DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/21/2005    Duedate: 04/02/2005

TOBIR ARENA

DM-14    TURN-511

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

I WET MY BED!
I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
(14-4052) [10-2-0,144]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

I WET MY BED!                  VIRTUE
I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)         PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)
(14-4052) [10-2-0,144]         (14-2307) [1-0-0,27]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

VISIGOTH                       VIRTUE
THE DEATH SQUAD (63)           PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)
(14-4214) [15-10-0,95]         (14-2307) [1-0-0,27]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)      52
2. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          19      I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
3. I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)      16      Unchartered Team
4. THE DEATH SQUAD (63)         9
5. THE SAVAGES (274)            0      BLITZKRIEG (421)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    23   6  0 79.3   1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)      9  6 0
 2- 3*TOTEM (422)               21   9  3 70.0   2/ 2 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        7  8 0
 3/ 2*BLITZKRIEG (421)          10   6  2 62.5   3/ 3 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    3  0 0
 4- 5*REALLY BIG GUYS (395)      6   4  1 60.0   4/ 4*BLITZKRIEG (421)          2  2 1
 5/ 6 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     400 322 26 55.4   5- 5*TOTEM (422)               2  3 1
 6/ 8 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       328 404  9 44.8   6- 7*REALLY BIG GUYS (395)     1  0 0
 7/ 0 THE SAVAGES (274)         22  41  3 34.9   7/ 0*PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)    1  3 0
 8/ 0*PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)     1   3  0 25.0   8/ 0 THE SAVAGES (274)         0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Advancing in the rankings was THE DOGHOUSE who 
went from last turn's 324-403-9, to this week's record of 328-404-9.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for VIRTUE, who flew up 27 points in the rankings after mashing THE GIPPER 
like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk 
out on the sands.  THE GIPPER was defeated by VIRTUE and drops 13 points.  ANGRY SHEW 
got through to the Duelmaster this turn.  No doubt he was more than anxious to kick I 
WET MY BED!'s tail out of the throne!  Our battling duelmaster I WET MY BED! has 
managed to hold the title, fending off ANGRY SHEW's none too subtle advances.  Better 
luck next time, THE DEATH SQUAD.  Advice to bashers--never force anything, just get a 
bigger halberd!   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the TOBIR arena.  Here's a 
song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad I BENT MY WOOKIE?   Big bad I BENT MY 
WOOKIE.  Big bad I BENT MY WOOKIE.  TOBIR's afraid of the big bad I BENT MY WOOKIE.  
Tra la la la la!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch THE DEATH SQUAD's act in the 
arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from I BENT MY WOOKIE.  Well 
just about everybody wants a piece of JUNO, who was this week's most challenged 
warrior.  In a mismatch, our friend DEAD MAN WALKING of THE DEATH SQUAD got heroic 
notions and challenged JUNO.  What did it get him?  A 17-6-1 record, that's what.  I 
don't know about you, but when I saw DEAD MAN WALKING step out on the sands with 
JUNO, I though it was over before it started.  Good upset DEAD MAN WALKING!   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  This week 6-7-0 HAM was sent to 
the Dark Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take notice 
of this.  Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time is a very 
important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in TOBIR have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Well, there goes another Spy 
Report.  Good luck in next week's fights.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- 
The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 I WET MY BED! 4052           10   2  0   144       I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE THING 4185               22   8  0    95       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 DEAD MAN WALKING 4220        17   6  1    95       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 VISIGOTH 4214                15  10  0    95       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 ANGRY SHEW 4201              18  10  0    92       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 BOWSER 4096                  16  33  1    92       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PUMA 4139                     5   1  1    90       TOTEM (422)
 JUNO 4178                    16  16  0    86       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
-10 FOOT RUDY 3829             6   3  1    71       REALLY BIG GUYS (395)
 HAYWOOD JAB 4238              8   4  1    69       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SNOW LEOPARD 4142             4   2  1    40       TOTEM (422)
 WOOFER 4254                   6   2  1    35       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PEREGRINE 4138                4   2  0    33       TOTEM (422)
-MONK 2392                     7   5  1    27       THE SAVAGES (274)
 ANDILLIA 4255                 5   3  0    27       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 VIRTUE 2307                   1   0  0    27       PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)
-THE GROPPER 4133              3   1  1    25       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-HAMMERIN HANK 4134            2   0  0    25       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-BEAVIS 2523                   3   1  0    24       THE SAVAGES (274)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DEATH STRIKE 2458             3   6  2    17       THE SAVAGES (274)
-FERRET 4140                   5   1  0    16       TOTEM (422)
 CHICHI-HOOEY 4270             1   0  0    13       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 THE GIPPER 4135               2   1  0     7       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-MEEP MEEP 2509                1   4  0     7       THE SAVAGES (274)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BULLFROG 4237                 1   1  1     5       TOTEM (422)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
SALLY 4132             2  2 1 BLITZKRIEG 421        STONE GOLEM 517       511 NONE    
HONEY PUP 4207        13 14 0 THE DOGHOUSE 188      PUMA 4139             510         
DIE, IDIOT 2505        0  1 0 PRIDE OF THE CDC 260  SHEWISH GIANT 512     511 NONE    
DC TURNCOAT 2306       0  1 0 PRIDE OF THE CDC 260  HIGH ELF 510          511 NONE    
TOAST 4269             0  1 0 PRIDE OF THE CDC 260  SHEWISH GIANT 512     511 NONE    
HAM 2389               6  7 0 THE SAVAGES 274       BLACK ORC 511         511 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Haywood Jab -- (pained look)  Didn't anyone tell you it's bad form to jab at a dog?
-- Bowser, just doing his job

Dead Man Walking -- I just KNEW you would get tired eventually. -- Juno
P.S.  And your bones are just deliciously ripe.

Puma -- I always knew you big cats were dangerous. -- Ghost of Honey Pup

Snow Leopard -- I heard that Debby Tonte once took a snow leopard to the beach and it 
melted.  We've got a beach here, don't we?  Wanna go for a walk? -- Andillia

Ferret -- I didn't know that taxmen had a totemic animal.  I guess I did everybody a 
favor chewing on you, right?  I mean, everybody would LIKE to chew on the taxmen, but 
they don't get the chance. -- Woofer

Well, it does make things SIMPLER if we don't have anybody else's personals to 
respond to.  But shorter. -- Leeta, The Doghouse

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HAM was barely slain by BLACK ORC in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SALLY was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
DIE, IDIOT was put to death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena match.
DC TURNCOAT was slaughtered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
TOAST was viciously butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
ANGRY SHEW was demolished by I WET MY BED! in a 1 minute Challenge Title competition.
DEAD MAN WALKING unbelievably bested JUNO in a 2 minute master's Challenge fight.
HAYWOOD JAB was overpowered by BOWSER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
THE THING narrowly defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a dull 13 minute gruesome melee.
VISIGOTH vanquished VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
WOOFER won victory over FRATSFAN NOBLE in a 2 minute duel.
ANDILLIA overpowered FRATSFAN NOBLE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
THE GIPPER was viciously subdued by VIRTUE in a 2 minute novice vs. veteran bout.
CHICHI-HOOEY handily defeated SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   2 -  2      80  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         TOTAL PARRY        7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         LUNGING ATTACK    35 -  19 -  3      65  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  11 -  0      52  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         AIMED BLOW         5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL      5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  12 -  1      33  |

Turn 511 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  4         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         3  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   I WET MY BED! 4052         10   2  0  144 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
TOTAL PARRY      THE THING 4185             22   8  0   95 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
PARRY-LUNGE      VISIGOTH 4214              15  10  0   95 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
SLASHING ATTACK  ANGRY SHEW 4201            18  10  0   92 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WOOFER 4254                 6   2  1   35 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is VISIGOTH 4214.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was VIRTUE 2307.  The ten other most popular fighters were HAM 2389, DIE, IDIOT 2505, 
TOAST 4269, JUNO 4178, I WET MY BED! 4052, DEAD MAN WALKING 4220, BOWSER 4096, 
VISIGOTH 4214, WOOFER 4254, and SALLY 4132.

The least popular fighter this week was THE THING 4185.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HAYWOOD JAB 4238, ANGRY SHEW 4201, DC TURNCOAT 2306, CHICHI-HOOEY 4270, 
THE GIPPER 4135, ANDILLIA 4255, SALLY 4132, WOOFER 4254, VISIGOTH 4214, and BOWSER 
4096.