Date   : 04/18/2005    Duedate: 04/30/2005


DM-14    TURN-513

This Weeks Top Honors


(14-4178) [17-17-0,103]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

I WET MY BED!                  RAVAGED RILLION
(14-4052) [11-2-0,158]         (14-4266) [1-0-0,12]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

VISIGOTH                       I WET MY BED!
THE DEATH SQUAD (63)           I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
(14-4214) [16-11-0,80]         (14-4052) [11-2-0,158]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          18
2. I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)      14      I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
3. BLOOD BROTHERS (434)        12      Unchartered Team
4. PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)       0
5. THE SAVAGES (274)            0      BLOOD BROTHERS (434)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*BLOOD BROTHERS (434)       1   0  0  100   1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)      8  4 0
 2/ 1 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    24   6  0 80.0   2/ 2 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        7  8 0
 3- 3*BLITZKRIEG (421)          10   6  2 62.5   3- 3*PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)    3  6 0
 4/ 5 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     405 324 26 55.6   4/ 4 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    2  0 0
 5/ 6 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       331 411  9 44.6   5/ 0*BLOOD BROTHERS (434)      1  0 0
 6- 7 THE SAVAGES (274)         22  41  3 34.9   6- 7*BLITZKRIEG (421)          0  2 0
 7- 8*PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)     3   6  0 33.3   7- 8 THE SAVAGES (274)         0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Hot and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "It's infamous, that's what it is!  The gladiators are losing all respect.  They
don't FEAR us as they should."  Cultic Grandmaster Sleeth scowled around at his
companions, to the accompaniment of a crash of thunder and the sound of a tree being
rent in two or possibly three somewhere near at hand.
     "They can defeat us.  Why should they be afraid?" Darias Le Plume, the
Trustworthy Scribe asked.  His fingers played nervously with his quill pen,
scratching a tense little design on the scrap of parchment in front of him, but he
seemed unaware of what his right hand was doing.  "I'm taking out insurance...."
     "What kind of insurance can there be against death in the arena?" Cheulian Asri
of the Beggars' Guild demanded.  "Everyone who steps onto the sands takes that risk."
     Sleeth leaned forward suddenly and put his hand over Le Plume's doodle, getting
a nasty wound from the steel-tipped quill in the process.  "Don't do that," he said.
"You do NOT want to summon a demon!"
     "Just the sigil won't summon--"
     "I know more of these things than you," the Cult Master hissed.  "In drawing
that sigil, you are taking risks you can't imagine."  His scowl had reached
formidable proportions.
     "A demon?  How can that be insurance?" the Beggar asked, also leaning forward,
and trying to get a glimpse of the drawing.
     "It wouldn't keep me alive," Le Plume said, "but it'd make sure that the killer
didn't get a chance to gloat."  He shrugged.  "I figured if I carried it on me, over
my heart, any blow that killed me would drench the sigil with blood and release the
demon, and it'd get the nearest person:  the one who'd just killed me.  Seemed fair."
     "No, no, NO!  You can't treat a demon that way!  You think a demon would stop at
'getting' just the killer?"  Sleeth snatched the piece of parchment and tore it up
carefully.  "Demons don't care about 'fair'.  They only care that the Rules are
followed, and by the Rules, drawing the sigil is a Declaration of Intent to Summon.
You could bring disaster on us all!  On the whole city.  Besides, just SUMMONING a
demon isn't enough, you have to be prepared to CONTROL it, and you've made no
preparations for THAT, have you?  By the condyles of the Crooked Bone, you've made no
proper preparations at all!"  Once he had reduced the parchment to shreds, he fed the
bits into the flame of the candle on the table between them, darting nervous glances
over both shoulders as he did so.  There was nothing to see but the room itself,
small, comfortable, warm with firelight.  The windows were shuttered and would have
been blinded by rain anyway; they could all hear drumming of rain on the roof
whenever the thunder paused.
     "That's no way to run anything," Le Plume said.  "Stupid situation.  It should
be regularized--"
     "It has been!  What do you think the Rules ARE?"
     "There wasn't any mention of 'rules' in the book I found.  All right, all
right."  Le Plume shrugged and pulled several more scraps of parchment from a pocket.
"I suppose you'd better have these, too, then."
     "More?"  Sleeth took the sigils in a trembling hand, hardly daring to look at
them long enough to identify the demons they were aimed at.  "I trust this is...," he
swallowed once, "all?"
     Le Plume didn't meet his eyes.  "That's all I have," he said.
     Cheulian Asri, Chief Spokesman for the Beggars' Guild, was perhaps a better
judge of people than Cultic Grandmaster Sleeth, and he looked at the Trustworthy
Scribe with deep suspicion.  "All you HAVE?" he repeated.  "Perhaps, but is that all
the demonic sigils you MADE?"
     "An excellent question!" Sleeth said.  He bestowed an approving glance on the
Beggar, then resumed frowning at the Scribe, Le Plume.  "Have you drawn more of these
accursed sigils--"
     "Accursed, Sleeth?"  Le Plume laughed sarcastically.  "That's a fine word coming
from you!"
     Grandmaster Sleeth bristled, and he was a man well designed by nature to
bristle, being large and hirsute, with a low sloping forehead (but one which, none
the less for that, concealed an astute brain) and massive shoulders.  "I will have
you know that the Cult of the Crooked Bone is a respectable, legitimate, minor cult!"
     Le Plume snorted derisively.
     "And further," Sleeth said, for he had a bulldog's habit of not letting go of
something once he got hold of it, whether it be something material or immaterial, and
whosoever might claim ownership of it, "you have not answered our question: to wit,
have you drawn any more of these sigils?  Come to that, where is the book you got
them from?  It should not be floating around loose in our town, lest we be overrun
with demons!"  His frown deepened as he further crushed the ashes, formed by burning
the torn-up sigils, with one broad thumb.  "And beyond that, I do not recall having
heard of any book which contains all the sigils you had with you, save only the Dark
Demonicon, of which no copy is said to exist save perhaps in the libraries of the
Witch of the Grey Wand and of a certain ancient mage in the most distant East, whose
name I shall not utter here.  What book was it that held those sigils, how came you
to have it, and what have you done with it?"
     "What an old fuss-pot you are!" Le Plume said.
     A shadow in the corner of the room stirred, disclosing the massive form of Dacio
Torrans, the Ambitious Guard, who had been quietly drinking beer.  Now he crossed the
room to stand beside the table, looming over the slender Le Plume.  "Those are good
questions," he said.  "Answer them."  And he smiled.
     Le Plume, looking up at that smile, swallowed once.  For it was a peculiarity of
Torrans that, though he could not take the shape of a tiger as so many of his kinsmen
could do, he had one fang, and it was long and wickedly curved, so that when he
smiled, it seemed to other people that a tiger would have been preferable.  "I found
the book," the Trustworthy Scribe said sullenly.
     Without speaking, his companions personified doubt.
     "I did!  It was in a leather sack in an alley, with six and a half pairs of
dirty socks on top of it and nothing to identify the owner of the sack or the socks."
He took a deep breath.  "But the socks--I saved them--are...peculiar.  I can't
imagine the foot they would fit."
     "Thirteen socks of a strange shape?"  Sleeth sat back, and his frown was now a
frown of deep concern.  "Were these socks by any chance gray with red clocks?"  When
Le Plume nodded, the Grandmaster shut his eyes.  "It is a dark thing," he muttered.
Opening his eyes again, he said, "Where is the book?"
     "In my room," the Scribe said.  "In my clothes chest, under my handkerchiefs."
     "Not your socks?"
     "No, the handkerchiefs."
     "Then there may still be time to avert disaster.  Let us go at once to retrieve
the damned tome!"

     I started this last fall and got side-tracked.  But THIS time, we're going
through with it.  These demons are dangerous, and something has to be DONE about
them.  It can be handled entirely by the standbys, or a couple of gladiators here
could volunteer to get involved.  A personal would do it, or an email to

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 255): CHAOS WARRIOR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 512): K. K. DOWNING of THE HEADCUTTERS II (Street Legal)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 512): VISIGOTH of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 505): MAYBE LATER of JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 501): STONEFISH of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 501): TRIMOX of OSCO INTOXICATORS (Osco, mgr.)
                           Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 494): BERTHA of THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 463): DARK LENORA of BEYOND THE PALE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 456): THE VEAL DEAL of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 446): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 203): RENDOR QUIL of MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 361): THE-SHOCKER of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 350): SHADY LADY of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 157): MORROLAN E'DRIEN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo
                             Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 398): PEPSI of OVERWORLD from FIREHOLD (Papaiz, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 255): LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 512): THE HEADCUTTERS II (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 512): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 505): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 501): AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 501): OSCO INTOXICATORS (Osco, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 502): VENOM (Lord Fang, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 494): THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 463): BLOOD ANGELS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 456): GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 446): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 203): SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 361): SILENT WARRIORS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 350): EMPIRE OF THE SUN (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 157): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 398): THE POISON CLAN (Master Tazo, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 512): K. K. DOWNING of THE HEADCUTTERS II (Street Legal)
                               BLUE BLAZES of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
                               LOWELL DARNO of IMMORTALS (Dartor, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 505): MAYBE LATER of JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 501): PINK of SEEING RED (Edge, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 446): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 361): THE-SHOCKER of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
                          WILDFIRE of NATURAL DISASTERS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                          NEWCASTLE of BEERBARIANS (The Dark One, mgr.)
              (turn 360): DEMURRER of LEGALESE (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             WHIPSNADE of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             DASKINOR of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters.  Look on my work, ye mighty, 
and despair!  THE DEATH SQUAD had cause to celebrate, after HAYWOOD JAB got 18 points 
by beating BOWSER.  ANDILLIA certainly had a baffled expression on hers face, after 
losing to CHEERFUL FAN and losing 11 points in the process!  What can be a greater 
victory?  JUNO has taken his place as the top, as TOBIR's new Duelmaster.  So who's 
the team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds like a 
PR stunt to me.   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Perhaps the warriors of I BENT MY WOOKIE should 
take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team...  Like a pup with its tail 
between its legs, THE DEATH SQUAD scurried away from I BENT MY WOOKIE.  Oh, the 
shame!  If challenges were horses, I WET MY BED! could open up a fast food joint!  
Place your bets!  THE THING is the long shot of the week:  they challenged I WET MY 
BED!, up by 49.  If THE THING had won victory over I WET MY BED!, he'd be a hero, but 
since he lost we just laugh at him.  Tough break.   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Questions are being 
raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the arena.  A certain tavern in 
TOBIR would I avoid!   
     All good things must come to an end.  As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond 
my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Do not despair!  I shall return!-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUNO 4178                    17  17  0   103       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 I WET MY BED! 4052           11   2  0   158       I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
 ANGRY SHEW 4201              20  10  0   105       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 DEAD MAN WALKING 4220        18   6  1    97       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 THE THING 4185               22   9  0    93       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HAYWOOD JAB 4238              9   4  1    87       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 BOWSER 4096                  16  35  1    84       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 VISIGOTH 4214                16  11  0    80       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VIRTUE 2307                   2   0  0    44       PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANDILLIA 4255                 6   4  0    31       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 WOOFER 4254                   7   3  1    28       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
-MONK 2392                     7   5  1    27       THE SAVAGES (274)
-THE GROPPER 4133              3   1  1    25       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-HAMMERIN HANK 4134            2   0  0    25       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-BEAVIS 2523                   3   1  0    24       THE SAVAGES (274)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DEATH STRIKE 2458             3   6  2    17       THE SAVAGES (274)
-BRANDISHER ICON 4272          1   0  0    13       PRIDE OF THE CDC (260)
 RAVAGED RILLION 4266          1   0  0    12       BLOOD BROTHERS (434)
-THE GIPPER 4135               2   1  0     7       BLITZKRIEG (421)
-MEEP MEEP 2509                1   4  0     7       THE SAVAGES (274)
 CHICHI-HOOEY 4270             1   2  0     5       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
HONEY PUP 4207        13 14 0 THE DOGHOUSE 188      PUMA 4139             510         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Visigoth -- The only explanation I can think of--for why you defeated me so easily,
you understand, there are lots of other mysteries I don't even TRY to understand--is
that you went invisible on me, hit me four times in as many seconds (are you using
some enhancer of speed?), and then resumed normal visibility, and the arenamaster, of
whom I think grossly disrespectful thoughts, didn't even NOTICE.  But at least YOU
are the one who has to write a column.  That's something. -- Bowser

Virtue -- (injured look)  (very easy, considering)  That wasn't virtuous!  I'm a GOOD
dog, and beating up a Good Dog is a Bad Thing to Do. -- Woofer

Angry Shew -- Could I interest you in anger-management techniques? -- Juno

Those Delarquan Sailors, always trying to lay hands on a woman!  They're relentless,
but fortunately not very good as gladiators. -- Andillia

Brandisher Icon -- That was disconcerting.  You don't seem to be actually, literally
THERE, if you know what I mean.  Oh, sure, there's an IMAGE, but when I tried to hit
it, well, I might as well have tried to hit a sunbeam.  How do you do that? --

28 March 2005
Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order
to continue playing?  Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with
case law or legal advice?  The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from
us once (though I recently had that decision overturned).  I believe it's only a
matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need
be.  I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated!  I
can be contacted at:
     Danny Warren
     P.O. Box 250
     Draper, UT  84070
     Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47

28 March 2005
Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest
contest ever to grace the arena sands!  Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got
it going on!  What is this contest?  It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!!
This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up
some of the slack.  Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?).  It's an
"alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time.
Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. --
Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances

28 March 2005
Contest Announcement
It's finally here!  ScumFest 2005!  The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are
formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest
scum in all of Alastari!

Who:  All Scum in Alastari
What:  Scum Fest 2005!
Where:  Talahya
When:  May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499

The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at
the end of the 10th round.

Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order):
- Head to Head Record
- Win/Loss Percentage
- Average Fight Length
(We'll go into overtime if they're still tied)

There are no other rules.  A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to
accomplish his goal.  Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc.
Anything goes!

To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter,
declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com

Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants.  You may enter the
competition up until Turn 494.

Prizes will be announced after the competition begins.  The point of the contest is
to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize.

Good luck and Happy Scumming!

-- Manager

6 April 2005
                                SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE

     I would like to make a formal announcement to all the managers of Alastari that
the inaugural/memorial challenge put forth by Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest (Richard
Hammes) has been approved by the commission.  The contest will be held in TROCAR,
arena 54, beginning on the turn that starts around June 2nd.  Keep in mind that this
is a slow arena.  Before I go on, I would like to personally thank the commission for
procuring an outstanding top prize for this contest.  This announcement follows my
last and entry into the contest will be a minimum $5 donation, which I will pool and
give to a charity in the San Diego area in Richard Hammes' name and memory.  My
address is at the end.  Once the donation is made, I intend to notify RSI of the
charity and amount we donated as a matter of pride for them and us in this game!  I
will notify everyone in an all arena ad as well.
     The contest is pretty simple.  Any team may enter, there are no restrictions on
fight experience!  There are no challenges, avoids, bloodfeuds, or tourneys allowed
and only one single use of the Dark Arena is allowed after the contest begins.  To
help eliminate any interference, I am going to allow avoids of non-contest teams in
case they are there to manipulate and affect the winner of the contest.  Scoring is
as follows:

1 point for winning
1 point for killing (giving 2 in total, 1 for the win and 1 for the kill)
1 point for at least one of your warriors writing a personal (regardless of number of
     personals beyond one you still only get one point).  Make sure it is written
     from one of your team's warriors and not simply the manager entity or you will
     not get the point.
-1 point for losing
-1 point for being killed (giving -2 in total, -1 for losing and -1 for being killed)

     The contest will last for 12 turns, again beginning roughly June 2nd.  May I
point out that if you use your Dark Arena fight you will get either 2 points, for
winning, or -2, for losing, and ALL fights count in the scoring.  It matters not if
you fight a non-contest warrior or a stand-in; they still count as much as fighting a
contest warrior.  This will be a test of basic strategy with a touch of luck added in
as well.
     If anyone should break the no tourney rule they will lose 5 points for each
warrior entered and those warriors, and any subsequent warriors who replace them in
death, cannot score points!  Break the no DA, challenge, or avoid rules (except
avoids of non-contest teams) and you will be DQ'd as soon as the transgression is
discovered.  To keep the contest playing field as level as possible, we will have no
messing with these rules.  Of course you may DA the one time, just as a
clarification, but the second time gets you DQ'd.  This also counts if it is found
you bring a second team in for the purpose of making challenges.  You can bring a
second team, just don't think they can challenge to give you an advantage.  This
means DQ to your contest team.  A second team may also enter the contest with its own
donation of $5 and adherence to the rules.  Well, enough of that, I'm sure you'd like
to see the prizes so here they are:

1st place - +1 bonus to one warrior on the team, 1 resurrection potion, and 1
     favorite knowledge
2nd place - +1 bonus for one warrior, 1 favorites knowledge
3rd place- +1 bonus for one warrior
Iron Manager - Run 54 of the possible 60 fights and get a +1 bonus potion

     The resurrection potion may be used on any FE warrior, however the favorites and
+1 bonus potions must be used on a warrior with at least 5 FE.  These prizes also
must be used within 2 turns of the ending of the contest.  Even those rookie level
teams can figure out a way to use that resurrection potion if you think night fight
;), after the contest of course, so don't think this is only good for experienced
teams!  Check your rosters and unused RU's and see if you can't find a reason to come
and test your mettle!
     Again, entry fee is a minimum $5 donation, money order preferred method but if
that doesn't work for you we can figure alternate means.  If a hopeful entrant
happens to be incarcerated and the only real means of making the donation is an
account transfer, please make sure you let me know where the transfer came from and
which team it is for.  I prefer that this only be used as donation method by
incarcerated players unless otherwise discussed with me.  Please drop me an email, or
diplo my team in Tobir(14), letting me know you are sending a donation for entry and
the amount so I can be on the lookout for it in the mail.  Thanks to all who have
sent their sympathies regarding our game's loss of a kind and admirable soul and my
best wishes to all!

Street Legal
Jeff Bura
193 Pepperidge Dr.
Wixom, MI 48393
THE DEATH SQUAD (63) in Tobir, arena 14

12 April 2005
                               A Question of Contests
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     The familiar figure of a veteran manager clad in an Elven War Cloak at a lone
outpost somewhere near the cross roads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen sorted through his
vast disarray of DM papers and notes.
     Hammer pondered upon the recent dispatches that he had received regarding the
upcoming contests that he had been invited to participate in; after all, most contest
managers enjoyed having a HAMMERZ stable on the sands, due to the fact that they were
usually comprised of dues paying gladiators who were just a cut above the average RSI
Stand Ins.
     The Scum Fest in ADM sponsored by the veteran manager named Manager looked like
an entertaining offer, but alas, Hammer had NO candidates worthy enough to warrant
spending the cycle fees for their fleeting participation in such a contest.
     Perhaps sometime in the future, when Hammer succeeded in graduating some Aimers
and a promising candidate from one of his slow arena stables, would be the proper
     TW4 in DM 47 was already on Hammer's list of contests to participate in,
especially with the convening of the Clown Circus in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena,
along with all the other zany personalities and alliances that promised to make this
the greatest ever Turf War contest that Alastari had ever witnessed upon the bloody
arena sands!
     Those same Clowns had sent Hammer an invitation to participate in a contest that
their Dark Knighties were sponsoring in an Andorian slow arena, but Hammer also had
an invitation to send a stable to DM 54 for a contest being held in the memory of
Slaughter Priest, one of Hammer's former alliance mates who had met with an untimely
and violently unexpected death while doing a good deed for a friend off world in San
     Also added into the mix was an intriguing contest being sponsored by Zalgor
Prigg that was to be staged in a few months in the currently closed DM 13 Dullens
Regular Arena.
     Zalgor had contacted Hammer earlier in the year to inform the veteran manager
that his newest contest would feature a first round Dark Arena Challenge to level the
playing field.  Also, each gladiator would have a hyphenated Style listing after
their name for the Style Masters competition.
     An All Arena Ad Announcement was expected to be filed by Zalgor sometime before
the Summer 2005 Tourney, thus allowing the DM 13 Dark Arena Replacement Warriors from
the Dullens Contest to enter the Rookie Fall Mailer Tourney to prep for the contest.
     Hammer had been considering sponsoring such a Dark Arena First Round Type
Contest, but it would be much better to just enter the Zalgor sponsored contest,
rather than to be subjected to all the current Contest Host Harassment that was
plaguing the many contest arenas throughout Alastari.
     A grim smile crossed the lips of Hammer as he thought about the possibility of
the Clowns getting a taste of their own medicine while sponsoring their Andorian
     Hammer quickly took a pen and paper, writing instructions to his gladiator
trainer GrimmDorr at his Hammerz Flower Garden Morya Manor Estate on the Lake on the
outskirts of the DM 28 Morya Arena, to assemble a Cast of Cast Offs to enter the
upcoming contest being sponsored by Zalgor Prigg.
     Hammer jotted down a note to file the following stable with the Gladiatorial
Commission once Zalgor Prigg had announced the contest in Dullens DM 13 Arena:
Zalgor Prigg sponsored contest in Dullens DM 13 whenever the Gladiatorial Commission
was ready.
     Hammer then turned his attention to the two slow arena contest invitations that
tugged at his emotions for full participation.
     However, there was only room for one more stable addition in the current plans
of the veteran manager, who had deactivated his SNOW CALL HAMMERZ in DM 50 to devote
his attention to entering a new stable in a promising slow arena contest.
     Street Legal had recently cleared the air with the Gladiatorial Commission in
regards to sponsoring SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE in DM 54, which would begin in Trocar
around the first week of June.
     As yet, there seemed to be NO OFFICIAL ALL ARENA ANNOUNCEMENT from the Clowns
regarding their contest in an Andorian slow arena.
     These Clowns had a lot to learn about sponsoring and advertising contests!
     Hammer thought back to two years ago when Maximillian had convinced the veteran
manager to Co-Sponsor Maximillian's Morya Madness in the DM 28 slow arena.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades in the
Madness by entering a stable named LEE FAMILY.
     LEE FAMILY had NOT missed a single fight during the Madness until Slaughter
Priest's life was snuffed out one dark night in San Diego while helping a friend.
     When the Delarq Death Fest was sponsored by Hammer in the DM 59 Illis slow
arena, Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades by sending a stable
named FASCIST DROOL to compete for the Ten Death Fest Prize Categories.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes had been a true DM friend and
a fine competitor among many, not to mention a close comrade in arms while Hammer had
been a member of the Vendetta Cartel.
     As was written by Street Legal a.k.a. Jeff Bura in a recent All Arena Ad Eulogy
to the Memory of Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes:
     "On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
     Now the DM Community who either knew Rich personally from the RT and VC Emails,
or from crossing blades on the sands with this avid DM competitor; now have the
opportunity to Honor His Memory by competing in a DM 54 contest held in his Honor.
     Could Hammer do no less?
     This was an opportunity to set aside personal goals and allocate the necessary
funds to enter a stable in SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE to Honor the Memory of Rich Hammes!
     Hammer quickly filled out an entry form to dispatch to the Gladiatorial
Commission to register the following stable in DM 54 Trocar for SLAUGHTER'S
     Be it known that MEMORIAL HAMMERZ are hereby registering SLAUGHTER HAMMER, FASC
Trocar for the Street Legal sponsored contest in Honor of Richard Hammes a.k.a.
Abarsis the Slaughter Priest.
     GRUNGE GIRL was one of Slaughter Priest's warriors from his FASCIST DROOL.
stable that was entered in the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59 Illis Arena, so it was only
fitting to name one of the MEMORIAL HAMMERZ gladiators after one of Rich's warriors
that had competed in a Hammer Sponsored Contest.
     Hammer leaned back in his chair and reflected upon the memories of his fallen
comrade from his days in the Vendetta Cartel. Tears moistened the veteran manager's
eyes upon every remembrance of his fallen VC comrade in arms.
     Hopefully the odd assortment of veteran and newbie managers would answer the
call to cross blades in Honor of the fallen Slaughter Priest in the type of contest
that Rich had envisioned to one day Sponsor and Participate with some of Alastari's
Finest Managers!
     This One's for YOU Rich/Slaughter Priest; May You Rest in Peace!

Minister of War
kLk Knight
Illuminati Ice Pick

12 April 2005
                           FRATSFA'S QUEST FOR THE BEST!!!

     Rollup certs aplenty!  Need to know favorites for warriors initiate or above?
SURE!  Renaming of both the arena and the D.A. Monsters?  Why not!  Skill bonus
potions?  Of course!  This and more is all possible for the top 10 (ten) teams in:
Fratsfa's Quest for the Best!
     What does it cost you ask?  NOTHING!  Who is running the contest and putting up
the total of 30 rollup certs as prizes to be split up amongst the top 6 (six) teams?
Dark Knight Wasby, Dark Knight Goat and Dark Knight Toker of the Desolate Empire of
vendett@UNITED!  The gaming commission is also going to supply prizes for the top 10
(ten) teams.  Where?  FRATSFA DM-52!  When?  The month of July, T-207.
     Rules!  We, of the Desolate Empire, do not like the word Rules!  So, we use the
term requirements.  Here they are:

1.  One team per manager entered in the contest.
2.  Only (1) Total Parry on your team at a time.
3.  You must declare (1) warrior as your team's scout.
4.  Managers that have teams established in Fratsfa must have 3 (three) warriors in
    the initiates class by the contest's 3rd turn.  (If they wish to compete, or can
    send in new team!)
5.  If you bloodfeud, you must use a different warrior each time to score the
    bloodfeud points.
6.  You must declare your team in the p-ads to be entered.
7.  A declared champion and scout cannot be the same warrior.
8.  Champions are not required (manager's choice)!  Champions must be declared on the
    first fight.

     We are also offering 25 bonus points to managers that submit a brief history (5
paragraph minimum) including your manager and team name by the contest's 3rd turn.
These points will be added to the scores on turn 211.
     Now, on to the scoring:  Wins + Kills - Losses = base score
                                     Base score + Variants = Total Score

WIN = +1 point
KILL = +1 point
LOSS = -1 point

SCOUT WIN = +2 points
SCOUT LOSS = -2 points
SCOUT DEATH = -5 points
CHAMPION WIN = +3 points
CHAMPION LOSS = -3 points

     Let's say (a) team goes 3-2-2 = 3 wins + 2 kills - 2 losses = +3 base score.
His champion won (+3 pts) and is style master for this turn (+1 pt).  His scout lost
(-2), for a total turn score of +5 points.
     Now, let's say (b) team goes 1-4-1 = 1 win + 1 kill - 4 losses = -2 pts.  His
fighting marvel of a scout won (+2 pts) and the scout's win was a successful
bloodfeud (+2 pts).  So, the total points for the turn would be +2 points.  (There
was no champion on this team.)

Now on to the prizes:

     1)  12 (Twelve) rollup gift certificates transferred to "Fratsfa's Best"
         ultimate victor.
     2)  Renaming of Fratsfa's arena for 6 (six) months.
     3)  Renaming of D.A. monsters: Wurmkin', Bandit Prince and Black Orc.
     4)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     5)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  8 (eight) rollup gift certificates transferred to 2nd place manager.
     2)  Rename the D.A. monsters:  Dark Champion and High Elf.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus potion.*
     1)  4 (four) rollup gift certificates transferred to 3rd place manager.
     2)  Renaming of D.A. monsters Mountain Troll and Shewish Giant.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  3 (three) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. Monster Stone Golem
     1)  2 (two) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. monster Spy Master
     1)  1 (one) rollup gift certificate
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     All teams that fight at least 67 of the possible 75 fights will get 1 (one) FREE
tournament entry for a warrior of that team in the first tournament after the
completion of "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best"!

-- NOTE --
* -- All potions must be used within 2 (two) turns of the contest and on initiate
(tournament class) or higher character on the same team that competed in Fratsfa,
*  1 (one) favorites potion gives all faves:  Rhythm, Tactic and Weapon.
** 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion gives +1 to 1 (one) skill.

    Our thanks go to RSI for their cooperation with us on the prizes they have
sponsored to make this contest of ours a reality.

     Any questions can be addressed to Toker, mgr. Vincere Aut Mori in DM 18 or by
email:  darkknighttoker@yahoo.com!  OR to Goat, mgr. Desolate Ones DM 47 or to Wasby,
mgr. Soul Forge in DM 47.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THE THING was viciously subdued by I WET MY BED! in a 4 minute Challenge fight.
HAYWOOD JAB handily defeated BOWSER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
VISIGOTH was vanquished by JUNO in a 1 minute mismatched Title brawl.
ANGRY SHEW overpowered VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
DEAD MAN WALKING bested M. CHARDINEE in a popular 1 minute duel.
ANDILLIA was devastated by CHEERFUL FAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
WOOFER handily defeated SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
CHICHI-HOOEY was vanquished by RAVAGED RILLION in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   3 -  1      73  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -   8 -  0      64  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  18 -  1      61  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         TOTAL PARRY        6 -   4 -  0      60  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         WALL OF STEEL      4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  13 -  1      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 513 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   I WET MY BED! 4052         11   2  0  158 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
SLASHING ATTACK  ANGRY SHEW 4201            20  10  0  105 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
TOTAL PARRY      THE THING 4185             22   9  0   93 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
PARRY-LUNGE      VISIGOTH 4214              16  11  0   80 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is VISIGOTH 4214.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was I WET MY BED! 4052.  The ten other most popular fighters were DEAD MAN WALKING 
4266, THE THING 4185, BOWSER 4096, VISIGOTH 4214, and ANDILLIA 4255.

The least popular fighter this week was CHICHI-HOOEY 4270.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ANDILLIA 4255, VISIGOTH 4214, BOWSER 4096, THE THING 4185, 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: