Date   : 06/27/2005    Duedate: 07/09/2005


DM-14    TURN-518

This Weeks Top Honors


(14-4185) [26-10-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE THING                      POSITION IS EMPTY
THE DEATH SQUAD (63)           
(14-4185) [26-10-0,111]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

VISIGOTH                       THE THING
(14-4214) [20-12-0,108]        (14-4185) [26-10-0,111]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE DEATH SQUAD (63)        50
2. THE DOGHOUSE (188)           7      I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)
3. I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)     %-105    Unchartered Team

                                       DEATH FROM BELOW (324)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    28   7  0 80.0   1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     10  5 0
 2/ 3 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     420 334 26 55.7   2/ 2 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        9  5 0
 3/ 4 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       343 423  9 44.8   3/ 4 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)    2  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "Hold!" Arenamaster Vasku said.
     Everyone in the room froze, even the Things which were emerging from Le Plume's
inner chamber.
     "A situation confronts us which is more dire than anything conjured up with the
aid of the Accursed Tome," Vasku said.  "It requires our immediate and complete
     The Kali-Flower, which had disintegrated into several Kali-Florets, began
creeping toward the outer door.
     Vasku pointed his red-shining blade at one of them.  "You, too, must hear and
assist," he said sternly.  To the standbys, he said, "I call you to witness that
while we have addressed this problem, a greater one has beset our arena:  the number
of active teams has declined steadily.  It may be that this is a secondary effect of
Le Plume's unhallowed conjurations, or it may have some other cause, but we MUST
     "That's the Commission's problem," Torranz protested.  "What can WE do about
     "An answer must be found," Vasku said, "lest this arena be closed!"
     "Nothing wrong with that," Sleeth said.  "It'd give us all a chance to rest and
look into this business of the sigils."
     The arenamaster whirled on Sleeth, looking more demonic by the moment.  "Not so!
The arena itself is a sigil of stability, and if it ceases to operate, this whole
area may lose coherence.  A Thing more or less would THEN be meaningless."
     Dacio Torranz had not gotten the post of Ambitious Guard for a lack of courage.
He faced the arenamaster squarely.  "Still, what can WE do?  We're at the mercy of
the managers."

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for PORN 'STACHE, who flew up 17 points in the rankings after mashing 
CHICHI-HOOEY like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't 
pay to walk out on the sands.  CHICHI-HOOEY was overcame by PORN 'STACHE and drops 3 
points.  Unlike most arenas, I WET MY BED! managed to get its challenge off against 
the 25-10-0 THE THING.  It's a proud day for the THE DEATH SQUAD stable, as their 
warrior, THE THING, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  Can you believe they are 
paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that THE DEATH SQUAD was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of THE DEATH SQUAD's warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may 
not be funny, but catch I BENT MY WOOKIE's act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to 
be fairly deft at running from THE DEATH SQUAD.  And who is this BOWSER you ask, with 
93 points and a 18-38-1 record.  Ooh, the tales I could tell!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes 
and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in TOBIR have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), 
oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE THING 4185               26  10  0   111       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VISIGOTH 4214                20  12  0   108       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 HAYWOOD JAB 4238             12   6  1    99       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 BOWSER 4096                  18  38  1    93       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANDILLIA 4255                 9   6  0    56       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 WOOFER 4254                  10   5  1    48       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PORN 'STACHE 4276             1   3  0    20       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHICHI-HOOEY 4270             3   5  0    14       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Visigoth -- I salute you for a battle well-fought, and I wish YOU could be Duel2Dude.
Oh, well, at least the bed-wetter is leaving, too.  Finally. -- Juno

Dead Man Walking -- So, you're out of here, eh?  Good luck and a good footpath to
you, then. -- Bowser

'Stache -- Women tell me they like the way it tickles when you kiss 'em.  Maybe I
should grow one...what do you think?  Would I look good with a mustache? -- Chichi-

Cheerful Fan -- You might grin a little less when the Killer Tomatoes come for you.
-- Andillia

The Delarquan Sailor was just trying to get away to the harbor and get out of here.
He wasn't going to try to help us fight the Demonic Veggies at all!  I call that
mean-spirited of him. -- Woofer

Ed. -- Sticks and Bones, to think that we're prisoners in a world run by paranoid
deities! -- Bowser

     What other explanation is there? -- Ed.

7 June 2005
I am in the process of moving house, and spotlight writing for the next two months
will be very hit-and-miss. -- the Scribe

27 June 2005
For the purposes of tourney newsletter alliance listings (when I am able to do them),
you may only be listed in ONE alliance.  In other words, you have to choose!  If you
are a part of Englebert's Alliance and Englebert's Alliance is "part" of Ruthrauf's
Alliance, I will list you EITHER as part of Englebert's Alliance OR as part of
Ruthrauf's Alliance, NOT both.  The default would be the top-level alliance,
Ruthrauf's, in this example.  If you'd rather be listed separately, let me know and I
will do so, but that will be the only listing you get. -- The Saint, keeper of ever-
more-complicated lists

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

I WET MY BED! was unbelievably bested by THE THING in a 5 minute Challenge fight.
HAYWOOD JAB handily defeated BOWSER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PORN 'STACHE vanquished CHICHI-HOOEY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
DEAD MAN WALKING overpowered VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
VISIGOTH devastated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
WOOFER defeated DELARQUAN SAILOR in a 3 minute veteran vs. amateur struggle.
ANDILLIA handily defeated DELARQUAN SAILOR in a 3 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         LUNGING ATTACK    25 -  10 -  1      71  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   6 -  0      60  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         TOTAL PARRY        7 -   5 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  12 -  1      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         AIMED BLOW         5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         WALL OF STEEL      3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 518 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      THE THING 4185             26  10  0  111 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
PARRY-LUNGE      VISIGOTH 4214              20  12  0  108 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
LUNGING ATTACK   HAYWOOD JAB 4238           12   6  1   99 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
AIMED BLOW       ANDILLIA 4255               9   6  0   56 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WOOFER 4254                10   5  1   48 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is VISIGOTH 4214.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was THE THING 4185.  The ten other most popular fighters were HAYWOOD JAB 4238, 
CHICHI-HOOEY 4270,  0,  0, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was CHICHI-HOOEY 4270.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BOWSER 4096, WOOFER 4254, PORN 'STACHE 4276, ANDILLIA 4255, 
VISIGOTH 4214, HAYWOOD JAB 4238, THE THING 4185,  0,  0, and  0.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

I WET MY BED! (14-4052) I BENT MY WOOKIE (413)

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XXXIX

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ZERO THE HERO 4129 (22-9-1)            4  3  0         THE DEATH SQUAD      

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RAVAGED RILLION 4266 (0-0-0)           2  3  0         BLOOD BROTHERS       

ADM FOOLS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BEAVIS 3996 (22-18-4)                  6  2  0         THE DEATH SQUAD      

CHALLENGERS FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MICHAEL PALIN 2750 (7-2-0)             0  3  0         MONTY PYTHON         

CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
I WET MY BED! 4052 (10-2-0)            0  3  0         I BENT MY WOOKIE     


Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis!  
Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005.  It will be 
at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  The rooms 
are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! 
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  See you there!

Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe!
Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 
1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's 
reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your 
reservation soon before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and
several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all 
looking forward to it and that we will see you there!