DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 06/27/2005 Duedate: 07/09/2005 TOBIR ARENA DM-14 TURN-518 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS THE THING THE DEATH SQUAD (63) (14-4185) [26-10-0,111] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader THE THING POSITION IS EMPTY THE DEATH SQUAD (63) (14-4185) [26-10-0,111] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite VISIGOTH THE THING THE DEATH SQUAD (63) THE DEATH SQUAD (63) (14-4214) [20-12-0,108] (14-4185) [26-10-0,111] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM THE DEATH SQUAD (63) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. THE DEATH SQUAD (63) 50 2. THE DOGHOUSE (188) 7 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413) 3. I BENT MY WOOKIE (413) %-105 Unchartered Team DEATH FROM BELOW (324) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413) 28 7 0 80.0 1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) 10 5 0 2/ 3 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) 420 334 26 55.7 2/ 2 THE DOGHOUSE (188) 9 5 0 3/ 4 THE DOGHOUSE (188) 343 423 9 44.8 3/ 4 I BENT MY WOOKIE (413) 2 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + pauses "Hold!" Arenamaster Vasku said. Everyone in the room froze, even the Things which were emerging from Le Plume's inner chamber. "A situation confronts us which is more dire than anything conjured up with the aid of the Accursed Tome," Vasku said. "It requires our immediate and complete attention." The Kali-Flower, which had disintegrated into several Kali-Florets, began creeping toward the outer door. Vasku pointed his red-shining blade at one of them. "You, too, must hear and assist," he said sternly. To the standbys, he said, "I call you to witness that while we have addressed this problem, a greater one has beset our arena: the number of active teams has declined steadily. It may be that this is a secondary effect of Le Plume's unhallowed conjurations, or it may have some other cause, but we MUST discover--" "That's the Commission's problem," Torranz protested. "What can WE do about it?" "An answer must be found," Vasku said, "lest this arena be closed!" "Nothing wrong with that," Sleeth said. "It'd give us all a chance to rest and look into this business of the sigils." The arenamaster whirled on Sleeth, looking more demonic by the moment. "Not so! The arena itself is a sigil of stability, and if it ceases to operate, this whole area may lose coherence. A Thing more or less would THEN be meaningless." Dacio Torranz had not gotten the post of Ambitious Guard for a lack of courage. He faced the arenamaster squarely. "Still, what can WE do? We're at the mercy of the managers." SPY REPORT It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report. Sit back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis. Hey everybody, watch out for PORN 'STACHE, who flew up 17 points in the rankings after mashing CHICHI-HOOEY like a melon. Keep your eye on this guy. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. CHICHI-HOOEY was overcame by PORN 'STACHE and drops 3 points. Unlike most arenas, I WET MY BED! managed to get its challenge off against the 25-10-0 THE THING. It's a proud day for the THE DEATH SQUAD stable, as their warrior, THE THING, ascended the Duelmaster's throne. Can you believe they are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff? But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle! Did you hear that THE DEATH SQUAD was most avoided team this week? Well, knowing the personal hygiene of THE DEATH SQUAD's warriors, I'm not surprised! Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch I BENT MY WOOKIE's act in the arena. Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from THE DEATH SQUAD. And who is this BOWSER you ask, with 93 points and a 18-38-1 record. Ooh, the tales I could tell! Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the most interesting, though! Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no. Silly buggers, eh? Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in TOBIR have no sense of humor. Or maybe that they were senseless. C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks. And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME THE THING 4185 26 10 0 111 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME VISIGOTH 4214 20 12 0 108 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) HAYWOOD JAB 4238 12 6 1 99 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) BOWSER 4096 18 38 1 93 THE DOGHOUSE (188) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ANDILLIA 4255 9 6 0 56 THE DOGHOUSE (188) WOOFER 4254 10 5 1 48 THE DOGHOUSE (188) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PORN 'STACHE 4276 1 3 0 20 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CHICHI-HOOEY 4270 3 5 0 14 THE DOGHOUSE (188) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? PERSONAL ADS Visigoth -- I salute you for a battle well-fought, and I wish YOU could be Duel2Dude. Oh, well, at least the bed-wetter is leaving, too. Finally. -- Juno Dead Man Walking -- So, you're out of here, eh? Good luck and a good footpath to you, then. -- Bowser 'Stache -- Women tell me they like the way it tickles when you kiss 'em. Maybe I should grow one...what do you think? Would I look good with a mustache? -- Chichi- Hooey Cheerful Fan -- You might grin a little less when the Killer Tomatoes come for you. -- Andillia The Delarquan Sailor was just trying to get away to the harbor and get out of here. He wasn't going to try to help us fight the Demonic Veggies at all! I call that mean-spirited of him. -- Woofer Ed. -- Sticks and Bones, to think that we're prisoners in a world run by paranoid deities! -- Bowser What other explanation is there? -- Ed. 7 June 2005 I am in the process of moving house, and spotlight writing for the next two months will be very hit-and-miss. -- the Scribe 27 June 2005 ATTENTION ALL YOU ALLIANCE-TYPE PEOPLE: For the purposes of tourney newsletter alliance listings (when I am able to do them), you may only be listed in ONE alliance. In other words, you have to choose! If you are a part of Englebert's Alliance and Englebert's Alliance is "part" of Ruthrauf's Alliance, I will list you EITHER as part of Englebert's Alliance OR as part of Ruthrauf's Alliance, NOT both. The default would be the top-level alliance, Ruthrauf's, in this example. If you'd rather be listed separately, let me know and I will do so, but that will be the only listing you get. -- The Saint, keeper of ever- more-complicated lists LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS I WET MY BED! was unbelievably bested by THE THING in a 5 minute Challenge fight. HAYWOOD JAB handily defeated BOWSER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match. PORN 'STACHE vanquished CHICHI-HOOEY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. DEAD MAN WALKING overpowered VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fight. VISIGOTH devastated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute uneven brawl. WOOFER defeated DELARQUAN SAILOR in a 3 minute veteran vs. amateur struggle. ANDILLIA handily defeated DELARQUAN SAILOR in a 3 minute uneven fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 25 - 10 - 1 71 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 4 - 0 64 | |AIMED BLOW 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 9 - 6 - 0 60 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 TOTAL PARRY 7 - 5 - 0 58 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 12 - 1 48 | |STRIKING ATTACK 1 SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 6 - 0 45 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 BASHING ATTACK 4 - 5 - 0 44 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 AIMED BLOW 5 - 7 - 0 42 | |SLASHING ATTACK 0 WALL OF STEEL 3 - 5 - 0 38 | |BASHING ATTACK 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 518 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: AIMED BLOW 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 PARRY-LUNGE TOTAL PARRY 1 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 2 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK 1 AIMED BLOW 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY THE THING 4185 26 10 0 111 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) PARRY-LUNGE VISIGOTH 4214 20 12 0 108 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) LUNGING ATTACK HAYWOOD JAB 4238 12 6 1 99 THE DEATH SQUAD (63) AIMED BLOW ANDILLIA 4255 9 6 0 56 THE DOGHOUSE (188) PARRY-RIPOSTE WOOFER 4254 10 5 1 48 THE DOGHOUSE (188) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is VISIGOTH 4214. The most popular warrior this turn was THE THING 4185. The ten other most popular fighters were HAYWOOD JAB 4238, VISIGOTH 4214, ANDILLIA 4255, PORN 'STACHE 4276, WOOFER 4254, BOWSER 4096, CHICHI-HOOEY 4270, 0, 0, and 0. The least popular fighter this week was CHICHI-HOOEY 4270. The other ten least popular fighters were BOWSER 4096, WOOFER 4254, PORN 'STACHE 4276, ANDILLIA 4255, VISIGOTH 4214, HAYWOOD JAB 4238, THE THING 4185, 0, 0, and 0. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: VISIGOTH (14-4214) THE DEATH SQUAD (63) The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: I WET MY BED! (14-4052) I BENT MY WOOKIE (413) DEAD MAN WALKING (14-4220) THE DEATH SQUAD (63) MAIL-IN TOURNEY XXXIX ADM TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME ZERO THE HERO 4129 (22-9-1) 4 3 0 THE DEATH SQUAD ROOKIES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME RAVAGED RILLION 4266 (0-0-0) 2 3 0 BLOOD BROTHERS ADM FOOLS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME BEAVIS 3996 (22-18-4) 6 2 0 THE DEATH SQUAD CHALLENGERS FOOL TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME MICHAEL PALIN 2750 (7-2-0) 0 3 0 MONTY PYTHON CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME I WET MY BED! 4052 (10-2-0) 0 3 0 I BENT MY WOOKIE HOLD THE DATES! (FACE-TO-FACE XXXV AND XXXVI) Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis! Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005. It will be at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy. The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. See you there! Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe! Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006. It will be held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as last year by popular request. Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool. The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation soon before the block is released! (This is prime season for Phoenix, and several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.) Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. We hope you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!