DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/26/2006    Duedate: 07/08/2006

TOBIR ARENA

DM-14    TURN-544

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MITOCHONDRIAC
BIO WARFARE (439)
(14-4333) [14-5-0,149]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MITOCHONDRIAC                  THE VIEW
BIO WARFARE (439)              WON'T SEE TV (404)
(14-4333) [14-5-0,149]         (14-3983) [1-0-1,32]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CYTOPLASMIC                    CYTOPLASMIC
BIO WARFARE (439)              BIO WARFARE (439)
(14-4309) [15-20-1,80]         (14-4309) [15-20-1,80]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WON'T SEE TV (404)          74
2. BIO WARFARE (439)           36      PLAYPEN (435)
3. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          28      Unchartered Team
4. PLAYPEN (435)               11
5. FOREIGN LEGION (445)         0      WON'T SEE TV (404)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*WON'T SEE TV (404)         3   1  1 75.0   1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     10  5 0
 2- 1*FOREIGN LEGION (445)      22  11  0 66.7   2/ 5 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        8  7 0
 3/ 2 PLAYPEN (435)             65  44  7 59.6   3/ 2 BIO WARFARE (439)         7  7 0
 4/ 3 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     467 378 29 55.3   4/ 3 PLAYPEN (435)             6  9 0
 5/ 4 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       393 495  9 44.3   5- 4*FOREIGN LEGION (445)      4  2 0
 6/ 5 BIO WARFARE (439)         64  90  5 41.6   6/ 0*WON'T SEE TV (404)        3  1 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Binkie, I must say when I saw that weapon you were carrying I was concerned, but
after that first fifteen seconds I knew it was in the bag.

I apologize for not writing a column last turn.  As a Duelmaster I should address all
warriors in this arena, even those who might not want to hear me run my mouth.  Isn't
it said a woman runs her mouth like an outboard motor?

Since Sippycup Sam and Woofer are both getting their invites to ADM I will not
challenge anyone.  Who knows what these two are planning; a fight in the dark or a
challenge up to me.  Either way I am here and planning to stay.

Mitochondriac
Your proud Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail TOBIR!  Warriors of the arena, prepare to be praised and blamed for your 
deeds.  THE DOGHOUSE stable has parlayed this turn's 4-1-0 into a 3 space move up the 
rankings.  This brings them up to 2nd place.  Good work, guys!  On their very first 
turn, WON'T SEE TV had a 3-1-1, and with this kind of luck or skill, should do well.  
Welcome to TOBIR.  And let's see, ENCLOPLASMIC fought LITTLE DEVIL and gained 27 
points and contributed to BIO WARFARE's 2-2-0.  The attempts to dethrone the 
Duelmaster have failed, and MITOCHONDRIAC remains TOBIR's top warrior for another 
turn.  Tell me, is nothing sacred?  I have heard from unimpeachable sources that The 
Victory Tavern uses trolls in their stew.  Talk about gristle!   
     The crowd's roar, the smell of iron and leather, mixed with sweat, what more 
could a warrior ask of life?  Well, besides that.  The most challenged warrior this 
turn was THE DOGHOUSE's warrior CHICHI-HOOEY.  More fighters challenged him than 
challenged the Duelmaster!  In a brave attempt, SHLEPROCK from THE DEATH SQUAD 
challenged up 22 points to fight WHITE FANG from the THE DOGHOUSE stable.  SHLEPROCK 
perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he lost to WHITE FANG and ended up with 45 
recognition points.  BURNT OUT HIPPIE of THE DEATH SQUAD had better have a good 
reason for challenging down 8 points in a challenge which he lost.  I thought BURNT 
OUT HIPPIE showed great skill and promise when he was subdued by GERBENT.  All right, 
so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  THE VIEW must have surprised WON'T SEE TV this turn, after they sent her to 
the Dark Arena, but the Dark Arena couldn't hold her!  Is it really true that TOBIR 
has more dishwashers per capita that fighters?  Just thought I'd ask...   
     I like this place, TOBIR, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  Well, I'm burning daylight here in TOBIR and I've a long 
road ahead of me.  Happy Trails.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to paper-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MITOCHONDRIAC 4333           14   5  0   149       BIO WARFARE (439)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BINKIE 4298                  15   6  2    96       PLAYPEN (435)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIPPI TURTLE 4351            11   4  0    86       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 CYTOPLASMIC 4309             15  20  1    80       BIO WARFARE (439)
 TANTRUM 4285                 11  11  2    78       PLAYPEN (435)
-GOLGI APPARATUS 4342          7   4  1    74       BIO WARFARE (439)
 ANDILLIA 4255                16  25  0    73       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 WHITE FANG 4353              11  11  0    68       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHICHI-HOOEY 4270            12  22  0    62       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
-ITALIAN STALLION 4399         8   0  0    58       FOREIGN LEGION (445)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ENCLOPLASMIC 4307             4   2  0    55       BIO WARFARE (439)
 LITTLE DEVIL 4359            15   5  0    50       PLAYPEN (435)
-DANISH PASTRY 4400            5   3  0    50       FOREIGN LEGION (445)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAMPER PACKER 4284           10  12  0    48       PLAYPEN (435)
-WONG WAY 4389                 5   2  0    48       FOREIGN LEGION (445)
 CRACK BABY 4279               7  11  0    47       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 SHLEPROCK 4376                4   3  0    45       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 GERBENT 4401                  3   4  0    40       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE VIEW 3983                 1   0  1    32       WON'T SEE TV (404)
 SPONGEBOB 4367                3   7  0    26       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BWUCE REE 4388                3   1  0    23       FOREIGN LEGION (445)
 ALLY MCBEAL 3980              1   0  0    21       WON'T SEE TV (404)
 FELICITY 3981                 1   0  0    20       WON'T SEE TV (404)
-MAGINOT LINE 4393             1   3  0    19       FOREIGN LEGION (445)
 BURNT OUT HIPPIE 4402         4   1  0    18       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 E COLI 4343                   2   5  0    13       BIO WARFARE (439)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MOUNTAIN TROLL 509     0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          THE VIEW 3983         544 NONE    
ROSIE 3984             0  1 0 WON'T SEE TV 404      TRUSTWORTHY SCRIB 496 544 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Keeper of the lists -- Please amend my team to reflect my managerial name.  Xerxes
died a little while back outside of Jhans, and I assumed that all knew I took over
all teams within Alastari. -- Joseph G. Wellington, a.k.a. JGW, manager of Bio
Warfare

     Sorry about that!  Perhaps it happened while I was out of town.  At any rate,
     I've corrected my list, so this shouldn't happen again! -- The Saint, keeper of
     lists

Street Legal -- Very good challenges and a hearty salute to you for having the team
on the move honors.  I look forward to many more turns against you here in Tobir. --
JGW

Kat -- I wouldn't fret much.  I am assuming Mitochondriac will be an immortal
challenger for the upcoming Face to Face tournament.  Good show to you, sir. -- JGW

Cytoplasmic -- I don't understand this "golem" business.  You look like a person.
But you don't smell like a person, so what am I supposed to do?  I mean, there's one
way that a good dog like myself deals with people, wagging the tail and stuff like,
and then there's the way to deal with machines, such as chasing them down the street
barking.  But what do I do with a machine that looks like a person?  I'm a DOG.  This
kind of heavy thinking is not my job. -- Woofer

Sipplycup Sam -- Gosh, the urge to take your sippycup and ram it up your--  (deep
breath)  You're cute, but cute doesn't cut it with me, okay?  Let's not meet again.
-- Andillia

Little Devil -- It seems very PROPER to bite you.  A good watchdog type response, you
know? -- White Fang

Shleprock -- That shlurping sound you make is disgusting.  Any dog would run away at
that. -- Chichi-Hooey
P.S.  Barking madly the while, of course.

That Scribe may be Trustworthy, but he doesn't TEACH.  So what's the point? --
Gerbent

6 June 2006
To those involved, no, I have not abandoned your stories.  But I've been letting them
drift, and that has to stop, so I am taking the time to make sure that I know where
they are going, more than just "what happens next" dreamed up on the fly, before
resuming work on them.  No new stories will be started until at least one of the old
ones has concluded, for the same reason:  quantity can't substitute for quality.
Your patience in this matter is appreciated. -- the Scribe

20 June 2006
Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire
Our newest Dark Knight disrespected?!?!?!  ARE THEY SERIOUS?!?!  If at all possible,
let's get over to 31.  I'm on the way.  Let's get 'em. -- Dark Knight Osiris

26 June 2006
To those interested, G.E.C.K.O., Inc, is looking for able-bodied warriors to embark
on a dangerous mission.  Those interested (or for more details) diplo me at:
Juice, DM 93, mgr. Arena Masters, Inc -- Juice

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THE VIEW butchered MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TIPPI TURTLE unbelievably bested CYTOPLASMIC in a exciting 7 minute Challenge duel.
CRACK BABY was savagely defeated by CHICHI-HOOEY in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
SHLEPROCK was viciously subdued by WHITE FANG in a 2 minute gory Challenge fight.
BURNT OUT HIPPIE was demolished by GERBENT in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
MITOCHONDRIAC won victory over SIPPYCUP SAM in a 1 minute master's Title fight.
WOOFER beat TANTRUM in a 2 minute master's brawl.
BINKIE overpowered ANDILLIA in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
LITTLE DEVIL was vanquished by ENCLOPLASMIC in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
PAMPER PACKER unbelievably bested AMBITIOUS GUARD in a popular 5 minute gory duel.
SPONGEBOB overpowered E COLI in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
ALLY MCBEAL overpowered CONVINCIAN HERO in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FELICITY devastated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
ROSIE was savagely slain by TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a popular 2 minute amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     23 -  11 -  0      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  12 -  1      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         TOTAL PARRY       15 -  10 -  0      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         LUNGING ATTACK    17 -  18 -  1      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW        12 -  18 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         BASHING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 544 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  4         4  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    MITOCHONDRIAC 4333         14   5  0  149 BIO WARFARE (439)
STRIKING ATTACK  BINKIE 4298                15   6  2   96 PLAYPEN (435)
TOTAL PARRY      TIPPI TURTLE 4351          11   4  0   86 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
AIMED BLOW       LITTLE DEVIL 4359          15   5  0   50 PLAYPEN (435)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CYTOPLASMIC 4309.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CYTOPLASMIC 4309.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHICHI-HOOEY 
4270, TIPPI TURTLE 4351, WHITE FANG 4353, THE VIEW 3983, CRACK BABY 4279, BINKIE 
4298, MITOCHONDRIAC 4333, SPONGEBOB 4367, ALLY MCBEAL 3980, and FELICITY 3981.

The least popular fighter this week was PAMPER PACKER 4284.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were E COLI 4343, LITTLE DEVIL 4359, BURNT OUT HIPPIE 4402, ROSIE 
3984, ENCLOPLASMIC 4307, ANDILLIA 4255, TANTRUM 4285, GERBENT 4401, SHLEPROCK 4376, 
and FELICITY 3981.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

LITTLE DEVIL (14-4359) PLAYPEN (435)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

WOOFER (14-4254) THE DOGHOUSE (188)
SIPPYCUP SAM (14-4280) PLAYPEN (435)