Date   : 06/09/2008    Duedate: 06/21/2008


DM-14    TURN-595

This Weeks Top Honors


(14-4213) [13-9-3,109]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STEWART                        POSITION IS EMPTY
(14-4213) [13-9-3,109]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ECHANOSARAH                    WESTON
THE DOGHOUSE (188)             OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
(14-4490) [19-19-0,101]        (14-4137) [15-11-2,76]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)     22
2. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          21      OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
3. NO-HALF STEPPING (451)      18      Unchartered Team
4. ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)      1
5. CHESS PIECES (464)           0      MASTER OF DOOM (390)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  291 190 22 60.5   1/ 1 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)  11  4 0
 2/ 2 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)  298 230 19 56.4   2/ 3 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)   9  6 0
 3/ 3 NO-HALF STEPPING (451)    58  55  5 51.3   3/ 2 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        8  7 0
 4- 4*CHESS PIECES (464)         1   1  0 50.0   4/ 5 NO-HALF STEPPING (451)    3  2 0
 5/ 5 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       527 614  9 46.2   5- 4*CHESS PIECES (464)        1  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #7 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the Isle of the Eye:

     "Four steps and we're lost," Senator Sedalia muttered.  "This is worse than
     "They do say that the Isle is larger than the Lake and touches other waters,"
Gissanniah answered.  "What do we do?  Just start walking until we get somewhere--
     "It may come to that, but I'm not ready to give up yet."  The senator looked
around again.  "Hmm.  How about if I stand still, right here, and we hold hands--no,
that might not give us enough distance."  He undid his necktie and handed one end to
his companion.  "I'll stand here and hold my end, you go out to the farthest end of
the tie and your arm--no fear of it breaking, silk is very strong--and walk around me
in a wide circle.  We haven't come so far as all that.  You should be able to reach
the edge of the woods at some point on that circle.  Then you stand still and tug on
the tie until I join you."  Of course, it was possible that the edge of the woods was
no longer four steps away, or that any edge they found would be the one they'd come
from.  You could never tell, with magic.  But since neither he nor Gissanniah could
do anything about those possibilities, the senator saw no point in mentioning them.


     "That's a big fire," Lenpro said.
     Fandil squinted ahead.  It was certainly a lot of smoke.  "Maybe... they're
burning brush in the fields before planting?" he suggested.
     "Late in the season to plant."
     "It's been a wet spring, planting has been delayed in a lot of places."
     "Maybe," Lenpro said, "but that smoke is rising over the city of Tarrgir.  It
might be buildings burning, instead of brush."
     "If that's so, perhaps we can help them put the fire out," Fandil said.  He
urged his horse to a faster pace.
     "If they want the fires put out," Lenpro muttered.  "I have a feeling about


     Herlas backed up two steps before he even thought about it.  "You can't parade
that golem through the streets and claim it's the king!"
     Hesselbod raised his eyebrows.  "Of course we can."  He gestured at the golem
who stood obediently, dressed in royal garments and awaiting a command.  "The artist
who modeled the face and figure has caught the appearance of the last king quite
well, the artificer who constructed the golem was the best Lord Korneth could hire,
and with your magic to cast a glamor over the whole, no one will doubt that this
truly is the king."
     Herlas gaped in silence for a moment, stunned by the magnitude of Lord Korneth's
ambition and of the royal scribe's misunderstanding.  "The best illusions will not
fool everyone," he said, "and without illusion, that is obviously a golem.  You'll
have a firestorm of outraged citizens--"
     "That is not your concern," Lord Korneth said coldly, entering the room.  He
dismissed the scribe with a flick of his eyes.
     Herlas turned to face him squarely.  He was not afraid of Korneth of Sengir, who
had come from nowehre and styled himself Chief Minister of Andoria, but he was deeply
wary.  There was too much unknown about this man for anyone to feel relaxed around
him, starting with where Sengir might be found and what Korneth wanted with the
Andorian states.  Herlas had thought, originally, that Korneth was driven by a simple
ambition to rule.  Ambition, he could understand, and as the man was no magician,
their goals should not conflict.  Now, though... he wasn't sure.  Ambition, yes, but
not simple.  "Why not produce the real king?" he asked.  "Even drugged or enspelled
to be your puppet, he would be more convincing than that golem."
     Korneth's lip curled in a sneer.  "The 'real king' no longer exists, and he was
pathetic to begin with."  He dismissed the point with a wave of his hand.  "And it is
not your concern.  Do not think to usurp authority to question or command.  Your only
business is to do as you are told.  In this case, to cast the glamor."

On the Isle of the Eye:

     Sedalia waited, holding one end of his tie and turning slowly in place.  He was
fairly sure he was still in the same place.  And beginning to suspect that he had
made more than one complete turn.  Blast these trees!  They all looked alike.
Somewhere out of sight, Gissanniah hesitated.  Not the first time.  What was she
seeing?  The young woman was observant and intelligent, but he wanted to be seeing
for himself.  Still, he shifted his grip to accomodate another turn, she was the more
nimble of the two of them and better suited to dodging around trees.
     Two definite tugs.  The signal.  Senator Sedalia began to follow his silk tie
through the trees.


     Half the city was in flames.  The two managers sat their horses on the rise at
the edge of the river valley, looking down at smoke and ruin.
     "At this point, there isn't a thing we could do," Fandil said.  He shook his
head.  "Not even with magic.  They seem to have it under control--not spreading
further, at least--but I can't imagine how it spread so fast!"
     "Arson," Lenpro said.  "Fires started in several places at once."  He squinted
down at the city.  "Looks like the Military Academy was about in the center of the
burned area; it's all gone now."
     "I don't understand how people can do that," Fandil muttered.  "Arson--blind
     Lenpro was silent for a long moment, then started his horse forward and down the
slope.  "Maybe not so blind," he said over his shoulder.  "If someone wanted to
destroy the Andorian League, it looks like there's been a good beginning made."
     Fandil urged his horse to catch up.  "Just burning down the Academy won't--"
     "And driving a wedge between the Aruaki and the normal humans," Lenpro reminded
him.  "And more things, I have no doubt, that we haven't found yet."
     "Who would want to destroy the League, and why?" Fandil demanded.  "Surely even
the Delarquans or the Karnhorns wouldn't--"
     "Why not?" Lenpro asked.  "And there are probably other enemies out there that
we don't happen to know about."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 595): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 594): GINKOR of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 587): CHUCKER ISTTA of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 584): MORLIN POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 583): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 580): CALONYMUS of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 576): PRIVATE PERNA of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 546): LON CHANEY JR. of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 537): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 528): BANNIR PARK of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): PAINFUL PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 430): DIMAGGIO oF 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 480): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): THE ANIMALS (The Zoo Keeper, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 595): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 594): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 587): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 584): MEDAL OF HONOR F3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 583): BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 580): GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 576): RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 546): MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 537): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 528): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 430): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 480): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): HAMMURABI of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 594): WALK THE LINE of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 594): MOLYNEUX of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 587): CHUCKER ISTTA of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 586): JEROME OF KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 583): MIRESSEA POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 576): PRIVATE PERNA of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
             (turn 575): FENCE POST of RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 243): IGOR MALMORT of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     I don't know what to do with someone whose name is Lrb.  I can't even pronounce
it.  Even Arenamaster Vashku can't pronounce it.


                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon TOBIR, for I, 
Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  THE DOGHOUSE had cause to celebrate, after MISS MUTT 
got 20 points by beating MUN OVER BOARD.  A certain someone should cut down on the 
drinking and practice more, after losing 16 points to MISS MUTT.  (Discrete enough, 
MUN OVER BOARD?) The arena was more crowded than usual this time, as STEWART faced 
TOBIR's Duelmaster.  In TOBIR, nothing is permanent (except Death), and we find 
ourselves a new Duelmaster, STEWART.  So who was the warrior seen charging into 
immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter. 
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights!  Like a horde of jackals fleeing from 
the lion, so did the "warriors" in TOBIR avoid NO-HALF STEPPING.  The warriors of 
NO-HALF STEPPING found their efforts at combat frustrated as OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 
apparently had more important things to do than fight.  Them's the breaks, 
ECHANOSARAH.  Expecting fair challenges from OTAGO HIGHLANDERS is evidently too much 
to ask.  MOLYNEUX defeated ECHANOSARAH with a point difference of 20.  So this is 
what TOBIR calls a duel.  This will make an interesting tale.  As a confidence 
booster, WESTON challenged WHOLE MUTT, down 20 points.  Do you also slay vicious 
rodents in your spare time, WESTON?  WESTON will have to start challenging legless 
old maids next, as he was defeated by WHOLE MUTT.  Good show, WHOLE MUTT!   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Ask not a spymaster 
for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an unconscious 
     Leave me now, you base fools!  My fingers tire and I fear my incessant prattling 
may cause unfair judgement upon my impeccable character.  Like a mixed metaphor, and 
an overtaxed simile, I now bid TOBIR farewell-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STEWART 4213                 13   9  3   109       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ECHANOSARAH 4490             19  19  0   101       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 LRB 4488                     11   9  0    93       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHOLE MUTT 4516              14  15  0    87       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 GINKOR 4515                  17  12  0    86       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 WESTON 4137                  15  11  2    76       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MISS MUTT 4557                6   1  0    66       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 MINUTE MUN 4545               9   4  0    59       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITTLE BIG MUN 4559           5   0  0    55       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 MUN OVER BOARD 4219          10   6  1    44       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 GEORGE FOREMUN 4187          11   9  0    42       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 MR FANG 4550                  5   3  0    42       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TWO BUCK CHUCK 4558           2   0  0    26       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
 BOMBAY 4519                   3  16  0    25       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANZAC 4560                    2   2  0    23       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
-CODECRACKER 4518              2   4  0    10       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
-KNIGHT 4551                   1   1  0     8       CHESS PIECES (464)
 RAIN MUN 4561                 1   0  0     6       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 BIGGER THOMAS 4532            0   1  0     3       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Molyneux -- You Otagonians are tough.  Ouch. -- Echanosarah

Weston -- You are SOOO anti-dog, you must be a Cat Person!  Horrors. -- Whole Mutt
P.S.  Actually, it's too hot to work up a proper indignation.

Mun Over Board -- You could at least loan me your flotation device. -- Miss Mutt

George Foremun -- I hate bossy humans.  Couldn't you, umm, just forget to show up or
something? -- Mr Fang

Our congratulations to Molyneux. -- Jorja and The Doghouse pack

31 May 2008
Any and all who live in the 805 area, I would like for you to call me so we can get
together for BBQ's, softball games, and so on.  It has been a while since the last
get together (several years).  It was a blast and I am sure the next one will be
also.  We just have to do it.  All alliances are welcome.  Just because my warriors
leave your warrior beaten and bloody in defeat does not mean we can't have a beer or
five together.  I'll even buy the first round.  So call 805-588-3419 and ask for Dave
a.k.a. Misfit, former member of the Green and Purple Polka Dot Alliance (GAPPDA).

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STEWART devastated GINKOR in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
MOLYNEUX unbelievably bested ECHANOSARAH in a 2 minute expert's Challenge battle.
WESTON was unbelievably bested by WHOLE MUTT in a 3 minute master's Challenge brawl.
LRB demolished NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
MUN OVER BOARD was vanquished by MISS MUTT in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
GEORGE FOREMUN was savagely defeated by MR FANG in a 3 minute bloody brawl.
LITTLE BIG MUN savagely defeated THE HONEST MERCHANT in a 4 minute gruesome melee.
MINUTE MUN viciously subdued CIVILIZED CRIMINAL in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
BOMBAY lost to TWO BUCK CHUCK in a 3 minute duel.
ANZAC overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BIGGER THOMAS was viciously subdued by RAIN MUN in a 2 minute brutal novice's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -   1 -  0      92  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -   1 -  0      83  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   15 -   7 -  2      68  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW         8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK     7 -   4 -  1      64  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   3 -  0      63  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         TOTAL PARRY       13 -   9 -  0      59  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  33 -  1      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   3 -  0      25  |

Turn 595 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  5         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  STEWART 4213               13   9  3  109 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
AIMED BLOW       LRB 4488                   11   9  0   93 NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
LUNGING ATTACK   GINKOR 4515                17  12  0   86 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
BASHING ATTACK   WESTON 4137                15  11  2   76 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
WALL OF STEEL    MISS MUTT 4557              6   1  0   66 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
PARRY-LUNGE      MR FANG 4550                5   3  0   42 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ECHANOSARAH 4490.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was WESTON 4137.  The ten other most popular fighters were ECHANOSARAH 4490, 
BOMBAY 4519, TWO BUCK CHUCK 4558, STEWART 4213, and LRB 4488.

The least popular fighter this week was BIGGER THOMAS 4532.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MUN OVER BOARD 4219, GINKOR 4515, ANZAC 4560, GEORGE FOREMUN 
4187, MISS MUTT 4557, LRB 4488, STEWART 4213, TWO BUCK CHUCK 4558, BOMBAY 4519, and 

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:


                         SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN MINNEAPOLIS!

Our summer FTF will be held in Minneapolis, Minnesota, July 18-20, 2008.  It will be 
held at the Holiday Inn Select Minneapolis/St. Paul in Blomington, MN, just down the 
street from the Mall of America, at 3 Appletree Square (952-854-9000).  Rooms are only 
$105.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy.  There is a free 24-hour shuttle from the airport
and free shuttle service to the mall; free parking, free high-speed wireless internet
in all guestrooms.  There is a large fitness center, jacuzzi, and indoor pool.  The 
rooms are blocked--ask for the "Reality Simulations" room block.  There are tons of 
restaurants nearby at the Mall, as well as a cafe in the hotel.  

Hotel info:  www.himspairport.com
Mall of America:  www.mallofamerica.com

The tournament information sheet will be out imminently.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to the tournament and that we will see you there!