Date   : 06/22/2009    Duedate: 07/04/2009


DM-14    TURN-622

This Weeks Top Honors


(14-4187) [32-15-1,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)        SAGE SOLDIERS (350)
(14-4187) [32-15-1,123]        (14-3185) [2-4-0,12]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)        SAGE SOLDIERS (350)
(14-4219) [25-18-1,98]         (14-3185) [2-4-0,12]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)     36
2. ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)     21      OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
3. NO-HALF STEPPING (451)      18      Unchartered Team
4. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          14
5. SAGE SOLDIERS (350)         -1      SAGE SOLDIERS (350)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  370 246 30 60.1   1/ 2 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  11  4 0
 2/ 2 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)  384 278 24 58.0   2/ 1 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)  10  4 2
 3/ 3 NO-HALF STEPPING (451)    74  68  5 52.1   3/ 3 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        5  9 0
 4/ 4 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       592 682 10 46.5   4/ 5 NO-HALF STEPPING (451)    3  3 0
 5/ 5*SAGE SOLDIERS (350)        3   9  0 25.0   5/ 4*SAGE SOLDIERS (350)       2  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #31 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lady Fern knew that her brothers Fandil and Lenpro were competent men, and that
they had each followed up what they considered an important point in the current
problem.  But she could not help feeling that they had, each of them, overlooked the
key to the problem, or at least the point which should have been dealt with FIRST:
the King.
     Whether the true king had died some time ago or was alive but under magical
control or any of several other possibilities, the important thing, as she saw it,
was to insure that command of the Andorian League did not fall into the wrong hands.
Yes, the causes of the problem, which Fandil thought he had a line on, needed to be
dealt with.  And yes, the secondary results of the problem such as intolerance of the
Aruaki, which Lenpro had gone out to tackle, did need to be dealt with, too.
     But the previous kings of the League had not made much effort to draw it
together into a coherent whole, and if the king failed, it would--almost must--fall
apart into its constituent parts.  Fratsfa, Convincia, Ardivent, and the Aruaki
Clanholds.  Raltumas... she shrugged.  That was probably lost.  Which, also, an
active king might have prevented.
     So she had done what seemed reasonable to her, and sent one of her Girls, the
Outcast Orchid, to Andor to find out what was going on.  It seemed so obvious.  No
magical scrying, no careful collating of reports from spies and chance travelers,
just... go and look.  She'd been tempted to make up a party drawn from several teams
here, because though her Girls were Good Girls, they were easily distracted.  But in
the end she had not.  Time enough to involve more people when she had some
information to work with.  Orchid had strict instructions not to become involved with
people along the way, just to go, see, and return to report what she had seen.  It
would have to be enough.


     Outcast Orchid leaned against a pillar along the Processional Way--whatever the
actual name of the avenue was, she didn't know or care--and waited for the King to
drive past in his carriage.  It had been a boring trip.  No fraternization with
anybody!  She understood why her manager had give that order, but it had been hard to
follow.  All the opportunities she'd passed by!  She let her eyes wander across the
crowd waiting for the king to appear.  There was a fine-looking man in the prime of
life who looked like he might know a thing or two.  And over there a young man, full
of energy, who might be a gladiator--he looked like he could hardly wait for the
king's carriage to come into view.  It was good to see someone who really cared; and
he had several more probable gladiators with him.  They must have come from one of
the Convincian arenas to see the king.  And that man over there, my, wasn't HE a cute
     A stirring in the crowd at the end of the block.  Not a cheer, but....  No, she
couldn't say what it was, exactly.  She wasn't good at finding words for stuff like
that.  Not exactly excitement, but greater attention.  Focus.  Probably the king's
carriage.  Or at least the head of the procession.
     Yes, here they came.  Guards.  Fine looking men, really fine.  Very serious,
practically stone-faced, but they were on duty, after all.  Then ordinary men in
fancy clothing.  Lesser members of the government, she guessed.  Some of them looked
like nobles, and some reminded her a LOT of Commission officials.  A bureaucrat
doesn't change from office to office.  More guards, looking more tense.
     "I was against this," a man beside her muttered.  "I told them from the
beginning that it would be better to keep it simple."
     She turned to look at him.  Oh, my, really cute!  Dark and gloomy, looked like a
poet.  She could have FUN with a man like that, but... she had her orders.
     "You think the parade is a mistake?"
     "That, too.  The more they bring their 'king' out in public, the more chance for
people to see that something's wrong.  But they have insisted on displaying... him.
No, it's this that's going to happen next.  I advised against it.  I did!  But they
WILL have their drama, and I, the gods forgive me, helped them set it up."  He shook
his head, looking more gloomy and romantical than ever.  "You should move away from
me.  I'm dangerous company."
     Orchid was going to ask him what he was talking about, but the carriage came
into view around the corner.  Okay, she could ask questions later.  Right now, her
most imperative command was to SEE.  To see the king, and report what she'd seen.
Accurately, which meant she had to pay attention here.  The carriage was moving
slowly, so she had plenty of time to observe it.
     The man on the rear seat, in the purple robes and the golden crown, must be the
king.  Who else could it be?  But she hadn't expected the crown, somehow.  She'd seen
Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa, and he didn't wear a crown.  She studied the king, if that
was him, closely.  Lady Fern would want details.  He didn't look... huh.  Not much of
anything.  Not interested in the city going past him, not bored by the parade, not
angry at something, not... anything.  Not particularly healthy, not actually sick.
He seemed so much a blank that it was disconcerting.
     "What's WRONG with him?"  She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until she
heard the words hanging in the air.  Too late to call them back.
     "Aside from the fact that you're looking at a golem with no more mind than a
puppet?  Not a thing.  As empty golems go, it's a fairly good one."
     "A... golem?"  She turned to look at the man beside her.  "Then what happened to
the KING?"
     He shrugged.  "Nobody who's talking knows."
     He took her arm gently and turned her back toward the parade.  "Watch this."
His voice was grim.  "Watch closely, not just the 'king', and see if you can spot the
flaws.  Someone needs to know, besides me."
     Orchid focused on the carriage again, then began to look at the people closest
around it.  The neatly arrayed ranks of guards had gotten out of step and out of line
when they turned the corner back there.  Surely guards knew how to handle corners?
But they were being slow to reorganize their ranks.  The group she'd identified as
almost certainly gladiators--half a dozen of them--surged forward.  To protect--  No!
They were ATTACKING the king!  She stood for a few seconds in stunned disbelief, then
shook herself together and took a step forward.  She had to protect--
     The grip on her arm tightened, holding her back.  "No, lady, don't throw your
life away for nothing.  That is not the king, it was never the king, and this
'assassination' was arranged by--  Better, probably, if I don't tell you.  They sniff
out guilty knowledge like pig sniffing truffles.  Take what you have seen and get out
of town as quickly as you can without attracting suspicion.  Tell people--it's
important that people know what really happened here--"
     "Come with me," she said.  "You're in danger, too, aren't you?"
     "Yes, but I put myself in the path of--"
     A scream cut off his words.  She looked back.  The words of so many spy reports
ran through her head:  Blood on a purple robe may stain.  That robe was badly
stained.  But it was the gladiator-assassins who were screaming as the guards closed
around them and cut them down.  Cut them into pieces.  The pavement was awash with
     The grip on her elbow dragged her back into the concealment of the milling
crowd, then into a side street.  "Come away, lady, while you still can."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): ZENITH of Z GLADIATORZ (? , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 622): CARMEN ELECTRA of GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS (Weasel, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): GEORGE FOREMUN of ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 611): LORMIN GARDE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): AMARANTH of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (Sage, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 564): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 555): ANNA BEATRICE of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 454): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR J3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 507): WORKS 4 EVIL EMPIRE of SUPERIOR FATHER (Manager, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 622): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 611): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 573): MEDAL OF HONOOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 564): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 555): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 454): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 211): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 507): SUPERIOR FATHER et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 309): CONCUSSION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               MOCHA MONKEY of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 620): MR FANG of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 606): SUZETTE CREPPAY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 601): LITTLE ROCKY of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): ROBERT DUNLAP of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 210): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail TOBIR!  Warriors of the arena, prepare to be praised and blamed for your 
deeds.  It seems the training can make the difference, as ALL THE MUN'S MEN is pushed 
out of top team by OTAGO HIGHLANDERS, who came from 2nd with a 5-0-0 this turn.  And 
let's see, TYNE fought VIRGINAL CONCUBINE and gained 17 points and contributed to 
OTAGO HIGHLANDERS' 5-0-0.  MY MUN FRIDAY has lost to PITCH, falling 8 points, while 
helping make ALL THE MUN'S MEN a 3-2-1 turn.  Defending his title for another turn, 
GEORGE FOREMUN kept THE DOGHOUSE's warrior, FLOORMAT, from claiming the throne.  By 
the way, was that our Duelmaster that I saw last night, cramped under the table at 
The Victory Tavern?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS has cause to stand 
tall, as they were TOBIR's most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team 
to beat.  And avoiding OTAGO HIGHLANDERS more than any other team we find SAGE 
SOLDIERS.  TOBIR, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  Is it really true that TOBIR has more dishwashers per capita that fighters? 
Just thought I'd ask...   
     I like this place, TOBIR, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep 
your swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets 
to paper-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GEORGE FOREMUN 4187          32  15  1   123       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANZAC 4560                   21  10  2   107       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUN OVER BOARD 4219          25  18  1    98       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLOORMAT 4577                10   8  0    87       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 TYNE 4584                     7   3  2    84       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 TWO BUCK CHUCK 4558           9   4  0    69       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PITCH 4572                   13  11  0    58       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HELENA 4578                   9   8  1    49       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 KATMUNDU 4588                 4   0  1    47       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 MY MUN FRIDAY 4585            5   2  0    46       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PENRICH 4590                  3   0  0    20       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 BIGGER THOMAS 4532            3   2  0    16       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
 LT KERRI STRUG 3185           2   4  0    12       SAGE SOLDIERS (350)
 JUST BORN 4575                1   1  0     9       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
 YELLOW DOG 4587               1   4  0     7       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 BARR 4595                     1   1  0     7       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 CPT BEN PIERCE 3182           1   3  0     6       SAGE SOLDIERS (350)
-MR. IMPACT 4570               1   2  0     5       NO-HALF STEPPING (451)
 BROWN BEAR 4596               1   0  0     5       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 MUN-O-WAR 4594                0   1  0     1       ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
 BUSTER 4597                   0   1  0     1       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
AMBITIOUS GUARD         0  0 0                      KATMUNDU 4588         622  NONE
CODECRACKER 4518        3  5 0 NO-HALF STEPPING 451 DARK CHAMPION         622  NONE
LADY NIP 4571           8 14 1 THE DOGHOUSE 188     GEORGE FOREMUN 4187   620   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hmm, I note that with the graduation of Mr Fang, this team enters the category of
"teams from which all ten styles have been graduated."  I will admit it isn't quite
the thrill it was the first time, but still.  Good cess. -- Jorja

Mun Over Board -- Humans are weird.  But I can promise I didn't push you, although I
did jump in afterward, because what dog wouldn't want to get into the water on a hot
day? -- Mr Fang

Tyne -- You dwarves are strange, almost as hairy as me! -- Floormat, a quintessential
shaggy dog

My Mun Friday -- That's so human of you.  We dogs don't care what day of the week it
is. -- Pitch

Lt Kerri Strug -- Mean, aren't you? -- Yellow Dog

Arenamaster Vashku -- But what if I want lands?  My very OWN territory, you know?  I
think I'm probably being discriminated against. -- Mr Fang

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CODECRACKER was barely slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
GEORGE FOREMUN devastated FLOORMAT in a 1 minute one-sided Title duel.
ANZAC handily defeated TWO BUCK CHUCK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MUN OVER BOARD won victory over KUNG-FU MASTER in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
TYNE overpowered VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HELENA viciously subdued DELARQUAN SAILOR in a 3 minute veteran vs. amateur duel.
MY MUN FRIDAY was bested by PITCH in a 1 minute competition.
KATMUNDU assassinated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute uneven melee.
BIGGER THOMAS won victory over YELLOW DOG in a 2 minute duel.
LT KERRI STRUG lost to PENRICH in a action packed 5 minute gruesome fight.
JUST BORN defeated CPT BEN PIERCE in a 3 minute novice's fight.
BARR overcame BUSTER in a 1 minute novice's bout.
MUN-O-WAR was narrowly defeated by BROWN BEAR in a 2 minute amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   0 -  0     100  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   3 -  0      75  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    30 -  18 -  4      63  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY        3 -   2 -  0      60  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW         9 -   6 -  2      60  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK   18 -  15 -  1      55  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -  10 -  0      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         WALL OF STEEL      3 -   4 -  0      43  |

Turn 622 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   GEORGE FOREMUN 4187        32  15  1  123 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (423)
SLASHING ATTACK  ANZAC 4560                 21  10  2  107 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
STRIKING ATTACK  FLOORMAT 4577              10   8  0   87 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
AIMED BLOW       TYNE 4584                   7   3  2   84 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
BASHING ATTACK   PITCH 4572                 13  11  0   58 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
PARRY-LUNGE      HELENA 4578                 9   8  1   49 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MUN OVER BOARD 4219.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was LT KERRI STRUG 3185.  The ten other most popular fighters were HELENA 4578, 
4590, CPT BEN PIERCE 3182, BARR 4595, MUN-O-WAR 4594, and ANZAC 4560.

The least popular fighter this week was BUSTER 4597.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were JUST BORN 4575, TWO BUCK CHUCK 4558, FLOORMAT 4577, KATMUNDU 4588, MY 
MUN FRIDAY 4585, GEORGE FOREMUN 4187, BROWN BEAR 4596, PITCH 4572, TYNE 4584, and 
ANZAC 4560.