DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/17/2004    Duedate: 04/30/2004

WILLAF ARENA

DM-16    TURN-484

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ANTEZEL
WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
(16-4988) [15-10-1,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ANTEZEL                        POSITION IS EMPTY
WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)          
(16-4988) [15-10-1,123]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

AMBROSIUS                      ORAN JI
BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)         PUNNY AMINALS (305)
(16-5158) [14-11-0,79]         (16-5299) [9-9-1,53]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PUNNY AMINALS (305)         26
2. WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)       15      BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)
3. YAMABUSHI (432)             10      Unchartered Team
4. BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)       6
5. MARGANA MAET (463)           0      FORCES OF EVIL (557)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*FORCES OF EVIL (557)      13   7  0 65.0   1/ 1 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)    12  3 0
 2/ 2 BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)    62  37  4 62.6   2/ 3 PUNNY AMINALS (305)       9  6 0
 3/ 3 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)     85  63  2 57.4   3/ 5*FORCES OF EVIL (557)      4  1 0
 4- 4*MARGANA MAET (463)         7   6  0 53.8   4/ 4 BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)    4  5 0
 5- 6 HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (454)  88  80  4 52.4   5- 7*MARGANA MAET (463)        2  4 0
 6/ 7 YAMABUSHI (432)           85 103 10 45.2   6- 2 LUST MUPPETS (188)        2  5 0
 7- 8 LUST MUPPETS (188)        63  79  0 44.4   7/ 6 YAMABUSHI (432)           1  5 1
 8/10 PUNNY AMINALS (305)      351 528 14 39.9   8/10 THUNDER CLAP (543)        0  6 0
 9/11 THUNDER CLAP (543)        21  36  1 36.8   9-11 HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (454)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #79 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Near Barikala:

     The pillar of light over Barikala was not an attack in any obvious way, but
Artemisia found no comfort in that.  It was probably magical.  No, it was definitely
magical.  No one had been able to explain it in the months, the years since the
Invasion, but they'd figured out that early on.  Well, what else could it be?  And
it, or something connected to it, was deadly dangerous, because no ship or single
visitor had returned from Barikala after the pillar first appeared.  Those ship
captains who normally used Zukal's port had long since worked out the limits of
safety in the waters around Barikala, and The Golden Moon was well outside that 
limit.  But...the zombies were something new on the chart.
     A man screamed behind her, along the ship's other rail, and she whirled.  There
was movement beyond the rail, black on near black, hard to make out.  Lanterns lit
the ship's deck but cast no significant light beyond it.  She could see one of her
sailors staggering toward the rail with some kind of dark cable wrapped around the
middle of his body, but not what lay beyond and pulled him.
     She didn't need to see.  She crossed to that side of the deck, her cutlass
whistling down on the cable.  The blade bit, but not deeply, the cable was more
rubbery than a normal rope.  It wasn't a rope, of course.  She saw with disgust
rather than fear that it was a tentacle, though what creature would have a tentacle
four inches thick at any point was not something she cared to think deeply about.
The Lady Protector hacked downward again.
     There were more cries.  Fear, loathing, terror.  More tentacles reaching up and
over the ship's side.  Tentacles on one side of the ship, zombies on the other.
Neither group of sailors could abandon their own task to aid the other.  Both
attacking forces were stronger than Artemisia had expected.  She began to wonder if
her crew and her ship would survive at all.

Niatoli Island:

     Lord Protector Ghenis walked along the waterfront of the island's only real town
and looked over the shipping on hand.  He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he
figured he'd know it when he saw it.  Some people might have taken him for a tourist
and considered robbing him, or selling him the kind of trash that hustlers always
sold to strangers and rubes, but...not here.  This town had an arena, and they knew
that kind of walk, that assured and dangerous stance.  He could be a hick with hay
growing out his ears, but as long as he was a Lord Protector, no one would mistreat
him so.  At least, no one but another Lord Protector.  And since he wasn't such a
hick....  He smiled, a baring of his teeth that drove human rats out of his path.
     Ah.  There was a man on the street ahead of him, talking to a probably ship
captain.  A man who, like himself, was unmistakably a Lord Protector.  Tall, hard,
maybe not quite human, although Ghenis couldn't put his finger firmly on the
difference.  Something in the way he stood, maybe.  Not that it matter.  This looked
like a man he could work with.
     When the man turned away from the sailor, Ghenis was there, nodding his head in
a move as close to a bow as he ever got.  "I'm Ghenis, from Zukal," he said, and
raised a questioning eyebrow.
     The other frowned.  Odd, at this close distance, he seemed almost...scaled.
"Agro, Lapur," the man said shortly.
     Ghenis noted that the sailor was moving away, clearly dissociating himself from
the two gladiators.  "I have control of a ship," Ghenis said, "and I am minded to
make a raid on the invaders at Monuntial.  You look like a man who might be
interested in that."
     Agro's frown deepened, but he smiled, baring pointed, over-large teeth.  "I'm
interested," he agreed.

Rocanis:

     Lady Protector Eleven Blade, Leven to her friends, stood on Spirit Ridge and
stared southward.  What should have been rolling, increasingly arid grasslands to the
distant horizon was now a bank of...fog, maybe.  Dark, sharp as a wall at its base,
the top of it working like porridge boiling in a pot.  And no more than fifteen miles
away, probably less.  Ten.  "I've never seen anything like it," she admitted.
"Strange weather...if it is weather."
     "It's partly weather," her companion said slowly, "but not entirely."  He was a
Lord Protector from Morya, Ghost Dancer by name.  "I have been studying it for two
months now.  It began...I don't know where.  Somewhere in the far south.  It was a
hundred miles south of here when I first saw it."
     Leven glanced at the man sharply.  She didn't really know him, but there was
nothing in his face or manner that suggested he was lying.  "It's moved ninety miles
in two months?  At that rate, it could be on Rocanis within a week!"
     "Its speed is irregular," Ghost Dancer said.  "Some days it moved scarcely a
mile, other days it raced north like wildfire.  But yes, it could be on Rocanis...
any time."  He was silent for a moment, as though debating whether he should say
more.  With a faint shrug, he went on, "I have not been able to find an end to the
line of it and get around behind.  I have no idea what lies behind in the ground it
has already covered.  But I would not expect to find anything really GOOD where that
has passed."
     Obviously not, Leven agreed silently.  The unknown never seemed to be
benevolent.  It was probably a natural law.  "You couldn't get around an end," she
said.  "Did you try going straight through?"
     Ghost Dancer paled a little.  "Yes," he said very quietly.  "I survived, but I
didn't get very far into it.  Or I would never have come back, I think.  It was like
being caught in a whirlwind, in part.  But I was not the only thing in the grip of
the walking storm, and the others were....  Some of them were beasts, mad with terror
and striking blindly.  Others were," he hesitated, "things.  The sort of things a
priest of the Mytori might call out of the Darkness."
     "Do you believe it's a natural phenomenon?" Eleven Blade asked.
     "No."
     "Good.  If it's unnatural, it was made by men.  Or something like men, anyway.
And what men can make, they can undo.  Let's find out how, and then...undo."

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                  Free Blades Edition

Zuwayza:

     Tiberious, newly made a Lord Protector in Aljafir, looked at the capital city of
the Glorious Empire with curiosity and unease.  While he was a citizen of the Empire
in good standing, he was also a Dwarf, and the races which weren't strictly human
were regarded with suspicion throughout most of the Empire.  Especially here at its
ancient heart.  He hadn't wanted to come here.  But a new law ruled that all Lord
Protectors desiring a grant of lands or other honors must apply to the Great Palace
of the Satrap for them, and he WAS a Dwarf.  He would not lightly forego this portion
of the reward for which he had striven so long and at such risk.  He took a firmer
grip on the battle axe which custom required all Dwarves to carry and strode up to
the Western Door.
     Decent metal work, he noted professionally.  To be honest, excellent metalwork,
although he could not (and this surprised him) even guess at the source.  It was
unlike anything he'd seen before, not the work of Elf or Human, and certainly not
Dwarven work.  He was an educated man, in the Dwarven sense, and he would KNOW.  Very
old, you didn't get that kind of patina on bronze in a day, not even if you employed
an alchemist.  He leaned closer, trying to make out the individual symbols that
formed a tangled whole on each panel.
     "Too close a study of those doors can be injurious to your health."
     Tiberious whirled, raising the axe automatically.  But the speaker was an old
man in the long robe of a Karnhorn scholar, no threat unless he was a wizard.  On
closer look, it seemed like he probably was a wizard.  There was something about the
eyes that marked them, as though they saw things that others couldn't.  Probably they
did.  "If the doors are so dangerous, why use them?"
     "Because of the danger, perhaps, but mostly because they are old, and old things
lend a legitimacy to what is younger."  The old man shrugged slightly.  "You are a
gladiator, I think?"
     "Right, from Aljafir, come to see about my Lord Protector grant."
     "Good!  I am Vekhirn, chief wizard to the Satrap, may his days be long, and I
have need of a gladiator."  He gestured, and the door swung open.  "Come into my
sanctum, and I will explain what must be done."

Chimlevtal:

     Lord Kinnishan, ruler of Chimlevtal, looked up from a litter of reports as his
chief adviser entered the study.  "If it's more about the assassination plot--"
     "No, that is grave enough, but we have other problems," Shau'nin Snowbeard said.
"Deeper ones, perhaps, in the long view.  Have you seen the Ruin Reef lately?"
     The shipping hazard known as the Ruin Reef lay two miles off shore to the
southeast from Chimlevtal.  It was a rocky barricade just below the surface of the
lake (most of the time).  When the water was clear, or when wind and waves exposed
them, the rocks could be seen to resemble a line of ruined buildings, but without a
closer examination that was normally possible, no one could say if that was a true
seeming.  There were natural formations that could give that appearance.  The Reef
was visible from Chimlevtal in good weather, but not from this room.  Without
comment, Kinnishan got up from the desk and went out onto the balcony, peering
southward past the end of the building.
     Shau'nin didn't follow him; he already knew what was to be seen.  "It would
appear that the Reef actually is formed on ancient ruins.  Or was."
     "It would appear," Kinnishan said grimly, "that they are ruins no longer.  I
presume you have a report from closer observation?"
     "Some gladiators are investigating now," the old Adantri said.  "Others are
traveling to Arvat and Zukal, even to Monuntial, to discover the faces behind the
assassination plot.  We should have information soon."
     "And then we will have to make plans.  I will not lose this city-state to the
forces of Chaos, come what may."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 489): B. TRAYOR of LETTER BOMBS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 487): KNOTHEAD of BLOODSUCKERS (Way Cool, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 483): BIRDSONG of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 483): ANTEZEL of WYLDERNESS WYLD (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 482): TORLYN UNA of MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 480): BLUE of THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 240): LOONY LATEKNIGHT of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 473): BINDI of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): SYWINELL of BUSHMASTERS (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 469): LOCKED IN of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 467): KEOKOTAH of SACKETT'S & CO. (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 460): INANNA of LADY OF BATTLES (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 423): FLESHRENDER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 215): ZINDELLA AZRON of MOJO P@TROL (Master Voodoo, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 209): HONEY BEAR of THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 196): TOM SMITH DISEASE of STRANGE TUNES (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 348): TYI VELWIC of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 328): FREDDIE of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 145): CONUNDRUM of MYSTERIOUS (Mad Max, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 373): KREWKUT SAUSAGE of LINCOLNSHIRE from DAL SHANG (The
                                Sandman, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 489): LETTER BOMBS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 487): THE CITY (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 483): none
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 483): WYLDERNESS WYLD (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 482): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 480): THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 240): THE PENTARCHY (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 473): CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 469): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 467): CASINO HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 460): BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 423): THE FAMILY (Don John, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 215): MOJO P@TROL (Master Voodoo, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 209): THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 196): TEAM VIRTUE (Boy Scout, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 348): ROLE MONSTERS (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 328): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 145): PERFECTION QUEST II (Mannequin, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 373): MEOW MIX, etc. (Sylvester Frothingslosh, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 488): ALEX GRIFFIN of DREAM PARK (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 487): KNOTHEAD of BLOODSUCKERS (Way Cool, mgr.)
                           HOFFA'S BANE of SPIRITUAL GIFT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 482): ABRA-HAM! of SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (Klep, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 482): TIBERIOUS of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 240): LOONY LATEKNIGHT of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
                          IDIOTIC INDIGO of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
              (turn 239): POPPY HAMMER of FLOWER HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 473): RAGING FIRE of DEATH THREAT (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): UNCAS of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                   (turn 237): HUNGRY BONES of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 469): LOCKED IN of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 467): KEOKOTAH of SACKETT'S & CO. (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 422): FACE BREAKER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
                             NHAVARL of THE FAMILY (Don John, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 209): SUGAR CUBE of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
                               101 PROOF!! of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
                   (turn 208): UR BRAIN ON EGG of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 195): NASSE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 348): NAKHA ADIASO of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 145): CONUNDRUM of MYSTERIOUS (Mad Max, mgr.)
                            PRIZMATYK WAHL of MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
                (turn 144): LEE of GODDESSES (LHI, mgr.)
                            GAI-JIN of RISING SUN (Spawn, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

How sweet it is to defend the throne on my first defense of the title.  Surprised my
little trick worked, but here I sit.  We'll see what happens this turn.  Until then,
sleep with one eye open!

                         Antezel

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  WILLAF needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  Uncool, LUST MUPPETS.  
I mean 0-0-0 is bad.  Will they will be allowed to fight?  I say use 'em for training 
practice!  MVP award for SHOCHU?  YAMABUSHI's proud of him after beating KYSER SOZE 
and getting 10 points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  TONIUS' match with LITTLE 
DIPPER cost him a loss of 4 points!  This Duelmaster is like something else!  ANTEZEL 
stopped AMBROSIUS dead in his tracks!  Is the Duelmaster really being a real snob to 
his teammates?  Don't ask me!   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  MARGANA MAET 
was WILLAF's most avoided team.  Is there some award for that?  I don't know what 
WYLDERNESS WYLD's been doing.  They certainly haven't been accepting many fights from 
MARGANA MAET, that's fer sher.  Like, is ANYA popular, or what?  She was challenged 
the most in all of WILLAF!  She's got a 13-12-1, is that good?   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  D'ya think SHOCHU is feeling guilty for 
killing FORCES OF EVIL's KYSER SOZE, a mere boy?  Naah, I doubt it.  I see KYSER SOZE 
got killed by SHOCHU of YAMABUSHI.  Now I want to see some serious Bloodfeud action 
out there!  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear from you?  
Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  Its 
been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANTEZEL 4988                 15  10  1   123       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RACECAR 4517                  7   2  0   123       MARGANA MAET (463)
 PYOA 5090                    13   5  0    97       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 CALIAPHUS 5159               18   7  0    96       BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANYA 5160                    13  12  1    87       BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)
 AMBROSIUS 5158               14  11  0    79       BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)
 GRIZZ 5218                   12   3  0    68       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 ELESAURIS 5200                9   6  0    68       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POR Q. PINE 5149             11   2  0    65       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 O. PUN PLEEZJ 5113           10  25  0    63       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 SHOCHU 4912                   7   5  2    63       YAMABUSHI (432)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORAN JI 5299                  9   9  1    53       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-HAPPY FUN BALL 4259           9   9  0    52       LUST MUPPETS (188)
 PEACH NUTT 5298               9   9  2    49       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-UNEXPLAINED BACON 5105        6   4  0    47       HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (454)
-MEPHISKAPHELES 5361           4   1  0    46       FORCES OF EVIL (557)
-MOOT 5075                    10   3  0    45       LUST MUPPETS (188)
 KUROME 5342                   6   6  2    45       YAMABUSHI (432)
-PESTILENCE 5376               4   0  0    44       FORCES OF EVIL (557)
-YUSHIMO 5101                  9  10  1    38       YAMABUSHI (432)
 HECK S'NUTT 5337              6   9  0    37       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-KUROHANA 5128                 7   1  0    36       YAMABUSHI (432)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITTLE DIPPER 5422            3   0  0    32       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-FACE PLANT 5368               2   2  0    28       LUST MUPPETS (188)
 MALVO 5371                    3   1  0    26       THUNDER CLAP (543)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-NEVRON 5231                   5   6  0    21       THUNDER CLAP (543)
-MURDOX 5228                   5   6  0    21       THUNDER CLAP (543)
-URINAL FRESH 5099             1   4  0    20       HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (454)
 TONIUS 5229                   3   8  1    19       THUNDER CLAP (543)
 BENMAR 5227                   3   9  0    18       THUNDER CLAP (543)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BUNKO 5369                    2   2  0    10       LUST MUPPETS (188)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
KYSER SOZE 5394        3  1 0 FORCES OF EVIL 557    SHOCHU 4912           484         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Moot -- You disconcert me!  After thirty-three fights, I take a NOVICE swing?
Cheese.  Still, I won, which is good.  Very good. -- O. Pun Pleezj

Por Q. Pine -- With those quills, you don't even need a back-up, do you?  Ouch. --
Peach Nutt

Oh, Userous Merchant, pah!  I say, PAH! -- Oran Ji

Benmar -- What are you doing with a record as bad as mine? -- Heck S'Nutt
P.S.  Given your style, what's with the armor and weapons selections?  They seem
inappropriate.

Murdoch -- Bad choice of weapon there.  Does your manager have the weapon/stat
requirements chart? -- Little Dipper

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM
36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

Bookie
mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PYOA bested ANYA in a 1 minute master's Challenge fight.
ANTEZEL viciously subdued AMBROSIUS in a exciting 2 minute gory expert's Title battle.
ELESAURIS was vanquished by CALIAPHUS in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
O. PUN PLEEZJ narrowly defeated KUROME in a 3 minute bloody one-sided fight.
POR Q. PINE bested ORAN JI in a popular 4 minute duel.
GRIZZ outwaited PEACH NUTT in a crowd pleasing 8 minute bloody match.
SHOCHU assassinated KYSER SOZE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
LITTLE DIPPER viciously subdued TONIUS in a 2 minute beginner vs. veteran upset duel.
MALVO was narrowly defeated by CAPTURED ORC in a 4 minute novice's fight.
HECK S'NUTT overpowered BENMAR in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  10 -  1      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       27 -  18 -  0      60  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    37 -  30 -  3      55  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  12 -  2      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW         9 -   8 -  1      53  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   30 -  27 -  2      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         WALL OF STEEL      8 -   9 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  11 -  0      35  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  15 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  26 -  0      28  |

Turn 484 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         3  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  ANTEZEL 4988               15  10  1  123 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
LUNGING ATTACK   PYOA 5090                  13   5  0   97 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
STRIKING ATTACK  CALIAPHUS 5159             18   7  0   96 BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)
PARRY-LUNGE      AMBROSIUS 5158             14  11  0   79 BLACKHEART'S AXE (534)
TOTAL PARRY      GRIZZ 5218                 12   3  0   68 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is AMBROSIUS 5158.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ORAN JI 5299.  The ten other most popular fighters were PEACH NUTT 5298, ANTEZEL 
4988, LITTLE DIPPER 5422, O. PUN PLEEZJ 5113, KUROME 5342, POR Q. PINE 5149, PYOA 
5090, CALIAPHUS 5159, SHOCHU 4912, and HECK S'NUTT 5337.

The least popular fighter this week was BENMAR 5227.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were KYSER SOZE 5394, ELESAURIS 5200, MALVO 5371, TONIUS 5229, GRIZZ 5218, 
AMBROSIUS 5158, ANYA 5160, HECK S'NUTT 5337, SHOCHU 4912, and CALIAPHUS 5159.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

ANTEZEL (16-4988) WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
MANAGER TC'S (16-4885) IT'S JUST WRONG (511)