Date   : 09/03/2005    Duedate: 09/16/2005


DM-16    TURN-520

This Weeks Top Honors


(16-4510) [23-7-0,91]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)        D.S.M.V. (578)
(16-4510) [23-7-0,91]          (16-5588) [2-0-1,25]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

O. FISH                        O PUNCHA
PUNNY AMINALS (305)            PUNNY AMINALS (305)
(16-5482) [9-17-0,44]          (16-5531) [5-9-0,33]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)     32
2. ARENA FELINES (452)         17      GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
3. PUNNY AMINALS (305)          7      Unchartered Team
4. FUNKY FOLK (565)             0
5. KLK PARTY GAMES (575)        0      D.S.M.V. (578)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*KLK PARTY GAMES (575)      1   0  0  100   1/ 1 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  12  2 0
 2/ 3 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  327 161  5 67.0   2/ 2*D.S.M.V. (578)            5  5 2
 3/ 4 ARENA FELINES (452)      147  98  8 60.0   3- 3 FUNKY FOLK (565)          4  4 1
 4- 5 FUNKY FOLK (565)          35  25  7 58.3   4/ 5 ARENA FELINES (452)       3  1 0
 5/ 2*D.S.M.V. (578)             5   5  2 50.0   5/ 4 PUNNY AMINALS (305)       3  9 0
 6/ 6 PUNNY AMINALS (305)      424 626 16 40.4   6- 6*KLK PARTY GAMES (575)     1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Ship #3 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The trumpets blared again.  The tone was deeper than it had been the first time,
and stronger.
     Shagrath hunched deeper into his hooded cloak.  "Some poor sod has died for
that," the dwarf growled.  "What a waste!"
     "People of the True Blood go gladly to Kjarran at need," Korranjal answered.  He
pointed to the pillar of dark cloud and greenish lightning that was building over the
Temple of Kjarran.  "And you see, it's working!"  The figure that materialized had a
human torso and a head that was almost that of a bull, the lower part of its body
remained cloud.  "One of His Minions--I never thought I would be privileged to see
     Shagrath hunched deeper into his hooded cloak.  "You call that a privilege?" the
assassin growled.  "That thing's as likely to eat us as it is to attack the Black
Ship."  He had his sword in his hand and was inching along the wall away from the
sheltering doorway.
     "Where are you going?"  Korranjal tried to grab Shagrath's cloak, but the dwarf
slid farther away.  "We may be needed to help here!"
     "If the Vulture is sending His Minions, it's none of my affair," the assassin
said flatly.  "I don't mix with Minions.  And I don't care if the Black Ship does get
that courier, come down to it.  There's no one out there that's MY friend."
     "But..."  Korranjal groped for a response.  "Simple human feeling--"
     "I'm a dwarf," Shagrath reminded him.  "According to you Karnhorns, that means
I'm NOT human.  So why should I care about anyone who is?"  He snorted.  "Let the
Black Ship start attacking dwarven convoys, and I'll be just as concerned as you
could hope for."
     "Besides, I can't swim.  How could I be any help in a sea battle?"
     The Minion had naturally ignored the presence of the two Standby Gladiators on
the waterfront and sailed out over the harbor, as stately as any ship.  As it neared
the place where the two vessels were struggling, a sword, or something that looked
like one, materialized in its hand and was raised high.  Green light flowed along the
blade and dripped off it like water.  Purple-black lightning from the attacking ship
leaped to meet it.  The twisting column of light and darkness that marked the battle
between the two ships ruptured in an explosion that rocked the night.
     Korranjal reeled away until his back thumped the locked door behind him.  For
several minutes, he was effectively deaf and blind.  A vice gripped his arm, dragging
him sideways.  He stumbled and tried to hold back, but the grip was unbreakable and
the strength behind it great enough to move even his solid six-foot-four.  He became
aware of a voice bellowing from a great distance and shook his head.
     "We have to get away from here!" the voice commanded.  "The damned ship is
spilling demons all over the place!"

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Ship #4 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Near Willaf:

     Lady Protector Goldenrod didn't like rowboats.  Oh, no doubt they were fine in
their place, no doubt they had their uses, but she didn't like being out in the
strait in one.  She said as much.
     "This isn't a ROW boat," Old Gold answered, panting.  Rowing called for a lot
more stamina than a fast arena fight did, and it used different muscles, too.  He had
the sinking feeling, no, cancel that, don't want to think about sinking right now, he
had the unpleasant feeling that he was going to regret this activity tomorrow.  "It's
a, what'd'ye'callit, a fishing punch?"
     "Smack?" Chardinee asked.  For a merchant, he was doing a lot better with HIS
oar.  It seemed unfair.  "Or maybe it's a dory," he added.  "I'm not familiar with
the technical terms.  But it's all the boat the two of us can handle, so...."  He
     "It's a boat, and you're rowing it," Goldenrod stated.  "So it's a rowboat.  And
why you think the Black Ship would bother to accost a ratty little rowboat like
     "When you scream, the pirates will know there's a woman on board," Old Gold
said, grunting with exertion.  "Pirates always want to capture women."
     "And women always prefer NOT to be captured!  If you had paid more attention to
     "Let's not go into that again," Chardinee said quickly.  "The lightning was
deceptive.  What appeared to be reliable landmarks in the storm were not when we went
to check on the ground.  But we still know the general area, and Lady Peach and the
others are watching there to make CLEAR identification of the spot when the Black
Ship emerges to capture us, and they will be there when we are taken back to their
base."  The standby paused and licked his lips.  "Has it occurred to you, Old Gold,
that while the Black Ship may want to capture Lady Goldenrod, they may have no
interest in the two of us?"
     The new-made Lord Protector shrugged, but he looked uneasy.  "It's a gamble," he
muttered.  "It's the scrambled eggs thing.  You know, first you break the eggs."
     Goldenrod smiled, managing to look nasty at the same time.  "And all the king's
horses and all the king's men--"
     "Don't SAY that," Old Gold snapped.  He glanced at the dark water around them,
hoping that there were no sharks in this area.  Then at the sky, stars and a crescent
moon...and a mass of clouds boiling up out of north and spreading southward.  There
had been no clouds when they'd set out.
     "It's going to be a dark and stormy night," Goldenrod said.  She shivered.

     Lady Protector Peach Nutt leaned against a tree, which concealed her silhouette
from anyone who might be looking.  "It's clouding over," she said.  "It's going to be
hard to see what happens out there."
     "We figured on clouds," Lord Protector Fool's Gold told her.  He was sitting
nearby, giving a good impression of a boulder.  He had experience with adventures.
That he wasn't alarmed was reassuring.
     Peach's teammate, Lady Protector Moonjumper muttered something.  It sounded like
"exciting times."
     Fool's Gold laughed.  "Is there any other kind?"  A bolt of purple lightning
streaked across the sky from the headland above them to the clouds.  "Showtime!"

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Life is not so easy when one is born a 5-9-13-17-17-8-15 slasher, especially
when you start hosed in attack and with poor endurance.  I asked the great Midas if
he thought he could manage me to a Lord Protectorship, and while he was affirmative,
he did add that he thought a winning record might be a push.
     But I have worked hard and done pretty well for myself, I think.  Here I am at
17-12 (no tournaments), a Lord Protector, and a Duelmaster.  Wow!  Of course, I have
"beefed up" a little since birth--both physically and mentally.  Now I go at 8-10-13-
17-19-9-15 with master initiative, adex decisiveness, and expert attack.
     Some interesting points about my career are:
1.  Lost 3 DM fights--to Felix, Felix, and O. Pun Pleezj
2.  Weapon results
       11-63-2 with SH
       9 -31-2 with HA
       6 -66-3 with SC (lack of ST surely hurt)
    A fairly large amount of crits for one so low in attach, huh?
3.  My record against styles:
       AB = 6-1 (thank the gods for these guys!)
       LU = 2-0
       BA = 1-0
       PL = 1-0
       SL = 4-2
       ST = 2-2
       PR = 1-2
       WS = 0-1
       TP = 0-4 (dratted jerks!)
     I do know that I am off to retirement with the other 400+ Lord Protectors in The
Consortium.  It has been great.  It has been fun.  I wish you all well.  And I hope
Midas gets a better recruit than I was!  (wink)
          Old Gold

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon WILLAF, for I, 
Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  GOLDEN GLADIATORS had cause to celebrate, after POT 
OF GOLD got 20 points by beating KLEPTOMANIAC.  Win some, lose some.  Speaking of 
which, POT OF GOLD was winsome, after beating KLEPTOMANIAC and seeing him lose 12 
points.  Those who hoped for a new Duelmaster were disappointed by PUNH JENTLY, of 
PUNNY AMINALS, who despite a 11-12-0 couldn't overcome WILLAF's Number 1.  So who's 
the team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds like a 
PR stunt to me.   
     And how sociable are WILLAF's warriors?  Come, let us see.  To quell some nasty 
rumors, the guys in PUNNY AMINALS are not carrying any incurable diseases.  No need 
to avoid 'em.  Like a pup with its tail between its legs, GOLDEN GLADIATORS scurried 
away from PUNNY AMINALS.  Oh, the shame!  Is it charming personality?  Conversational 
abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, KLEPTOMANIAC is the most challenged 
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Questions are being 
raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the arena.  A certain tavern in 
WILLAF would I avoid!   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  As the seasons change, and the creatures of the 
wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  Do not despair!  I 
shall return!-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLD FILLING 4510            23   7  0    91       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CAT MAN DO 4901              14  14  1    99       ARENA FELINES (452)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FLUFFY 5060                  16   4  0    87       ARENA FELINES (452)
 PUNH JENTLY 5485             11  12  0    79       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 GOLDEN ARCHES 4984            7   2  0    67       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MARI ACHIE 5471               7   6  2    66       FUNKY FOLK (565)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LIZA LOTT 5570                5   1  0    53       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-CAT A. CLYSMIC 5074           8   7  0    49       ARENA FELINES (452)
 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY 5491       7   0  0    48       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 O. FISH 5482                  9  17  0    44       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-LUCY FURR 5527                3   1  1    43       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 KITTEN KABOODLE 5515          4   2  0    39       ARENA FELINES (452)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 O PUNCHA 5531                 5   9  0    33       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 KETL PHYSHE 5489              5  15  0    30       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 NARCOLEPTIC 5588              2   0  1    25       D.S.M.V. (578)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POT OF GOLD 5590              1   1  0    21       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
-DISAPPEARING ROCKS 5550       1   0  0    10       KLK PARTY GAMES (575)
 PURZ! 5591                    1   0  0     7       ARENA FELINES (452)
 KLEPTOMANIAC 5589             1   1  1     5       D.S.M.V. (578)
 TRISKADECAPHOBIAC 5587        1   1  0     5       D.S.M.V. (578)
 XENOPHOBIAC 5586              1   1  0     4       D.S.M.V. (578)
 NECORPIILIAC 5585             0   2  0     2       D.S.M.V. (578)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
PERSISTENT BEGGAR 520  0  1 0   1                   NARCOLEPTIC 5588      520 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Golden Gladiators -- You looked like cheap fool's gold last turn.  With our
accumulative W/L at 66.7%, you were a mere 3-2.  Poor!  In those five fights, the
only wins were three against Commission flunkies, while both arena matches were lost.
Bad!  Get with it Golden Dolts.  Get with it! -- Midas (not as proud of being Golden
Glad's manager as usual)

Punh Jently -- Your life is certainly not worthless.  You were the golden one in our
match while I was all rusted.  Salute. -- Golden Arches

Xenophobiac -- You beat me to it, and now I may never find one. -- Pot Of Gold

Pirate hunting!  I say we go pirate hunting!  Let's rescue the lovely screaming lady!
.... To the quest.... -- Old Gold

Venomous Concubine and Fratsfa Slave -- What would we do without you? -- Gold
Filling, Golden Opportunity, and Old Gold

D.S.M.V. -- Great start!  A salute to a fine team with some cool names. -- Midas of
Golden Gladiators

Punny Animals -- You probably just didn't see the model of me they prebuilt, or the
many replicas in the gift shops.  We are multi-everywhere.  We are many.  Or,
perhaps, we are nothing but a bunch of fries and Big Macs? -- Golden Arches

For those interested -- Old Gold's favorites are:  sh/mod/vlow/decise -- Midas,
Golden Gladiators

Golden Arches -- Ah, you have beautiful feet for a golem.  Perfect feet.  Perhaps you
have to BE a golem to have such pedal perfection.  Whatever, I am glad to have seen
them. -- Punh Jently
P.S.  Next time, don't come out onto the sands barefoot.

Liza Lott -- (sourly)  Yeah, you do.  Like when you stepped out on the sands and said
how "unlucky" you were feeling. -- O. Fish

Lucy Furr -- I love petting you, but you scratch so.... -- Ketl Physhe

Cult Member -- In the matter of conversion, a good argument is better than a mace.
Remember that next time. -- O Puncha

Lord Protector Old Gold -- Er, lands.  Um, there's been a little problem with the
whole "lands" business.  To wit, not enough to go around.  Would you consider sharing
with your teammate Fool's Gold?  He's got that tower out on the point, and I will say
for him, he's keeping it in good repair.  That's more than some are doing, although,
of course, I am sure that they are better employed studying to defend Alastari from
Chaos.  It's just that you can't study on the Isle and also remain a good landlord
here in Willaf, and we really can't let ALL our land end up in such a state of
neglect as, well, I won't name any names, but if you see a building or piece of land
around here in a shameful state of neglect, you can figure it's probably the land
grant of some long gone Lord Protector.  It isn't that anyone is exactly BITTER about
it--ah, who am I fooling?  We're bitter.  We're annoyed.  Foreclosure notices have
been sent out. -- Tevik Zokharj, Distributor of Lands

4 August 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen...The Announcement You Have All Been Waiting For Is Here!!!!!!!!

ZalCon3...The Rebirth!!!!!!! 

The Rules Are Simple, The Prizes Are Awesome, The Competition Fierce!

Where:  Dullens (DM13)  When:  October 8th, 2005

The Rules:
Every Manager Must DA Their Entire Team On The First Turn They Enter The Contest.
All Warriors DA'd In This Manner MUST Be At Zero FE And May Fight In The Contest If
They Live.  The Style Of The Warrior Must Be Present In The Name In A Non Ambiguous
Manner, Standard Abbreviations Accepted.  Scoring Starts On The 3rd Turn Of The
Contest Which Will Also Be The First Turn After The October Mail In.  Dead Warriors
May Be Entered From The Contest To Dead Apprentices ONLY--And With Zero FE!!!!!  All
Living Warriors May Be Entered Into Rookies or Apprentices For The October Mail In.

 1 Point For Each Win.
 1 Point For Each Kill.
-1 Point For Each Loss.
-1 Point For Each Death.

Ultimate Style Master:  Warrior Of Any Style With The Most Style Master Points.
Top Team:  Team With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
Top Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Team:  Team With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
Style Master:  Warrior With The Most Points Vs. Style In Each Style At The End Of The
Warrior Top 11:  Next 10 Top Point Gaining Warriors At The End Of The Contest.
Iron Manager:  Any Manager With 100 Fights During The Contest (20 Turns Plus 2 Pre
***Special Category*** An Additional Top Team Award Will Be Granted For Each 5 Iron
Manager Awards Starting At 6.

Ultimate Style Master, Top Team, Top Warrior:  +1 To Bonus, Damage Bump, Free Train
                                              Or Learn 2 Skills, Favorites Knowledge.
MVP Team And MVP Warrior:  20 Rollups.
Style Master:  +1 To Bonus.
Warrior Top 11:  Free Train Or Learn 2 Skills. 
Iron Manager:  +1 To Bonus.

Please Contact Zalgor Prigg Via Diplo (Armor & Weapons DM102) or Email
(zalgor@hotmail.com) Should You Have Any Questions Or Wish A Free Team Rollup To Dark
Arena On Turn 1.

Disclaimer:  All Prizes Are To Be Used On Contest Team Only And Are Non Transferable.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

POT OF GOLD devastated KLEPTOMANIAC in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
OLD GOLD won victory over PUNH JENTLY in a exciting 1 minute expert's battle.
GOLD FILLING luckily beat KHALHUMS DWARF in a unpopular 6 minute master's Title duel.
GOLDEN ARCHES overpowered O. FISH in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY unbelievably bested O PUNCHA in a action packed 7 minute brawl.
KETL PHYSHE was devastated by KITTEN KABOODLE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
NECORPIILIAC was viciously subdued by PURZ! in a 2 minute gruesome beginner's fight.
XENOPHOBIAC was vanquished by EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
TRISKADECAPHOBIAC was defeated by MALCORN INSURGENT in a 2 minute beginner's duel.
NARCOLEPTIC assassinated PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       20 -   4 -  0      83  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   3 -  1      81  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         LUNGING ATTACK    23 -  31 -  3      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW         7 -  11 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         WALL OF STEEL      3 -   7 -  1      30  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 520 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         3  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      GOLD FILLING 4510          23   7  0   91 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is O. FISH 5482.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was O PUNCHA 5531.  The ten other most popular fighters were PURZ! 5591, POT OF GOLD 

The least popular fighter this week was GOLD FILLING 4510.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were XENOPHOBIAC 5586, NECORPIILIAC 5585, KETL PHYSHE 5489, O. FISH 

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: