Date   : 12/24/2005    Duedate: 01/06/2006


DM-16    TURN-528

This Weeks Top Honors


(16-5090) [15-6-0,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PYOA                           ANOTHER ONE!
WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)          FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
(16-5090) [15-6-0,116]         (16-5510) [3-2-0,46]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SHOCHU                         SHOCHU
YAMABUSHI (432)                YAMABUSHI (432)
(16-4912) [14-14-2,92]         (16-4912) [14-14-2,92]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. POWER LEGION (579)          50
2. FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)       42      MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
3. D.S.M.V. (578)              30      Unchartered Team
4. GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)     16
5. MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)          10      POWER LEGION (579)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*POWER LEGION (579)         9   1  0 90.0   1/ 1 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  10  4 0
 2/ 2 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)         8   2  0 80.0   2/ 5*POWER LEGION (579)        9  1 0
 3/ 3 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  351 175  6 66.7   3/ 3 YAMABUSHI (432)           8  7 0
 4- 4 FUNKY FOLK (565)          39  26  7 60.0   4/ 2 D.S.M.V. (578)            6  9 1
 5/ 5 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)     89  69  2 56.3   5/ 7 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)     3  4 0
 6/ 6 YAMABUSHI (432)          133 142 14 48.4   6/ 4 PUNNY AMINALS (305)       3  9 0
 7/ 7 D.S.M.V. (578)            21  29  3 42.0   7/ 8 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)        2  0 0
 8/ 8 PUNNY AMINALS (305)      434 648 16 40.1   8- 6 FUNKY FOLK (565)          2  0 0
 9- 9*NOBLE ON FIRE (573)        8  12  0 40.0   9/ 0*FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)     2  1 0
10/ 0*FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)      5  15  0 25.0  10- 9*NOBLE ON FIRE (573)       1  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Ship #14 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

in the vicinity of Willaf:

     "Stop screaming."
     Goldenrod didn't know who had spoken, but there was such authority in the voice
that she stopped immediately.  Someone grabbed her hair and dragged upward, pulling
her to her knees.  That was amazingly painful; she was surprised her hair didn't
simply give up and let go of her scalp.  Still, it was good that it was holding her--
whatever "it" was--because she didn't think she could stay up on her own.  She felt
incredibly dizzy.  Lightheaded.  Must've been all that screaming.  She should
probably be afraid, because this didn't feel like a rescue.  But she needed to
concentrate on not fainting.  She could be afraid later.
     Lots later.  Even when she stopped being dizzy, she wouldn't have the leisure to
be afraid.  She would have to rescue herself.  Old Gold would try, she knew, but that
wasn't something she should COUNT on.  Besides, she could smite a pirate as well as
he could.
     She blinked to clear her vision.  The dizziness was passing, but everything was
still dim, barely visible behind a sort of purplish haze.  Well, duh.  It was night,
of course things were dim!  Which didn't account for the purple haze.  Probably
something magical.  How unfair!  The Bad Guys got magic, and the Good Guys had to do
without it.
     Well, too bad for the Bad Guys.  She and Old Gold and even the Chardinee were
Good Guys, so their strength was like the strength of ten because their hearts were
pure.  Um, mostly pure.  Within reason.
     She blinked again, trying to bring her captors into focus.  It didn't help, and
she finally realized that this was because her eyes were refusing to see them
clearly.  They were WRONG.  Not human, or elvish or orcs or anything she recognized,
though their shapes were ALMOST human.  As though something that had no idea what
were the critical points of the human appearance was attempting to fake it.
     One of the somethings reached toward her with what might have been a hand, if it
had bones in it.  The touch was damp and cold, rubbery, but strong--it took hold of
the front of her shirt and ripped it downward.  Something soft and slobbery moved
across her chest and belly; she could feel it pulsing.
     She screamed again, partly because it seemed to be expected of her, but mostly
because the touch filled her with revulsion.  It was as though a slug had crawled
across her skin.
     "It will do for our needs.  Bind its vocal orifice," the voice commanded.  "It
is not to scream again until it is on the altar."
     Something was wrapped around the lower part of her head; Goldenrod didn't want
to think what it might be.  She tried to struggle and her hands were dragged over her
head, bound together, and fastened to a hoist or the like that lifted her into the
air.  She had seen such hoists on fishing boats, for lifting...nets, maybe, or really
big fish.  There was a confused mutter of sound and dim flickering lights,
meaningless to her but perhaps not to her captors.
     The boat turned.  Okay, she knew that wasn't the proper word, but it's what
happened.  She tried to visualize how it was turning, because that was preferable to
visualizing what was likely to happen to her next.  Her captors were not human, and
"screaming on a altar" didn't sound like a pirate's use of a woman captive.  She
swung at the end of the hoist rope and hoped that her teammates were on the job.

     "So what if they aren't pirates?" Old Gold snarled.  "They took Goldenrod, and
we said we'd rescue her."
     "The two of us aren't enough to take on the crew of that ship, which has magic
and may not even be human," M. Kadwaldar Tisinju Chardinee said.  He winced as
another bolt of magical lightning just missed them.  "Better to make for shore if we
can and try to join up with the others, conduct the rescue along the cliffs."  He
whacked with his oar at a tentacle that groped too close to their boat.
     "Sounds like an excuse," Old Gold grunted.  He did not consider himself a hero,
but he knew how to keep his word to his teammate.  He glanced over his shoulder at
the Black Ship, then leaned into his oar, pulling hard.
     Because the Chardinee did not match his efforts, the little boat again swerved,
and again was missed by the stabbing green-purple bolts.
     But not by the two pale, wholly human hands that gripped the side.
     The Chardinee swung his oar again.
     "Wait!"  Old Gold kicked his companion, that being the easiest reaction, to make
sure he missed.  "Anyone out here in the water is probably on our side!"
     "It's a trap!" the Chardinee yelled.  He raised his oar over the hands again.
     But the grip shifted, tightened, and a head appeared, sleek with moisture, dark
in the uncertain light.  "If you smite me with your oar, Kadwaldar, I will verily
break your neck."  With a swirl and a heave, the Kung-Fu Master cleared the water and
somersaulted into the boat.  "I have attached a tow cable to the Black Ship," he
said.  "If we can avoid the lightning and the plaguey monsters, it will tow us to its
cliff-hidden haven and thus make rescuing the fair Goldenrod easier."

     Scrambling around on a cliff in a rainy night was a crazy thing to do.  No two
ways about that.  Peach Nutt wasn't sure what she'd expected "The Plan" to be, but
she was sure that wasn't--hadn't been--a part of her expectation.  They could slip on
these wet rocks--easily!--and fall into the water and drown.  Easily!  The current
was a lot faster here than she had expected, right next to the shore like this.  She
could tell it was fast because every time the lightning flashed, she saw foam and
floating debris rushing past, and no more than a yard away from her feet.  She wanted
to ask her companions to slow down, but there was no way they'd be able to hear her
over the wind and the rain and the waves and constant roaring of the storm.
     So she just pressed as close to the cliff as she could get and kept moving.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Surprise warriors of Willaf.  I, Pyoa, am back and am your new Duelmaster.
Sorry Golden Arches, but stay away from the food counter.  That food will kill you
quicker than I!  Plan on getting my invite after this next fight so decided to let
the cards lay where they may and made no challenge, no avoids either, a true


                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
WILLAF.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Coming 
up with a solid 5-0-0 outing, POWER LEGION has advanced 3 places in the rankings.  
YAMABUSHI is no joke as it posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 3rd place to 3rd place. 
Hey everybody, watch out for ANOTHER ONE!, who flew up 20 points in the rankings 
after mashing KETL PHYSHE like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some 
days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  GOLDEN BEAR was defeated by KNOWLEDGE 
and drops 9 points.  Well, everybody's pal PYOA moved hers record to 15-6-0 by 
defeating PUNH JENTLY in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 10 recognition 
points.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at 
that location.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that GOLDEN GLADIATORS was 
most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of GOLDEN 
GLADIATORS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  And you guys like to boo me?  Well, unsling 
your rasberries, cause YAMABUSHI beats feet every time GOLDEN GLADIATORS smiles at 
them.  Try farming, eh?  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, O. FISH would 
be president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  In a touching 
display by a 'touched' warrior, GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY went after SHOCHU, who was higher 
by 18 points.  Well, when the dust settled, GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY defeated SHOCHU.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Congrats to GOLDEN ARCHES for revenging the 
death of its teammate (but more importantly, feeding NARCOLEPTIC a bit of dirt).  Ask 
not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in WILLAF have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Well, there goes another Spy 
Report.  Good luck in next week's fights.  Hasta la bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat 
it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PYOA 5090                    15   6  0   116       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY 5491      14   1  0    97       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 GOLDEN ARCHES 4984           12   5  0    97       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 SHOCHU 4912                  14  14  2    92       YAMABUSHI (432)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PUNH JENTLY 5485             16  15  0    87       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-ELESAURIS 5200               10   6  0    78       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 KUROME 5342                  12  14  4    77       YAMABUSHI (432)
-AXE EM BOUT ME! 5538          6   2  0    76       NOBLE ON FIRE (573)
 KUROHANA 5128                18   7  0    72       YAMABUSHI (432)
-LIZA LOTT 5570                7   1  0    68       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 TANOSHII 5488                13   4  0    67       YAMABUSHI (432)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LUCY FURR 5527                5   1  1    65       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS 5456         8   2  0    62       MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
 POT OF GOLD 5590              6   3  0    58       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 O PUNCHA 5531                 8  14  0    57       PUNNY AMINALS (305)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GRIZZ 5218                   12   5  0    52       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 O. FISH 5482                  9  25  0    52       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 ANOTHER ONE! 5510             3   2  0    46       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
 POR Q. PINE 5149             11   5  0    44       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 NARCOLEPTIC 5588              5   5  2    43       D.S.M.V. (578)
 SCHIZOID 5594                 3   4  0    43       D.S.M.V. (578)
 KETL PHYSHE 5489              7  21  0    42       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 TRISKADECAPHOBIAC 5587        6   4  0    38       D.S.M.V. (578)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KNOWLEDGE 5610                2   0  0    33       POWER LEGION (579)
-KINDA FINE 5555               2   0  0    33       NOBLE ON FIRE (573)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FORCE 10 5529                 1   2  0    23       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
 POTENTIAL 5609                2   0  0    22       POWER LEGION (579)
 TAIKUTSU 5564                 6   3  0    21       YAMABUSHI (432)
 LIGHTNING 5611                2   0  0    21       POWER LEGION (579)
 XENOPHOBIAC 5586              4   6  0    20       D.S.M.V. (578)
 NATURE 5607                   2   0  0    18       POWER LEGION (579)
-WOOLFUREANA 5448              1   0  0    13       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 OUTAGE 5613                   1   0  0    13       POWER LEGION (579)
 GOLDEN BEAR 5602              3   1  0    11       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 SLIPPERY SUE 5508             0   5  0     9       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
-BOBO THE CLOWN 5509           1   3  0     6       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
-PEOPLE MIXER 5540             0   2  0     2       NOBLE ON FIRE (573)
 KLONDIKE GOLD 5612            0   1  0     1       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
AMNESIAC 5598          1  4 0 D.S.M.V. 578          BANDIT PRINCE 541     528 NONE    
GOLD RUSH 5592         2  4 1 GOLDEN GLADIATORS 362 NARCOLEPTIC 5588      527 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Miss Anonymous -- Thank you for the very fine free publicity.  It was so kind of you
to think of my Golden Gladiators.  Perhaps I can take you to dinner some evening to
repay the thoughtfulness? -- Midas

Narcoleptic and DSMV -- We give you great credit for your ultimate avengement of the
death of your fine warrior, Kleptomaniac.  Our now squelched and dead Gold Rush was a
9-6-17-17-7-7-21 Aimed Blow.  A salute to your tenacity. -- Midas and all The Golden

O. Fish -- I guess I get to keep the money! -- Pot Of Gold

Wow!  Kung Fu Master!?  It is not often I can drop one of his style in the first
minute.  I am proud! -- Golden Opportunity

Pyoa -- You fought the good fight and deserve to be The Duelmaster.  A salute to you
and your obvious talent. -- Golden Arches

Power Legion -- What a great score!  Well done. -- Midas and Clan

     Have you had a Golden Handshake or, for that matter, Golden Handcuffs? -- Ed.,
     who's learned way too much about corporate life

G is for grotesque, O is for outrageous, L is for lame, D is for demoniacal, E is for
excessive, N is for nit-wit.  A is for arrogant, R is for ridiculous, C is for
conceited, H is for heretical, E is for extreme, S is for simpleton.

Punh Jently -- Due to RSI's ridiculous prestige points rules, a 21-point advantage
leads to a nearly automatic victory.  DUH! -- Tanoshii

RSI -- Perhaps you could try to pay a little closer attention to the challenges
issued, for a change.  When one's challenges occur only about 20 to 25% of the time,
at best, players become rather discouraged and are then reluctant to issue challenges
at all.

Punh Jently -- Lucky boy!!  Once again, with a 17-point advantage, RSI basically
handed you the fight. -- Kurome

Axe Em Bout Me! -- Some advice for the future:  Avoid me. -- Shochu

D.S.M.V. -- Oh!  Okay, pal.  As long as I know that you want to skumbag down 15
points for a win, then stand by for the payback to come.  You just opened up a bigger
can of worms than your fledgling little behind can handle. -- Yamabushi

Liza Lott -- I don't believe a WORD of that!  Not one word.  Specifically, I don't
believe it when people say that YOU won.  It can't be true. -- O Puncha

Lucy Furr -- Some kind of cat at heart, I suppose.  (sigh)  And we all know how cats
go for fish. -- Ketl Physhe

Kurome -- I love it when I can upset expectations like that. -- Punh Jently

Pot of Gold -- I just wanted a LITTLE of your gold.  Honestly, just a little. -- O.
P.S.  It isn't like you're USING it.  It's just sitting there in the pot.

To the manager who did not sign his name (but we can guess who you are) -- Why do you
never write a personal except to complain?
     And what, EXACTLY, is the nature of your complaint against the Golden
Gladiators?  That you can't beat them?  That they scoop up the free-fight positions?
That they take the time to write friendly personals to other warriors and managers?

     This is a serious request for information.  You have now twice made vague
complaint about them.  Give us some specific reasons for wanting them out of this
arena. -- Jorja, Punny Animals

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

AMNESIAC was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
GOLDEN ARCHES vanquished NARCOLEPTIC in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud battle.
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY luckily beat SHOCHU in a 4 minute expert's Challenge fight.
TANOSHII outlasted GRIZZ in a monotonous 17 minute Challenge fight.
TRISKADECAPHOBIAC was viciously subdued by POT OF GOLD in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS devastated O. FISH in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match.
POTENTIAL unbelievably bested XENOPHOBIAC in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
GOLDEN BEAR was vanquished by KNOWLEDGE in a popular 3 minute uneven Challenge duel.
PYOA vanquished PUNH JENTLY in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
KUROME overcame O PUNCHA in a exciting 1 minute veteran's bout.
KUROHANA savagely defeated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a unpopular 10 minute competition.
POR Q. PINE was luckily beaten by SCHIZOID in a unpopular 15 minute match.
KETL PHYSHE was overpowered by ANOTHER ONE! in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
FORCE 10 overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TAIKUTSU outwaited SLIPPERY SUE in a action packed 8 minute duel.
NATURE overpowered PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a unpopular 3 minute mismatched brawl.
LIGHTNING overpowered KLONDIKE GOLD in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
OUTAGE overpowered MALCORN INSURGENT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         TOTAL PARRY       35 -  15 -  0      70  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -   5 -  2      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  20 -  1      59  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         AIMED BLOW        24 -  17 -  2      59  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL      8 -   6 -  0      57  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  12 -  0      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   8 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK     4 -  13 -  0      24  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  10 -  0       0  |

Turn 528 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         4  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   PYOA 5090                  15   6  0  116 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
AIMED BLOW       PUNH JENTLY 5485           16  15  0   87 PUNNY AMINALS (305)
WALL OF STEEL    GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS 5456       8   2  0   62 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SHOCHU 4912.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SHOCHU 4912.  The ten other most popular fighters were SLIPPERY SUE 5508, POT OF GOLD 
5590, KNOWLEDGE 5610, XENOPHOBIAC 5586, PYOA 5090, KUROME 5342, GOLDEN ARCHES 4984, 

The least popular fighter this week was TANOSHII 5488.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GRIZZ 5218, SCHIZOID 5594, POR Q. PINE 5149, KUROHANA 5128, NATURE 
5607, TAIKUTSU 5564, KETL PHYSHE 5489, GOLDEN BEAR 5602, POTENTIAL 5609, and 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

PYOA (16-5090) WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)