Date   : 01/21/2006    Duedate: 02/03/2006


DM-16    TURN-530

This Weeks Top Honors


(16-4912) [15-14-2,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SHOCHU                         LIGHTNING
YAMABUSHI (432)                POWER LEGION (579)
(16-4912) [15-14-2,108]        (16-5611) [4-0-0,42]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SHOCHU                         SHOCHU
YAMABUSHI (432)                YAMABUSHI (432)
(16-4912) [15-14-2,108]        (16-4912) [15-14-2,108]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. YAMABUSHI (432)             48
2. POWER LEGION (579)          29      MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
3. PUNNY AMINALS (305)         26      Unchartered Team
4. FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)        0
5. WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)        0      POWER LEGION (579)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*POWER LEGION (579)        17   3  0 85.0   1/ 1*POWER LEGION (579)       13  2 0
 2/ 2 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)         9   3  0 75.0   2/ 2 YAMABUSHI (432)           8  2 0
 3/ 3 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  354 180  6 66.3   3/ 3 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)   6  7 0
 4- 4 ARENA FELINES (452)      156 104  8 60.0   4- 4*FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)     4  2 0
 5- 6 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)     90  70  2 56.3   5/ 9 PUNNY AMINALS (305)       4  8 0
 6/ 7 YAMABUSHI (432)          137 143 14 48.9   6/ 7 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)        2  1 0
 7/ 9 PUNNY AMINALS (305)      438 652 16 40.2   7- 5 WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)     2  3 0
 8/ 8 D.S.M.V. (578)            21  34  3 38.2   8-10 ARENA FELINES (452)       1  1 0
 9-11*FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)      7  16  0 30.4   9/ 6 D.S.M.V. (578)            1  9 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Ship #15 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the vicinity of Willaf:

     The Black Ship was rocking or tossing or whatever sailors called it when their
boats jumped around all the time.  Goldenrod didn't like it.  Part of that was
ordinary seasickness, but mostly it was because she was still hanging by her bound
wrists from the hoist, and the motion of the boat had her swinging around like a
     Extra-ordinary seasickness, that's what it was.  Also, she felt like a piece of
clockwork, which was not a feeling she liked.  It wasn't like she was a golem!  Or
maybe she was a dowsing pendulum, except what would you dowse in the middle of the
strait?  Well, wrecks.  Or maybe reefs.  If there were reefs here.  Didn't they need
warm water?  She was pretty sure this water was cold.  But if there WERE reefs here,
there would be wrecks, too.
     As long as the Black Ship didn't become a wreck, at least, not till she got off
it.  She couldn't feel her hands at all now, but she hadn't fallen, so they were
probably still there.  There was a lot of lightning going on around here.  Constant
lighting and thunder, which made her head ache, and so much rain that she thought she
might drown even hanging right-side-up in mid air.  She had heard of bad weather,
well, she'd SEEN what she thought was bad weather.  But now she realized that she
didn't know the first THING about really bad weather.
     It occurred to her in passing that she might be hysterical, but she brushed the
thought aside.  Even if she was, so what?  She had more important things to worry
     For instance, somebody on this boat was cursing.  She didn't recognize the
language, much less the words, but she knew cursing when she heard it!  And this was
SERIOUS cursing, the kind that would stick what it hit and really meant business.
She watched in numb fascination while a bolt of lightning streaked downward, straight
toward the middle of the boat, then turned aside at the last minute and shattered a
wave nearby.
     The people on the boat, if they could be called people, were yelling at each
other.  She could barely make out the words over the crashing thunder and the weird
     "It's a trap!  We must get rid of the female!"
     "No, we need her for the altar--"
     "If we don't make it back to our haven, there will be no need for her at all.
She is the bait that caught us, and this storm is the trap!"
     "That is not possible.  Who would have the strength or knowledge to trap US?"
     "Someone does!  Better if we'd never come here."
     "But we are here, and getting home requires that we feed the demon that controls
the doorway."
     "What, feed him poisoned food?  She is the trap as well as the bait.  Nothing to
do with her will be good.  We must get rid of her!"
     "No, it is impossible even if we--"
     "It would be EASY.  The rope that holds her is tied off here.  One cut with a
knife and she is over the side.  Let her bait FISH."
     "Not even if we wanted to, and we do NOT."
     Definitely hysterical, or something, Goldenrod decided, because they were
talking about dumping her into the water, and she didn't even care.

     Old Gold waggled his oar as though unsure what to do with it.
     The Kung-Fu Master, Ongus Steel-hand, took it away from him.  "No need to row,"
he said.  "Not with the Black Ship towing us now."
     "That's unnatural," the Chardinee said.  "We're supposed to be chasing them, and
they're towing us?  That is," he hesitated, choosing his words, "that's gazebo.  It's
a violation of the natural order of chases."
     "That's what makes it work," Ongus said.  "They don't expect it."
     The Chardinee opened his mouth to reply, but Old Gold cut in first.  "The
lightning's all missing us," he said, "even though we're going in a straight line
now.  That's gazebo, if you like.  I wonder why?"
     "Ah!"  The Chardinee laid his oar across the boat from side to side so that he
could rest his elbows on it.  "Now, there you have raised an interesting question.
Consider, firstly, that the Black Ship would obviously not want to hit itself with
the lightning."
     When he didn't go on, both men nodded.
     "Very good.  Now, consider that we are currently attached to the Black Ship with
a grapple and line.  Can it be that we are now, in a basic philosophical sense--which
is the kind of thing that magic pays attention to--a PART of the Black Ship
ourselves!  Therefore, but the governing parameters of the spell that generates the
lightning, it CANNOT hit us!"
     "You're just guessing," Old Gold said.
     "Nonsense!  Pure logic--"
     "No," Ongus cut in, "it's the hand of Dannesjoh protecting us."  He thumped his
chest, where they could perhaps imagine an amulet might be residing.  "He is my
patron god, and he would not allow these Outsiders to cast their unnatural lightning
bolts at me."
     "To put your faith in gods is foolishness," Chardinee said.  "I grant their
existence, mind you!  But it is plain that they have no more interest in our doings
than we have in the day-to-day lives of...mice.  Or perhaps sheep," he added after a
moment's thought.  "They--"
     "We're going awfully fast, aren't we?" Old Gold said.
     "Nothing wrong with going fast," Ongus answered.  "Less time to anticipate
problems that might not occur.  So long as our speed in this turbulent water," he
stared up at waves like great hills, "does not result in sinking us."
     Old Gold squinted into the rain and the lightning.  "We're getting near the
cliff," he said, "and I still can't see anything.  No opening, I mean."
     "It's hidden, of course," the Chardinee said.  "We knew it would be."
     "Well, yeah, but I'd still feel better if I could see some way through.  I don't
WANT to smash into a wall of rock!  And what's become of the monsters?  They were all
over the place a little while ago."
     "You would have to mention that," the Chardinee muttered, staring around
     "For perhaps the same reason, whatever that is, they don't seem to be able to
come after us any more than the lightning," Ongus said.  "I don't mind at all.  I
never did like tentacles, and water monsters have too many."
     "Don't SAY those things!" the Chardinee snarled.  He pointed off to one side,
where something monstrous was skimming toward them.
     It lifted from the water with a smooth heave and sailed toward them, looking a
little like a cloak blown on the wind, except that it wasn't flapping.  Flat and
vaguely triangular, bigger than their rowboat.  Old Gold didn't have the words to
name or describe it clearly, but he knew it was hostile, monstrous, and intelligent
enough to do them damage.  And headed right for their little boat.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 533): PUSS of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 533): MARX of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENGROVE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 527): EXODUS of THE OLD TESTAMENT (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 525): SUE SHE of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 518): MOLLY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): AI of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 515): SINNER of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 513): LONIGAN of SACKETT'S & CO. (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 505): MORPETH of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 466): DART of WOLF RIDERS (Dr. Guts, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): HOT LIPS of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): TOTO of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 219): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 394): ZIPPER of RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 373): LION HEARTED of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): DUCKMAN of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 168): ENDU ENDU of DUDS (Amy A. Airhead, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 330): LOQUE of FACING WORLDS (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 327): TREENVA TARAL of SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 314): NATASHA of LETHAL HERITAGE (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
                                (Rillion, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 533): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 533): CULTS-R-US (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 529): POWER LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 527): MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 525): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 263): DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 518): CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 515): CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 513): THE SEWING CIRCLE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 505): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 466): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): A DEAL'S A DEAL (Applejack, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): AGE OF EMPIRES (The Historian, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 219): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 394): RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 373): FEAR FACTORY (Var, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): POSSE (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 168): DARK RUNES (Liam the Goth, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 330): CORPS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 327): SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 314): THE LEGENDS (Loch Ness, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 419): LEGIONS, etc. (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENGROVE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 528): PYOA of WYLDERNESS WYLD (Barnabas, mgr.)
                                         DAISY HAMMER of FLOWER HAMMERZ (Hammer)
                             (turn 262): WYATT BURP of DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf)
                                         YOUNG JOAN of DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 517): WENDY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): IT FELT GOOD of WHY DID I DO IT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): SHARD of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): TOTO of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 372): MUDVAYNE of FEAR FACTORY (Var, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): DUCKMAN of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
                  (turn 358): $1.25 Q-STAFF of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 326): ARNAL REDAXE of SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hmmm, I wonder.  What makes a person so grouchy that they feel the need to share
their miseries with all others?  What prompts one to lash out at the world with
anger, disdain, and jealousy? 
     Perhaps it is discomfort with oneself?  Or could it be a lack of understanding
or training in how to succeed?  Or could it be that when grouchiness was "rolled",
one threw snake-eyes?
     This is a far more important series of questions to ponder than who will be the
next Willaf Duelmaster, or what will the RUGS provide next, or how can one get
challenges and avoids to succeed.
     Perhaps all you warriors and managers of Willaf have an opinion?  I, and all my
Golden Gladiator teammates, will be anxiously looking for your thoughts.
     Good luck on the sands....
     And may all your opportunities be golden
                 Golden Opportunity, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
WILLAF brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  PUNNY AMINALS turned their 3-1-0 turn 
into a 5th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you get 
put on hit lists.  Now let's all watch YAMABUSHI's heads swell from their 4-1-0 this 
turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big shots, big talk, big deal.  Of course, we're all terribly 
impressed to see TANOSHII win a fight and gain 16 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, O 
PUNCHA beat NARCOLEPTIC and NARCOLEPTIC lost 12 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  
And it's out with the old, in with the new, as SHOCHU takes the Title and last week's 
bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but 
why am I telling you this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, WILLAF?   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  WILLAF, 
I am losing what little hope I had in you.  YAMABUSHI the most avoided team?  What 
insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And it looks like GOLDEN GLADIATORS avoided them 
the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  SHOCHU 
was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or 
feared?  Heh, heh.   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only 
shines through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Just wait 'till next time I show up 
here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Paste this one in your scrapbooks, you'll need 
the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHOCHU 4912                  15  14  2   108       YAMABUSHI (432)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLDEN ARCHES 4984           13   6  0    94       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY 5491      14   3  0    89       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 KUROME 5342                  13  14  4    86       YAMABUSHI (432)
 TANOSHII 5488                14   4  0    83       YAMABUSHI (432)
 KUROHANA 5128                19   7  0    78       YAMABUSHI (432)
-ELESAURIS 5200               10   6  0    78       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 POT OF GOLD 5590              7   4  0    76       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PUNH JENTLY 5485             16  17  0    65       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS 5456         9   3  0    62       MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
-ANOTHER ONE! 5510             4   2  0    59       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
 O. FISH 5482                 11  25  0    58       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-KITTEN KABOODLE 5515          5   4  0    58       ARENA FELINES (452)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KETL PHYSHE 5489              8  22  0    53       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-GRIZZ 5218                   12   5  0    52       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 O PUNCHA 5531                 9  15  0    52       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
-CAT A. CLYSMIC 5074           8   7  0    49       ARENA FELINES (452)
-POR Q. PINE 5149             11   6  0    45       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 LIGHTNING 5611                4   0  0    42       POWER LEGION (579)
 TRISKADECAPHOBIAC 5587        6   5  0    37       D.S.M.V. (578)
 KNOWLEDGE 5610                3   1  0    37       POWER LEGION (579)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NARCOLEPTIC 5588              5   6  2    31       D.S.M.V. (578)
 SCHIZOID 5594                 3   5  0    31       D.S.M.V. (578)
 POTENTIAL 5609                4   0  0    30       POWER LEGION (579)
 NATURE 5607                   4   0  0    26       POWER LEGION (579)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TAIKUTSU 5564                 6   4  0    22       YAMABUSHI (432)
 XENOPHOBIAC 5586              4   7  0    21       D.S.M.V. (578)
-PURZ! 5591                    3   2  0    17       ARENA FELINES (452)
-FORCE 10 5529                 1   3  0    17       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
-WOOLFUREANA 5448              1   0  0    13       WYLDERNESS WYLD (514)
 LEVERAGE 5616                 1   0  0    13       POWER LEGION (579)
-SLIPPERY SUE 5508             1   5  0    12       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
-GOLDEN BEAR 5602              3   1  0    11       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 KLONDIKE GOLD 5612            1   2  0     7       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
-BOBO THE CLOWN 5509           1   3  0     6       FORCE OF FIVE 2 (569)
 PARANOID 5615                 0   1  0     1       D.S.M.V. (578)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GOLD RUSH 5592         2  4 1 GOLDEN GLADIATORS 362 NARCOLEPTIC 5588      527 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Ahhhh, Yamabushi, now why don't you just say what is on your mind?  (chuckle)  We are
pleased to see that you stepped out of the hidden shadows and signed your personals.
For some reason, anonymous postings just seemed too cowardly for a real Yamabushi.
Good luck to you in Willaf. -- Midas, Golden Gladiators

Punh Jently -- Well, you were THERE, and I just had to try,  and...my pot runneth
over. -- Pot Of Gold

Lady Protectress Pyoa -- You fought the good fight and deserved the win.  I admit to
all that you are my better.  Salute. -- Golden Opportunity

Khalhum's Dwarf!?  I couldn't beat KH?  I guess I am not much of a gladiator after
all.  My gold is tarnished. -- Golden Arches (looking for a McRib to drown his

Slippery Sue -- You put me in my place.  I'm going "North to Alaska". -- Klondike

Punh Jently -- Thank you for recognizing my invite.  Not sure what all the
commotion's about, got randomly matched up against one of them scum and beat it down
in the beginning of the third minute, no big deal. -- Pyoa

Golden Op. -- Hooked up with the wrong one this time. -- Pyoa

Another One -- Don't have a clue what I was thinking. -- Por Q.

All -- Am already aware of what you're thinking.  I'm way ahead of your miniscule
mentalities, so don't bore me with any trivial explanations.  Try to convince me that
the moderators are running equitable contests when the primary basis of success
depends on their stupid little points system. -- Yamabushi

Posting "complaints" in the personal ads in order to "disgust the other players" is
exactly the intent here.  Heaven forbid if any of you were to take a step back and
indulge in a logic and sensibility moment.  Golly!  Wouldn't want that to happen,
would we?? -- Yamabushi

All of you -- HEY!! Wouldn't you just know it!  For me to fly butt naked to Mars and
back would be a much easier feat than getting "something DONE" by contacting that
elusive group of do-nothings known as the Commission.  It would be an easier task to
convince the likes of Fidel Castro to change his ways.  You people need to wake up
and realize just how distant the Commission is from impartial. -- Yamabushi

RSI -- Illegitimate!!  How the heck do you figure that Pyoa (16-5090) viciously
subdues Golden Opportunity in the title bout and then Golden Oppy drops into the DM
seat??!!  Did you people screw up again, or what?  The Duelmaster position should be
vacant in that situation.  I call FOUL here!  Pretty obvious who's your favorite
little team in Willaf.

Golden Oppy -- Since you have ascended to the DM position by a default screw up, I
gotta go after you, bub!  I got to challenge you for the top spot in this situation.
Just bear in mind that I'm very suspect of the moderators allowing you to weasel out
of the challenge. -- Shochu

Pot of Gold -- Well, THAT is embarrassing.  To be one-shotted by a golem!  Will I
ever live it down? -- Punh Jently
P.S.  May you go oh-and-three at the tourney!
P.P.S.  Nothing personal, but then, one can't be truly personal with a golem, can

Gluteous Maximus -- You'd think, as big as it is, I'd be able to hit you there,
wouldn't you?  And yet, no.  On the other side, yes, just ONCE, and then you
proceeded to chop me into cat's meat.  Bah, and also humbug. -- Ketl Physhe, a.k.a.
"Chopped Liver"

Kitten Kaboodle -- Listen, you're supposed to be CUTE.  Soft, weak, gentle (but
mischievous), and CUTE.  What you did out there, that was NOT cute.  It wasn't funny,
either, not even when you grabbed off five skills and ran with them! -- O Puncha
P.S.  And ideally, you should be SMALL and also female.  But definitely small.

I captured an orc.  Well, most of an orc, I seem to have trimmed it some around the
edges.  But it's an orc, right enough.  Look at those tusks! -- O. Fish
P.S.  Now what?

Yamabushi -- If you can't articulate a reason for your hostility, we will have to
imagine one for you.  I don't suppose it will be complimentary. -- Jorja, Punny
P.S.  But I've been very cynical lately.
P.P.S.  But I give you credit for protesting an uneven matchup that was in your
favor.  Usually I see only protests that result in the protester's loss.  However, if
I minded as much as you seem to, I would use the tools provided by the rules:
challenges and avoids.

30 December 2005
Just a reminder to all you online type people.  It is much appreciated if you send
your personals in PLAIN TEXT, rather than HTML or formatted text.  HAL, in his
infinite wisdom, doesn't DO formatting, which means having to unsnarl your personal
ads from bunches of extraneous...stuff.  So, if your e-mailer has a plain text
option, let it be your friend. -- Ed.
P.S.  Sometimes it's the formatted text which makes ads go astray.  Not often, but

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY was viciously subdued by SHOCHU in a 4 minute master's Title fight.
TANOSHII slimly won victory over POT OF GOLD in a popular 5 minute match.
KUROME won victory over GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS in a popular 2 minute gory master's brawl.
KUROHANA savagely defeated M. CHARDINEE in a unpopular 12 minute gruesome competition.
GOLDEN ARCHES overpowered PUNH JENTLY in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
O PUNCHA devastated NARCOLEPTIC in a action packed 1 minute one-sided competition.
TRISKADECAPHOBIAC was viciously subdued by O. FISH in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
KNOWLEDGE was viciously subdued by KETL PHYSHE in a 2 minute uneven fight.
SCHIZOID was savagely defeated by LIGHTNING in a 2 minute gruesome match.
POTENTIAL luckily beat XENOPHOBIAC in a exciting 4 minute brutal fight.
NATURE outwaited TAIKUTSU in a unpopular 19 minute conflict.
KLONDIKE GOLD subdued PARANOID in a 2 minute amateur's match.
LEVERAGE overpowered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       37 -  20 -  0      65  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  21 -  0      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         WALL OF STEEL      9 -   7 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   18 -  14 -  0      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW        21 -  18 -  1      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   6 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   8 -  0      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   8 -  0      27  |

Turn 530 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   SHOCHU 4912                15  14  2  108 YAMABUSHI (432)
WALL OF STEEL    GLUTEOUS MAXIMUS 5456       9   3  0   62 MUSCLE MEN 3 (563)
BASHING ATTACK   LIGHTNING 5611              4   0  0   42 POWER LEGION (579)
AIMED BLOW       TRISKADECAPHOBIAC 5587      6   5  0   37 D.S.M.V. (578)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SHOCHU 4912.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SHOCHU 4912.  The ten other most popular fighters were POT OF GOLD 5590, KUROME 5342, 

The least popular fighter this week was NATURE 5607.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TAIKUTSU 5564, KUROHANA 5128, PARANOID 5615, NARCOLEPTIC 5588, PUNH 
JENTLY 5485, TANOSHII 5488, LEVERAGE 5616, SCHIZOID 5594, KNOWLEDGE 5610, and