Date   : 04/12/2004    Duedate: 04/24/2004


DM-17    TURN-482

This Weeks Top Honors


(17-6288) [19-17-1,113]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

TORLYN UNA                     POSITION IS EMPTY
MIDDLE WAY (484)               
(17-6288) [19-17-1,113]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MOUSE NOYLE                    TORLYN UNA
MIDDLE WAY (484)               MIDDLE WAY (484)
(17-6252) [18-24-0,90]         (17-6288) [19-17-1,113]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KINDRED OF KAOS (213)       45
2. MIDDLE WAY (484)            14      HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475)
3. SPECIAL ED (499)             7      Unchartered Team
4. LET'S DUEL! (519)            0
5. FISH THANGS (505)            0       (169)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475) 186 146  6 56.0   1/ 1 HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475)  9  6 0
 2- 2 DELTA DOOM (492)         100  79  6 55.9   2/ 3 MIDDLE WAY (484)          6  9 0
 3/ 0 SPECIAL ED (499)         192 166  7 53.6   3/ 0 KINDRED OF KAOS (213)     4  0 0
 4/ 4 DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)  35  32  2 52.2   4- 2 DELTA DOOM (492)          4  4 0
 5- 5*LET'S DUEL! (519)         16  15  0 51.6   5- 4*LET'S DUEL! (519)         2  1 0
 6/ 0 KINDRED OF KAOS (213)    264 304 21 46.5   6- 5 FISH THANGS (505)         2  2 0
 7- 6 FISH THANGS (505)         14  22  0 38.9   7/ 7 DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)  1  3 0
 8/ 7 MIDDLE WAY (484)         163 282  3 36.6   8/ 0 SPECIAL ED (499)          0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #79 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Near Barikala:

     The pillar of light over Barikala was not an attack in any obvious way, but
Artemisia found no comfort in that.  It was probably magical.  No, it was definitely
magical.  No one had been able to explain it in the months, the years since the
Invasion, but they'd figured out that early on.  Well, what else could it be?  And
it, or something connected to it, was deadly dangerous, because no ship or single
visitor had returned from Barikala after the pillar first appeared.  Those ship
captains who normally used Zukal's port had long since worked out the limits of
safety in the waters around Barikala, and The Golden Moon was well outside that 
limit.  But...the zombies were something new on the chart.
     A man screamed behind her, along the ship's other rail, and she whirled.  There
was movement beyond the rail, black on near black, hard to make out.  Lanterns lit
the ship's deck but cast no significant light beyond it.  She could see one of her
sailors staggering toward the rail with some kind of dark cable wrapped around the
middle of his body, but not what lay beyond and pulled him.
     She didn't need to see.  She crossed to that side of the deck, her cutlass
whistling down on the cable.  The blade bit, but not deeply, the cable was more
rubbery than a normal rope.  It wasn't a rope, of course.  She saw with disgust
rather than fear that it was a tentacle, though what creature would have a tentacle
four inches thick at any point was not something she cared to think deeply about.
The Lady Protector hacked downward again.
     There were more cries.  Fear, loathing, terror.  More tentacles reaching up and
over the ship's side.  Tentacles on one side of the ship, zombies on the other.
Neither group of sailors could abandon their own task to aid the other.  Both
attacking forces were stronger than Artemisia had expected.  She began to wonder if
her crew and her ship would survive at all.

Niatoli Island:

     Lord Protector Ghenis walked along the waterfront of the island's only real town
and looked over the shipping on hand.  He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he
figured he'd know it when he saw it.  Some people might have taken him for a tourist
and considered robbing him, or selling him the kind of trash that hustlers always
sold to strangers and rubes, but...not here.  This town had an arena, and they knew
that kind of walk, that assured and dangerous stance.  He could be a hick with hay
growing out his ears, but as long as he was a Lord Protector, no one would mistreat
him so.  At least, no one but another Lord Protector.  And since he wasn't such a
hick....  He smiled, a baring of his teeth that drove human rats out of his path.
     Ah.  There was a man on the street ahead of him, talking to a probably ship
captain.  A man who, like himself, was unmistakably a Lord Protector.  Tall, hard,
maybe not quite human, although Ghenis couldn't put his finger firmly on the
difference.  Something in the way he stood, maybe.  Not that it matter.  This looked
like a man he could work with.
     When the man turned away from the sailor, Ghenis was there, nodding his head in
a move as close to a bow as he ever got.  "I'm Ghenis, from Zukal," he said, and
raised a questioning eyebrow.
     The other frowned.  Odd, at this close distance, he seemed almost...scaled.
"Agro, Lapur," the man said shortly.
     Ghenis noted that the sailor was moving away, clearly dissociating himself from
the two gladiators.  "I have control of a ship," Ghenis said, "and I am minded to
make a raid on the invaders at Monuntial.  You look like a man who might be
interested in that."
     Agro's frown deepened, but he smiled, baring pointed, over-large teeth.  "I'm
interested," he agreed.


     Lady Protector Eleven Blade, Leven to her friends, stood on Spirit Ridge and
stared southward.  What should have been rolling, increasingly arid grasslands to the
distant horizon was now a bank of...fog, maybe.  Dark, sharp as a wall at its base,
the top of it working like porridge boiling in a pot.  And no more than fifteen miles
away, probably less.  Ten.  "I've never seen anything like it," she admitted.
"Strange weather...if it is weather."
     "It's partly weather," her companion said slowly, "but not entirely."  He was a
Lord Protector from Morya, Ghost Dancer by name.  "I have been studying it for two
months now.  It began...I don't know where.  Somewhere in the far south.  It was a
hundred miles south of here when I first saw it."
     Leven glanced at the man sharply.  She didn't really know him, but there was
nothing in his face or manner that suggested he was lying.  "It's moved ninety miles
in two months?  At that rate, it could be on Rocanis within a week!"
     "Its speed is irregular," Ghost Dancer said.  "Some days it moved scarcely a
mile, other days it raced north like wildfire.  But yes, it could be on Rocanis...
any time."  He was silent for a moment, as though debating whether he should say
more.  With a faint shrug, he went on, "I have not been able to find an end to the
line of it and get around behind.  I have no idea what lies behind in the ground it
has already covered.  But I would not expect to find anything really GOOD where that
has passed."
     Obviously not, Leven agreed silently.  The unknown never seemed to be
benevolent.  It was probably a natural law.  "You couldn't get around an end," she
said.  "Did you try going straight through?"
     Ghost Dancer paled a little.  "Yes," he said very quietly.  "I survived, but I
didn't get very far into it.  Or I would never have come back, I think.  It was like
being caught in a whirlwind, in part.  But I was not the only thing in the grip of
the walking storm, and the others were....  Some of them were beasts, mad with terror
and striking blindly.  Others were," he hesitated, "things.  The sort of things a
priest of the Mytori might call out of the Darkness."
     "Do you believe it's a natural phenomenon?" Eleven Blade asked.
     "Good.  If it's unnatural, it was made by men.  Or something like men, anyway.
And what men can make, they can undo.  Let's find out how, and then...undo."

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     It just seems wrong that I will only spend one turn on Aljafir's throne.  Don't
get me wrong--I am happy to graduate.  Can you believe I actually had a losing record
for a while?  I am Judge's third slasher to graduate, but first slasher to graduate
from this fine arena.  I hope to change this trend in ADM.  I am pretty excited about
my favorite weapon, the scimitar.  I will probably fight as an immortal contender in
the tourney.  Wish me luck.

                                        Your Duelmaster,
                                                  Lord Protector Tiberious

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
ALJAFIR brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Of course, we're all terribly 
impressed to see DIRTY OLD MAN win a fight and gain 17 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, 
DIRTY OLD MAN beat KARO LEE and KARO LEE lost 11 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  
And it's out with the old, in with the new, as TORLYN UNA takes the Title and last 
week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The Vile Vizier, humph!  I've 
tasted better ale at mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  From ALJAFIR's trash 
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
ALJAFIR, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  MIDDLE WAY the most avoided 
team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And it looks like HEROESANDFOUNDONES 
avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only 
shines through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     What does the ALJAFIR arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see 
the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TORLYN UNA 6288              19  17  1   113       MIDDLE WAY (484)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CREME A. SHUN 6152           13  11  1    99       DELTA DOOM (492)
 DIRTY OLD MAN 6391            8   5  0    95       KINDRED OF KAOS (213)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOUSE NOYLE 6252             18  24  0    90       MIDDLE WAY (484)
-DARK MAGICIAN 6417            7   1  0    84       LET'S DUEL! (519)
 KARO LEE 6133                14  38  0    80       MIDDLE WAY (484)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OMG-STFU 6390                11   2  0    61       KINDRED OF KAOS (213)
 IDUN 6396                     9   5  1    61       DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POOP IN A SOCK 6389           9   3  1    56       KINDRED OF KAOS (213)
-CASS KETT 6546                5   3  0    48       DELTA DOOM (492)
-FLUFFY SCULPIN 6575           3   1  0    43       FISH THANGS (505)
 NAPOLEON 6578                 4   1  0    37       HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475)
 TABETA UNIS 6405              7  14  0    35       MIDDLE WAY (484)
 DARON EL 6414                 7  13  0    34       MIDDLE WAY (484)
-ELMER FLOOD 6574              3   1  0    34       DELTA DOOM (492)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BLOWFISH 6262                 3   3  0    33       FISH THANGS (505)
-EXODIA! 6420                  4   3  0    32       LET'S DUEL! (519)
-DA 6564                       2   1  1    25       SPECIAL ED (499)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PURPLE HEART 6590             2   1  0    23       HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475)
-LA JINN 6419                  2   3  0    20       LET'S DUEL! (519)
-ANHUR 6544                    4   6  0    18       DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)
-GREY MOUSER 6290              1   4  0    16       DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)
 GARBAGE HOUND 6571            1   0  0    13       KINDRED OF KAOS (213)
-BARRACUDA 6547                1   0  0    13       FISH THANGS (505)
-GEARFRIED 6573                2   2  0     9       LET'S DUEL! (519)
 THAT ZESTY TARD 6568          0   1  0     7       SPECIAL ED (499)
-GRACEFUL CHARITY 6586         1   1  0     4       LET'S DUEL! (519)
-TRASH 6588                    1   1  0     4       DELTA DOOM (492)
-SILKY SALMON 6537             0   4  0     4       FISH THANGS (505)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
JOSHUA 6595            0  1 0 HEROESANDFOUNDONE 475 HIGH ELF 644          482 NONE    
GHANDI 6594            0  1 0 HEROESANDFOUNDONE 475 DARK CHAMPION 649     482 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Khan -- Dog gone it, finally look like I'm going to take you out and I forgot my damn
backup weapon.  Oh well, congrats on graduating. -- Creme

Tabeta -- Gumbo, don't know about cooking it, but I can damn sure eat it! -- Cass

Pip -- Wow, your presence is overwhelming.  Dude, your teams look better in here now
than they have in a long time.  You've really slowed those losses down! -- Barnabas

Pipster -- Hope you ran this turn like you said you were, oh no, wait a minute,
that's what you've been doing, running!  Well bro, if you did don't be surprised if I
didn't whoop you down again.  I do miss all those easy wins. -- Barnabas

Judge -- Again, I ask if you don't beat Pip down to bad, need to try and keep him in
here for my guys seem to learn a ton off his guys, and win too.  Thanks. -- Barnabas

Fluffy Sculpin -- You don't look like a fish to ME.  I think you're some kind of spy.
-- Daron El, feeling paranoid

Blowfish -- May you blow up till you pop. -- Tabeta Unis

But the Kung-Fu Master would have looked GOOD buried in the sand! -- Torlyn Una

Tiberious -- Mouse hater!  You think just because you're a DWARF, you can SCARE me.
But I'm not so easy, oh, no!  I am a Mouse of COURAGE.  Step ONE FOOT into my alley,
and you're cat food! -- Mouse Noyle

Idun -- Wrong kind of apples, sorry.  Golden Delicious are just not my piece of pie.
-- Karo Lee

Trash -- I love taking out the trash. -- Purple Heart

Mouse Noyle -- You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them.  I love
taking your money at the poker table (and your cheese). -- Tiberious

Roll-up Gods -- I hereby offer up two worthy sacrifices:  Ghandi and Joshua.  May
they bring me roll-ups with wits greater than 10.  Please tell me that I will not get
two more roll-ups with starting wits of 5.  Are you guys mad at me? -- Judge

     *pointed silence* -- RUG 485

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM
36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.


mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JOSHUA was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GHANDI was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
TIBERIOUS was overcome by TORLYN UNA in a 2 minute veteran's Title match.
KARO LEE was vanquished by DIRTY OLD MAN in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
MOUSE NOYLE overpowered IDUN in a 2 minute bloody one-sided fight.
TABETA UNIS was bested by NAPOLEON in a 1 minute veteran vs. amateur upset duel.
OMG-STFU overpowered THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
POOP IN A SOCK savagely defeated DARON EL in a action packed 1 minute gruesome melee.
PURPLE HEART vanquished THAT ZESTY TARD in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GARBAGE HOUND vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -   6 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       18 -  13 -  1      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   9 -  1      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  13 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  28 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         LUNGING ATTACK    17 -  18 -  0      49  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         WALL OF STEEL      8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         AIMED BLOW         3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         BASHING ATTACK     2 -   7 -  0      22  |

Turn 482 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   TORLYN UNA 6288            19  17  1  113 MIDDLE WAY (484)
WALL OF STEEL    OMG-STFU 6390              11   2  0   61 KINDRED OF KAOS (213)
TOTAL PARRY      IDUN 6396                   9   5  1   61 DEITIES & DEMIGODS (507)
STRIKING ATTACK  POOP IN A SOCK 6389         9   3  1   56 KINDRED OF KAOS (213)
PARRY-STRIKE     NAPOLEON 6578               4   1  0   37 HEROESANDFOUNDONES (475)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MOUSE NOYLE 6252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was TORLYN UNA 6288.  The ten other most popular fighters were MOUSE NOYLE 6252, 
6590, GARBAGE HOUND 6571, GHANDI 6594, IDUN 6396, and JOSHUA 6595.

The least popular fighter this week was THAT ZESTY TARD 6568.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DARON EL 6414, TABETA UNIS 6405, KARO LEE 6133, JOSHUA 6595, 
IDUN 6396, GHANDI 6594, GARBAGE HOUND 6571, PURPLE HEART 6590, OMG-STFU 6390, and 

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: