DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 11/20/2006 Duedate: 12/02/2006 TALCAMA ARENA DM-18 TURN-549 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS THE CRUSHER NEXT GENERATION (547) (18-8050) [14-12-0,115] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader THE BIGOT BLOODRAW IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) ARENA EXPERTS (673) (18-9380) [11-5-1,124] (18-9408) [5-1-0,31] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite SMELL CAREFULLY GOOSE STREET PIZZA (106) GOLDEN LEGION (591) (18-8889) [20-26-2,108] (18-9277) [5-3-0,35] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM HELP WANTED (671) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. NEXT GENERATION (547) 39 2. GOLDEN LEGION (591) 37 HELLBOURNE (653) 3. UNTOUCHABLES (287) 36 Unchartered Team 4. HELLBOURNE (653) 35 5. RUN AND HYDE (537) 34 ARENA EXPERTS (673) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1- 1 OF WOLF AND MAN (620) 10 5 0 66.7 1/ 3 HELP WANTED (671) 9 6 0 2/ 2 HELLBOURNE (653) 74 45 4 62.2 2/ 5 WASTELAND (207) 8 2 0 3/ 3 NEXT GENERATION (547) 193 128 10 60.1 3/ 6 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) 8 7 1 4- 4 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) 95 75 7 55.9 4/ 1 BIG MEAN FISH (171) 8 7 1 5- 5 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) 118 98 5 54.6 5/ 2 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) 7 7 0 6/ 6 HELP WANTED (671) 103 93 8 52.6 6/ 9 HELLBOURNE (653) 6 0 2 7/ 7 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) 136 125 11 52.1 7/ 7 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) 6 9 0 8/ 8 WASTELAND (207) 696 643 43 52.0 8/14 NEXT GENERATION (547) 5 2 0 9/ 9 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) 711 670 34 51.5 9/13 GOLDEN LEGION (591) 4 2 0 10/10 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) 964 938 61 50.7 10/10 CAROLINA BLUE (575) 4 5 0 11/11 BIG MEAN FISH (171) 698 717 35 49.3 11- 4 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) 4 6 0 12-13 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) 119 130 9 47.8 12/11 SHEPHERDS (252) 4 11 1 13/12 CAROLINA BLUE (575) 18 20 0 47.4 13/ 8 ARROGANCE (347) 4 11 0 14/14 STREET PIZZA (106) 709 798 54 47.0 14/12 STREET PIZZA (106) 3 0 1 15-16 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) 293 343 9 46.1 15/16 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) 3 6 0 16/17 SHEPHERDS (252) 651 800 34 44.9 16/18 RUN AND HYDE (537) 3 7 2 17/18 RUN AND HYDE (537) 105 135 13 43.8 17/ 0 UNTOUCHABLES (287) 2 3 0 18/19 GOLDEN LEGION (591) 39 51 1 43.3 18-15 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) 2 3 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/ 0 UNTOUCHABLES (287) 204 274 16 42.7 19-17 OF WOLF AND MAN (620) 1 0 0 20/15*ARENA EXPERTS (673) 13 18 2 41.9 20/19*ARENA EXPERTS (673) 1 9 0 21/21 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) 85 151 7 36.0 21-20 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) 0 1 0 22/20 ARROGANCE (347) 426 758 27 36.0 22-21 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) 0 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. I have no intention of relinquishing my position as Duelmaster, in fact I plan to hold it until I travel to the Isle. With proper challenges this should be a goal easily accomplished. I must confess, the number of Aimers in the top ranks is a bit disconcerting, there was a time when managers were well rounded, and could instruct in the court of all styles, that time has passed. Now, managers are not nearly as intelligent as the man that holds the strings to my life, Den, they must load their basket with the eggs of Aimers and Lungers. Very sad indeed. Do what you will, again I still remain here, although a bit more uncomfortable as there is no throne to sit upon. My anger is as large as Suave's pool of ignorance, and repercussions must be accepted, regardless of your stature. Again, I am Duelmaster and can do what I will, and justly do exactly that. My love for children is shadowed by my love for standing beneath the full moon my body glistening with the sweat of victory. I am elegant, a model of efficiency, and a persistent gloater. Victory is sweet and sought at all costs. Come for me underlings, come and attempt to take the position from me. If you can beat me, and know a good woodworker, you can rebuild the throne and perhaps restore the history it kept. Perhaps not. Pedophile SPY REPORT If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of TALCAMA brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too. Later days, BIG MEAN FISH, since HELP WANTED took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news. Now keep the taverns open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for VINCERE AUT MORI, whose 0-0-0 this turn dropped them by 7 into 11th. Ha! NEXT GENERATION turned their 3-1-0 turn into a 8th place rank in the listings this turn. Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists. Gee, I'm impressed, a 4-0-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, WASTELAND, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are proud. Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see A'AMON win a fight and gain 28 points, terribly. Tsk, tsk, THE PHILANDERER beat MICHAEL JORDAN and MICHAEL JORDAN lost 13 points. You're breakin' my heart. Going for broke or broken, our Duelmaster THE CRUSHER challenged this turn. And it's out with the old, in with the new, as THE CRUSHER takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster. Heh, heh. Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their fights? Skill? Ha! He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward. What's the big D? STREET PIZZA was the most avoided team? Bunch of lily livered... grumble... mumble... curse... And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice? Let's see, well, whatcha know? It was NEXT GENERATION. Ha ha ha ha! Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, 'SLOSHERS was this turn's most challenged warrior. Watch that ego swell, sports fans. Looks like time for laurels or hemlock, WOLF CICHLID was challenged by UNGOOD, who was ranked 60 points below it. And The Original Arthur's Last Stand has banned WOLF CICHLID from service until next turn for losing to UNGOOD and giving it 26 points in the process! Ha! QUICKDEATH was challenged by one of HELP WANTED's warriors this turn, with LOWELL HALE having a lead of 22 points going into the fight. And sorry to say, LOWELL HALE bested QUICKDEATH, leaving a bad feeling with the crowd. I think exploitive snob is the term I'm looking for. I guess I can give a little credit to THE VOYEUR of IMPURE THOUGHTS for challenging up by 22 to DARTH SION. THE VOYEUR lost to get 37 points of recognition. And we have BUBOLA in a challenge, going down 10 points for the fight. Guess what? I thought BUBOLA showed great skill and promise when she overcame ILLFACET. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Death and Taxes. The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience. Let's see if anyone's dead or dying. RUN AND HYDE has cause to pause today, as BLUE MOON was sent to the Dark Arena, and came back--though not in the best of moods, I'll wager. And sending KIND AERON to the Dark Arena was supposed to be one of your better ideas, UNTOUCHABLES? Ya gotta go sometime, and WHET WILLIAM's time was this time. Hmmm, not a bad fighter, had he lived... (what? me pity?). Bye bye, warrior, bye bye... DOC STEELE, a glorious 9-36-0 fighter, has passed away. Gee, too bad ARROGANCE. We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later? I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for an epee. Forgive me for writing with a dagger. Well, I've had enough of this drivel, and I'm sure you have too. Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather. I see the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME THE CRUSHER 8050 14 12 0 115 NEXT GENERATION (547) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME THE BIGOT 9380 11 5 1 124 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257 14 5 0 117 WASTELAND (207) LEONIDAS 8537 17 4 1 111 UNTOUCHABLES (287) COUNT IN THE CELLAR 8404 13 6 0 109 NEXT GENERATION (547) SMELL CAREFULLY 8889 20 26 2 108 STREET PIZZA (106) 'SLOSHERS 8460 18 53 0 107 ARROGANCE (347) UNGOOD 9297 10 2 0 103 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) -DATA LOSS 8029 19 8 0 101 NEXT GENERATION (547) VISTA BLOWS 9258 13 6 0 101 WASTELAND (207) -HEXALUS 8869 26 18 0 100 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) -SOUND THE VANILLA! 9209 14 3 0 97 WASTELAND (207) -KA'ZEEN 8858 11 8 0 97 HELLBOURNE (653) THE PEDOPHILE 9382 12 10 2 91 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MARV JR 9288 6 1 0 90 WASTELAND (207) THE PHILANDERER 9384 14 9 1 89 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) CHARNEL 8575 11 5 1 85 RUN AND HYDE (537) HOFFA 8478 8 61 0 85 ARROGANCE (347) HK-47 8584 17 33 0 84 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) -PETIT TROLL BAVEUX 8978 19 8 0 82 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) WOLF CICHLID 9253 13 6 0 80 BIG MEAN FISH (171) MISSION VAO 8891 15 31 1 79 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) ENTEK 9151 11 18 0 77 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) -THE CLOSER 9187 7 3 1 74 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) FLEECE 9211 11 4 0 72 GOLDEN LEGION (591) -SOLSBURY HILL 8558 15 17 6 69 STREET PIZZA (106) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -V'DO 9051 10 9 1 66 HELLBOURNE (653) MICHAEL JORDAN 7797 8 2 0 66 CAROLINA BLUE (575) -INDENTURED OARSMAN 9167 6 3 0 65 SEA DOGS (224) ARETE 8969 6 11 1 62 UNTOUCHABLES (287) DARTH SION 9233 10 11 0 60 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) ADAMANT 8075 8 7 1 59 GOLDEN LEGION (591) -LOCO REY 9274 7 7 1 57 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -URANIUM 657 11 12 2 53 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -ZELANA 9240 5 2 0 49 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) DIZZ SCHUIER 9345 5 1 0 49 HELP WANTED (671) AKAI 9213 8 14 2 40 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) -BIG GLOU GLAIREAUX 9044 7 10 0 39 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) XYLICARE 9317 6 3 0 38 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) GAD 9239 8 12 1 37 SHEPHERDS (252) THE VOYEUR 9377 7 6 0 37 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) LOWELL HALE 9347 4 2 0 36 HELP WANTED (671) MERVYN 8750 8 6 1 35 RUN AND HYDE (537) GOOSE 9277 5 3 0 35 GOLDEN LEGION (591) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -SCAR THE BEAST 9368 4 1 0 33 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) -SHEWISH WHALER 9272 3 1 0 33 SEA DOGS (224) BLUE MOON 9373 1 1 1 33 RUN AND HYDE (537) BLOODRAW 9408 5 1 0 31 ARENA EXPERTS (673) -THORIUM 9154 3 3 1 31 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) -RAASHUB 9202 2 2 1 31 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) OAKLAND FU 9424 3 0 0 26 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) -ASTINIUS 9423 2 1 1 26 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) PICKLE BYSTROM 9344 4 2 0 25 HELP WANTED (671) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME Z'DANE 9281 4 1 1 23 HELLBOURNE (653) -SORICCA THE CRAZED 9305 4 6 1 23 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321 5 1 0 22 WASTELAND (207) GAYLAN OSBORNE 9346 3 3 0 22 HELP WANTED (671) GOLDEN BARB 9370 4 2 0 20 BIG MEAN FISH (171) ADAM 9441 2 0 1 20 SHEPHERDS (252) MESHACH 9440 2 0 0 19 SHEPHERDS (252) CRUSHING BRATZ 9153 1 0 0 19 NEXT GENERATION (547) MANAGER 9303 3 9 0 18 ARROGANCE (347) -DRARR 9276 2 0 0 18 OF WOLF AND MAN (620) BUBOLA 9319 4 5 0 17 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) ZEBRA SOLE 9444 2 0 0 17 BIG MEAN FISH (171) RAYMOND FELTON 9419 2 0 0 17 CAROLINA BLUE (575) VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421 1 3 0 15 BIG MEAN FISH (171) POND 9324 1 4 0 15 GOLDEN LEGION (591) HOFFA 9369 3 3 0 12 ARROGANCE (347) QUICKDEATH 9407 2 4 1 11 ARENA EXPERTS (673) -POOK 8492 3 1 0 10 OF WOLF AND MAN (620) -KUNG 8493 2 2 0 8 OF WOLF AND MAN (620) ROY WILLIAMS 9336 1 1 0 8 CAROLINA BLUE (575) -MERCURY 9155 1 5 0 8 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) PEACOCK FLOUNDER 9445 1 1 0 7 BIG MEAN FISH (171) POSTMORTEM 9402 1 4 0 7 ARENA EXPERTS (673) -SHEWISH CORSAIR 9237 0 1 0 7 SEA DOGS (224) THE FORNICATOR 9429 1 2 0 5 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) ILLFACET 9401 1 2 0 5 ARENA EXPERTS (673) -STROMTIUM 90 9413 0 3 0 3 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) JONAH 9428 0 3 0 3 SHEPHERDS (252) PROGIDY, DAMMIT! 9446 0 2 0 2 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) -SCORTEST 9325 0 2 0 2 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630) BLADESEDGE 9451 0 1 0 1 ARENA EXPERTS (673) BAD LIEUTENANT 9452 0 1 0 1 HELP WANTED (671) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? DOC STEELE 8890 9 37 0 ARROGANCE 347 SMELL CAREFULLY 8889 549 GHOST GOBY 9029 18 17 0 BIG MEAN FISH 171 WHET WILLIAM 9280 545 NOT REVE PANTHER GROUPER 9273 7 7 0 BIG MEAN FISH 171 V'DO 9051 547 VARIABLE 9121 17 12 0 BURN N' PILLAGE 218 CHARNEL 8575 548 THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? DONALD FORTE 9426 0 1 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575 ADAM 9441 548 CRANKY SPANKY 9453 0 1 0 CENTER FOR OLDS 108 BLACK ORC 424 549 NONE WHET WILLIAM 9280 9 5 2 CENTER FOR OLDS 108 A'AMON 8806 549 NONE HIGH ELF 423 0 1 0 DARK ARENA 0 BLUE MOON 9373 549 NONE TOWERS 9415 0 1 0 GOLDEN LEGION 591 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE BORG DRONE D000 9436 0 1 0 NEXT GENERATION 547 MOUNTAIN TROLL 422 549 NONE TRYAGAIN 9454 0 1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE SCRAMBLE 9455 0 1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE FOR THE FAMINE 9449 0 1 0 SHEPHERDS 252 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE RADIAN 9210 1 2 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287 DARK CHAMPION 428 549 NONE KIND AERON 9190 2 1 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287 AVENGING ZILTHORN 431 549 NONE ELIAS 9448 0 1 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287 DARK CHAMPION 428 549 NONE CHANTEL OROS 9329 1 3 0 VINCERE AUT MORI 626 THORIUM 9154 545 REVENGED PERSONAL ADS Big Wave Dave -- Ok, that is twice in a row that you've broken through my avoids. Time for the fool-proof avoid method.... And in the interim, I believe I'll challenge Wolf with another of my warriors and see if I can't have you hold the old maid at the end of the hand. -- Assur Talcama -- All I can say is, "WOW!" Tourney domination.... Good job to all the winners. You make this city proud! Den -- That is actually the fifth throne that has been destroyed. The chair itself is nothing. It is the position and history of those who sat there that carries meaning, something you cannot destroy. My greatest hope, though, is that you destroy the apathy of many (of which even I am partly guilty) in this fine arena and cause an uprising that hasn't been seen here for a long time. I can only hope the apathy doesn't return after you've been driven from our sands. After all, worms cannot thrive in sand, only in mud. -- Assur Michael Jordan -- Even the best lose (sometimes). Your reputation as the best precedes you. I will count myself lucky. -- Count in the Cellar Suave -- I enjoyed the compilation. Interesting death stat. I guess the long time managers in Talcama aren't your everyday killers.... -- Assur Pedophile -- You killed the best? You really believe that? If you're going for the best, you should challenge Muffy's or TUM's or Doc's guys (when they're active). 26- 25? I wasn't great. I was _old_. I wasn't even the best warrior in our stable. Somehow, I became far more Chunky than Super. Anyway...if you're under the delusion that by killing the best, you become the best, I'll stick with that line of thinking. You killed a warrior who sucked. Ergo.... -- Chunky Superdude P.S. Evidently the Commission didn't even care that you "killed" me. They're not providing a chance to bloodfeud. P.P.S. My life was yours to take? Man, you couldn't even take a chance on me if you had Abba's greatest hits. I want someone better, a real go-getter Instead of recruits always slacking What a waste of a night to be watching this fight But I see any talent is lacking His heart isn't in it, he's dead in a minute I'll go drown myself in some booze Guess I'll wait two more weeks 'til curiosity piques Hope I won't get no more D.A. blues (How many verses will it require? How many? -- Suave) Toker -- We just finished a Battle Royale. (By "we," of course, I'm excluding myself.) Why not let Hexalus hang around longer? Otherwise, you could well join me in a duet of the above song. -- Suave Suave -- I would like to welcome you to Talcama as well. Looks like you are prepared to fill the role as the aged egomaniac veteran. This is the logs of hate that build my fire, looking forward to burning you down. -- Den Toker -- You were given a shot, and lost. Maybe this turn you will get yet another shot at the title. If I can, I will kill your man, then your people can talk to my people and we shall see who has the better team. -- Den Arena Experts -- Continue the bloodletting and enjoy it all. -- Den 20 October 2006 In accordance with those rules set forth by the Lady of the Realm, I hereby announce the formation of a small group of managers calling themselves "The Outsiders". The group consists of the following members: Doc LeGrande Apex Street Legal Carnage Ghoti Roadkill Valamond This group has only one rule. Respect the play of the managers of this alliance. We have no worries about not playing by the rules set forth by others. We fight the way we like, and all those in this group appreciate what tools each manager brings. We have managers from the Delarquan, Andorian and Free Blade regions. We have managers that focus on the tournament arenas, and we have those that focus on the regular city arenas. We have those in our ranks that fight with honor and respect for all, and we have those that have a bloodlust that cannot be quenched. Our goal is simple. To create a ensemble of managers that will show their prowess in the land of Alastari, and to bring a new level of competition to all those that share the sands with our warriors. Our warriors are many throughout the land. We have no home arena. We have no pacts we abide by. Our fighters range from Mordant to Talcama, from Lapur to Lyratilan, Aruak City to Valamantis, the Primus arena to Talahya, and many more arenas throughout the land. Whether we are sought out or ignored makes no difference to us. We are what we are. We fight how we fight. And we do it however we wish. We have no rules. We have no leader or ruler. Be prepared. We are. 20 October 2006 The Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire respond thus to the Avengers of the Light: Where are you? EACH AND EVERY Dark Knight can be found in arenas 31 and 52. Your pretty words mean less than nothing if you won't fight. EVERY Dark Knight is more than willing to back up their talk. So...we give you three turns in either 31 or 52, REPEAT 31 or 52 to show up or shut up. If you don't show we'll let all of Alastari know the Avengers are indeed cowards! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire 2 November 2006 I received a Gift Certificate from someone. I'm assuming it's for entry into the Turf War 5. Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com. Thanks. 10 November 2006 The Quest of the Best has come to an end. Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest, wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners. Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the Quest. Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in the dust. Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink) Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions: 1) Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls 2) Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts! 3) Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts 4) D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen 5) Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation 6) Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders 7) D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights 8) D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights 9) The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion 10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their butt handed to them. Respect to All. Quest #1 host, Dark Knight Toker 14 November 2006 A Tale of Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution as told by Hammer the WordSmith SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the lingering wisps of memory from days gone by. From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation. Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence experience. The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times. Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities presently past and future. Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93. The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy. Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and gallantry before. Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike. History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes. Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and olden legends of times lost. [TIME JUMP] Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy, yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena! "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch Light!" Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81. Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind. From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty! Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn. Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand. Future events would lend themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for processing. Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM 28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!] Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena. After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then another group of hopefuls. After lengthy debate a third was cast aside. Deciding between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial Commission. The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney- worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager. [TIME JUMP] Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and now it was time to begin their training. The paperwork had been dispatched for registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which preparation was paramount! Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney Arena. Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red! Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No- Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly Expected!] Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his mind! When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night. These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had they fallen into the possession of most other managers! Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney Arena!] Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!] Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace! [TIME JUMP] Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting! Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81 [recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon graduation!] The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS stable managed by Sweety Pie. Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena! Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission. Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus] had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE. Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No- Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission. Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari! Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION. Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm. Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf. Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with GRIFFONRAWL MMA. Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!] Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!] Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in thought!] Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena. COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as to their intentions. Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was anybody's guess at the present time!] Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None! HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by! JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!] "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper" Hammer Minister of War LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS BLUE MOON viciously butchered HIGH ELF in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. RADIAN was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle. KIND AERON was killed by AVENGING ZILTHORN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. TOWERS was slaughtered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. TRYAGAIN was butchered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. CRANKY SPANKY was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena match. SCRAMBLE was butchered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. ELIAS was slaughtered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. FOR THE FAMINE was dealt death by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena match. BORG DRONE D000 was easily killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. THE PEDOPHILE was handily defeated by THE CRUSHER in a 1 minute Challenge Title melee. THE BIGOT vanquished 'SLOSHERS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. MARV JR vanquished HOFFA in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge fight. UNGOOD overpowered WOLF CICHLID in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. THE PHILANDERER demolished MICHAEL JORDAN in a 1 minute Challenge competition. THE VOYEUR was subdued by DARTH SION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match. LOWELL HALE overpowered QUICKDEATH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. Z'DANE defeated MANAGER in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel. GOLDEN BARB was viciously subdued by GOOSE in a action packed 4 minute Challenge duel. BUBOLA bested ILLFACET in a 2 minute Challenge brawl. ZEBRA SOLE slimly won victory over ROY WILLIAMS in a 3 minute Challenge fight. PEACOCK FLOUNDER beat PROGIDY, DAMMIT! in a 2 minute novice's Challenge match. WHET WILLIAM was easily killed by A'AMON in a 1 minute mismatched competition. VISTA BLOWS overpowered HK-47 in a 2 minute uneven fight. MR. DUTCH CRUNCH savagely defeated MISSION VAO in a action packed 3 minute bout. SMELL CAREFULLY viciously butchered DOC STEELE in a 2 minute veteran's contest. COUNT IN THE CELLAR overpowered ENTEK in a 1 minute one-sided duel. LEONIDAS overpowered CHARNEL in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel. FLEECE demolished XYLICARE in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided melee. GAD was viciously subdued by DIZZ SCHUIER in a 2 minute gruesome bout. AKAI was overpowered by ARETE in a 1 minute uneven competition. ADAMANT overpowered GAYLAN OSBORNE in a 2 minute one-sided fight. BLOODRAW won victory over CULT MEMBER in a 2 minute fray. MERVYN defeated VOLITAN LIONFISH in a exciting 6 minute gory match. HOFFA was defeated by PICKLE BYSTROM in a 2 minute bout. POND was savagely defeated by DWIGHT SCHRUTE in a 2 minute gruesome bout. OAKLAND FU demolished JONAH in a 1 minute uneven contest. THE FORNICATOR was overpowered by ADAM in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. POSTMORTEM was subdued by MESHACH in a 1 minute novice's struggle. RAYMOND FELTON overcame BLADESEDGE in a 2 minute novice's fight. CRUSHING BRATZ demolished BAD LIEUTENANT in a 1 minute one-sided conflict. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 16 AIMED BLOW 53 - 30 - 0 64 | |STRIKING ATTACK 9 BASHING ATTACK 38 - 29 - 3 57 | |BASHING ATTACK 8 SLASHING ATTACK 30 - 24 - 0 56 | |AIMED BLOW 8 PARRY-STRIKE 13 - 14 - 1 48 | |SLASHING ATTACK 8 STRIKING ATTACK 27 - 30 - 5 47 | |TOTAL PARRY 7 LUNGING ATTACK 56 - 66 - 6 46 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 12 - 16 - 0 43 | |WALL OF STEEL 5 TOTAL PARRY 40 - 68 - 1 37 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 WALL OF STEEL 20 - 37 - 3 35 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 15 - 0 35 | Turn 549 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: BASHING ATTACK 6 - 2 LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 9 3 BASHING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 1 SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 5 3 AIMED BLOW AIMED BLOW 5 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 6 2 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 4 1 SLASHING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 6 1 LUNGING ATTACK 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME BASHING ATTACK THE CRUSHER 8050 14 12 0 115 NEXT GENERATION (547) SLASHING ATTACK THE BIGOT 9380 11 5 1 124 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) AIMED BLOW MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257 14 5 0 117 WASTELAND (207) STRIKING ATTACK THE PEDOPHILE 9382 12 10 2 91 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) PARRY-RIPOSTE THE PHILANDERER 9384 14 9 1 89 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) LUNGING ATTACK CHARNEL 8575 11 5 1 85 RUN AND HYDE (537) WALL OF STEEL ADAMANT 8075 8 7 1 59 GOLDEN LEGION (591) TOTAL PARRY MERVYN 8750 8 6 1 35 RUN AND HYDE (537) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is SMELL CAREFULLY 8889. The most popular warrior this turn was GOOSE 9277. The ten other most popular fighters were MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257, VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421, SMELL CAREFULLY 8889, ZEBRA SOLE 9444, THE BIGOT 9380, VISTA BLOWS 9258, DIZZ SCHUIER 9345, DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321, BLUE MOON 9373, and DARTH SION 9233. The least popular fighter this week was POSTMORTEM 9402. The other ten least popular fighters were THE FORNICATOR 9429, JONAH 9428, POND 9324, HOFFA 9369, AKAI 9213, XYLICARE 9317, CHARNEL 8575, ENTEK 9151, HK-47 8584, and WHET WILLIAM 9280. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: 'SLOSHERS (18-8460) ARROGANCE (347) The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: A'AMON (18-8806) HELLBOURNE (653)