Date   : 11/20/2006    Duedate: 12/02/2006


DM-18    TURN-549

This Weeks Top Honors


(18-8050) [14-12-0,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE BIGOT                      BLOODRAW
(18-9380) [11-5-1,124]         (18-9408) [5-1-0,31]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

STREET PIZZA (106)             GOLDEN LEGION (591)
(18-8889) [20-26-2,108]        (18-9277) [5-3-0,35]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NEXT GENERATION (547)       39
2. GOLDEN LEGION (591)         37      HELLBOURNE (653)
3. UNTOUCHABLES (287)          36      Unchartered Team
4. HELLBOURNE (653)            35
5. RUN AND HYDE (537)          34      ARENA EXPERTS (673)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 OF WOLF AND MAN (620)     10   5  0 66.7   1/ 3 HELP WANTED (671)         9  6 0
 2/ 2 HELLBOURNE (653)          74  45  4 62.2   2/ 5 WASTELAND (207)           8  2 0
 3/ 3 NEXT GENERATION (547)    193 128 10 60.1   3/ 6 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)     8  7 1
 4- 4 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)  95  75  7 55.9   4/ 1 BIG MEAN FISH (171)       8  7 1
 5- 5 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)      118  98  5 54.6   5/ 2 BURN N' PILLAGE (218)     7  7 0
 6/ 6 HELP WANTED (671)        103  93  8 52.6   6/ 9 HELLBOURNE (653)          6  0 2
 7/ 7 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)    136 125 11 52.1   7/ 7 CENTER FOR OLDS (108)     6  9 0
 8/ 8 WASTELAND (207)          696 643 43 52.0   8/14 NEXT GENERATION (547)     5  2 0
 9/ 9 BURN N' PILLAGE (218)    711 670 34 51.5   9/13 GOLDEN LEGION (591)       4  2 0
10/10 CENTER FOR OLDS (108)    964 938 61 50.7  10/10 CAROLINA BLUE (575)       4  5 0
11/11 BIG MEAN FISH (171)      698 717 35 49.3  11- 4 VINCERE AUT MORI (626)    4  6 0
12-13 VINCERE AUT MORI (626)   119 130  9 47.8  12/11 SHEPHERDS (252)           4 11 1
13/12 CAROLINA BLUE (575)       18  20  0 47.4  13/ 8 ARROGANCE (347)           4 11 0
14/14 STREET PIZZA (106)       709 798 54 47.0  14/12 STREET PIZZA (106)        3  0 1
15-16 PENTARCHIE-18 (508)      293 343  9 46.1  15/16 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)    3  6 0
16/17 SHEPHERDS (252)          651 800 34 44.9  16/18 RUN AND HYDE (537)        3  7 2
17/18 RUN AND HYDE (537)       105 135 13 43.8  17/ 0 UNTOUCHABLES (287)        2  3 0
18/19 GOLDEN LEGION (591)       39  51  1 43.3  18-15 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)       2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0 UNTOUCHABLES (287)       204 274 16 42.7  19-17 OF WOLF AND MAN (620)     1  0 0
20/15*ARENA EXPERTS (673)       13  18  2 41.9  20/19*ARENA EXPERTS (673)       1  9 0
21/21 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)    85 151  7 36.0  21-20 PENTARCHIE-18 (508)       0  1 0
22/20 ARROGANCE (347)          426 758 27 36.0  22-21 OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

I have no intention of relinquishing my position as Duelmaster, in fact I plan to
hold it until I travel to the Isle.  With proper challenges this should be a goal
easily accomplished.  I must confess, the number of Aimers in the top ranks is a bit
disconcerting, there was a time when managers were well rounded, and could instruct
in the court of all styles, that time has passed.  Now, managers are not nearly as
intelligent as the man that holds the strings to my life, Den, they must load their
basket with the eggs of Aimers and Lungers.  Very sad indeed.

Do what you will, again I still remain here, although a bit more uncomfortable as
there is no throne to sit upon.  My anger is as large as Suave's pool of ignorance,
and repercussions must be accepted, regardless of your stature.  Again, I am
Duelmaster and can do what I will, and justly do exactly that.  My love for children
is shadowed by my love for standing beneath the full moon my body glistening with the
sweat of victory.  I am elegant, a model of efficiency, and a persistent gloater.
Victory is sweet and sought at all costs.

Come for me underlings, come and attempt to take the position from me.  If you can
beat me, and know a good woodworker, you can rebuild the throne and perhaps restore
the history it kept.  Perhaps not.


                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
TALCAMA brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, BIG MEAN FISH, since 
HELP WANTED took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Now keep the 
taverns open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for VINCERE AUT MORI, whose 
0-0-0 this turn dropped them by 7 into 11th.  Ha!  NEXT GENERATION turned their 3-1-0 
turn into a 8th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you 
get put on hit lists.  Gee, I'm impressed, a 4-0-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, 
WASTELAND, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are proud.  Of course, we're all 
terribly impressed to see A'AMON win a fight and gain 28 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, 
breakin' my heart.  Going for broke or broken, our Duelmaster THE CRUSHER challenged 
this turn.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as THE CRUSHER takes the 
Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and 
bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their 
fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  What's 
the big D?  STREET PIZZA was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  
Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was NEXT GENERATION.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ooh, I'm 
frightfully impressed, 'SLOSHERS was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch that 
ego swell, sports fans.  Looks like time for laurels or hemlock, WOLF CICHLID was 
challenged by UNGOOD, who was ranked 60 points below it.  And The Original Arthur's 
Last Stand has banned WOLF CICHLID from service until next turn for losing to UNGOOD 
and giving it 26 points in the process!  Ha!  QUICKDEATH was challenged by one of 
HELP WANTED's warriors this turn, with LOWELL HALE having a lead of 22 points going 
into the fight.  And sorry to say, LOWELL HALE bested QUICKDEATH, leaving a bad 
feeling with the crowd.  I think exploitive snob is the term I'm looking for.  I 
guess I can give a little credit to THE VOYEUR of IMPURE THOUGHTS for challenging up 
by 22 to DARTH SION.  THE VOYEUR lost to get 37 points of recognition.  And we have 
BUBOLA in a challenge, going down 10 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought 
BUBOLA showed great skill and promise when she overcame ILLFACET.  All right, so I 
slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  RUN AND HYDE has cause to pause today, as BLUE MOON 
was sent to the Dark Arena, and came back--though not in the best of moods, I'll 
wager.  And sending KIND AERON to the Dark Arena was supposed to be one of your 
better ideas, UNTOUCHABLES?  Ya gotta go sometime, and WHET WILLIAM's time was this 
time.  Hmmm, not a bad fighter, had he lived... (what?  me pity?).  Bye bye, warrior, 
bye bye...  DOC STEELE, a glorious 9-36-0 fighter, has passed away.  Gee, too bad 
ARROGANCE.  We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up 
with you sooner that later?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see 
the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE CRUSHER 8050             14  12  0   115       NEXT GENERATION (547)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE BIGOT 9380               11   5  1   124       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
 MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257        14   5  0   117       WASTELAND (207)
 LEONIDAS 8537                17   4  1   111       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
 COUNT IN THE CELLAR 8404     13   6  0   109       NEXT GENERATION (547)
 SMELL CAREFULLY 8889         20  26  2   108       STREET PIZZA (106)
 'SLOSHERS 8460               18  53  0   107       ARROGANCE (347)
 UNGOOD 9297                  10   2  0   103       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
-DATA LOSS 8029               19   8  0   101       NEXT GENERATION (547)
 VISTA BLOWS 9258             13   6  0   101       WASTELAND (207)
-HEXALUS 8869                 26  18  0   100       VINCERE AUT MORI (626)
-SOUND THE VANILLA! 9209      14   3  0    97       WASTELAND (207)
-KA'ZEEN 8858                 11   8  0    97       HELLBOURNE (653)
 THE PEDOPHILE 9382           12  10  2    91       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARV JR 9288                  6   1  0    90       WASTELAND (207)
 THE PHILANDERER 9384         14   9  1    89       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
 CHARNEL 8575                 11   5  1    85       RUN AND HYDE (537)
 HOFFA 8478                    8  61  0    85       ARROGANCE (347)
 HK-47 8584                   17  33  0    84       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
-PETIT TROLL BAVEUX 8978      19   8  0    82       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
 WOLF CICHLID 9253            13   6  0    80       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
 MISSION VAO 8891             15  31  1    79       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
 ENTEK 9151                   11  18  0    77       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
-THE CLOSER 9187               7   3  1    74       OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)
 FLEECE 9211                  11   4  0    72       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
-SOLSBURY HILL 8558           15  17  6    69       STREET PIZZA (106)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-V'DO 9051                    10   9  1    66       HELLBOURNE (653)
 MICHAEL JORDAN 7797           8   2  0    66       CAROLINA BLUE (575)
-INDENTURED OARSMAN 9167       6   3  0    65       SEA DOGS (224)
 ARETE 8969                    6  11  1    62       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
 DARTH SION 9233              10  11  0    60       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
 ADAMANT 8075                  8   7  1    59       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
-LOCO REY 9274                 7   7  1    57       VINCERE AUT MORI (626)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-URANIUM 657                  11  12  2    53       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ZELANA 9240                   5   2  0    49       OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)
 DIZZ SCHUIER 9345             5   1  0    49       HELP WANTED (671)
 AKAI 9213                     8  14  2    40       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
-BIG GLOU GLAIREAUX 9044       7  10  0    39       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
 XYLICARE 9317                 6   3  0    38       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
 GAD 9239                      8  12  1    37       SHEPHERDS (252)
 THE VOYEUR 9377               7   6  0    37       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
 LOWELL HALE 9347              4   2  0    36       HELP WANTED (671)
 MERVYN 8750                   8   6  1    35       RUN AND HYDE (537)
 GOOSE 9277                    5   3  0    35       GOLDEN LEGION (591)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SCAR THE BEAST 9368           4   1  0    33       VINCERE AUT MORI (626)
-SHEWISH WHALER 9272           3   1  0    33       SEA DOGS (224)
 BLUE MOON 9373                1   1  1    33       RUN AND HYDE (537)
 BLOODRAW 9408                 5   1  0    31       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-THORIUM 9154                  3   3  1    31       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
-RAASHUB 9202                  2   2  1    31       OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)
 OAKLAND FU 9424               3   0  0    26       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
-ASTINIUS 9423                 2   1  1    26       VINCERE AUT MORI (626)
 PICKLE BYSTROM 9344           4   2  0    25       HELP WANTED (671)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 Z'DANE 9281                   4   1  1    23       HELLBOURNE (653)
-SORICCA THE CRAZED 9305       4   6  1    23       VINCERE AUT MORI (626)
 DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321           5   1  0    22       WASTELAND (207)
 GAYLAN OSBORNE 9346           3   3  0    22       HELP WANTED (671)
 GOLDEN BARB 9370              4   2  0    20       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
 ADAM 9441                     2   0  1    20       SHEPHERDS (252)
 MESHACH 9440                  2   0  0    19       SHEPHERDS (252)
 CRUSHING BRATZ 9153           1   0  0    19       NEXT GENERATION (547)
 MANAGER 9303                  3   9  0    18       ARROGANCE (347)
-DRARR 9276                    2   0  0    18       OF WOLF AND MAN (620)
 BUBOLA 9319                   4   5  0    17       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
 ZEBRA SOLE 9444               2   0  0    17       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
 RAYMOND FELTON 9419           2   0  0    17       CAROLINA BLUE (575)
 VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421         1   3  0    15       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
 POND 9324                     1   4  0    15       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
 HOFFA 9369                    3   3  0    12       ARROGANCE (347)
 QUICKDEATH 9407               2   4  1    11       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-POOK 8492                     3   1  0    10       OF WOLF AND MAN (620)
-KUNG 8493                     2   2  0     8       OF WOLF AND MAN (620)
 ROY WILLIAMS 9336             1   1  0     8       CAROLINA BLUE (575)
-MERCURY 9155                  1   5  0     8       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 PEACOCK FLOUNDER 9445         1   1  0     7       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
 POSTMORTEM 9402               1   4  0     7       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-SHEWISH CORSAIR 9237          0   1  0     7       SEA DOGS (224)
 THE FORNICATOR 9429           1   2  0     5       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
 ILLFACET 9401                 1   2  0     5       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-STROMTIUM 90 9413             0   3  0     3       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 JONAH 9428                    0   3  0     3       SHEPHERDS (252)
 PROGIDY, DAMMIT! 9446         0   2  0     2       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
-SCORTEST 9325                 0   2  0     2       OF WOLF AND MAN II (630)
 BLADESEDGE 9451               0   1  0     1       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
 BAD LIEUTENANT 9452           0   1  0     1       HELP WANTED (671)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DOC STEELE 8890        9 37 0 ARROGANCE 347         SMELL CAREFULLY 8889  549         
GHOST GOBY 9029       18 17 0 BIG MEAN FISH 171     WHET WILLIAM 9280     545 NOT REVE
PANTHER GROUPER 9273   7  7 0 BIG MEAN FISH 171     V'DO 9051             547         
VARIABLE 9121         17 12 0 BURN N' PILLAGE 218   CHARNEL 8575          548         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DONALD FORTE 9426      0  1 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575     ADAM 9441             548         
CRANKY SPANKY 9453     0  1 0 CENTER FOR OLDS 108   BLACK ORC 424         549 NONE    
WHET WILLIAM 9280      9  5 2 CENTER FOR OLDS 108   A'AMON 8806           549 NONE    
HIGH ELF 423           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          BLUE MOON 9373        549 NONE    
TOWERS 9415            0  1 0 GOLDEN LEGION 591     SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE    
BORG DRONE D000 9436   0  1 0 NEXT GENERATION 547   MOUNTAIN TROLL 422    549 NONE    
TRYAGAIN 9454          0  1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537      SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE    
SCRAMBLE 9455          0  1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537      SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE    
FOR THE FAMINE 9449    0  1 0 SHEPHERDS 252         SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 549 NONE    
RADIAN 9210            1  2 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287      DARK CHAMPION 428     549 NONE    
KIND AERON 9190        2  1 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287      AVENGING ZILTHORN 431 549 NONE    
ELIAS 9448             0  1 0 UNTOUCHABLES 287      DARK CHAMPION 428     549 NONE    
CHANTEL OROS 9329      1  3 0 VINCERE AUT MORI 626  THORIUM 9154          545 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Big Wave Dave -- Ok, that is twice in a row that you've broken through my avoids.
Time for the fool-proof avoid method....  And in the interim, I believe I'll
challenge Wolf with another of my warriors and see if I can't have you hold the old
maid at the end of the hand. -- Assur

Talcama -- All I can say is, "WOW!"  Tourney domination....  Good job to all the
winners.  You make this city proud!

Den -- That is actually the fifth throne that has been destroyed.  The chair itself
is nothing.  It is the position and history of those who sat there that carries
meaning, something you cannot destroy.  My greatest hope, though, is that you destroy
the apathy of many (of which even I am partly guilty) in this fine arena and cause an
uprising that hasn't been seen here for a long time.  I can only hope the apathy
doesn't return after you've been driven from our sands.  After all, worms cannot
thrive in sand, only in mud. -- Assur

Michael Jordan -- Even the best lose (sometimes).  Your reputation as the best
precedes you.  I will count myself lucky. -- Count in the Cellar

Suave -- I enjoyed the compilation.  Interesting death stat.  I guess the long time
managers in Talcama aren't your everyday killers.... -- Assur

Pedophile -- You killed the best?  You really believe that?  If you're going for the
best, you should challenge Muffy's or TUM's or Doc's guys (when they're active).  26-
25?  I wasn't great.  I was _old_.  I wasn't even the best warrior in our stable.
Somehow, I became far more Chunky than Super.  Anyway...if you're under the delusion
that by killing the best, you become the best, I'll stick with that line of thinking.
You killed a warrior who sucked.  Ergo.... -- Chunky Superdude
P.S.  Evidently the Commission didn't even care that you "killed" me.  They're not
providing a chance to bloodfeud.
P.P.S.  My life was yours to take?  Man, you couldn't even take a chance on me if you
had Abba's greatest hits.

I want someone better, a real go-getter
Instead of recruits always slacking
What a waste of a night to be watching this fight
But I see any talent is lacking
His heart isn't in it, he's dead in a minute
I'll go drown myself in some booze
Guess I'll wait two more weeks 'til curiosity piques
Hope I won't get no more D.A. blues
(How many verses will it require?  How many? -- Suave)

Toker -- We just finished a Battle Royale.  (By "we," of course, I'm excluding
myself.)  Why not let Hexalus hang around longer?  Otherwise, you could well join me
in a duet of the above song. -- Suave

Suave -- I would like to welcome you to Talcama as well.  Looks like you are prepared
to fill the role as the aged egomaniac veteran.  This is the logs of hate that build
my fire, looking forward to burning you down. -- Den

Toker -- You were given a shot, and lost.  Maybe this turn you will get yet another
shot at the title.  If I can, I will kill your man, then your people can talk to my
people and we shall see who has the better team. -- Den

Arena Experts -- Continue the bloodletting and enjoy it all. -- Den

20 October 2006
In accordance with those rules set forth by the Lady of the Realm, I hereby announce
the formation of a small group of managers calling themselves "The Outsiders".  The
group consists of the following members:
     Doc LeGrande
     Street Legal
     This group has only one rule.  Respect the play of the managers of this
alliance.  We have no worries about not playing by the rules set forth by others.  We
fight the way we like, and all those in this group appreciate what tools each manager
brings.  We have managers from the Delarquan, Andorian and Free Blade regions.  We
have managers that focus on the tournament arenas, and we have those that focus on
the regular city arenas.  We have those in our ranks that fight with honor and
respect for all, and we have those that have a bloodlust that cannot be quenched.
     Our goal is simple.  To create a ensemble of managers that will show their
prowess in the land of Alastari, and to bring a new level of competition to all those
that share the sands with our warriors.  Our warriors are many throughout the land.
We have no home arena.  We have no pacts we abide by.  Our fighters range from
Mordant to Talcama, from Lapur to Lyratilan, Aruak City to Valamantis, the Primus
arena to Talahya, and many more arenas throughout the land.
     Whether we are sought out or ignored makes no difference to us.  We are what we
are.  We fight how we fight.  And we do it however we wish.  We have no rules.  We
have no leader or ruler.  Be prepared.  We are.

20 October 2006
The Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire respond thus to the Avengers of the Light:
Where are you?  EACH AND EVERY Dark Knight can be found in arenas 31 and 52.  Your
pretty words mean less than nothing if you won't fight.  EVERY Dark Knight is more
than willing to back up their talk.  So...we give you three turns in either 31 or 52,
REPEAT 31 or 52 to show up or shut up.  If you don't show we'll let all of Alastari
know the Avengers are indeed cowards! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLUE MOON viciously butchered HIGH ELF in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
RADIAN was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
KIND AERON was killed by AVENGING ZILTHORN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TOWERS was slaughtered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
TRYAGAIN was butchered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
CRANKY SPANKY was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
SCRAMBLE was butchered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
ELIAS was slaughtered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
FOR THE FAMINE was dealt death by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
BORG DRONE D000 was easily killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
THE PEDOPHILE was handily defeated by THE CRUSHER in a 1 minute Challenge Title melee.
THE BIGOT vanquished 'SLOSHERS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MARV JR vanquished HOFFA in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge fight.
UNGOOD overpowered WOLF CICHLID in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
THE PHILANDERER demolished MICHAEL JORDAN in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
THE VOYEUR was subdued by DARTH SION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
LOWELL HALE overpowered QUICKDEATH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
Z'DANE defeated MANAGER in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel.
GOLDEN BARB was viciously subdued by GOOSE in a action packed 4 minute Challenge duel.
BUBOLA bested ILLFACET in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
ZEBRA SOLE slimly won victory over ROY WILLIAMS in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
PEACOCK FLOUNDER beat PROGIDY, DAMMIT! in a 2 minute novice's Challenge match.
WHET WILLIAM was easily killed by A'AMON in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
VISTA BLOWS overpowered HK-47 in a 2 minute uneven fight.
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH savagely defeated MISSION VAO in a action packed 3 minute bout.
SMELL CAREFULLY viciously butchered DOC STEELE in a 2 minute veteran's contest.
COUNT IN THE CELLAR overpowered ENTEK in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LEONIDAS overpowered CHARNEL in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
FLEECE demolished XYLICARE in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
GAD was viciously subdued by DIZZ SCHUIER in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
AKAI was overpowered by ARETE in a 1 minute uneven competition.
ADAMANT overpowered GAYLAN OSBORNE in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
BLOODRAW won victory over CULT MEMBER in a 2 minute fray.
MERVYN defeated VOLITAN LIONFISH in a exciting 6 minute gory match.
HOFFA was defeated by PICKLE BYSTROM in a 2 minute bout.
POND was savagely defeated by DWIGHT SCHRUTE in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
OAKLAND FU demolished JONAH in a 1 minute uneven contest.
THE FORNICATOR was overpowered by ADAM in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
POSTMORTEM was subdued by MESHACH in a 1 minute novice's struggle.
RAYMOND FELTON overcame BLADESEDGE in a 2 minute novice's fight.
CRUSHING BRATZ demolished BAD LIEUTENANT in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  16         AIMED BLOW        53 -  30 -  0      64  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  29 -  3      57  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  24 -  0      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  14 -  1      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         STRIKING ATTACK   27 -  30 -  5      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    56 -  66 -  6      46  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  16 -  0      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  68 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  37 -  3      35  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -  15 -  0      35  |

Turn 549 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     6 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  9         3  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  5         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         5 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  6         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  6         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   THE CRUSHER 8050           14  12  0  115 NEXT GENERATION (547)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE BIGOT 9380             11   5  1  124 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
AIMED BLOW       MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257      14   5  0  117 WASTELAND (207)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE PEDOPHILE 9382         12  10  2   91 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    THE PHILANDERER 9384       14   9  1   89 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
LUNGING ATTACK   CHARNEL 8575               11   5  1   85 RUN AND HYDE (537)
WALL OF STEEL    ADAMANT 8075                8   7  1   59 GOLDEN LEGION (591)
TOTAL PARRY      MERVYN 8750                 8   6  1   35 RUN AND HYDE (537)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SMELL CAREFULLY 8889.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GOOSE 9277.  The ten other most popular fighters were MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257, 

The least popular fighter this week was POSTMORTEM 9402.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were THE FORNICATOR 9429, JONAH 9428, POND 9324, HOFFA 9369, AKAI 9213, 
XYLICARE 9317, CHARNEL 8575, ENTEK 9151, HK-47 8584, and WHET WILLIAM 9280.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

'SLOSHERS (18-8460) ARROGANCE (347)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

A'AMON (18-8806) HELLBOURNE (653)