DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 12/04/2006 Duedate: 12/16/2006 TALCAMA ARENA DM-18 TURN-550 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS THE CRUSHER NEXT GENERATION (547) (18-8050) [15-12-0,125] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader MR. DUTCH CRUNCH POSTMORTEM WASTELAND (207) ARENA EXPERTS (673) (18-9257) [15-5-0,126] (18-9402) [2-4-0,30] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite SMELL CAREFULLY QUICKDEATH STREET PIZZA (106) ARENA EXPERTS (673) (18-8889) [21-26-2,122] (18-9407) [2-5-1,12] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM HELP WANTED (671) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. HELP WANTED (671) 51 2. BURN N' PILLAGE (218) 40 HELLBOURNE (653) 3. CENTER FOR OLDS (108) 32 Unchartered Team 4. PENTARCHIE-18 (508) 27 5. ARROGANCE (347) 26 THE SUMMONING 3 (674) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*THE SUMMONING 3 (674) 1 0 0 100 1/ 1 HELP WANTED (671) 11 4 0 2/ 2 HELLBOURNE (653) 75 46 4 62.0 2/ 2 WASTELAND (207) 9 3 0 3/ 3 NEXT GENERATION (547) 195 129 10 60.2 3/ 4 BIG MEAN FISH (171) 8 7 1 4/ 5 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) 118 103 5 53.4 4/12 SHEPHERDS (252) 8 7 1 5/ 6 HELP WANTED (671) 107 94 8 53.2 5/ 8 NEXT GENERATION (547) 7 3 0 6/ 8 WASTELAND (207) 699 644 43 52.0 6/ 5 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) 7 7 0 7/ 9 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) 714 672 34 51.5 7/10 CAROLINA BLUE (575) 6 6 0 8/ 7 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) 137 129 11 51.5 8/ 7 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) 6 9 0 9/10 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) 966 941 61 50.7 9/ 3 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) 6 9 0 10/11 BIG MEAN FISH (171) 701 719 36 49.4 10/ 6 HELLBOURNE (653) 5 1 1 11/13 CAROLINA BLUE (575) 21 22 0 48.8 11/17 UNTOUCHABLES (287) 5 4 0 12-12 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) 119 130 9 47.8 12/ 9 GOLDEN LEGION (591) 4 5 0 13/14 STREET PIZZA (106) 710 798 54 47.1 13/13 ARROGANCE (347) 4 10 0 14/15 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) 294 347 10 45.9 14/14 STREET PIZZA (106) 3 0 1 15/16 SHEPHERDS (252) 655 801 34 45.0 15-11 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) 3 2 0 16/19 UNTOUCHABLES (287) 207 275 16 42.9 16/16 RUN AND HYDE (537) 3 12 2 17/17 RUN AND HYDE (537) 105 140 13 42.9 17/ 0 FUNKY FOLK (625) 2 1 2 18/18 GOLDEN LEGION (591) 40 54 1 42.6 18/15 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) 2 7 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/ 0 FUNKY FOLK (625) 41 64 6 39.0 19/20*ARENA EXPERTS (673) 2 12 0 20/20*ARENA EXPERTS (673) 14 22 2 38.9 20/ 0*THE SUMMONING 3 (674) 1 0 0 21/22 ARROGANCE (347) 429 759 27 36.1 21/21 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) 1 4 1 22/21 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) 85 154 7 35.6 22/18 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) 0 5 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. A-Sop should name her next warrior Den. My avoids go out to Den, which is funny, because I am confident in my ability to beat either of his warriors. But I'm not so arrogant as to think any fight is 'easy.' The fact is, I only see one warrior in the ranks that looks like an easy win. And that is who Assur is having me challenge. To be honest, Den's warriors look like the next best thing to free wins. But Assur doesn't want Den to even have the opportunity for a title fight. Something about not having to hear him spew forth his Impure Thoughts. So Next Generation is looking for our next generation of tourney warriors. Crushing Bratz is a nice addition, but he's not going to reach the heights of some of our former members. Count and I are off to immortal retirement. Data Loss will follow in the future, but with a half dozen Aimed Blows sitting around the top, Assur would rather watch them aim challenges at each other rather than his scum. It is somewhat ironic that Assur, right after declaring that Next Generation would be his tourney baby team, gets me and Count to join him. Assur was unwilling to train us as Lungers (which is what most managers would have done) and felt we weren't good enough to be anything else other than bashers. So here we are, two bashers, trying to be tourney warriors. Count was successful, pulling a TV, but I've been nothing but a disappointment for Assur. I guess this is my time to shine, holding the throne in Assur's home town. I hope it can last for a turn or two. -- The Crusher SPY REPORT You elder fighters surely remember me. The younger ones may call me Olaf Modeen. I return to TALCAMA once again! Hmmmph! I always thought IMPURE THOUGHTS was an over-rated team and they proved it with a 1-4-0! Up 'n down. Up 'n down. Rankings always change. Up 'n down. I think I'm gonna be... Well, SHEPHERDS' 4th moved them up to 4-1-0 place. Some people say I ramble too much, I don't say anything relevant. I repeat myself. I ramble. Well UNTOUCHABLES moved up 6, to 11th. What's with POSTMORTEM? He actually beat HEAVYMETAL KIDS' THORIUM, and walked away with 23 more points from the fight. Major screwup at HEAVYMETAL KIDS. THORIUM lost 17 points to POSTMORTEM. Some new strategies, perhaps? Maybe THORIUM will provide more easy wins... IMPURE THOUGHTS' hatred of NEXT GENERATION surfaced again as THE PEDOPHILE challenged TALCAMA's top dog. Try as he might, THE PEDOPHILE wasn't good enough at persuading THE CRUSHER to step down from the Duelmaster's throne... I suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters? Tough! If at first you don't succeed, avoid. That'll get you in the Spyreports. The most avoided team was IMPURE THOUGHTS. The bums at WASTELAND couldn't face the challenges from IMPURE THOUGHTS! No excuse for that! What do people see in 'SLOSHERS? His 19-53-0? ARROGANCE ain't talkin', but he's got 116 points. Fighting is a better craft than farming, SMELL CAREFULLY, but you have to pay your dues. Being challenged by THE BIGOT, 16 points above you, is dues. THE BIGOT left the match looking worse than when he went in, after SMELL CAREFULLY, with a 20-26-2, walked all over him. UNGOOD expects the easy win by going 18 points down. HOFFA will find this a hard lesson! UNGOOD beat HOFFA. I bet UNGOOD could beat two-year-olds, too. Well, ARROGANCE knows who to set their sights on. DARTH SION didn't quite know what to make of a challenge he received from AKAI of BURN N' PILLAGE, who is 20 points below him. AKAI perhaps got its just desserts, seeing as it overcame DARTH SION and ended up with 56 recognition points. A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing. Some fighters don't accept this. The best do. Who will dare fight DREW PEA, after he returned from the Dark Arena? (For the record 11-12-2 is 95, and has he points) We all knew it had to happen sooner or later. A warrior can't stick around with a 4-6-0, and VOLITAN LIONFISH easily took care of BUBOLA. Someone told CHARNEL that BURN N' PILLAGE never Bloodfeuded, that he'd have an easy kill. Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is right sorry. ADAM was plum wore out after ROY WILLIAMS pounded 'im silly in a Bloodfeud. SHEPHERDS'll have to get a little better before going after ROY WILLIAMS again! Here's some advice: study your opponent, master many skills, fight dirty. Many other cities have retirement homes for aged warriors. Any plans here? The end of another Spyreport! That's cause for celebration in my book! I don't want to overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME THE CRUSHER 8050 15 12 0 125 NEXT GENERATION (547) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257 15 5 0 126 WASTELAND (207) LEONIDAS 8537 18 4 1 123 UNTOUCHABLES (287) SMELL CAREFULLY 8889 21 26 2 122 STREET PIZZA (106) UNGOOD 9297 11 2 0 110 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) MARV JR 9288 7 1 0 104 WASTELAND (207) -DATA LOSS 8029 19 8 0 101 NEXT GENERATION (547) -HEXALUS 8869 26 18 0 100 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) COUNT IN THE CELLAR 8404 13 7 0 98 NEXT GENERATION (547) -SOUND THE VANILLA! 9209 14 3 0 97 WASTELAND (207) -KA'ZEEN 8858 11 8 0 97 HELLBOURNE (653) VISTA BLOWS 9258 13 7 0 95 WASTELAND (207) DREW PEA 8765 11 12 2 95 FUNKY FOLK (625) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WOLF CICHLID 9253 14 6 0 90 BIG MEAN FISH (171) ENTEK 9151 12 18 0 90 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) THE BIGOT 9380 11 6 1 90 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) HOFFA 8478 8 62 0 86 ARROGANCE (347) HK-47 8584 17 34 0 85 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) THE PEDOPHILE 9382 12 11 2 84 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) V'DO 9051 11 9 1 84 HELLBOURNE (653) PETIT TROLL BAVEUX 8978 19 9 0 81 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) THE PHILANDERER 9384 14 10 1 81 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) ADAMANT 8075 9 7 1 80 GOLDEN LEGION (591) MISSION VAO 8891 15 32 1 78 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) CHARNEL 8575 11 6 1 76 RUN AND HYDE (537) -SOLSBURY HILL 8558 15 17 6 69 STREET PIZZA (106) MICHAEL JORDAN 7797 9 2 0 69 CAROLINA BLUE (575) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -DINAH MIGHT 9229 6 2 1 66 FUNKY FOLK (625) DIZZ SCHUIER 9345 6 1 0 66 HELP WANTED (671) -INDENTURED OARSMAN 9167 6 3 0 65 SEA DOGS (224) FLEECE 9211 11 5 0 60 GOLDEN LEGION (591) -LOCO REY 9274 7 7 1 57 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME AKAI 9213 9 14 2 56 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) LOWELL HALE 9347 5 2 0 56 HELP WANTED (671) URANIUM 657 11 13 2 50 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) XYLICARE 9317 7 3 0 49 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) GAD 9239 9 12 1 48 SHEPHERDS (252) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME DARTH SION 9233 10 12 0 46 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624) ARETE 8969 6 12 1 46 UNTOUCHABLES (287) THE VOYEUR 9377 8 6 0 42 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) MERVYN 8750 8 7 1 36 RUN AND HYDE (537) BIG GLOU GLAIREAUX 9044 7 11 0 36 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) GOOSE 9277 5 4 0 35 GOLDEN LEGION (591) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GAYLAN OSBORNE 9346 4 3 0 33 HELP WANTED (671) -SCAR THE BEAST 9368 4 1 0 33 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) -SHEWISH WHALER 9272 3 1 0 33 SEA DOGS (224) CRUSHING BRATZ 9153 2 0 0 33 NEXT GENERATION (547) DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321 6 1 0 30 WASTELAND (207) VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421 2 3 1 30 BIG MEAN FISH (171) POSTMORTEM 9402 2 4 0 30 ARENA EXPERTS (673) MANAGER 9303 4 9 0 29 ARROGANCE (347) PICKLE BYSTROM 9344 5 2 0 27 HELP WANTED (671) -ASTINIUS 9423 2 1 1 26 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) OAKLAND FU 9424 3 1 0 25 BURN N' PILLAGE (218) ROY WILLIAMS 9336 2 1 0 25 CAROLINA BLUE (575) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GOLDEN BARB 9370 5 2 0 23 BIG MEAN FISH (171) -Z'DANE 9281 4 1 1 23 HELLBOURNE (653) -SORICCA THE CRAZED 9305 4 6 1 23 VINCERE AUT MORI (626) MESHACH 9440 3 0 0 21 SHEPHERDS (252) BLOODRAW 9408 5 2 0 17 ARENA EXPERTS (673) HOFFA 9369 4 3 0 17 ARROGANCE (347) POND 9324 1 5 0 16 GOLDEN LEGION (591) SHINE 9465 1 0 0 15 UNTOUCHABLES (287) THORIUM 9154 3 4 1 14 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) QUICKDEATH 9407 2 5 1 12 ARENA EXPERTS (673) THE PLAGUE 9459 1 0 0 12 SHEPHERDS (252) RAYMOND FELTON 9419 2 1 0 11 CAROLINA BLUE (575) T. HENRY 9323 1 0 1 11 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) ROSE BUSH 9327 1 0 1 11 FUNKY FOLK (625) WORG 9431 1 0 0 11 THE SUMMONING 3 (674) PROGIDY, DAMMIT! 9446 1 2 0 10 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) SUPPLE 9466 1 0 0 10 UNTOUCHABLES (287) RASHEED WALLACE 9439 1 0 0 10 CAROLINA BLUE (575) MERCURY 9155 1 6 0 9 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) JONAH 9428 1 3 0 9 SHEPHERDS (252) ADAM 9441 2 1 1 8 SHEPHERDS (252) ZEBRA SOLE 9444 2 1 0 8 BIG MEAN FISH (171) -SHEWISH CORSAIR 9237 0 1 0 7 SEA DOGS (224) THE FORNICATOR 9429 1 3 0 6 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) ILLFACET 9401 1 3 0 6 ARENA EXPERTS (673) STROMTIUM 90 9413 0 4 0 6 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4) PEACOCK FLOUNDER 9445 1 2 0 5 BIG MEAN FISH (171) ZIZANE 9322 0 1 0 5 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) -SALLY FOURTH 9367 1 1 0 4 FUNKY FOLK (625) BAD LIEUTENANT 9452 0 2 0 2 HELP WANTED (671) VERSE THREE 9462 0 1 0 1 CENTER FOR OLDS (108) GEORGE LYNCH 9456 0 1 0 1 CAROLINA BLUE (575) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? BLADESEDGE 9451 0 2 0 ARENA EXPERTS 673 BLACK ORC 424 550 NONE DOC STEELE 8890 9 37 0 ARROGANCE 347 SMELL CAREFULLY 8889 549 PANTHER GROUPER 9273 7 7 0 BIG MEAN FISH 171 V'DO 9051 547 CANDY LI 9458 0 1 0 BURN N' PILLAGE 218 ROSE BUSH 9327 550 VARIABLE 9121 17 12 0 BURN N' PILLAGE 218 CHARNEL 8575 548 JUST REV THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? DONALD FORTE 9426 0 1 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575 ADAM 9441 548 JUST REV VERSE TWO 9463 0 1 0 CENTER FOR OLDS 108 MERCENARY TAO 427 550 NONE BUBOLA 9319 4 6 0 CENTER FOR OLDS 108 VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421 550 HIGH ELF 423 0 1 0 DARK ARENA 0 DREW PEA 8765 550 NONE DENNY GRATER 9328 1 3 0 FUNKY FOLK 625 DARK CHAMPION 428 550 NONE ELEMENT 119 9467 0 1 0 HEAVYMETAL KIDS 4 T. HENRY 9323 550 GADZ'K 9450 0 1 0 HELLBOURNE 653 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 550 NONE TOURNEUIS 9425 0 1 0 PENTARCHIE-18 508 MERCENARY TAO 427 550 NONE BLUE MOON 9373 1 2 1 RUN AND HYDE 537 DARK CHAMPION 428 550 NONE WAY 9469 0 1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537 SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 550 NONE NO 9468 0 1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537 BLACK ORC 424 550 NONE PERSONAL ADS Den -- It saddens me that the lover of children was forced to step down for a turn or so. I will miss his inspirational Duelmaster speeches, and the thunderous standing ovation that followed each of them. It is good to see someone stand up for what is wrong for a change. -- Bill Assur -- You are but a clump in the corner of the litterbox of life. Easily taken care of with merely a scoop, and a deft toss over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Would you put a retarded child in the ring with a polished pugilist? Nay, nor should you place yourself in Den's way. -- Bill All -- Anyone have a manager's list for this arena? -- Bill Pending a probably more accurate list from Assur next time around, here's what I have. These are teams listed in last turn's newsletter. If there are any corrections, just let me know. -- The Saint, keeper of lists ARENA EXPERTS ? NEXT GENERATION Assurnasirbanipal ARROGANCE A-Sop OF WOLF AND MAN Tripwire BIG MEAN FISH Big Wave Dave OF WOLF AND MAN II Tripwire BURN N' PILLAGE Jolly PENTARCHIE-18 Le Pentarque CAROLINA BLUE Apex RUN AND HYDE Jekyll CENTER FOR OLDS Suave SHEPHERDS Assurnasirbanipal GOLDEN LEGION Seraphim STAR WARS: KOTOR Talon Warsmith HEAVYMETAL KIDS Moribund STREET PIZZA TUM HELLBOURNE DeGotti UNTOUCHABLES Angus HELP WANTED Bill VINCERE AUT MORI Dark Knight Toker IMPURE THOUGHTS Den WASTELAND The Muffin Man Suave -- We all covet the same goal, to cradle the mantle of the Duelmastership in our stable. You had it, I took it away, very simple. You may now wish to argue that your warrior sucked, and I would never dare correct you, I agree, he sucked, that is why I ordered his death. In order for you to bloodfeud the Duelmaster you must be a Challenger-Champion rated warrior, you had none, therefore the bloodfeud was not issued. Just to be fair, and to give my man another opportunity for a kill, I have relinquished my title so that you can indeed challenge me. I await your man on the sands, and I await the next funeral. I will request of the Pedophile that he not mark your man up too much so you can have an open casket. -- Den Assur -- When I pen your name, I choose to drop the U and the R, that is more befitting of a man with your known limitations. Feel free to send a few challenges my way, I have no problem padding my record. -- Den 10 November 2006 The Quest of the Best has come to an end. Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest, wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners. Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the Quest. Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in the dust. Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink) Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions: 1) Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls 2) Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts! 3) Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts 4) D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen 5) Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation 6) Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders 7) D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights 8) D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights 9) The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion 10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their butt handed to them. Respect to All. Quest #1 host, Dark Knight Toker 14 November 2006 A Tale of Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution as told by Hammer the WordSmith SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the lingering wisps of memory from days gone by. From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation. Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence experience. The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times. Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities presently past and future. Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93. The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy. Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and gallantry before. Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike. History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes. Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and olden legends of times lost. [TIME JUMP] Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy, yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena! "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch Light!" Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81. Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind. From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty! Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn. Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand. Future events would lend themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for processing. Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM 28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!] Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena. After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then another group of hopefuls. After lengthy debate a third was cast aside. Deciding between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial Commission. The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney- worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager. [TIME JUMP] Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and now it was time to begin their training. The paperwork had been dispatched for registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which preparation was paramount! Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney Arena. Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red! Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No- Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly Expected!] Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his mind! When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night. These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had they fallen into the possession of most other managers! Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney Arena!] Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!] Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace! [TIME JUMP] Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting! Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81 [recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon graduation!] The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS stable managed by Sweety Pie. Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena! Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission. Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus] had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE. Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No- Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission. Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari! Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION. Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm. Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf. Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with GRIFFONRAWL MMA. Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!] Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!] Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in thought!] Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena. COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as to their intentions. Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was anybody's guess at the present time!] Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None! HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by! JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!] "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper" Hammer Minister of War 30 November 2006 NEED A TURF WAR ALLIANCE?? Master Beru, Wretch, Reaper, and Xoan have come together to form an Alliance for the TURF WAR in DM47 with no regards for experience in competitions or even the game. If you want to enjoy the thrills of the competition, we have space for up to three more managers. Contact Master Beru at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information or send a note to Master Beru at DM 29--Army of Darkness. If you are interested, we need to move quickly, since the contest starts in January and there are a few requirements to meet to participate. May your blades find the chinks in your enemy's armor. -- Master Beru LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS DREW PEA butchered HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. BLUE MOON was barely slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle. DENNY GRATER was murdered by DARK CHAMPION in a 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight. BLADESEDGE was dealt death by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest. WAY was assassinated by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight. TOURNEUIS was butchered by MERCENARY TAO in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. VERSE TWO was butchered by MERCENARY TAO in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match. GADZ'K was easily killed by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. NO was easily killed by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena melee. ENTEK won victory over CHARNEL in a 1 minute veteran's Bloodfeud duel. ROY WILLIAMS vanquished ADAM in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel. THE BIGOT was overpowered by SMELL CAREFULLY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match. THE PEDOPHILE was overpowered by THE CRUSHER in a 1 minute Challenge Title fight. UNGOOD devastated HOFFA in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. VISTA BLOWS was subdued by 'SLOSHERS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match. MARV JR overpowered THE PHILANDERER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. WOLF CICHLID overpowered MISSION VAO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. AKAI viciously subdued DARTH SION in a exciting 4 minute expert's Challenge duel. XYLICARE devastated MERVYN in a 2 minute brutal one-sided Challenge brawl. OAKLAND FU was subdued by THE VOYEUR in a 2 minute novice vs. veteran Challenge bout. VOLITAN LIONFISH assassinated BUBOLA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. QUICKDEATH was beaten by HOFFA in a action packed 2 minute Challenge fight. RAYMOND FELTON was demolished by MANAGER in a 1 minute gruesome uneven Challenge bout. THE FORNICATOR was overcome by JONAH in a 1 minute novice's Challenge contest. PROGIDY, DAMMIT! subdued ILLFACET in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fight. MR. DUTCH CRUNCH won victory over COUNT IN THE CELLAR in a 1 minute match. LEONIDAS overpowered PETIT TROLL BAVEUX in a 2 minute one-sided duel. HK-47 was defeated by ADAMANT in a exciting 4 minute expert's match. FLEECE was vanquished by V'DO in a 1 minute one-sided fray. ARETE was handily defeated by DIZZ SCHUIER in a 1 minute mismatched bout. MICHAEL JORDAN vanquished GOOSE in a 1 minute one-sided bout. GAD overpowered BIG GLOU GLAIREAUX in a 1 minute uneven duel. URANIUM was overpowered by LOWELL HALE in a 1 minute gory one-sided match. PICKLE BYSTROM defeated MERCURY in a 1 minute brutal bout. BLOODRAW was overpowered by CRUSHING BRATZ in a 1 minute one-sided fray. THORIUM was devastated by POSTMORTEM in a 1 minute one-sided duel. GOLDEN BARB bested STROMTIUM 90 in a exciting 5 minute battle. GAYLAN OSBORNE devastated ZEBRA SOLE in a 1 minute uneven bout. POND was overpowered by DWIGHT SCHRUTE in a 1 minute one-sided match. MESHACH viciously subdued GEORGE LYNCH in a tiring 9 minute gory beginner's match. PEACOCK FLOUNDER slimly lost to SUPPLE in a 2 minute amateur's bout. BAD LIEUTENANT was demolished by THE PLAGUE in a exciting 1 minute uneven competition. ZIZANE was overpowered by WORG in a action packed 1 minute uneven battle. T. HENRY butchered ELEMENT 119 in a 1 minute mismatched match. ROSE BUSH slaughtered CANDY LI in a 1 minute one-sided conflict. VERSE THREE was devastated by RASHEED WALLACE in a 1 minute mismatched match. SHINE overcame FROGS FORM THE SKY in a 1 minute novice's conflict. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 19 AIMED BLOW 54 - 30 - 0 64 | |STRIKING ATTACK 11 SLASHING ATTACK 33 - 25 - 1 57 | |BASHING ATTACK 10 BASHING ATTACK 39 - 35 - 4 53 | |TOTAL PARRY 10 STRIKING ATTACK 31 - 33 - 5 48 | |AIMED BLOW 9 LUNGING ATTACK 63 - 70 - 6 47 | |SLASHING ATTACK 8 PARRY-STRIKE 11 - 14 - 2 44 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 8 WALL OF STEEL 22 - 34 - 3 39 | |WALL OF STEEL 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 13 - 22 - 0 37 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 TOTAL PARRY 38 - 71 - 1 35 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 15 - 0 35 | Turn 550 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 3 - 1 STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 6 3 BASHING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 6 - 3 BASHING ATTACK 4 - 6 3 AIMED BLOW SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 3 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY LUNGING ATTACK 10 - 9 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 6 1 LUNGING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 8 1 SLASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME BASHING ATTACK THE CRUSHER 8050 15 12 0 125 NEXT GENERATION (547) AIMED BLOW MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257 15 5 0 126 WASTELAND (207) SLASHING ATTACK THE BIGOT 9380 11 6 1 90 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) STRIKING ATTACK THE PEDOPHILE 9382 12 11 2 84 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) LUNGING ATTACK V'DO 9051 11 9 1 84 HELLBOURNE (653) TOTAL PARRY PETIT TROLL BAVEUX 8978 19 9 0 81 PENTARCHIE-18 (508) PARRY-RIPOSTE THE PHILANDERER 9384 14 10 1 81 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672) WALL OF STEEL ADAMANT 8075 9 7 1 80 GOLDEN LEGION (591) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is SMELL CAREFULLY 8889. The most popular warrior this turn was QUICKDEATH 9407. The ten other most popular fighters were ADAMANT 8075, STROMTIUM 90 9413, UNGOOD 9297, AKAI 9213, DARTH SION 9233, LEONIDAS 8537, BLUE MOON 9373, THE CRUSHER 8050, XYLICARE 9317, and SUPPLE 9466. The least popular fighter this week was GEORGE LYNCH 9456. The other ten least popular fighters were VERSE THREE 9462, CANDY LI 9458, ELEMENT 119 9467, POND 9324, ZEBRA SOLE 9444, GOLDEN BARB 9370, THORIUM 9154, BLOODRAW 9408, MERCURY 9155, and URANIUM 657. The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: 'SLOSHERS (18-8460) ARROGANCE (347) JANUARY FACE-TO-FACE IN TEMPE! Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 12-14, 2007. It will be held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as last year by popular request. Room rates are $149.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's reception (yes, really!), free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool. The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation by December 15 before the block is released! (This is prime season for Phoenix, and several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.) Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. We hope you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!