DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/15/2007    Duedate: 01/27/2007

TALCAMA ARENA

DM-18    TURN-553

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

UNGOOD
CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
(18-9297) [14-2-0,126]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LEONIDAS                       POSITION IS EMPTY
UNTOUCHABLES (287)             
(18-8537) [21-4-1,148]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SMELL CAREFULLY                OAKLAND FU
STREET PIZZA (106)             BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
(18-8889) [23-27-2,103]        (18-9424) [3-4-0,19]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CENTER FOR OLDS (108)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. UNTOUCHABLES (287)          43
2. GOLDEN LEGION (591)         36      HELLBOURNE (653)
3. CENTER FOR OLDS (108)       28      Unchartered Team
4. WASTELAND (207)             25
5. SHEPHERDS (252)             23      DOWNWARD SPIRAL (446)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 HELLBOURNE (653)          76  49  4 60.8   1/ 4 CENTER FOR OLDS (108)     9  6 1
 2- 3 NEXT GENERATION (547)    196 130 10 60.1   2/ 1 BIG MEAN FISH (171)       9  6 0
 3- 4*JGW PERISHIBLE (663)       3   2  1 60.0   3/ 2 SHEPHERDS (252)           9  6 0
 4- 6 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)      118 104  5 53.2   4/ 3 UNTOUCHABLES (287)        9  6 0
 5/ 7 WASTELAND (207)          705 647 43 52.1   5/ 5 WASTELAND (207)           6  3 0
 6/ 9 BURN N' PILLAGE (218)    719 682 34 51.3   6/ 7 BURN N' PILLAGE (218)     5 10 0
 7/ 8 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)    141 135 11 51.1   7/17 GOLDEN LEGION (591)       4  5 0
 8/10 CENTER FOR OLDS (108)    975 947 62 50.7   8/ 6 ARROGANCE (347)           4  5 0
 9/11 BIG MEAN FISH (171)      710 725 36 49.5   9/12 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)     4  6 0
10/12 STREET PIZZA (106)       712 799 54 47.1  10-13*JGW PERISHIBLE (663)      3  2 1
11-13 PENTARCHIE-18 (508)      297 349 10 46.0  11-11 PENTARCHIE-18 (508)       3  2 0
12/14 SHEPHERDS (252)          664 807 34 45.1  12/19 RUN AND HYDE (537)        3  6 0
13/16 UNTOUCHABLES (287)       216 281 16 43.5  13/ 8 CAROLINA BLUE (575)       3 12 0
14/18 GOLDEN LEGION (591)       44  59  1 42.7  14- 9 FUNKY FOLK (625)          2  0 1
15/17 RUN AND HYDE (537)       108 146 13 42.5  15/15 STREET PIZZA (106)        2  1 0
16/15 CAROLINA BLUE (575)       24  34  0 41.4  16/18 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)    2  7 0
17-19 FUNKY FOLK (625)          43  64  7 40.2  17-14 NEXT GENERATION (547)     1  1 0
18-20 ARENA EXPERTS (673)       14  23  2 37.8  18/16 HELLBOURNE (653)          1  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/21 ARROGANCE (347)          433 764 27 36.2  19-22 HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)       0  1 0
20/22 STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)    87 161  7 35.1  20-21 ARENA EXPERTS (673)       0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     It was a fairly average Tuesday.
     Suave sat on his exercise bike.  Or was it a rowing machine?  A Bowflex?  He
partially wished he remembered to keep the instructions--or even the box--for his
most recent Christmas gift.  Then again, what was TUM doing trying to get healthy in
the LBA?  Wasn't this an association predicated on Entemann's cherry cheese danish
and honey mustard pretzels?  Suave's biggest contribution to the health world was not
going outside with his shirt off on a sunny day; why ruin that now?
     As he repositioned a handle on the mechanical contraption, something snapped.
He couldn't determine if it was the equipment or a joint, so he quit while he was
ahead and went to the fridge for a cup of instant pudding.  Tuesdays were relatively
slow in Talcama, Arthur's ran like a sundial on a cloudy day, and life was generally
calm.  Until--
     CRASH!  Downstairs, something clattered to the floor.  Glass broke.  Something
else banged and if Suave wasn't mistaken, the bowling balls must have fallen out of
their case.  What else could cause such a cacophony?
     Suave scooped out tapioca goodness as he left his office.  Looking out over
Arthur's, it was somewhere between surprising and stupid:  Den.  The new manager
straddled a large horse where Table 15 used to be.  He dismounted and stomped a
leather boot through a chair.  "I am so totally going to dominate this worthless
place!"
     Suave set the remainder of his pudding on a banister and dismissed the wait
staff to the back room.  "Um...Den?  Can I help you?"
     Den pulled a megaphone from a saddle pack and announced, "I HAVE CONQUERED THE
BEST AND NOW I WILL DECIMATE THE REST OF YOU!"
     "Den?" Suave countered, "You do realize this is a tavern, don't you?"
     Den strutted across the floor, breaking anything and everything in his path,
until he stood inches away from the long-time Talcaman.  He raised the megaphone to
his mouth and declared, "SUAVE!  IT IS A CRIME THAT YOU STEAL OXYGEN FROM THE REST OF
US!  EVEN IF IT DOESN'T REACH YOUR BRAIN!"
     "Please put that down.  It's really obnoxious.  This is a bar. If you'd like a
drink--"
     "YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF MYSELF AND BILL!  YOU ARE POWERLESS TO STOP US!"
     "You're going to have to pay for all this damage.  This is Arthur's.  You can't
just ride a horse into a tavern, destroy stuff and walk away."
     "I CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE!"
     "No, Den.  You can't.  You can't earn respect.  You can't hold a reasonable
conversation.  You can't make the arena any better.  Hell, you can't even fight half
the people you'd like to because everyone avoids you.  Not just in the arena.  I 
mean, it's a good thing that you have Bill here in town because it must get lonely
when he's preoccupied."
     "YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OF ME!"
     "Actually, Den, you have that covered.  Now if you could take your horse and
leave, I'll send you a bill."
     "BUT THE OTHER MANAGERS ADMIRE ME IN SECRET!  THEY SHIVER IN DISGUST AT YOUR
LOWLY--"
     "Go.  Please.  Take your horse with you."
     "YOU'RE NOT EVEN WITTY LIKE YOU CLAIM, SUAVE!  ANY SHARP MAN WOULD SAY TO DO
NASTY THINGS TO ME AND THE HORSE I RODE IN ON!  THAT'S AN EASY ONE!"
     "Put it in a letter, Den.  Mail it to me.  But please give me sufficient time to
respond; I'm a slow reader."
     "IF YOU IGNORE ME, I DON'T JUST GO AWAY!  IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE YOUR ARMY-BOOTS
WEARING MOTHER TOLD YOU!"
     "I'm not ignoring you.  I'm treating you with the same class that you treat--how
did you put it?  The 'Armpit of Alastari'?  If you don't like it here, then leave.
If you do like it here, by all means, stay.  Fight to kill.  Do whatever it is you
do.  But don't expect anyone to listen, respect, or care an iota about what you do.
Arthur's has been here for 15 years.  Many of the locals have been here just as long.
Now if you excuse me, I have to fix up your mess before the regulars come in.  It is,
after all, poke her night."
     "YOU'RE UGLY, SUAVE!"
     "Sure.  Whatever.  Please go now."
     "I WILL DOMINATE YOU IN THE ARENA, I WILL DOMINATE YOU IN YOUR GUILDHOUSE, I
WILL DOMI--"
     "Do us all a favor, Den, and dominate your laundry.  Thanks.  I can't say I
enjoyed this little conversation, but hopefully we both learned from this little
chat."
     "I KNOW EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW."
     "Just as I feared.  For that matter, just as I suspected."
     Suave reached up and yanked the megaphone from Den.  He snapped it in half over
his knee and shook his head.  "Listen, Den.  I'm going to say this one last time.
Talcama has established itself as a great arena full of past and present tournament
champions.  I have nothing to do with that.  Talcamans have sat on all the highest
thrones in the game.  I've had a handful of Tower Guardians and I don't play Primus,
so I take little credit there.  What have I done?  I've graduated nearly thirty
warriors here.  I've created a bulk portion of Talcama's history.  One thousand wins
may be a feat of longevity, but less than a dozen have ever accomplished it in ANY
basic arena.  Unless you've graduated an undefeated warrior, I've done everything
you've ever done in a basic arena.  So shut up.  Or, at the very least, entertain me.
Because you don't.  Your act is old and tired.  I'm unimpressed.  Good bye."
     With that, Suave returned upstairs to finish his pudding peacefully.  He closed
and locked his office door.  Moments later, Den banged loudly.  "LET ME IN!  I'M NOT
DONE!"
     "Of course you aren't," Suave whispered under his breath.  "Nor am I."
     With that, the mustachioed one reached into his mini-fridge and took a second
cup of tapioca.  What better way to spend a Tuesday?

                                      SPY REPORT

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  Nothing is certain in TALCAMA, with changing 
loyalties, changing Duelmasters.  Write this down:  new top team--CENTER FOR OLDS.  
CAROLINA BLUE after a sorry 1-4-0 might want to consider abandoning the sands and 
taking up singing the 'Can't fight no more' blues!  Good things come to those who 
fight well, as WASTELAND can attest, moving up by 0.  Practice pays for SUPPLE, who 
pummelled ZEBRA SOLE, to pocket 15 points.  THE PHILANDERER certainly had a baffled 
expression on his face, after losing to ADAMANT and losing 10 points in the process!  
Duelmaster UNGOOD from CENTER FOR OLDS is going for the gold, as it Bloodfeuded BIG 
MEAN FISH's VOLITAN LIONFISH.  Ooh, the excitement!  UNGOOD successfully staved off a 
grab for the roses by VOLITAN LIONFISH of BIG MEAN FISH.  Does TALCAMA have no one 
talented enough to dethrone it?  So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable 
walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     So much to report, so little time!  Perhaps the warriors of IMPURE THOUGHTS 
should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team...  As a woman of good 
breeding scorns the "warriors" of CENTER FOR OLDS, so did that sorry team shy from 
IMPURE THOUGHTS Is it charming personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral 
hygiene?  Whatever it is, RAYMOND FELTON is the most challenged warrior.  As a 
confidence booster, LEONIDAS challenged HOFFA, down 50 points.  Do you also slay 
vicious rodents in your spare time, LEONIDAS?  Warriors of TALCAMA!  Do you wish your 
reputations tainted by the base challenge of LEONIDAS?  Take heed TALCAMA, of the 
unprincipled action of VISTA BLOWS.  By challenging MISSION VAO, 25 points below it, 
VISTA BLOWS besmirches the noble art of dueling.  VISTA BLOWS beat MISSION VAO with a 
point difference of 25.  So this is what TALCAMA calls a duel.  This will make an 
interesting tale.  Them's the breaks, DARTH SION.  Expecting fair challenges from 
SHEPHERDS is evidently too much to ask.  GAD beat DARTH SION.  The whole thing leaves 
a bitter memory.  THE BIGOT challenged SMELL CAREFULLY!  Who says IMPURE THOUGHTS are 
just a bunch of wimps!  THE BIGOT of IMPURE THOUGHTS kept his wits as he was subdued 
by SMELL CAREFULLY.   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
Never one to advocate diplomacy and restraint, I was pleased to see CAROLINA BLUE 
retaliate against CENTER FOR OLDS in bloodfeud!  Oh hard!  that to strike a flame, 
the match itself must needs be wasting!   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  More important duties call me.  TALCAMA, I leave 
you now.  The Duelmaster has agreed to foot my bill at The Original Arthur's Last 
Stand.  'Til next time-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UNGOOD 9297                  14   2  0   126       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEONIDAS 8537                21   4  1   148       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
 VISTA BLOWS 9258             16   7  0   115       WASTELAND (207)
 THE PEDOPHILE 9382           14  11  2   112       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
-MARV JR 9288                  7   1  0   104       WASTELAND (207)
 SMELL CAREFULLY 8889         23  27  2   103       STREET PIZZA (106)
 ARETE 8969                    9  12  1   102       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
-DATA LOSS 8029               19   8  0   101       NEXT GENERATION (547)
-DREW PEA 8765                12  12  3    99       FUNKY FOLK (625)
-SOUND THE VANILLA! 9209      14   3  0    97       WASTELAND (207)
 ADAMANT 8075                 10   8  1    94       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
-KA'ZEEN 8858                 11   9  0    93       HELLBOURNE (653)
 ENTEK 9151                   14  19  0    91       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOFFA 8478                    8  65  0    89       ARROGANCE (347)
 HK-47 8584                   17  37  0    88       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
 CHARNEL 8575                 12   7  1    88       RUN AND HYDE (537)
-V'DO 9051                    11   9  1    84       HELLBOURNE (653)
 MISSION VAO 8891             16  34  1    83       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
 THE PHILANDERER 9384         15  11  1    82       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
-PETIT TROLL BAVEUX 8978      19  10  0    80       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
 MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 9257        16   7  0    74       WASTELAND (207)
 GAD 9239                     12  12  1    70       SHEPHERDS (252)
 THE BIGOT 9380               11   8  1    70       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLEECE 9211                  12   6  0    66       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
-DINAH MIGHT 9229              6   2  1    66       FUNKY FOLK (625)
-INDENTURED OARSMAN 9167       6   3  0    65       SEA DOGS (224)
 MICHAEL JORDAN 7797          10   4  0    64       CAROLINA BLUE (575)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MERVYN 8750                  10   7  1    54       RUN AND HYDE (537)
 VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421         3   5  1    54       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
-URANIUM 657                  11  13  2    50       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 THE VOYEUR 9377               9   7  0    48       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
 DARTH SION 9233              11  14  0    47       STAR WARS: KOTOR (624)
 AKAI 9213                     9  17  2    47       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
 GOOSE 9277                    6   5  0    46       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
-BIG GLOU GLAIREAUX 9044       8  11  0    43       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
 PROGIDY, DAMMIT! 9446         4   2  0    42       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
 DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321           8   2  0    40       WASTELAND (207)
 MANAGER 9303                  6  10  0    38       ARROGANCE (347)
 GOLDEN BARB 9370              8   2  0    36       BIG MEAN FISH (171)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 XYLICARE 9317                 8   5  0    34       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SHEWISH WHALER 9272           3   1  0    33       SEA DOGS (224)
-CRUSHING BRATZ 9153           2   0  0    33       NEXT GENERATION (547)
 Z'DANE 9281                   5   2  1    32       HELLBOURNE (653)
-POSTMORTEM 9402               2   4  0    30       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
 PEZ 9471                      2   1  0    28       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
 ADAM 9441                     5   1  1    26       SHEPHERDS (252)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JONAH 9428                    3   4  0    23       SHEPHERDS (252)
 HOFFA 9369                    6   4  0    22       ARROGANCE (347)
 ROY WILLIAMS 9336             3   3  0    21       CAROLINA BLUE (575)
 SUPPLE 9466                   2   2  0    20       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
-JEFFERY FOX 9133              1   0  0    20       JGW PERISHIBLE (663)
 OAKLAND FU 9424               3   4  0    19       BURN N' PILLAGE (218)
 JB BLAH 9478                  1   1  1    18       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
-BLOODRAW 9408                 5   2  0    17       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
 THE LIFEGUARD 9480            2   0  0    17       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
 RAYMOND FELTON 9419           3   3  0    16       CAROLINA BLUE (575)
-SALLY FOURTH 9367             2   1  0    16       FUNKY FOLK (625)
 SHINE 9465                    2   2  0    16       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
-THORIUM 9154                  3   5  1    15       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 ERA 9457                      1   0  0    15       GOLDEN LEGION (591)
 MESHACH 9440                  4   2  0    14       SHEPHERDS (252)
-JAMES PERRY 9134              1   0  0    13       JGW PERISHIBLE (663)
 ZEBRA SOLE 9444               3   3  0    12       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
-QUICKDEATH 9407               2   5  1    12       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-BRIAN PERRY 9132              1   0  1    11       JGW PERISHIBLE (663)
-ROSE BUSH 9327                1   0  1    11       FUNKY FOLK (625)
 PEACOCK FLOUNDER 9445         2   4  0    10       BIG MEAN FISH (171)
-ZIZANE 9322                   1   1  0    10       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
-MERCURY 9155                  1   6  0     9       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 THE FORNICATOR 9429           1   5  0     8       IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
-T. HENRY 9323                 1   1  1     7       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
-SHEWISH CORSAIR 9237          0   1  0     7       SEA DOGS (224)
-ILLFACET 9401                 1   3  0     6       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-STROMTIUM 90 9413             0   4  0     6       HEAVYMETAL KIDS (4)
 RAINDROP 9464                 1   2  0     5       UNTOUCHABLES (287)
-BABEL LE BAVARD 9477          1   0  0     5       PENTARCHIE-18 (508)
 ELLIOT 9479                   0   2  0     2       CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
-HORSEHEAD 9487                0   1  0     1       ARENA EXPERTS (673)
-JENNY DAVISON 9130            0   1  0     1       JGW PERISHIBLE (663)
-ERIC MILLER 9131              0   1  0     1       JGW PERISHIBLE (663)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DOC STEELE 8890        9 37 0 ARROGANCE 347         SMELL CAREFULLY 8889  549 NOT REVE
CANDY LI 9458          0  1 0 BURN N' PILLAGE 218   ROSE BUSH 9327        550         
GEORGE LYNCH 9456      0  4 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575     AVENGING ZILTHORN 431 553 NONE    
DA1 9492               0  1 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575     BLACK ORC 424         553 NONE    
RASHEED WALLACE 9439   1  2 0 CAROLINA BLUE 575     JB BLAH 9478          552 JUST REV
BUBOLA 9319            4  6 0 CENTER FOR OLDS 108   VOLITAN LIONFISH 9421 550 JUST REV
YEARS 9493             0  1 0 GOLDEN LEGION 591     SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 553 NONE    
ELEMENT 119 9467       0  1 0 HEAVYMETAL KIDS 4     T. HENRY 9323         550         
UNO 9494               0  1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537      WIRYDON THE GIANT 425 553 NONE    
DOS 9495               0  1 0 RUN AND HYDE 537      SPYMISTRESS SHARD 426 553 NONE    
FAT FOR FOOD 9489      0  1 0 SHEPHERDS 252         WIRYDON THE GIANT 425 553 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Den -- Unless you up the ante, you're not worth my time.  I hope you stay and develop
some originality.  Otherwise, good luck wherever you go. -- Suave

A-Sop -- One positive effect:  You have some new candidates for team names. -- Suave

Apex -- Sheed was going to technical foul his way out of the arena anyway. -- Blah

JGW -- Welcome to Talcama.  Stop by Arthur's for a drink, some good food, and if you
get there before 10 tonight, we can probably squeeze you in for a game of poke her.
-- Suave

TUM -- You ever going to trust your imagination and believe the information, or are
you going to take Solsbury home?  If so, have you paid enough attention to bring
anyone else here?  Eesh. -- Suave

18 December 2006
Let it be known that Buddy Lee is no longer a member of The Company of Brothers,
T.C.B.  I have resigned as of 10-23-06.  Thank you.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GEORGE LYNCH was butchered by AVENGING ZILTHORN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
YEARS was butchered by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FAT FOR FOOD was murdered by WIRYDON THE GIANTESS in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
UNO was murdered by WIRYDON THE GIANTESS in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DA1 was slaughtered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DOS was assassinated by SPYMISTRESS SHARDA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
UNGOOD demolished VOLITAN LIONFISH in a 1 minute Bloodfeud Title competition.
MICHAEL JORDAN vanquished JB BLAH in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud fight.
LEONIDAS overpowered HOFFA in a popular 2 minute gruesome mismatched Challenge brawl.
CHARNEL lost to ARETE in a action packed 1 minute gory expert's Challenge duel.
THE PHILANDERER lost to ADAMANT in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
VISTA BLOWS overpowered MISSION VAO in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
THE BIGOT was overpowered by SMELL CAREFULLY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
GAD devastated DARTH SION in a 2 minute brutal mismatched Challenge conflict.
THE VOYEUR was demolished by MR. DUTCH CRUNCH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
ROY WILLIAMS was handily defeated by PROGIDY, DAMMIT! in a 1 minute conflict.
MESHACH was vanquished by MANAGER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
RAYMOND FELTON was vanquished by ADAM in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fray.
SHINE devastated THE FORNICATOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
THE PEDOPHILE overpowered ENTEK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
WOLF CICHLID overpowered HK-47 in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FLEECE overcame AKAI in a popular 2 minute gory master's competition.
GOOSE lost to MERVYN in a popular 3 minute match.
GOLDEN BARB unbelievably bested OAKLAND FU in a action packed 7 minute bloody duel.
DWIGHT SCHRUTE savagely defeated Z'DANE in a 3 minute gory match.
XYLICARE overpowered PEACOCK FLOUNDER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
JONAH overpowered ELLIOT in a 2 minute one-sided duel.
ZEBRA SOLE was defeated by SUPPLE in a action packed 1 minute match.
HOFFA was beaten by PEZ in a 2 minute duel.
THE LIFEGUARD viciously subdued RAINDROP in a exciting 3 minute beginner's bout.
ERA vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         AIMED BLOW        53 -  28 -  0      65  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         SLASHING ATTACK   31 -  26 -  1      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  34 -  3      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         LUNGING ATTACK    63 -  64 -  7      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  12 -  2      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  24 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         STRIKING ATTACK   30 -  42 -  5      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  16 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  28 -  0      36  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       32 -  68 -  1      32  |

Turn 553 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         7 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  8         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         1  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  6         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   UNGOOD 9297                14   2  0  126 CENTER FOR OLDS (108)
AIMED BLOW       LEONIDAS 8537              21   4  1  148 UNTOUCHABLES (287)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE PEDOPHILE 9382         14  11  2  112 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
WALL OF STEEL    ADAMANT 8075               10   8  1   94 GOLDEN LEGION (591)
LUNGING ATTACK   CHARNEL 8575               12   7  1   88 RUN AND HYDE (537)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    THE PHILANDERER 9384       15  11  1   82 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE BIGOT 9380             11   8  1   70 IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
TOTAL PARRY      MERVYN 8750                10   7  1   54 RUN AND HYDE (537)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SMELL CAREFULLY 8889.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was OAKLAND FU 9424.  The ten other most popular fighters were FLEECE 9211, 
LEONIDAS 8537, GOOSE 9277, THE LIFEGUARD 9480, DARTH SION 9233, DWIGHT SCHRUTE 9321, 
PEZ 9471, VISTA BLOWS 9258, Z'DANE 9281, and ARETE 8969.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 9369.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were ELLIOT 9479, PEACOCK FLOUNDER 9445, HK-47 8584, ENTEK 9151, THE 
FORNICATOR 9429, RAYMOND FELTON 9419, MESHACH 9440, ROY WILLIAMS 9336, THE VOYEUR 
9377, and THE BIGOT 9380.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

LEONIDAS (18-8537) UNTOUCHABLES (287)
THE PEDOPHILE (18-9382) IMPURE THOUGHTS (672)
SMELL CAREFULLY (18-8889) STREET PIZZA (106)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

WOLF CICHLID (18-9253) BIG MEAN FISH (171)