Date   : 02/17/2005    Duedate: 03/02/2005


DM-19    TURN-503

This Weeks Top Honors


(19-4228) [14-11-2,96]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SIT                            JERRY ATTRICKS
VALHALLA (344)                 FUNKY FOLK IV (405)
(19-4228) [14-11-2,96]         (19-4797) [4-2-0,28]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WHITE WOLF                     SIT
(19-3878) [9-15-0,45]          (19-4228) [14-11-2,96]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. FUNKY FOLK IV (405)         39
2. VALHALLA (344)              36      BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)
3. JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)       19      Unchartered Team
4. ANARCHY (342)                0
5. BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)    -4      FUNKY FOLK IV (405)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)   8   6  0 57.1   1/ 1 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241)  9  6 0
 2/ 1*FUNKY FOLK IV (405)       13  10  0 56.5   2/ 2 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)     6  8 1
 3/ 2 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)    257 306 18 45.6   3/ 3*FUNKY FOLK IV (405)       4  2 0
 4- 3 ANARCHY (342)            160 194 22 45.2   4/ 0 VALHALLA (344)            2  1 0
 5/ 4 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241) 269 362 12 42.6   5- 4 ANARCHY (342)             1  2 1
 6/ 0 VALHALLA (344)           108 175 13 38.2   6/ 0 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)  0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon ZUWAYZA, for 
I, Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  Say what you will about blind luck and dirty 
fighting, but FUNKY FOLK IV will tell you 13-10-0 is nothing to laugh at...  FUNKY 
FOLK IV had cause to celebrate, after SANDY BEECH got 19 points by beating SPORTS 
III.  WHITE WOLF certainly had a baffled expression on hers face, after losing to 
BHAGWANDASS and losing 10 points in the process!  In ZUWAYZA, nothing is permanent 
(except Death), and we find ourselves a new Duelmaster, SIT.  So who was the warrior 
seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic 
     And how sociable are ZUWAYZA's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Is it charming 
personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, (PLAIN 
WRAPPER) is the most challenged warrior.   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
The audience gave a nice round of rasberries to TRAVEL HOLIDAY of THE MAGNIFICENT 
MAGS, for expiring in such an ungraceful fashion.  5-4-0, indeed!  Ask not a 
spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an 
unconscious stupor.   
     Do not think spyreporting in ZUWAYZA is the highlight of my life.  More 
important duties call me.  Do not despair!  I shall return!-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIT 4228                     14  11  2    96       VALHALLA (344)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DING HAO 4750                 9   3  2    91       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989          22  13  0    87       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
 DYER, RHEA 4181               7   3  0    69       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BHAGWANDASS 4595              5   3  0    66       VALHALLA (344)
-GULF COAST D 4789             5   1  0    60       ANARCHY (342)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VED BUENS ENDE 4749           6   6  3    53       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
 WHITE WOLF 3878               9  15  0    45       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
-SIMON'S REVENGE 4791          4   5  0    36       ANARCHY (342)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JERRY ATTRICKS 4797           4   2  0    28       FUNKY FOLK IV (405)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DAYNE JEROUS 4792             3   0  0    22       FUNKY FOLK IV (405)
 ELLE 4003                     2   2  0    22       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
 (PLAIN WRAPPER) 4004          3   1  0    21       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
 DEO VOLENTE 4751              4   7  0    19       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
 SANDY BEECH 4811              1   0  0    19       FUNKY FOLK IV (405)
 SFORNO OBADJA 4662            1  14  0    17       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
-HEAD, LOOSE 4801              1   0  0    13       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)
 LIZA LOTT 4813                1   0  0     5       FUNKY FOLK IV (405)
 SPORTS III 4812               1   1  0     4       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
-NORMALACY 4800                0   4  0     4       ANARCHY (342)
 B 4182                        0   1  0     3       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
LEE VIATHON 4810       0  1 0 FUNKY FOLK IV 405     SHEWISH GIANT 381     503 NONE    
TRAVEL HOLIDAY 3992    5  4 0 THE MAGNIFICENT M 241 VED BUENS ENDE 4749   503         
VALTRON 4648           2  4 1 VALHALLA 344          SPYMASTER 382         503 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Travel Holiday -- Don't know where Noachian gets our names.  Sometimes it means
something, most time it don't mean anything at all.  Adara's name means flowering
virgin or something like that.  My name if anything, is probably a curse, 'cause I've
lost 13 fights in a row after winning my first. -- Sforno Obadja

White Wolf -- You are good.  At least I lasted two minutes that time.  I'm trying to
get some insight to your strategy, so we'll fight again. -- Ved Buens Ende

Convicted Assassin -- I bet he has never killed a fly.  Not to say he isn't guilty of
whatever crime he committed.  He just can't kill a fly. -- Ding Hao

Travel Holiday -- You are no holiday.  You are a thief.  Stealing precious skills
from me.  Now I've got to learn them all over again. -- Deo Volente

(Plain Wrapper) -- I can't believe I lost to you.  Is that like losing to a paper
bag?  I'd don't know why I'm still alive, I'm one of Noachian's experiments.  He
wants to see how long it'll take to graduate a really bad roll-up.  So I'll be here
until I graduate or one of you kills me.  I'm hoping to get at least one more win
before I graduate. -- Sforno Obadja

Ved Buens Ende -- Well, *I* thought that was a buen ende!  Thanks for losing, and
thanks for not dying.  I really don't want to decrease the arena population here. --
White Wolf

Jerry Attricks -- (wincing)  For an old guy, you're spry. -- Elle

Sforno Obadja -- I must admit that I enjoyed that one, even if it wasn't kinky. --
(Plain Wrapper)

Deo Volente -- Your height would make it very difficult to find you comfortable
accommodations in any of the hotels on my list.  Have you considered camping out? --
Travel Holiday
P.S.  True, that is a...not-luxurious sort of holiday, but some people aren't made
for luxury.  Poor ones, for instance.  And the very, very tall.
P.P.S.  Change your train.  Try the Denver & Rio Grande Western.

     The very, very tall do better in very, very luxurious places.  It's the merely
     semi-luxurious places that have short beds. -- Ed., who has had to learn these

The Mordant Deserter's a Rirorni!  Scum, that's what they are, nothing but scum.
Barbarians and worse.  He should be killed. -- Sports Ill.
P.S.  That should be Sports ILL (as in Illustrated).  But is Jorja likely to correct
it?  Not much.
P.P.S.  WHAT!?  My charisma is only AVERAGE, my attractiveness and courage are LOW,
but I'm very TRUSTWORTHY?  Gee, thanks, Commish.  At least you recognized that I'm

Mystic -- That's the way it goes out west.  Dry-gulched by mistake.  Oh, well. --
Ghost of Wild West

Ryan -- It was just one of those things.  No hard feelings then or now. -- Jorja

Citizens of Alastari -- Like a mace to the back of the head, like a sudden shift of
wind coming down from the outhouse, like an unexpected visit from the tax man, like a
toothless smile of a 9 month-old who knows he just did a stinky in his diaper and YOU
have to change it, I, Overlord Odin, oh so unexpectedly  have returned to ruin your
otherwise enjoyable pathetic lives!!!  Hope you all enjoyed the lengthy reprieve from
my ill temper, evil tongue, and wicked warriors.  Because as of today, YOUR REPRIEVE
IS OVER!!!!  Gentlemen of this quaint village, say hello to your old buddy HAN SOLO.
Because of now, all the lovelies will spending their evenings at the Halls Of
Valhalla.  Fathers, don't bother locking your daughters up cause they'll escape
Odin, Valhalla

Please note, while Jekyll may have been more lenient in his rule of this pathetic
plane, I will not be so.  I am here by reinstating all of the LAW OF THE OVERLORD.
All filth ridden species on this plane will follow the following rules or forfeit
their meaningless lives:

Rule #1 -- When an Overlord or a Disciple comes within a person's eyesight, all
beings must bow down on their knees.  There is to be no more then a 3 inch space
between the person's face and ground.  Bowing too low or not low enough by even half
an inch to the ground will result in a swift mace to the back of the head.

Rule #2 -- All whiskey that has been aged beyond twenty years but not more then
thirty-five years will be delivered to the Halls Of Valhalla immediately.  The same
goes for all wenches between those ages as well.  Defiance of this rule will result
in a swift mace to the back of the head.

Rule #3 -- All cattle of good health, all hogs of good girth, and all fruit of good
quality (I dislike vegetables, especially squash) will brought forth to the Halls Of
Valhalla as tribute to your new rulers.  Defiance of this rule will result in a swift
mace to the back of the head.

Rule #4 -- None shall speak, address, or even so much as breathe in the presence of
an Overlord or a Disciple unless so commanded.  Defiance of this rule will result in
a swift mace to the back of the head.

Rule #5 -- On the rare privilege that your worthless carcass is commanded to speak,
you WILL address your superiors in this matter "Thank you for allowing me to speak oh
magnificent one, he who has killed a thousand by sun-up and will have killed a
thousand more before breakfast, he who has spilled enough blood to fill an ocean, he
whose loins have fathered a million children, he who I thank for the very privilege
of drawing my next breath, he who has command over my every movement, I, your
worthless, pathetic excuse for a living thing, thank you for the opportunity to
speak."  Having said this, the person commanded to speak will shut up and your
majestic superiors will then tell you what you were going to say.  Defiance of this
rule will result in a swift mace to the back of the head.

Rule #7 -- No sorry excuse for a waste of living tissue will so much as look, touch,
kick, spit or fart in the direction of my ex-wife.  Defiance of this rule will result
in...a reward of 1000 gold coins.  Gods she's annoying!!!!!

And the final and most important rule, Rule #8 -- All bunny rabbits are to be banned
from the land immediately.  They will be hunted until every last one has been wiped
from the face of this puny planet.  All will take part in this noble effort.  Why
must this be undertaken?  Have you seen their demonic noses?  Their beady little
eyes?  Their monstrous long ears?  They are to be feared above all creatures, yeah,
the rumors of even Overlords fearing these ghastly, horrifying beasts is rumored to
be true.  Again, all people of the land will take part in the obliteration of the
bunny rabbits!!!  Defiance of this rule will result in a...yep, you guessed it!...a
swift mace to the back of the head.

Wait, did I just hear something?  Did some one utter the name of that worthless
dead-and-not-of-much-use-when-he-was-alive Kjarran?  I'LL BET IT WAS YOU!!  YOU LOOK

You may all now go back to your meaningless, pathetic, worthless, unimaginative,
repulsive, demeaning, pointless, of no value, insignificant, useless, rubbish, empty,
hollow, meaningless lives.  Thank you and have a rotten evening! -- Odin

     I suppose it's rather out of place to welcome you back after all that.... *grin*
     -- Ed.

15 January 2005
     BR 4 is upon us!  First turn is due on 1/29/05.  Many thanks to RSI for helping
supply a great prize for the winner and those who meet the 90% endurance criteria.
     Winning prize:  6 months free play, a +1 bonus potion, a limited damage potion,
a favorites knowledge potion, a minor stat-switch prize, and renaming a Dark Arena
     Endurance prizes:  a +1 bonus potion to all teams that fight 90% of the possible
fights during the contest.
     For details, visit Talcama's newletter or
     To join, simply bring a team to DM 18, announce your entry in the personals, and
follow the very simple rule of not avoiding!

31 January 2005
     My fellow duelists I come before you bearing a sad and unfortunate message.
Several months ago our group, the Vendetta Cartel, had lost contact with one of our
friends.  Since he was in contact or correspondence on an almost daily basis there
was concern amongst us.  With some research two of our members discovered why contact
was lost with him.
     On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
ill.  You may have known Rich as Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest ; richh10 on the RT;
or gameogre on the Duel2 messageboard.  You may not have known that he spent 13 years
serving the United States in the Navy.
     Rich dearly loved this game and all it encompassed.  He may not have been the
best or most experienced manager but he loved to interact with others and was quick
to offer advice whenever anyone asked for help.  He was always kind and gracious and
tried to strengthen our game, often by helping new players feel welcome or give them
a chance to compete.  With his prolific posting I know that I am simply speaking the
obvious about what he did for our game.  Many, like me, were drawn to him, perhaps
for his kind nature or his sense of humor, and it appears he lived his life as he
played this game.  Always willing to help or do right by others.
     I realize that he had many friends outside the VC so I will include the link to
the news story in case any of his other friends would like to know more of what
happened.  We're all dealt a hand in life but it's not the strength of the hand
you're dealt but rather how you play it that really matters.  Rich played his hand to
the very best of his human ability and for this I admire him greatly.  I know we all
choose to like or dislike managers but I believe deep down we are all good and
decent, in this game, and will drop party (alliance) lines and will show the proper
     Rich was taken from us all to soon and with so much left to offer the community
around him.  He spoke of a desire to run a contest on the Duel2 site which I hope to
uphold in his name.  Some of the people I have spoken with think it would be a nice
gesture to do one final good act in Rich's name, though it could never match what he
would've done within his community, for his community of San Diego.  I hope that with
this contest we might raise a little money to donate to an appropriate charity within
San Diego in his name.
     In conclusion I send a message to Rich:
     "Rich, though I'm sure you gathered this I never really told you how much I
admired you and what a friend I considered you.  I thank you for being my voice of
reason and always reminding me of why we both loved this game so much!  You have
taught me one final valuable lesson in learning more of you.  There are things far
more valuable in life than material possessions such as character and kindness.  That
nothing going on in your life means that you cannot find a way to be kind and giving
to others.  We always spoke of meeting someday and until we finally do know that you
will live on in with me and the rest of your brothers and sisters in the Cartel:
Master Darque, Kat, Bum, Sensei Jan, Maximillian, Hammer, Fizban, Firehawk, Phat
Phat.  You increased all of our enjoyment of this game, you were a true ambassador of
Duelmasters, and the game will not be quite the same without you.  A farewell battle
cry from the ZalCon:  'Confusion to our enemies'.  May your soul rest in peace, my
     Should anyone wish to correspond about Rich feel free to contact myself, or
anyone else within the Vendetta Cartel.
     Street Legal
     Jeff Bura
     The Death Squad(63) in Tobir or triumph1971@hotmail.com

31 January 2005
     Be it known throughout Alastari that Hammer is no longer a member of the
Vendetta Cartel alliance.
     A difference of opinion with another highly respected member of the VC due to my
recent vocal actions in DM 47 can only be resolved by my resignation from the VC as
of January 29, 2005.
     I leave of my own accord, in good standing with all members and with no hard
feelings towards anyone in the Vendetta Cartel.
     There was a time when I felt that my membership in the VC made the alliance
stronger.  I know that my resignation today makes the Vendetta Cartel a stronger
alliance with my absence. -- Hammer

1 February 2005
                           St. Valentine's Massacre update
My apologies, the Kill Contest starting on turn 476 in Jhans will run for 10 (ten)
turns ending on turn number 486.

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

VALTRON was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LEE VIATHON was barely slain by SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
JERRY ATTRICKS viciously subdued DEO VOLENTE in a 1 minute gory Challenge match.
ADARA AL ZAHRA lost to SIT in a 1 minute master's Title brawl.
DYER, RHEA was overpowered by DING HAO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BHAGWANDASS devastated WHITE WOLF in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
TRAVEL HOLIDAY was assassinated by VED BUENS ENDE in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
(PLAIN WRAPPER) was devastated by AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
SFORNO OBADJA was handily defeated by ELLE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
SPORTS III was vanquished by SANDY BEECH in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
B lost to LIZA LOTT in a 1 minute novice's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   1 -  1      89  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   6 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         AIMED BLOW         9 -   7 -  1      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         LUNGING ATTACK    20 -  19 -  0      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         STRIKING ATTACK    3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  16 -  4      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 503 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  2         3  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1     
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  SIT 4228                   14  11  2   96 VALHALLA (344)
STRIKING ATTACK  DING HAO 4750               9   3  2   91 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
TOTAL PARRY      ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989        22  13  0   87 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
LUNGING ATTACK   DYER, RHEA 4181             7   3  0   69 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WHITE WOLF 3878.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SIT 4228.  The ten other most popular fighters were BHAGWANDASS 4595, ELLE 4003, 
ENDE 4749, LIZA LOTT 4813, DYER, RHEA 4181, and B 4182.

The least popular fighter this week was SPORTS III 4812.  The other ten least popular 
4181, and LIZA LOTT 4813.


     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."


     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)