DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/17/2005    Duedate: 03/30/2005

ZUWAYZA ARENA

DM-19    TURN-505

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

DING HAO
JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
(19-4750) [11-3-3,127]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DING HAO                       POSITION IS EMPTY
JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)          
(19-4750) [11-3-3,127]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WHITE WOLF                     BHAGWANDASS
THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)     VALHALLA (344)
(19-3878) [10-16-0,56]         (19-4595) [6-4-0,79]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. VALHALLA (344)              55
2. THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)   8      FUNKY FOLK (405)
3. FUNKY FOLK (405)             3      Unchartered Team
4. SWEDEN (407)                 0
5. BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)     0      GALATION WARRIORS (37)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 FUNKY FOLK (405)          17  12  0 58.6   1/ 1 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)     9  6 2
 2- 2 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)   8   6  0 57.1   2/ 2 FUNKY FOLK (405)          7  3 0
 3- 3*SWEDEN (407)               2   2  1 50.0   3/ 4 VALHALLA (344)            7  5 1
 4/ 4 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)    264 309 19 46.1   4- 5*SWEDEN (407)              2  2 1
 5/ 5 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241) 270 369 12 42.3   5/ 3 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241)  2 11 0
 6/ 6 VALHALLA (344)           113 179 14 38.7   6- 6 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)  0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Well, I'm surprised to be Duelmaster so soon.  I figured it would be a few more 
turns, but Sit decided to drop dead in the middle of our fight and here I am!  I 
think I'll stay awhile.

I expect Bhagwandass will bloodfeud this turn.  I say bring it on!  I'd like one more 
kill before I graduate.  My Lord Kjarran would be pleased to have more Valhallas 
sacrificed to him.  So everybody take a shot at Valhalla.

Welcome, Sweden, to the Holy City.  May the Blessings of Kjarran be with you.

Ding Hao
Servant of Kjarran
Jaguar Warrior

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon ZUWAYZA, for 
I, Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  VALHALLA had cause to celebrate, after YMIR got 21 
points by beating SANDY BEECH.  Win some, lose some.  Speaking of which, WHITE WOLF 
was winsome, after beating VED BUENS ENDE and seeing him lose 12 points.  VETERAN 
MERCENARY found out that ZUWAYZA isn't a democracy.  You've gotta be the best to be 
Duelmaster here!  So who's the team that's been walking into taverns last week and 
ordering milk?  Sounds like a PR stunt to me.   
     And how sociable are ZUWAYZA's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Perhaps the 
warriors of VALHALLA should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided 
team...  The warriors of VALHALLA found their efforts at combat frustrated as JAGUAR 
WARRIORS apparently had more important things to do than fight.  Is it charming 
personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, WHITE 
WOLF is the most challenged warrior.  Take heed ZUWAYZA, of the unprincipled action 
of ADARA AL ZAHRA.  By challenging BHAGWANDASS, 20 points below her, ADARA AL ZAHRA 
besmirches the noble art of dueling.  ADARA AL ZAHRA won victory over BHAGWANDASS 
with a point difference of 20.  So this is what ZUWAYZA calls a duel.  This will make 
an interesting tale.  Them's the breaks, SQUIWCK.  Expecting fair challenges from 
JAGUAR WARRIORS is evidently too much to ask.  Yes, Virginia, sometimes the little 
guy wins, as SQUIWCK proved, beating 19 point higher SFORNO OBADJA.   
     Ah, the duel!  The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd!  Justice was 
served as WHITE WOLF fought VED BUENS ENDE in bloodfeud.  Well done, THE MAGNIFICENT 
MAGS!  Questions are being raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the 
arena.  A certain tavern in ZUWAYZA would I avoid!   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  Keep those sands bloody and the buzzards fat!  
Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid ZUWAYZA farewell-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DING HAO 4750                11   3  3   127       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989          24  13  0    95       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BHAGWANDASS 4595              6   4  0    79       VALHALLA (344)
-DYER, RHEA 4181               7   3  0    69       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE WOLF 3878              10  16  0    56       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
-JERRY ATTRICKS 4797           5   2  0    48       FUNKY FOLK (405)
 VED BUENS ENDE 4749           6   8  3    35       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DAYNE JEROUS 4792             4   0  0    33       FUNKY FOLK (405)
 DEO VOLENTE 4751              6   7  0    28       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JILL OPPY 4821                2   0  0    24       FUNKY FOLK (405)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SQUIWCK 4823                  2   0  1    21       VALHALLA (344)
 SFORNO OBADJA 4662            2  15  0    21       JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
 YMIR 4832                     1   0  0    21       VALHALLA (344)
-HALFDAN 4818                  1   0  1    16       SWEDEN (407)
 (PLAIN WRAPPER) 4004          3   3  0    14       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
-KLYPP 4816                    1   0  0    13       SWEDEN (407)
 SURTUR 4830                   1   0  0    13       VALHALLA (344)
-HEAD, LOOSE 4801              1   0  0    13       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)
 ELLE 4003                     2   4  0    10       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
 SANDY BEECH 4811              1   1  0     8       FUNKY FOLK (405)
 SPORTS III 4812               1   3  0     6       THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241)
-LIZA LOTT 4813                1   1  0     4       FUNKY FOLK (405)
-B 4182                        0   1  0     3       BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364)
-YLVING 4815                   0   1  0     1       SWEDEN (407)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
TRAVEL HOLIDAY 3992    5  4 0 THE MAGNIFICENT M 241 VED BUENS ENDE 4749   503 JUST REV
JONAKR 4814            0  1 0 SWEDEN 407            SQUIWCK 4823          504         
SIT 4228              14 12 2 VALHALLA 344          DING HAO 4750         504         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Liza Lott -- Ilove you, I love you, I love you! -- Sforno Obadja

Master Odin -- One Win and counting! -- Sforno Obadja

Bhagwandass -- You're pretty good, but you're gonna need more than that to beat Ding. 
-- Ved Buens Ende

Sit -- I'm surprised I won, let alone killed you.  All I can say is: As Our Lord 
Kjarran wills it, so it shall be done. -- Ding Hao

Elle -- I think I'm getting the hang of things.  Didn't I see you at a House of 
Pleasure recently? -- Deo Volente

(Plain Wrapper) -- One hundred fights.  Well that's something to shoot for. -- Sforno 
Obadja

Sweden -- Welcome to the Holy City.  May the blessings of Our Lord Kjarran be upon 
you. -- Noachian, mgr. Jaguar Warriors

DING HAO -- NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  DING HAO, YOU HAVE KILLED THE GREAT VALHALLA 
DISCIPLE, SIT, MY COMRADE IN ARMS!!  I WILL DESTROY YOU!  I WILL GRIND YOUR FACE INTO 
THE SANDS WITH THE HEEL OF MY BOOT!!  I WILL RIP OFF YOUR OWN ARM AND BEAT YOU TO 
DEATH WITH IT!!!  I WILL POST YOUR HEAD ON THE END OF A PIKE AND PLANT IT IN THE TOWN 
SQUARE!!  SIT WAS A CUNNING WARRIOR!!  SIT WAS A GREAT DISCIPLE!  SIT 
WAS...was...well, actually, now that I think about, Sit was an a**hole.  He'd short 
sheet my bed, hide my long sword, and never did pay me back that 20 silver pieces he 
owed me.  Hell, I'm not even going to go into the night that jerk set me up on a 
blind date with his fat sister.  <shiver>  In fact, I'd say you did the world a 
favor.  Still, Sit was my teammate.  So when I run my sword through your spleen, rip 
out your heart, and feed it to my helldogs, try not to take it personally, okay?  
It's just business. -- Bwagwandass, Disciple Of Valahalla

Noachian, Lapdog of Kjarran, Miss-manager of Jaguar Warriors, King For Life of the 
Zuwayza Moron Club -- Heh, ya know, if you trained your warrior, Adara Al Zahra, for 
two more weeks, was real careful, real quite, and sneaked very slowly, he MIGHT 
actually be able to ambush my deceased warrior Sit in his grave and actually win!  
No, actually with your warrior's skills, Adara would probably trip, fall, and peirce 
his own gut with his own sword.  How Ding Hoa beat Sit much less killed him is 
confounding beyond belief.  I'm wondering if Carnage or Jekyll substituted the real 
Ding Hao with one of their Disciples as a practical joke.  And if they did, to bad 
for you, cause Bwagwandass is going to do the Cha-Cha on your warrior's guts from 
here to Asgard and back.  Enjoy the throne while you can, cause its gonna be a hell 
of a short reign. -- Odin, mgr Valahalla

Ghost Of JONAKR -- Whew!  You nearly had me there.  That was a close one.  Yep, the 
way you were peppering my butt with shots, I was just lucky to come out alive.  Why, 
if you hadn't pounded your head against my mace till you were dead, I just don't know 
what I would have done.  I hope that if your teammates try to avenge your death, that 
they are a little more careful than you were.   I heard that there's a shortage of 
pine boxes around these parts.  Be a shame for you to have to share a pine box with 
them. -- Squiwck, Disciple Of Valahalla

Zuwayza -- Behold, the newest most fearsome Disciple from the stable of Valahalla!  A 
man who's name is so feared, who's name is so frighting that it is spoken of only in 
dark corners.  A warrior so fearsome that the very belly of Hell cast him out.  A 
true Disciple that when born, and the doctor slapped him to get him breathing, this 
infant warrior quickly grabbed a mace and smashed the doctor's head.  The resulting 
sound would become this fearsome warrior's very name.  Zuwayza, FEAR AND TREMBLE 
BEFORE THE POWER OF....SQUIWCK!!! -- Odin

Sforno Obadja -- Now why would the ultimate expression of the great power of the 
mighty Kjarran want to leave the Jaguars?  With your 2 and 14 record, you are the 
shinning example of the greatness that is Kjarran.  As you continue your journey 
towards true horrendousness, millions and millions of souls will be brought to the 
way of Kjarran.  Naw, awesome warrior of Kjarran, stay a Jaguar and be proud that you 
are their flagship warrior. -- With my mouth drowning the streets with sarcasm, I am 
Odin.

Noachian -- A 2 and 14 warrior?  Gee, bored much are we?  Running out of new 
challenges?  I'll see if I can rectify that problem for ya. -- Odin

Oh, and to any of you other managers who are peeking in on Zuwayza's Personal Ads, I, 
Odin, am back, I am still bad, and your warriors all still SSSSSSUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!!!   
Your warriors couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag!  If their brains were 
dynamite, they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose!  Their brains would rattle 
around in a match box like a B-B in a box car!  Your warriors all have faces that 
could stop an eight day clock!  Your warriors are so ugly, that when they were born, 
the doctor slapped their mommas!...Ed, I'm kinda running out of cliches here.  Feel 
free to drop in a few that I might have missed.   Thanks. <grin> -- Odin

     I'm sure Ed. would have had some good ones, but she's gone at the moment, and
     I'm suffering from terminal exposure to new trash sacks.  Why do people perfume
     a trash sack?  What is the reek they use?  Obsession?  Chanel Number 13 (the one
     they don't dare release on the open market)?  Brute?  Whatever, I have a
     headache or I would be glad to search out some good cliches for you. -- Temp Ed.

Deo Volente -- Hmm, the catnip didn't work, eh?  I was so sure it would, what with 
you being a jaguar and all.  Or are you a horseless carriage, and I should have 
offered a high grade of oil? -- Elle

Jerry Attricks -- I've got a cousin by that name.  Old guy, half-brother to Arthur 
Itis. -- White Wolf

Dayne Jerous -- Any kin to N. Jerous?  There seems to be more than just a name in 
common. -- (Plain Wrapper)
P.S.  I never called myself a warrior.  I specifically avoid labeling myself at all.

Klypp -- What am I supposed to say to you?  You've got the name of a troll, and the 
manners, too. -- Sports Ill.

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with

an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ADARA AL ZAHRA bested BHAGWANDASS in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
VED BUENS ENDE was demolished by WHITE WOLF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
SFORNO OBADJA was defeated by SQUIWCK in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
DING HAO defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute Title fight.
DEO VOLENTE luckily beat (PLAIN WRAPPER) in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition.
ELLE was overpowered by JILL OPPY in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
SANDY BEECH was devastated by YMIR in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
SPORTS III was handily defeated by SURTUR in a 1 minute uneven melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         BASHING ATTACK     9 -   4 -  1      69  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   6 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   5 -  1      64  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    21 -  18 -  1      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW        10 -  11 -  1      48  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  20 -  2      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   3 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 505 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  DING HAO 4750              11   3  3  127 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
TOTAL PARRY      ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989        24  13  0   95 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296)
LUNGING ATTACK   BHAGWANDASS 4595            6   4  0   79 VALHALLA (344)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WHITE WOLF 3878.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BHAGWANDASS 4595.  The ten other most popular fighters were (PLAIN WRAPPER) 4004, 
DING HAO 4750, WHITE WOLF 3878, ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989, DEO VOLENTE 4751, JILL OPPY 
4821, SURTUR 4830, SQUIWCK 4823, YMIR 4832, and VED BUENS ENDE 4749.

The least popular fighter this week was SPORTS III 4812.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SANDY BEECH 4811, ELLE 4003, SFORNO OBADJA 4662, VED BUENS ENDE 4749, 
YMIR 4832, SQUIWCK 4823, SURTUR 4830, JILL OPPY 4821, DEO VOLENTE 4751, and ADARA AL 
ZAHRA 3989.