DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 03/17/2005 Duedate: 03/30/2005 ZUWAYZA ARENA DM-19 TURN-505 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS DING HAO JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) (19-4750) [11-3-3,127] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader DING HAO POSITION IS EMPTY JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) (19-4750) [11-3-3,127] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite WHITE WOLF BHAGWANDASS THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) VALHALLA (344) (19-3878) [10-16-0,56] (19-4595) [6-4-0,79] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. VALHALLA (344) 55 2. THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) 8 FUNKY FOLK (405) 3. FUNKY FOLK (405) 3 Unchartered Team 4. SWEDEN (407) 0 5. BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) 0 GALATION WARRIORS (37) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1 FUNKY FOLK (405) 17 12 0 58.6 1/ 1 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) 9 6 2 2- 2 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) 8 6 0 57.1 2/ 2 FUNKY FOLK (405) 7 3 0 3- 3*SWEDEN (407) 2 2 1 50.0 3/ 4 VALHALLA (344) 7 5 1 4/ 4 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) 264 309 19 46.1 4- 5*SWEDEN (407) 2 2 1 5/ 5 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241) 270 369 12 42.3 5/ 3 THE MAGNIFICENT MA (241) 2 11 0 6/ 6 VALHALLA (344) 113 179 14 38.7 6- 6 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) 0 2 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. Well, I'm surprised to be Duelmaster so soon. I figured it would be a few more turns, but Sit decided to drop dead in the middle of our fight and here I am! I think I'll stay awhile. I expect Bhagwandass will bloodfeud this turn. I say bring it on! I'd like one more kill before I graduate. My Lord Kjarran would be pleased to have more Valhallas sacrificed to him. So everybody take a shot at Valhalla. Welcome, Sweden, to the Holy City. May the Blessings of Kjarran be with you. Ding Hao Servant of Kjarran Jaguar Warrior SPY REPORT The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon ZUWAYZA, for I, Novgorodny Vir, have returned! VALHALLA had cause to celebrate, after YMIR got 21 points by beating SANDY BEECH. Win some, lose some. Speaking of which, WHITE WOLF was winsome, after beating VED BUENS ENDE and seeing him lose 12 points. VETERAN MERCENARY found out that ZUWAYZA isn't a democracy. You've gotta be the best to be Duelmaster here! So who's the team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk? Sounds like a PR stunt to me. And how sociable are ZUWAYZA's warriors? Come, let us see. Perhaps the warriors of VALHALLA should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team... The warriors of VALHALLA found their efforts at combat frustrated as JAGUAR WARRIORS apparently had more important things to do than fight. Is it charming personality? Conversational abilities? Good oral hygiene? Whatever it is, WHITE WOLF is the most challenged warrior. Take heed ZUWAYZA, of the unprincipled action of ADARA AL ZAHRA. By challenging BHAGWANDASS, 20 points below her, ADARA AL ZAHRA besmirches the noble art of dueling. ADARA AL ZAHRA won victory over BHAGWANDASS with a point difference of 20. So this is what ZUWAYZA calls a duel. This will make an interesting tale. Them's the breaks, SQUIWCK. Expecting fair challenges from JAGUAR WARRIORS is evidently too much to ask. Yes, Virginia, sometimes the little guy wins, as SQUIWCK proved, beating 19 point higher SFORNO OBADJA. Ah, the duel! The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd! Justice was served as WHITE WOLF fought VED BUENS ENDE in bloodfeud. Well done, THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS! Questions are being raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the arena. A certain tavern in ZUWAYZA would I avoid! Leave me now, you base fools! Keep those sands bloody and the buzzards fat! Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid ZUWAYZA farewell-- Novgorodny Vir DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME DING HAO 4750 11 3 3 127 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989 24 13 0 95 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BHAGWANDASS 4595 6 4 0 79 VALHALLA (344) -DYER, RHEA 4181 7 3 0 69 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WHITE WOLF 3878 10 16 0 56 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) -JERRY ATTRICKS 4797 5 2 0 48 FUNKY FOLK (405) VED BUENS ENDE 4749 6 8 3 35 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -DAYNE JEROUS 4792 4 0 0 33 FUNKY FOLK (405) DEO VOLENTE 4751 6 7 0 28 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME JILL OPPY 4821 2 0 0 24 FUNKY FOLK (405) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SQUIWCK 4823 2 0 1 21 VALHALLA (344) SFORNO OBADJA 4662 2 15 0 21 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) YMIR 4832 1 0 0 21 VALHALLA (344) -HALFDAN 4818 1 0 1 16 SWEDEN (407) (PLAIN WRAPPER) 4004 3 3 0 14 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) -KLYPP 4816 1 0 0 13 SWEDEN (407) SURTUR 4830 1 0 0 13 VALHALLA (344) -HEAD, LOOSE 4801 1 0 0 13 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) ELLE 4003 2 4 0 10 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) SANDY BEECH 4811 1 1 0 8 FUNKY FOLK (405) SPORTS III 4812 1 3 0 6 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (241) -LIZA LOTT 4813 1 1 0 4 FUNKY FOLK (405) -B 4182 0 1 0 3 BAD YEARBOOK NAMES (364) -YLVING 4815 0 1 0 1 SWEDEN (407) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? TRAVEL HOLIDAY 3992 5 4 0 THE MAGNIFICENT M 241 VED BUENS ENDE 4749 503 JUST REV JONAKR 4814 0 1 0 SWEDEN 407 SQUIWCK 4823 504 SIT 4228 14 12 2 VALHALLA 344 DING HAO 4750 504 PERSONAL ADS Liza Lott -- Ilove you, I love you, I love you! -- Sforno Obadja Master Odin -- One Win and counting! -- Sforno Obadja Bhagwandass -- You're pretty good, but you're gonna need more than that to beat Ding. -- Ved Buens Ende Sit -- I'm surprised I won, let alone killed you. All I can say is: As Our Lord Kjarran wills it, so it shall be done. -- Ding Hao Elle -- I think I'm getting the hang of things. Didn't I see you at a House of Pleasure recently? -- Deo Volente (Plain Wrapper) -- One hundred fights. Well that's something to shoot for. -- Sforno Obadja Sweden -- Welcome to the Holy City. May the blessings of Our Lord Kjarran be upon you. -- Noachian, mgr. Jaguar Warriors DING HAO -- NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! DING HAO, YOU HAVE KILLED THE GREAT VALHALLA DISCIPLE, SIT, MY COMRADE IN ARMS!! I WILL DESTROY YOU! I WILL GRIND YOUR FACE INTO THE SANDS WITH THE HEEL OF MY BOOT!! I WILL RIP OFF YOUR OWN ARM AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!!! I WILL POST YOUR HEAD ON THE END OF A PIKE AND PLANT IT IN THE TOWN SQUARE!! SIT WAS A CUNNING WARRIOR!! SIT WAS A GREAT DISCIPLE! SIT WAS...was...well, actually, now that I think about, Sit was an a**hole. He'd short sheet my bed, hide my long sword, and never did pay me back that 20 silver pieces he owed me. Hell, I'm not even going to go into the night that jerk set me up on a blind date with his fat sister. <shiver> In fact, I'd say you did the world a favor. Still, Sit was my teammate. So when I run my sword through your spleen, rip out your heart, and feed it to my helldogs, try not to take it personally, okay? It's just business. -- Bwagwandass, Disciple Of Valahalla Noachian, Lapdog of Kjarran, Miss-manager of Jaguar Warriors, King For Life of the Zuwayza Moron Club -- Heh, ya know, if you trained your warrior, Adara Al Zahra, for two more weeks, was real careful, real quite, and sneaked very slowly, he MIGHT actually be able to ambush my deceased warrior Sit in his grave and actually win! No, actually with your warrior's skills, Adara would probably trip, fall, and peirce his own gut with his own sword. How Ding Hoa beat Sit much less killed him is confounding beyond belief. I'm wondering if Carnage or Jekyll substituted the real Ding Hao with one of their Disciples as a practical joke. And if they did, to bad for you, cause Bwagwandass is going to do the Cha-Cha on your warrior's guts from here to Asgard and back. Enjoy the throne while you can, cause its gonna be a hell of a short reign. -- Odin, mgr Valahalla Ghost Of JONAKR -- Whew! You nearly had me there. That was a close one. Yep, the way you were peppering my butt with shots, I was just lucky to come out alive. Why, if you hadn't pounded your head against my mace till you were dead, I just don't know what I would have done. I hope that if your teammates try to avenge your death, that they are a little more careful than you were. I heard that there's a shortage of pine boxes around these parts. Be a shame for you to have to share a pine box with them. -- Squiwck, Disciple Of Valahalla Zuwayza -- Behold, the newest most fearsome Disciple from the stable of Valahalla! A man who's name is so feared, who's name is so frighting that it is spoken of only in dark corners. A warrior so fearsome that the very belly of Hell cast him out. A true Disciple that when born, and the doctor slapped him to get him breathing, this infant warrior quickly grabbed a mace and smashed the doctor's head. The resulting sound would become this fearsome warrior's very name. Zuwayza, FEAR AND TREMBLE BEFORE THE POWER OF....SQUIWCK!!! -- Odin Sforno Obadja -- Now why would the ultimate expression of the great power of the mighty Kjarran want to leave the Jaguars? With your 2 and 14 record, you are the shinning example of the greatness that is Kjarran. As you continue your journey towards true horrendousness, millions and millions of souls will be brought to the way of Kjarran. Naw, awesome warrior of Kjarran, stay a Jaguar and be proud that you are their flagship warrior. -- With my mouth drowning the streets with sarcasm, I am Odin. Noachian -- A 2 and 14 warrior? Gee, bored much are we? Running out of new challenges? I'll see if I can rectify that problem for ya. -- Odin Oh, and to any of you other managers who are peeking in on Zuwayza's Personal Ads, I, Odin, am back, I am still bad, and your warriors all still SSSSSSUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!!! Your warriors couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag! If their brains were dynamite, they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose! Their brains would rattle around in a match box like a B-B in a box car! Your warriors all have faces that could stop an eight day clock! Your warriors are so ugly, that when they were born, the doctor slapped their mommas!...Ed, I'm kinda running out of cliches here. Feel free to drop in a few that I might have missed. Thanks. <grin> -- Odin I'm sure Ed. would have had some good ones, but she's gone at the moment, and I'm suffering from terminal exposure to new trash sacks. Why do people perfume a trash sack? What is the reek they use? Obsession? Chanel Number 13 (the one they don't dare release on the open market)? Brute? Whatever, I have a headache or I would be glad to search out some good cliches for you. -- Temp Ed. Deo Volente -- Hmm, the catnip didn't work, eh? I was so sure it would, what with you being a jaguar and all. Or are you a horseless carriage, and I should have offered a high grade of oil? -- Elle Jerry Attricks -- I've got a cousin by that name. Old guy, half-brother to Arthur Itis. -- White Wolf Dayne Jerous -- Any kin to N. Jerous? There seems to be more than just a name in common. -- (Plain Wrapper) P.S. I never called myself a warrior. I specifically avoid labeling myself at all. Klypp -- What am I supposed to say to you? You've got the name of a troll, and the manners, too. -- Sports Ill. 1 March 2005 The Contract [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith] What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling community for years to come. The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making. Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly lit tavern. Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance. Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads. This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the two Veterans. Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM excellence. Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame and Gift Certs. Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their membership. The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from Hammer. This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against anyone. Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest. Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago. Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude. Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free. Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement. Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers of war: Tripwire kLk Bringer of Pain Hammer kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith Minister of War Illuminati Idealist "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!" LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS ADARA AL ZAHRA bested BHAGWANDASS in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge fight. VED BUENS ENDE was demolished by WHITE WOLF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. SFORNO OBADJA was defeated by SQUIWCK in a 1 minute Challenge duel. DING HAO defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute Title fight. DEO VOLENTE luckily beat (PLAIN WRAPPER) in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition. ELLE was overpowered by JILL OPPY in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. SANDY BEECH was devastated by YMIR in a 1 minute one-sided competition. SPORTS III was handily defeated by SURTUR in a 1 minute uneven melee. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |STRIKING ATTACK 3 BASHING ATTACK 9 - 4 - 1 69 | |LUNGING ATTACK 3 TOTAL PARRY 12 - 6 - 0 67 | |AIMED BLOW 2 STRIKING ATTACK 9 - 5 - 1 64 | |SLASHING ATTACK 2 LUNGING ATTACK 21 - 18 - 1 54 | |BASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 - 0 50 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 AIMED BLOW 10 - 11 - 1 48 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 SLASHING ATTACK 10 - 20 - 2 33 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 3 - 0 25 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 505 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 2 4 LUNGING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 1 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 2 STRIKING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 AIMED BLOW AIMED BLOW 1 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE BASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 BASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK DING HAO 4750 11 3 3 127 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) TOTAL PARRY ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989 24 13 0 95 JAGUAR WARRIORS (296) LUNGING ATTACK BHAGWANDASS 4595 6 4 0 79 VALHALLA (344) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is WHITE WOLF 3878. The most popular warrior this turn was BHAGWANDASS 4595. The ten other most popular fighters were (PLAIN WRAPPER) 4004, DING HAO 4750, WHITE WOLF 3878, ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989, DEO VOLENTE 4751, JILL OPPY 4821, SURTUR 4830, SQUIWCK 4823, YMIR 4832, and VED BUENS ENDE 4749. The least popular fighter this week was SPORTS III 4812. The other ten least popular fighters were SANDY BEECH 4811, ELLE 4003, SFORNO OBADJA 4662, VED BUENS ENDE 4749, YMIR 4832, SQUIWCK 4823, SURTUR 4830, JILL OPPY 4821, DEO VOLENTE 4751, and ADARA AL ZAHRA 3989.