DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 02/09/2016 Duedate: 02/22/2016
SEAM ARENA
DM-20 TURN-20
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
SMOKEHEAD
THIRSTY THUGS (31)
(20-175) [16-3-1,143]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
SMOKEHEAD SIR OSIS OF LIVER
THIRSTY THUGS (31) 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
(20-175) [16-3-1,143] (20-373) [3-4-1,32]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
GILGAMESH MINNESOTA JONES
DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37) I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
(20-217) [12-7-2,66] (20-196) [8-10-1,35]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
THIRSTY THUGS (31)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. 21ST AMENDMENT (47) 45
2. THIRSTY THUGS (31) 42 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
3. BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18) 28 Unchartered Team
4. PIXELBENDERS (36) 27
5. HOLY SHIP! (39) 27 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 THIRSTY THUGS (31) 61 34 4 64.2 1/ 2 THIRSTY THUGS (31) 11 4 0
2- 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4) 51 33 2 60.7 2/ 3 PHILANTHROLORDS (14) 10 5 0
3/ 3 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9) 53 38 5 58.2 3/ 4 HOLY SHIP! (39) 9 6 1
4/ 5 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22) 51 43 5 54.3 4/ 6 DIETIES AND DEMIGOD (37) 8 7 1
5/ 6 PIXELBENDERS (36) 45 40 4 52.9 5/ 1 LOST SENTINELS (19) 8 7 0
6/ 8 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17) 44 40 1 52.4 6/12 WYLD MASQUERADE (24) 8 7 0
7/ 7 PHILANTHROLORDS (14) 49 46 1 51.6 7/14 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17) 7 3 0
8/ 9 DIETIES AND DEMIGOD (37) 48 47 8 50.5 8/10 DEADLINE (32) 7 5 1
9/12 HOLY SHIP! (39) 36 39 3 48.0 9/ 7 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9) 7 6 0
10/13 WYLD MASQUERADE (24) 35 39 1 47.3 10/11*21ST AMENDMENT (47) 7 7 0
11/10 LOST SENTINELS (19) 43 48 4 47.3 11/ 8 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22) 7 8 1
12/11 7TH SANCTUM (10) 46 54 1 46.0 12/ 5 PIXELBENDERS (36) 7 8 1
13/14 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18) 41 53 1 43.6 13/15 HUCKLE'S CATS (23) 5 10 0
14/15 HUCKLE'S CATS (23) 42 58 1 42.0 14/ 9 7TH SANCTUM (10) 4 11 0
15/16*21ST AMENDMENT (47) 14 20 1 41.2 15-13 UNLIKELY HEROES (4) 3 2 0
16/17 DEADLINE (32) 22 36 1 37.9 16/17 TWISTED ASYLUM (20) 3 12 1
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
17/19 TWISTED ASYLUM (20) 27 63 10 30.0 17/19 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18) 3 12 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
SPY REPORT
My pretties, it is so good to see your faces once again! Sidara the Good Witch, here
for your reading pleasure in the fabulous arena of Seam! We have reached turn 20 and
are nearing the time when managers and warriors start getting enough political sway to
make a trip to the Isle of the Eye. Before all of that, though, we still have arena
news to update and share. So, let's get down to the business at hand.
In news that will not surprise anyone except the utterly clueless, Smokehead is
Duelmaster once again. His total number of turns on Seam's throne is going to be hard
to beat for future warriors. I did note that he did not get his invite to the Isle
this turn. DMobster reminded me in an interview that his Thirsty Thugs inadvertently
missed a turn and this perhaps contributed to a delay in what appears to be the
inevitable immortality of Smokehead. We will look to next turn then. In the title
fight this turn, Foot Golem staked his claim to Seam's highest honor. A worthy
challenge by a worthy opponent, but he fell short of his goal. Who will contend next
turn? Cpt. Buzzy and Foot Golem are the only warriors in range to challenge our top
warrior.
Way of All Flesh stands as the most avoided team this turn. Pixelblenders gets the
honor of being the team that avoided them most. Vidar was this turn's most challenged
warrior, which obviously did not bode well for Vidar. He was killed by Pucker & Bloat
from Pixelblenders. I do not recall a previous Most Challenged warrior dying in Seam
up to this point. Condolences to Deadline on their loss, and congrats to Pucker &
Bloat for making news! Vidar joins a large group of warriors that will not see turn
21. Shifty-eyed Volunteer fell to Lothar, which is always tragic when a volunteer
dies in the arena. It makes it more difficult to get volunteers if you guys are so
rough with them! The Dark Arena was busy with most of the deaths this turn, billing
the Commission for six fights in the dead of night. Apart from the aforementioned
Vidar, Bagheera, who has been active most of this arena's 20 turns, died at the hands
of Gilgamesh. You have to be careful around these demi-gods. I believe they forget
their own strength at times.
Thirsty Thugs takes over the top spot with an 11-4-0 record, as the former number 1,
Lost Sentinels drops to 5th. Way of All Flesh, our most avoided team, makes the
biggest leap. They climbed 7 places from 14th to 7th. Also of note, Wyld Masquerade
rises 6 spots to 6th. 7th Sanctum falls 5 places after a 1-4 turn. The biggest slide
goes to Pixelblenders, who dropped out of the 5th position to 12th after a 2-3 outing.
There were no significant down challenges to report this turn, but there were a few up
challenges of note. Soft Light of Pixelblenders challenged up 17 to fight Harmonious
Jade of Wyld Masquerade. It looked to be an exciting 2 minute bout in which Soft
Light came out victorious! Cadoc of Deadline received a challenge from Bloodier Mary
of 21st Amendment, who is 19 points below him in the rankings. No big upset here as
Cadoc defeated Bloodier Mary in a convincing, one-sided fight. Someone buy her a
drink for the gutsy challenge!
It happens so rarely that it bear mentioning as I close this report. Huckle sends out
his newest recruit, Jason the Mason against arena standby Incompetent Punk. The punk
may not know his letters, but he appears to know how to fight! He beat Jason the
Mason in a "1 minute uneven conflict."
Darlings, it is time for me to go. I will look for you next turn as we celebrate turn
21! I look to seeing you!
-- Sidara Brightbell
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SMOKEHEAD 175 16 3 1 143 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
CPT. BUZZY 65 13 6 0 104 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
CARDHU 173 12 7 1 103 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
FOOT GOLEM 69 12 8 0 92 7TH SANCTUM (10)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-SUPER CHICKEN 39 12 5 1 87 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
LOKI 218 11 8 1 85 DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
MERCYFLETCHER 89 12 7 0 82 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
BUMBLE RUMBLE 284 9 4 0 80 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
CLUCKEROO 67 12 7 1 79 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
ULVSBLAKK 107 11 6 0 78 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
FUNEBRE 106 9 7 1 78 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
BLOODBLIND 105 12 5 0 69 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
GEOPLASTIQUE 70 13 7 1 68 7TH SANCTUM (10)
SHADOWDANCER 132 12 7 0 68 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
$50 DROP SHADOW 215 9 8 1 68 PIXELBENDERS (36)
REPRISAL 281 10 4 0 67 HOLY SHIP! (39)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
GILGAMESH 217 12 7 2 66 DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
COBRA MONSOON 71 10 10 0 66 7TH SANCTUM (10)
SOFT LIGHT 271 10 5 1 65 PIXELBENDERS (36)
-SISTER GARLIC 41 12 5 0 64 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
MAGUVIAL 129 13 6 2 63 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
PITTYVAICH 176 13 6 0 63 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
ABLE BAKER CHARLIE 133 9 11 1 60 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
PUCKER & BLOAT 387 5 1 1 58 PIXELBENDERS (36)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-THE SILENT OWL 42 10 7 0 56 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
HARMONIOUS JADE 138 8 7 0 54 WYLD MASQUERADE (24)
SIF 220 8 11 1 52 DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
LADY SONGSTEEL 128 12 7 2 50 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
KININVIE 174 10 9 1 50 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
-GENERAL LIABILITY 38 9 8 0 50 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
HARRY HYENA 137 10 10 0 48 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
ANJA SILVERCLAW 142 7 8 0 47 WYLD MASQUERADE (24)
COURAGEOUS 272 8 7 0 46 HOLY SHIP! (39)
BRN VON SPEEDSTER 66 12 7 1 45 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
EXEMPLAR 275 8 7 3 44 HOLY SHIP! (39)
WENDY CROWE 108 12 7 0 43 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18)
ANUBIS 219 10 9 2 41 DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
COOVER BENNETT 110 9 10 0 40 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18)
BITTER COPAL 305 6 6 1 40 WYLD MASQUERADE (24)
BANANAS GORILLA 366 4 5 0 39 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
CADOC 344 5 5 0 36 DEADLINE (32)
BALSA 333 8 3 3 35 LOST SENTINELS (19)
MINNESOTA JONES 196 8 10 1 35 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
THOR 216 7 12 2 35 DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
XAD BRONZEWOLF 288 7 6 0 35 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MANOSQUE CYAN 306 5 7 0 33 WYLD MASQUERADE (24)
SIR OSIS OF LIVER 373 3 4 1 32 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
WYNN DUFFY 267 8 6 1 31 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18)
JANITOR JOE 286 5 9 0 31 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
OPACITY: 100% 314 8 5 0 29 PIXELBENDERS (36)
RAYNER 182 7 6 0 29 DEADLINE (32)
LOTHAR 180 5 8 1 27 DEADLINE (32)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
KING KONG KHAN 269 7 5 0 26 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
UNKLE RUCKUS 408 3 0 0 26 WYLD MASQUERADE (24)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
STARGAZER 331 6 5 0 23 LOST SENTINELS (19)
TARL 332 5 6 1 22 LOST SENTINELS (19)
EOS 364 5 4 0 21 TWISTED ASYLUM (20)
WAL-MARTINI 404 2 0 0 21 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
MERLOT RIDER 370 2 5 0 21 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
DEVOURED 304 5 5 0 20 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
CASCA 380 3 4 1 19 TWISTED ASYLUM (20)
MELANROH 402 2 1 0 19 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
BO CROWDER 392 1 3 0 19 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY (18)
PYROBLOOM 397 3 1 0 17 7TH SANCTUM (10)
BALOO X 375 4 4 0 16 LOST SENTINELS (19)
BLOODIER MARY 369 3 4 0 13 21ST AMENDMENT (47)
PROF. MONKEYPANTS 409 1 0 0 13 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
THE OGRE SPRITE 403 2 1 0 11 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
ELLAEL MAZE 382 1 5 1 9 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
-GIGANTA MOUSE 389 1 2 0 9 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
SUNRISE VICTORY 390 1 4 0 7 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
SALINGER 406 1 2 0 7 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
SPARTAN 395 1 3 0 6 HOLY SHIP! (39)
ANCHOR POINT 411 0 2 0 2 PIXELBENDERS (36)
JASON THE MASON 414 0 1 0 1 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
SHIFTYEYED VOLUN 0 0 0 LOTHAR 180 20 NONE
DAISY MILLER LITE 372 2 2 0 21ST AMENDMENT 47 WILD JULIO 321 17
MUGS BUNNY 371 2 5 0 21ST AMENDMENT 47 THE WRECK KING 20 NONE
MONEY SINK 413 0 1 0 7TH SANCTUM 10 DARK CHAMPION 20 NONE
AVA CROWDER 112 5 10 0 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY 18 SIF 220 16 NOT REVENGED
BOB SWEENEY 393 0 4 0 BIG LAKE JUSTIFY 18 BANDIT PRINCE 20 NONE
VIDAR 179 4 9 0 DEADLINE 32 PUCKER & BLOAT 387 20
AMAZON 394 1 3 0 HOLY SHIP! 39 ARENAMASTER VYAN 20 NONE
DARING 368 3 2 0 HOLY SHIP! 39 VERTIGO 385 16 JUST REVENGED
GALLANT 367 2 3 0 HOLY SHIP! 39 ELLAEL MAZE 382 16 JUST REVENGED
XRISTIANA 96 11 6 0 HOUSE OF PAIN 15 ABLE BAKER CHARLI 133 17
MR. FRUMBLE 400 0 1 0 HUCKLE'S CATS 23 SIR OSIS OF LIVER 373 17 REVENGED
BAGHEERA 113 9 10 0 LOST SENTINELS 19 GILGAMESH 217 20
THON 361 3 1 0 PHILANTHROLORDS 14 DODGE & BURN 213 16 REVENGED
DODGE & BURN 213 6 9 1 PIXELBENDERS 36 LADY SONGSTEEL 128 18
OBAN 177 9 6 1 THIRSTY THUGS 31 BRN VON SPEEDSTER 66 16 REVENGED
KAZ 405 1 2 1 TWISTED ASYLUM 20 SHEWISH BOUNCER 20 NONE
SPIDER 386 1 2 0 TWISTED ASYLUM 20 BALSA 333 17
VERTIGO 385 2 4 1 TWISTED ASYLUM 20 EXEMPLAR 275 20
VON 412 0 1 0 TWISTED ASYLUM 20 HIGH ELF 20 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
Worley -- The living have to decide what to do with the gifts the dead leave behind.
Usually there's nothing pleasant in those packages--secrets we try to bury under years
of silence--but what do we do when there's a snare waiting for us, a surprise with a
life of its own that won't stay buried? Do we bring it into the light, even if it
means ruin? Do we run as far from our fathers as our feet will carry us? Or do we
join the dead and leave our secrets for the living to deal with? -- Nile
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
MUGS BUNNY was dealt death by THE WRECK KING in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
KAZ was killed by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a exciting 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
BOB SWEENEY was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
AMAZON was assassinated by ARENAMASTER VYANDYL in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
MONEY SINK was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
VON was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena struggle.
EXEMPLAR butchered VERTIGO in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud competition.
COURAGEOUS handily defeated ELLAEL MAZE in a 2 minute gruesome uneven Bloodfeud melee.
WYNN DUFFY lost to SIF in a action packed 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
OPACITY: 100% was viciously subdued by LADY SONGSTEEL in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
FOOT GOLEM was handily defeated by SMOKEHEAD in a 1 minute Challenge Title bout.
BUMBLE RUMBLE subdued $50 DROP SHADOW in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
MERCYFLETCHER bested GEOPLASTIQUE in a exciting 1 minute Challenge battle.
COBRA MONSOON slimly lost to ULVSBLAKK in a 2 minute bloody Challenge bout.
PITTYVAICH slimly lost to FUNEBRE in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
PUCKER & BLOAT assassinated VIDAR in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
SOFT LIGHT narrowly defeated HARMONIOUS JADE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
HARRY HYENA was devastated by BLOODBLIND in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
KING KONG KHAN was luckily beaten by WENDY CROWE in a 35 minute Challenge bout.
DEVOURED was overpowered by XAD BRONZEWOLF in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
BITTER COPAL devastated THOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BANANAS GORILLA unbelievably bested MINNESOTA JONES in a 6 minute Challenge match.
SIR OSIS OF LIVER won victory over EOS in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
BLOODIER MARY was devastated by CADOC in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
JANITOR JOE overpowered TARL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
UNKLE RUCKUS luckily beat MELANROH in a popular 3 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
BO CROWDER demolished SUNRISE VICTORY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
WAL-MARTINI unbelievably bested BALOO X in a 2 minute gory Challenge fray.
SALINGER was overcome by PYROBLOOM in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
CLUCKEROO was vanquished by CARDHU in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
CPT. BUZZY vanquished SHADOWDANCER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LOKI overpowered VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
ABLE BAKER CHARLIE narrowly defeated COOVER BENNETT in a exciting 3 minute bout.
REPRISAL overpowered MANOSQUE CYAN in a 2 minute one-sided fray.
GILGAMESH butchered BAGHEERA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ANUBIS was viciously subdued by KININVIE in a 2 minute brutal battle.
BRN VON SPEEDSTER outwaited RAYNER in a dull 13 minute bout.
ANJA SILVERCLAW overpowered CASCA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MAGUVIAL handily defeated BALSA in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
MERLOT RIDER beat THE OGRE SPRITE in a 2 minute duel.
STARGAZER luckily beat ANCHOR POINT in a 2 minute veteran vs. amateur competition.
LOTHAR executed SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SPARTAN was vanquished by PROF. MONKEYPANTS in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
JASON THE MASON was demolished by INCOMPETENT PUNK in a 1 minute uneven conflict.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK 18 LUNGING ATTACK 64 - 49 - 6 57 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 PARRY-STRIKE 27 - 23 - 1 54 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 10 AIMED BLOW 60 - 54 - 1 53 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 9 WALL OF STEEL 32 - 29 - 3 52 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 SLASHING ATTACK 61 - 57 - 0 52 |
|AIMED BLOW 8 STRIKING ATTACK 80 - 82 - 11 49 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 5 TOTAL PARRY 52 - 57 - 2 48 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 PARRY-LUNGE 18 - 23 - 1 44 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 4 BASHING ATTACK 35 - 57 - 4 38 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 16 - 40 - 0 29 |
Turn 20 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
WALL OF STEEL 3 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 3 - 5 4 LUNGING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 3 SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 6 - 4 LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 6 3 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 AIMED BLOW 2 - 6 1 TOTAL PARRY
SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 5 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 4
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK SMOKEHEAD 175 16 3 1 143 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
SLASHING ATTACK CPT. BUZZY 65 13 6 0 104 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
STRIKING ATTACK FOOT GOLEM 69 12 8 0 92 7TH SANCTUM (10)
BASHING ATTACK GEOPLASTIQUE 70 13 7 1 68 7TH SANCTUM (10)
AIMED BLOW SHADOWDANCER 132 12 7 0 68 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
PARRY-STRIKE SOFT LIGHT 271 10 5 1 65 PIXELBENDERS (36)
PARRY-LUNGE PITTYVAICH 176 13 6 0 63 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
WALL OF STEEL KININVIE 174 10 9 1 50 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
TOTAL PARRY BRN VON SPEEDSTER 66 12 7 1 45 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is GILGAMESH 217. The most popular warrior this turn
was MINNESOTA JONES 196. The ten other most popular fighters were COOVER BENNETT
110, MELANROH 402, MUGS BUNNY 371, LADY SONGSTEEL 128, FUNEBRE 106, BLOODBLIND 105,
THE OGRE SPRITE 403, ANCHOR POINT 411, KAZ 405, and COURAGEOUS 272.
The least popular fighter this week was KING KONG KHAN 269. The other ten least
popular fighters were WENDY CROWE 108, RAYNER 182, BRN VON SPEEDSTER 66, JASON THE
MASON 414, SPARTAN 395, CASCA 380, BAGHEERA 113, SHADOWDANCER 132, SALINGER 406, and
SUNRISE VICTORY 390.
CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS
To clarify: You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided.
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space.
Make sure you include the ID!
FACE-TO-FACE TOURNEY LVI
CONTENDERS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME
KHARMA 3112 (82-69-0) 0 5 0 WRATHMEN
ADM TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME
PAR THE SLIVER 1423 (31-23-0) 3 3 0 THE CHOSEN
ROWDY YOBBO 3429 (58-48-1) 3 3 0 SPARF!
HOULAGU 2649 (33-27-2) 0 3 0 LAME ALLIANCES
FRESHMEN TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME
STURM THE BRUTE 724 (16-16-2) 0 3 0 THE CHOSEN
* * * * * MEMO * * * * *
From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To: All Managers
In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have
up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch,
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the
Gladiatorial Commission.
NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA
The crowd was surprisingly orderly, but it was still a crowd, and the Commission
clerk, Algernon, looked at it uneasily. Whenever this many people came together to
petition for something, it meant trouble. For him, anyway. Records to be altered.
Altering records was Bad. It made Extra Work.
His assistant clerk leaned close and whispered, "If it weren't for gladiators, we
wouldn't have jobs. Smile at them and ask what they want."
Algernon closed his eyes briefly. Looking at this crowd made him dizzy. They
were all wearing black and white stripes. Like a herd of zebras, except that zebras
didn't carry swords. Then he took a deep breath and managed a smile. "What... ah,
what can I do for you?"
"We want new names," the first gladiator said. There was a number on the front
of his shirt: 0381. He thumped the number with his thumb. "This here isn't a
name--"
"We want REAL names!" That voice came from farther back in the crowd.
"Yeah! We've paid our dues," another shouted, "and we've EARNED real names!"
One from the very back yelled, "I want to be called Tom."
All the others turned to look at him.
Algernon couldn't see him, but apparently those looks were accusing. Well, he
could understand that, "Tom" was such a... common name.
"My mom called me Tom," the voice in the back protested. "It's a good name."
"It isn't the name you put on the petition," 0381 said. "We talked about this.
We got our manager's agreement. You get the name on the petition."
"But--!"
Algernon didn't really want to keep staring at all these stripes while they
argued. He picked up the petition. "These names are the ones you want?"
0381 turned back. "Yes."
"It's a lot of trouble, and when other people see that YOU are getting name
changes, THEY are going to want them--" Seeing the gladiators beginning to frown...
and finger their weapons, he went on quickly, "So I figure we might as well make it a
complete deal. A Name-Change-O-Rama. Everyone who wants a name change can petition
for it. Get it all over with at once." He glanced at the petition, shuddered
slightly, and passed it to his clerk. "We'll announce it, proclaim it, even, and you
will get the names on this petition. And others will get the names THEY think they
should have had, too." He paused. "And I think I'll get a new name, I'm tired of
being an Algernon...."
* * * * *
Warrior and team name changes will be accepted during the month of March. If
you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI