Date   : 12/13/2016    Duedate: 12/26/2016


DM-20    TURN-39

This Weeks Top Honors


(20-402) [14-7-1,102]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(20-288) [19-13-1,135]         (20-498) [2-1-1,21]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CLUCKEROO                      EQUALIZER
I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)            PIXELBENDERS (36)
(20-67) [17-18-1,95]           (20-487) [1-5-0,23]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)     38
2. LOSERS (20)                 33      THIRSTY THUGS (31)
3. HUCKLE'S CATS (23)          27      Unchartered Team
4. PIXELBENDERS (36)           23
5. PHILANTHROLORDS (14)        12      AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       115  75  5 60.5   1/ 1 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)      9  6 0
 2/ 3 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)     103  82  3 55.7   2/ 2 DIETIES AND DEMIGOD (37)  8  6 1
 3/ 2 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)       95  76 10 55.6   3/ 6 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        8  6 0
 4/ 4 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      100  88  8 53.2   4/ 4 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       8  7 1
 5- 6*COMMERCIALIST (48)        18  17  3 51.4   5/ 7 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        8  7 0
 6/ 5 DIETIES AND DEMIGOD (37)  92  88  9 51.1   6/ 8 I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)       7  8 0
 7/ 7 PIXELBENDERS (36)         84  90  7 48.3   7/ 9 LOST SENTINELS (19)       7  8 0
 8/12*AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)    6   7  1 46.2   8/10 LOSERS (20)               7  8 0
 9/ 8 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        78 100  1 43.8   9/11 PIXELBENDERS (36)         7  8 0
10/ 9 LOST SENTINELS (19)       77 109  6 41.4  10/12*AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   6  7 1
11/10 DEADLINE (32)             34  50  3 40.5  11- 3 THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)        5  5 1
12-11 THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)        24  40  2 37.5  12- 5*COMMERCIALIST (48)        4  6 1
13/13 LOSERS (20)               68 117 14 36.8  13/13 DEADLINE (32)             0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." 
-- Winston Churchill

     It was not that Frettyah was an ugly Half Kannari and Half Shagornan Elf, far 
from it as her beautiful curves and features most assuredly confirmed; but rather, it 
was her ugly 0-2 record from her two dances on the Seam Arena sands, as the wagerers 
at the Tongues Of Fire Resort were quick to point out, as they placed their bets once 
more for Turn 39.
     There was great celebration among the Patrons at the Tongues Of Fire Resort as 
the twin Half-Elf sisters Ahshondai and Ahshondalai amazed the Seam Arena crowd with 
their unexpectedly successful Blood Feuds against Baldur and Frito Bandito, 
respectively.  Frettyah was all but forgotten amidst the revelry, except for the 
occasional derogatory remark, following her loss to Barnabus Crow.  Even the twin 
Shagornan Elf brothers, who had not even yet set foot inside the Seam Arena sands, 
were being honored as better candidates to eventually ascend to the Seam Arena Throne 
to be crowned Duelmaster, than were the bets being placed against Frettyah to ever be 
the one first ascending to the Throne.
     Frettyah had chosen to keep herself pure from the debauchery that had probably 
caused both Roobahiah and Eliamahgondah to be slain unceremoniously upon the Seam 
Arena sands, after much passion and pleasure with their paid consorts in the Tongues 
Of Fire Resort private baths.
     It seemed that the twin sisters and the twin brothers may be throwing all caution 
to the winds, as they flirted and cavorted with the patrons, causing countless gold 
coins to be wagered in anticipation of their exploits on the Seam Arena sands.
     Frettyah referred to the twin brothers merely as 'K' and 'R' because their names 
were not only lengthy, but the only difference in the spelling of their names were, 
quite obviously, 'K' and 'R'.  The shapely and seductively chaste Half Elf chose to 
seclude herself in a particular underground cavern that was unknown to anyone but her 
benefactor.  It was here that she diligently practiced her own unique art of sand 
warfare, far from the jeers and mocking taunts of her many detractors.
     On the eve of her third sand dance, her benefactor chose to meet secretly with 
her, affording a timely word of encouragement to the somewhat sad and solitary sand 
     "Do not entertain thoughts of doubt or despair," her benefactor spoke with 
reassuring words of comfort.  "I have no intention of sending you to fight by the 
light of the torch at the Dark Arena, either now, or ever!  
     "Be patient little one," the veteran manager continued with his soothing words, 
"I have managed far worse than you!  Time will tell that you have been rightly chosen 
as one of my favorites to ascend to the Seam Arena Throne, with a winning record that 
will stop the mouths of the gainsayers and detractors!  
     "Continue your training little one," her benefactor concluded as he hugged her 
and kissed her lightly on both of her cheeks and forehead.  "I have to go away for a 
time to attend to other matters after tomorrow's clashing of blades, but I expect you 
to gain more experience and skills, plus the elusive wins that many are betting you 
will never achieve!"
     Frettyah threw her arms around her benefactor and wept openly with heartfelt 
     "Thank you, Hammer."


                      CONGRATS to the TURF WAR 10 (TWX) winners!

                             Alliance INNER CIRCLE  (IC)
                           Dameon Darkheart, Spectral Steel
                                 Spirit, D A Rejects
                           The Chosen One, A'merkin Injuns
                                 Var, Baal's Minions

Prize statement:
The Turf War is meant to be a "winner takes all" contest.  All prizes, except the Endu 
Award listed below, and 100% of the Gift Certificates will be awarded to the Captain 
of the winning alliance at the end of the competition.  It is the responsibility of 
the Captain to distribute Gift Certificates.  Moderators will submit a list of each 
manager on the winning alliance to RSI at the completion of the contest for the non-
Certificate prizes.

All entry fees (rollup certs) are awarded to the winning alliance IC.  Alliance 
Captain Dameon Darkheart (Spectral Steel) will provide an address to Oz The 
Magnificent (Use Consortium on RSI site or wfms101@aol.com The total 106 certificates 
will be promptly mailed.

The following prizes have been secured from RSI for the winners:

1.  Renaming of the North Fork (DM 47) arena; Captain Dameon Darkheart will provide 
    the name to Lee.
2.  Renaming of all Dark Arena Monsters Captain Dameon Darkheart will provide the list 
    of 10 names to Lee.
3.  Known Favorites for one DM47 warrior on each team of the winning alliance (warrior 
    must be ranked Initiate or above, must be alive, and must have at least one DM47 
    arena fight to receive this award). Each of the four winning managers, Dameon 
    Darkheart, Spirit, The Chosen One, and Var, will provide the warrior name, team, 
    and ID number to Lee to receive the faves.
4.  +1 Skill bonus (three) for each manager on the winning alliance.  Bonus potions 
    must be applied to living warriors from DM 47, no more than two skills per 
    warrior.  Each of the four winning managers, Dameon Darkheart, Spirit, The Chosen 
    One, and Var, will provide the three skills, the warrior names, team, and ID 
    number to Lee to receive the bonus skills.
5.  Two additional random rollup sheets or rollup certs for each manager of the 
    winning alliance from RSI.  Lee will provide the following winners, Dameon 
    Darkheart, Spirit, The Chosen One, and Var, two rollup teams in the mail.
6.  +1 Skill bonus potion (one) for each and every individual manager who fights in 
    all 10 rounds AND at least 45 fights of the Turf War.  Bonus potion must be 
    applied to a living warrior from (DM 47) (Endu Award)

The following long list of managers earned the one skill Endu Award (all ten rounds 
and at least 45 fights). Each manager will provide the skill, the warrior name, team, 
and ID number to Lee to receive the bonus skill.

     Land Of Oz, Oz                       Star Prairie, Deeders                  
     Second Bananas, Mannequin            Gas Monkey, Stillgard            
     Royal Flush, Crip                    Snow Fort, Studcraft             
     Mystic Orc Feast, Slugbait           Ottodrome TX, Otto X             
     Pawn Of Prophecy, Gentleben          Fast Food, Madwand               
     Tolbins Hive A, Tolbin               Spectral Steel, Dameon Darkheart 
     Howlin Mad, Howlin Wolf              D A Rejects, Spirit              
     Satan's Minions, the Dark One        Amerkin Injuns, the Chosen One   
     El Camino Hot Sauce, Floyd           Baal's Minions, Var              
     80's Disco, Destitute Noble          Natural B Killers 2, Maximillian 
     Big Lake Groove, Den                 Mentors Misfits, Dr, F           
     Big Lake Maulers, Crambus            Blackstorm, Blackstorm           
     Frayed Sanity, Philthy Phil          The Wild Hunt, Nomad             
     Rick and Morty, TMM                  Token Entry, Manta             
     Inquisition 100, LHI                 Bad Beats, Poker Brat            
     Mailin Madness, TUM                  Weird Students, Jerman           
     Wicked Martyrs, DMobster             Destroyer's Legion, DeGotti      
     Bash Bros Park, Assur                Serpents Hold II, Khisanth       
     Shewish Diner, OAB                   Les Turfistes, La Pentarque      
     Garbage Pail Kids, Kharadmon         Weird Alchemy, La Guillotine     
     Cheers, Otis                         Sprout of my Mind, Vlad

These RSI awards will be listed by the Moderators immediately for claiming from RSI 
(Lee) within 4 turns of the end of TWX.  The certs will be mailed to the winning 
alliance by the Moderators within two weeks of the end of the TW if the address to 
which the certs should be mailed is provided in a timely manner.

Another successful Turf War concludes.  CONGRATS TO ALL THE WINNERS!

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

                                      Ode to Sif

                           Lucky for you, I'm the Cluckeroo
                       Connecting with the ladies is what I do
                      When I'm not putting you on your derriere
                        While sipping me some Chanticleer, I'm
                            The ruling Chicken who's Alien
                        Slapping people claiming they salient
                    Like I was Catholic and they were Episcopalian
                  I said the name's Cluckeroo and Imma hurt you too
                         Watching you fall back with alacrity
                                Due to a smack from me
                    And I was back for tea before you found a knee
                          You embarrass me with what you do
                 Your name might be Sif, but what did you see, diff?
                     Like Clostridium Difficile, you an imbecile
                     So lay there a while, watch a DM with style
                   You disrespecting the Isle while I crack a smile
                      I took a whiff, you didn't bother to spiff
                      I'm like Chickaletta and I was a betta but
              You'd like to forget, uh, that I had money on my vendetta
                   Practicing Hen-Kido, I beat you like bread dough
                          Laid you flat like a yoga mat and
                             Proceeded to teach you that
                      The DM throne doesn't condone a bed wetter 
                    You a Two Buck Chuck while Imma new Buck Cluck
                Rockin Chicken Little while you bathin' in my spittle
                      My sleeves rolled up, you a whimpering pup
                    As if your mama gone, you weren't no swan song
                                 Just a duck I pluck
                        You were DM but Imma call you Scratch
                    Cause I treated you like snatch, with dispatch
                       Having me a ball, while you took a fall
                        Taking my stick while you made me sick
                    It was a mismatch and you failed a fair catch
            So go on to the immortal Isle, a portal away from my freestyle
                    Enjoy your lifestyle as an erstwhile juvenile
              Imma hang here like Camilla the Chicken with a thick skin
                                Tacking on another win
                Against someone who's senile and has been for a while
                                  There's no denial.

                                          -- Duelmaster Cluckeroo

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good afternoon, my pretties!  It is so good to see you this cycle.  It has been a 
busy week for me thus far!  Shopping, shopping, shopping!  My spell components were 
running low, so I could think of nothing better than to shop for more.  Sadly, there 
is not a one-stop component emporium for all your "witching needs!"  So, I have to 
travel quite extensively throughout Alastari to replenish my wares. Needless to say, I 
am exhausted, but in a good way.  Though tired, I am overjoyed to be here with you in 
Seam.  So, let's get to the fights!
     Last cycle, our Duelmaster was Cluckeroo from I'm Not Eggbert.  He took the 
throne, by force of arms, from Sif, who was leaving us for the Isle of the Eye. Ever 
the go-getter, Cluckeroo issued a challenge to Melanroh from Philanthrolords.  Sadly, 
Cluckeroo's reign is a brief one as Melanroh overcame him in a 3 minute fight.  
Congrats to Melanroh, our new Duelmaster.  Melanroh, and the rest of the 
Philanthrolords, are managed by Aragorn.
     In other news, we see that Darque Knights are the most avoided team.  Considering 
their 1-4-1 turn, I must not be seeing what is beneath the surface.  I'm Not Eggbert 
avoided them the most.  As it should be, our former Duelmaster, Cluckeroo, was the 
most challenged warrior for the turn.  There were many gunning for his seat, but as we 
have already seen, Melanroh got the challenge and made the most of it.
     Philantrolords remain the top team over the last 3 turns, followed by Deities and 
Demigods.  Huckle's Cats move up 3 spots into the top 5 and take over the 3rd position 
from the inactive The Outlaws 3.  Darque Knights sit tight in 4th, despite their 
dismal turn, and Thirsty Thugs round out the top 5.  There were no position loses 
among the active teams, but The Outlaws 3 and Commericalist plummeted out of the top 5 
into the bottom ranks of the arena.  What happened, my darlings?  We hope to see you 
back soon!
     A moment of silence for a veteran warrior who fought his last turn.  Anubis, who 
was nearly as old as this newly reopened arena, fell on the sands to Xad Bronzewolf of 
Darque Knights.  Condolences to Anubis and his Deities and Demigods guild for the 
their loss.  Also leaving us this turn is Baldur, who fell in a bloodfeud challenge 
from Ahshondalai of Ah Tongues of Fire.  Is this going to turn into a vicious cycle of 
death and revenge between these two guilds?  There were 5 deaths in the Dark Arena 
this turn too.
     In closing, I want to bid farewell to Cluckeroo.  He has been invited to the Isle 
of the Eye and immortality, yay!  The list of graduates from New Seam continues to 
grow.  Hopefully, we will have a worthy list of Lord Protectors to celebrate when our 
half-century mark rolls around.  I anticipate we will have a special New Seam Times 
publication from the Yellow Press on turn 50 (I have it on good authority).  Until 
next turn, my sweets, stay safe in your travels and come back to see me on turn 40!

                                          -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MELANROH 402                 14   7  1   102       PHILANTHROLORDS (14)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 XAD BRONZEWOLF 288           19  13  1   135       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 HARRY HYENA 137              21  15  0   109       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 KININVIE 174                 21  17  1   104       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 CLUCKEROO 67                 17  18  1    95       I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OPACITY: 100% 314            19  12  0    89       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 PROF. MONKEYPANTS 409        10   7  0    86       I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
 PUCKER & BLOAT 387           13  11  3    84       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 THOR 216                     15  23  2    83       DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
 ABLE BAKER CHARLIE 133       15  21  1    83       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 RAYNER 182                   17  15  2    76       DEADLINE (32)
 MERCILESS 433                11   5  0    76       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 THE OGRE SPRITE 403          13   8  0    69       PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
 BANANAS GORILLA 366          13  12  0    67       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KARMA 419                    10   9  2    66       LOSERS (20)
 NUKE 417                     10   9  0    65       LOSERS (20)
 ARDBEG 429                    9   8  0    65       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MINNESOTA JONES 196          14  20  2    64       I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE OGRE TROLL 434            9   6  0    55       PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
 HAHARI HEL 458                8   2  0    53       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 SUNRISE VICTORY 390          10  13  0    51       PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
-WILL SONNET 483               4   1  0    45       THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)
 LEDAIG 435                   10   5  0    42       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 STERO BANEWOOD 471            6   2  0    42       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 LENS CORRECTION 448           6   6  0    35       PIXELBENDERS (36)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MAYHEM 475                    3   4  1    29       COMMERCIALIST (48)
 SNOZZLE 460                   4   5  0    27       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 IRONCLAD 457                  8   2  0    26       LOSERS (20)
 CRAQUELURE 486                4   2  1    26       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 BARNABUS CROW 501             3   1  0    25       I'M NOT EGGBERT (9)
-MR. WHIPPLE 474               4   3  0    24       COMMERCIALIST (48)
-JOSEY WALES 492               3   1  0    24       THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EQUALIZER 487                 1   5  0    23       PIXELBENDERS (36)
-FLO 476                       3   4  0    22       COMMERCIALIST (48)
 AHSHONDALAI 498               2   1  1    21       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
-RUBE BARROW 484               2   3  0    20       THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)
 RHONDOHLAVISHAH 507           1   0  0    20       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
-MORRIS 472                    4   3  1    19       COMMERCIALIST (48)
 HAIG 488                      4   2  0    18       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 HELIX 511                     2   0  0    18       LOSERS (20)
-PEARL HEART 462               3   5  1    17       THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)
 ZEBZABUB 503                  3   1  0    16       PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
 AHSHONDAI 497                 2   1  0    15       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 KHONDOHLAVISHAH 506           1   0  0    15       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 RA-RA RAINWAR 490             3   2  0    11       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 HASTUR 481                    3   1  0    10       DIETIES AND DEMIGODS (37)
-DINOSAUR DAN 500              1   2  0     9       THE OUTLAWS 3 (40)
-FRITO BANDITO 499             2   1  1     8       COMMERCIALIST (48)
 VOID 504                      2   1  0     7       LOST SENTINELS (19)
-JASON THE MASON 512           1   0  0     6       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 BEN NEVIS 508                 1   1  0     4       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 FRETTYAH 496                  0   3  0     3       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 BAD PENNY 509                 0   2  0     2       LOST SENTINELS (19)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
ROOBAHIAH 494           0  1 0 AH TONGUES OF FIR 49 BALDUR 505             37  JUST REVENGED
ANUBIS 219             18 20 2 DIETIES AND DEMIG 37 XAD BRONZEWOLF 288     39   
BALDUR 505              1  2 1 DIETIES AND DEMIG 37 AHSHONDALAI 498        39   
JASON THE MASON 445     3  7 0 HUCKLE'S CATS 23     PEARL HEART 462        37   
RED BELLY BART 477      2  4 0 I'M NOT EGGBERT 9    HIGH ELF               39  NONE
TRITON 510              0  2 0 LOSERS 20            WURM KIN               39  NONE
MONA LISA 454           6  5 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    ARENAMASTER VYAN       39  NONE
WILLOW 502              1  3 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    WURM KIN               39  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Gladiatorial Commission -- While I'm okay with Ashe, most people around these parts 
call me Master Darque -- Master Darque, (Ashe in another reality)

     I shouldn've known those old notes from Ketchum were suspect.  Tossing them now.  
     Sorry about that. -- Ed 

All -- Just a reminder for everyone that is participating in DM 20, 81, and 83 
concerning the rules for the no-tournament arenas.  One of the conditions for fighting 
in any of these arenas is your agreement to the No Tournament Pledge.  The key 
portions of the pledge are:

     1.  I pledge that I will not send warriors from this team (DM 20) to a 
         Tournament, nor will I use a Tournament prize on a warrior from this 

     2.  I pledge to run a full team when I run turns in this arena.

     3.  I understand that any warrior that participates in a tournament shall be 
         sent to the Dark Arena until they are dead.

     4.  I understand that any warrior that receives a tournament prize shall be 
         sent to the Dark Arena until they are dead.

These rules were once enforced by a Player Committee (PC), but that function has now 
become defunct, so we are generally self-policing.  Even without a PC, the same rules 
still apply.  RSI does their best to avoid inputting warriors from these arenas into 
tournaments, but inevitably, some will slip through the cracks.  If this occurs, the 
warrior will be sent to the Dark Arena.  The no-tournament rule also applies to Dead 

If there are any questions or something I can clarify, I would be happy to do so.  
I've been in the no tournaments since the beginning and they have run smoothly as 
these rules have been enforced. -- Master Darque

Lost Sentinels -- I do not know if Mona Lisa was an input error or there was a 
miscommunication concerning the rules of DM 20.  I'm sorry you lost the warrior.  If 
there is anyway I can help in DM 20 or otherwise with the game, feel free to drop me a 
note. -- Master Darque, mgr. Darque Knights

Hammer -- Sorry for referring to your warrior-sisters as gentlemen in my Spy Report.  
From the press box, they all look the same to me under all that armor. -- Sidara 

Sidara Brightbell -- I so enjoy reading your Spy Reports!  They brighten the Seam 
Arena newsletters!  I am so looking forward to more!  Thank You for Your Kind Words! 
-- Hammer, mgr Ah Tongues Of Fire

Gladiatorial Commission and Sidara -- Thank You for listing the Managers with Active 
Stables in Seam Arena! -- Hammer, mgr Ah Tongues Of Fire

Baldur -- Surprise! -- Ahshondai

Frito Bandito -- Likewise! -- Ahshondalai

Barnabas Crow -- Thank You Sir for the Sand Dance Experience! I Salute Your Victory! 
-- Frettyah

Cluckeroo -- Congratulations on Gaining the Seam Arena Throne!  My Goal is to Ascend 
to the Seam Arena Throne in the Future! -- Frettyah

Sif -- Congratulations on Gaining Entry to the Isle of the Eye! -- Frettyah

All -- Please Welcome My New Stable Mates 'K' and 'R' to the Seam Arena Sands!  Most 
are Betting that 'K' and 'R' will Rank Higher than Me!  We Shall See! -- Frettyah



A contest for Stormcrowe (DM 45) that runs 10 turns (starting turn 385, due 
05/23/2017).  Squads will consist of two (2) teams.  One (1) team per manager.  
Participating managers may not run multiple teams in the arena during the contest.

Master Darque opens a Chaos Gate in Stormcrowe, which creates a temporal distortion.  
Turn 1 (Stormcrowe turn 385) and Turn 10 (Stormcrowe turn 394) will be scored using 
Slaughterhouse scoring.  Turns 2 through 9 will use a wide variety scoring mechanisms 
from various contests throughout Alastari's history.

Entry into the contest is open to anyone who meets the following criteria:

1)  FORM A SQUAD:  A squad will consist of two (2) managers.  No more, no less.  This 
    means there will be NO single manager teams.  You must choose a name for your 

2)  DECLARE ENTRY:  Each manager must declare their intention to participate in the 
    contest BEFORE Turn 1 of the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse (No exceptions will be 
    made).  Declarations must include 1) TEAM NAME; 2) MANAGER NAME;  3) PARTNER'S 
    NAME; and 4) SQUAD'S NAME, and may be submitted by any of the following means:

    a. A personal ad in DM 45

    b. A diplomatic note to Darque Forces (428) in DM 45

    c. An email to rebelnerfherder@yahoo.com (put SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 in Subject Line)

    **NOTE:  Failure to meet this criteria by the deadline will result in NO ENTRY 
    into the contest.  Please be mindful of the requirements and submit them in a 
    timely manner to avoid any misfortunes.

3)  SEND RU CERTIFICATES:  Submit two (2) Roll Up Certificates to Master Darque, 
    contest moderator.  This can be done by requesting Roll Up Certificates from RSI 
    Customer Service.  NOTE:  Be sure to submit Roll Up Certificates, not Roll Up 


Every participating Team will receive one (1) +1 Bonus Potion* for participating in 
all 10 rounds of the contest and in at least 45 of the 50 scheduled fights. 

The individual manager that achieves the best Win/Loss% over the course of the contest 
(turns 385-394), will receive 10% of the entry RU Certificates.  Tie breakers will be:  
1) total kills during contest; 2) total fights during contest; and lastly, 3) head-to-
head win/loss% between tied teams.

The manager that achieves the most kills during the course of the contest (turns 385-
394) will be allowed to transfer one (1) warrior from another team onto his/her team 
in DM 45.

The winning squad receives the following:

1.  60% of the Entry RU Certificates (to be divided at squad's discretion)
2.  Two (2) +1 Bonus Potions for each member of the squad*
3.  Favorites Knowledge for one (1) warrior on DM 45 team of each squad member
4.  Rename Stormcrowe Arena for six (6) months
5.  Rename four (4) Dark Arena Monsters for six (6) months
6.  Rename four (4) Arena Stand Bys for six (6) months


1.  20% of the Entry RU Certificates (to be divided at squad's discretion)
2.  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion for each member of the squad*
3.  Favorites Knowledge for one warrior on DM 45 team of each squad member
4.  Rename four (4) Dark Arena Monsters for six (6) months

1.  10% of the Entry RU Certificates (to be divided at squad's discretion)
2.  Favorites Knowledge for one warrior on DM 45 team of each squad member
3.  Rename four (4) Arena Stand Bys for six (6) months

*Bonus potions must be used with 2 turns of contest end AND can only be used on living 
warriors that participated in the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse 5 contest.

Master Darque will be the moderator for this contest.  All questions and disputes can 
be directed to him.  He is the final arbitrator for the contest and his decisions are 
final.  A copy of the scoring rules can be requested via email or diplomatic note.  
Please use the email listed above for any inquiries and note SLAUGHTERHOUSE in the 
subject line.

                        *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *


Turn 1:  SSV Scoring (DM 45)

     +1 Win
     -1 Death
     +1 Kill

     Wins and kills against Arena Stand Bys and Squad-mates will not be scored (Please 
     note:  Death against any opponent will be scored with a -1).  Dark Arena fights 
     will be scored regularly.

Turn 2:  Delarquan Death Fest (DM 59)

     Win = +2 pts
     Loss = -1 pt
     Kill = +5 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
     Death = -3 pts [in addition to -1 pt for Loss]
     Dark Arena Kill = +10 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
     Dark Arena Death = -5 pts [in addition to -1 pt for Loss]

     Challenges against squad-mates will incur -1 penalty for both participants.  
     Death penalties will also apply.

Turn 3:  TOGS IV Scoring (DM 60)

     10 points for winning on your upchallenge against another SSV warrior.
      7 points for winning on your even challenge of another SSV warrior.
      7 points for winning on another SSV warrior's challenge.
      7 points for winning a random matchup against another SSV warrior.
      4 points for winning a random matchup against a non-SSV warrior.

     Do not fight your teammate, you will not get any points.  Also, you will not get 
     any points if you challenge a non-SSV team (this includes the Dark Arena).

     5 points for a spotlight written by any team member, 1 per manager per turn. The 
     minimum length of a spotlight to receive points is 1/2 column in the newsletter 
     (that's 31 lines--each line 86 characters across).  In addition to the length 
     criteria, spotlights will not be given any points if they are in any way 
     plagiarized or if they are not Duelmasters or fantasy related.  If in doubt about 
     the content, email me before the turn and I will be happy to verify it for you.

     -5 points per manager who does not write at least one (1) personal ad.

     -5 points for being the team that avoided the most.

Turn 4:  Battle Royale (DM 18)

     +1 Win
     +1 Kill
     -1 Loss
     -1 Death

     No Avoids (-10 point penalty for avoiding)

Turn 5:  (Un)Popularity Contest

     +11 for Turn's Most Popular with a descending point award for most popular 
     warriors' list (e.g. +10 for second most popular, +9 for third most popular, etc)  
     Only warriors listed on the most popular list will score points (between +10 and 

     +11 for Turn's Least Popular with a descending point award for least popular 
     warriors' list (e.g. +10 for second least popular, +9 for third least popular, 
     etc)  Only warriors listed on the least popular list will score points (between 
     +10 and +1).

Turn 6:  Slaughter Priest Memorial (DM 54)

     No Challenges

     3 points for winning
     3 points for killing (giving 6 in total, 3 for the win and 3 for the kill)
     3 points for at least one of your warriors writing a personal (regardless of 
     number of personals beyond one you still only get three (3) points).  Make sure 
     it is written from one of your team's warriors and not simply the manager entity 
     or you will not get the point.
     -3 points for losing
     -3 points for being killed (giving -6 in total, -3 for losing and -3 for being 

Turn 7:  Turf War (DM 47)

     Team Points:
       Fights made:
          1 = 0 points,  2 = 0 points,  3 = 1 point,  4 = 3 points,  5 = 5 points

       Wins earned:
          1 = 1 point,  2 = 3 points,  3 = 6 points,  4 = 10 points,  5 = 15 points

     Champion win = 3 additional points

     Down Challenge = (-5) points each (DM is exempt from DC rule)

     Team with most wins per round earns 4 additional points (If ties, no points 

     Alliance/Squad Points (Round 7 Only):
       Fights made (DA fights count as a fight made)
          All (each) team of the alliance fights 1 to 3 warriors = 3 points
          All (each) team fights 4+ warriors = 6 points
          All (each) team fights all five warriors = 9

     Alliance with most wins per that round = 5 points (If tied, no points awarded.)

Turn 8:  Morya Madness (DM 28)

     +3 points to the highest ranked warrior of each style.  Highest ranked is the 
     highest recognition total, regardless of record.  If case of a tie in recognition 
     points, win/loss percentage will be the tie breaker, followed by total kills 

     +5 Top Team on the Move descending scoring down to #5 (e.g. +5 for first, +4 for 
     second, etc).

     +5 Most Successful Bloodfeuds (Contest Turns 1-8; cumulative for squad).  
     Bloodfeud victories for kills that did not occur during the contest do not count 
     to this total.

     +5 Most Avoided Squad (Contest Turns 1-8; teammates avoiding one another will not 
     be counted)

     -5 Most Avoiding Squad (Contest Turns 1-8)

     +5 Most Turn's Most Favorite (Squad) (Contest Turns 1-8)

     +5 Most Turn's Least Favorite (Squad) (Contest Turns 1-8)

Turn 9:  Mordant Olympics (DM 1)

     The three teams (not squads) with the best win-loss record over turns 1-9 (who 
     meet minimum fight criteria).  Cumulative kills and total recognition will serve 
     as tie breaks if needed.

     Gold -- 25 points
     Silver -- 15 points
     Bronze -- 10 Points

     + 3 Points for an Attacker [Challenge] Win (Challenges against squad-mates will 
     incur a -2 point penalty)

     +3 Points for a Defender [being Challenged] Win (Challenges from squad-mates will 
     incur a -2 point penalty)

Turn 10:  Slaughterhouse V (DM 45)

     +5 Win
     -5 Death
     +5 Kill

     Wins and kills against Arena Stand Bys and Squad-mates will not be scored (Please 
     note:  Death against any opponent will be scored with a -1).  Dark Arena fights 
     will be scored regularly.


                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MONA LISA was butchered by ARENAMASTER VYANDYL in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
RED BELLY BART was slaughtered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
ARTARIAN GREY was murdered by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TRITON was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
WILLOW was butchered by WURM KIN in a popular 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
AHSHONDALAI viciously butchered BALDUR in a 2 minute gory beginner's Bloodfeud brawl.
CLUCKEROO was bested by MELANROH in a 3 minute master's Challenge Title match.
PROF. MONKEYPANTS handily defeated ARDBEG in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
MINNESOTA JONES was vanquished by PUCKER & BLOAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
KARMA overpowered STERO BANEWOOD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
NUKE beat SUNRISE VICTORY in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
LEDAIG subdued LENS CORRECTION in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge competition.
RA-RA RAINWAR slimly lost to HAIG in a exciting 7 minute bloody Challenge battle.
HELIX savagely defeated VOID in a 1 minute gory amateur's Challenge conflict.
ANUBIS was viciously butchered by XAD BRONZEWOLF in a 2 minute gruesome master's bout.
KININVIE handily defeated RAYNER in a 2 minute bloody mismatched bout.
HARRY HYENA viciously subdued OPACITY: 100% in a exciting 9 minute veteran's fight.
MERCILESS outlasted BANANAS GORILLA in a tiring 22 minute match.
THE OGRE SPRITE was viciously subdued by ABLE BAKER CHARLIE in a 4 minute competition.
THOR vanquished HAHARI HEL in a 1 minute one-sided match.
THE OGRE TROLL handily defeated IRONCLAD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SNOZZLE bested AHSHONDAI in a exciting 1 minute bout.
CRAQUELURE overpowered BAD PENNY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
EQUALIZER savagely defeated HASTUR in a action packed 3 minute gory fight.
FRETTYAH was overpowered by ZEBZABUB in a 6 minute brutal uneven match.
BARNABUS CROW vanquished BEN NEVIS in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
RHONDOHLAVISHAH handily defeated INCOMPETENT PUNK in a 2 minute mismatched bout.
KHONDOHLAVISHAH vanquished POLITE BEGGAR in a slow 3 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         AIMED BLOW        16 -   8 -  1      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         TOTAL PARRY       47 -  26 -  1      64  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         SLASHING ATTACK   23 -  20 -  3      53  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         PARRY-STRIKE      21 -  20 -  1      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         LUNGING ATTACK    56 -  56 -  4      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-LUNGE       19 -  21 -  1      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         STRIKING ATTACK   33 -  45 -  1      42  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  39 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  14 -  2      39  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         WALL OF STEEL     12 -  25 -  1      32  |

Turn  39 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     AIMED BLOW         1 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  4         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  5                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      MELANROH 402               14   7  1  102 PHILANTHROLORDS (14)
TOTAL PARRY      HARRY HYENA 137            21  15  0  109 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
WALL OF STEEL    KININVIE 174               21  17  1  104 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    RAYNER 182                 17  15  2   76 DEADLINE (32)
BASHING ATTACK   STERO BANEWOOD 471          6   2  0   42 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CLUCKEROO 67.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was EQUALIZER 487.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE OGRE SPRITE 403, 

The least popular fighter this week was MERCILESS 433.  The other ten least popular 
and VOID 504.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


                            A DM TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

          12 political points a'pumpin'
          11 TVs a'workin'
          10 free duels of credit
           9 ABs to challenge
           8 criticals a'connectin'
           7 scums a'dyin'
           6 skills a'maxin'
           5 A.D. invites
           4 lucky warriors
           3 size on replacement
           2 proxied TCs
          And a quarterstaff from a pear tree.

                                   May your days be merry,
                                   And your wins be often.

                                             The Consortium


For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                     TRICK SHOULDER (52-1053) OTTO'S PARTS  (150) 
                        POSSUMS (82-23222) LEE SAYS SO  (3699) 
                  MEROBRYLLA (82-37956) SUPERIOR FORCES 5702  (6302) 
                       IRONPUSS (82-38621) METALLICATS  (6419) 
                 AFRAID TO SHOOT (82-43653) ROOKIE MAIDEN 47  (7323) 
                   BLACK ANGEL (82-46442) STONED ROOKIES 16  (7787) 
                     FLIGHT (82-46541) STONED ROOKIES 35  (7806) 
                   RUN LIKE HELL (82-52904) ROOKIE PINK 13  (8917) 
                  LEONARD FUNK (84-9258) MEDAL OF HONOR X10  (1679) 
                TENURED WHELP (84-15361) DA ORLANDO MOB XXIII  (2713) 
                  CAT MESSIAH (84-16763) THE INQUISITION IX  (2961) 
                   HAND ON THE PUMP (84-29220) CYPRESS HILL  (5177) 
                          FJORD (84-36346) IDIOCRACY  (4683) 
                CLICK STUPID LINKS (84-42122) 99 OF 100 USERS  (7321) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes