DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/21/2022    Duedate: 07/04/2022

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-183

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

PAPPY BLUE RIBS
BEER BELLIES (74)
(20-1091) [14-8-2,130]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PAPPY BLUE RIBS                POSITION IS EMPTY
BEER BELLIES (74)              
(20-1091) [14-8-2,130]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

COR SEVENBLADES                UNDO
DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)            PIXELBENDERS (36)
(20-1032) [12-16-1,87]         (20-1066) [11-10-1,64]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BEER BELLIES (74)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BEER BELLIES (74)           45
2. UNLIKELY HEROES (4)         39      PHARMANOMICON (76)
3. LOST SENTINELS (19)         33      Unchartered Team
4. ROBO VILLAGE (68)           30
5. DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)         25      ENDLESS HUNGER (80)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PHARMANOMICON (76)        48  33  4 59.3   1/ 5 BEER BELLIES (74)        10  5 1
 2/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       58  41  2 58.6   2/ 1 METAL BLADE (69)         10  5 0
 3/ 3 BEER BELLIES (74)         62  47  5 56.9   3/ 3 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     9  6 1
 4/ 4 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    162 134  8 54.7   4/ 4 PIXELBENDERS (36)         8  7 2
 5/ 6 PIXELBENDERS (36)        423 378 14 52.8   5/ 2 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    8  7 0
 6/ 5 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    29  26  1 52.7   6/ 6 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        8  7 0
 7/ 7 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         97  87  2 52.7   7/11 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       7  8 0
 8/ 8 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      467 433 29 51.9   8/ 7 LOST SENTINELS (19)       6  6 0
 9/10 HERO'S INC (67)          111 104  2 51.6   9/ 8 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       6  9 0
10/11 METAL BLADE (69)          87  86  2 50.3  10/10 HERO'S INC (67)           6  9 0
11/12 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       423 437 12 49.2  11/12 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         6  9 0
12/13 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       385 445 17 46.4  12/ 9 PHARMANOMICON (76)        5  4 0
13/14 LOST SENTINELS (19)      351 533 39 39.7  13/13 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        4  7 0
14/15*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)        2   6  1 25.0  14/15*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       2  6 1
15/ 0*CONSTANT SORROW (81)       1   4  0 20.0  15/ 0*CONSTANT SORROW (81)      1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Hail and well met. I am Palinc Kalverus, wizard from the Isle of the Eye. Well, I used 
to be able to claim being a wizard. I had one too many drunken nights with the 
Magnificent Lady Graywand and may have slurred a few lewd comments... This started me 
as a Manager of some fighters in Aljafir for my penance. For my punishment, she put a 
bind on my magical abilities. Please people of Seam, be at ease around me, I cannot 
currently weave any spells.

Recently, I was in the North Fork jail... no surprise, it was drinking- related... and 
for a lesser sentence, I offered to manage another stable there. While locked up, the 
North Fork Rabble spoke of the drinking contest held in Seam. I just knew I had to 
partake in this competition.

To my dismay, I have arrived here to find out it is a fighting contest... Drinking 
always leads me to managing more warriors. *sigh* Since I am here, I was quickly able 
to find a team who needed a manager. Hopefully I will be able to whip these CEREAL 
KILLERS into shape before the contest starts.

See you in the taverns, oh yeah, and in the Arena.

                                         -- Palinc Kalverus, manager of CEREAL KILLERS

P.S. BTW where are the pubs and taverns around here? What are the names of these fine 
establishments?

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Well I had planned a tour de force DM column analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of 
all the top warriors in arena 20 (spoiler alert, was mostly weaknesses, sorry kids) 
but it looks like once again, the BEER BELLIES are on the move! Evidently the big 
kahuna, Biff "The Boss" Frothingslosh has decided that to give everyone a fair chance 
in the coming contest he would field an all new team of total newbs, most of which are 
already missing limbs and/or eyes. I guess he was worried he would steam roll all over 
the rest of you and didn't want y'all to feel like total failures. Such a kind man he 
is. Stop laughing, he really is.

I have no idea who the new team will be but let's be honest, Biff has a lot of 
kids.... like A LOT, so he has no shortage of bodies he can throw at things. Good luck 
on dealing with them. As for me, I have to go pack.... grabs his tankard... ok, I'm 
packed!! 

                                          -- your DM
                                             Pappy Blue Ribs

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, in SEAM a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spymaster gets poor.  So 
bring me ale and harken to my tidbits of news.  It seems the training can make the 
difference, as METAL BLADE is pushed out of top team by BEER BELLIES, who came from 
5th with a 3-2-1 this turn.  BEER BELLIES stable has parlayed this turn's 3-2-1 into 
a 4 space move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 1st place.  Good work, guys!  
And let's see, BUD THE WISER fought WOLVERINE and gained 34 points and contributed to 
BEER BELLIES' 3-2-1.  This turn PAPPY BLUE RIBS challenged HELSTAR in what was SEAM's 
Title bout.  The attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and PAPPY BLUE RIBS 
remains SEAM's top warrior for another turn.  By the way, was that our Duelmaster 
that I saw last night, cramped under the table at The Victory Tavern?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  I also notice that the ROBO VILLAGE 
stable was the most avoided team this turn.  Come on SEAM, what are you afraid of?  
And guess who avoided ROBO VILLAGE stable the most?  Believe it or not, it was WAY OF 
ALL FLESH.  Anyone surprised?  The most challenged warrior this turn was UNLIKELY 
HEROES' warrior SISTER GARLIC.  More fighters challenged her than challenged the 
Duelmaster!  In a brave attempt, BOOZY SOOZY from BEER BELLIES challenged up 22 
points to fight ANVIL from the METAL BLADE stable.  BOOZY SOOZY perhaps got hers just 
desserts, seeing as she defeated ANVIL and ended up with 62 recognition points.  
NAKED AND AFRAID of ALFREDOVISION(TM) had better have a good reason for challenging 
down 14 points in a challenge which she won.  I thought NAKED AND AFRAID showed great 
skill and promise when she bested MOUNTAIN.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big 
deal!   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  WOLVERINE has departed SEAM, leaving HERO'S INC without their 20-21-0 
warrior.  Question, just what was his team doing at the taverns last night?  Is it 
really true that SEAM has more dishwashers per capita that fighters?  Just thought 
I'd ask...   
     Remember, blood on the purple robe does not change it from a purple robe.  Dare 
to fight bravely.  Always good to rest in SEAM, but never good to wear out my 
welcome.  Look for me in future turns.  Until you see my quill in SEAM again, 
farewell-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAPPY BLUE RIBS 1091         14   8  2   130       BEER BELLIES (74)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CUT & PASTE 1036             14  14  0   119       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 COMMAND X 1060               15   8  0   108       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          23   9  0   106       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 BUD THE WISER 1090           10  11  1   106       BEER BELLIES (74)
 SISTER GARLIC 41             14   6  0    97       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 HELSTAR 976                  16  19  0    96       METAL BLADE (69)
 SUPER CHICKEN 39             14   6  1    91       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OMEN 1102                     9   5  0    90       METAL BLADE (69)
 COR SEVENBLADES 1032         12  16  1    87       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 THE HANDYMAN 942             15  22  1    85       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 TALA ONE-HAND 1097           12   3  0    85       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 YUTO 1016                    12  20  4    80       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 DRINK EM UP 1093             14   7  1    79       BEER BELLIES (74)
 OKSTUPID 950                 21  11  0    74       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 LORELEI 1044                 18   8  0    70       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         13   5  0    70       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 VERTEX 1025                  18  12  1    67       PIXELBENDERS (36)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SILENT OWL 42            12   8  0    66       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105              8   2  0    66       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 MR. ROOT 994                 15  19  1    65       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 TRAPS 983                    14  22  1    65       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 I DON'T MOW 941              14  23  0    65       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 UNDO 1066                    11  10  1    64       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 XXX 1087                     12  10  0    62       BEER BELLIES (74)
 BOOZY SOOZY 1088              9   8  0    62       BEER BELLIES (74)
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         11   5  1    60       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 CROAKER 1086                  8   8  0    60       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 THE REDNECK 1129              6   1  0    59       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 DOCTOR LION 1127              5   5  0    59       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         10  10  0    51       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 BENNAKYL 1109                10   7  1    46       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148        5   2  0    42       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 DYNAMITE 1151                 4   2  0    41       METAL BLADE (69)
 ANVIL 1113                    6   6  0    40       METAL BLADE (69)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078             7  11  0    38       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DY-QUIL 1107                  9   8  1    36       PHARMANOMICON (76)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARK FUNERAL 1150             3   3  0    33       METAL BLADE (69)
 GUMBO 1075                    6  13  1    32       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077           6  12  0    30       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 ERASE 1114                    3   9  1    30       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 PANDA 1132                    4   5  0    27       HERO'S INC (67)
 NAKED AND AFRAID 1160         4   0  0    27       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158          2   3  0    25       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOZO THE CLOWN 1131           7   2  0    23       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 FREXX 1122                    4   7  1    22       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159           3   2  0    18       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 DEORN 1152                    3   3  0    17       HERO'S INC (67)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       1   2  0    15       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 COCAINE SMILE 1180            2   0  0    14       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154         3   3  0    12       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 HARMACIST 1126                2   2  0    12       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DARKHEART 1165                1   0  1    11       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 MOUNTAIN 1153                 1   5  0    11       HERO'S INC (67)
 FRIENDZONE 1174               1   0  0    11       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 WELFARE MOM 1161              2   2  0     9       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 BURN OUT 1157                 2   3  0     9       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 GIGANTA MOUSE 389             1   5  0     8       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 GI JANE 1171                  1   1  0     7       HERO'S INC (67)
 DOOMBLADE 1169                1   0  0     6       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 PAYTRIOT GAME 1162            1   2  0     5       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 HOEB 1184                     1   0  0     5       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 MAYOR FOX 1179                0   2  0     2       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       0   2  0     2       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 AMENDS 1176                   0   1  0     1       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             0   1  0     1       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 DREDLOCK 1172                 0   1  0     1       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 DRAGONWIND 1168               0   1  0     1       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 DEFIANT 1182                  0   1  0     1       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CAN I SAY POO? 1185     0  1 0 ALFREDOVISION(TM) 77 SHEWISH BOUNCER       183  NONE
LECTER 1116             4  4 0 ALFREDOVISION(TM) 77 GUMBO 1075            180  JUST REVENGED
DIABLO SAMICH 1178      0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   DARKHEART 1165        183   
MOPER 1175              0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   WURM KIN              183  NONE
MOPER 2 1177            0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   SHEWISH BOUNCER       183  NONE
WOLVERINE 946          20 22 0 HERO'S INC 67        BUD THE WISER 1090    183   
NORMAL GUY 1156         0  1 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    CANNON MOLE 1139      179  NOT REVENGED
METH DEALER 1085        6  6 0 ROBO VILLAGE 68      ERASE 1114            181  JUST REVENGED
CHATROOM RAMBO 1083     8  5 1 WAY OF ALL FLESH 17  DRINK EM UP 1093      180   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

3-2 turn. The new kid lost but managed a strength train. I'm unclear what kind of 
tournament we are supposed to be having. I really have no intention of leaving but 
Wolverine is to old to send to the dark arena, GI jane just got here and the other 
kids have picked up their game. Mountain is probably headed towards the Dark Arena 
because aside for Tremendous damage the kid couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and 
is so big and slow he is easier to hit than that barn. Deorn and Panda are still 
developing and I still have some hope that they will start winning. So that means for 
the foreseeable future I'm looking at maybe one new rollup and several veterans. What 
exactly are the rules for this upcoming tourny? Is it the 99 bottles of beer thing 
I've read about or something else? -- Eli

Since I'm here already, and I like beer, count Metal Blade in! Hope this will be a 
blast, as it is likely my first time participating in an event like this. Good luck to 
all, especially me. -- Producer, Manager of Metal Blade (The Democrats in 22, Carnage 
Canaries in 21)

Pharmanomicon Manager: Neuroticus.

All -- First and foremost, let me introduce myself. My name is Dante Killatroll. And 
before you ask, No... I have never killed a troll. I am the team manager for Talk 
Nerdy 2 Me. I have come t Seam to participate in the 99 Bottles contest. Yet I would 
like everyone to know that I am not a drunk. So I have brought a team to help me drink 
all of it. We are part of the N.E.R.D. Syndicate, the Never-Ending-Research-
Development. I am always studying and learning, open to new ideas, and trying to 
overcome challenges. So with all this said, my team shall see you next round! -- 
Dante, mgr. of Talk Nerdy 2 Me

Just a reminder for you guys: the contest is nigh! Next turn is the start of the warm-
up period, so remember to write a personal ad for next turn's newsletter to earn your 
first bottle...which will also insure that you will be in a tie for first place! 
Pretty cool, eh? Huzzah! -- alfredo Frothingslosh, Your Host and Cruise Director

Pappy -- Suck it through a straw. Concise enough for ya? -- alf

Eli -- Well, I imagine you're not going to have any problems remembering to write a 
personal ad every turn! Under normal circumstances I would have happily given you some 
advice regarding your new little GI girl. But this being a contest now, I will give 
you this advice: perhaps it might not be wise to post your warrior's stats (especially 
if you happen to be a 4 CN, little damage AB). Good luck my friend; you're going to 
need it. -- alfredo

Gumbo -- Gotcha! Best 2 out of 3? -- GOAT

Eternal Blossom -- uh HUH! You may be 1-3, but you're pretty good, aren't cha! Hey 
SEAM; let's get this guy before he "blossoms," -- Bozo

Dynamite -- Challenge me anytime if you're going to teach me like that! -- GUS

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

[reprinting this for Eli]

The Frothingslosh Syndicate is proud to announce 99 Bottles of Beer III!!! (+ 100): 
Sponsored by ALFREDOVISION(TM): for a Better Tomorrow, and a Better Today.

The contest will be in honor and celebration of turn 199 of SEAM DM 20.

Your objective is simple: be the first team to accumulate 199 Bottles of Beer!

The first part of the contest will be a 15 turn "warm-up" starting on turn 184, due 
7/4/22, but you are encouraged to start your team as early as possible. During this 
casual "meet and greet" stage, all teams will earn one bottle per turn simply by 
fielding a full team of 5 warriors and writing at least one personal ad. BTW guys, for 
the sake of simplicity, your Host and Cruise director asks that you PLEASE do not sign 
your ad expecting me to know who you are. If you are not 100% certain, then please 
state very clearly EVERY TURN what team you are associated with so i do not have to go 
through past newsletters to try to figure out who you are. Also do not forget to write 
a personal ad for the turn 184 newsletter! Simply stating who you are would be great. 
Something like, "Hi Seam. I'm John, the manager of John's team" is certainly 
sufficient.

The real fireworks will start on turn 199, due on 1/30/23. That is when the teams will 
start to earn Bottles for Arena Performance, which will be earned/awarded as follows:

  * Bottles awarded for being active and writing a personal ad are discontinued.
  * 5 Bottles for each invite to ADM, AWARDED UPON THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF INVITE IN THE 
    NEWSLETTER with the opportunity to earn 1 extra bottle ON THE FOLLOWING TURN for 
    achieving a kill in the Dark Arena on their last fight. Note that this Bottle is a 
    "bonus;" you will also earn a Bottle for the win; bottles awarded for wins are 
    outlined below.
  * 3 Bottles for each turn as Duelmaster, with the opportunity to earn 1 extra bottle 
    for writing a Duelmaster's column COLLECTED ON THE FOLLOWING TURN when the column 
    is actually published. It does not have to be fancy but has to be "something": 99 
    words minimum.
  * 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 Bottles for Team on the Move and Current Top Team. In the case 
    of ties, partial bottles will be awarded and will count towards your total.
  * 2 Bottles for Chartered Recognition Leader
  * 2 Bottles for This Week's Favorite
  * 2 Bottles for TOP CAREER HONORS Chartered Team
  * 0 Bottles for each turn as Overall Popularity Leader. Additionally, you will pay a 
    1 BOTTLE PENALTY on the following turn if you fail to post a personal ad 
    apologizing for your ostentatious behavior! OR...you can choose to brag further 
    about how astonishingly wonderful you actually are, and are more than worthy of 
    all the accolades you get from your adoring fans.
  * 1 Bottle for a successful Bloodfeud: limit two bottles per incident.
  * 2 Bottles for each Stylemaster as listed in the newsletter. In other words, the 
    rules for being awarded bottles for Stylemaster are the same as they are in the 
    arena: winning record, adept or above.
  * 1 bottle for each win, or two bottles for each kill in the regular arena. Warriors 
    that manage to return from the Dark Arena earn one bottle for the win only.

If more than one team achieves or surpasses 199 Bottles on the same turn, the team 
with the higher total will be the victor. Partial Bottles having been awarded make the 
event of a tie at the end much less likely; any fraction of a bottle lead that you may 
have *will* count. In the unlikely event that there is an exact tie for any place that 
receives a prize, those teams involved will continue playing until a winner can be 
decided.

The top three places will win one or more "Cream of the Slosh" replacements:

  * 1st Place: 3 CotS replacements
  * 2nd Place: 2 CotS replacements
  * 3rd Place: 1 CotS replacements

A CotS replacement is 10 standard, ordinary Duelmasters teamsheets that are specially 
"marked" and grouped together by the Spy Commision to be used for this single purpose 
only. The winning manager then chooses any one out of the 50 warriors on the 10 
teamsheets they wish to be their "Cream of the Slosh" replacement; the other 49 are 
simply discarded. Note that you are free to use your CotS replacement anytime you have 
an opening on your team in Seam; in other words, you are not required to Dark Arena 
nor do you have to pass on a good naturally occurring replacement.

However, CotS replacements will not be allowed to hide their status: all CotS 
replacements will be required to start its name with these three symbols: O^O (capital 
O, shift-6 [caret symbol], capital O. This surely will cause them to be a "target" of 
challenges, but also will serve as a badge of honor for them to wear proudly. In the 
case of winning multiple CotS replacements, you will be required to wait at least 10 
ACTIVE turns in between using your CotS replacements; you will only receive one CotS 
packet at a time. Just send a note in to the Spy Commission with your 10th turn's 
orders to receive your new CotS packet with your turn's results.

Note that 6 CotS replacements being won in total is the guaranteed minimum. I have 
been informed that if the contest has an unusually large turnout, the Spy Commission 
MAY choose to spice up the prize pool with additional CotS replacements. Understand 
there are no guarantees (other than them 6 as listed), and these Spies were rather 
"vague" and sometimes can be a little sketchy. But, for what it's worth, I figured I 
should pass the information on just in case it does actually have merit.

But that's not all! For those of you that wish to spice up the contest even further, 
we are featuring an additional and completely voluntary "Contest Within a Contest" for 
which there will be a one time fee of 6 RSI Gift Certificates to enter. The prize pool 
for the CWAC will be one "6-pack" of Duelmasters Gift Certificates (no cash value; 
each may be redeemed for one Duelmasters teamsheet) for every manager who chooses to 
participate. The prize pool will divided up among the winning players as follows:

  * 1st place: 1/2 of all the teamsheets
  * 2nd place: 1/3 of all the teamsheets
  * 3rd place: 1/6 of all the teamsheets

I just want to clarify that managers competing for the CWAC teamsheets are only 
competing against each other. So, for example, if you place second in the main contest 
but the main contest winner did not choose to participate in the CWAC, you will then 
be the first place winner of the CWAC (and receive half of all the sheets in the prize 
pool). Additionally, if the CWAC proves to be very popular and gets many entries, I 
may pay out more places. Any such decisions will be discussed and finalized prior to 
turn 199.

I will do my best to write a Contest Update every turn which will obviously be based 
on the totals from the previous turn. I also plan to start an email list that you may 
join if you wish. I will send out the updated contest standings to this list...likely 
very soon after the newsletter is posted; I will actually be so bold to suggest that I 
might get your contest update prior to getting your mail! So everyone can have up-to-
date standings, but also gives you the chance to point out any errors I might have 
made prior to sending in the official update to be printed in the newsletter.

Other Rules:

  * Once the first team equals or surpasses the required 199 Bottles total, THE 
    CONTEST IS OVER unless there are any ties to work out, and in that case the 
    contest will continue to the following turn ONLY for those teams involved. Your 
    official contest ranking will be based on whatever position you are holding at the 
    time that the first team(s) surpasses 199 bottles, even in the unlikely event of a 
    tie for first place and the winner has not yet been determined.
  * NO AVOIDS: This will be STRICTLY ENFORCED starting on Turn 199. Any team caught 
    avoiding will be REMOVED from the contest and their entry fee (if any) WILL NOT be 
    refunded! And trust me, with the number of nosy spy reporters out there, YOU WILL 
    get caught.
  * Cheating of any kind will not be tolerated and will be grounds for 
    disqualification. Coordinating challenges is allowed; non-aggression pacts are 
    allowed. "Taking a dive" (ie: throwing fights) is definitely NOT allowed. Any 
    allegations of cheating will be investigated seriously; any decision made by the 
    spy commission regarding said allegations will be final. Ladies and gentlemen: 
    let's keep this clean, okay? None of us are kids anymore!
  * Seam is a "non-tourney" arena, and as such you are required to field a full team 
    of 5 warriors every turn! Any warrior that has 1 FE or more missing the turn will 
    incur a 3-Bottle penalty for their team. You are highly encouraged to put your 
    entire team on maintenance, to guard against any mistakes. If you have a warrior 
    "accidentally' sit out the turn, you will "accidentally" incur a 3-bottle penalty 
    ;>. Any rookie warrior missing a turn will only incur a 1-Bottle penalty for 
    their team. I am aware that those poor noobs often get lost temporarily.
  * There will be no penalty for your *entire team* missing a turn. It is certainly 
    not recommended, however!
  * No tournament experience or "enhanced" warriors will be allowed.
  * If you wish to participate in the optional "contest within a contest," you must 
    announce your intention to participate prior to turn 190 being processed (due 
    9/26). The one-time entry fee of 6 RSI Gift Certificates will be charged to your 
    account at that time. 

YOU are invited; you are encouraged to start early if you like! The Frothingslosh 
Syndicate invites you to Bottle! Er...ah...battle!

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

BOTTLES OF BEER III!!! (+100) CONTEST: NEWS FROM THE GLADITORIAL COMMISSION: ALL 
PARTICIPANTS WIN A PRIZE! Plus contest clarifications:

You heard right my friends: ALL 99 Bottles participants who do not miss more than 1 
turn during the entire contest (including the warm-up phase) will receive a "Pick of 
the Litter" replacement. A PotL replacement will be 10 ordinary random replacements: 
you pick the one you wish to keep, and the other 9 are discarded. Naturally, this 
replacement must be placed in DM 20.

What's new:

Your CotS "status symbol": O^O (capital O, shift-6, capital O) must appear somewhere 
in it's name. However, it may appear anywhere. It need not be in the beginning as was 
originally stated. So names such as MO^ONSHOT or THRU THE O^O will be quite 
acceptable.. 

Some clarifications:

* Do not forget to write a personal ad for the Turn 184 newsletter. In other words, 
  assuming you do start on turn 184, you need to send in a personal ad with your very 
  first turn.

  The requirement to write a personal ad is discontinued once the Arena Achievement 
  stage starts on turn 199.

* This should not be an issue, but Bottles for Arena Awards will be awarded for 
  chartered teams only.

* If you win one or more of the CotS replacements, they/it MUST be used in DM 20.

* Note that the NO AVOIDS policy will be STRICLY ENFORCED!! If you are caught 
  avoiding, you will be disqualified from the contest! HOWEVER--this does not start 
  until turn 199; no one including myself or the Gladitorial Commission will give a 
  hoot about avoids until turn 199. But be sure you get it out of your system prior: 
  if you are caught avoiding on turn 199 (or after), you WILL be disqualified!!

* On the other hand, fielding a partial team is a no-no RIGHT FROM THE START on turn 
  184. You will receive a 3-bottle penalty for any inactive warrior, or 1-bottle 
  penalty for any inactive rookie. And your Bottle total can and will go negative if 
  necessary.

  It is highly recommended that you place your team "on maintenance" to avoid any 
  complications caused due to slow mail or any other unforeseen catastrophy. In case 
  you are not familiar with the term: a team on maintenance will automatically run 
  again with its previous turn's strategies (without the challenges) even if none are 
  sent in or are not received in time, Just send your request to be put on maintenance 
  to CSR@reality.com.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CAN I SAY POO? was barely slain by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MOPER 2 was butchered by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
MOPER was murdered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
THE REDNECK overpowered ERASE in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
GOAT WITH NO NAME devastated GUMBO in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
PAPPY BLUE RIBS savagely defeated HELSTAR in a 2 minute Challenge Title competition.
TALA ONE-HAND was overpowered by CUT & PASTE in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
PASCAL LYNXEAR unbelievably bested SISTER GARLIC in a 5 minute Challenge competition.
DRINK EM UP was viciously subdued by SUPER CHICKEN in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
BUD THE WISER slaughtered WOLVERINE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
THE HANDYMAN vanquished XXX in a 2 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight.
I DON'T MOW slimly lost to MECHADEPLORABLE in a slow 23 minute Challenge bout.
BOOZY SOOZY demolished ANVIL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
GENERAL LIABILITY devastated MR. READ-A-LOT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
NAKED AND AFRAID viciously subdued MOUNTAIN in a 2 minute bloody Challenge bout.
HOP ONTHEBUS GUS was handily defeated by BULLY BOBCAT in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
DARK FUNERAL savagely defeated BOZO THE CLOWN in a 6 minute Challenge struggle.
PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC was savagely defeated by GI JANE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
WELFARE MOM outlasted BURN OUT in a tiresome 18 minute novice's Challenge bout.
PAYTRIOT GAME was overpowered by PANDA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ETERNAL BLOSSOM overcame HARMACIST in a 3 minute amateur's Challenge competition.
COMMAND X won victory over COR SEVENBLADES in a 2 minute veteran's match.
OKSTUPID was overcome by YUTO in a crowd pleasing 5 minute expert's duel.
VERTEX was overpowered by OMEN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MR. ROOT was overpowered by THE SILENT OWL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TRAPS was overpowered by AMOXIKILLIN in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
LORELEI subdued UNDO in a action packed 5 minute gruesome veteran's melee.
CROAKER overpowered DY-QUIL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
FURIOUS INHALER vanquished MORDANT GOON in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BENNAKYL was defeated by DOCTOR LION in a action packed 1 minute duel.
FREXX was overpowered by DYNAMITE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DEORN defeated MAYOR FOX in a 2 minute fight.
GIGANTA MOUSE was overpowered by REPLACEMENT THEORY in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
DAKIA WILDROSE overcame DRAGONWIND in a action packed 3 minute amateur's match.
COCAINE SMILE overpowered DEFIANT in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
FRIENDZONE demolished TUMBLE BELLY in a 3 minute one-sided struggle.
AMENDS slimly lost to DOOMBLADE in a 2 minute novice's fight.
DREDLOCK was subdued by HOEB in a 1 minute novice's conflict.
DIABLO SAMICH was slaughtered by DARKHEART in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                 13         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  11 -  2      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         TOTAL PARRY       52 -  40 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         PARRY-STRIKE      29 -  23 -  2      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  22 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         WALL OF STEEL     37 -  35 -  2      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         LUNGING ATTACK    50 -  50 -  4      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        19 -  22 -  0      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   45 -  64 -  3      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  20 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   4 -  0      20  |

Turn 183 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      5 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  6         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  5     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  8         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         1  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  3                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  PAPPY BLUE RIBS 1091       14   8  2  130 BEER BELLIES (74)
PARRY-STRIKE     COMMAND X 1060             15   8  0  108 PIXELBENDERS (36)
TOTAL PARRY      PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019        23   9  0  106 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
LUNGING ATTACK   SISTER GARLIC 41           14   6  0   97 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
AIMED BLOW       OMEN 1102                   9   5  0   90 METAL BLADE (69)
WALL OF STEEL    THE SILENT OWL 42          12   8  0   66 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129            6   1  0   59 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
BASHING ATTACK   DY-QUIL 1107                9   8  1   36 PHARMANOMICON (76)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is COR SEVENBLADES 1032.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was UNDO 1066.  The ten other most popular fighters were SISTER GARLIC 41, DARK 
FUNERAL 1150, YUTO 1016, ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158, DAKIA WILDROSE 1159, PAPPY BLUE RIBS 
1091, DRINK EM UP 1093, NAKED AND AFRAID 1160, LORELEI 1044, and SUPER CHICKEN 39.

The least popular fighter this week was MECHADEPLORABLE 1080.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were I DON'T MOW 941, BURN OUT 1157, WELFARE MOM 1161, DIABLO SAMICH 
1178, DEFIANT 1182, DRAGONWIND 1168, GIGANTA MOUSE 389, FREXX 1122, TRAPS 983, and 
MR. ROOT 994.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

PAPPY BLUE RIBS (20-1091) BEER BELLIES (74)

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

For those of you who keep track of such things, a few additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                       GECKO (82-4572) REPTILIAN REBELS  (617) 
                          0004 (82-12395) OCT 2001 2  (1813) 
                        CRAZY 17 (84-11450) CRAZY 88 6  (2077) 
                          UBER (85-4046) IT'S NEWARK!  (736) 
                     MARCELINE (85-9958) ADVENTURE TIME 2  (1809) 
                   HIP KOALA (85-38711) TIME 4 TOURNEY XIII  (7060) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes

                          Name Change-o-Rama -- Final Update

      The gladiators looked around at the Commission's administrative office on the 
Isle of the Eye.  They'd been here before.  The standard boxy building, the scurrying 
clerks, the... goats browsing on the landscaping.  Not as many goats this time as 
before, only three.  One came over to Zeke (not his arena name) and nuzzled his 
pockets.  He scratched at the base of its floppy ears, lacking a snack to offer.  He 
looked at one of the clerks.  "I thought you got rid of the goats last year," Zeke 
said.
      "These are new goats," the clerk said with a sigh.  "They're going to be shipped 
out next week."  He looked hopeful.  "They like you, could you stay until then?"
      Zeke sighed.  Minding three goats sounded more enjoyable than fighting in the 
arena.  "I'd have to ask my manager."  

                                       * * * * 

      Snatching his parchment away from a very determined goat, who apparently thought 
it was a tasty snack, Rodney quickly dipped his pen in ink and began to write.  "It is 
our pleasure and honor to note that sixty-seven gladiators and teams have elected to 
change their names, supporting the contribution of goats to deserving people.  With 
the Commission's matching funds, this has purchased three goats--a good goat can't be 
purchased for a copper, you know.  The goats are already en route to their new homes, 
where they will be--"  He paused and thought about it.  "--very welcome.  We wish all 
the best to the goats and their new owners."