DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/16/2022    Duedate: 08/29/2022

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-187

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

VERTEX
PIXELBENDERS (36)
(20-1025) [22-12-1,147]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

VERTEX                         DREDLOCK
PIXELBENDERS (36)              ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
(20-1025) [22-12-1,147]        (20-1172) [3-2-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CUT & PASTE                    DOCTOR LION
PIXELBENDERS (36)              HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
(20-1036) [16-16-0,112]        (20-1127) [7-7-1,73]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THIRSTY THUGS (31)          38
2. STRANGER DANGERS (82)       38      UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
3. ROBO VILLAGE (68)           36      Unchartered Team
4. ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)      34
5. CEREAL KILLERS (83)         33      200 PROOF (87)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*200 PROOF (87)            14   6  0 70.0   1/ 1*200 PROOF (87)           12  3 0
 2/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       68  50  3 57.6   2/ 2*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)      12  3 0
 3/ 3*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       16  12  1 57.1   3/ 3 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    10  5 0
 4/ 4 PHARMANOMICON (76)        56  45  4 55.4   4/ 5 PIXELBENDERS (36)        10  5 0
 5/ 5 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    175 141  9 55.4   5/ 4 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        9  6 2
 6/ 7 PIXELBENDERS (36)        435 386 14 53.0   6/14 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       8  6 0
 7/11 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    39  36  1 52.0   7/ 7 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   8  7 0
 8/ 9 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        106  98  2 52.0   8/ 8*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     8  7 0
 9- 8 WEIRDING WAYS (53)       191 177 17 51.9   9/13 LOST SENTINELS (19)       7  5 0
10/10 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      474 445 29 51.6  10/10 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        7  8 2
11/12 METAL BLADE (69)          97  96  2 50.3  11/ 6 METAL BLADE (69)          7  8 0
12/13 HERO'S INC (67)          118 117  3 50.2  12/12 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    7  8 0
13/ 6*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     10  10  0 50.0  13/21*LOCAL GIRLS (88)          6  8 0
14/16 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       435 445 14 49.4  14/ 9*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       6  8 0
15/14*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)        9  10  0 47.4  15/22*CONSTANT SORROW (81)      6  9 1
16/18 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       394 456 19 46.4  16/15 HERO'S INC (67)           6  9 0
17/19 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   32  39  2 45.1  17/17 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         6  9 0
18/15*LOCAL GIRLS (88)           6   8  0 42.9  18/24*TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)      6  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17*HOLD MY BEER (79)          8  12  1 40.0  19/20 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       5  9 0
20/20*STRANGER DANGERS (82)      8  12  1 40.0  20/11*HOLD MY BEER (79)         5 10 1
21/21*CEREAL KILLERS (83)        8  12  0 40.0  21/19*CEREAL KILLERS (83)       5 10 0
22/22 LOST SENTINELS (19)      359 541 39 39.9  22/18 PHARMANOMICON (76)        5 10 0
23/24*CONSTANT SORROW (81)       9  16  2 36.0  23/16*STRANGER DANGERS (82)     4 11 1
24/25*TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)       6  13  0 31.6  24-23 WEIRDING WAYS (53)        3  2 0
25/26*AKAKIA (86)                3  12  0 20.0  25/25*AKAKIA (86)               3 12 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                99 BEERS III!!! (+100) CONTEST STANDINGS -- TURN 3/186

                            POS  TEAM              BOTTLES
                              1   200 PROOF            3
                              2   ENDLESS HUNGER       3
                              3   WAY OF ALL FLESH     3
                              4   PANDEMIC BOREDOM     3
                              5   PIXELBENDERS         3
                              6   ALFREDOVISION(TM)    3
                              7   METAL BLADE          3
                              8   HERO'S INC           3
                              9   CALL YOUR SHOT       3
                             10   HOLD MY BEER         3
                             11   AH TONGUES OF FIRE   3
                             12   CEREAL KILLERS       3
                             13   CONSTANT SORROW      3
                             14   TALK NERDY TO ME     3
                             15   PHARMANOMICON        2
                             16   ROBO VILLAGE         2
                             17   DARQUE KNIGHTS       2
                             18   LOCAL GIRLS          2
                             19   STRANGER DANGERS     2
                             20   UNLIKELY HEROES      1
                             21   WEIRDING WAYS        1
                             22   AKAKIA               1
                             23   THIRSTY THUGS        0
                             24   HUCKLE'S CATS        0
                             25   LOST SENTINELS      -2

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     TWO TURNS! Wow, two turns in a row. What a blast. Looking forward to my next 
challenge! Hey Vertex, don't be dodging me again!
     Earlier I was talking to the Producer, and he had a stupid idea, send me to 
Bloodfeud. Da Hell is he thinking!! I said it sounds good, Boss. Then the drugs wore 
off.
     Guess the prescription to stupid ideas is to call a bunch of hookers and snort 
coke. He said I'm too stupid to understand the intricacies of being a Producer. 

                                          -- Helstar

                                      SPY REPORT

Welcome back, my darlings!  It has been a wonderfully cool day here in Seam.  We 
continue to see large crowds for the contest.  I cannot complain! I like all of the 
warriors on the sands.  It keeps me employed, but it also makes the days go by faster 
when I have to keep so busy running to and fro interviewing managers and gladiators.  
I do enjoy the business!  Okay, let's see what has happened in our fair arena on turn 
187.

It has been a volatile situation for the throne of New Seam!  It appears we have a new 
Duelmaster again this turn.  Helstar was our previous champion, and he was displaced 
by Vertex in a 2-minute bout. I do love it when the Challenger Champions issue 
challenges to the Duelmaster.  I particularly like it when the Duelmaster is the most 
challenged warrior for a turn.  Sadly, it was not so this turn, but the Duelmaster got 
a challenge . . . which he lost.  Okay, you can't have it all!  Let's move on!

Call Your Shot is our most avoided team today.  They were mostly avoided by 200 Proof.  
it is a free-for-all with the avoids for now, but REMEMBER, if you are in the contest, 
avoids are not allowed when the 199 Bottles of Beer exits its preliminary phase.  I 
mentioned that our Duelmaster was NOT the most challenged warrior.  Well, who was it 
you ask?  It was Shondailadonai.  I should charge extra for printing that name!  My 
golem nearly had a massive malfunction trying to sound that one out!  Yes, they are 
magical constructs, but even they have their limits! 

There was not really any change in the top 5 rankings.  The first, second, and third 
place teams remained steady.  200 Proof and Endless Hunger refuse to give any quarter 
to the other team.  Way of All Flesh hangs tight with a 10-5-0, tied with 
Pixelbenders.  Thirsty Thugs slips down to 5th place and finishes off our top 
achievers for this report.

Time for me to go, my loves!  It has been a pleasure to speak with you, but I must be 
traveling on.  Okay, I'm traveling to the spa, but it is a great distance.  Okay, not 
really.  I just walk a few hundred yards from the arena.  I'm going to a spa, and I am 
going to get pampered.  There!  I said it!  I will see each of you in two weeks! Bye!

					  -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VERTEX 1025                  22  12  1   147       PIXELBENDERS (36)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE HANDYMAN 942             18  23  1   114       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 CUT & PASTE 1036             16  16  0   112       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 MR. ROOT 994                 18  20  2   106       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 LORELEI 1044                 22   8  0   103       LOST SENTINELS (19)
-CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 679          24  23  1    96       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 BENNAKYL 1109                14   7  1    96       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 COMMAND X 1060               17  10  0    95       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         16   6  0    95       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 SUPER CHICKEN 39             16   8  1    94       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 HELSTAR 976                  19  20  0    93       METAL BLADE (69)
 SISTER GARLIC 41             16   8  0    93       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          25  11  0    86       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 THE SILENT OWL 42            15   9  1    85       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 OKSTUPID 950                 24  12  0    84       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 I DON'T MOW 941              16  25  0    81       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 OMEN 1102                    10   8  0    75       METAL BLADE (69)
 TALA ONE-HAND 1097           13   6  0    74       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 THE REDNECK 1129              7   4  0    74       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 DOCTOR LION 1127              7   7  1    73       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 CROAKER 1086                 10  10  0    72       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 TRAPS 983                    15  25  1    71       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         12   8  1    69       PHARMANOMICON (76)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887        15  13  0    64       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 ANVIL 1113                    8   8  0    64       METAL BLADE (69)
 FREXX 1122                    8   7  2    63       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148        8   3  0    59       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         12  12  0    58       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158          5   4  0    54       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 GUMBO 1075                    8  15  1    48       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 BOZO THE CLOWN 1131          10   3  0    46       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 DY-QUIL 1107                 11  10  1    45       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077           8  14  0    43       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
-SUICIDE MISSION 1051          8   7  0    40       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 KHONDOHLAVISHAH 506           9   5  1    38       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078             8  14  0    38       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 PANDA 1132                    6   7  0    34       HERO'S INC (67)
 FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552           5   1  0    34       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AHSHONDALAI 498               8   8  1    33       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 NAKED AND AFRAID 1160         6   2  0    33       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154         5   5  0    33       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 DREDLOCK 1172                 3   2  0    33       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 FRIENDZONE 1174               4   1  2    32       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 COCAINE SMILE 1180            4   2  0    32       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105              8   6  0    30       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DESTINY 1231                  3   0  0    30       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 DEORN 1152                    5   5  1    29       HERO'S INC (67)
 CHUGS 1219                    4   0  0    29       200 PROOF (87)
-SHAKIN' FOR BACON 1050        6   9  1    28       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 AMBERLITH 1229                3   0  0    28       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216          4   0  0    27       200 PROOF (87)
 GI JANE 1171                  3   3  0    26       HERO'S INC (67)
 CRACKLE J. ARIUS 1193         3   1  0    26       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 LIZ DANFORTH 1222             2   1  0    26       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 PATRON SILVER 1197            3   1  0    25       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       4   3  0    24       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200        3   1  0    24       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146         2   2  1    24       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 DEFIANT 1182                  2   3  0    24       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX 1192         2   2  0    24       CEREAL KILLERS (83)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAYTRIOT GAME 1162            3   4  1    23       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 HOEB 1184                     4   1  1    21       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 SHONDAILADONDAI 856           1   3  0    21       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137         3   1  0    19       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 DRAGONWIND 1168               3   2  0    19       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       2   4  0    19       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 POOR JUDGEMENT 1213           2   2  0    19       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133           4   0  0    18       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224             2   1  0    18       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 LONELY OTAKU 1202             1   3  0    18       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159           4   5  0    17       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 SKUNK APE 1190                3   1  0    17       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 HANDY ROLEPLAYER 1205         2   1  0    16       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 BURN OUT 1157                 3   6  0    15       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 HODAG 1188                    2   2  0    15       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 HARMACIST 1126                3   5  0    14       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 PLANK 1145                    3   1  0    14       HOLD MY BEER (79)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218            3   1  0    14       200 PROOF (87)
 WELFARE MOM 1161              3   5  0    14       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
-CANNON MOLE 1139              2   1  1    14       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238         2   0  0    12       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 MAYOR FOX 1179                1   5  0    12       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 PB&J 1235                     1   1  0    12       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 HOODED LEMMING 1249           1   0  0    12       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 SCROLLING REDDIT 1136         3   1  0    10       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             2   3  0    10       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 EPICUREAN 1246                1   0  0    10       METAL BLADE (69)
 MOTHMAN 1189                  2   2  1     9       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557           2   3  0     9       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 BUSTY COSPLAYER 1203          2   2  0     9       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 PUB CRAWLER 1220              2   2  0     8       200 PROOF (87)
 BIFF 1212                     2   1  0     8       AKAKIA (86)
 CAP'N C. MANSON 1195          2   2  0     8       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 TIDE POD 1143                 2   2  0     8       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 MOTHER-IN-LAW 1239            1   1  0     8       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 STEVEN 1209                   1   2  0     7       AKAKIA (86)
 GIRL SCOUT 1198               1   3  0     6       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 POSTMAN 1201                  1   3  0     6       HERO'S INC (67)
 UPTIGHT BOOKWORM 1204         1   3  0     6       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 WASTED 1217                   1   3  0     6       200 PROOF (87)
 POP C. ANTHONY 1194           1   3  0     6       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 CHARTREUSE 1199               1   3  0     6       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225          1   2  0     5       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223             1   2  0     5       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135         0   4  0     5       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 HELLVETICA 1236               1   1  0     4       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 WILLIAM BUCKWELL 1211         0   3  0     4       AKAKIA (86)
 BOTTLE FLIP 1142              0   4  0     4       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 TONY THE RIPPER 1191          0   4  0     4       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 ALBERT 1210                   0   3  0     3       AKAKIA (86)
 SLICK 1208                    0   3  0     3       AKAKIA (86)
 MIDAS 1226                    0   3  0     3       HERO'S INC (67)
 LOADED LARPER 1248            0   1  0     1       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 THE LAST BEER 1244            0   1  0     1       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 GREAT RESIGNATION 1245        0   1  0     1       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DIABLO SAMICH 1178      0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   DARKHEART 1165        183  REVENGED
HUMBLEBRAGGER 1214      0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   PAYTRIOT GAME 1162    184  REVENGED
MOPER 7 1247            0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   SWINE GOLEM           187  NONE
COR SEVENBLADES 1032   12 17 1 DARQUE KNIGHTS 22    THE SILENT OWL 42     184   
DARKHEART 1165          1  1 1 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    FRIENDZONE 1174       184  REVENGED
DOOMBLADE 1169          4  1 0 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    FRIENDZONE 1174       187   
MANNEQUIN 1144          1  3 0 HOLD MY BEER 79      DARK CHAMPION         187  NONE
WERESLOTH 125           0  5 0 LIGHT OF THE MOON 21 DEORN 1152            184   
YUTO 1016              13 23 4 LOST SENTINELS 19    MR. ROOT 994          187   
DARK FUNERAL 1150       5  5 0 METAL BLADE 69       FREXX 1122            187   
DYNAMITE 1151           5  4 0 METAL BLADE 69       DOCTOR LION 1127      186   
GAMESTOP 1241           0  1 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  MOTHMAN 1189          186  JUST REVENGED
GROCERY DELIVERY 1134   0  2 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  HOEB 1184             185   
HAMBURGLER 1251         0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  BANDIT PRINCE         187  NONE
JACKALOPE 1250          0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  THE WRECK KING        187  NONE
WENDIGO 1187            1  2 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146 186   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

1-4 turn so back to form it seems. I really wish I could turn in a decent turn 
consistently, but what are ya gonna do when random match you against the worst styles 
for your fighters and even challenges that got through I went 1-1. Oh well. I need 
more diversity as 3 out my 5 are lungers and I don't particularly like lungers but the 
are supposed to be the second best styles in the game in ADM. Let's see. Landlord, you 
do realize that reading headlines and recognizing that there are going to be in house 
tournyes is not the same as actually reading the whole article? Right? I mean, I said 
I didn't read them, didn't mean I did read the headline. Anyway, its fine, I found an 
old post and read all the stuff pertinent to the beer bong bash thing. Doesn't really 
get started until later but as long as we have something to say then we get a beer, 
and of course fielding a whole squad helps too. I am kinda hoping that all my guys die 
and I get to diversify my squad but I also kinda like them so no dark arena in the 
future either. Hope all are well. --  Eli

Pu Crawler -- You're an awesome teacher. Want to get a beer? -- Slick

Plank -- I had you... Right up until the man said go. -- Steven

Busty Cosplayer -- Just gotta say it... Orbs of power!!! -- Albert

Amberlith -- Nimble little minx, aren't you? -- William Buckwell

Brittany Griner -- Owwwwwh!!! -- Biff

Here is the list of teams pledged to participate in the voluntary CwaC thus far. 
Please let me know if you want in!!

     ALFREDOVISION(TM) -- alfredo
     CALL YOUR SHOT -- Riff Raff
     STRANGER DANGERS -- Ebenezer
     HOLD MY BEER -- Mr G

Mannequin -- Okay okay! More proof was supplied for that one lousy bottle than is in 
Biff's teamname! "I will forward the ad with the confirmation from HAL to prove it." 
Man I believe you! Instead, how about you "prove" to me you can still do a push-up? 
Now DROP AND GIVE ME 20!! -- sgt. alf

Biff -- Congratulations on your fine 5-0 performance last turn. Woot! Good job, 
brother; you da man. -- alf

Khagn -- Maybe you wanted to say, "Man it sucks getting old." I must say, however, I 
prefer it over the only other alternative. -- alf

Patron Silver -- Yeah. I gotta say you looked a little scary. May a painful and 
grizzly death fall upon you. -- GUS

Darque -- Congratulations on getting your ad in this time. Keep it up, buddy! -- alf

Mayor Fox -- How embarrassing. Weren't you even a "little" distracted? What, don't you 
like girls? Regardless, thanks for giving me a successful workout. -- NAKED AND AFRAID

9 skills in the last two turns! Huzzah!! -- GOAT WITH NO NAME

Well this one is not "great" by any means. However, after 6 turns of bad replacements 
and death in the Dark Arena, at least I finally got my hands on... -- THE LAST BEER

Doctor Lion -- Good fight. Guess I get to grind the Dead Tourney with this guy now. -- 
Producer

Bully Bobcat -- Thanks for the skills! Sure is nice to be receive skills for once. -- 
Anvil

Dy-Quil -- For a second I got worried I was gonna get scummed. Lethargic is a good 
word that describes you. -- Dark Funeral

ALL -- The Producer would like to present.... *drum roll*.... EPICUREAN! Be sure to 
check out her latest release from Metal Blade Records today! -- Producer

Cannon Mole -- Your style is wrong you should be a Slasher. -- Slick

Doom Blade -- Thanks for the lesson.  Now I know when your opponent offers to buy 
drinks the night before...  Don't do it. -- The very hungover Steven

Flaming Dr Pepper -- Dude, you're A Flamer. -- Albert

Teenage Daughter -- I really hope you're 19 and not 13 years old.  The embarrassment 
of you kicking my butt using only your fists was bad enough. -- William Buckwell

Metal Blade -- Condolences on Dynamite.  Wasn't aiming for vitals.  Definitely got 
grounds for a malpractice suit. -- Doctor Lion

Brittney Griner -- Maybe you can use the next nine years to wonder why Biff from 
Akakia was listed on Terrablood as a Lunger. -- Boring Pandemic

The squeeze has apparently been squoze. -- GameStop

Boring Pandemic will be doing the "contest within a contest" thing. Seriously, what 
else is there to do?  Go to some super-spreader event? Research monkey pox?

Redneck -- Yeah, well...hold on, I'll give you another reason to BF. -- Lorenzo F. 
Slosh

3-2-1 blast-off. When did he go? He with the heart of ice went last turn to the great 
village in the sky sent there by the warrior spirit Kylie Jenner Lip. Tide Pod 
delivered a loss to Postman. Tony the Ripper took a walk off the Plank. Mannequin was 
unable to make a move against Crackle J. Arius.  Scrolling Reddit seeing many gifs 
apparently knows well how to flip the bottle. -- Mr. G

Hoe -- Is that anyway to treat your Mother-In-Law? -- MIL

William Buckwell -- I know, we can be a handful at times. -- Teenage Daughter

Rose Mofford -- Local girls often play a part in my... -- Poor Judgement

Paytriot Game -- No skills? I guess I'll just have to be proud I avenged 
Humblebragger's death. -- Friendzone

I think the only person in a state of Constant Sorrow is ME! -- Mannequin, mgr of 
Constant Sorrow

Alf -- Two turns ago I declared that I was interested in the "contest within a 
contest" and I still am. -- Landlord of Robo Village

Silent Owl -- I don't give a hoot what you thought of that fight and you should know, 
I can fix anything. -- The Handyman

Replacement Theory -- I'm going to try one more time, and then collect my monthly 
bonus. -- Welfare Mom

Tala One-Hand -- I swear you used both hands in our fight. -- The Redneck

Alf -- Is there a listing of teams and managers that are competing in the contest?  
Thank you if so. -- Landlord of Robo Village

Alf -- C'mon over to my place, beers are always free for you, ya just need to pay for 
all the nuts you eat. -- Biff "The Boss" Frothingslosh, mgr 200 Proof

Tumble Belly -- We should do that again sometime, great fight! -- Chugs

Chartreuse -- Maybe next time you should try facing the right direction. -- Dark 
Inebriator

Girl Scout -- Luckily beat you? Luckily beat you?!?! I let you get some shots in so 
you felt good about yourself and got yourself a nice badge for you uniform. -- 
Teepeetotaler

Pregnant AND drunk, you're my kind of lady! -- Wasted

Shondailadondailadondaishondailadonnydailiotta -- I still have no idea what your name 
is, just glad I didn't have to work too hard. -- Pub Crawler

Seam Psychos -- I Claim My Next Bottle! -- Hammer, mgr of Ah Tongues Of Fire

Unlikely Heroes -- Broadsword is no match for a well prescribed Hatchet! -- Bennakyl 
Neuroticus

Eternal Blossom -- You mess with my basher, you get the fists -- Neuroticus 
Pharmanomicon

Do It Tomorrow -- I do not believe in procrastination, so I wish to do it today. It 
just happened not to be my day. -- Handy Roleplayer

Hop Onthebus Gus -- Is it just me, or were you attacking my chest on purpose? -- Busty 
Cosplayer

Burn Out -- I know why they call you Burn Out now, it's what you do, not who you are. 
-- Lonely Otaku

Skunk Ape -- Something smelled in that arena, and it was not me this time. -- Uptight 
Bookworm

Ok, I get it. I'm not doing so well. But it's all part of my master plan. Get the 
worst record for the first few weeks so you all let your guard down around me, then 
wham! I attack and win. (Now only if I can figure out that last part of my plan.) Once 
you all get a few more drinks in you, you all will be too tipsy to fight back. Yes, 
that's my plan! So learn it, live it, love it, and then fall for it. -- Dante, mgr. of 
Talk Nerdy 2 Me

Alfredo -- You are more than welcome to award me 15 bottles early, that would prolly 
make your job much easier... and then I could get sloshed much faster. That's a win-
win for everybody. -- Palinc Kalverus, mgr. Cereal Killers

All -- With almost 30 teams here, I thought the newsletters would be much, much 
longer. * Big 'ol sad face :,( * -- Palinc, #83

Plank -- I wonder if the registration desk wanted me to win in an upset, or to give 
you an easy win when they matched us against each other. I think it's the latter one. 
-- Tony the Ripper, #83

Destiny -- If only I got the jump... but I didn't. -- Pop C. Anthony, #83

Brahndahdahdiah -- OUCH! That hurt. -- Snap 'Foxy' Knox, #83

Dredlock -- I had you mixed up with someone else. I knew my mistake when I didn't see 
Master Shake and Meatwad near you. -- Cap'n C. Manson, #83 *as he still recovers from 
his infirmary visit*

Mannequin -- WTH?! They allow mannequins to stand in the arena? I felt like I was Chun 
Li kicking away at a car 'til it was destroyed. -- Crackle J. Arius, #83

Welfare Mom -- Well that was interesting. -- Replacement Theory

Command X -- Well done. -- OKStupid

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MANNEQUIN was dealt death by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
JACKALOPE was dealt death by THE WRECK KING in a exciting 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
MOPER 7 was murdered by SWINE GOLEM in a dull 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
HAMBURGLER was dealt death by BANDIT PRINCE in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DOOMBLADE was killed by FRIENDZONE in a 2 minute amateur's Bloodfeud competition.
DO IT TOMORROW savagely defeated MOTHMAN in a 7 minute novice's Bloodfeud struggle.
THE HANDYMAN overcame COMMAND X in a action packed 1 minute expert's Challenge fight.
VERTEX vanquished HELSTAR in a popular 2 minute gruesome uneven Challenge Title duel.
CUT & PASTE vanquished PASCAL LYNXEAR in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MR. ROOT executed YUTO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
THE SILENT OWL subdued THE REDNECK in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge competition.
DOCTOR LION was outwaited by I DON'T MOW in a exciting 7 minute Challenge battle.
PANDA was devastated by GENERAL LIABILITY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
BULLY BOBCAT was overpowered by GOAT WITH NO NAME in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
MR. READ-A-LOT slimly won victory over AMOXIKILLIN in a 6 minute Challenge duel.
CHUGS overcame TUMBLE BELLY in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
REPLACEMENT THEORY was devastated by ETERNAL BLOSSOM in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
PAYTRIOT GAME overpowered WELFARE MOM in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge match.
HOP ONTHEBUS GUS beat AHSHONDALAI in a popular 1 minute bloody Challenge match.
COCAINE SMILE devastated MAYOR FOX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
ALBERT was narrowly defeated by BUSTY COSPLAYER in a 3 minute novice's Challenge duel.
CRACKLE J. ARIUS handily defeated BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
WILLIAM BUCKWELL was viciously subdued by AMBERLITH in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
POOR JUDGEMENT was defeated by DESTINY in a 1 minute novice's Challenge duel.
WASTED was overpowered by LONELY OTAKU in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
TEEPEETOTALER subdued POSTMAN in a action packed 5 minute novice's Challenge melee.
PUB CRAWLER was handily defeated by SHONDAILADONDAI in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
PLANK was narrowly defeated by PATRON SILVER in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
MIDAS was defeated by STEVEN in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
WHAT MONTH IS IT was overcome by DRAGONWIND in a 5 minute novice's Challenge fight.
TEENAGE DAUGHTER savagely defeated BRITTNEY GRINER in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
MOTHER-IN-LAW beat SLICK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
BOTTLE FLIP was vanquished by HANDY ROLEPLAYER in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
OMEN was devastated by BENNAKYL in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SISTER GARLIC was luckily beaten by LORELEI in a 3 minute veteran's match.
OKSTUPID unbelievably bested ANVIL in a action packed 3 minute gory one-sided bout.
TRAPS was viciously subdued by VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 4 minute master's match.
SUPER CHICKEN overpowered TALA ONE-HAND in a action packed 4 minute uneven battle.
MECHADEPLORABLE demolished FURIOUS INHALER in a 8 minute uneven conflict.
CROAKER viciously subdued BOZO THE CLOWN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brutal fight.
DY-QUIL overcame FLAMING DR PEPPER in a exciting 1 minute master vs. novice melee.
GUMBO defeated LIZ DANFORTH in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
DARK FUNERAL was slaughtered by FREXX in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
DEORN was overcome by KHONDOHLAVISHAH in a 2 minute bout.
FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH overcame DEFIANT in a 2 minute duel.
DAKIA WILDROSE was demolished by NAKED AND AFRAID in a 1 minute mismatched match.
DREDLOCK overpowered HARMACIST in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
BURN OUT was savagely defeated by PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC in a 3 minute bout.
GI JANE handily defeated UPTIGHT BOOKWORM in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX demolished SCROLLING REDDIT in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
TONY THE RIPPER was overpowered by HOODED LEMMING in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
POP C. ANTHONY was demolished by HODAG in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
CAP'N C. MANSON was overpowered by KYLIE JENNER LIP in a 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
GIRL SCOUT was luckily beaten by WHAT'S STREAMING in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
CHARTREUSE was devastated by SKUNK APE in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
BIFF won victory over LOADED LARPER in a exciting 1 minute amateur's match.
HOEB viciously subdued HELLVETICA in a 5 minute gory amateur's bout.
DARK INEBRIATOR overpowered GREAT RESIGNATION in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ROSE MOFFORD was viciously subdued by EPICUREAN in a popular 2 minute novice's duel.
BARBARA EDEN savagely defeated TIDE POD in a exciting 3 minute beginner's melee.
PB&J demolished THE LAST BEER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     19         TOTAL PARRY       80 -  54 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  19         PARRY-STRIKE      36 -  27 -  3      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                      15         PARRY-LUNGE       13 -  13 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 13         LUNGING ATTACK    68 -  71 -  6      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   13         PARRY-RIPOSTE     19 -  21 -  1      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         SLASHING ATTACK   53 -  64 -  3      45  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         STRIKING ATTACK   29 -  36 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         WALL OF STEEL     40 -  50 -  5      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         AIMED BLOW        36 -  46 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  41 -  2      39  |

Turn 187 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    6 -  7         5  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY       11 -  8     WALL OF STEEL      6 -  7         3  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     8 - 11         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     AIMED BLOW         6 -  9         1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     6 -  6     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  5         1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     VERTEX 1025                22  12  1  147 PIXELBENDERS (36)
TOTAL PARRY      LORELEI 1044               22   8  0  103 LOST SENTINELS (19)
SLASHING ATTACK  BENNAKYL 1109              14   7  1   96 PHARMANOMICON (76)
LUNGING ATTACK   SISTER GARLIC 41           16   8  0   93 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
WALL OF STEEL    THE SILENT OWL 42          15   9  1   85 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
AIMED BLOW       OMEN 1102                  10   8  0   75 METAL BLADE (69)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129            7   4  0   74 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
BASHING ATTACK   DY-QUIL 1107               11  10  1   45 PHARMANOMICON (76)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CUT & PASTE 1036.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was DOCTOR LION 1127.  The ten other most popular fighters were SISTER GARLIC 
41, TALA ONE-HAND 1097, ANVIL 1113, CROAKER 1086, CUT & PASTE 1036, PREGNANT 
ALCOHOLIC 1170, BARBARA EDEN 1224, JACKALOPE 1250, THE REDNECK 1129, and POSTMAN 
1201.

The least popular fighter this week was MECHADEPLORABLE 1080.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were HELLVETICA 1236, MOPER 7 1247, AMOXIKILLIN 1105, DO IT TOMORROW 
1133, THE LAST BEER 1244, TIDE POD 1143, ROSE MOFFORD 1223, GREAT RESIGNATION 1245, 
CAP'N C. MANSON 1195, and POP C. ANTHONY 1194.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

VERTEX (20-1025) PIXELBENDERS (36)