DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/30/2022    Duedate: 09/12/2022

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-188

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THE HANDYMAN
ROBO VILLAGE (68)
(20-942) [19-23-1,124]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE HANDYMAN                   FRIENDZONE
ROBO VILLAGE (68)              CONSTANT SORROW (81)
(20-942) [19-23-1,124]         (20-1174) [5-1-2,35]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CUT & PASTE                    CUT & PASTE
PIXELBENDERS (36)              PIXELBENDERS (36)
(20-1036) [16-17-0,95]         (20-1036) [16-17-0,95]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STRANGER DANGERS (82)       48
2. UNLIKELY HEROES (4)         39      UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
3. CONSTANT SORROW (81)        38      Unchartered Team
4. METAL BLADE (69)            33
5. ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)      32      200 PROOF (87)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*200 PROOF (87)            15  10  0 60.0   1/ 4 PIXELBENDERS (36)        11  4 0
 2/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       71  52  3 57.7   2/12 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)   11  4 0
 3/ 5 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    178 143  9 55.5   3/15*CONSTANT SORROW (81)     10  5 1
 4/ 7 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    44  36  1 55.0   4/ 3 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     9  6 0
 5/ 4 PHARMANOMICON (76)        57  49  4 53.8   5/ 1*200 PROOF (87)            9  6 0
 6/ 6 PIXELBENDERS (36)        439 387 14 53.1   6/ 9 LOST SENTINELS (19)       8  4 0
 7/ 9 WEIRDING WAYS (53)       195 178 18 52.3   7/ 6 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       8  7 0
 8/ 8 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        109 100  2 52.2   8/ 7 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   8  7 0
 9/10 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      477 447 29 51.6   9/11 METAL BLADE (69)          8  7 0
10/ 3*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       16  15  1 51.6  10/24 WEIRDING WAYS (53)        7  3 1
11/11 METAL BLADE (69)         100  98  2 50.5  11/ 2*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       7  6 0
12/12 HERO'S INC (67)          121 119  3 50.4  12/ 8*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     7  8 1
13/14 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       436 449 14 49.3  13/17 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         7  8 0
14/13*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     12  13  1 48.0  14/20*HOLD MY BEER (79)         6  8 1
15/16 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       395 460 19 46.2  15/19 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       6  8 0
16/17 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   35  41  2 46.1  16/10 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        6  9 2
17/15*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       11  13  0 45.8  17/23*STRANGER DANGERS (82)     6  9 1
18/20*STRANGER DANGERS (82)     11  14  1 44.0  18/ 5 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        6  9 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/23*CONSTANT SORROW (81)      13  17  2 43.3  19/22 PHARMANOMICON (76)        5 10 0
20/19*HOLD MY BEER (79)         10  14  1 41.7  20/16 HERO'S INC (67)           5 10 0
21/22 LOST SENTINELS (19)      361 543 39 39.9  21/14*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       5 10 0
22/21*CEREAL KILLERS (83)        9  16  0 36.0  22-18*TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)      4  6 0
23/18*LOCAL GIRLS (88)           6  13  0 31.6  23/13*LOCAL GIRLS (88)          4 10 0
24-24*TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)       6  13  0 31.6  24/21*CEREAL KILLERS (83)       4 11 0
25/25*AKAKIA (86)                4  16  0 20.0  25/25*AKAKIA (86)               3 12 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                99 BEERS III!!! (+100) CONTEST STANDINGS -- TURN 4/187

                      POS TEAM              BOTTLES  mgr
                      
                       1  CEREAL KILLERS       15    Palinc
                       2  200 PROOF             4    Biff
                       3  WAY OF ALL FLESH      4    Manray
                       4  PIXELBENDERS          4    Lorenzo
                       5  ALFREDOVISION(TM)     4    alfredo
                       6  METAL BLADE           4    Producer
                       7  HERO'S INC            4    Eli
                       8  PANDEMIC BOREDOM      4    Pappy
                       9  AH TONGUES OF FIRE    4    Hammer
                      10  HOLD MY BEER          4    Mr G
                      11  CONSTANT SORROW       4    Mannequin
                      12  TALK NERDY TO ME      4    Dante
                      13  ENDLESS HUNGER        3    Khagn
                      14  PHARMANOMICON         3    Neuroticus
                      15  ROBO VILLAGE          3    Landlord
                      16  CALL YOUR SHOT        3    Riff Raff
                      17  DARQUE KNIGHTS        2    Darque
                      18  LOCAL GIRLS           2    Professor
                      19  STRANGER DANGERS      2    Ebenezer
                      20  AKAKIA                2    Coach
                      21  UNLIKELY HEROES       1    DD
                      22  WEIRDING WAYS         1    Weirdo
                      23  THIRSTY THUGS         0    DMobster
                      24  HUCKLE'S CATS         0    Huckle
                      25  LOST SENTINELS       -3    lost

Okay just kiddin'... CEREAL KILLERS only has 4 bottles, haha.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Ah, careful what you wish for there, Helstar.  

Hey kids, Vetex here. Thought I'd drop some numbers on you guys. I'm a wee lass, but 
I'm thicc! Got me some smarts too. 17-12-3-21-11-9-11, chew on them apples. I really 
wish we could do a Queen of the Mountain approach to the DM throne. How about I go to 
ADM but only after someone kicks me off?

I'll keep this short & sweet -- see y'all in ADM. Smootch to the nooch.

                                      ~ Vertex ~

                                      SPY REPORT

Welcome to the most beautiful arena in Seam!  Do not bother to remind me that it is 
the only arena in Seam.  I do not need your negativity today.  I want to bid welcome 
to all the managers and gladiators that made it out for today's games.  It was a busy 
turn today with 62 total fights.  There were a few Dark Arena bouts as well as a 
departing Lord Protector.  We crowned a new Duelmaster as well!  As I said, it was a 
busy day.  Let's take a look at all of that action, shall we?

Let's start with Lord Protector Vertex.  This was his final turn in the arena, so the 
fans got to give him a nice send-off.  Vertex was also our reigning Duelmaster when he 
received his invitation to the Isle of the Eye.  You know how this works, either 
Vertex loses the throne to our new Duelmaster, or Vertex wins and we pick a Duelmaster 
by recognition points.  Vertex won!  Sister Garlic made a match of it at 2-minutes, 
but it was to no avail.  Now, we move to recognition points.  At the end of the day, 
the Commission awarded the Duelmaster's throne to The Handyman.  Congrats to Lord 
Protector Vertex for leaving with a win, and congratulations to The Handyman for 
securing the throne.

Call Your Shot is our most avoided team.  They were mostly avoided by 200 Proof.  You 
would think those teams would want to get together at some point.  Welfare Mom was our 
most challenged warrior and probably in more ways than one.  Hooded Lemming got his 
challenge through to Welfare Mom, and it was not pretty for her.  Wow, even mothers 
cannot get any respect in this arena.  Hooded Lemming won in a 5-minute fight that 
felt like it would never end.  Speaking of respect, I'm not even going to mention the 
multitude of down challenges this cycle.  I guess it will only get worse as the 
official start of the contest approaches on turn 199.

No new graduates today, but there were a few that we know will NEVER graduate.  Seven 
warriors were sent to the Dark Arena.  At this point in my spy reporting career, I 
don't even bother learning a warrior's name until their 10th arena fight.  They may 
still be sent to the Dark Arena, but it is less likely.  There were two "regular" 
deaths, as some call them, that occurred during the daylight hours.  Girl Scout and 
Great Resignation decided that living was just too much to bear and have passed on.  
Well, maybe their opponents decided living was too much for them to bear.  Either way, 
they won't be graduating from Seam.

I think that sums up all the relevant news.  I must be going, my darlings.  The 
weather is a sweltering, oppressive heat, so I believe I am going to retire and have a 
little drink.  Debby Tonte keeps telling me how refreshing these umbrella drinks are, 
so maybe I will try one this afternoon.  I hope to see you next time, and maybe our 
missing teams will return to us as well.  We can't wait to see if The Handyman can 
hold onto the throne and if more new teams will join us. See you then, my sweets!

                                          -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE HANDYMAN 942             19  23  1   124       ROBO VILLAGE (68)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LORELEI 1044                 23   8  0   108       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 SUPER CHICKEN 39             17   8  1   105       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 COMMAND X 1060               18  10  0   103       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 679          25  23  1    99       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          26  11  0    98       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         17   6  0    97       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 MR. ROOT 994                 18  21  2    95       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 CUT & PASTE 1036             16  17  0    95       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 BENNAKYL 1109                14   8  1    95       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 SISTER GARLIC 41             16   9  0    93       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SILENT OWL 42            15  10  1    90       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 HELSTAR 976                  19  21  0    89       METAL BLADE (69)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OMEN 1102                    11   8  0    89       METAL BLADE (69)
 OKSTUPID 950                 24  13  0    85       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 THE REDNECK 1129              8   4  0    83       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 TALA ONE-HAND 1097           14   6  0    81       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 ANVIL 1113                    9   8  0    79       METAL BLADE (69)
 DOCTOR LION 1127              7   8  1    78       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 I DON'T MOW 941              16  26  0    74       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 TRAPS 983                    15  26  1    72       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         13  12  0    72       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         12   9  1    67       PHARMANOMICON (76)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148        9   3  0    66       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 CROAKER 1086                 10  11  0    64       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887        15  14  0    59       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 GUMBO 1075                    9  15  1    57       LOST SENTINELS (19)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PANDA 1132                    7   7  0    56       HERO'S INC (67)
 FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552           6   1  0    52       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 FREXX 1122                    8   8  2    50       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 BOZO THE CLOWN 1131          11   3  0    49       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 DY-QUIL 1107                 12  10  1    48       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 SUICIDE MISSION 1051          9   7  0    42       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 AHSHONDALAI 498               9   8  1    41       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 AMBERLITH 1229                4   0  0    41       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078             8  15  0    40       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154         6   5  0    40       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077           8  15  0    39       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 COCAINE SMILE 1180            5   2  0    38       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 NAKED AND AFRAID 1160         7   2  0    35       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 FRIENDZONE 1174               5   1  2    35       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 KHONDOHLAVISHAH 506           9   6  1    34       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158          5   5  0    34       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEORN 1152                    6   5  1    33       HERO'S INC (67)
 PAYTRIOT GAME 1162            4   4  1    33       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 PATRON SILVER 1197            4   1  0    33       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
-DREDLOCK 1172                 3   2  0    33       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 SKUNK APE 1190                4   1  0    32       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       3   4  0    32       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105              8   7  0    31       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 SHAKIN' FOR BACON 1050        7   9  1    31       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 CHUGS 1219                    4   1  0    30       200 PROOF (87)
 KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146         3   2  1    30       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 POOR JUDGEMENT 1213           3   2  0    30       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
-DESTINY 1231                  3   0  0    30       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 HODAG 1188                    3   2  0    29       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238         3   0  0    25       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             3   3  0    24       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557           3   3  0    23       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 MAYOR FOX 1179                2   5  0    23       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 LIZ DANFORTH 1222             2   2  0    23       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 CANNON MOLE 1139              3   1  2    22       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133           5   0  1    21       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 CRACKLE J. ARIUS 1193         3   2  0    21       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 HOODED LEMMING 1249           2   0  0    21       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX 1192         2   3  0    20       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       4   4  0    19       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159           4   6  0    18       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216          4   1  0    18       200 PROOF (87)
 MOTHMAN 1189                  3   2  1    18       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
-LONELY OTAKU 1202             1   3  0    18       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135         1   4  0    17       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218            4   1  0    16       200 PROOF (87)
 BURN OUT 1157                 3   7  0    16       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 DEFIANT 1182                  2   4  0    16       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
-HANDY ROLEPLAYER 1205         2   1  0    16       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 HOEB 1184                     4   2  1    15       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 HARMACIST 1126                3   6  0    15       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DRAGONWIND 1168               3   3  0    15       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 WELFARE MOM 1161              3   6  0    15       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 MIDAS 1226                    1   3  0    15       HERO'S INC (67)
 GI JANE 1171                  3   4  0    14       HERO'S INC (67)
 MOTHER-IN-LAW 1239            2   1  0    14       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 THE LAST BEER 1244            1   1  0    14       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200        3   2  0    13       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 POP C. ANTHONY 1194           2   3  0    13       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 HELLVETICA 1236               2   1  0    13       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 MANDWAR 1259                  1   0  0    13       METAL BLADE (69)
 SCROLLING REDDIT 1136         3   2  0    11       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 PLANK 1145                    3   2  0    11       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137         3   2  0    11       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 CHARTREUSE 1199               2   3  0    11       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 SHONDAILADONDAI 856           1   4  0    11       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 BOTTLE FLIP 1142              1   4  0    11       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 SLICK 1208                    1   3  0    11       AKAKIA (86)
 VERUS CAIN 1255               1   0  0    11       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 PUB CRAWLER 1220              2   3  0     9       200 PROOF (87)
-BUSTY COSPLAYER 1203          2   2  0     9       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 CAP'N C. MANSON 1195          2   3  0     9       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 TIDE POD 1143                 2   3  0     9       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224             2   2  0     8       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 BIFF 1212                     2   2  0     8       AKAKIA (86)
 POSTMAN 1201                  1   4  0     7       HERO'S INC (67)
 WASTED 1217                   1   4  0     7       200 PROOF (87)
-UPTIGHT BOOKWORM 1204         1   3  0     6       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225          1   3  0     6       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223             1   3  0     6       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 STEVEN 1209                   1   3  0     6       AKAKIA (86)
 EPICUREAN 1246                1   1  0     5       METAL BLADE (69)
 ALBERT 1210                   0   4  0     4       AKAKIA (86)
 WILLIAM BUCKWELL 1211         0   4  0     4       AKAKIA (86)
-LOADED LARPER 1248            0   1  0     1       TALK NERDY 2 ME (85)
 PARNO 1258                    0   1  0     1       LOST SENTINELS (19)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GIRL SCOUT 1198         1  4 0 CALL YOUR SHOT 84    DO IT TOMORROW 1133   188   
PB&J 1235               1  2 0 CALL YOUR SHOT 84    SWINE GOLEM           188  NONE
TONY THE RIPPER 1191    0  5 0 CEREAL KILLERS 83    BLACK ORC             188  NONE
HUMBLEBRAGGER 1214      0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   PAYTRIOT GAME 1162    184  REVENGED
MOPER 8 1260            0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   DARK CHAMPION         188  NONE
COR SEVENBLADES 1032   12 17 1 DARQUE KNIGHTS 22    THE SILENT OWL 42     184  NOT REVENGED
DARKHEART 1165          1  1 1 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    FRIENDZONE 1174       184  REVENGED
DOOMBLADE 1169          4  1 0 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    FRIENDZONE 1174       187   
LEECH 82 1254           0  1 0 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    WURM KIN              188  NONE
WERESLOTH 125           0  5 0 LIGHT OF THE MOON 21 DEORN 1152            184  NOT REVENGED
WNBA WASHOUT 1252       0  1 0 LOCAL GIRLS 88       SWINE GOLEM           188  NONE
YUTO 1016              13 23 4 LOST SENTINELS 19    MR. ROOT 994          187   
DARK FUNERAL 1150       5  5 0 METAL BLADE 69       FREXX 1122            187   
DYNAMITE 1151           5  4 0 METAL BLADE 69       DOCTOR LION 1127      186   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GAMESTOP 1241           0  1 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  MOTHMAN 1189          186  REVENGED
GREAT RESIGNATIO 1245   0  2 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  CANNON MOLE 1139      188   
GROCERY DELIVERY 1134   0  2 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  HOEB 1184             185   
SNARK 1256              0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  HIGH ELF              188  NONE
SNIPE 1257              0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  DARK CHAMPION         188  NONE
WENDIGO 1187            1  2 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146 186   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

[submitted late from last turn]

Welp, we'll see if this ad is very late for this turn or very early for, uh, I guess 
now that would be this turn. -- Ebenezer "Overslept Again"  Frothingslosh

Hello yet again #20, Local Girls improve to .500. Still seeking 5th member! -- The 
Professor

[this turn]

Boss, now that's the way to do it! You wrote one really simple, short ad and sent it 
off to HAL RIGHT AWAY just to make sure you would not forget and would not miss 
getting your bottle. Now that's what I call efficiency! Well done. -- alf

Here is the list of teams pledged to participate in the voluntary CwaC thus far. 
Please let me know if you want in!!

ALFREDOVISION(TM) -- alfredo
CALL YOUR SHOT -- Riff Raff
STRANGER DANGERS -- Ebenezer
HOLD MY BEER -- Mr G
WAY OF ALL FLESH -- Manray
PANDEMIC BOREDOM -- Pappy
ROBO VILLAGE -- Landlord

Biff -- Drinks are ALWAYS on you, buddy! NO FREE NUTS? Darn I really like to keep my 
nuts free!. -- alf

Landlord -- Ya know...I could include manager names in the contest standings; a lot of 
people might like that...and I can totally do that! I don't even need a reason. -- alf

Busty -- Uuhh...yes I was! It's such a big target that it's hard to miss. -- GUS

Palinc -- I think the newsletter has been pretty lively, but quite a good number are 
missing out on getting that free bottle. -- alf

For those of you with 4 bottles: way to go, people! For those with less...it ain't 
brain surgery, folks! Write to "HAL" at ads@reality.com RIGHT NOW! I'll even write the 
ad for you and you can just "cut and paste." Here:

     alf -- Gimme a bottle. -- [insert your name here]

BTW...you DO actually need to replace  [insert your name here] with your name, 
otherwise I won't know who the heck wrote it lol. -- alf 

alf -- Gimme my damn bottle! -- Khagn

GC -- I blame you for my missing ad to alf last turn. Get a clue! -- Khagn

Does anyone understand these ads that are written, anymore? o_0 -- Khagn

Did anyone catch that last turn we accidentally signed our ads as "Boring Pandemic" 
but our team name is actually "Pandemic Boredom"? No?  Neither did we.  It's all the 
same.  It doesn't really matter. -- Pandemic Boredom

Mothman -- Thankfully I just got my PhD in cryptozoology from the Institute of 
Metaphysical Humanistic Science so I was able to handle you.  I'm working on 
completing the Beer Judge Certification Program (BJCP) next! -- Dr. Do It Tomorrow

Alf -- Dada, baba. -- Weirdo, mgr Weirding Ways

All -- We are the Weirding Ways Freak Show and Circus. -- Weirdo, mgr Weirding Ways 

Nothing new to say. 1-4 turn again. Nothing special about any of these guys. I will 
see where they are in the next couple of turns and if I don't see some improvement 
then I'll dark arena a few to test the roll up gods' waters.  In the meantime, I'm 
just going to run on maintenance since even when I challenge I lose. -- Eli 

Alf -- Thank you for so kindly not giving me a bottle of beer last week.  I had to 
fast for a doctor's appointment, and the temptation might have proven too much.  Very 
thoughtful of you.  This week, please give me two! -- Riff-Raff, Mgr Call Your Shot

Plank -- You look like you need a drink. -- Patron Silver

Dy-Quil -- I'm quite cross that you were within matchup range.  Get up into Challenger 
Adepts where you belong! -- Flaming Dr Pepper

What's Streaming -- Nothing good! I've reached the end of Netflix. Care to suggest 
something? -- Dirty Girl Scout

Skunk Ape -- Ewww!!! - Chartreuse

The Last Beer -- We'll split it! - PB&J

GUS -- Bitter, party of one.  Your table is ready. -- Patron Silver

Ok I'm in for the voluntary CwaC.  I know I'm just donating money but it will be fun, 
right? -- Joseph the Akaka Team Coach.

Mother in law -- Fighting you triggered my PTSD. You are scary. -- Slick

Midas -- Arcs from overhead with maximum momentum and force.  No need to be upset bro, 
I will lay off your sister. -- Steven

Busty Cosplayer-- You're very light on your feet... Considering your name. -- Albert

Loaded Larger -- Did you have a bet on with your teammates?  Only using a weapon in 
your off hand. -- Biff

Pandemic day 988.  I have lost all sense of time, and float adrift in a haze of 
nihilism and apathy.  Have I already sent in a personal ad?  Who can say. -- Ebenezer

Shondailadondai -- The spy master misspelled your name while talking about how hard 
your name is to spell?  That's what happens in an overly-tight labor market, I guess.  
Anyway, it's the highlight of my week so far! -- Pandemic Boredom

Seam Psychos --- Another Bottle Please! Contest within a contest I see! Hee Hee! Count 
Me In! --- Hammer, mgr of Ah Tongues Of Fire

Seam -- It's getting closer and closer to when Alf lets us really cut loose for the 
contest. I apologize now for all the murderers and the overall level of blood shed 
that will be incoming -- Biff "The Boss" Frothingslosh, mgr 200 Proof

Slick -- You should know you can't pull a fast one on your Mother-In-Law.

Brittney Griner -- You looked rusty. You need to ask the guards to give you more time 
in the yard to practice. -- Teenage Daughter

Destiny -- Well that was a disappointment. Well done. -- Poor Judgement

Doomblade -- Mess with the bull and you get the horns. -- Friendzone

Alf -- How much time do I get to drop and give you those 20? Can I put it on a payment 
plan and do one per turn? -- Mannequin, mgr Constant Sorrow

Alf -- Not only do I want my point, I also want my $2.00! -- Mannequin, mgr Constant 
Sorrow

1-4. What is it good for? A win for Kylie Jenner Lip and one bottle I guess.

All -- We are temporarily OOS of pain reducing prescriptions, we will recommend the 
alternative of pain-FUL prescriptions! -- Neuroticus, Manager of Pharmanomicon

Alf -- Son of a . . . gun!  I can't remember to keep writing these personal ads! -- 
Master Darque

William B. Well -- I could do this all day. I'd offer 2 out of 3, but... -- Amberlith

OK Stupid -- Thanks. -- Command X

Drinks all around! -- Manray

Dante -- Let's go to the pub and drink and let our warriors fight on the sands. They 
don't need us for a couple months. Just sit back and collect the 1 bottle with a 
comment each turn... make sure you make a comment, though. This one is mine. *holds 
his hand out for his next participation bottle* This one will make 5 turns/bottles. 
The competition in this arena is challenging so the 15 bottle start should help. -- 
Palinc Kalverus, manager of Cereal Killers

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TONY THE RIPPER was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
PB&J was barely slain by SWINE GOLEM in a exciting 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
MOPER 8 was murdered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LEECH 82 was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
WNBA WASHOUT was narrowly killed by SWINE GOLEM in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
SNARK was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
SNIPE was assassinated by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
DRAGONWIND was savagely defeated by FRIENDZONE in a 5 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS unbelievably bested DOCTOR LION in a 4 minute uneven Challenge melee.
SUPER CHICKEN luckily beat BENNAKYL in a popular 4 minute expert's Challenge duel.
COMMAND X beat MR. ROOT in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge melee.
MECHADEPLORABLE outlasted HELSTAR in a unpopular 22 minute veteran's Challenge match.
CUT & PASTE was unbelievably bested by PASCAL LYNXEAR in a 8 minute Challenge contest.
OMEN overpowered I DON'T MOW in a 3 minute gory mismatched Challenge conflict.
OKSTUPID slimly lost to THE HANDYMAN in a 5 minute master's Challenge Title bout.
GENERAL LIABILITY overpowered FREXX in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
ANVIL devastated TRAPS in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight.
EARTHQUAKE SEASON was savagely defeated by FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 10 minute match.
BOZO THE CLOWN unbelievably bested BULLY BOBCAT in a popular 5 minute Challenge bout.
MR. READ-A-LOT was demolished by GOAT WITH NO NAME in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
NAKED AND AFRAID vanquished ALBERT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
SHAKIN' FOR BACON defeated WASTED in a 2 minute veteran vs. novice Challenge match.
HOP ONTHEBUS GUS vanquished DAKIA WILDROSE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PAYTRIOT GAME vanquished GI JANE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MAYOR FOX viciously subdued SHONDAILADONDAI in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
MOTHER-IN-LAW outwaited TIDE POD in a 7 minute brutal beginner's Challenge bout.
CANNON MOLE easily killed GREAT RESIGNATION in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
STEVEN was overpowered by MIDAS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
TEENAGE DAUGHTER handily defeated BURN OUT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ROSE MOFFORD was defeated by CHARTREUSE in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fight.
PUB CRAWLER was beaten by SLICK in a 1 minute brutal beginner's Challenge bout.
WHAT MONTH IS IT devastated CAP'N C. MANSON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DO IT TOMORROW delivered the death blow upon GIRL SCOUT in a 6 minute battle.
HOODED LEMMING savagely defeated WELFARE MOM in a popular 5 minute Challenge fray.
VERTEX savagely defeated SISTER GARLIC in a 2 minute gruesome veteran's conflict.
LORELEI beat THE SILENT OWL in a popular 6 minute bloody expert's bout.
THE REDNECK demolished CROAKER in a 1 minute uneven competition.
FURIOUS INHALER was beaten by TALA ONE-HAND in a 2 minute fight.
PANDA demolished ETERNAL BLOSSOM in a 1 minute uneven duel.
KHONDOHLAVISHAH was devastated by GUMBO in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SUICIDE MISSION outwaited LIZ DANFORTH in a 11 minute veteran vs. amateur conflict.
DY-QUIL unbelievably bested CHUGS in a 2 minute brutal master vs. novice melee.
AMOXIKILLIN was savagely defeated by PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC in a 2 minute gory battle.
AHSHONDALAI vanquished DEFIANT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
AMBERLITH handily defeated DARK INEBRIATOR in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
REPLACEMENT THEORY was subdued by KYLIE JENNER LIP in a 1 minute match.
DEORN overcame SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX in a popular 1 minute veteran vs. novice bout.
FLAMING DR PEPPER was luckily beaten by TUMBLE BELLY in a 2 minute bloody conflict.
COCAINE SMILE handily defeated HARMACIST in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
PATRON SILVER subdued CRACKLE J. ARIUS in a 2 minute novice's brawl.
BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH devastated PLANK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
HOEB was devastated by SKUNK APE in a popular 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MOTHMAN vanquished PARNO in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
POSTMAN was narrowly defeated by BOTTLE FLIP in a 5 minute bloody amateur's brawl.
WILLIAM BUCKWELL was outlasted by TEEPEETOTALER in a 8 minute novice's match.
BIFF lost to POP C. ANTHONY in a 1 minute amateur's match.
POOR JUDGEMENT demolished BARBARA EDEN in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
BRITTNEY GRINER was devastated by THE LAST BEER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
HELLVETICA bested EPICUREAN in a action packed 5 minute gory beginner's match.
HODAG overpowered WHAT'S STREAMING in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
SCROLLING REDDIT was unbelievably bested by VERUS CAIN in a 4 minute novice's match.
MANDWAR vanquished SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         PARRY-STRIKE      39 -  26 -  3      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     21         TOTAL PARRY       88 -  61 -  1      59  |
|AIMED BLOW                      14         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  16 -  0      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         LUNGING ATTACK    72 -  81 -  7      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         SLASHING ATTACK   55 -  63 -  3      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         STRIKING ATTACK   32 -  37 -  1      46  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-RIPOSTE     20 -  24 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         AIMED BLOW        42 -  51 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         WALL OF STEEL     41 -  56 -  5      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         BASHING ATTACK    31 -  46 -  2      40  |

Turn 188 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     5 -  6         5  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         8 -  6     WALL OF STEEL      5 -  7         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
TOTAL PARRY       12 -  9     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         1  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  5         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              LUNGING ATTACK     8 - 14         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      LORELEI 1044               23   8  0  108 LOST SENTINELS (19)
PARRY-STRIKE     COMMAND X 1060             18  10  0  103 PIXELBENDERS (36)
SLASHING ATTACK  BENNAKYL 1109              14   8  1   95 PHARMANOMICON (76)
LUNGING ATTACK   SISTER GARLIC 41           16   9  0   93 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
WALL OF STEEL    THE SILENT OWL 42          15  10  1   90 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
AIMED BLOW       OMEN 1102                  11   8  0   89 METAL BLADE (69)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129            8   4  0   83 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
BASHING ATTACK   EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887      15  14  0   59 WEIRDING WAYS (53)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    SUICIDE MISSION 1051        9   7  0   42 WEIRDING WAYS (53)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CUT & PASTE 1036.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CUT & PASTE 1036.  The ten other most popular fighters were GIRL SCOUT 1198, 
THE HANDYMAN 942, BULLY BOBCAT 1078, BENNAKYL 1109, HOODED LEMMING 1249, THE SILENT 
OWL 42, DOCTOR LION 1127, EPICUREAN 1246, PB&J 1235, and SCROLLING REDDIT 1136.

The least popular fighter this week was HELSTAR 976.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MECHADEPLORABLE 1080, FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552, EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887, LIZ 
DANFORTH 1222, SUICIDE MISSION 1051, DRAGONWIND 1168, TIDE POD 1143, TEEPEETOTALER 
1218, WHAT'S STREAMING 1137, and HELLVETICA 1236.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

VERTEX (20-1025) PIXELBENDERS (36)