DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 09/27/2022    Duedate: 10/10/2022

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-190

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THE HANDYMAN
ROBO VILLAGE (68)
(20-942) [21-23-1,145]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE HANDYMAN                   PATRON SILVER
ROBO VILLAGE (68)              CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
(20-942) [21-23-1,145]         (20-1197) [6-1-0,64]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CUT & PASTE                    MR. ROOT
PIXELBENDERS (36)              HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
(20-1036) [17-18-0,111]        (20-994) [19-22-2,92]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)      52
2. UNLIKELY HEROES (4)         26      ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
3. CALL YOUR SHOT (84)         25      Unchartered Team
4. THIRSTY THUGS (31)          25
5. METAL BLADE (69)            21      200 PROOF (87)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*200 PROOF (87)            21  14  0 60.0   1/ 1 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)   14  1 0
 2/ 3 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    53  37  1 58.9   2/ 7 METAL BLADE (69)         10  5 0
 3/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       77  56  3 57.9   3/ 3 PIXELBENDERS (36)        10  5 0
 4/ 4 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    183 148  9 55.3   4/10 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       9  6 0
 5/ 8 PHARMANOMICON (76)        62  54  5 53.4   5/13 HERO'S INC (67)           9  6 0
 6/ 5 PIXELBENDERS (36)        445 391 14 53.2   6/ 5 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       9  6 0
 7- 7 WEIRDING WAYS (53)       195 178 18 52.3   7/ 4*CONSTANT SORROW (81)      8  7 1
 8/11 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      483 451 29 51.7   8/ 9*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       8  7 0
 9-12*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       16  15  1 51.6   9/ 2 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     8  7 0
10/ 6 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        113 106  2 51.6  10/17 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        7  8 0
11/ 9 METAL BLADE (69)         107 101  2 51.4  11/ 6 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         7  8 0
12/13 HERO'S INC (67)          127 123  3 50.8  12/12*200 PROOF (87)            7  8 0
13/10*CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       17  17  0 50.0  13/22 PHARMANOMICON (76)        6  9 1
14/14 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       441 454 14 49.3  14/18*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     6  9 1
15/15 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       401 464 19 46.4  15/11 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        6  9 0
16/17*PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     16  19  1 45.7  16/ 8 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   6  9 0
17/16 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   38  48  2 44.2  17/15*STRANGER DANGERS (82)     5  8 0
18/18*CONSTANT SORROW (81)      17  23  3 42.5  18/16*CEREAL KILLERS (83)       5  8 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 LOST SENTINELS (19)      364 550 39 39.8  19/14 LOST SENTINELS (19)       5  9 0
20/19*STRANGER DANGERS (82)     13  20  1 39.4  20/21*HOLD MY BEER (79)         5  9 0
21/22*CEREAL KILLERS (83)       13  20  0 39.4  21-20 WEIRDING WAYS (53)        4  1 1
22/21*HOLD MY BEER (79)         13  21  1 38.2  22/25*LOCAL GIRLS (88)          4  9 0
23/24*LOCAL GIRLS (88)          10  17  0 37.0  23/19*AKAKIA (86)               4 11 0
24/25*AKAKIA (86)                7  23  0 23.3  24-24*ENDLESS HUNGER (80)       0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

99 BEERS III!!! (+100) CONTEST STANDINGS -- TURN 6/189

POS  TEAM                     BOTTLES  mgr
 1   200 PROOF                   6     Biff
 2   WAY OF ALL FLESH            6     Manray
 3   ALFREDOVISION(TM)           6     alfredo
 4   PIXELBENDERS                6     Lorenzo
 5   PANDEMIC BOREDOM            6     Pappy
 6   AH TONGUES OF FIRE          6     Hammer
 7   CONSTANT SORROW             6     Mannequin
 8   HOLD MY BEER                6     Mr G
 9   HERO'S INC                  5     Eli
10   CEREAL KILLERS              5     Palinc
11   PHARMANOMICON               5     Neuroticus
12   METAL BLADE                 5     Producer
13   CALL YOUR SHOT              5     Riff Raff
14   TALK NERDY TO ME            4     Dante
15   ROBO VILLAGE                4     Landlord
16   STRANGER DANGERS            4     Eb
17   AKAKIA                      4     Coach
18   DARQUE KNIGHTS              3     Darque
19   LOCAL GIRLS                 3     Professor
20   WEIRDING WAYS               2     Weirdo
21   UNLIKELY HEROES             2     DD

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

                   *TURF WAR 13 (TW13) RULES* (revision 9-7-22-WS)

                  Starting Jan, right after the FTF, T453 (10 turns)
               Bring acclaim and glory to the North Fork (DM47) arena.

Anyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances created 
solely to compete in the Turf War!  To participate, each alliance must:

1.  Indicate in the newsletter or on the RSI site your three team alliance. 
    (You must state your alliance name, 3 team names, and 3 manager names.)

2.  Request 3 gift certificates per manager from RSI as entry fee for TW13. 
    RSI will hold all certs and distribute as team rus to TW13 winners.  
    (**Change from past TWs)  DO NOT send, or have sent, certs to the Moderators.  
    Deadline: December 31, 2022.

3.  Teams and warriors must be listed in the DM452 NL in order to compete. 
    (This allows challenges on TW turn 1.)

Other rules and discussion.

1.  Only one (1) team per manager/player may be active in the arena.

2.  If at any time, the Moderators determine that any non-TW team, whether a 2nd team 
    or a non-TW manager's team, in the arena is aiding and/or abetting any TW alliance 
    or team, the affected points won by the gifted team/alliance will be disallowed 
    and the aiding non-TW team will be asked to desist from play in the arena until 
    after the Turf War concludes.

3.  As usual, any Turf War team must be shown/be posted in the DM47 Newsletter just 
    prior (T452) to the actual scoring/participation start on T453 (e.g. new teams, 
    transfers, current teams must show up in the newsletter prior to the beginning of 
    participation, allowing opponent knowledge and challenging/avoiding). Violations 
    will result in immediate manager disqualification (including team point 
    adjustments) from the Turf War, so be sure to take any multiple teams OFF of team 
    maintenance and be certain not to run any other team warriors.

4.  The moderators will score the Turf War and settle any and all disputes as they 
    arise.  Their decisions will be final. (Note: the intent is to have a very 
    thorough set of rules so that few decisions, if any, are required from the 
    moderators.)

5.  Definitions:
    Team     = individual manager's stable
    Alliance = three teams united

6.  No warrior may be substituted without the proper use of the DA or arena death or 
    death in a tournament or graduation. There must be a maximum of five only on a 
    team at any point and time. (The penalty for such substitution is -10 points.)

7.  It is not the spirit of competition to challenge fellow members of the same 
    alliance. Hence, challenges as such will be scored as losses for both warriors.

8.  Downchallenges:  
    A downchallenge = a warrior challenges a warrior with lesser recognition points.
    No challenge or bloodfeud by the Duelmaster shall be deemed a downchallenge.
    No challenge of the Duelmaster shall be deemed a downchallenge.
    Bloodfeuds against warriors with lesser recognition are deemed downchallenges.

9.  Tournament participation is allowed and encouraged as a great form of acclaim and 
    recognition for North Fork and is an opportunity for warriors to gain skills and 
    preferred challenging within the Turf War.

10. There will be NO alliance or team changes once the contest has begun.  If you 
    begin the Turf War with Alliance A, you must end the Turf War with Alliance A.  If 
    you begin the Turf War with Team B, you must end the Turf War with Team B.

11. The Dark Arena may be used at any time without penalty. However, only one win 
    against a D.A. Monster per each stable warrior shall count as a win. Additional 
    wins will count as a loss for that warrior.

12. It is highly recommended that managers direct RSI to place their team ON 
    TEAM MAINTENANCE for the TW13 duration so that your team will fight (and earn 
    points) even if your submitted new strategies are delayed or don't make it.

_____________________________________________________________________

SCORING will be as follows: 

Team Points
     a.  Fights made: (includes DA fights)
          1 = 0 points
          2 = 0 points
          3 = 1 point
          4 = 2 points
          5 = 5 points
     b.  Wins earned;
          0 = 0 points
          1 = 1 point
          2 = 2 points
          3 = 3 points
          4 = 5 points
          5 = 10 points
     c.  Down Challenge: 
          (-5) points each (DM is exempt from DC rule/penalty)
     d.  Team with most wins per round earns 3 additional points
          (If ties, no points awarded; no tiebreaker on wins)

Alliance Points (Rounds 1-4)
     a.  Fights made (DA fights count as a fight made)
     b.  Alliance fights 15 warriors = 3 points
     c.  Alliance with most wins per round = 3
          (If ties, no points awarded; no tiebreaker on wins)

Alliance Points (Rounds 5-8)
     a.  Fights made (DA fights count as a fight made)
     b.  Alliance fights 15 warriors = 3 points
     c.  Alliance with most wins per round = 7 points
          (If ties, no points awarded; no tiebreaker on wins)

Alliance Points (Rounds 9-10)
     a.  Fights made (DA fights count as a fight made)
     b.  Alliance fights 15 warriors = 6 points
     c.  Alliance with most wins per that round = 10 points
          (If ties, no points awarded; no tiebreaker on wins)

Team points (from 3 teams) + alliance points = Total Alliance Points.
The Alliance with the most points after turn 10 is THE WINNER!
________________________________________________________________________

PRIZES:
The Turf War is meant to be a near "winner takes all" contest. Moderators will submit 
a list of each prize won (by manager) at the completion of the contest. RSI awarded 
prizes must then be claimed by the manager from RSI Customer Service within 4 months. 
The team rollups won will be distributed by RSI to the winners shortly after receipt 
of the prize list from the moderators.

Entry Fee Awards:
     *** Winning alliance gets 80% of the pooled team rollups.
     *** 2nd place alliance gets 10% of the pooled team rollups.
     *** Individual Team with most wins in 10 rounds gets 10% of the pooled team 
         rollups

RSI awards: Prizes may only be applied to DM47 warriors who participated in TW13. 
No prize may create an out-of-bounds warrior. Only one max prize may be applied per 
warrior, so if you win two prizes they cannot be applied to the same warrior. 
Prizes must be used within 4 months of the end of TW13. 

Winning alliance: each manager/team receives:
     One Limited Damage Bump (bump one level damage)
     One Stat replace (remove 2 SZ, replace 2 to any single other stat) 
     One Favorite weapon knowledge 

2nd place: each manager/team receives:
     One Favorite weapon knowledge 
     One free stat raise (not SZ)

Participation Award (to all teams/managers who fight 46 minimum fights (of 50):
     2 skills (both to same warrior) 
______________________________________________________________________

Moderators:
The Moderators for this event will be Oz, Master Darque, and Assur, the TW13 
Triumvirate.  They will arbitrate all dealings during the course of the contest.  
Their decisions will be final.  All questions, comments, and scoring disputes
may be directed to one of us below. 

                Oz                 Master Darque               Assur
diplo (DM 47):  Land of Oz         Darque Forces               Bash Bros Park   
Duel2 forum:    The Consortium     Master Darque               Assur    
email:          wfms101@aol.com    rebelnerfherder@yahoo.com   assurnasir@yahoo.com

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Things are not getting done around the Robo Village trailer park because I am here 
lording over you common folk as your Duelmaster.  Last turn Mr Root took a swing at 
me, but I plucked him out of the sand just like I pull up those damn creeping Charlie 
roots around the sidewalks.  I don't know who is responsible for Huckle's Cats, 
probably Huckle I suppose, but he may want to check the litterbox after that whooping.

I have a bet with I Don't Mow that I will get to 50% before he does, so if a few of 
you can help me, that would be great.  And, it really bugs me that he won't mow his 
crappy lawn.  Every time I ask him about it, he just shrugs his shoulders and says "I 
don't mow" and that irritates me.  I want this trailer park to be the best!

The Landlord issued some challenges this turn, but won't tell me who so I think he 
might be trying to kill me.  But, without a handyman this place would fall apart.

Hopefully I get to tell you a little more about my life next turn.

                                          -- The Handyman, your Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

It has been an exhausting week, my darlings!  One would think that working in a no 
tourney arena would preclude one from attending tournament meetings among the 
Gladiatorial Commission and regular spy reporters.  Newsflash!  It does not!  Phineas 
made us attend anyway. Sure, I like to watch the tournaments, but they don't really 
pertain to me or my job as the Seam spy reporter.  Oh well, I go where the boss tells 
me to go . . . within reason.  But I digress, so let's take a look at what happened in 
our fine NO TOURNEY arena this week!

The Handyman continues to impress with another title defense this turn.  The 
Challenger Champions class is not lacking for talent, so he had his work cut out for 
him if he wanted to stay atop the ranking. How did he do?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  
The Handyman challenged fellow arena veteran, Command X from the Pixelbenders guild.  
It took him 2-minutes, but The Handyman was successful once again in defending his 
seat!  Congrats to him, and congrats to his manager, The Landlord.

Apart from praising our Duelmaster, we need to recognize Alfredovision(TM) for an 
outstanding 3-turn record.  Alfredo and company have been ALMOST perfect with a 14-1 
record.  The next closest teams, Metal Blade and Pixelbenders have 10-5 records, so 
Alfredo's crew has been quite dominant.  Along with the current top team, 
Alfredovision(TM) also took home the Chartered Top Team award and the Top Team on the 
Move award.

The most avoided team today is Unlikely Heroes.  They were mostly avoided by Robo 
Village.  Our most challenged warrior was once again, Burn Out, from the Lost 
Sentinels team.  Sporting a 3-8 record in an arena such as Seam does not appear to be 
a great idea.  Does the armor come with a bull's eye on it, or do you need to add it 
yourself?  The Last Beer challenged down 8 points to fight Burn Out, and TLB was able 
to defeat him in a 1-minute fight. 

There were 5 deaths this turn, but most came via the Dark Arena. William Buckwell lost 
his last fight and leaves us at 1-5.  I always wonder if managers breathe a sigh of 
relief when underperforming warriors die on the sands.  Does it save them from making 
the hard decision of sending them to the Dark Arena?  Probably, but I do not see this 
group of managers as being too timid to send one to a night fight.  The other non-Dark 
Arena death came when Quiet Quitting of Pandemic Boredom died fighting Poor Judgment.  
That feels like it was organized by the Fates, but who is to say?

Wow!  This might be the largest graduation class that I have ever seen in New Seam.  
Four warriors have been granted title, land, and immortality by the Gladiatorial 
Commission.  It is always great to see such activity on the sands, and it is a 
blessing to see the gladiators' efforts rewarded with an invitation to the Isle of the 
Eye.  Good work, my darlings!  We will bid farewell to The Handyman, Cut & Paste, 
Sister Garlic, and Command X next turn.  They will get one final time to shine for the 
hometown crowd!  Good luck to each of you newly crowned Lord Protectors.  I will 
hopefully see the rest of you back next turn too!

                                          -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE HANDYMAN 942             21  23  1   145       ROBO VILLAGE (68)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LORELEI 1044                 25   8  0   121       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 OMEN 1102                    13   8  0   120       METAL BLADE (69)
 CUT & PASTE 1036             17  18  0   111       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 HELSTAR 976                  21  21  0   108       METAL BLADE (69)
 BENNAKYL 1109                15   9  1   106       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 THE SILENT OWL 42            17  10  1   103       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 ANVIL 1113                   10   9  0   102       METAL BLADE (69)
-CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 679          25  23  1    99       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 SISTER GARLIC 41             17  10  0    96       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 COMMAND X 1060               19  11  0    95       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 SUPER CHICKEN 39             18   9  1    95       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          27  12  0    93       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 MR. ROOT 994                 19  22  2    92       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE REDNECK 1129              8   6  0    90       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 OKSTUPID 950                 25  14  0    89       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 TALA ONE-HAND 1097           15   7  0    89       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148       11   3  0    85       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         14  13  0    82       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         17   8  0    81       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 I DON'T MOW 941              17  27  0    78       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 FREXX 1122                   10   8  2    76       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 TRAPS 983                    15  28  1    74       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154         8   5  0    66       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 PATRON SILVER 1197            6   1  0    64       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 CROAKER 1086                 11  12  0    62       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 DY-QUIL 1107                 14  10  1    60       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DOCTOR LION 1127              7  10  1    60       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887        15  14  0    59       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 PANDA 1132                    8   8  0    58       HERO'S INC (67)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOZO THE CLOWN 1131          13   3  0    56       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078            10  15  0    56       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 COCAINE SMILE 1180            7   2  0    54       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158          7   5  0    52       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         12  11  1    48       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 AHSHONDALAI 498              10   9  1    47       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077           9  16  0    47       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 HODAG 1188                    5   2  0    47       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 KHONDOHLAVISHAH 506          10   7  1    46       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 GUMBO 1075                    9  17  1    45       LOST SENTINELS (19)
-SUICIDE MISSION 1051          9   7  0    42       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552           7   2  0    41       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 NAKED AND AFRAID 1160         8   3  0    40       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 MAYOR FOX 1179                4   5  0    39       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 AMBERLITH 1229                4   2  0    39       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105              9   8  1    37       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DEORN 1152                    7   6  1    37       HERO'S INC (67)
 FRIENDZONE 1174               6   2  2    37       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 CHUGS 1219                    5   2  0    37       200 PROOF (87)
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216          6   1  0    35       200 PROOF (87)
 THE LAST BEER 1244            3   1  0    34       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DREDLOCK 1172                 3   2  0    33       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
-SHAKIN' FOR BACON 1050        7   9  1    31       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159           5   7  0    31       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 PAYTRIOT GAME 1162            5   5  1    30       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146         4   3  1    30       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224             4   2  0    30       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
-DESTINY 1231                  3   0  0    30       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             4   4  0    27       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 HOODED LEMMING 1249           3   1  0    27       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 HOEB 1184                     5   3  1    26       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       5   5  0    26       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 CRACKLE J. ARIUS 1193         5   2  0    26       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       4   5  0    26       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 SKUNK APE 1190                4   3  0    26       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 WASTED 1217                   3   4  0    26       200 PROOF (87)
 POOR JUDGEMENT 1213           4   3  1    25       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 MIDAS 1226                    3   3  0    25       HERO'S INC (67)
 HELLVETICA 1236               4   1  0    24       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 SLICK 1208                    3   3  0    24       AKAKIA (86)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MANOWAR 1259                  2   1  0    23       METAL BLADE (69)
 HARMACIST 1126                4   7  0    22       PHARMANOMICON (76)
-CANNON MOLE 1139              3   1  2    22       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133           6   1  1    21       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218            5   2  0    21       200 PROOF (87)
 VERUS CAIN 1255               2   1  0    20       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 POP C. ANTHONY 1194           3   4  0    19       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223             2   4  0    19       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137         4   3  0    18       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 MOTHER-IN-LAW 1239            3   2  0    18       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 BURN OUT 1157                 3   9  0    18       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 BOTTLE FLIP 1142              2   5  0    18       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 CALI GOLD RUSH 1264           2   0  0    18       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200        4   3  0    17       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 SCROLLING REDDIT 1136         4   3  0    17       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GI JANE 1171                  4   5  0    17       HERO'S INC (67)
 WELFARE MOM 1161              3   8  0    17       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX 1192         3   4  0    16       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 CHARTREUSE 1199               3   4  0    16       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
-DEFIANT 1182                  2   4  0    16       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238         3   2  0    15       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
-DRAGONWIND 1168               3   3  0    15       ENDLESS HUNGER (80)
 POSTMAN 1201                  2   5  0    15       HERO'S INC (67)
 MOTHMAN 1189                  3   4  1    14       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557           3   5  0    14       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135         2   5  0    14       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 PLANK 1145                    3   4  0    13       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 TIDE POD 1143                 3   4  0    13       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225          2   4  0    11       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 PUB CRAWLER 1220              2   5  0    11       200 PROOF (87)
 CAP'N C. MANSON 1195          2   5  0    11       CEREAL KILLERS (83)
 EPICUREAN 1246                2   2  0    10       METAL BLADE (69)
 ATARI 2600 1269               2   0  0    10       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 BIFF 1212                     2   4  0    10       AKAKIA (86)
 LIZ DANFORTH 1222             2   4  0    10       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 SHONDAILADONDAI 856           1   6  0     9       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 PARNO 1258                    1   2  0     9       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 STEVEN 1209                   1   5  0     8       AKAKIA (86)
 ALBERT 1210                   0   6  0     6       AKAKIA (86)
 PENNY OUTLET 1253             0   2  0     2       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 CODEX 1268                    0   2  0     2       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 BEER CHASER 1271              0   1  0     1       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
WILLIAM BUCKWELL 1211   1  5 0 AKAKIA 86            AMOXIKILLIN 1105      190   
GIRL SCOUT 1198         1  4 0 CALL YOUR SHOT 84    DO IT TOMORROW 1133   188  REVENGED
COWBOYS FAN 1261        1  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   HIGH ELF              190  NONE
DOOMBLADE 1169          4  1 0 ENDLESS HUNGER 80    FRIENDZONE 1174       187   
YUTO 1016              13 23 4 LOST SENTINELS 19    MR. ROOT 994          187   
DARK FUNERAL 1150       5  5 0 METAL BLADE 69       FREXX 1122            187   
DYNAMITE 1151           5  4 0 METAL BLADE 69       DOCTOR LION 1127      186  NOT REVENGED
GAMESTOP 1241           0  1 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  MOTHMAN 1189          186  JUST REVENGED
GREAT RESIGNATIO 1245   0  2 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  CANNON MOLE 1139      188   
QUIET QUITTING 1263     0  2 0 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  POOR JUDGEMENT 1213   190   
GULLY GAWK 1266         0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  SWINE GOLEM           190  NONE
SPOON LICKER 1267       0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  SWINE GOLEM           190  NONE
WENDIGO 1187            1  2 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146 186  NOT REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

3-2 turn. Not bad. I didn't see my post on the last news page but I did get credit for 
posting which is weird but appreciated. I know I can be long winded at times and 
perhaps my message was overlooked. Didn't try anything new as I left the team on 
maintenance. I will however, be making some challenges this turn and maybe I'll see a 
difference? To be honest, this squad isn't really all that great, but I have invested 
time into them so I'll stay the course and try to deal with the lack of diversity in 
the fighters' barracks. -- Eli 

alf -- Gimme a bottle. -- [insert your name here]

Alf -- While it's disappointing to hear that you won't make one teeny tiny exception 
to the beer rules for me-myself-I, I do respect your decision.  I'll just use this 
week's beer to drown my sorrows.  Is it too much to ask for something a little 
stronger than Moose Drool? -- Riff-Raff

Harmacist -- Simply yelling, "And stay down!" does not actually keep the initiative 
(or so it appears). -- Flaming Dr Pepper

Do It Tomorrow -- Avenge fallen girl scout.  Check! -- Patron Silver

Scrolling Reddit -- Yep, just as boring as it sounds. -- Chartreuse

Biff -- Sorry.  I thought you were the other Biff.  Didn't mean to hit you so hard. -- 
Cali Gold Rush

Patron Silver -- Congrats on helping to Take Back Our Arena! By winning the bloodfued 
against Do It Tomorrow, you have shown that TRUE CULTURAL WARRIORS will NOT be 
IGNORED!  You get a free MOSAGA hat ("Make Our Seam Arena Great Again") to wear into 
the arena!  Girl Scout will return to the arena and be declared Duelmaster on turn 
199! After we switch back to the Julian calendar, the fights will become more 
frequent, that's why alfredo (lowercase a = anonymous) has the contest start on turn 
199!  199 upside down is 661 = 6 + 6 + 1 = 13 = the number of people at the Last 
Supper!  Do your own research, sheeple! -- "QQ"

Manowar -- I kinda liked "Mandwar" better.  Like that song Brandy but with Mandy.  Not 
Mandy by Barry Manilow, I mean Brandy by Looking Glass.  You know, "Brandy, you're a 
fine girl".  Here you go, "Mandy, you're a fine fighter, what a good gladiator you 
would be!  But my arms, my armor, my arena is in Seam."  Man, that's gonna be stuck in 
my head all day. -- What's Streaming

Alf -- Ad. Here. See it! -- Master Darque

Liz Danforth -- Perhaps you should try out for the cheerleading squad? -- Cowboys Fan

Welfare Mom -- I think you should get a job. -- Mother-In-Law

Hodag -- Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! -- Teenage Daughter

Hoeb -- I need to work on my weapon selection. -- Poor Judgement

Eternal Blossom -- Next time we meet I hope I send you into eternal slumber -- 
Friendzone

Alf -- "I want my $2.00!" is an oft repeated line from the 80's movie
'Better Off Dead'. A newspaper boy confronts the main character (John
Cusack) multiple times demanding payment for the papers he's delivered
to his home. I wanted my 1 point just as he wanted his $2.00. --
Mannequin, mgr Constant Sorrow

     I'm very sad that you needed to explain that. -- gcgrunt

Albert -- If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. I am convinced my bi-weekly payoffs 
are the only thing keeping me alive. This place is dangerous! -- NAKED AND AFRAID

Handyman -- Apparently  Mr. Root did not get the memo. Grats on your 2-turn reign! -- 
alf

Producer -- Grats on your 5-0! -- alf

Coach -- This round is on me! Especially since the Boss always picks up my tab. -- alf

Landlord -- Hey thanks, man! I knew I had a fan...somewhere. Good job getting that p-
ad in as well. -- alf

Wow! Eli and Palinc missed writing their ad(s). Color me gobsmacked! Now Darque 
missing...not so surprising. -- alf

DD -- Keep it up, bro! Wait, did Quiet Quitting just congratulate Patron Silver for 
beating me? -- Do It Tomorrow

We'd like to thank Netflix for releasing the latest season of the Great British Baking 
Show!  Also, by releasing the episodes weekly, it gives us plenty of time to nap, do a 
load of laundry, shower, maybe shave, and come up with stupid weapon choices for What 
Month Is It. -- Pandemic Boredom

Mannequin -- Are you a mannequin of constant sorrow?  Keep challenging my Welfare Mom 
and you will be.  She is just trying to get by without working hard, give her a break!  
-- Landlord of Robo Village

Darque -- I didn't like that challenge or you treating my Redneck so unfairly.  
Rednecks are people too! -- Landlord

Dark Inebriator -- You can't just go around inebriating everybody!  How am I supposed 
to run a stable with you doing that?  I don't know if Mothman is even going to be back 
on his feet by next turn's fights. -- Ebenezer

Albert Arena 20:  Albert, which he has shortened from Alberto, is a Half 
Hispanic Half Elf who stands 5'9" tall. He, along with his frat brothers 
Stephen, Slick, and Biff, after listening to Coach's 8 track tapes, pay homage 
to the Beach Boys. They bought a wagon and a fast team of horses and love to 
race. Albert is not as good with women as the rest of the team but he has 
found his one. She has gotten him to fight smarter: Now he goes sword and 
board with a short sword and medium shield. His team Captain and the guy that 
keeps track of them is going so the whole team has his back. Depend, his 
girlfriend, is an Adantri werecat and loves to keep her ears and long tail 
visible.  All the guys love her and treat her as the team mascot.  Even Coach 
scratches behind her ears.

Slick, Arena 20: Slick stands 5'9" tall. Smarter than he looks, he maintains a 
3.5 gpa in order to keep his scholarship at the university. He's always 
wearing his trademark sheepskin leather jacket with sturdy black pants and 
shirt. He is the team's enforcer when they need one. He's not the biggest guy 
on the team but voted "Most likely to take a life" in high-school. He's seen 
his share of fights and nothing fazes him now. Coach has him fighting with a 
short sword and shield but Slick will use any weapon in a fight. He takes 
special care of Selene.Seam Psychos --- Pass Me Another Contest Bottle! --- 
Hammer, mgr of Ah Tongues Of Fire

Seam -- I must admit I am growing impatient waiting for the contest to start. It's not 
easy to get my crew to slow down and not go straight to the top, all they want to do 
is murder, murder, murder -- Biff "The Boss" Frothingslosh mgr of 200 Proof, winners 
of 199 Beers Contest, 2022 Edition

While we may have temporarily fallen, remember to take a healthy dose of BENNAKYL your 
Arena's favorite Slasher! -- Neuroticus -- Manager of Pharmanomicon

I'm glad they don't give these things out for originality. I'll take 1 participation 
award please. -- Mr. G

Since we had a few too many volunteers, the Frost Giant mission is now closed.  Those 
who were not taken will be first considered in the next mission.  And thank you!  -- 
Keel Woodhaven   

Beer, BEER, BEEER! -- Manny Ray

ALL -- Already missing my stable of female PS, despite having only 2 left. Having 5 PS 

at once was neat, better than a Royal (with cheese) Flush. I'll share my numbers on 
all 5 (at once) one of these days -- it was akin to Fox Force 5. Ketchup. 
Lorenzo "Mixelplick" F.S.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

COWBOYS FAN was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SPOON LICKER was dealt death by SWINE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
GULLY GAWK was luckily killed by  SWINE GOLEM in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
DO IT TOMORROW narrowly defeated MOTHMAN in a crowd pleasing 5 minute Bloodfeud duel.
THE HANDYMAN defeated COMMAND X in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge Title fight.
THE SILENT OWL bested THE REDNECK in a action packed 2 minute Challenge brawl.
ANVIL was defeated by LORELEI in a exciting 4 minute Challenge struggle.
OMEN devastated PASCAL LYNXEAR in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
HELSTAR won victory over SISTER GARLIC in a popular 3 minute expert's Challenge duel.
OKSTUPID was vanquished by CUT & PASTE in a popular 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
GOAT WITH NO NAME handily defeated TRAPS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
GENERAL LIABILITY demolished DOCTOR LION in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
MR. ROOT viciously subdued I DON'T MOW in a 7 minute veteran's Challenge battle.
BOZO THE CLOWN unbelievably bested KHONDOHLAVISHAH in a 6 minute Challenge conflict.
CHUGS was defeated by MR. READ-A-LOT in a action packed 3 minute Challenge struggle.
BULLY BOBCAT overcame GUMBO in a 2 minute bloody master's Challenge bout.
PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC was devastated by AHSHONDALAI in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
PAYTRIOT GAME was demolished by PANDA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
PATRON SILVER overpowered FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
WHAT MONTH IS IT was luckily beaten by VERUS CAIN in a 7 minute Challenge fight.
MAYOR FOX overpowered GI JANE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
FRIENDZONE overcame SKUNK APE in a 2 minute gory Challenge contest.
KYLIE JENNER LIP subdued POP C. ANTHONY in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
MOTHER-IN-LAW was overpowered by NAKED AND AFRAID in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
THE LAST BEER overpowered BURN OUT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SCROLLING REDDIT defeated LIZ DANFORTH in a 2 minute Challenge match.
CHARTREUSE was viciously subdued by BARBARA EDEN in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
ALBERT was handily defeated by MIDAS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
WASTED savagely defeated WELFARE MOM in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
TEEPEETOTALER luckily beat POSTMAN in a action packed 4 minute Challenge fight.
PUB CRAWLER was defeated by SNAP 'FOXY' KNOX in a 2 minute brutal Challenge match.
BOTTLE FLIP savagely defeated BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a exciting 4 minute Challenge fight.
PLANK was overpowered by SLICK in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
PENNY OUTLET slimly lost to BRITTNEY GRINER in a 3 minute gory Challenge duel.
QUIET QUITTING was butchered by POOR JUDGEMENT in a 1 minute Challenge battle.
BENNAKYL viciously subdued MECHADEPLORABLE in a popular 2 minute brutal expert's bout.
SUPER CHICKEN savagely defeated KUNG-FU MASTER in a exciting 4 minute conflict.
TALA ONE-HAND overpowered CROAKER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
FURIOUS INHALER was overpowered by HOP ONTHEBUS GUS in a 1 minute competition.
FREXX vanquished NOBLE ASSASSIN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match.
DY-QUIL vanquished HOEB in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
AMBERLITH was subdued by ETERNAL BLOSSOM in a action packed 1 minute conflict.
HODAG overcame DAKIA WILDROSE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
COCAINE SMILE overpowered MANOWAR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven competition.
AMOXIKILLIN executed WILLIAM BUCKWELL in a 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
DEORN vanquished STEVEN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
DARK INEBRIATOR overpowered CAP'N C. MANSON in a 1 minute brutal uneven competition.
CRACKLE J. ARIUS subdued BIFF in a 2 minute conflict.
FLAMING DR PEPPER was luckily beaten by HELLVETICA in a exciting 4 minute gory battle.
TUMBLE BELLY overpowered INCOMPETENT PUNK in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
HARMACIST handily defeated CODEX in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ROSE MOFFORD subdued EPICUREAN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute battle.
TIDE POD was savagely defeated by WHAT'S STREAMING in a monotonous 9 minute brawl.
REPLACEMENT THEORY devastated SHONDAILADONDAI in a 2 minute one-sided brawl.
HOODED LEMMING defeated TEENAGE DAUGHTER in a popular 4 minute amateur's duel.
PARNO was defeated by CALI GOLD RUSH in a 2 minute bloody amateur's brawl.
ATARI 2600 savagely defeated BEER CHASER in a 2 minute gruesome novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  21         TOTAL PARRY       96 -  70 -  1      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     19         PARRY-STRIKE      38 -  29 -  3      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                      14         LUNGING ATTACK    84 -  90 -  6      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         AIMED BLOW        52 -  60 -  1      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 11         WALL OF STEEL     49 -  57 -  4      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         STRIKING ATTACK   33 -  39 -  1      46  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         SLASHING ATTACK   53 -  66 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -  23 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         BASHING ATTACK    39 -  51 -  2      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     19 -  26 -  1      42  |

Turn 190 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      9 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     4 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         8 -  6     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 10     TOTAL PARRY        8 - 11         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         2  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  7         1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      LORELEI 1044               25   8  0  121 LOST SENTINELS (19)
AIMED BLOW       OMEN 1102                  13   8  0  120 METAL BLADE (69)
SLASHING ATTACK  BENNAKYL 1109              15   9  1  106 PHARMANOMICON (76)
WALL OF STEEL    THE SILENT OWL 42          17  10  1  103 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
LUNGING ATTACK   SISTER GARLIC 41           17  10  0   96 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
PARRY-STRIKE     COMMAND X 1060             19  11  0   95 PIXELBENDERS (36)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129            8   6  0   90 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
BASHING ATTACK   DY-QUIL 1107               14  10  1   60 PHARMANOMICON (76)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    NAKED AND AFRAID 1160       8   3  0   40 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CUT & PASTE 1036.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was MR. ROOT 994.  The ten other most popular fighters were SISTER GARLIC 41, 
MOTHMAN 1189, WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135, POSTMAN 1201, BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557, FLAMING DR 
PEPPER 1200, CHUGS 1219, HODAG 1188, EPICUREAN 1246, and ANVIL 1113.

The least popular fighter this week was TIDE POD 1143.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were VERUS CAIN 1255, CODEX 1268, HELLVETICA 1236, BIFF 1212, CAP'N C. 
MANSON 1195, WILLIAM BUCKWELL 1211, HOEB 1184, CROAKER 1086, MECHADEPLORABLE 1080, 
and QUIET QUITTING 1263.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

THE HANDYMAN (20-942) ROBO VILLAGE (68)
CUT & PASTE (20-1036) PIXELBENDERS (36)
SISTER GARLIC (20-41) UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
COMMAND X (20-1060) PIXELBENDERS (36)