DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/20/2022    Duedate: 01/02/2023

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-196

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

FREXX
THIRSTY THUGS (31)
(20-1122) [14-10-2,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FREXX                          THE ACES
THIRSTY THUGS (31)             NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
(20-1122) [14-10-2,116]        (20-1277) [2-3-0,36]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THE REDNECK                    ROSE MOFFORD
ROBO VILLAGE (68)              LOCAL GIRLS (88)
(20-1129) [11-9-1,114]         (20-1223) [2-10-0,18]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CALL YOUR SHOT (84)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CALL YOUR SHOT (84)         44
2. LOCAL GIRLS (88)            38      200 PROOF (87)
3. AKAKIA (86)                 29      Unchartered Team
4. THIRSTY THUGS (31)          28
5. HERO'S INC (67)             24      NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 200 PROOF (87)            39  25  0 60.9   1/ 4 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)      13  2 0
 2- 2 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    67  48  1 58.3   2/ 3 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       10  5 0
 3/ 3 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       94  69  3 57.7   3/ 1 CONSTANT SORROW (81)     10  5 0
 4/ 6 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       36  28  0 56.3   4/12 200 PROOF (87)            9  5 0
 5/ 4 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    200 161 10 55.4   5/ 8 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       9  6 0
 6/ 5 PIXELBENDERS (36)        460 406 14 53.1   6/15*NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  8  7 1
 7/ 7 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      500 464 29 51.9   7/ 7 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          8  7 1
 8/10 METAL BLADE (69)         123 115  2 51.7   8/ 5 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        8  7 0
 9/11 PHARMANOMICON (76)        75  71  5 51.4   9/10 METAL BLADE (69)          8  7 0
10/ 9 HERO'S INC (67)          143 137  6 51.1  10/ 6 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       8  7 0
11/12 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        124 123  3 50.2  11/18 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   7  8 2
12/14 CONSTANT SORROW (81)      35  35  5 50.0  12/ 2 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     7  8 1
13/13 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       458 467 14 49.5  13/11 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     7  8 0
14/ 8 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     31  34  3 47.7  14/ 9 PIXELBENDERS (36)         7  8 0
15/15 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       418 477 19 46.7  15/14 HERO'S INC (67)           6  9 2
16/16 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          26  30  1 46.4  16/19 PHARMANOMICON (76)        6  9 0
17/18 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   49  66  4 42.6  17/21 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         5  9 1
18/17 HOLD MY BEER (79)         26  37  1 41.3  18-20 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    4  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20*NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  10  15  1 40.0  19/16 HOLD MY BEER (79)         4 10 0
20/21 LOST SENTINELS (19)      372 570 39 39.5  20/13 STRANGER DANGERS (82)     4 10 0
21/19 STRANGER DANGERS (82)     22  38  2 36.7  21/22 AKAKIA (86)               3 10 0
22/22 AKAKIA (86)               14  44  0 24.1  22/17 LOST SENTINELS (19)       3 11 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

               99 BEERS III!!! (+100) CONTEST STANDINGS -- TURN 12/195

                    POS  BOTTLES   TEAM                 MANAGER
                     1     12    * 200 PROOF            Biff
                     2     12    * ALFREDOVISION(TM)    alfredo
                     3     12      UNLIKELY HEROES      DD
                     4     12    * WAY OF ALL FLESH     Manray
                     5     12      PIXELBENDERS         Lorenzo
                     6     12    * CALL YOUR SHOT       Riff Raff
                     7     12      DARQUE KNIGHTS       Darque
                     8     12    * PANDEMIC BOREDOM     Pappy
                     9     12      HERO'S INC           Eli
                    10     12      METAL BLADE          Producer
                    11     12      PHARMANOMICON        Neuroticus
                    12     12    * ROBO VILLAGE         Landlord
                    13     12    * CONSTANT SORROW      Mannequin
                    14     12    * HOLD MY BEER         Mr G
                    15     12    * AH TONGUES OF FIRE   Hammer
                    16     12    * STRANGER DANGERS     Eb
                    17     11      LOCAL GIRLS          Professor
                    18     11    * AKAKIA               Coach
                    19      4      NO TOURNAMENT BLUES  Blue

* Teams with an asterisk in front of their name are participating in the Contest 
within a Contest.

Note: NO TOURNAMENT BLUES has been added to the contest standings.

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

                   99 BEERS III!!! (+100) ARENA PERFORMANCE SCORING

The Arena Performance Phase of the contest starts on turn 199, due on 1/30/23!  
Bottles will be earned/awarded as follows:

-- 5 Bottles for each invite to ADM, AWARDED UPON THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF INVITE IN THE 
   NEWSLETTER with the opportunity to earn 1 extra bottle ON THE FOLLOWING TURN for 
   achieving a kill in the Dark Arena on their last arena fight. Note that this Bottle 
   is a "bonus;" you will also earn a Bottle for the win as well.
   ** Clarification: you will not earn bottles for a warrior that is invited to ADM on 
   turn 198. However, you can earn the extra bottle for a Dark Arena kill on turn 199 
   (your last regular arena fight) upon leaving if you do so.

-- 3 Bottles for each turn as Duelmaster, with the opportunity to earn 1 extra bottle 
   for writing a Duelmaster's column COLLECTED ON THE FOLLOWING TURN when the column 
   is actually published. A 99 word minimum will be strictly enforced. Note that the 
   warrior who holds the DM throne on turn 198 can earn a bottle on turn 199 if they 
   write a qualifying DM column

-- 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 Bottles for Team on the Move and Current Top Team. In the case of 
   ties, partial bottles will be awarded and will count towards your total.

-- 2 Bottles for Chartered Recognition Leader

-- 2 Bottles for This Week's Favorite

-- 2 Bottles for TOP CAREER HONORS Chartered Team

-- 0 Bottles for each turn as Overall Popularity Leader. Additionally, you will pay a 
   1 BOTTLE PENALTY on the following turn if you fail to post a personal ad 
   apologizing for your ostentatious behavior! OR...you can choose to brag further 
   about how astonishingly wonderful you actually are, and are more than worthy of all 
   the accolades you get from your adoring fans.

-- 1 Bottle for a successful Bloodfeud: limit two bottles per incident.

-- 2 Bottles for each Stylemaster as listed in the newsletter. In other words, the 
   rules for being awarded bottles for Stylemaster are the same as they are in the 
   arena: winning record, adept or above.

-- 1 bottle for each win, or two bottles for each kill in the regular arena. Warriors 
   that manage to return from the Dark Arena earn one bottle for the win only.

-- If more than one team achieves or surpasses 199 Bottles on the same turn, the team 
   with the higher total will be the victor. Partial Bottles having been awarded make 
   the event of a tie at the end much less likely; any fraction of a bottle lead that 
   you may have *will* count. In the unlikely event that there is an exact tie for any 
   place that receives a prize, those teams involved will continue playing until a 
   winner can be decided.

-- NO AVOIDS: This will be STRICTLY ENFORCED starting on Turn 199. Any team caught 
   avoiding will be REMOVED from the contest and their entry fee (if any) WILL NOT be 
   refunded! And trust me, with the number of nosy spy reporters out there, YOU WILL 
   get caught.

-- Seam is a "non-tourney" arena, and as such you are required to field a full team of 
   5 warriors every turn! Any warrior that has 1 FE or more missing the turn will 
   incur a 3-Bottle penalty for their team. If you have a warrior "accidentally' sit 
   out the turn, you will "accidentally" incur a 3-bottle penalty ;.

-- Rookie warriors may miss their first turn without penalty; any subsequent turns 
   missed thereafter will incur a 1-Bottle penalty.

-- There will be no penalty if your entire team misses a turn.

-- No tournament experience or "enhanced" warriors are allowed 

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

"Oh for Pete's sake would you put some clothes on?"

The novelty of NAKED AND AFRAID prancing about without a stitch of clothing adorned 
wore off a long time ago...at the very least for alfredo and the rest of the team. 
Well...that is...with the notable exception of BOZO THE CLOWN. BOZO was well-known for 
being a bit of a perv, and while most of his fellow warriors were busy sweating, 
sparring, and training for their next bout, BOZO could usually be found hanging around 
outside the local girl's club, or alone in his room...doors locked...doing god knows 
what. In the beginning BOZO got away with his poor training habits because he was 
winning. But recently he has not been faring nearly as well. It appears that his 
laziness is finally starting to catch up with him.

"Oh give the girl a break, Boss; she's certainly not hard to look at."

alfredo whirled around and focused his disapproving glare upon BOZO's big, red nose.

"Truth is it's been hard for ME lately to watch either of you in the arena! Oh you 
both started off well...but after all, it hardly even matters. What you do starting 
with turn 197 is what really counts! If you two think you are going to be able to 
breeze by on your good looks once the Arena Performance stage starts, you are sadly 
mistaken. And don't either of you think that you are immune from being sent to fight 
by torchlight!"

Then NAKED AND AFRAID came up from behind alfredo and wrapped her hands around his 
waist and hugged him from behind...firmly pressing her bare bosom up against his back. 
She then learned in to speak softly into his ear, "Don't you love me anymore, alfie?"

alfredo was not totally unaffected by her display: no red-blooded heterosexual male 
would be, But business is business, after all, and ALFREDOVISION(TM) was slumping at a 
very bad time.

alfredo unceremoniously wiggled his way out of the embrace and turned his attention to 
the both of them.

"I will NOT stand idly by while the team goes 5-10, which is largely due to the two of 
you goofing off instead of working on your technique. Bottom line: you have not been 
doing your job! I suggest that you both enjoy the rest of your day, because starting 
tomorrow, the two of you will be on a very strict training regiment. I have sent for 
the Lady CONSTANCE to come to SEAM to be your personal trainer, and trust me, she will 
be even harder to please than I! You'll do press-ups, and chin-ups: the snatch, clean, 
and jerk! You'll wake up at 6:00 a.m. every morning and train sun-up to sundown."

alfredo seemed to be getting angrier and angrier with every word he said. He broke out 
into a sweat, and his face was turning red.

"As a matter of fact," alfredo continued, "ALFREDOVISION(TM) will be taking turn 196 
off. I'm going to take the team out for a celebratory dinner on fight day...that 
is...I will be taking out the three warriors on the team that deserve it! 
Unfortunately for the two of you, CONSTANCE will have you far too busy to participate 
in the festivities."

alfredo grinned proudly as he left the room...confident that his point was understood 
well enough. The team's two slackers were left terrified and trembling over the 
prospect of what was to take place over the next several weeks. One thing was certain: 
the two of them were going to be living a rather tortured existence!

                                      SPY REPORT

Hello, darlings!  Welcome to Seam and turn 196 of our lovely games!  I am Sidara 
Brightbell, and I will be your guide for this turn's action and adventure.  We are 
fast approaching the start date for the contest, and our arena continues to be 
bustling with hordes of fans eager to see the action.  Let's get into today's action 
and see what has happened among our gladiatorial stables!

Stop me if you have heard this story before today - Duelmaster graduates, the new 
duelmaster is crowned via recognition points, but the new duelmaster also happens to 
kill his opponent.  The dead warrior's teammates avenge the death and then we have a 
new Duelmaster on the following turn.  Now.  Yes, now.  All of that story brings us to 
NOW!  Pascal Lynxear was our Duelmaster, but a random match-up with Frexx has ended 
his reign.  Pascal does not look too concerned . . . no, wait!  I can't tell, he is 
asleep.  That was Frexx's primary complaint about the fight as well, Pascal just stood 
there and Frexx could not decide if his opponent was even alive under all that armor. 
Congrats to Frexx, who is managed by DMobster.

The most avoided team today is No Tournament Blues.  While this is a "no tournament" 
arena, I can certainly sympathize with those waiting for a tournament.  Luckily, there 
is one coming next month, so you do not have to wait long!  Anyway, back to our arena.  
They were mostly avoided by Metal Blade.  The most challenged warrior today 
Shondailadondai (and I'm only writing that once).  They were challenged the most in 
all of Seam today.  I'm not sure people were out to get "Shonda."  They probably just 
wanted to know how to say that name!  And another ANYWAY to get me back on task, 
Shonda was victorious over challenger Kylie Jenner Lip (I'm only writing that once 
too).

There were 6 deaths today, and most of them did NOT come via the Dark Arena, only half 
of them.  Penny Outlet took the last ride out after fighting Brittney Griner.  Evolett 
did not even get a chance to shine for the Lost Sentinels stable after getting cut 
down in the first fight by Pops Staples.  Finally, we witnessed Atomic Crayon lose his 
first match in epic fashion as he died in his first loss.  Note to self, no one should 
experience FOMO dying in their first loss.  As mentioned, the other 3 deaths were in 
the Dark Arena with 12 fight Amberlith being the most experienced warrior to die 
today.

In other arena news, Poor Judgment's bloodfeud challenge against What's Steaming? was 
our only bloodfeud.  Poor Judgment won the match. I can also see that Mr. Root has 
received his invitation to the Isle! Congrats, sir!  Or, should I say Lord Protector?  
Mr. Root is a stalwart arena veteran at 22-25-2, so it is good to see him finally get 
rewarded for his persistence in the arena!  Congrats to Huckle Cat and his crew on 
another graduation!

Okay, I need to stop rambling, my dears.  It is time for me to once again be off and 
back into the upper echelons of Seam society.  These gatherings among the nobles are 
boring, to put it kindly. I'd rather be in the arena watching our boys and girls 
fight, but such is the burden of nobility.  People tend to avoid me at all of these 
affairs though which is the burden (but 100% a benefit) of being a witch. I'll see you 
next time! 

                                          -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREXX 1122                   14  10  2   116       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SILENT OWL 42            22  11  1   115       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 THE REDNECK 1129             11   9  1   114       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 MAYOR FOX 1179                9   6  0   112       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 MR. ROOT 994                 22  25  2   109       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 CROAKER 1086                 16  13  0   108       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          31  14  0   107       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 COCAINE SMILE 1180           12   3  0   105       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 CHUGS 1219                   10   3  0   105       200 PROOF (87)
 OKSTUPID 950                 28  17  0   101       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078            15  16  0   101       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
-GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148       15   4  0   100       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 HELSTAR 976                  25  23  0    99       METAL BLADE (69)
 I DON'T MOW 941              21  29  0    94       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 ANVIL 1113                   12  13  0    91       METAL BLADE (69)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154        11   7  0    90       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158         10   8  0    84       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 GI JANE 1171                  9   6  0    83       HERO'S INC (67)
 TRAPS 983                    15  34  1    82       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 DOCTOR LION 1127              9  14  1    79       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         15  18  0    76       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224             9   3  0    75       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 BENNAKYL 1109                16  14  1    73       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DEORN 1152                   11   8  2    73       HERO'S INC (67)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKUNK APE 1190                8   5  0    72       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         20  11  0    71       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 LIZ DANFORTH 1222             7   5  0    69       LOCAL GIRLS (88)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AHSHONDALAI 498              14  11  1    66       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 CALI GOLD RUSH 1264           7   1  0    66       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         15  14  1    65       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 POOR JUDGEMENT 1213           9   4  1    64       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216         11   2  0    63       200 PROOF (87)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077          11  20  0    63       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 PATRON SILVER 1197            8   5  0    62       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 DY-QUIL 1107                 15  15  1    61       PHARMANOMICON (76)
-THE LAST BEER 1244            6   3  0    60       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105             13  10  1    58       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 HOEB 1184                     9   5  1    57       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200        8   5  0    56       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 GUMBO 1075                   11  21  1    55       LOST SENTINELS (19)
-BOZO THE CLOWN 1131          15   6  0    51       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 HARMACIST 1126                8   9  0    49       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238         7   4  0    49       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 MANOWAR 1259                  5   4  0    48       METAL BLADE (69)
 WASTED 1217                   8   5  0    46       200 PROOF (87)
 HOODED LEMMING 1249           6   4  0    46       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 MOTHER-IN-LAW 1239            6   5  0    46       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 FRIENDZONE 1174               9   5  3    45       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159           8  10  0    44       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
-NAKED AND AFRAID 1160        10   6  0    36       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       8   8  0    36       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 THE ACES 1277                 2   3  0    36       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137         8   5  1    35       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 CHARTREUSE 1199               7   6  0    35       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 ATARI 2600 1269               6   2  0    35       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             8   6  0    34       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 TIDE POD 1143                 7   6  0    34       HOLD MY BEER (79)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552           9   6  0    33       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 SLICK 1208                    6   6  0    33       AKAKIA (86)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225          5   7  1    33       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557           5   9  1    33       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 EPICUREAN 1246                5   5  0    33       METAL BLADE (69)
 ALBERT 1210                   2  10  0    33       AKAKIA (86)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133           9   4  1    32       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135         5   8  0    31       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 STIMULUS CHECK 1272           3   3  1    30       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218            7   6  0    27       200 PROOF (87)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       6   9  0    27       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 POSTMAN 1201                  4   9  1    27       HERO'S INC (67)
 SHONDAILADONDAI 856           3  10  0    27       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 SAM LAY 1279                  3   2  0    27       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 AETERNAM 1299                 2   0  0    27       METAL BLADE (69)
 KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146         6   7  1    26       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 HELLVETICA 1236               7   4  0    25       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 SCROLLING REDDIT 1136         6   7  0    25       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 PLANK 1145                    6   7  0    25       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 PINK FOAM 1295                2   1  0    25       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 VERUS CAIN 1255               7   2  0    24       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CODEX 1268                    1   7  0    23       LOST SENTINELS (19)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOTHMAN 1189                  4   9  1    22       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 POPS STAPLES 1280             2   3  1    19       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 SNAFU 1286                    4   1  0    18       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 BIFF 1212                     3   9  0    18       AKAKIA (86)
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223             2  10  0    18       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 SUZIE CANA 1262               3   2  0    17       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 GUT SHOT 1282                 4   1  0    14       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 STEVEN 1209                   1  11  0    14       AKAKIA (86)
 PARNO 1258                    2   7  0    13       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 ARNOLD 1307                   1   0  0    13       HERO'S INC (67)
 BOOJUM 1284                   3   1  0    12       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 SPACE TOAST 1285              2   3  0    11       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 TRAILER TRASH 1310            1   0  0    11       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 PITFALL 1312                  1   0  0    11       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 JOHNNY COPELAND 1281          2   3  0     9       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 BRONDOSHONDIEHI 1289          1   3  1     7       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 VORA LIONEYE 1300             1   1  0     7       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 GEORGIA TOM DORSEY 1278       1   4  0     7       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 CANDYMAN 1283                 0   4  0     4       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 THE SCRAPPER 1293             0   3  0     3       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 CINDERELLA 1306               0   1  0     1       HERO'S INC (67)
 WILLIAM DUCKWELL III 1304     0   1  0     1       AKAKIA (86)
 MILK CRATE 1298               0   1  0     1       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 GLOOM 1309                    0   1  0     1       LOST SENTINELS (19)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
WILLIAM BUCKWELL 1273   1  2 0 AKAKIA 86            STIMULUS CHECK 1272   193   
LUMP OF COAL 1308       0  1 0 CONSTANT SORROW 81   SPYMASTER             196  NONE
TRAFFIC JAMS 1274       3  2 1 CONSTANT SORROW 81   WHAT'S STREAMING 1137 195  JUST REVENGED
TALA ONE-HAND 1097     16 10 0 DARQUE KNIGHTS 22    THE REDNECK 1129      194  REVENGED
PENNY OUTLET 1253       4  4 0 HOLD MY BEER 79      BRITTNEY GRINER 1225  196   
EVOLETT 1305            0  1 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    POPS STAPLES 1280     196   
FALLOUT 1290            1  1 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    BRONDOSHONDIEHI 1289  194   
AMBERLITH 1229          5  7 0 PIXELBENDERS 36      WURM KIN              196  NONE
HODAG 1188              5  4 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  PANDA 1132            192  NONE
NO NO NO 1303           0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  HIGH ELF              196  NONE
ATOMIC CRAYON 1294      2  1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 4    BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557   196   
PAYTRIOT GAME 1162      6  7 2 WAY OF ALL FLESH 17  FRIENDZONE 1174       193   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

No Tournament Blues -- Congrats on the 5-0 turn!  It's a fine line between blues and 
boredom so I feel like we're kinda kindred spirits - don't give in and slip into 
constant sorrow! -- Pandemic Boredom

Eli, I'd like to apologize for my outburst last turn.  Was it because I got my flu 
shot and Covid booster on the same day?  No more episodes of Andor?  My warriors 
repeatedly watching all five "Home Alone" movies?  Regardless of the reason, I'm sorry 
and it hopefully won't happen again. -- Pappy

Mother-In-Law -- I guess by rule #852 you get 2 beer bottles.  Not sure I like that 
rule... -- Do It Tomorrow

Constant Sorrow -- Sorry about Traffic Jams.  Though really, who likes traffic jams?  
I'm more of an alternative mode of transportation kinda guy, you know, a livable city 
with stuff within walking distance, maybe a light rail system, biking infrastructure, 
etc.  Just thinking about that lowers the ol' kill desire. -- What's Streaming

Brittney Griner -- Welcome back!  Not sure you're worth a Russian arms dealer but 
still, it's good to have you back.  Your first game is in May, better get practicing! 
-- Pandemic Boredom

Sidara -- Also, are you aware that 63% of all statistics are actually just made up? -- 
alfredo

Blue -- It looks like you're here for good, or at least for now, so I figured I might 
as well put your team in the contest standings. It will be a tough road for you having 
started so late, but hey...why not, right? After all, it's free. And also big 
congratulations to you for your 5-0 last turn. Way to turn it around, my friend! -- 
alfredo

Blue -- I also wanted to let you know that if you remain active every turn from now 
until the contest ends, I am pretty much certain I can convince the GC to give you one 
Pick of the Litter participation prize for your efforts. -- alfredo

Eli -- Uh...yeah...okay man. -- alf

Riff Raff -- I can assure you, the quality of Olde Frothingslosh brew will stay 
consistent: It will remain the same "stale pale ale with the foam at the bottom" that 
you have grown to know and love! -- alf

Landlord -- BWAHAHAHA!! Frankly bro, the headache that the personal ad requirement was 
causing me just did not seem to be worth the effort. It certainly does not appear that 
anyone minded my dropping it. -- alf

Redneck -- You are my hero! Good job keeping the ole lady in line. And I'm pretty sure 
that no one really liked Tala all that much anyway. -- BOZO

What's Streaming -- It's no wonder why you'd find me so boring... -- Traffic Jams

Do It Tomorrow -- What were you thinking? You should have been happy you won the first 
time. Kind of silly to think you'd win again. -- Mother-In-Law

Plank -- You must be made of oak. -- Teenage Daughter

Flaming Dr Pepper -- I think you got burned. -- Poor Judgement

Pink Foam -- That was a brave challenge. -- Friendzone

Alf -- Thanks for the explanation on the CotS roll-up prize. -- Mannequin, mgr of 
Constant Sorrow

3-2 turn with an even split in the Dark Arena. Deorn and Postman bought themselves a 
second chance with their wins. GI Jane won an easy fight with a much younger warrior 
and didn't learn anything for the win.  Two new guys are lame so I'll see how bad 
their roll ups are and if they don't win then I'll DA them.  Pandemic Boredom, see 
last turn's post on how I feel about the rule change. I have never missed a turn as 
far as I can remember where I didn't post a spotlight or something in this arena. See 
I am from the old school and even though I stopped playing for several years, I LIKE 
to interact with my fellow managers and I will always try to say something in the 
arena.  I don't believe in feuds so I never go out of my way to start anything. That 
being said, if I am constantly being targeted by a particular manager then I will take 
steps to either avoid them or try and get favorable matchups vs their guys. I have 
been rather depressed in my real life what with money not going as far as it used to 
and my job sucking major league. I will endeavor to be more positive and should things 
turn out that I can't afford to play, well it was fun while it lasted. -- Eli 

Alf -- Thanks for asking.  And I will be ok...at some point. Haven't had my neck 
x-ray'd but I think its healed.  Still having issues walking but I'll get there.  By 
the way, long-term care facility is the politically correct way to say Old Age Home.  
Also for the record I picked a fight with a dozen bikers, never mind that it was in my 
house at two am. 

Riff-Raff -- What in your opinion is a good beer?  The guys from Monty Python classify 
American Beer as "Making love in a canoe. FxxxING close to water." -- Amer

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

AMBERLITH was butchered by WURM KIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
NO NO NO was murdered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
LUMP OF COAL was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
POOR JUDGEMENT overpowered WHAT'S STREAMING in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
CHUGS devastated GENERAL LIABILITY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
THE REDNECK overpowered ANVIL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
LIZ DANFORTH was unbelievably bested by I DON'T MOW in a 9 minute Challenge fight.
DEORN was handily defeated by BULLY BOBCAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
GI JANE vanquished MECHADEPLORABLE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BARBARA EDEN viciously subdued MR. READ-A-LOT in a popular 2 minute Challenge fight.
MANOWAR slimly won victory over ATARI 2600 in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
WASTED defeated THE ACES in a 2 minute veteran vs. amateur Challenge match.
DARK INEBRIATOR handily defeated FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
FRIENDZONE was demolished by CALI GOLD RUSH in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC was handily defeated by HOODED LEMMING in a 1 minute fight.
TIDE POD luckily beat POSTMAN in a action packed 4 minute Challenge struggle.
PLANK was handily defeated by DAKIA WILDROSE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
ATOMIC CRAYON was butchered by BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
STIMULUS CHECK was luckily beaten by TEENAGE DAUGHTER in a 2 minute Challenge match.
MOTHER-IN-LAW overpowered DO IT TOMORROW in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge match.
KYLIE JENNER LIP was bested by SHONDAILADONDAI in a 4 minute Challenge contest.
EPICUREAN vanquished BOOJUM in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PENNY OUTLET was slaughtered by BRITTNEY GRINER in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
THE SCRAPPER was overpowered by SUZIE CANA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
SPACE TOAST defeated CANDYMAN in a 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
SAM LAY defeated MOTHMAN in a 1 minute novice vs. veteran upset Challenge duel.
AETERNAM vanquished GEORGIA TOM DORSEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
PASCAL LYNXEAR was viciously subdued by FREXX in a 2 minute expert's Title bout.
THE SILENT OWL viciously subdued TRAPS in a popular 3 minute gruesome veteran's bout.
CROAKER handily defeated DOCTOR LION in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
COCAINE SMILE overpowered SKUNK APE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MAYOR FOX beat OKSTUPID in a action packed 1 minute bout.
HELSTAR subdued ETERNAL BLOSSOM in a popular 5 minute uneven contest.
MR. ROOT devastated FURIOUS INHALER in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
PATRON SILVER devastated WHAT MONTH IS IT in a 1 minute uneven bout.
AHSHONDALAI overpowered REPLACEMENT THEORY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BENNAKYL handily defeated GUMBO in a 1 minute uneven match.
DY-QUIL was savagely defeated by HOEB in a action packed 1 minute gory bout.
AMOXIKILLIN handily defeated HELLVETICA in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
TUMBLE BELLY was overpowered by FLAMING DR PEPPER in a 1 minute uneven battle.
HARMACIST vanquished TEEPEETOTALER in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
SCROLLING REDDIT was handily defeated by ALBERT in a 2 minute mismatched duel.
CHARTREUSE luckily beat ROSE MOFFORD in a exciting 10 minute bloody brawl.
SLICK handily defeated PARNO in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
VERUS CAIN beat STEVEN in a 4 minute fight.
BIFF was demolished by CODEX in a 2 minute gory uneven fight.
JOHNNY COPELAND was beaten by SNAFU in a 2 minute novice's fray.
GUT SHOT overcame CINDERELLA in a 3 minute novice's duel.
POPS STAPLES narrowly killed EVOLETT in a exciting 3 minute brutal novice's conflict.
BRONDOSHONDIEHI was luckily beaten by PITFALL in a 3 minute amateur's bout.
PINK FOAM handily defeated GLOOM in a 1 minute mismatched match.
VORA LIONEYE subdued WILLIAM DUCKWELL III in a 2 minute amateur's battle.
ARNOLD overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MILK CRATE was demolished by TRAILER TRASH in a 1 minute mismatched contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         AIMED BLOW        75 -  61 -  2      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   14         TOTAL PARRY       94 -  85 -  1      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     14         WALL OF STEEL     60 -  57 -  4      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         PARRY-LUNGE       23 -  22 -  0      51  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 10         LUNGING ATTACK   113 - 114 -  6      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  10         BASHING ATTACK    45 -  51 -  3      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         PARRY-STRIKE      26 -  34 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   44 -  58 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         STRIKING ATTACK   34 -  45 -  4      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  25 -  0      42  |

Turn 196 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW        12 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        6 -  8         3  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 11     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  6         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         2  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  5     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  4         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  7     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   FREXX 1122                 14  10  2  116 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
WALL OF STEEL    THE SILENT OWL 42          22  11  1  115 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129           11   9  1  114 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAYOR FOX 1179              9   6  0  112 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
TOTAL PARRY      PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019        31  14  0  107 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
BASHING ATTACK   COCAINE SMILE 1180         12   3  0  105 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
AIMED BLOW       GI JANE 1171                9   6  0   83 HERO'S INC (67)
PARRY-LUNGE      SKUNK APE 1190              8   5  0   72 STRANGER DANGERS (82)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    LIZ DANFORTH 1222           7   5  0   69 LOCAL GIRLS (88)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE REDNECK 1129.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was ROSE MOFFORD 1223.  The ten other most popular fighters were ETERNAL BLOSSOM 
1158, POSTMAN 1201, FREXX 1122, BRONDOSHONDIEHI 1289, BARBARA EDEN 1224, KYLIE JENNER 
LIP 1146, THE SILENT OWL 42, POPS STAPLES 1280, MANOWAR 1259, and CALI GOLD RUSH 
1264.

The least popular fighter this week was I DON'T MOW 941.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MILK CRATE 1298, GLOOM 1309, JOHNNY COPELAND 1281, VERUS CAIN 1255, 
CHARTREUSE 1199, SCROLLING REDDIT 1136, TEEPEETOTALER 1218, GUMBO 1075, REPLACEMENT 
THEORY 1164, and WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MR. ROOT (20-994) HUCKLE'S CATS (23)