DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/31/2023    Duedate: 02/13/2023

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-199

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THE REDNECK
ROBO VILLAGE (68)
(20-1129) [14-9-1,147]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE REDNECK                    THE ACES
ROBO VILLAGE (68)              NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
(20-1129) [14-9-1,147]         (20-1277) [5-3-1,66]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THE REDNECK                    DOCTOR LION
ROBO VILLAGE (68)              HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
(20-1129) [14-9-1,147]         (20-1127) [11-15-1,87]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CONSTANT SORROW (81)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)      71
2. ROBO VILLAGE (68)           38      200 PROOF (87)
3. CONSTANT SORROW (81)        36      Unchartered Team
4. WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)       35
5. NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)    32      NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 200 PROOF (87)            48  31  0 60.8   1/ 1 CONSTANT SORROW (81)     11  4 1
 2/ 3 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    76  54  2 58.5   2/12 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     9  6 1
 3/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)      101  76  3 57.1   3/ 7 PHARMANOMICON (76)        9  6 1
 4/ 4 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    209 167 11 55.6   4/19 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    9  6 1
 5/ 5 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       43  36  1 54.4   5/ 6 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         9  6 0
 6/ 7 CONSTANT SORROW (81)      46  39  6 54.1   6/ 3 200 PROOF (87)            9  6 0
 7/ 6 PIXELBENDERS (36)        467 413 14 53.1   7/ 5 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          9  6 0
 8/ 8 PHARMANOMICON (76)        84  77  6 52.2   8/11*NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  8  7 3
 9/ 0 WEIRDING WAYS (53)       197 181 18 52.1   9/15 PIXELBENDERS (36)         7  7 0
10/ 9 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      507 472 29 51.8  10/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)       7  7 0
11/11 HERO'S INC (67)          150 145  6 50.8  11/ 4 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       7  8 1
12/12 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        133 129  3 50.8  12/14 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       7  8 0
13/10 METAL BLADE (69)         128 125  2 50.6  13/16 HERO'S INC (67)           7  8 0
14/13 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       463 476 14 49.3  14/13 AKAKIA (86)               7  8 0
15/14 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          35  36  1 49.3  15/22 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     6  9 1
16/15 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       424 486 19 46.6  16/ 8 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        6  9 0
17/16 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     37  43  4 46.3  17/18 STRANGER DANGERS (82)     6  9 0
18/17*NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  18  22  4 45.0  18/20 HOLD MY BEER (79)         5  8 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 HOLD MY BEER (79)         31  45  1 40.8  19/21 LOST SENTINELS (19)       5  9 2
20/19 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   53  77  4 40.8  20/ 9 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        5  9 0
21/20 LOST SENTINELS (19)      377 579 41 39.4  21/10 METAL BLADE (69)          5 10 0
22/21 STRANGER DANGERS (82)     28  47  2 37.3  22/17 AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)   4 11 0
23/22 AKAKIA (86)               21  52  0 28.8  23/ 0 WEIRDING WAYS (53)        2  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hellya!  It's me agun, The Redneck ur Duelmaster.  Told y'all that I would be back and 
dammit I'm here where I belong.  With the extra bucks I'm gettin for this I can get me 
some more wife-beater shirts.  They're good shirts, but not good for holding a pack of 
smokes in the sleeves, but one thing fer sure is that they show off my biceps.  Turns 
out my biceps are bigger thun Hulk Hogan's.  That guy is like my idol, he duz it 
right. 

I beat up ole Mayor Fox last week.  Not mucha fight, I gave him my ole switch-er-roo 
swing where it looks like it is a right but then my left comes in for the sluggo.  He 
fell for it twice.  The Landlord says I have to fight him agun, to prove myself.  Come 
on man, I'm proof already of goodness. But, if I beat him agun, the Landlord will 
cancel my rent this month and I already pert-near have the rent money in my pocket so 
I can spend that on stuff.  If I gotta win next week we get some beers for the team, 
that is good enuf for me.

                                          -- The Redneck THE Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

And we're off!  The 99 Bottles (+100) Contest has officially kicked off this turn, and 
what a glorious turn it was in Seam!  We had over 23 active teams and 61 fights, which 
makes for an exciting "official" start to the contest.  The arena was alive on the 
sands, in the stands, and outside the walls with fighters, fans, and vendors.  I do 
love to see the arena so active!  Let's take a look at what happened on the sands.  
I'll leave the other areas of the arena to any journalists who want to pursue those 
stories!

The Redneck is here, but he'll soon be gone.  First, let's start with today's fight 
and then we'll talk about the future.  Our Duelmaster was active with a challenge to 
Croaker of Thirsty Thugs.  I can't lie and say it was much of a fight because The 
Redneck made short work of his opponent.  So, he is our Duelmaster once again!  
Congrats to him and his manager, The Landlord.  It will be a short stay on the throne 
as The Redneck also received his graduation notice.  Congrats once again!  As it is, 
we will have to crown a new champion next time, but will it be by fight or 
recognition?  You'll have to come and see!

There were 11 deaths today, which is the largest total we have had in a while.  
Certainly, there are many grieving families today.  What a shame!  Six of the deaths 
came via the Dark Arena, so there wasn't much surprise at their demise.  The other 
five may have some as a bit of shock to unwary managers and fellow gladiators.  The 
Rookie deaths are expected at times as the younger warriors have not yet learned the 
art of "holding back" a bit to fight another day.  Today, Seam lost 3 warriors in the 
Adepts level of experience.  I guess it could be 4 if you counted Helstar's graduation 
challenge to the Dark Arena, but we do not since he is now immortal and no worse for 
wear.  Condolences to those who lost warriors today!

Our most avoided team was once again Constant Sorrow.  They were mostly avoided by 
Huckle's Cats.  Constant Sorrow is sitting atop our Three-Turn Rankings, so it is no 
surprise that many teams are avoiding them.  Albert of Akakia was the most challenged 
warrior for the day. Once again using our deductive skills, we can guess that the 3-
11-0 record has garnered Albert lots of attention in the rankings.  Naked and Afraid 
challenged down a bit (8 points) to fight and beat Albert in a quick, 1-minute fight.

Helstar left us after today's fights, and I have already mentioned The Redneck is also 
a Lord Protector after today's games.  I need to mention OKStupid too, who has joined 
the ranks of Lord Protector after today's games.  Congrats to all of our recent 
graduates.  We look forward to celebrating you in Seam on your final turn in the arena 
before moving onto the Isle.  It looks as if there are few others closing in on 
graduation requirements and achieving immortality.  I wish each of you luck!

Okay, it is time for me to go, my darlings.  It has been an exhausting day, but it is 
exhausting in a good way.  I enjoy it when the arena is so active.  There is much to 
do on the reporting side, but the effort is worth it when there is such excitement.  
Good luck to all in the contest!  I cannot wait to see the initial standings when 
Alfredo posts them!  Goodbye until next time!

                                          -- Sidara Brightbell

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE REDNECK 1129             14   9  1   147       ROBO VILLAGE (68)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OKSTUPID 950                 31  17  0   132       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154        14   7  0   122       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 CHUGS 1219                   13   3  0   118       200 PROOF (87)
 PASCAL LYNXEAR 1019          32  16  0   112       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 I DON'T MOW 941              24  29  0   111       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 679          26  23  1   106       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 GI JANE 1171                 11   7  0   105       HERO'S INC (67)
 PATRON SILVER 1197           10   6  0   101       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 BENNAKYL 1109                18  15  1    97       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148       16   6  0    95       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 MAYOR FOX 1179               10   8  0    95       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 BULLY BOBCAT 1078            16  18  0    94       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 ETERNAL BLOSSOM 1158         12   9  0    93       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 MECHADEPLORABLE 1080         22  12  0    91       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COCAINE SMILE 1180           13   5  0    90       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 MR. READ-A-LOT 1077          13  21  0    90       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 CROAKER 1086                 17  15  0    89       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 FURIOUS INHALER 1108         18  14  1    87       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 POOR JUDGEMENT 1213          12   4  1    87       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 DOCTOR LION 1127             11  15  1    87       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 THE LAST BEER 1244            8   4  0    86       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 TRAPS 983                    15  37  1    83       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 ANVIL 1113                   12  16  0    83       METAL BLADE (69)
 LIZ DANFORTH 1222             9   6  0    82       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 GENERAL LIABILITY 38         16  20  0    78       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 DEORN 1152                   13   9  2    73       HERO'S INC (67)
 MANOWAR 1259                  7   5  0    72       METAL BLADE (69)
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216         13   3  0    71       200 PROOF (87)
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159          11  10  0    71       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 FRIENDZONE 1174              11   6  4    68       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 EPICUREAN 1246                8   5  0    67       METAL BLADE (69)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DY-QUIL 1107                 16  17  1    66       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 AMOXIKILLIN 1105             14  12  2    66       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224            10   5  0    66       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 THE ACES 1277                 5   3  1    66       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 MOTHER-IN-LAW 1239            8   6  0    65       CONSTANT SORROW (81)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EARTHQUAKE SEASON 887        15  15  0    62       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 HARMACIST 1126               10  10  0    62       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238         9   5  0    61       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 HOEB 1184                    10   7  1    60       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 AHSHONDALAI 498              15  13  1    59       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC 1170       8  10  0    59       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 GUMBO 1075                   11  24  1    58       LOST SENTINELS (19)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUZIE CANA 1262               6   2  0    54       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 NAKED AND AFRAID 1160        12   7  0    53       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225          7   8  1    53       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133          12   4  2    51       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 BOOJUM 1284                   6   1  0    51       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 PLANK 1145                    8   8  0    49       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164       9  10  1    47       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 CHARTREUSE 1199               9   7  0    47       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 HOODED LEMMING 1249           8   5  0    47       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 WASTED 1217                   9   7  0    43       200 PROOF (87)
 SKUNK APE 1190                8   8  0    43       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 HELLVETICA 1236               8   6  0    42       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 SCROLLING REDDIT 1136         8   8  0    40       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137         8   8  1    39       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 PINK FOAM 1295                4   2  0    37       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 552           9   9  0    36       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 CALI GOLD RUSH 1264           7   4  0    36       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183             9   8  0    35       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 SAM LAY 1279                  4   4  1    35       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200        9   7  0    34       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218            9   7  0    34       200 PROOF (87)
 SPACE TOAST 1285              5   3  0    34       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557           5  12  1    33       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 BRONDOSHONDIEHI 1289          3   4  1    33       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 STEVEN 1209                   3  12  0    33       AKAKIA (86)
 BLERG! 1327                   1   0  1    33       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 TIDE POD 1143                 8   8  0    32       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 SHAKIN' FOR BACON 1050        7  10  1    32       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 BIFF 1212                     5  10  0    30       AKAKIA (86)
 GUT SHOT 1282                 6   2  1    29       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 ALBERT 1210                   3  12  0    29       AKAKIA (86)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135         6  10  0    28       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 ATARI 2600 1269               7   4  0    27       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 VERUS CAIN 1255               7   5  0    26       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 CANNON MOLE 1139              4   1  2    26       WEIRDING WAYS (53)
 CODEX 1268                    2   9  1    26       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 PITFALL 1312                  4   0  0    25       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 SHONDAILADONDAI 856           4  12  0    24       AH TONGUES OF FIRE (49)
 GEORGIA TOM DORSEY 1278       3   5  0    24       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223             3  12  0    21       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 TRAILER TRASH 1310            2   2  0    20       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 MICROMANAGEMENT 1325          2   0  0    20       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 PARNO 1258                    3   9  0    18       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 EVOLETT 1326                  2   0  0    16       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 WILLIAM BUCKWELL III 1304     1   3  0    15       AKAKIA (86)
 JOHNNY COPELAND 1281          3   5  0    14       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 CHARLIE CHARLIE 1313          2   0  0    13       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 GLOOM 1309                    1   3  1    13       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 COMBAT 1332                   1   0  0    13       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 TEXAS ALEXANDER 1330          1   0  1    11       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VORA LIONEYE 1300             2   3  0    10       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 CANDYMAN 1283                 1   6  0     9       STRANGER DANGERS (82)
 TONY 1316                     1   1  0     8       HERO'S INC (67)
 THE SCRAPPER 1293             0   6  0     8       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 BURP 1322                     1   1  0     4       200 PROOF (87)
 MILK CRATE 1298               0   4  0     4       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 DARKNESS 1320                 0   2  0     2       METAL BLADE (69)
 OBNOXIOUS 1317                0   2  0     2       HERO'S INC (67)
 ADVENTURE 1331                0   1  0     1       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 GREG 1328                     0   1  0     1       AKAKIA (86)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SLICK 1208              7  7 0 AKAKIA 86            DO IT TOMORROW 1133   198   
TRAFFIC JAMS 1274       3  2 1 CONSTANT SORROW 81   WHAT'S STREAMING 1137 195  REVENGED
HIGH ELF                0  0 0 DARK ARENA           BLERG! 1327           199  NONE
POSTMAN 1201            6 10 1 HERO'S INC 67        FRIENDZONE 1174       199   
BANANA SPRITE 1323      0  1 0 HOLD MY BEER 79      TEXAS ALEXANDER 1330  199   
KYLIE JENNER LIP 1146   6  8 1 HOLD MY BEER 79      THE ACES 1277         197   
PENNY OUTLET 1253       4  4 0 HOLD MY BEER 79      BRITTNEY GRINER 1225  196  REVENGED
DARTH ARENA 2 1329      0  1 0 HUCKLE'S CATS 23     SHEWISH BOUNCER       199  NONE
EVOLETT 1305            0  1 0 LOST SENTINELS 19    POPS STAPLES 1280     196  REVENGED
AETERNAM 1299           2  1 0 METAL BLADE 69       SAM LAY 1279          197  REVENGED
HELSTAR 976            25 26 0 METAL BLADE 69       THE WRECK KING        199  NONE
POPS STAPLES 1280       2  5 1 NO TOURNAMENT BLU 89 GLOOM 1309            198  JUST REVENGED
STIMULUS CHECK 1272     3  6 1 PANDEMIC BOREDOM 78  CODEX 1268            199   
SNAFU 1286              5  2 0 PIXELBENDERS 36      GUT SHOT 1282         198  JUST REVENGED
MOTHMAN 1189            6 10 1 STRANGER DANGERS 82  REPLACEMENT THEO 1164 199   
THE YIPS 1333           0  1 0 STRANGER DANGERS 82  DARK CHAMPION         199  NONE
ATOMIC CRAYON 1294      2  1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 4    BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH 557   196  REVENGED
FAILED EXPERIMEN 1334   0  1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 4    DARK CHAMPION         199  NONE
NOBODY 1335             0  1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 4    SHEWISH BOUNCER       199  NONE
SUICIDE MISSION 1051    9  8 0 WEIRDING WAYS 53     AMOXIKILLIN 1105      199   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

WELCOME ALL TO THE ARENA PERFORMANCE STAGE OF THE CONTEST!! Good luck to all, and if 
your luck isn't so good, please at the very least have a good time! -- alfredo 
Frothingslosh, your Host and Cruise Director

Okay so I was lazy and did not send in the standings for turn 198. If you're really 
that interested, take turn 197's standings,and add 1 bottle to each manager's score; 
that's all there is to it. -- alf, feeling a little cranky after his lousy turn 198

Sidara -- You did not think I was talking about you, did you? See I was talking about 
all of those other nosey spy reporters. I would never say such a thing about you! -- 
alfredo

Darque -- Thanks it should be fun! -- alf

Sidara -- You were surprised that BOZO got DA'd being that he was 15-7-0. Well...he 
was also 15-3-0. Does it make more sense now? -- alf

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

Hellvetica -- Thanks for the skills. -- Steven

Trailer Trash -- How'd that challenge go for you? --  Biff

Chartreuse -- How'd that challenge go for you... Oh wait it worked out well for you! 
-- Albert

Ecology -- Bringing a stick to an Axe fight didn't seem like a good choice to me.  I 
was wrong. --  William

Sidara Brightbell -- Of course we are mourning.  You aren't a good spy reporter but we 
would still mourn if someone killed you. -- Blue, mgr NTB

Akakia -- Sorry I killed Slick...one turn too early.  Maybe we really are coming out 
of the pandemic! -- Do It Tomorrow

I want all of you to know that I just had a cancerous thing removed from my bottom 
lip.  Crazy!  I mean, it's not a broken leg and neck but I'll still be wearing a full 
helm until it heals and I get my rugged good looks back. -- Pappy

If I say that I kinda like the new Velma will that automatically put me on the Least 
Popular list? -- What's Streaming

Chugs -- Well,  that was a fight. Avoid will be noted. -- Anvil

Charlie Charlie -- We should try that again after a few more fights. Good fight. -- 
Darkness

Replacement Theory -- Thanks for the skills. Epicurean

About frelling time that Helstar got his invite. Damn turd of a scum.
For those interested: 13(+1)-18(+1)-17-9(+2)-17(+2)-5-13(+2) Faves are Large Shield, 
VL/L. Off to retirement for this guy. Hope he can come out of the Dark Arena alive. 
Give me one more win before going away, ya stupid scum. -- Producer

All -- Your deductibles have been reset and the only way to meet them...is with blood! 
-- Neroticus

Seam -- Not only am I the guy that is most popular in Robo Village, but now I'm most 
popular in Seam.  Look at me!  Best mullet around, incredible stache, and the biceps, 
have you seen the biceps?!?!  This is why I am Popularity Leader, cuz I got the goods.  
Not only that, you should see me fight, it's a treat for all. -- The Redneck, 
Popularity Leader, Chartered Recognition Leader, and THE Duelmaster

Eli -- Good to meet you at the F2F tourney this year. -- The Landlord

Biff -- Those pink flamingos are treasure here in Robo Village, I would never damage 
those! -- Trailer Trash

The Last Beer -- I have never had a "last beer" before, mostly because my favorite 
beer is the next one. -- I Don't Mow

Scrolling Reddit -- I think I beat you, but I drink too much and too often, and then I 
like men, too much.  Kinda explains my situation.  But, this bun in the oven turns the 
weirdos on, and I like weirdos, which is why I liked you. -- Pregnant Alcoholic

Georgia Tom Dorsey -- I hacked away at you for 6 minutes, lost but the crowd loves me 
now.  I cannot go anywhere without people slapping my back and telling me how cool I 
am.  Next time I'll put you down, dirt-nap style. -- The Scrapper

Riff Raff -- Not a fan of losing Snafu. -- Lorenzo

All -- Anyone interested in Snafu's digits, here they are: 9-10-11-17-21-7-9 LU...he 
was just getting warmed up too. It begins! -- Biff "the boss" Frothingslosh, mgr 200 
Proof, 2023 Winner of 199 Beers Contest

Riff-Raff -- Wow, I know right? I was shocked, shocked I tells ya, that my manager 
would send me after another warrior who, checks newsletter, has the EXACT same number 
of fights as me -- Dark "was that sarcastic enough" Inebriator

From here on in I am going to try to kill or be killed. -- Chugs

From here on in I am going to try to learn more than one freakin skill a turn. -- 
Teepeetotaler

From here on...umm...in.... I'm gna try ta... wait, whatchutalkinbout? -- Wasted

I'm too new to have any thoughts on anything -- Burp... wait, seriously, Biff named me 
Burp? Ugh

All -- Carrying on the tradition of naming my warriors after early 80's pixelbending 
video games, please welcome Adventure & Combat -- both Atari 2600 throwbacks. -- 
Lorenzo

Tide Pod -- Rubber match? -- Big Brittney

Skunk Ape -- Better re-up that insurance. -- Liz

Seam -- Here we go! No avoids is bound to be interesting. -- Local Girls

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HELSTAR was viciously butchered by THE WRECK KING in a 6 minute Dark Arena fight.
NOBODY was murdered by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
THE YIPS was assassinated by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DARTH ARENA 2 was dealt death by SHEWISH BOUNCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
BLERG! savagely slew HIGH ELF in a exciting 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
FAILED EXPERIMENT was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
TIDE POD was overpowered by BRITTNEY GRINER in a 1 minute Bloodfeud struggle.
HELLVETICA narrowly defeated GUT SHOT in a dull 6 minute gruesome Bloodfeud melee.
GEORGIA TOM DORSEY unbelievably bested GLOOM in a 2 minute gory Bloodfeud duel.
THE REDNECK vanquished CROAKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title duel.
MAYOR FOX was savagely defeated by OKSTUPID in a 5 minute Challenge match.
GOAT WITH NO NAME defeated GENERAL LIABILITY in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge match.
CHUGS bested ANVIL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict.
I DON'T MOW outlasted MR. READ-A-LOT in a tiring 11 minute master's Challenge match.
MECHADEPLORABLE outwaited DOCTOR LION in a 7 minute veteran's Challenge conflict.
BARBARA EDEN was overpowered by ETERNAL BLOSSOM in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
BULLY BOBCAT handily defeated TRAPS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
TEENAGE DAUGHTER was devastated by THE LAST BEER in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
MANOWAR was subdued by LIZ DANFORTH in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.
FRIENDZONE killed POSTMAN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge fight.
MOTHMAN was viciously butchered by REPLACEMENT THEORY in a 3 minute Challenge contest.
NAKED AND AFRAID overpowered ALBERT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
THE ACES overpowered HOODED LEMMING in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
WASTED was handily defeated by MOTHER-IN-LAW in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
CALI GOLD RUSH was demolished by EPICUREAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SUZIE CANA won victory over SKUNK APE in a popular 1 minute Challenge match.
PREGNANT ALCOHOLIC viciously subdued AHSHONDALAI in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
BOOJUM vanquished FRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 2 minute gruesome uneven Challenge bout.
SPACE TOAST beat THE SCRAPPER in a 3 minute Challenge fray.
FLAMING DR PEPPER beat ROSE MOFFORD in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
WHAT MONTH IS IT was vanquished by BRONDOSHONDIEHI in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
STEVEN lost to DO IT TOMORROW in a popular 4 minute Challenge fray.
STIMULUS CHECK was savagely slain by CODEX in a popular 1 minute gory Challenge match.
TRAILER TRASH was narrowly defeated by TEEPEETOTALER in a 7 minute Challenge bout.
BURP lost to WILLIAM BUCKWELL III in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge fight.
DARKNESS was subdued by TONY in a exciting 1 minute amateur's Challenge match.
MILK CRATE was viciously subdued by SHONDAILADONDAI in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
MICROMANAGEMENT vanquished CANDYMAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
PITFALL outwaited VERUS CAIN in a 21 minute amateur vs. veteran upset Challenge bout.
PASCAL LYNXEAR was viciously subdued by PATRON SILVER in a 6 minute one-sided match.
COCAINE SMILE was vanquished by HOP ONTHEBUS GUS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
GI JANE handily defeated VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute gory mismatched duel.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS unbelievably bested BENNAKYL in a 5 minute master's match.
FURIOUS INHALER savagely defeated EARTHQUAKE SEASON in a 1 minute veteran's match.
POOR JUDGEMENT vanquished GUMBO in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
DAKIA WILDROSE overpowered SAM LAY in a exciting 1 minute uneven competition.
DEORN subdued HARMACIST in a exciting 1 minute conflict.
HOEB was subdued by DARK INEBRIATOR in a popular 1 minute battle.
DY-QUIL savagely defeated WHAT'S STREAMING in a 2 minute bloody conflict.
AMOXIKILLIN easily killed SUICIDE MISSION in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CHARTREUSE subdued BRAHNDAHDAHDIAH in a 2 minute battle.
TUMBLE BELLY was bested by SCROLLING REDDIT in a 2 minute fight.
ATARI 2600 was devastated by PLANK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BIFF viciously subdued SHAKIN' FOR BACON in a tiring 9 minute gory brawl.
PINK FOAM vanquished PARNO in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
JOHNNY COPELAND was defeated by EVOLETT in a 3 minute brawl.
CHARLIE CHARLIE viciously subdued OBNOXIOUS in a exciting 6 minute novice's contest.
CANNON MOLE vanquished GREG in a 1 minute mismatched match.
VORA LIONEYE subdued ADVENTURE in a 2 minute bloody novice's conflict.
COMBAT overpowered TOUGH MAMA in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
TEXAS ALEXANDER murdered BANANA SPRITE in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  23         AIMED BLOW        79 -  56 -  3      59  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     18         LUNGING ATTACK   128 - 107 -  6      54  |
|AIMED BLOW                      15         TOTAL PARRY       86 -  86 -  1      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         PARRY-LUNGE       19 -  19 -  1      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         WALL OF STEEL     57 -  60 -  6      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         PARRY-RIPOSTE     20 -  22 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         SLASHING ATTACK   43 -  54 -  2      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         STRIKING ATTACK   36 -  53 -  4      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  56 -  3      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-STRIKE      21 -  34 -  1      38  |

Turn 199 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK    15 -  8     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  6         4  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY       11 -  7     WALL OF STEEL      5 -  6         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         8 -  7     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  6         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              BASHING ATTACK     2 -  9         1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  THE REDNECK 1129           14   9  1  147 ROBO VILLAGE (68)
TOTAL PARRY      OKSTUPID 950               31  17  0  132 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
LUNGING ATTACK   HOP ONTHEBUS GUS 1154      14   7  0  122 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
AIMED BLOW       GI JANE 1171               11   7  0  105 HERO'S INC (67)
SLASHING ATTACK  BENNAKYL 1109              18  15  1   97 PHARMANOMICON (76)
PARRY-STRIKE     GOAT WITH NO NAME 1148     16   6  0   95 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   COCAINE SMILE 1180         13   5  0   90 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    LIZ DANFORTH 1222           9   6  0   82 LOCAL GIRLS (88)
WALL OF STEEL    FRIENDZONE 1174            11   6  4   68 CONSTANT SORROW (81)
PARRY-LUNGE      TUMBLE BELLY 1183           9   8  0   35 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE REDNECK 1129.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was DOCTOR LION 1127.  The ten other most popular fighters were PATRON SILVER 
1197, BENNAKYL 1109, MAYOR FOX 1179, CHARLIE CHARLIE 1313, MANOWAR 1259, POSTMAN 
1201, STEVEN 1209, TRAILER TRASH 1310, FURIOUS INHALER 1108, and OKSTUPID 950.

The least popular fighter this week was VERUS CAIN 1255.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PITFALL 1312, BIFF 1212, I DON'T MOW 941, HELLVETICA 1236, SHAKIN' FOR 
BACON 1050, GUT SHOT 1282, OBNOXIOUS 1317, BANANA SPRITE 1323, GREG 1328, and EVOLETT 
1326.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

THE REDNECK (20-1129) ROBO VILLAGE (68)
OKSTUPID (20-950) WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

HELSTAR (20-976) METAL BLADE (69)