DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/15/2023    Duedate: 08/28/2023

SEAM ARENA

DM-20    TURN-213

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

TEEPEETOTALER
200 PROOF (87)
(20-1218) [16-14-0,105]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DARK INEBRIATOR                NEENER NEENER
200 PROOF (87)                 RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
(20-1216) [21-8-0,121]         (20-1382) [6-2-1,57]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DY-QUIL                        SQUARE
PHARMANOMICON (76)             RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
(20-1107) [23-24-1,100]        (20-1413) [4-1-0,36]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

RUBBER VS GLUE (90)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CONSTANT SORROW (81)        37
2. RUBBER VS GLUE (90)         35      200 PROOF (87)
3. HUCKLE'S CATS (23)          25      Unchartered Team
4. NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)    21
5. THIRSTY THUGS (31)          20      RUBBER VS GLUE (90)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*RUBBER VS GLUE (90)       28  10  1 73.7   1/ 3*RUBBER VS GLUE (90)      12  3 0
 2- 2 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)   118  75  4 61.1   2/ 1 200 PROOF (87)           11  4 0
 3/ 3 200 PROOF (87)            87  61  3 58.8   3/ 2 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)      10  5 1
 4/ 4 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)      140 107  4 56.7   4/ 4 PHARMANOMICON (76)       10  5 0
 5- 5 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)    248 193 16 56.2   5/ 6 CONSTANT SORROW (81)      9  6 1
 6/ 6 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          77  64  4 54.6   6/ 9 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)        8  6 1
 7/ 7 CONSTANT SORROW (81)      84  71 10 54.2   7/ 8 PIXELBENDERS (36)         8  7 0
 8/ 8 PIXELBENDERS (36)        505 445 14 53.2   8/11 NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  8  7 0
 9/ 9 PHARMANOMICON (76)       118 109  7 52.0   9- 5 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)    7  2 0
10/10 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)      532 510 29 51.1  10/17 LOST SENTINELS (19)       7  7 0
11/14 NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)  55  55  6 50.0  11- 7 WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)     6  4 1
12/12 ROBO VILLAGE (68)        163 169  8 49.1  12/16 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       6  7 1
13/13 THIRSTY THUGS (31)       487 508 14 48.9  13/10 DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)       6  7 0
14/15 CALL YOUR SHOT (84)       71  76  2 48.3  14/12 HOLD MY BEER (79)         6  9 0
15/16 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)       463 516 22 47.3  15/13 AKAKIA (86)               5 10 0
16/17 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     64  86  5 42.7  16/15 THIRSTY THUGS (31)        4 10 0
17/18 LOST SENTINELS (19)      408 616 43 39.8  17/20 ROBO VILLAGE (68)         4 11 0
18/19 HOLD MY BEER (79)         56  88  2 38.9  18/18 PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)     4 11 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 AKAKIA (86)               43 100  0 30.1  19/14 LOCAL GIRLS (88)          4 11 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            99 BEERS III!!! (+100) FINAL CONTEST STANDINGS -- TURN 29/212

       POS    TEAM                     MANAGER        212     PREV      TOTAL
      -----  -----------------------  ------------  -------  --------  --------
         1    * ALFREDOVISION(TM)      alfredo       10.50    197.33    207.83
         2      LOCAL GIRLS            Professor      2.00    171.33    173.33
         3    * WAY OF ALL FLESH       Manray         6.00    162.50    168.50
         4    * 200 PROOF              Biff          21.00    107.33    128.33
         5    * CONSTANT SORROW        Mannequin      3.00    118.50    121.50
         6    * ROBO VILLAGE           Landlord       2.00    107.33    109.33
         7      PHARMANOMICON          Neuroticus    16.00     74.50     90.50
         8      UNLIKELY HEROES        DD             7.00     78.50     85.50
         9    * CALL YOUR SHOT         Riff Raff      2.00     77.00     79.00
        10      PIXELBENDERS           Lorenzo        4.50     74.00     78.50
        11      HERO'S INC             Eli            0.00     75.33     75.33
        12      NO TOURNAMENT BLUES    Blue           3.00     63.83     66.83
        13    * PANDEMIC BOREDOM       Pappy          4.00     62.50     66.50
        14      DARQUE KNIGHTS         Darque         2.00     63.50     65.50
        15    * RUBBER VS GLUE         Eb            12.00     34.00     46.00
        16    * AKAKIA                 Coach          2.00     34.00     36.00
        17      HOLD MY BEER           Mr G           2.00     32.00     34.00

                     -- teams with an * participated in the CwaC

Game over!  99 BEERS III (+100) is now in the record books.

And we'll let you in on a little secret: 99 BOTTLES OF BEER IV will be starting on 
turn 249. We realize that is a long time from now, but this time there will be no 
"warmup" stage. The scoring system will make it all but impossible for a new team to 
have any reasonable chance to win. so every manager will be responsible for getting 
their team prepared prior to turn 249 on their own. There will be some other changes 
made to the scoring system, but it will be very similar in nature. Look for an 
announcement to be made in the near future.

                                    THE WINNERS!!

      Main Contest
      --------------------------------------------
      1st:  ALFREDOVISION(TM), managed by alfredo Frothingslosh, 207.83 bottles, 
             4 Cream of the Slosh replacements
      2nd:  LOCAL GIRLS, managed by the Professor, 173.33 bottles, 
             3 Cream of the Slosh replacements
      3rd:  WAY OF ALL FLESH, managed by Manray Frothingslosh, 168.50 bottles, 
             2 Cream of the Slosh replacements
      4th:  200 PROOF, managed by Biff "the Boss" Frothingslosh, 128.33 bottles, 
             1 Cream of the Slosh replacement

      Contest within a Contest
      --------------------------------------------
      1st:  alfredo Frothingslosh, 33 certs
      2nd:  Manray Frothingslosh, 22 certs
      3rd:  Biff "the Boss" Frothingslosh. 11 certs

                          Thank you for your participation, 
                        and see you all at the end of 2024 for
                               99 BOTTLES OF BEER IV!!

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
SEAM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, 200 PROOF, since RUBBER VS 
GLUE took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Now keep the taverns 
open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for LOCAL GIRLS, whose 1-4-0 this 
turn dropped them by 5 into 19th.  Ha!  LOST SENTINELS turned their 4-1-0 turn into a 
10th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you get put on 
hit lists.  Gee, I'm impressed, a 4-1-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, NO TOURNAMENT 
BLUES, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are proud.  Of course, we're all 
terribly impressed to see BARBARA EDEN win a fight and gain 21 points, terribly.  
Tsk, tsk, PEPTO-ABYSMAL beat CHAIN GANGSTER and CHAIN GANGSTER lost 13 points.  
You're breakin' my heart.  TEEPEETOTALER challenged SEAM's Duelmaster for a shot at 
the throne.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as TEEPEETOTALER takes the 
Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The Frozen Arms 
Inn, humph!  I've tasted better ale at mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  
From SEAM's trash dumps?   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  ROBO VILLAGE was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  
Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was RUBBER VS GLUE.  Ha ha ha ha!  SALLY CAT was 
challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or 
feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to ROSE MOFFORD of LOCAL GIRLS 
for challenging up by 25 to THE ACES.  ROSE MOFFORD lost to get 84 points of 
recognition.  And we have DARK INEBRIATOR in a challenge, going down 14 points for 
the fight.  Guess what?  I thought DARK INEBRIATOR showed great skill and promise 
when she won victory over SPACE TOAST.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!  
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  And now a passing thought on a warrior dying young 
(BOAT JUMP of HOLD MY BEER):  You had your chance and now you're dead.  Oh well...  
We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up with you 
sooner that later?   
     What does the SEAM arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as comfortable 
to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before I leave 
the fine city of SEAM.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see the back of this place-- 
Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TEEPEETOTALER 1218           16  14  0   105       200 PROOF (87)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARK INEBRIATOR 1216         21   8  0   121       200 PROOF (87)
 BARBARA EDEN 1224            20   9  0   112       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 MAYOR FOX 1179               18  14  0   111       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 THE ACES 1277                14   8  1   109       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 HARMACIST 1126               18  16  1   105       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DY-QUIL 1107                 23  24  1   100       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 TEENAGE DAUGHTER 1238        17  11  0    95       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 CALI GOLD RUSH 1264          16   9  0    95       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPACE TOAST 1285             13   9  0    89       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 WASTED 1217                  19  11  1    88       200 PROOF (87)
 FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200       17  13  0    84       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 WHAT MONTH IS IT 1135        15  15  0    84       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 ROSE MOFFORD 1223            13  16  0    84       LOCAL GIRLS (88)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAKIA WILDROSE 1159          15  20  0    82       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
-NAKED AND AFRAID 1160        19  13  0    79       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
-PINK FOAM 1295               10   9  0    79       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 BRITTNEY GRINER 1225         16  13  3    78       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 MICROMANAGEMENT 1325         11   5  1    72       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 ATARI 2600 1269              15  10  0    71       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 TEMPEST 1348                 10   3  0    71       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 DO IT TOMORROW 1133          19  11  2    70       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
-REPLACEMENT THEORY 1164      18  14  1    69       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHAT'S STREAMING 1137        13  17  1    66       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 TUMBLE BELLY 1183            16  15  0    65       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 BIFF 1212                    11  18  0    65       AKAKIA (86)
-HOLD THIS 1352                9   3  0    65       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 HELLVETICA 1236              14  14  0    64       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 PLANK 1145                   13  17  0    64       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 PARNO 1258                    9  17  0    64       LOST SENTINELS (19)
-CRAPTASTIC 1345               9   3  0    64       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 24 HOUR FORT 1361             8   3  0    63       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 HOEB 1184                    15  16  1    62       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 CODEX 1268                    9  16  2    60       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 NEENER NEENER 1382            6   2  1    57       RUBBER VS GLUE (90)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VORA LIONEYE 1300            10   9  0    56       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 TWITTER TROLL 1405            4   2  0    56       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 CHARTREUSE 1199              12  18  0    54       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 CHARLIE CHARLIE 1313          8   8  0    54       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 BURP 1322                     9   7  1    52       200 PROOF (87)
 SAM LAY 1279                 11  11  2    51       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 BUT WHAT AM I 1383            8   0  0    51       RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
 ZALA FIREHAIR 1399            5   1  0    46       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 PITFALL 1312                 13   5  0    44       PIXELBENDERS (36)
 ALBERT 1210                   7  22  0    43       AKAKIA (86)
 EVOLETT 1326                 11   5  0    38       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 DEMOLITION DOG 1390           7   1  0    37       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 SQUARE 1413                   4   1  0    36       RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
 ORA ALEXANDER 1410            3   2  1    34       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FARMER FOX 1341               7   7  0    33       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 PEPTO-ABYSMAL 1394            3   4  0    31       PHARMANOMICON (76)
 DEATHY POT 1353               6   4  0    30       PHARMANOMICON (76)
-RIGHT ON TIME 1355            8   1  0    29       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 GREG 1328                     4  11  0    28       AKAKIA (86)
 HALF OZ POUR 1418             3   2  2    28       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
 I KNOW YOU ARE 1381           7   1  0    27       RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
 COMBAT 1332                   6   9  0    27       PIXELBENDERS (36)
-DROWN IN ASHES 1426           2   1  0    26       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
 THE CAT LADY 1358             5   7  3    25       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 EMMA STONE 1370               4   6  0    25       LOCAL GIRLS (88)
 RAT FINK 1420                 3   1  0    25       RUBBER VS GLUE (90)
 TRASHY MISTRESS 1357          6   6  0    24       ROBO VILLAGE (68)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MISSISSIPPI SHEIKS 1378       2   6  0    23       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 SCHOOL DROPOUT 1367           6   4  0    22       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 SALLY CAT 1415                2   3  1    21       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 RUN AMOK 1429                 2   0  0    20       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
 ENFEEBLEMENT RAY 1428         2   1  0    19       THIRSTY THUGS (31)
-RACETOTHEBOTTOM 1396          3   3  1    18       WAY OF ALL FLESH (17)
-ALICE THE GOON 1431           2   0  0    18       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHAIN GANGSTER 1392           5   2  0    17       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 PLANTER'S PUNCH 1436          2   1  1    16       CALL YOUR SHOT (84)
 TARL 1441                     2   0  0    16       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 REMOTE WORK 1395              2   5  0    14       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 MOZELLE ALDERSON 1406         3   3  0    13       NO TOURNAMENT BLUES (89)
 HEADCASE 1404                 2   4  0    13       LOST SENTINELS (19)
 KEVIN'S BROTHER 1444          1   1  0    12       AKAKIA (86)
 IRONCLAD KNIGHT 1423          3   1  1    11       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 FERAL DIVA 1393               2   5  0    11       UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
 BAZ EBONSOUL 1398             2   4  0    10       DARQUE KNIGHTS (22)
 PEER PRESSURE 1419            2   3  0     9       CONSTANT SORROW (81)
-CONVICT OF INTEREST 1430      1   1  0     8       ALFREDOVISION(TM) (77)
 GUY WITH SHED 1440            1   2  0     5       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 WILLIAM BUCKWELL IV 1438      1   2  0     5       AKAKIA (86)
 HILDA HIPPO 1446              1   1  0     5       HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
 THREADS 1442                  1   1  0     4       PANDEMIC BOREDOM (78)
 GHOST PEPPER 1434             0   3  0     3       HOLD MY BEER (79)
 SMELLY OLD LADY 1443          0   2  0     2       ROBO VILLAGE (68)
 COHERENCE 1445                0   2  0     2       THIRSTY THUGS (31)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SOOZ'R DA BOOZ'R 1409   1  5 0 200 PROOF 87         HALF OZ POUR 1418     213   
KEVIN 1439              0  1 0 AKAKIA 86            PLANTER'S PUNCH 1436  211   
STEVEN 1209             6 20 0 AKAKIA 86            SAM LAY 1279          210   
KAMIKAZE 1437           0  1 0 CALL YOUR SHOT 84    IRONCLAD KNIGHT 1423  211   
HELGA KNIFEHAND 1432    0  1 0 DARQUE KNIGHTS 22    THE WRECK KING        213  NONE
BOAT JUMP 1433          2  1 0 HOLD MY BEER 79      SALLY CAT 1415        213   
NGORONGARO CENTE 1414   1  2 0 HUCKLE'S CATS 23     RACETOTHEBOTTOM 1396  211  REVENGED
LINDA RONSTADT 1424     0  4 0 LOCAL GIRLS 88       BLACK ORC             213  NONE
PREGNANT ALCOHOL 1170  14 14 0 ROBO VILLAGE 68      DEORN 1152            209  NOT REVENGED
RAT FINK 1397           0  1 0 RUBBER VS GLUE 90    HALF OZ POUR 1418     209  NOT REVENGED
ONLYDEATHISREAL 1411    0  1 0 WAY OF ALL FLESH 17  ORA ALEXANDER 1410    209  NOT REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

                               Pappy went down to Seam
                         He was lookin' for a title to steal
                      He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind
                            He was willing to make a deal
         When he came across a man fillin' out a strat sheet, playin' it hot
         And Pappy jumped upon an ol' stump and said "Let me tell you what."
                "I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a PBM player, too
              And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
             Now you play a pretty good game, boy, but give Pappy his due
        I'll bet a gold fiddle against your soul 'cause I'm better than you."

                 The boy said, "My name's Alf, and it might be a sin
          I'll take the bet, you'll regret, I'm the best there's ever been."

               Alf, sharpen up your pencil and play your fighters hard
             'Cause Hell's broke loose in Seam and Pappy deals the cards
                And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold
                         But if you lose Pappy gets your soul

          Pappy laid out his strategies and he said, "I'll start this show."
             And fire flew from his fingertips as he picked up his pencil
           And he waved the pencil over the papers and it made an evil hiss
            And other teams joined in and it sounded something like this:

           (Do It Tomorrow killing repeatedly, managers secretly avoid him)

           When Pappy finished, Alf said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son
          But sit in that chair right there, let me show you how it's done."

                          "Hop OnTheBus Gus" Run, boys, run!
                   Naked and Afraid in the house of the rising sun
                The Last Beer in the fridge, 21 deftness, not too slow
                  Pappy, does your wall of steel win? No, child, no.

               Pappy bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
              And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Alf's feet
           Alf said, "Pappy, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
        I told you once--you son of a bitch--I'm the best there's ever been."

All -- Watch out -- The Harmacist's license has been reinstated. -- Neuroticus

Hail Arena 20 -- Congrats to everyone on a great contest. Big ups to the big man 
himself, Alfredo Consuelo Frothingslosh, winner of the contest by a decent margin. I 
remember Alf when he was just a wee manager, decked out in short shorts and a big 
bushy moustache. Now he has no moustache and rarely wears clothes. An improvement? I 
say yes, he's way more aerodynamic now.

Also great to see 3 of the top 4 spots be Sloshers, not sure how we let the Professor 
sneak in there, though we did make him pay for his mistake the last couple of terms. 
Good job though Prof.

Also congrats to, Biff "The Boss" Frothingslosh for his great finish. A 21 Bottle turn 
without graduating a warrior or taking DM, he has to be some kind of super genius to 
pull that off. A truly amazing and vast intellect that guy.

I also think Pappy should get some kind of award for the best Person Ads. Was he sober 
at any point this last year, no, and he made it work for him. Kudos Pappy

Hopefully everyone returns for the next contest, I promise I will take it much more 
seriously, or less seriously, I am a fickle Frothingslosher -- Biff "The Boss" 
Frothingslosher, mgr 200 PROOF

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LINDA RONSTADT was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
HELGA KNIFEHAND was butchered by THE WRECK KING in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
TEEPEETOTALER subdued FURIOUS INHALER in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge Title melee.
DARK INEBRIATOR devastated SPACE TOAST in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
BRITTNEY GRINER was overpowered by HARMACIST in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
WHAT MONTH IS IT devastated CODEX in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge duel.
ROSE MOFFORD was beaten by THE ACES in a 2 minute master's Challenge brawl.
DAKIA WILDROSE overpowered DO IT TOMORROW in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee.
BURP lost to BIFF in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
WHAT'S STREAMING defeated CHARLIE CHARLIE in a action packed 6 minute Challenge duel.
PLANK overpowered CHARTREUSE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BUT WHAT AM I overpowered ORA ALEXANDER in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge match.
TWITTER TROLL viciously subdued PITFALL in a exciting 4 minute Challenge contest.
NEENER NEENER devastated ALBERT in a 1 minute bloody mismatched Challenge bout.
SQUARE defeated SCHOOL DROPOUT in a popular 3 minute Challenge duel.
TRASHY MISTRESS bested BAZ EBONSOUL in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
GHOST PEPPER was overcome by MOZELLE ALDERSON in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
RAT FINK bested PEER PRESSURE in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge brawl.
IRONCLAD KNIGHT defeated COHERENCE in a 2 minute novice's Challenge bout.
HALF OZ POUR executed SOOZ'R DA BOOZ'R in a 1 minute gory one-sided Challenge bout.
THREADS slimly lost to KEVIN'S BROTHER in a 3 minute amateur's Challenge competition.
SMELLY OLD LADY was savagely defeated by HEADCASE in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
BOAT JUMP was viciously butchered by SALLY CAT in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
FLAMING DR PEPPER was overpowered by MAYOR FOX in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DY-QUIL overpowered TUMBLE BELLY in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TEENAGE DAUGHTER defeated FEISTY RUFFIAN in a 2 minute gory duel.
BARBARA EDEN overpowered WASTED in a 1 minute uneven match.
CALI GOLD RUSH overpowered ATARI 2600 in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HELLVETICA beat ZALA FIREHAIR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute one-sided fray.
PARNO vanquished DEATHY POT in a 3 minute gory one-sided bout.
HOEB was vanquished by MICROMANAGEMENT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
TEMPEST overpowered THE HONEST MERCHANT in a 1 minute one-sided match.
VORA LIONEYE was luckily beaten by 24 HOUR FORT in a exciting 2 minute gory bout.
SAM LAY handily defeated EMMA STONE in a action packed 1 minute gory mismatched match.
EVOLETT unbelievably bested GREG in a 5 minute battle.
I KNOW YOU ARE outlasted REMOTE WORK in a tiresome 11 minute struggle.
DEMOLITION DOG handily defeated COMBAT in a exciting 3 minute one-sided fight.
CHAIN GANGSTER was overcome by PEPTO-ABYSMAL in a 2 minute match.
THE CAT LADY was unbelievably bested by MISSISSIPPI SHEIKS in a 2 minute gory bout.
FARMER FOX won victory over FERAL DIVA in a 2 minute bloody bout.
ENFEEBLEMENT RAY demolished WILLIAM BUCKWELL IV in a 1 minute uneven competition.
RUN AMOK savagely defeated HILDA HIPPO in a 4 minute gruesome novice's fight.
PLANTER'S PUNCH vanquished GUY WITH SHED in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
TARL handily defeated SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute mismatched duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     14         PARRY-RIPOSTE     24 -  18 -  1      57  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         TOTAL PARRY       80 -  62 -  2      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         PARRY-LUNGE       26 -  22 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         AIMED BLOW        65 -  57 -  3      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         LUNGING ATTACK    82 -  89 - 11      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         PARRY-STRIKE      33 -  38 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         SLASHING ATTACK   43 -  50 -  4      46  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         BASHING ATTACK    49 -  57 -  5      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         WALL OF STEEL     41 -  50 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         STRIKING ATTACK   26 -  39 -  2      40  |

Turn 213 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW        10 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  7         3  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        9 -  5     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  5         2  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  5         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      TEEPEETOTALER 1218         16  14  0  105 200 PROOF (87)
AIMED BLOW       DARK INEBRIATOR 1216       21   8  0  121 200 PROOF (87)
LUNGING ATTACK   BARBARA EDEN 1224          20   9  0  112 LOCAL GIRLS (88)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAYOR FOX 1179             18  14  0  111 HUCKLE'S CATS (23)
WALL OF STEEL    SPACE TOAST 1285           13   9  0   89 UNLIKELY HEROES (4)
BASHING ATTACK   BRITTNEY GRINER 1225       16  13  3   78 LOCAL GIRLS (88)
PARRY-LUNGE      TUMBLE BELLY 1183          16  15  0   65 THIRSTY THUGS (31)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DY-QUIL 1107.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SQUARE 1413.  The ten other most popular fighters were ZALA FIREHAIR 1399, COMBAT 
1332, HEADCASE 1404, CHARLIE CHARLIE 1313, TWITTER TROLL 1405, VORA LIONEYE 1300, 
WHAT'S STREAMING 1137, ORA ALEXANDER 1410, THE ACES 1277, and DAKIA WILDROSE 1159.

The least popular fighter this week was I KNOW YOU ARE 1381.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were HILDA HIPPO 1446, GUY WITH SHED 1440, WILLIAM BUCKWELL IV 1438, 
REMOTE WORK 1395, HOEB 1184, WASTED 1217, TUMBLE BELLY 1183, FLAMING DR PEPPER 1200, 
BOAT JUMP 1433, and SOOZ'R DA BOOZ'R 1409.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MAYOR FOX (20-1179) HUCKLE'S CATS (23)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

FURIOUS INHALER (20-1108) PHARMANOMICON (76)