DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/28/2004    Duedate: 05/11/2004

SUNSET ARENA

DM-21    TURN-481

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MR. TWISTER
IRONIC TAILS (484)
(21-5716) [13-7-1,124]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MR. TWISTER                    POSITION IS EMPTY
IRONIC TAILS (484)             
(21-5716) [13-7-1,124]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

HURRICANE                      LUGO BELOSKI
STORM WARNING (472)            SWORD OPERA (323)
(21-5404) [15-18-1,113]        (21-5566) [14-12-2,57]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BLACKEST PRIDE (71)         33
2. GRIM FANDANGO (454)         28      COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
3. RAGE (501)                  28      Unchartered Team
4. MEOW MIX (466)              23
5. MINISTRY OF SKA (496)       23       (-1)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)    31  17  1 64.6   1/ 1 COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)   10  5 1
 2/ 2 MEOW MIX (466)            67  41  1 62.0   2/ 2 CARNAGE CANARIES (147)    9  6 0
 3/ 4 MINISTRY OF SKA (496)     49  40  4 55.1   3/ 3 IRONIC TAILS (484)        8  7 1
 4- 3 PUDDLE OF BLOOD (500)      6   5  0 54.5   4/ 5 GRIM FANDANGO (454)       8  7 0
 5/ 6 CARNAGE CANARIES (147)   104  88  9 54.2   5/ 6 SWORD OPERA (323)         7  8 0
 6- 5 SONS OF SATAN (20)       259 220 33 54.1   6/ 4 BLACKEST PRIDE (71)       6  6 0
 7/ 9 THE BLOODBANES (474)      57  52  1 52.3   7/ 8 MINISTRY OF SKA (496)     5  3 0
 8/ 7 BLACKEST PRIDE (71)      341 312 34 52.2   8/12 RAGE (501)                5  3 0
 9/ 8 STORM WARNING (472)       85  78  4 52.1   9- 7 SONS OF SATAN (20)        5  4 0
10/10 GRIM FANDANGO (454)      155 154  4 50.2  10/11 STORM WARNING (472)       5  4 0
11/12 RAGE (501)                44  47  2 48.4  11/10 KANO CLAN (106)           3  3 0
12/11 TRANSGRESSORS (492)       98 108  5 47.6  12/ 9 THE BLOODBANES (474)      1  0 0
13/13 IRONIC TAILS (484)        56  68  6 45.2  13/14 MEOW MIX (466)            1  2 0
14/14 SWORD OPERA (323)        397 572 15 41.0  14/13 THAT 70'S TEAM (476)      1  2 0
15/15 KANO CLAN (106)          135 199  7 40.4  15/15 TRANSGRESSORS (492)       0  8 0
16/16 THAT 70'S TEAM (476)      27  44  1 38.0  16-17 PUDDLE OF BLOOD (500)     0  1 0
17-17*MATTEL'S REJECTS (508)     0   1  0  0.0  17-16*MATTEL'S REJECTS (508)    0  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Hidle dee ho, kiddies!  Quicksilver here with a rundown for you on the MOTS, the 
Manager On the Sands contest going on right now in grand old Sunset, Jewel of the 
Delarquan Federation!  Let's see what's shakin' on this here rock...looks like our 
contestants continue to get whittled down and the tail end of the race is in sight it 
would appear, but whose prize it is remains to be seen!  A three man race has 
developed at this point, with Sylvester F., Rude Buddha, and Mr. Twister all taking 
up residence in our recently depleted challenger champs.  Sylvester F. got hisself a 
beat down at the hands of departing DM Kitty Chowder on his challenge, and rumor has 
it that may be the last we'll see of him until after the summer FtF, and by then this 
race'll be over!  Rude Buddha vaults into the thick of things with a win over TP 
Rogan and positions himself nicely for a shot at the title, while Mr. Twister 
recovers from a couple losses with a gimme win over M. Chardinee.  As of now I 
calculate the PP's this way:  Sylvester's got himself 10, Mr T has 11 and Rude 
Buddha's racked up 4.  If either Sly or Twista can grab the throne for even a turn, 
they'll have it almost wrapped up!

C. Canary and Damion still hanging in there, hoping at this point for some disaster 
to strike the frontrunners as they toil away down in the adepts, while Youngblood 
maybe decides he's had enough, taking another turn off.  Word has also reached my 
ears that erstwhile manager Sensei Jan has taken her ball and run home, fleeing 
Sunset for a slow arena.  Sorry to see her go, more good teams are always welcome! So 
here's the standings:

1) Rude Buddha\Indy                                   11-3-0  98 pts
2) Sylvester F.\Frothingsloshers                       8-5-1  98 pts
3) Mr. Twister\Indy                                   12-7-0  96 pts
4) C. Canary\Indy                                      8-7-0  53 pts
5) Youngblood\The Firm                                 6-5-0  33 pts
6) Damion\Indy                                         3-4-0  26 pts

Cheers to ya, Sunset!!

Quicksilver

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                   Delarquan Edition

Valamantis:

     Ka D'Argo looked at his crew of "explorers" and shrugged.  They were a motley
bunch, drawn from several teams, managers, and arenas, people he'd found passing
through Valamantis on their way from one place to another.  Mostly from the arenas
where they were fighting--most of them were still in Basic--to some holiday spot for
a week's recreation.  Most people assumed that gladiators always stayed home,
practicing relentlessly, but that was the way to dull your edge, not improve it.  He
glanced at Arenamistress Sitalva, but she shook her head slightly.  It was his show,
apparently.
     He took a breath and began.  "You see the towers of Old Valamantis, raised by
blood sorcery."
     Everyone turned to look.
     Smeds of The Black Company, Mordant, sniffed dismissively.  "Second class
stonework," he declared.  The Dwarf's gesture took in needle-thin towers webbed
together with bridges like dreams.  "Not really stonework at all; that's built with
magic.  Was built with magic in the beginning."
     "Stupid," agreed Shamu (The Watchmen, Cliffhome).  The two Dwarves nodded at
each other.  "Unreliable.  Not like good honest stones that stay up whether you're
paying attention to them or not."
     Goblin (The Taken, Kaltos) frowned at the no-longer-ruined city.  "You mean
somebody's got to pay attention to that all the time, or it falls down?" he asked in
a voice like gravel grinding together.
     "Not EXACTLY," murmured Lavender Lance (Colour Guards, Illis).  Quickly, before
the two Dwarves could protest, she added, "In principle, yes, quite possibly.  But
nothing is EVER that simple.  What I've heard--I'm no mage, but there's always talk
of magic on Illis, you understand--is that a spell can be put into a THING, like,
well...like the sound is in a bell, maybe.  Or like the light is in a candle.  Under
the right circumstances, it comes out without anybody having to think about it right
THEN, and it keeps on existing as long as the circumstances last.  I suppose I'm
explaining that very BADLY, but--"
     "But we follow it well enough," Sputter (Joka Masher, Dwes Eg, Lord Protector)
finished.  "So there might be a THING that we could break and the towers would fall
down, hmm?"
     "Bringing the towers down again might be a good thing," Ka D'Argos interjected,
"but it won't solve the problem here, even if we could find the right spell-holders
to destroy.  That won't get rid of the people."
     "Zombies," Groblin growled contemptuously.
     "Not entirely," Sitalva said.  "We haven't gone into the old city, but we've
watched it closely, and there are some people who don't appear to be undead."
     "How can you tell?" Smeds demanded.  "Just because somebody's not falling apart
doesn't mean he isn't a NEW zombie."
     "There are live and potent Folstrom wizards in the old city," a new voice said.
The pleasant tenor seemed to come out of empty air but was quickly followed by a man
in a dark blue robe spangled with silver stars, his hair bound back from his youthful
face by a silver band.  He bowed slightly.  "Tensekai," he introduced himself, "known 
here as the Silver Mage.  Bringing down the towers without first destroying the
Folstrom would be futile, a waste of energy.  And not easy, either, as the spells
that uphold the towers are well guarded.  The important thing is that this situation,
unnatural and abominable as it is, gives us a chance to undo a great error out of the
past.  We can destroy the Folstrom this time, rather than merely driving them off."
     "Correct me if I'm wrong," Lavender Lance murmured, batting her eyelashes at the
mage, "but I HAVE read a little history.  I thought the Folstrom weren't destroyed
because it wasn't possible?  They were too strong for the Forces of Good to bring
them down completely."
     Tensekai nodded unhappily.  "That's true.  But we've had three millennia to
study further.  We have new arts and new allies to bring to the battle this time."
     "And what might the Folstrom have learned in three thousand years?" Ka D'Argos
asked.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 494): SMEDS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 495): HUSBAND of DIFFERENT HATS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 494): FRIED TWINKIE of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 490): VAPID VANNA of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 454): KATHLEEN of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): YANKEE DAN of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 380): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 373): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 494): KING'S TEN (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 495): CLASSIC BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 494): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 490): THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 454): THE FALLEN (Azrael, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 380): FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 373): BLACK PRIMER (

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
              (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           JERICO of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
               (turn 479): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
                  (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
                   (turn 329): DAWNRACER of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail to all in Sunset one final time!  I'm back on the throne for my triumphant exit 
into immortality, which is as it should be!  Enmity, you were overmatched, son.  
Interesting weapons choice, too.  Try back in a few cycles and you may be more 
worthy.  Until then, I'll try to leave you all with one last victory, preferably over 
one of our 'Managers on the Sand," and hopefully leave the throne for my good friend 
Syrano Bloodbane.  Ahh, yes, the throne, chartered recognition leader, popularity 
leader, and top team on the move, things are looking good.  Now if the Old Man can 
just get a couple worthy new recruits in here, we'll be back on our way up the 
ladder!  I salute you all, and wish you well and good luck on your quest for glory on 
the sands and the chance to live forever!!

Lord Protector Glimmor
Duelmaster of Sunset

Hey friends and neighbors, the Stikmeister here, just taking advantage of the DM 
column to blather on a bit.  Thought I'd contribute to the newsworthiness of our 
erstwhile newsletter and let you in on the dirt with Glimmor, since I won't be 
running him on the Isle for at least a good bit.  He was a tourney replacement for 
Siborr, yet another good PL rollup dead.  At graduation he looked: 11(+2)-16(+2)-8-
17-21-4-11, only did normal damage despite the ST raises.  Likes the GA (I had a 
sinking feeling it was the whiffle!), MO/VL (ran him 5-3-5 or 6-3-6 most of the 
time), learns riposte (this may get him time on the Isle).  AE init/parry, EX 
rip/def, MA attack.  Interesting factoid:  Glimmor is, if memory serves me correctly, 
the fifth waste I've graduated, which makes it the most of any style.  First warrior 
I ever got to the Isle, back in like 88 or so, was Danner Bloodbane, a waste who's 
now retired in Primus and burnt crispy.  Also graduated Stonks from The Borribles (my 
second team here back in the day), and of course Risc and Potomacc from GF of late 
here.  Strange because I don't harbor any particular love of the style and am by no 
means an expert on it, but there they are, a whole team of'em!

Things have really dropped off around here lately!  Let's see if we can pick it back 
up a little!  I encourage any inactive managers reading this to come on back home to 
Sunset and stain the sands red!  You've always got a place here!  Those already 
running, let's keep up the chatter and columns!  The MOTS contest is still going, I 
wish now that I would've put another entry in after my second death, but really too 
late now.  Looks like we'll have a winner shortly.  In any event, I raise my glass to 
you all down at the Broken Bone!  Salute to Sunset, Arena of Death and Jewel of the 
Delarquan Federation!!

Stik

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  SUNSET needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  The guys at RAGE like 
really pulled together to get a 3-0-0 this turn, moving up by 4.  What was the name 
of that team who got 3-1-0 this turn for a total 49-40-4 you ask?  (Sure)  MINISTRY 
OF SKA's their name, and fighting's their game!  MVP award for MR. TWISTER?  IRONIC 
TAILS' proud of him after beating GALE FORCE and getting 28 points.  Talk about yer 
major upsets!  LIQUID GOLIATH's match with WRATHCHILD cost him a loss of 16 points!  
The Duelmaster isn't going to stop just cause he's Number One!  RUDE BUDDHA knows 
this.  He was challenged by the Duelmaster.  This Duelmaster is like something else!  
GLIMMOR stopped RUDE BUDDHA dead in his tracks!  Who was the wiseguy that said 
SUNSET's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at Baba Yaga's Bar and Grill?  Don't look 
at me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  The warriors of BLACKEST PRIDE must be getting lonely.  They were 
the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I don't?  Hhmph!  What kind 
of warriors are CARNAGE CANARIES?  BLACKEST PRIDE, an easy team to beat if I ever saw 
one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Can MINISTRY OF SKA's RUDE BUDDHA be 
more popular than me?  He was challenged the most, but is that really the same?  Some 
fights are really unfair.  How do you think TOAD LICKER feels about being challenged 
by DRANE, 18 points above him?  A lotta people lost a lotta money in a lotta bets, 
when DRANE challenged TOAD LICKER, 18 points below and lost!  Send 'im to the Dark 
Arena!  People were asking me did INERTIA REALLY challenge RUDI JAMOS?  (all right, 
maybe they didn't, but it sounded good!) It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, 
but RUDI JAMOS wants me to write about it since he was beat by INERTIA.  Satisfied?  
UGLY FOG must not be a good enough fighter to get in fair fights.  It challenged LUGO 
BELOSKI.  9 is a big difference.  (Well, that's what they tell me.) I thought UGLY 
FOG showed great skill and promise when it won victory over LUGO BELOSKI.  All right, 
so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  What a bunch of heartless!  I couldn't believe how many people were 
snickering when MR. TWISTER killed GALE FORCE.  So she had a 16-15-0, that's no 
excuse!  MORRIS bloodfeuded (is that a word?) I SEE SOUNDS for revenge over some 
guy's bad fortune.  Was it really worth it?  Fight, fight, fight.  Is that all you 
guys can do?   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it 
quits.  I had a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MR. TWISTER 5716             13   7  1   124       IRONIC TAILS (484)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SYRANO BLOODBANE 5720        14   4  0   115       THE BLOODBANES (474)
 HURRICANE 5404               15  18  1   113       STORM WARNING (472)
 I ATE A PUTY TAT 1512        20  18  0    97       CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
 RUDE BUDDHA 5765             11   4  0    92       MINISTRY OF SKA (496)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROGAN 5755                   13  10  1    87       RAGE (501)
 EMNITY 5748                  13   4  0    84       RAGE (501)
-MAINE COON CAT 5358          12  11  0    81       MEOW MIX (466)
 RAZOR MELODY 5577            12  13  2    79       IRONIC TAILS (484)
 PERSIANA JONES 5682          10   6  0    79       MINISTRY OF SKA (496)
 INERTIA 5761                  8   3  0    79       BLACKEST PRIDE (71)
 RUDI JAMOS 5428              20  18  0    78       SWORD OPERA (323)
-RONALD REAGAN 1588           12  11  0    78       SONS OF SATAN (20)
-WILD THING 5649              17  24  1    76       TRANSGRESSORS (492)
 BELL BOTTOMS 5493            15  17  0    74       THAT 70'S TEAM (476)
-GERYON 1710                  10  10  1    74       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 UGLY FOG 5414                16  17  0    72       STORM WARNING (472)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASYLUM 5786                   7   2  1    66       BLACKEST PRIDE (71)
-MINOS 5805                    6   3  1    66       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 WRATHCHILD 5747               7  10  1    64       RAGE (501)
 C. CANARY 5766                9   7  0    62       CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
 THE HIPPY 5701                5   3  0    61       COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
 CAT KABOB 5802                7   5  1    59       CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
-SKA-BOOM 5743                 6  10  2    59       MINISTRY OF SKA (496)
 LUGO BELOSKI 5566            14  12  2    57       SWORD OPERA (323)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOAD LICKER 5830              8   1  0    56       COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
 MORRIS 5835                   3   2  0    56       MEOW MIX (466)
 I SEE SOUNDS 5704             7   3  1    54       COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
-SIMON BLOODBANE 5490          9   9  1    53       THE BLOODBANES (474)
 MIRANDA GRACE 5552            9  18  1    52       SWORD OPERA (323)
 SKULL STROKER 5590            9   8  0    49       BLACKEST PRIDE (71)
 HI-JINX 5778                  6   4  0    47       MINISTRY OF SKA (496)
 COMPACTOR 5647                9  15  2    44       TRANSGRESSORS (492)
 MINAMI KAZE 5164              7  11  0    43       KANO CLAN (106)
 DRANE 5833                    7   1  0    43       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
 LIQUID GOLIATH 5800           9   4  0    40       IRONIC TAILS (484)
 SKYDANCER 5834                5   3  0    40       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
 POISON BEAK 5827              4   6  0    40       CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
-CRACK WHORE BARBIE 5880       0   1  0    38       MATTEL'S REJECTS (508)
 AGENT 99 5840                 4   1  0    37       MINISTRY OF SKA (496)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YOUNG BLOOD 5723              6   5  0    33       PUDDLE OF BLOOD (500)
 BAD ACID 5700                 6   4  0    31       COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
 PERFERATOR 5741               4   7  0    31       TRANSGRESSORS (492)
 SLAUGHTER PRST 5781           5   5  0    30       STORM WARNING (472)
 ACE 5732                      5  14  0    29       SWORD OPERA (323)
 METARU YONA 5350              6  10  0    28       KANO CLAN (106)
 TALPER 5784                   5  10  0    28       SWORD OPERA (323)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HORNS 5770                    3   4  0    27       BLACKEST PRIDE (71)
-DAMION 5831                   3   4  0    26       SONS OF SATAN (20)
-MOMORO WA 5514                8   1  0    25       KANO CLAN (106)
 TRIPPY HIPPY 5829             5   4  0    24       COSMIC FREAK OUT (498)
 RED EYE LOVE 5832             4   5  1    24       IRONIC TAILS (484)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MUSHIKU BO 5713               5   3  0    23       KANO CLAN (106)
-MATSUDA KAO 5712              5   0  0    21       KANO CLAN (106)
-SOLOMON BLOODBANE 5475        4   8  0    20       THE BLOODBANES (474)
-MOON BEAM 5745                2   5  0    13       RAGE (501)
 BLEVINS 5900                  1   0  0    13       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
-TIGER'S TAIL 5638             1   0  0    11       MEOW MIX (466)
-SUPER FRIENDS 5757            1   0  0    11       THAT 70'S TEAM (476)
 PLAGUE OF FEATHERS 5902       1   0  0    10       CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
-SIMON COWELL 5850             1   3  0     9       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 CONTORTER 5853                0   1  0     7       TRANSGRESSORS (492)
 PLUMP FRICTION 5903           1   0  0     6       IRONIC TAILS (484)
 SQUALL 5852                   0   1  0     5       STORM WARNING (472)
-WATERGATE 5836                0   1  0     1       THAT 70'S TEAM (476)
-SUPER HOST 5758               0   1  0     1       THAT 70'S TEAM (476)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
LOOZAH 5901            0  1 0 GRIM FANDANGO 454     BANDIT PRINCE 412     481 NONE    
FANCY FEAST 5306      12  4 0 MEOW MIX 466          I SEE SOUNDS 5704     479 JUST REV
GALE FORCE 5418       16 15 0 STORM WARNING 472     MR. TWISTER 5716      481         
WRECKER 5759           1 10 0 TRANSGRESSORS 492     BLACK ORC 407         481 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Skull Stroker -- What makes you think you'll do any better after being beat? -- D. 
Beak

     Biscuit dough does.

Glimmor -- Enjoy that rematch? -- K. Chowder

Wild Thing -- Never seen anybody parry with that weapon before.  Good fight though.
-- C. Canary

Rude Buddha -- Dang!  My attempt to slow you down is back firing!  Now you're closer 
to graduating.  LOL -- C. Canary

Perferator -- I tore you apart and got 2 skills out of it.  Not bad for a free turn. 
-- C. Canary

Inertia -- One avoid especially for you.  Enjoy. -- C. Canary

The Hippy -- That's one back in the "W" column for us.  And you're most NOT welcome 
for the skills! -- Drane

Welcome Mattel's Rejects to Sunset!  Stop by the Broken Bone post fights and we'll 
try and get Crackwhore Barbie drunk and taken advantage of! -- Stik, GF and TB

Bad Acid -- You did good, bud!  But your choice of a weapon just didn't cut it 
against Kaze's armor.  If you should try again, wear some armor and dump the 
longsword.

Arenamasters of RSI -- Lugo Beloski at 54 points against Metaru Yona at 26 points!!  
Come on, people!  Who did you really expect was going to win that fight?  Geez!  You 

guys will just not abandon your insane philosophy of match-ups, will you?  When are 
you going to realize that your points system is outrageous and a complete failure?  
It doesn't work!  So, can we drop it and come up with something better please?

     Mentioning this in the newsletter does little, if any, good.  The people who
     could make changes don't read the newsletters.

     Also, a signature would help.  Or at least, not hurt.

Minos -- You're a son of Satan?  I would never have guessed.  Shouldn't you be a 
minotaur, then? -- Miranda Grace

Inertia -- Oh, yeah, I've got plenty of that! -- Rudi Jamos

Metaru Yona -- Hmm, YOU are a fast learner.  Can you teach that? -- Lugo Beloski

Trippy Hippy -- Guys like you are disgusting, you're an offense to right-thinking 
people everywhere! -- Ace
P.S.  And get a haircut!

Simon Cowell -- Looks like you have a serious problem there.  Good luck with it. -- 
Talper

Inertia -- Go choke on a fur ball.  Our beaks and talons are sharpened and at the 
ready. -- C. Canary

I See Sands -- I see a second loss for you.  Ha ha! -- C. Canary

Bell Bottoms -- Man I hated the 70s and the hippies.  One avoid for you. -- C. Canary

Skull Stroker -- Thanks for another easy win. -- C. Canary

Poison Beak -- I'm lucky you missed me with that beak of yours, cause you swinging it 
all over the place.  Good luck. -- Razor Melody

Wrathchild -- Well, in the middle of the night, sometimes you just knock on the wrong 
hotel door. -- Red Eye Love

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WRECKER was barely slain by BLACK ORC in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LOOZAH was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
MORRIS defeated I SEE SOUNDS in a 1 minute Bloodfeud duel.
GLIMMOR devastated RUDE BUDDHA in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
GALE FORCE was murdered by MR. TWISTER in a 1 minute Challenge Title competition.
SYRANO BLOODBANE viciously subdued I ATE A PUTY TAT in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
INERTIA overcame RUDI JAMOS in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ASYLUM was unbelievably bested by EMNITY in a action packed 4 minute Challenge melee.
UGLY FOG unbelievably bested LUGO BELOSKI in a 4 minute expert's Challenge fight.
COMPACTOR was savagely defeated by HI-JINX in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
POISON BEAK was overpowered by THE HIPPY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DRANE was viciously subdued by TOAD LICKER in a 2 minute bloody Challenge conflict.
PERFERATOR was subdued by MINAMI KAZE in a 3 minute bloody Challenge match.
AGENT 99 overpowered METARU YONA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
SKYDANCER savagely defeated TRIPPY HIPPY in a popular 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
SLAUGHTER PRST viciously subdued ACE in a 7 minute brutal Challenge fray.
HURRICANE devastated BELL BOTTOMS in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
RAZOR MELODY was beaten by ROGAN in a exciting 4 minute veteran's match.
PERSIANA JONES beat KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute fight.
MIRANDA GRACE handily defeated HORNS in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
SKULL STROKER was overpowered by CAT KABOB in a exciting 1 minute uneven fight.
WRATHCHILD overpowered LIQUID GOLIATH in a 1 minute uneven fray.
C. CANARY handily defeated DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BAD ACID subdued RED EYE LOVE in a 1 minute fight.
TALPER overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
CONTORTER was defeated by PLUMP FRICTION in a 4 minute novice's duel.
SQUALL was overpowered by PLAGUE OF FEATHERS in a 1 minute uneven match.
BLEVINS overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         SLASHING ATTACK   42 -  27 -  2      61  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     29 -  21 -  0      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         LUNGING ATTACK    81 -  61 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         STRIKING ATTACK   36 -  32 -  2      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  46 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  21 -  0      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         AIMED BLOW        16 -  20 -  1      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-STRIKE      14 -  24 -  0      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  42 -  1      29  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  10 -  0      23  |

Turn 481 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  6         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  MR. TWISTER 5716           13   7  1  124 IRONIC TAILS (484)
SLASHING ATTACK  SYRANO BLOODBANE 5720      14   4  0  115 THE BLOODBANES (474)
WALL OF STEEL    I ATE A PUTY TAT 1512      20  18  0   97 CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
LUNGING ATTACK   RUDE BUDDHA 5765           11   4  0   92 MINISTRY OF SKA (496)
TOTAL PARRY      ROGAN 5755                 13  10  1   87 RAGE (501)
AIMED BLOW       PERSIANA JONES 5682        10   6  0   79 MINISTRY OF SKA (496)
PARRY-STRIKE     CAT KABOB 5802              7   5  1   59 CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
BASHING ATTACK   LUGO BELOSKI 5566          14  12  2   57 SWORD OPERA (323)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HURRICANE 5404.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LUGO BELOSKI 5566.  The ten other most popular fighters were ASYLUM 5786, 
SKYDANCER 5834, SYRANO BLOODBANE 5720, RAZOR MELODY 5577, HI-JINX 5778, PERFERATOR 
5741, THE HIPPY 5701, TOAD LICKER 5830, ROGAN 5755, and PERSIANA JONES 5682.

The least popular fighter this week was ACE 5732.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LIQUID GOLIATH 5800, HORNS 5770, METARU YONA 5350, RUDI JAMOS 5428, 
GALE FORCE 5418, I SEE SOUNDS 5704, LOOZAH 5901, BLEVINS 5900, SQUALL 5852, and RED 
EYE LOVE 5832.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

GLIMMOR (21-5503) GRIM FANDANGO (454)