Date   : 11/22/2006    Duedate: 12/05/2006


DM-21    TURN-548

This Weeks Top Honors


SPORTS (497)
(21-5693) [12-6-0,110]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SWIMMING                       POSITION IS EMPTY
SPORTS (497)                   
(21-5693) [12-6-0,110]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MUSHIKU BO                     SHERWOOD
KANO CLAN (106)                LITERATE LOONS (538)
(21-5713) [14-18-0,70]         (21-6208) [10-14-0,44]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NOMADIC TRIBE (160)         64
2. PHILTHBALLS (554)           51      SPORTS (497)
3. LAKOTA (362)                24      Unchartered Team
4. FORCED VENGEANCE (542)      23
5. FEEBLE LEGION (547)         23      IN MY ROOM (545)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 SPORTS (497)              25  14  0 64.1   1/ 1 NOMADIC TRIBE (160)      11  2 0
 2/ 3 NOMADIC TRIBE (160)       47  29  0 61.8   2/ 8 LAKOTA (362)              8  1 0
 3/ 2 METAL MARVELS (548)       46  29  1 61.3   3/11*PHILTHBALLS (554)         7  8 1
 4- 4 AGE OF EMPIRE (376)       83  62  8 57.2   4/10 METAL MARVELS (548)       6  4 0
 5/ 0*IN MY ROOM (545)           4   3  1 57.1   5/ 7 GRIM FANDANGO (454)       6  7 0
 6/ 5 LAKOTA (362)             245 185 12 57.0   6/ 5 DOC LEGRAND'S AVIAN (57)  6  9 0
 7- 6 D.R.I. (536)              69  53  6 56.6   7- 6 EQUITES VIRTUS (535)      5  3 1
 8/ 7 GRIM FANDANGO (454)      340 290  8 54.0   8/ 3 LITERATE LOONS (538)      5 10 0
 9/ 8*FEEBLE LEGION (547)       15  15  2 50.0   9- 2 D.R.I. (536)              4  5 0
10-11 SONS OF SATAN (20)       344 347 40 49.8  10/14 SPORTS (497)              3  1 0
11/10 DOC LEGRAND'S AVIAN (57) 438 442 38 49.8  11/16 KANO CLAN (106)           3  4 0
12-12 EQUITES VIRTUS (535)      42  43  7 49.4  12/ 4*WARMASTERS (551)          3  8 0
13-13 NASTY MOB (456)          114 129  9 46.9  13- 9 NASTY MOB (456)           2  2 0
14/17*PHILTHBALLS (554)          7   8  1 46.7  14/18*FORCED VENGEANCE (542)    2  4 0
15/14 LITERATE LOONS (538)      55  65  5 45.8  15/15*FEEBLE LEGION (547)       2  4 0
16/ 9*WARMASTERS (551)          13  17  2 43.3  16/12*RAGING LORDS (552)        2 10 0
17-15 K.G.B. (51)               76 100  6 43.2  17-13 AGE OF EMPIRE (376)       1  0 0
18/16 KANO CLAN (106)          177 251 10 41.4  18/ 0*IN MY ROOM (545)          1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19*FORCED VENGEANCE (542)     4  10  0 28.6  19-17 SONS OF SATAN (20)        1  4 0
20/18*RAGING LORDS (552)         6  19  0 24.0  20-19 K.G.B. (51)               0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Opportunities come and go.  Such is the story of how I came to be on the throne of
Sunset.  After my unlikely Adepts TV this summer, Assur had all but closed the Sports
stable.  Sure, we were still required to do some training, but the funds to run a
full blown outfit had been shifted to Assur's other interests in Talcama.

But his eyes had not completely left the arena.  Doc Legrand's slasher was on top,
and Assur has always liked the Basher-Slasher matchup.  Thinking maybe he could take
the throne on a random matchup, we were given the opportunity to fight again.

And let me tell you, sitting on the throne is a whole lot better than waiting tables.
I may be waiting tables again soon, but for now, I will enjoy this opportunity to
once again prove myself against you all.

The future?  I believe I safely can say that I will be fighting three turns here.  If
I can win out, Assur's decision is made for him.  If I should lose one or more of
those fights, Assur will decide whether to give me a shot in the Champs tourney.  He
says I stand no chance, but he said that when he entered me into the Adepts tourney,
too.  And he wants a Champs TV badly.  I suspect if I'm not in ADM, I will fight as a
champion.  It is Assur's pattern.  He agrees with the sport's hero, Wayne Gretzky:
     "You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."


                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome SUNSET.  I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights have 
I fought here.  The celebrations, the disappointments...  Phhbltt!  Too much drinking 
and too little dodging gave WARMASTERS a 0-5-0!  I got a good laugh out of it!  Up 'n 
down.  Up 'n down.  Rankings always change.  Up 'n down.  I think I'm gonna be...  
Well, PHILTHBALLS' 3rd moved them up to 4-1-1 place.  LAKOTA showed SUNSET what they 
were made of as they fought with a vengeance to walk off with 4-1-0.  What's with 
away with 19 more points from the fight.  Try as he might, BONEDUST wasn't good 
enough at persuading SWIMMING to step down from the Duelmaster's throne...  I suppose 
you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges...  How well I know the 
feeling of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, EQUITES 
VIRTUS!  The bums at WARMASTERS couldn't face the challenges from EQUITES VIRTUS!  No 
excuse for that!  How well I know the feeling of being the most challenged warrior, 
MUSHIKU BO!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt you.  Taunt your 
opponent HART CRANE!  That was my lucky charm when I was unfairly challenged.  (and 
by 32 points!)  VOLLEYBALL should have an easy win.  VOLLEYBALL's gonna be practicin' 
hard this week, after HART CRANE, lower ranked by far, mashed it!  HAMSUN didn't 
quite know what to make of a challenge he received from BLESSED BLUEJAY of DOC 
LEGRAND'S AVIANS, who is 20 points below him.  BLESSED BLUEJAY perhaps got hers just 
desserts, seeing as she beat HAMSUN and ended up with 51 recognition points.  I hate 
going to the effort of writing about the kind of fights that CHASSIS gets in.  He 
fights people like RED ROBIN, 8 points below.  I thought CHASSIS showed great skill 
and promise when he lost to RED ROBIN.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!  
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  Who will dare fight IDONTWANNALIVE, after he returned from the 
Dark Arena?  (For the record 1-0-1 is 33, and has he points) Is it my imagination, or 
are fighters getting younger every day?  To die so young, so gloriously!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  Are you 
as tired of reading this as I am of writing it?  Actually, I guess I'm writing it 
before you read it.  Oh, well.  I don't want to overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SWIMMING 5693                12   6  0   110       SPORTS (497)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CALPURNIA 6173               10   7  1    95       EQUITES VIRTUS (535)
 HART CRANE 6207              11  13  2    92       LITERATE LOONS (538)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KHORAG 6011                  11   5  3    87       AGE OF EMPIRE (376)
-JASON 558                     9   5  1    86       K.G.B. (51)
 BONEDUST 6098                19  18  0    85       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
 SHAMAN 1706                  13   2  0    85       NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
 BLACK TIGER 1705              9   7  0    83       NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
 VOLLEYBALL 5691              12   6  0    78       SPORTS (497)
 BULGAKOV 6244                13   6  1    76       LITERATE LOONS (538)
-AZRAEL 6076                  11  15  0    73       SONS OF SATAN (20)
-MATSUDA KAO 5712             15   7  0    72       KANO CLAN (106)
-MOMORO WA 5514               20  10  0    70       KANO CLAN (106)
 MUSHIKU BO 5713              14  18  0    70       KANO CLAN (106)
 CROW BAR 6332                 9   3  0    70       METAL MARVELS (548)
 WEST WIND 5125               12   6  1    68       LAKOTA (362)
 FLAMING FLAMINGO 3570        14  11  0    67       DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (57)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VIOLENT PACIFICATION 6180    16   8  0    66       D.R.I. (536)
-CROUCHING HAMSTER 6184       13  12  1    64       D.R.I. (536)
-JACKAL 6193                   5   4  1    64       NASTY MOB (456)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLESSED BLUEJAY 3633          8   8  0    51       DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (57)
 GRAVEYARD TAN 6278           10   4  0    48       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
-VERGIL 6169                  10   8  0    48       EQUITES VIRTUS (535)
-XAPHAN 6126                   8  12  1    47       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 BAD HANDWRITING 6276          5   1  0    46       LAKOTA (362)
 NERVE RAKER 1874              9   8  0    45       NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
 SHERWOOD 6208                10  14  0    44       LITERATE LOONS (538)
 BRAVOS 6368                   4   2  0    44       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
 VINCENT 6324                  7   2  0    43       METAL MARVELS (548)
 VULGE 6260                    8   8  0    42       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
-BUBBA 626                     4   1  0    42       K.G.B. (51)
 DR. DREAM 1709                8   4  0    41       NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
 LEAD 6316                     7   5  0    40       METAL MARVELS (548)
 HAMSUN 6289                   6   8  0    40       LITERATE LOONS (538)
 GLASS CEILING 6299            5   3  1    38       FEEBLE LEGION (547)
 HADRIAN 6361                  4   2  0    38       WARMASTERS (551)
 MOLTEN METAL 6333             6  11  0    37       METAL MARVELS (548)
 VENGEFUL VULTURE 4604         5   7  0    35       DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (57)
 DOILY 6298                    5   2  0    34       FEEBLE LEGION (547)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOOLIGAN 6374                 3   2  0    33       NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
 IDONTWANNALIVE 6417           1   0  1    33       PHILTHBALLS (554)
-BUBONIC BEN 6252              6   3  0    31       NASTY MOB (456)
-QUINTUS REX 6243              4   2  2    31       EQUITES VIRTUS (535)
 CONRAD 6308                   4   8  1    31       LITERATE LOONS (538)
-JAYNA 6305                    4   2  0    30       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 ROAD RUNNER 6237              5   1  0    28       LAKOTA (362)
 MEGA ROKU 6091                4   2  2    28       KANO CLAN (106)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WILLIN POINER 571             5   7  1    27       K.G.B. (51)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GENGHIS TRON 6311             5   3  1    23       D.R.I. (536)
-DIMITRI 613                   3   5  1    23       K.G.B. (51)
 FLOOR 6287                    2   0  0    22       IN MY ROOM (545)
 BRUTUS 6360                   5   2  0    21       WARMASTERS (551)
 LURKER 6264                   3   0  0    21       FORCED VENGEANCE (542)
 THE LEPER 6400                3   0  0    20       PHILTHBALLS (554)
 TIBERIUS 6357                 2   3  1    20       WARMASTERS (551)
-KARNAX 6174                   1   1  0    20       AGE OF EMPIRE (376)
 LITTLE FLOWER 6367            2   0  0    18       LAKOTA (362)
 BLEDD 6351                    3   6  0    15       GRIM FANDANGO (454)
-BONEFACE 6372                 1   4  0    15       RAGING LORDS (552)
 MISASHI SAN 6084              4   2  0    14       KANO CLAN (106)
-VELARIA 6256                  3   3  2    14       EQUITES VIRTUS (535)
-LIGHT FIXTURE 6286            1   0  1    14       IN MY ROOM (545)
 VICTOR 6358                   2   4  1    13       WARMASTERS (551)
 GREY GROUSE 4689              2   5  0    13       DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (57)
-ATTILA 6376                   2   0  0    13       NASTY MOB (456)
-VASE 6362                     2   2  0    12       FEEBLE LEGION (547)
 SEVERO 6359                   0   6  0    12       WARMASTERS (551)
-SHAKA CONNIE 6381             2   2  0    10       D.R.I. (536)
 RED ROBIN 6413                1   1  0    10       DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (57)
-DRIVE BY SAMURI 6390          1   0  0    10       D.R.I. (536)
 NETHERBORN 6407               1   0  0    10       FORCED VENGEANCE (542)
 SUNSHINE 6414                 1   0  0    10       LAKOTA (362)
 BLOODLUST 6402                2   1  0     9       PHILTHBALLS (554)
-FRED 627                      1   4  0     7       K.G.B. (51)
-ZAN 6304                      1   4  0     7       SONS OF SATAN (20)
 SILVERBLEED 6379              0   1  0     7       FORCED VENGEANCE (542)
-CICERO 6262                   1   3  0     6       EQUITES VIRTUS (535)
 CHASSIS 6375                  1   3  0     6       METAL MARVELS (548)
 DARLA 6416                    1   0  0     6       PHILTHBALLS (554)
-GLEEK 6314                    0   4  0     5       SONS OF SATAN (20)
-WINDOW 6288                   1   1  0     4       IN MY ROOM (545)
 LACE 6404                     0   1  0     3       FEEBLE LEGION (547)
-RAGING BULL 6386              0   2  0     2       RAGING LORDS (552)
 SYENDRAD 6406                 0   1  0     1       FORCED VENGEANCE (542)
-GRIMLORD 6412                 0   1  0     1       RAGING LORDS (552)
 WICCAN 6415                   0   1  0     1       PHILTHBALLS (554)
-MOLECULES 6285                0   1  0     1       IN MY ROOM (545)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
SHEWISH GIANT 408      0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          IDONTWANNALIVE 6417   548 NONE    
FORGET IT 6405         0  1 0 FEEBLE LEGION 547     ARENAMASTER HARTH 410 548 NONE    
GANG BANGER 6364       1  2 0 NASTY MOB 456         VICTOR 6358           544 NOT REVE
CRAZYSKULL 6369        3  3 0 RAGING LORDS 552      QUICKSILVER 406       548 NONE    
THE OLD COBBLER 6385   0  3 0 RAGING LORDS 552      SHEWISH GIANT 408     548 NONE    
SNAKELIP 6370          0  3 0 RAGING LORDS 552      GENGHIS TRON 6311     545 REVENGED
HATCHETFACE 6398       0  1 0 RAGING LORDS 552      VELARIA 6256          546         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

But I like my cage! -- Grey Grouse

Bad news dude, Doc LeGrand likes to use the clone tank in sessions, with the Cardinal
down, I bet you are next. -- Blessed Bluejay

How can a chartered team lead Sunset with no kills?!  The tiddly-winks Sports Team at
24-13-0-.649?!  Is this the allegedly deadly Delarquan Sunset or a closet namby-pamby
Andorian happy hole? -- Sir Steel

Matsudo Kao -- You lucky, lazy tortoise shell!  Next time you will become my turtle
soup for lunch. -- Crow Bar

Mr. Stik -- Sunset has a high kill ratio?  Oh?  Then where are all the deaths?  Can
an Andorian Sports team run Sunset?  Deaths?  Check out Ardivent, The Arena Of The
Red Sands, (yes, it is in namby-pamby Andoria) where more blood is spilt that in this
sunny PG-rated Sunset.  Bah, Humbug! -- Sir Steel

Mr. Doc LeGrand and Cunning Prince -- It is true that I had 10 arena fights and 39
Tournament fights pre Mailer.  It is also true that one of my very favorite moments
was showing your prince that he was a worthless old-timer.  I am only sorry that I
missed the kill. -- Juniper, proud and talented sandbagger extraordinaire

What?!  Guardian is trying to shut down this and other arenas?  What a bum!  Come on
out and fight, Bully Boy. -- Sir Steel

An offering of Mailer luck from all the Con Knights -- "May all your warriors sent
have been killed". -- Sir Steel

Stik -- Rumor has it that some of the ladies in Chimlevtal thought you looked quite
formidable with your panties in a bunch.  Were you exhibiting that golden longsword
again? -- Sir Steel

Bravos and Stik -- Not only did I know it was coming, but I fully and completely
deserved it.  You Cads! -- Lead (feeling very malleable)

Grey Grouse -- It is always a pleasure to take one of Doc's down to size. -- Sir
Steel (for Chassis)

Mushiku Bo -- Nasty, nasty challenging me like that.  But, thanks for the win, Mumble
Jumble. -- Crow Bar

Doc -- Thank you for the advertisement in the form of a DM Column. (yawn) -- Sir

Flamingo -- (A turn late, but...) The oldest Duelmaster ever?  In Sunset maybe, but
probably not anywhere.  Another of Nomad's warriors, Marshal from Bonsur, just
graduated to AD after having held the throne for a couple of turns.  He fought his
first fight in June of '90.  Red Lance, another Sentinel from Bonsur, hopes to claim
the throne there soon and his first fight was on turn 78 of that fair city--March of
'88.  14 years away from the game can have some interesting consequences. -- Shaman,
acting historian for Nomad

Vincent -- Interesting weapon choice.  Not very effective, but interesting. -- Raker

Jackal -- After all the effort I went through to challenge, defeat and teach you, and
yet you teach me nothing?  It almost seems as if you were ungrateful!  I'm very
disappointed. -- Shaman

Hooligan!  Hooligan!  Now where did that troublemaker go?  AWOL.  He was supposed to
fight.  I've never had a warrior oversleep his fight before.  Unbelievable! -- Nomad

Vergil -- Now that was fun!  Tiring, but fun. -- Black Tiger

Zan -- I think you are supposed to actually hit someone with that thing your holding.
You know, like what I did to you.  That was fun. -- Dream

Wow.  Cordial Cardinal, Zero and Dark Sky all die in one tournament.  A harsh day for
Sunset.  Congrats to Bad Handwriting for upholding some of the cities honor. -- Nomad

Assur and Sports -- Welcome back, congrats on the throne!  Stay a while, the place
grows on you. -- Stik

Damion -- Same to you!  Care to take up my "Race to 400" challenge yet?  I'm almost
caught up to you... -- Stik

K.G.B. -- Welcome back to you too, Comrade!!  Nice to see another double digit team
number showing up in town!  I used to run the Cripplers here back in the early years,
Grim Fandango now.  Stop by the Broken Bone, it's still open, drinks on us tonight
post-fights! -- Stik and G.F.

Doc L. -- Thanks for the informative column.  Keep your chin up, tourney wise, it
will improve as you shake the rust off! -- Stik

Violent P. -- Yep, still my weeyatch.  I needed that to get back into the C.C.'s,
thanks! -- Bonedust

Hamsun -- Damnit, you keep coming out faster than we think.  Appreciate the skills,
anyhow. -- Bravos

The Leper -- (disgustedly) Well, scratch that weapon off the faves list,
unfortunately.  Beginner's luck! -- Bledd

All -- Well, not much of a tourney for us, looks like.  Congrats to our one TV,
Shaman's Bad Handwriting, well fought! -- Stik and G.F.

Doc Legrand -- I feel for you, my friend.  Tournaments are pretty much for the elite
of the elite.  The game was not originally designed for ADM and 20 years of
development on a single warrior.  Not surprisingly, the game is not balanced.  Add in
tourney prizes and freaks, and Primus is a joke.  However, the game is still fun and
even though warrior generation and strategy have become a science to some, that
little thing called luck makes the game fun for me.  And not everyone who runs
warriors has the standards of The Muffin Man.  I hope you don't grow so discouraged
in your return that you leave us again!  You bring a lot to this game.  See you on
the sands. -- Assur
P.S.  I trust you to realize that my taking the throne was more about style matchup
(and yes, I intentionally returned with your slasher on the throne, hoping for the
mismatch) than my warriors being uber godling Tourney warriors.  Both my bashers here
are good, but they would never have seen the light of day under a tourney manager's

Stik -- Nice name, feeble one.  My counterpart and I have come to conquer this
repulsive arena and it appears you are at the top of our scroll.  I will not say who
he is, but he is raging to kill your whole outfit.  I didn't ask for a welcome,
especially from someone as unknown as you, ye of little intelligence.  Go find
another arena to play with your tenure here is through, pus brain. -- Philthy Phil,
mgr. Philthballs and ninth in command of the Allied Axis

     Phil -- You do realize that you're trying to have it both ways, don't you? --

General Ikillu -- I do not believe my sack of oranges can fight back the scurvy in
this sorry city. -- Philthy

Doc Le Moron -- You're at the top of my long list, freak boy. -- Philthy Phil,
filthiest man...need I stik more.
P.S.  That's sense of smell uneducated one.

     Phil -- A nice hot bath, with plenty of soap, will take care of the smell for
     you. -- NAIEI, the ever helpful

Ed. -- could we get a team/manager list printed, please?  Thanks. -- Stik

     Here's what I have.  These are teams listed in last turn's newsletter.  I'm
     still recovering from the chaos in my lists, so any corrections are welcome! --
     The Saint, keeper of lists
     AGE OF EMPIRE          Doc Steele            LITERATE LOONS   Sherman
     D.R.I.                 Var                   METAL MARVELS    Sir Steel
     DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS   Doc LeGrand           NASTY MOB        Papa Bear
     EQUITES VIRTUS         Dark Knight Toker     NOMADIC TRIBE    Nomad
     FEEBLE LEGION          Seraphim              PHILTHBALLS      Philthy Phil
     FORCED VENGEANCE       Rosebud               RAGING LORDS     ?
     GRIM FANDANGO          Stik                  SONS OF SATAN    Damion
     K.G.B.                 ?                     SPORTS           Assurnasirbanipal
     KANO CLAN              Doc Miracle           WARMASTERS       Vanek
     LAKOTA                 Shaman

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CRAZYSKULL was dealt death by QUICKSILVER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
THE OLD COBBLER was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
IDONTWANNALIVE murdered SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
FORGET IT was butchered by ARENAMASTER HARTH in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
VOLLEYBALL was defeated by HART CRANE in a 1 minute master's Challenge match.
BLACK TIGER vanquished FLAMING FLAMINGO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MOLTEN METAL was beaten by BAD HANDWRITING in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
VULGE was handily defeated by MUSHIKU BO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
VINCENT outwaited DOILY in a crowd boring 7 minute Challenge duel.
BLESSED BLUEJAY won victory over HAMSUN in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
BRUTUS was vanquished by BRAVOS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
HOOLIGAN overpowered MISASHI SAN in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
LITTLE FLOWER luckily beat VICTOR in a 2 minute Challenge match.
THE LEPER bested GREY GROUSE in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.
CHASSIS was bested by RED ROBIN in a 4 minute novice's Challenge battle.
SWIMMING overpowered BONEDUST in a popular 1 minute mismatched Title conflict.
BULGAKOV was narrowly defeated by SHAMAN in a action packed 8 minute struggle.
CROW BAR handily defeated NERVE RAKER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
WEST WIND devastated VENGEFUL VULTURE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HADRIAN was beaten by GRAVEYARD TAN in a 4 minute match.
SHERWOOD was narrowly defeated by DR. DREAM in a exciting 7 minute bout.
GLASS CEILING savagely defeated ROAD RUNNER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute conflict.
LEAD beat MEGA ROKU in a 2 minute fight.
TIBERIUS lost to CONRAD in a 2 minute match.
SEVERO was savagely defeated by LURKER in a action packed 1 minute gruesome fray.
BLEDD was devastated by FLOOR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BLOODLUST luckily beat SYENDRAD in a exciting 2 minute beginner's fight.
LACE was savagely defeated by DARLA in a 2 minute gory novice's duel.
SILVERBLEED was demolished by SUNSHINE in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
NETHERBORN vanquished WICCAN in a 1 minute one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         TOTAL PARRY       34 -  16 -  0      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         AIMED BLOW        18 -  13 -  1      58  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  23 -  1      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  14 -  0      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  26 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         STRIKING ATTACK   29 -  37 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         LUNGING ATTACK    42 -  54 -  3      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -  20 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  22 -  1      42  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   26 -  37 -  1      41  |

Turn 548 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  7         3  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  5         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   SWIMMING 5693              12   6  0  110 SPORTS (497)
SLASHING ATTACK  BONEDUST 6098              19  18  0   85 GRIM FANDANGO (454)
TOTAL PARRY      SHAMAN 1706                13   2  0   85 NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
STRIKING ATTACK  BLACK TIGER 1705            9   7  0   83 NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
WALL OF STEEL    BULGAKOV 6244              13   6  1   76 LITERATE LOONS (538)
PARRY-LUNGE      GRAVEYARD TAN 6278         10   4  0   48 GRIM FANDANGO (454)
AIMED BLOW       BRAVOS 6368                 4   2  0   44 GRIM FANDANGO (454)
PARRY-STRIKE     DR. DREAM 1709              8   4  0   41 NOMADIC TRIBE (160)
LUNGING ATTACK   GLASS CEILING 6299          5   3  1   38 FEEBLE LEGION (547)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HADRIAN 6361                4   2  0   38 WARMASTERS (551)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MUSHIKU BO 5713.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SHERWOOD 6208.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHASSIS 6375, BULGAKOV 
ROKU 6091, VICTOR 6358, GREY GROUSE 4689, and SWIMMING 5693.

The least popular fighter this week was VINCENT 6324.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were WICCAN 6415, SILVERBLEED 6379, LACE 6404, BLEDD 6351, SEVERO 6359, ROAD