Date   : 10/08/2003    Duedate: 10/21/2003


DM-22    TURN-466

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6012) [15-2-0,157]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
(22-6012) [15-2-0,157]         (22-5976) [4-1-1,46]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MORGAN                         WOF-A-MIT
WOMEN OF REALITY (669)         ROCK ETTS (595)
(22-5915) [13-13-1,83]         (22-5639) [19-17-0,100]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SERPENTINE INC. (85)        31
2. ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)        27      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. THE REPUBLICANS (103)       24      Unchartered Team
4. THE ZOO (205)               23
5. BREMEN SIX DAY (678)        224-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   2   0  0  100   1/ 2 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     11  4 1
 2/ 2*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)       5   2  1 71.4   2/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     9  5 1
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     63  35  3 64.3   3/ 1 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       9  6 0
 4/ 4 ROCK ETTS (595)          396 273  7 59.2   4/ 6 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    8  3 0
 5/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    103  74  6 58.2   5/ 4 THE ZOO (205)             7  8 0
 6/ 0*SAVAGE HEARTS (358)        9   7  2 56.3   6/ 9 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     6  4 0
 7/ 6 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     119  93  6 56.1   7/ 5 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     6  9 1
 8/ 7 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    97  86  2 53.0   8/ 7 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      6  9 0
 9/ 8 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    296 276 23 51.7   9- 8*DUNCES UNITED (687)       3  7 1
10/ 9 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       93  89  7 51.1  10/11 ROCK ETTS (595)           3  8 0
11/11 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      43  44  1 49.4  11/12*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  2  0 0
12/10 OLD MCDONALD (621)       253 263 13 49.0  12/13*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)      2  1 1
13-12 SWEET MARINES (325)       91 111  5 45.0  13/ 0*SAVAGE HEARTS (358)       1  4 1
14/13 THE ZOO (205)            319 409  4 43.8  14/10 OLD MCDONALD (621)        1  8 1
15-14*DUNCES UNITED (687)       10  20  3 33.3  15-14 SWEET MARINES (325)       0  2 0
16/ 0*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)   0   1  0  0.0  16/ 0*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)  0  1 0
17/ 0*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)     0   1  0  0.0  17/ 0*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)    0  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #119 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Karanjal of Zorpunt held the invitation to adventure while Daisy January swung
the hammer with more determination than skill.  He would have felt safer if HE had
been the one with the hammer, but there was no arguing with a determined woman who
didn't want to listen.  But if "safe" had been something that really mattered to him,
he'd never have become a gladiator.
     "You really expect someone to respond to this...invitation to disaster?" he
     "Not anyone with YOUR attitude.  It's an invitation to ADVENTURE.  To explore
the whole issue of why Krael is attacking coastal towns.  And yes," Daisy said
calmly, "I DO expect people to respond."  She glanced over her shoulder at him, then
stepped away from the wall.  "You should know how bored warriors can get on the Isle,
after all.
     Karanjal shrugged, but he could hardly argue with that.  "You'd better have a
definite plan," he warned her.
     "I do.  I'll tell you about it over lunch."  She set off briskly toward a small
cafe the gladiators in Tobir favored.
     "Tell me while we walk," he suggested.  "I can't bear to wait that long."
     "Ha ha.  Like this was some huge city that it would take more than ten minutes
to walk across."  She frowned straight ahead, then shrugged slightly.  "Okay.  This
won't be the first time gladiators have investigated Krael, you know.  There was a
group from Point and Iaye that set out to do that several years ago--"
     "I don't think I ever heard of that," Karanjal admitted.  "What happened?"
     "It was hard to find out."  She ducked under the awning that protected the front
of the cafe and made for a booth against the far wall.  When Karanjal slid in across
from her, she said, "I had a hard time finding any information about it--"  To the
waiter she said, "Pizza with everything, I don't want to piss off the pizza guys."
     Her companion frowned.  "Is this a joke?"
     "Hey, the Pizza Guys here in Tobir carry swords!  I don't want them mad at me!"
     "If you say so.  What about Krael?"
     "I did manage to find one of the gladiators that went on that expedition, and he
said--well, he said a lot of stuff, but the important thing was that some kind of
time shift occurred, and when they came back to OUR time from the last days of Krael,
someone from then came too."
     "Oh...shoot," Karanjal said softly.  "I don't like where I think this is going.
There were a lot of wizards in Krael, especially in the 'last days'.  If one of THEM
came to our time...."
     "Exactly.  Quite a possible adventure, don't you think?"

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #16 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Possibly Zuwayza:

     It seemed to take Tankesh forever to fall out of the Gate, his motion slowed to
the point where he wasn't even sure he was moving at all.  And then there was a sort
of soundless click, and the floor came up fast and hard, knocking the breath out of
him as he hit and rolled.
     Voices speaking akkhadic, upper-class accents.  Shouting.  No time to sort
things out.  Gasping for breath but too well-trained to pause, he rolled to his feet
with his sword out, ending crouched and ready for anything.  By the grace of all the
gods, he was face to face with the Karnhorn vizier, Khannarth.  The man who had
betrayed his city and his ruler, plotted with the Satrap's First Wife to turn over
the Zuwayza to the minions of Inzolas, tried to have the Satrap's Second Wife and
Tankesh killed.....  Ah, it was GOOD to be here, now, and ready.
     The Vizier was looking past him and commanding someone to "get him!"
     Right, voices, plural.  Other people in the room.  Probably guards.  Tankesh
took a quick slash at the retreating Vizier; not a killing blow, but he felt the
resistance of clothing and flesh.  Continued the motion into a turn.  Right, guards.
Two...three.  Startled by his arrival out of nowhere, not expecting him to come
around so fast.  The first man would never have a chance to adjust his thinking; the
slash aimed at HIM gutted him and nearly cut him in two.  The second was a little
farther back.  He might recover, if he got the bleeding stopped in time.  But with
only one hand left to use, that wasn't likely.  Shocked by the unexpected and extreme
violence, he was out of the fight.  Khannarth was screaming orders behind him, and
the third man was leveling his spear for a charge.  Stupid weapon to carry indoors,
maybe it was tradition, maybe it was just ornamental, didn't matter.
     Tankesh edged to the right, drawing the spearman's attention with him.  When the
man was fully committed, all his momentum focused into the charge, Tankesh ducked to
the left.  Tripped over his first victim but rolled and came up again, whacked the
spear in two in passing, kicked the man in the belly as his charge brought him within 
range, and turned to face Khannarth again.
     The Vizier was holding his robes against a bleeding chest wound with one hand
and tugging on a bell-pull with the other.  Tankesh lunged closer and cut through
bell rope.
     And then froze as a man with a cocked and ready crossbow appeared in the doorway
behind the Vizier.  More than one man, and several with crossbows.  Karnhorns, of
course.  Damn.  They were all dressed alike, no doubt a uniform, but not the same as
worn by the three guards he'd just dealt with.  Khannarth began babbling out
accusations and orders.
     The first of the newcomers silenced him with a curt word.  "You will BOTH
explain yourself to the Exalted Satrap, may His justice be swift and sure," the man
said.  He gestured them out into the hallway with his crossbow.  "Now."

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Gather 'round, gather 'round.  Don't be shy.  The fire is warm and cozy and the
keg has just been tapped.  Help yourself.  The leaves are just starting to fall, and
I know you all can feel the crisp fall air calling out "tourney time, tourney time."
Your humble Duelmaster, Homeless Prince, here for yet another biweekly fireside chat.
     Old business first.  Sorry Al, but Gary Condit put up just the amount of fight I
was hoping for.  I was really hoping he would teach me a bit more, but, ah well, I
suppose bashers only know so much.  Kudos last turn go out to Monty Python for his
decisive victory over Pishtush.  That is a great win in my book.  Good enough to
deserve a shot at the title?  You'll just have to read on a bit to find out.  This
week's Boos and Hisses go out to, how ironically, Hiss.  Can you fight anyone but
Platinum?  I am starting to wonder.  Lastly, on the topic of old business, did you
notice Conspiracy Inc. showing up out of nowhere?  Welcome back to the arena!  Too
bad it looks like Edwin Meese just mistimed the upcoming tourney.  Maybe some of your
other warriors are better timed.
     On to the new business.  This week's avoids look a little different than the
past few weeks.  One goes out to Serpentine Inc. on the strong showing of Snake in
the Grass (Ok, beating Turkey Joe isn't that strong, but it sounds good) and
especially Monty Python.  Hopefully I will graduate and be gone before I have to
dance with either of you two.  The other avoid goes out to that new wildcard of a
team, Conspiracy Inc.  Luckily Pishtush dropped down out of the CC's, or I would have
had a bit of a dilemma.
     Of course, if there are avoids, there are challenges!  This weeks TV challenge
goes out to...How--Lite.  Sorry How--Lite, if you are not avoiding, you should be.
The rest of the CC's are looking mighty tough these days.  A graduating (sandbagged?)
lunger, another lunger who did well in the same tourney as me last time, a PR who
kicked major butt last turn, just to name a few.  That only leaves Judge's guy
(never, in a million years will you get a shot at the throne if we can help it), and
a few bashers.  Hate to pick on you again How--Lite, but the choices are slim....
Hopefully the results will be the same as last time.
     Well, this turn is a big one for me.  If I win, I tie the record for most
consecutive turns as Duelmaster, with five.  I am thinking I will be outta here with
20 fights, so I don't have much time left to sit on this throne.  Gotta make the most
of it.  Who knows, with a little luck, six or seven turns as DM is not out of the
question.  Well Solven, gotta run.  And how's this for a change, instead of shout
out's to all the things that make this a great arena, how about a short list of what
really irks me.
1)  People who sign their name to personal ads, who we have no idea who they are.  Is
    it so hard to sign your team name after your manager name if it is not obvious
    (like Andorian Wimps being run by Wimpy)?
2)  People whining about downchallenging.  It is part of the game.  Be a man like
    Judge said, and do something about it.  Nothing is stopping you from doing the
3)  Serpentine Inc. getting a free pass from the verbal abuse from the arena on down-
    challenging just because they don't talk in the personal ads.
4)  Wimpy, and that knife in my back.
5)  The Democrats having such a darn good run lately...
     Well, that is enough for now.  Looking forward to this little chat with you all
again next turn. -- Homeless Prince

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of SOLVEN!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, 
Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Former top team THE DEMOCRATS was unseated 
this week as SERPENTINE INC. moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot with a 
4-1-0 record for the round.  Fortune did not smile upon OLD MCDONALD this time out 
who this turn suffered a fall into 14th position in the wake of a 0-4-0 round.  
Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness how this week 
CONSPIRACY INC. went 3-2-0 to move up 3 in the rankings.  My praise to SERPENTINE 
INC. for their 4-1-0 week this time out.  Indeed, it was a skillfully fought round 
deserving of notice!  BEAR MARKET caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as she skillfully bested ROBERT BORK and was awarded 25 points in 
recognition.  Most watched of the fights this week, the spotlight was on HOW--LITE as 
she bore arms against the TV challenge of reigning Duelmaster HOMELESS PRINCE.  
Although HOW--LITE made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to topple the reign of 
victorious HOMELESS PRINCE.  Heed this!  A seer has warned that if exactly 6 die in 
duels this week, the whole city shall perish!  Just remember...5 or 7!   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In SOLVEN "art" is a word that has 
long since passed from the language!  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when 
this week's challenge seeking began.  KELLUMBO'S KIDS is feared.  This much I can 
say.  Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that spent the better 
part of last week avoiding KELLUMBO'S KIDS.  Indeed it was THE REPUBLICANS.  Loose 
talk at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many 
fighters are after ROBERT BYRD.  Watch your back!  A match that raised a few eyebrows 
at the games this week, it seems that JUDITH posted a challenge against the more 
highly recognized JFK.  The results, you ask?  Well, the firebrand JUDITH won victory 
over JFK.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel.  I can not but mention 
with disdain the name of HISS who this week posted a TV challenge to a warrior a full 
14 points below in the rankings.  I thought HISS showed great skill and promise when 
it defeated PLATINUM.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Some guilds are strict but few are as heartless as 
SAVAGE HEARTS.  Witness, last turn they sent TERMINATOR, a 2-0-0 fighter, to the Dark 
Arena!  Was I the only one shocked to see the well respected fighter PREDATOR (2-0-0) 
appear on the sands of the Dark Arena?  It is now dead.  ALIEN has sworn to take up 
religion upon living to tell of its recent bout with the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare 
thing indeed!  Perhaps even the strong cannot escape the vagaries of this world.  
This week arena veteran BLIND BOY was slain, despite a 6-4-0 record.  Some say a 
warrior is judged by the way he bears arms.  One thing is sure, better a dagger in 
hand then a sword on the belt!   
     The girls are as pretty in SOLVEN as ever I remembered them....and the fighters 
as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till we meet 
again, remember:  a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a 
lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOMELESS PRINCE 6012         15   2  0   157       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUANTANAMO BAY 5826          22  18  0   145       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MONTY PYTHON 5939            16   6  0   121       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952      15   4  0   111       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 JUDITH 5832                  21  17  0   108       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 EDWIN MEESE 828              23  15  4   100       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 WOF-A-MIT 5639               19  17  0   100       ROCK ETTS (595)
 BEAR MARKET 6010              8   9  1   100       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 HOW--LITE 5635               21  16  1    96       ROCK ETTS (595)
 PISHTUSH 5651                15   3  0    91       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JFK 1660                     18  18  1    87       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 TOYS 5679                    19  24  5    86       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 JUSTICE 5949                 14   8  0    84       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             13  16  1    84       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 BISCUIT 5678                 20  22  1    83       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 MORGAN 5915                  13  13  1    83       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 DARKLE 5709                  10   3  0    83       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 16   3  3    80       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              16  28  0    80       THE ZOO (205)
 ROBERT BYRD 6039              7   4  0    80       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13   9  1    78       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 LEE 5831                     14  23  0    72       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 HISS 6017                    12   1  0    70       SERPENTINE INC. (85)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           14  23  1    66       THE ZOO (205)
 SKEEMER 5965                 12   8  0    57       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAT TAX 5998                 8  10  0    55       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 PLATINUM 5677                 9  21  1    54       ROCK ETTS (595)
 MCGRORY 5976                  4   1  1    46       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
 RUMSFELD 6032                 4   8  0    46       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 BLIND GIRL 6041               9   1  0    44       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708              7   4  0    44       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-RECON ROSE 5293               7   8  0    44       SWEET MARINES (325)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           4   5  1    37       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MACRIBSI 6024                 6   4  0    34       OLD MCDONALD (621)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DIDILY SQUAT 6066             4   2  0    33       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 ALIEN 3265                    2   1  1    33       SAVAGE HEARTS (358)
-MAJOR DAISY 5943              7   3  0    31       SWEET MARINES (325)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-IGNATIUS 6092                 1   0  0    23       DUNCES UNITED (687)
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             3   1  0    22       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 ZELORA 6068                   3   2  0    22       THE ZOO (205)
 GARDEN GNOME 6095             2   0  0    20       THE ZOO (205)
 BARB 6060                     3   3  0    19       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 RATTLER 6075                  2   1  1    19       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 SHUX 5788                     2   0  0    17       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
-NONSENTIA 6062                2   4  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DORKUS MAJORUS 6074           2   2  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)
-SIMPLISSITUS 6061             2   4  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)
 VENOM 6059                    2   4  0    10       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 MARIE 6077                    2   0  0    10       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 ELAINE CHAO 6104              1   0  0    10       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 BORENSEN 6091                 0   1  0     9       BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)
 SAVAGE DRAGON 3263            2   2  0     8       SAVAGE HEARTS (358)
 SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
-COLONEL HUGS 6000             1   3  1     8       SWEET MARINES (325)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           1   0  0     5       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-NOTHSTEIN 5977                1   1  0     4       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
 SNARF 6093                    0   2  0     2       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 NERF 6105                     0   1  0     1       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
-PRIVATE ROOM 6086             0   1  0     1       SWEET MARINES (325)
 STAEL 6071                    0   1  0     1       WAY OF THE SWORD C5 (688)
 GIREFFY 6102                  0   1  0     1       THE ZOO (205)
-PRIVATE KISS 6085             0   1  0     1       SWEET MARINES (325)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
KORGE, SHEWISH GI 404  0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          ALIEN 3265            466 NONE    
DEMENTIA 6067          2  2 0 DUNCES UNITED 687     RATTLER 6075          464 REVENGED
BLIND BOY 6042         6  4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   MCGRORY 5976          466         
MISTER SINISTER 3266   1  2 1 SAVAGE HEARTS 358     STONE GOLEM 409       466 NONE    
TERMINATOR 3262        2  1 0 SAVAGE HEARTS 358     WURM KIN 410          466 NONE    
PREDATOR 3264          2  1 0 SAVAGE HEARTS 358     MOUNTAIN TROLL 401    466 NONE    
INARINDA 5913          8 21 1 THE ZOO 205           MAXIMUS 5966          465         
VILMA 6040             3  6 0 THE ZOO 205           SCHWARZENEGGER 6050   464         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Shux -- A curse on you.  Also a pox. -- Snarf

Monty Python -- Boy, after the workout you gave me, I believe that you are the Full
Monty. -- Pishtush

Flat Tax -- It would have been nice if you could have taught a few skills to your
manager's TOGS partner's fighter.  Say again? -- Darkle

Dorkus Majorus -- While it doesn't mean <my name> to me but Wimpy thinks you belong
on the Wimps.  Your name and lack of talent are two of the reasons he thinks so. --
Didily Squat

All -- I guess I should have included Serpentine in the love note I sent to Killumbo
last turn.  Down 7 and 27 even surpasses what Killumbo can do.  You guys are sure
strange.  A little like Miami challenging The Little Sisters of the Poor.  Really
honorable. -- Wimpy

Rude Buddha -- Scare you?  I don't even know who you are.  And for that matter, I
think everyone in the arena should fight how they want.  I certainly wouldn't get in
your way.  Unless you happened to be challenging me...then that is a different story.
Happy hunting. -- Detective Kellumbo

Schwarzenegger -- Ah, but you made that close.  Too many more fights like that and
the Blind Twins won't stand a chance.  Gotta get you while I can. -- DK

Kangaroo Kate -- Why did you have to go and get my hopes up like that, getting
desperate and all?  Maybe next time. -- Blind Boy

Ghost of Inarinda -- Sorry about that.  Maximus seems to have a certain bloodlust to
him.  I hope her replacement is more to your liking. -- Detective Kullumbo

Wimpy -- There is an old saying:  Don't insult the alligator until after you have
crossed the bridge.  How convenient of you to lay the verbal smackdown just before
you are getting ready to leave.  I at least thought you had enough guts to say what
you thought all along, and not wait until you are getting ready to run out of the
arena.  Good thing for you, because if you stick around, you just jumped way to the
top of the list of people whose ass I am going to kick. -- Kellumbo

With all the hate talk of me lately, has anyone else noticed the challenging
tendencies of Serpentine Inc., or is it OK because they are quiet in the arena? -- DK

Judge -- Hey, check it out, the Blind Twins both challenged UP last turn.  At this
rate I only need about 9 months or so to come out even. :) -- Kellumbo

Snake in the Grass -- I hope you fare better than a distant colleague of mine who
shared your, er, inspiration.  I refer to the late and lamented N.D. Grasse of Punny
Animals in Willaf.  He was game but somebody scotched him.  Why the should do that
rather than, for instance, Irish him, I don't know, but so it was. -- Turkey Joe,
just rambling
P.S.  I never beg for mercy in the autumn.  Don't want to draw attention to myself,
you know.  It's a risky season.

Blind Boy -- "See" that you mind your manners, boy, or next time I won't whisper
skills in your flapping ears. -- Kangaroo Kate

Maximus -- Heck. -- Ghost of Inarinda
P.S.  There's too much death going around lately.

Sandstone -- Us gnomes have no trouble with sandstone.  An easy job.  Granite, now,
is another matter. -- Garden Gnome

Robyn -- I was, er, trying to make you red-breasted.  Yeah, that was it, just a
sartorial statement. -- Zelora

Rude Buddha -- It's possible to have a lot of fun while lying down. -- Zelora

How-Lite -- Speed versus speed.  I feel lucky to have won. -- Guantanamo Bay

Darkle -- Good fight, and good victory.  You made Wimpy proud. -- Flat Tax

The Zoo -- Our condolences to Inarinda.  She was executed by a cancer in our arena.
-- The Republicans
P.S.  Sorry about Vilma two turns ago.  Schwarzenegger got confused and thought you
were Gray Davis' wife.

Bear Market -- I call that victory the "Running of the Bulls." -- Justice

Wimpy -- Don't leave before getting your pound of flesh.  You have support here, use
it. -- Al Gore

Dorkus -- That was a good fight though. -- Nancy Pelosi

Justice -- Good matchup.  See you around. -- B.M.

Mcgrory -- No perfect record for you.  Ha ha!  Thanks for the skills also. -- Al Gore

Lee -- Awesome fight!  If Byrd was as smart as he is old he would have pulled his
backup and won.  Maybe next time. -- Al Gore

Conspiracy Inc. -- Welcome back! -- Al Gore

Welcome to the new teams!  Fight well and often. -- Al Gore

9 September 2003
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MANAGERS!  If you think you have what it takes to match
wits and blades with some of the best managers in Alastari, then WE WANT YOU!  The
Tournament Of The Golden Scrod #4 will begin in Aradi (DM 60) the turn after the Fall
Mail-In.  It's not too late for you to sign up.  I realize that many of you may be
hesitant after seeing that myself and Hombre have teamed up again, but we'll try to
take it easy on you guys a little bit.  For more information on T#%S IV, please
contact me at ganolus@aol.com.  We're looking for a few good managers...the few, the
proud, the TOGS!

-- Ganolus Oakleaf, T#%S IV Commish

15 September 2003
An Announcement Concerning the Brotherhood of the Blade Alliance:
     I have chosen to withdraw my membership from the Brotherhood of the Blade
alliance.  The years I have spent in the alliance have been the best of my DM career.
I leave the alliance with many great friends and will always remain close to my
former brethren.
     The Brotherhood of the Blade will not skip a beat without my membership.  It
remains in very capable hands and its roster is among the strongest in the game.
With the return on some of its founding members to DM, I know the BOB will continue
to grow in strength and prestige in the years to come. -- The Sandman

29 September 2003
All -- Let it be known that the Firm accepts SOL into its ranks.  The Firm is:
SunGod, Dark Spirit, Youngblood, Tripwire, and SOL.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MISTER SINISTER was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TERMINATOR was butchered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
PREDATOR was easily killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a popular 2 minute Dark Arena match.
ALIEN viciously butchered KORGE, SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
HOMELESS PRINCE demolished HOW--LITE in a 1 minute Challenge Title competition.
HISS viciously subdued PLATINUM in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody Challenge match.
GUANTANAMO BAY overpowered EDWIN MEESE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
JUDITH vanquished JFK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
JUSTICE was savagely defeated by WOF-A-MIT in a 5 minute expert's Challenge duel.
BEAR MARKET savagely defeated ROBERT BORK in a popular 3 minute gory Challenge melee.
GARY CONDIT was demolished by SNAKE IN THE GRASS in a 1 minute Challenge match.
ROBERT BYRD handily defeated SKEEMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
BLIND GIRL luckily beat SCHWARZENEGGER in a 4 minute Challenge conflict.
RUMSFELD vanquished NANCY PELOSI in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SHUX savagely defeated VENOM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody Challenge brawl.
DIDILY SQUAT overpowered MACRIBSI in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SNARF was overpowered by GARDEN GNOME in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
MONTY PYTHON overpowered TOYS in a 2 minute bloody mismatched conflict.
LEE was beaten by DARKLE in a exciting 3 minute uneven fight.
MORGAN beat KANGAROO KATE in a action packed 1 minute expert's fray.
TURKEY JOE devastated FLAT TAX in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
TWO PLUS TWO was outlasted by PISHTUSH in a tiresome 16 minute expert's fight.
BISCUIT was narrowly defeated by MAXIMUS in a 7 minute gory veteran's duel.
GEORGE BUSH demolished BARB in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
BLIND BOY was viciously butchered by MCGRORY in a 1 minute gory fray.
SAVAGE DRAGON was overcome by RATTLER in a action packed 3 minute amateur's bout.
ZELORA overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MARIE won victory over STAEL in a 2 minute novice's fray.
SANDSTONE beat NERF in a 5 minute novice's match.
BORENSEN was defeated by ANTHONY SCALIA in a 3 minute gory novice's bout.
GIREFFY was handily defeated by ELAINE CHAO in a 1 minute mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         STRIKING ATTACK   39 -  25 -  1      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         TOTAL PARRY       45 -  30 -  3      60  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  10 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         AIMED BLOW        16 -  13 -  1      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         LUNGING ATTACK    41 -  41 -  2      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-LUNGE       29 -  32 -  3      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     15 -  19 -  0      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  35 -  3      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   9 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  21 -  0      32  |

Turn 466 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  6         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  7         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         2  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  4         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 5939          16   6  0  121 SERPENTINE INC. (85)
BASHING ATTACK   JUDITH 5832                21  17  0  108 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
PARRY-LUNGE      WOF-A-MIT 5639             19  17  0  100 ROCK ETTS (595)
SLASHING ATTACK  HOW--LITE 5635             21  16  1   96 ROCK ETTS (595)
TOTAL PARRY      PISHTUSH 5651              15   3  0   91 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               14   8  0   84 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
WOF-A-MIT 5639.  The ten other most popular fighters were BEAR MARKET 6010, 
PRINCE 6012, BISCUIT 5678, MARIE 6077, and ROBERT BYRD 6039.

The least popular fighter this week was TWO PLUS TWO 5910.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were PISHTUSH 5651, GIREFFY 6102, SANDSTONE 6056, BLIND BOY 6042, 
BARB 6060, FLAT TAX 5998, TOYS 5679, SNARF 6093, MACRIBSI 6024, and SKEEMER 5965.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:



     For those of you who keep track of such things, 18 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament:

                          CAFFEINE JUNKIE (3-6110) ADDICTED 
                        CATFISH HUNTER (5-3315) PARTY ANIMALS 
                          MATTAHOOPLE (16-4203) GIFTED GODS 
                         SWEET JANE (53-6535) THE DARK TEMPLE 
                              LIL NOIR (62-3311) ENIGMA 
                         NARCISSISTIC NUN (69-8644) ODD SQUAD 
                             LEGION '8' (71-2369) D.O.A. 
                       RAW SEX APPEAL (82-1331) WHY WE LOVE TUM 
                         ZOMBIE STOMP (82-2617) NO MORE TEARS 
                        VIOLENT VOLE (82-4565) MAMMAL MILITIA 
                         LADY OF THE MOON (82-5481) HARM NONE 
                      KAMIKAZI GNAT (82-6073) DEADLY ATTACKS II 
                      THE 13TH WARRIOR (82-6346) STOOPID MOVIES 
                              SIRTON (82-9190) I AM SUCK 
                            DUNE (82-10414) 4-LETTER EPICS 
                           FLEM (82-12614) 4-LETTER FLUIDS 
                     GREENHOUSE EFFECT (82-12996) GLOBAL WARMING 
                         UGLY (82-14501) 4-LETTER DESCRIPTION 

                                          -- Green Eyes