Date   : 10/22/2003    Duedate: 11/04/2003


DM-22    TURN-467

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6012) [16-2-0,170]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
(22-6012) [16-2-0,170]         (22-5976) [5-1-1,65]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MORGAN                         ILSA SHE-WOLF
(22-5915) [14-13-1,94]         (22-6107) [1-0-0,9]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WOMEN OF REALITY (669)      41
2. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       27      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       26      Unchartered Team
4. WAY OF THE SWORD C5 (688)   24

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   3   0  0  100   1/ 1 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     11  4 0
 2/ 2*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)       6   2  1 75.0   2/ 4 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   11  4 0
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     66  37  3 64.1   3/ 2 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     9  6 1
 4/ 4 ROCK ETTS (595)          397 275  7 59.1   4/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     9  6 0
 5/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    106  76  6 58.2   5/ 7 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     7  8 0
 6- 6*SAVAGE HEARTS (358)        9   7  2 56.3   6/ 3 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       6  9 1
 7/ 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     122  95  6 56.2   7/ 5 THE ZOO (205)             6  9 0
 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   101  87  2 53.7   8/ 8 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      6  9 0
 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    299 278 23 51.8   9/11*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  3  0 0
10/10 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       95  92  8 50.8  10/10 ROCK ETTS (595)           3  8 0
11/16*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)   1   1  1 50.0  11/12*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)      2  1 1
12/12 OLD MCDONALD (621)       254 266 13 48.8  12/16*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)  1  1 1
13/11 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      44  48  1 47.8  13-13*SAVAGE HEARTS (358)       1  4 1
14-13 SWEET MARINES (325)       91 111  5 45.0  14- 9*DUNCES UNITED (687)       1  4 0
15/14 THE ZOO (205)            319 414  4 43.5  15/14 OLD MCDONALD (621)        1  7 0
16-15*DUNCES UNITED (687)       10  20  3 33.3  16-15 SWEET MARINES (325)       0  2 0
17/17*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)     0   2  0  0.0  17/17*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)    0  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #120 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

The Isle of Kordos:

     Belana blinked.  A priestess healer named Adelora?  Yes, she wanted very much to
meet that woman!  As they passed into the blessed shadow of the trees, she noted that
Gelleran drew his sword.  Her hand went to her waist automatically, even though she
knew her sword had vanished along with Alastari.  "Is there danger?"
     "There may be," he answered, looking alertly from side to side.  "We found a
boat drawn up on the beach around the point," a half-gesture indicated the rocky
point to the west of where Belana awakened.  "It might have been fishermen seeking
shelter from last night's storm...except that there is no one to be found around
there, and fishermen wouldn't go far from their boat.  I fear it is more likely
minions of the Gray Witch have landed on Kordos, and I will take no risks where you
are concerned!"
     "The Gray Witch?"  This was getting more confusing by the moment, like Alastari
in some ways and very unlike in others.  She had heard of a parallel dimension where
there was a Sheila Blackwand, but this seemed a different place than either Alastari
as she knew it or the one she'd heard of.  Okay, three parallel dimensions, then.  At
least, she hoped there were only three.  If she had to hunt through a dozen
dimensions to find the world she belonged in, she'd...she didn't know what she would
     Belana glanced at Gelleran out of the corner of her eye.  In her home dimension,
he had shown definite interest in her, the kind a man shows to a woman he wants, but
this man and the Belana of his world seemed to have gone beyond that point.  She
wouldn't be surprised to find that they were engaged.  And where WAS the Belana of
this world?  In Alastari?  Or around here somewhere?  She shook her head in a vain
effort to clear it.  Better not to borrow trouble.  "I take it this Gray Witch is an
     "The worst," Gelleran confirmed.  He glanced at Belana in his turn.  "The healer
must examine your head wound," he waved down her half-started protest.  "A blow to
the head may be more dangerous than it seems at the time, and you should KNOW how
terrible an enemy the Gray Witch is, Bel.  You shouldn't have to ask."
     Belana sighed.  How was she going to explain this, when she didn't fully
understand it herself?  But it had to be done.  She opened her mouth to begin.
     A voice in her own mind spoke first.  *Say nothing!  I forbid you to upset him
about this, on top of everything else!*
     Belana blinked.  At first she was surprised that the voice hadn't spoken out
loud, so distinct had it been.  *Who are you?  And where?*
     *I'm Bellana, of course, and this is MY body.  My world, and MY Gelleran!*

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #17 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Istoreth, Skaithvarn:

     The guards hustled them away from the waterfront and up a steep street to the
next level of buildings.  They weren't hostile or aggressive toward their charges,
but it was plain that they meant to be obeyed.
     Raoul cocked an eye at Berdan, who was walking next to him and breathing a
little heavily.  "You know who this Lord Dankilvan is?  What his position is here in
     The ex-assassin shook his head.  "Not to be sure of it.  Istoreth is ruled by a
council of lords, and I suppose he's one of them, but...I don't know which one."
     "Looks like we'll find out soon," Jeri remarked as the leading guards turned
through a gateway.
     They passed through a courtyard lined with small evergreen trees that had been
pruned into the shapes of fantastic creatures.  The building beyond was large and
foreign-looking.  Windows and doors had pointed tops and elaborate fretwork filled
with sly faces around them, the columns of the portico were shaped like tree-trunks
and done with such care and detail that it was possible to identify the type of tree
used as a model.  They were hurried through halls so filled with rich-colored carpets
and rich-colored tapestry wall hangings and richly inlaid furniture made of rich and
exotic woods that everything became a blur, a sort of visual indigestion.  Only the
occasional detail penetrated the dazzle:  an exquisitely curved vase the color of the
sky in a dream that stood quietly in a niche, a single white rose lying on a table, a
statue of a slim dog like a miniature greyhound that suddenly stood up and stepped
toward them, ears cocked curiously.
     They came out on a terrace that looked over the harbor and the Trier Sea beyond.
There were trellises of roses, and overhead screens to make shade, a fountain
rippling and flinging rainbows into the air, and benches, a table, a decanter of wine
and several glasses, and Lord Dankilvan.
     It was impossible to guess his age.  For one thing, he looked like having a lot
of elven blood.  High elven blood, the kind that was tall, thin, and blond, Araoi.
After the extreme richness of the furnishings in the house, he was dressed with
surprising plainness.  Silk, of course, but subdued in color, maybe gray or some
grayed shade, it was hard to tell because it kept changing subtly in the changing
light, but plain.
     Raoul noticed that the guards didn't follow them onto the terrace.  Either this
man was very trusting, or he figured he could handle any trouble they made.  It would
make a difference which.
     "You declared yourselves Andorian when you docked," he said.  "Very well.  Tell
me about this man Peranis and what he is up to."
     "You met him?" Berdan asked.
     "He...approached me.  With a book he wanted to sell.  I have books of my own and
did not desire his.  He became angry.  Desperate, too, I think.  What is he doing,
what is he likely to do if pushed to it?"
     "He's making trouble," Raoul said flatly.  "He's a renegade assassin--"
     Dankilvan's expression chilled.  "Any trouble Andoria gets into because of its
foul Assassins' Guild is well deserved.  But I will not have you drawing Istoreth
into it."
     "We're trying to prevent that," Raoul said quietly.  Was there any point in
telling this man that King Mickeal had outlawed the Assassins' Guild?  Probably not.
After all, it had been outlawed once before and had come back.  "We want to catch
Peranis and destroy his book."
     "Not keep it for your own use?"
     Dankilvan was silent for a long moment, one hand resting lightly on the stopper
of the decanter.  Raoul noted that the stopper was formed from some kind of crystal
as full of rainbows as the falling water and wondered if it had magical properties.
Finally the Istorthene said, "I turned this Peranis from my presence once he had said
his piece.  The other Lords of Istoreth, advised by me, gave him no hearing at all.
Eventually he was ordered to leave the city as a pernicious nuisance.  He did leave.
There was no boat departing for Alastari at that time, and a man answering his
description passed out through the south gate and took the road to Leemith."  An
expression of distaste passed across the Istorthene's face.  "They may have met his
demands in Leemith.  The Leemin are capable of anything."  With emphasis, he
repeated, "Anything."
     Raoul sighed.  "Then I guess we follow him to this Leemith place.  Can you tell
us anything about it?"
     "I can provide you with an escort who has some knowledge of the place,"
Dankilvan said.  "We employ Alastarians here--gladiators--for special jobs.  I offer
you a Delarquan woman, Hallie O'Dene.  You will find her knowledgeable, and reliable.
If you can bring yourself to work with a Delarquan."
     Before Berdan could utter the protest Raoul saw developing, the gladiator said,
"I'll work with anyone who can help me get the job done."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): ABYSS of PHANTOM FORCES 2 (The Catalyst, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 473): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 466): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 462): CANE TOAD of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 462): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 463): SAPPER of SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 459): GAZELLE HOUND of DOG DAY AFTERNOON (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 424): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 410): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 183): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
                            (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 473): THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 466): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 462): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 462): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 463): WARCKERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 459): GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 424): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 410): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 183): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): POWER BROKERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 358): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 235): ODDJOB of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
                               SUMTHING PAINFUL of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
                   (turn 472): VAJRA VALMEJAR of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 465): ROBERT BORK of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 423): KING LOVE of SUNNYLAND (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 417): FOOTSORE of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                          PUTZ'N ALONG of JOKA MASHER! (Sultan, mgr.)
                          BIGGLES of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
                 (turn 311): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
                             XINGARA of THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 137): SHADOW HAWK of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hey now, boys and girls.  Just like I like my women, short and sweet this week.
     This week's challenge goes out to How--Lite again.  You shouldn't have taught me
so much last time, or I would have gone after someone else.  Avoids are as usual,
Serpentine Inc. and Pishtush.  Looks like Hiss can't pick on Platinum this time,
what's a baby snake to do?
     How's this for a promise...if Hiss makes it into the CC's, I guarantee he gets
my TV that turn if I am still around.  We'll see how you fare when the tables are
turned.  Best of luck in the tourney, all; try to come out of it alive.
     Until next time, your humble Duelmaster....

-- Homeless Prince

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  A stormcloud 
is brewing over the DUNCES UNITED guildhouse.  Rumor says any more weeks like this 
ones 0-0-0 may send the team to the Dark Arena.  Coming up with a solid 1-0-1 outing, 
WAY OF THE SWORD C5 has advanced 4 places in the rankings.  WOMEN OF REALITY is no 
joke as it posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 4th place to 2nd place.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for STAEL, who flew up 24 points in the rankings after mashing GARDEN GNOME 
like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk 
out on the sands.  FLAT TAX was overcame by GEORGE BUSH and drops 15 points.  Unlike 
most arenas, HOMELESS PRINCE managed to get his challenge off against the 21-16-1 
HOW--LITE.  Well, everybody's pal HOMELESS PRINCE moved his record to 16-2-0 by 
defeating HOW--LITE in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 13 recognition points. 
Can you believe they are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the SOLVEN arena.  Did you 
hear that SERPENTINE INC. was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of SERPENTINE INC.'s warriors, I'm not surprised!  And you guys like 
to boo me?  Well, unsling your rasberries, cause THE DEMOCRATS beats feet every time 
SERPENTINE INC. smiles at them.  Try farming, eh?  Well just about everybody wants a 
piece of JUDITH, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Well, it looks like 
BEAR MARKET wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so she went for broke by challenging 
up 45 points.  No guts, no glory.  A Carrion Bird Sellout:  BEAR MARKET 8-10-1 fights 
GUANTANAMO BAY 23-18-0.  (BYOB) Was it guts or an overtaxed mental capacity that had 
JFK challenge up 34 points in the rankings to take on MONTY PYTHON?  Some advice to 
JFK.  Please don't challenge up 34 points to fight a 17-6-0 fighter like, say MONTY 
PYTHON.  (Okay, so it may be a little late).   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  This week 20-23-1 BISCUIT was 
sent to the Dark Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take 
notice of this.  Big deal, so TOYS got mashed in the Dark Arena.  With hers face she 
was more at home with the trolls than with us. (Waka waka).  We might as well mark 
the passing of DIDILY SQUAT, who was relatively new to the arena at 4-3-0.  Probably 
killed before his first shave.  Well, just when you thought it was safe to put a new 
warrior in the arena.  No no!  GARDEN GNOME, a mere boy, was slain by STAEL this 
turn.  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with 
you and see what happens.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOMELESS PRINCE 6012         16   2  0   170       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUANTANAMO BAY 5826          23  18  0   156       THE REPUBLICANS (103)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MONTY PYTHON 5939            17   6  0   129       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 JUDITH 5832                  22  17  0   125       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 WOF-A-MIT 5639               20  17  0   110       ROCK ETTS (595)
 EDWIN MEESE 828              23  16  4   101       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 HOW--LITE 5635               21  17  1    97       ROCK ETTS (595)
 PISHTUSH 5651                16   3  0    97       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 ROBERT BYRD 6039              8   4  0    97       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 MORGAN 5915                  14  13  1    94       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 JUSTICE 5949                 15   8  0    92       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952      15   5  0    91       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 BEAR MARKET 6010              8  10  1    91       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JFK 1660                     18  19  1    84       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 HISS 6017                    13   1  0    81       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 16   4  3    78       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              16  29  0    77       THE ZOO (205)
 TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  10  1    76       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             13  17  1    73       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 LEE 5831                     14  24  0    72       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 DARKLE 5709                  10   4  0    72       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           14  24  1    67       THE ZOO (205)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RUMSFELD 6032                 5   8  0    66       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MCGRORY 5976                  5   1  1    65       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708              8   4  0    60       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              10   1  0    59       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PLATINUM 5677                 9  22  1    54       ROCK ETTS (595)
 SKEEMER 5965                 12   9  0    49       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-RECON ROSE 5293               7   8  0    44       SWEET MARINES (325)
 FLAT TAX 5998                 8  11  0    40       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MACRIBSI 6024                 7   4  0    40       OLD MCDONALD (621)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             4   1  1    33       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-ALIEN 3265                    2   1  1    33       SAVAGE HEARTS (358)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           4   6  1    32       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 SHUX 5788                     3   0  0    32       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
-MAJOR DAISY 5943              7   3  0    31       SWEET MARINES (325)
 RATTLER 6075                  3   1  1    29       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 STAEL 6071                    1   1  1    25       WAY OF THE SWORD C5 (688)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-IGNATIUS 6092                 1   0  0    23       DUNCES UNITED (687)
 BARB 6060                     4   3  0    21       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 MARIE 6077                    3   0  0    21       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           2   0  0    14       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ZELORA 6068                   3   3  0    12       THE ZOO (205)
-NONSENTIA 6062                2   4  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)
-DORKUS MAJORUS 6074           2   2  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)
-SIMPLISSITUS 6061             2   4  1    11       DUNCES UNITED (687)
 VENOM 6059                    2   5  0    11       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 BORENSEN 6091                 0   2  0    10       BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            1   0  0     9       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-SAVAGE DRAGON 3263            2   2  0     8       SAVAGE HEARTS (358)
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
-COLONEL HUGS 6000             1   3  1     8       SWEET MARINES (325)
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             1   0  0     6       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ELAINE CHAO 6104              1   1  0     4       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-NOTHSTEIN 5977                1   1  0     4       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNARF 6093                    0   3  0     3       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 NERF 6105                     0   2  0     2       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 GIREFFY 6102                  0   2  0     2       THE ZOO (205)
-PRIVATE ROOM 6086             0   1  0     1       SWEET MARINES (325)
-PRIVATE KISS 6085             0   1  0     1       SWEET MARINES (325)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DIDILY SQUAT 6066      4  3 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651    NANCY PELOSI 6076     467         
DEMENTIA 6067          2  2 0 DUNCES UNITED 687     RATTLER 6075          464 REVENGED
BLIND BOY 6042         6  4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   MCGRORY 5976          466         
BISCUIT 5678          20 23 1 OLD MCDONALD 621      STONE GOLEM 409       467 NONE    
TOYS 5679             19 25 5 OLD MCDONALD 621      DARK CHAMPION 407     467 NONE    
GARDEN GNOME 6095      2  1 0 THE ZOO 205           STAEL 6071            467         
INARINDA 5913          8 21 1 THE ZOO 205           MAXIMUS 5966          465         
VILMA 6040             3  6 0 THE ZOO 205           SCHWARZENEGGER 6050   464         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Sandstone -- Thank you for the nice welcome to Solven.  It was a pleasure to make
your acquaintance.  I hope I never see you again. -- Nerf

Macribsi -- Thanks 2 out of 3.  Care to try for 3 out of 5? -- Didily Squat

Lee -- By all rights I should not have won our fight.  I figure that my one deadly
attack did the job. -- Darkle

Two Plus Two -- As you found out, it is not much fun being matched up against the
master of our style.  I will have to say that I am getting smarter. -- Pishtush

Garden Gnome -- Boy you really surprised and shocked me.  I should have been able to
out jump you. -- Snarf

Killdumbo -- Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  I also noted the
backstabbing of Serpentine.  I cast all the same dirty words I said to you at those
snakes.  In making the Wimps your target you seem to forget that that is why the
Wimps are here.  We make great targets.  We try to keep ourselves free of any macho
talk and spend most of our time making sure that the bullseyes painted on the back of
our armor are nice and clear.  I have no problem with those who like to down
challenge.  I just think they ought to only do so in association with those who think
the same way they do.  If you have read or followed any of the history of Alastari,
you should know that there are various factions.  The Andorian League try to uphold
strict ideals of chivalry and honor.  The Delarquan Federation follows the "might
makes right" outlook.  Solven is an Andorian League city.  Your style of managing
belongs in the Delarquan Federation, not in Andorian cities.  We Wimps subscribe to
the Andorian code of honor.  That is why we hate to see someone like you try and foul
up one of our cities.  We will be happy to help you move to a Delarquan city.  If you
stay here you are showing you lack of honor and respect for the whole system of
arenas in Alastari.  I have limited time and need to spend it where the Wimps can
fight with those who share our code of honor.  If you are going to continue your no
honor method of fighting, we will spend our time somewhere else.  We are currently
active in Aradi, Zensu and Arkers, all Andorian cities.  We don't wish to waste our
time fighting a low life like you. -- Again, Best regards and sincerely yours, Love,

How--Lite -- Well now, much better fight.  I like how you teach.  Let's try that once
more, shall we? -- Prince

Biscuit -- Nice fight and great learns.  We should try that again real soon. --

Schwarzenegger -- I guess if you don't mind trading wins for skills, neither do I. --
Blind Girl

McGrory -- I am thinking we will have a "response" to your killing of that sweet
little innocent Blind Boy. -- Kellumbo's Kids

"A cancer in our arena."  I like the sounds of that. -- Maximus, the cancerous one

Al -- Did Robert look awesome there or what?  Good for you, just keep him away from
my guys, will ya? -- Kellumbo

Wimpy -- That's right punk, come for your pound of flesh and see who gets beat down.
-- DK

The Zoo -- The Women of Reality send our deepest condolences for the untimely death
of Inarinda. -- THawk
P.S.  We also regret that this is late.

Kangaroo Kate -- Sue shared some pointers with me before departing for the Isle.
Looks like they worked! --Morgan (waving a broadsword painted in a fluorescent shade
of purple)

Snarf -- You think you're going to muck around in MY garden?  Well, if you have some
really good ideas, share 'em with me.  I'm bored. -- Garden Gnome

Morgan -- It's a damned set-up.  One of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't"
things.  Pah. -- Kangaroo Kate

Flat Tax -- And I'll smash you flatter, if I can.  I really LIKE seeing a tax that's
flat. -- Turkey Joe

I had to laugh!  The Shift-eyed one only volunteered for the health benefits (I heard
him saying that in the bar last night), and his insurance is lapsed!  So much for
health benefits, eh? -- Zelora

Elaine Chao -- Cheese, are you sure it was supposed to be like that?  I thought I was
supposed to win and learn lots of skills. -- Gireffy

Blind Boy -- Just put it down to the natural perversity of the female. -- Kangaroo

Kellumbo -- I never get good replacements in Andorian arenas.  Only in the Delarquan
arenas. -- Leeta, I forget what my team is here...oh, right, The Zoo

Skeemer -- How was fighting on your back?  Beating you was easy enough.  That was the
first time I ever saw a whole fight go with somebody on their back. -- Al Gore

Judith -- Good challenge!  You caught me trying a new start.  I wasn't prepared for a
weapon that eats plate.  See you next time. -- JFK

Bork -- Thanks for the skills. -- Bear Market

Rummy -- Good fight.  The skills I picked up from you will come in handy in the
rematch. -- N. Pelosi

DK -- I've noticed.  I just DC them back and they get the hint.  You don't get the
hint. -- Al Gore

Saint -- Could you list the team managers' names if possible.  Thanks in advance. --
Al Gore

     Yikes, I'm sorry!  I'm not on my own computer at the moment (I think it has the
     flu).  Remind me next turn and I will definitely do it! -- The Saint, whose
     lists are elsewhere

29 September 2003
All -- Let it be known that the Firm accepts SOL into its ranks.  The Firm is:
SunGod, Dark Spirit, Youngblood, Tripwire, and SOL.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BISCUIT was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
TOYS was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
SKEEMER was demolished by MCGRORY in a 2 minute gory one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
HOMELESS PRINCE vanquished HOW--LITE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title brawl.
HISS overpowered LEE in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
EDWIN MEESE was unbelievably bested by WOF-A-MIT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
BEAR MARKET was overpowered by GUANTANAMO BAY in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
JUDITH overpowered SNAKE IN THE GRASS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
MORGAN vanquished GARY CONDIT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
JFK was vanquished by MONTY PYTHON in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ROBERT BYRD handily defeated DARKLE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
MACRIBSI outlasted SCHWARZENEGGER in a 7 minute Challenge competition.
GEORGE BUSH handily defeated FLAT TAX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
BORENSEN was demolished by MARIE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
ANTHONY SCALIA overcame VENOM in a action packed 3 minute gory Challenge fight.
NANCY PELOSI butchered DIDILY SQUAT in a 1 minute brutal uneven Challenge duel.
PISHTUSH unbelievably bested MAXIMUS in a tiring 15 minute master's brawl.
JUSTICE narrowly defeated TWO PLUS TWO in a exciting 13 minute brutal veteran's match.
TURKEY JOE was overpowered by VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
KANGAROO KATE was devastated by RUMSFELD in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PLATINUM was vanquished by BLIND GIRL in a 3 minute one-sided match.
ZELORA was handily defeated by SHUX in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BARB slimly won victory over SNARF in a 3 minute brutal bout.
STAEL assassinated GARDEN GNOME in a 1 minute brutal uneven fight.
RATTLER overpowered ELAINE CHAO in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
GIREFFY was subdued by DARRELL ISSA in a 3 minute novice's melee.
NERF lost to ILSA SHE-WOLF in a action packed 5 minute novice's fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         STRIKING ATTACK   43 -  23 -  1      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  10 -  0      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       44 -  30 -  2      59  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  18 -  0      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  46 -  4      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         AIMED BLOW        14 -  15 -  1      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         PARRY-LUNGE       29 -  34 -  3      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   9 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    23 -  36 -  3      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  21 -  0      32  |

Turn 467 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  8         3  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  3         1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 5939          17   6  0  129 SERPENTINE INC. (85)
BASHING ATTACK   JUDITH 5832                22  17  0  125 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
PARRY-LUNGE      WOF-A-MIT 5639             20  17  0  110 ROCK ETTS (595)
LUNGING ATTACK   EDWIN MEESE 828            23  16  4  101 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
SLASHING ATTACK  HOW--LITE 5635             21  17  1   97 ROCK ETTS (595)
TOTAL PARRY      PISHTUSH 5651              16   3  0   97 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               15   8  0   92 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107.  The ten other most popular fighters were VENOM 6059, JUSTICE 
5949, SCHWARZENEGGER 6050, BARB 6060, ROBERT BYRD 6039, MARIE 6077, RATTLER 6075, 

The least popular fighter this week was PISHTUSH 5651.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MAXIMUS 5966, TWO PLUS TWO 5910, MACRIBSI 6024, LEE 5831, DARRELL ISSA 
KATE 5900.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn: