DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER Date : 11/05/2003 Duedate: 11/18/2003 SOLVEN ARENA DM-22 TURN-468 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS HOMELESS PRINCE KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) (22-6012) [17-2-0,182] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader HOMELESS PRINCE GIDEON KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) BIBLE BELTERS (364) (22-6012) [17-2-0,182] (22-3308) [1-0-0,11] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite MORGAN GUANTANAMO BAY WOMEN OF REALITY (669) THE REPUBLICANS (103) (22-5915) [15-13-1,102] (22-5826) [24-18-0,164] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM SERPENTINE INC. (85) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 43 2. THE REPUBLICANS (103) 38 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 3. ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 30 Unchartered Team 4. SERPENTINE INC. (85) 28 5. ROCK ETTS (595) 22 BIBLE BELTERS (364) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1- 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663) 3 0 0 100 1/ 1 SERPENTINE INC. (85) 11 4 0 2- 2*BREMEN SIX DAY (678) 6 2 1 75.0 2/ 4 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) 9 6 0 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 69 39 3 63.9 3/ 5 THE REPUBLICANS (103) 9 6 0 4/ 4 ROCK ETTS (595) 398 277 7 59.0 4/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 9 6 0 5/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) 109 78 6 58.3 5/ 2 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) 8 5 0 6/ 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85) 126 96 6 56.8 6/ 8 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 7 8 0 7- 6*SAVAGE HEARTS (358) 9 7 2 56.3 7/ 6 THE DEMOCRATS (202) 6 9 1 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) 102 89 2 53.4 8/10 ROCK ETTS (595) 4 6 0 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103) 303 279 23 52.1 9/ 7 THE ZOO (205) 4 10 0 10/10 THE DEMOCRATS (202) 97 95 8 50.5 10-11*BREMEN SIX DAY (678) 2 0 1 11-11*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688) 1 1 1 50.0 11- 9*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663) 2 0 0 12/ 0*BIBLE BELTERS (364) 1 1 0 50.0 12-12*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688) 1 1 1 13/13 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 47 50 1 48.5 13/ 0*BIBLE BELTERS (364) 1 1 0 14/12 OLD MCDONALD (621) 254 271 13 48.4 14-13*SAVAGE HEARTS (358) 1 4 1 15/15 THE ZOO (205) 320 417 4 43.4 15/15 OLD MCDONALD (621) 1 12 0 16-17*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690) 0 2 0 0.0 16-17*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690) 0 2 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #18 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + Zuwayza: They were all assembled in the throne room of the Satrap's palace: he, Khannarth, Kasarya, the Satrap's First Wife Jasryala, and the Satrap himself and his guards. It was not crowded, even with those numbers present, and Tankesh looked around curiously. The style was foreign to what he was used to, of course, but he was surprised to find it less ostentatious than he had expected. Apparently the Satrap didn't feel the need of external aids to boost his prestige and authority. A good sign, in one way, a bad one in another. This was probably a man who would act intelligently to deal with his problems, and in Tankesh's experience, intelligent foes were worse, in the long run, than impulsive ones. One of the guards in front of him shifted, allowing Tankesh to see the Satrap of the Glorious Empire for the first time. Younger than the Andorian had expected, in his thirties, maybe. Regular features, but foreign, of course. The swarthy skin and slightly hooked nose characteristic of the Karnhorn people, but blue eyes. Odd, that, but he'd heard that previous satraps, and the sultans of Serevada, for that matter, sometimes took "foreign" women, what they called "white barbarians" to wife. Not that it mattered. What mattered was that this man, this Satrap Kharanjal, looked intelligent, decisive, and royally pissed. Bad combination. The Satrap was in consultation with a plainly dressed man, possibly a minor official, more like a spy. Finally he nodded and waved the man off, then turned to the people standing before him. "I see four people before me who have had positions of trust and who have wronged the Satrap," Kharanjal said. "You have been brought here together because your various treacheries are perhaps linked." He looked them over coldly as the guards shifted again and moved Tankesh into a line beside Kasarya, Jasryala, and Khannarth. "I will start with the foreigner." His gaze settled on Tankesh. "What have you to say for yourself, barbarian who claims to be a King's Envoy?" "First, that I am an envoy of King Mickeal of Andoria," Tankesh answered just as crisply. "I was sent to find out what had become of Princess Samara's children, when she came here to Zuwayza with her second husband--" "Whose name is not to be mentioned in this place," Kharanjal cut in. "His treasons have found him out, and his end was less unpleasant than he deserved. The woman and her children returned to the west." "So I discovered. Eventually. So I might have discovered sooner and without having to sneak into your palace, if ANYONE here had been helpful." The elf shrugged. "I got in, and encountered Kasarya, who was concerned about--" "She will tell me her concerns, at the proper time. That you acted as seemed best to you with regard to the children I will grant. But what prompted you to think it any part of an envoy's privilege to enter into a liaison with the Satrap's concubine? The licentiousness of elves is of course well known, but I would have thought someone chosen for an important task would have more self control." Tankesh's expression hardened. "If anyone has accused your concubine Kasarya of improper behavior, that person lies, and I can guess why. The lady requested my aid in ferreting out a conspiracy, and we have been partners in that effort, but nothing more." One of Kharanjal's eyebrows rose slightly, but he made no other comment. Turning to the younger of the two women, he said, "What conspiracy do you claim to have 'ferreted out'?" Kasarya's chin came up proudly. "I have been always loyal to you, Most Exalted. But it came to me gradually, like the creeping of dawn, that Khannarth who was honored to be your Vizier was not so loyal. There were meetings with emissaries of the Invader. There were...gifts exchanged. I hastened to your First Wife to report these suspicions, as was proper, and found her intimately engaged with the very object of my concern, Khannarth. Seeing this, I began to doubt that any in the Kashka could be trusted. Came then this foreigner, and since I needs must trust someone, I chose him who had no ties here. If I have done wrongly, I abase myself, but I have had only the best interests of the Glorious Empire, so far as I understood them, of the Exalted Satrap, and of yourself, in my heart." Again the raised eyebrow as the Satrap looked toward his First Wife, Jasryala. She met his gaze with one equally cold. "Why should I answer ridiculous charges from that little commoner?" "You make no defense?" "I need none." "Then you shall meet Mighty Kjarran across His altar and answer to Him." It was a shock to realize that, so simply, the Satrap was proposing to sacrifice his wife to Kjarran. Tankesh didn't like the woman, much less trust her, but he wondered if he should intervene here. Before he could say anything, Jasryala said, "I fear nothing from the Mighty One, for He will see that it was I, not you, who was working for the good of the Glorious Empire. And my brother will deliver Kjarran's judgment upon you." "You think I fear Jhuizkhal of Kurukar? He has forsaken Kjarran, and if any judgment is made involving him, it will compass his destruction." The Satrap turned at last to Khannarth, but the Vizier remained silent. Kharijal made a sign to the guards, who took Khannarth and Jasryala away. To Tankesh, the Satrap said, "I see that whether you have made Kasarya your leman or not, you have a regard for the wench. Therefore I will permit you to redeem her from the altar of Kjarran by performing a small task for the Glorious Empire. Which task shall be yours to choose or refuse as you wish, and if you refuse, no harm will come to you, King's Envoy, save that you will be expelled from all the lands of the Glorious Empire forever on pain of death. But Kasarya shall then be given to Kjarran." "What 'small task'?" Tankesh asked. "Remove from this plane of existence the offense which is Jhuizkhal of Kurukar." * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 236): ABYSS of PHANTOM FORCES 2 (The Catalyst, mgr.) DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.) DM 14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 467): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo) DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 463): CURTIS JOSEPH of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 463): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.) DM 26 CALEAM (turn 464): WOOLLY LOCO of POISONOUS PUGILISTS (Poison Ivy, mgr.) DM 30 IAYE (turn 460): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.) DM 40 ZENSU (turn 425): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): POSITION IS EMPTY DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 184): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 60 ARADI (turn 323): ACHONDROPLASIA of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.) DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.) ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 359): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele) Top Teams --------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 236): TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.) DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.) DM 14 TOBIR (turn 474): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 467): none DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 463): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.) DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 463): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.) DM 26 CALEAM (turn 464): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.) DM 30 IAYE (turn 460): GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.) DM 40 ZENSU (turn 425): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.) DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.) DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 184): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.) DM 60 ARADI (turn 323): POWER BROKERS (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.) ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 359): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.) Recent Graduates ---------------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 235): ODDJOB of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.) DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): SECRET of YOUNG JUSTICE (Rillion, mgr.) NEVILLE of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Rillion, mgr.) (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.) SUMTHING PAINFUL of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.) DM 14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 467): JUDITH of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.) DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 417): FOOTSORE of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.) DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.) PUTZ'N ALONG of JOKA MASHER! (Sultan, mgr.) BIGGLES of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.) DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): RAZORTOOTHROTEY of TOMATO ENFORCER (THawk, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 137): SHADOW HAWK of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.) DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. Dang! 170 recognition points. I am getting up in the world. Here again, your humble Duelmaster, Homeless Prince with your bi-weekly column. How--Lite, how could you? Not even one thing you could teach me? After such a promising session two weeks ago. Ah well, I guess that makes me done with you. Good luck, and save the avoids because no more challenges are coming from me. Challenges, challenges, challenges. Check out last turn's impressive ones: Hiss over Lee in 3. Well done. Bear Market with a good try vs. GB, but to no avail. I remember back in the day when Judge called GB a mediocre warrior who didn't learn well. Well, something must have changed, because he is on one heck of a hot streak! Most impressively though, at least in our eyes, was the drubbing Judith put on that little rattler', Snake in the Grass. Way to go Judith! And an invite on top of it. Will you be challenging the DA just to see if you can do it? I hope so. I'll be in the front row for that one! Speaking of challenges, this turns challenge goes out to Morgan. Striker vs. Striker. May the best (fastest) one win. On an interesting note, if that challenge fails to go through, we are giving Bear Market his shot. Imagine, a 79 point down- challenge. It's for the throne, mind you, so hopefully Al won't hold it against me too much if it happens. Of course, if there are challenges, there are avoids. Same ole', same ole'. Monty Python and Pishtush both worry me, so we'll be sending those challenges back unopened. That leaves it pretty wide open if Morgan is avoiding. Here's hoping she is not, and that she doesn't have an Advanced Master in Decise (I am guessing she doesn't, but I could be wrong). Lastly, here's hoping we all come back from the tourney. When you are reading this, we should all know at least who died. Believe me, I am sure Kellumbo will be nervous if he doesn't find my name in the DM seat for this turn. Best of luck all; fight hard and bring home some TV's or even a TC to Solven, the best arena in all the lands! -- Homeless Prince SPY REPORT Busy, busy, busy, lots of things happening in SOLVEN this turn, and let's start with a look at some of the teams. The THE REPUBLICANS guild has had a 4-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future. You never know where this kind of thing can lead. And let's see, NERF fought BARB and gained 17 points and contributed to ANDORIAN WIMPS' 3-2-0. TWO PLUS TWO has lost to HISS, falling 6 points, while helping make OLD MCDONALD a 0-5-0 turn. ROBERT BYRD challenged for the Duelmastership this turn, attempting to dethrone KELLUMBO'S KIDS' warrior. The attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and HOMELESS PRINCE remains SOLVEN's top warrior for another turn. Tell me, is nothing sacred? I have heard from unimpeachable sources that The Victory Tavern uses trolls in their stew. Talk about gristle! I tell you, a green quarterstaff lasts longer than a seasoned sapling. A basher friend of mine assures me this is true. I also notice that the KELLUMBO'S KIDS stable was the most avoided team this turn. Come on SOLVEN, what are you afraid of? And guess who avoided KELLUMBO'S KIDS stable the most? Believe it or not, it was THE REPUBLICANS. Anyone surprised? The most challenged warrior this turn was THE ZOO's warrior KANGAROO KATE. More fighters challenged her than challenged the Duelmaster! In a fit of brilliance or of stupidity (hard to say sometimes), MAXIMUS challenged GUANTANAMO BAY today, facing a 78 difference in recognition. And though MAXIMUS lost to GUANTANAMO BAY, the valiant attempt earned it 3 worth of recognition. Foolhardiness can sometimes pay. In a brave attempt, LEE from WOMEN OF REALITY challenged up 19 points to fight SNAKE IN THE GRASS from the SERPENTINE INC. stable. LEE perhaps got hers just desserts, seeing as she lost to SNAKE IN THE GRASS and ended up with 75 recognition points. The Dark Arena is for those who cannot win, not who cannot lose with grace. Dignity in life or death is the warrior's creed. Kudos go out to PISHTUSH this turn, for revenging ANDORIAN WIMPS' bloodfeud against THE DEMOCRATS' warrior NANCY PELOSI. Well done. We'd like to remind certain teams not to rob the graves of their enemies. You know who you are; and it's considered rude. Remember, blood on the purple robe does not change it from a purple robe. Dare to fight bravely. It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep your swords sharp and your hammers heavy. Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to paper-- Alarond the Scribe DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME HOMELESS PRINCE 6012 17 2 0 182 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GUANTANAMO BAY 5826 24 18 0 164 THE REPUBLICANS (103) MONTY PYTHON 5939 18 6 0 135 SERPENTINE INC. (85) WOF-A-MIT 5639 21 17 0 124 ROCK ETTS (595) JUSTICE 5949 16 8 0 108 THE REPUBLICANS (103) HOW--LITE 5635 21 18 1 104 ROCK ETTS (595) EDWIN MEESE 828 23 17 4 102 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) MORGAN 5915 15 13 1 102 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) PISHTUSH 5651 17 3 0 99 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) BEAR MARKET 6010 9 10 1 99 THE DEMOCRATS (202) SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952 16 5 0 94 SERPENTINE INC. (85) HISS 6017 14 1 0 93 SERPENTINE INC. (85) ROBERT BYRD 6039 8 5 0 92 THE DEMOCRATS (202) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME JFK 1660 18 20 1 89 THE DEMOCRATS (202) GARY CONDIT 5914 14 17 1 85 THE DEMOCRATS (202) MAXIMUS 5966 16 5 3 81 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) TURKEY JOE 5825 16 30 0 78 THE ZOO (205) LEE 5831 14 25 0 75 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) KANGAROO KATE 5900 15 24 1 73 THE ZOO (205) TWO PLUS TWO 5910 13 11 1 70 OLD MCDONALD (621) BLIND GIRL 6041 11 1 0 68 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME DARKLE 5709 10 5 0 67 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GEORGE BUSH 1708 9 4 0 65 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) -MCGRORY 5976 5 1 1 65 BREMEN SIX DAY (678) RUMSFELD 6032 5 9 0 62 THE REPUBLICANS (103) SKEEMER 5965 12 10 0 60 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PLATINUM 5677 9 23 1 55 ROCK ETTS (595) FLAT TAX 5998 9 11 0 53 THE REPUBLICANS (103) MACRIBSI 6024 7 5 0 40 OLD MCDONALD (621) SCHWARZENEGGER 6050 5 6 1 37 THE REPUBLICANS (103) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME NANCY PELOSI 6076 4 2 1 33 THE DEMOCRATS (202) -ALIEN 3265 2 1 1 33 SAVAGE HEARTS (358) -SHUX 5788 3 0 0 32 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663) RATTLER 6075 3 2 1 25 SERPENTINE INC. (85) -STAEL 6071 1 1 1 25 WAY OF THE SWORD C5 (688) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME VENOM 6059 3 5 0 22 SERPENTINE INC. (85) BARB 6060 4 4 0 20 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) NERF 6105 1 2 0 19 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107 2 0 0 17 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) ANTHONY SCALIA 6103 3 0 0 16 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) ZELORA 6068 3 4 0 13 THE ZOO (205) DARRELL ISSA 6108 2 0 0 12 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) GIDEON 3308 1 0 0 11 BIBLE BELTERS (364) -BORENSEN 6091 0 2 0 10 BLOOD OF THE RAT (690) MERIAM 3305 0 1 0 9 BIBLE BELTERS (364) -SAVAGE DRAGON 3263 2 2 0 8 SAVAGE HEARTS (358) -SANDSTONE 6056 2 1 0 8 ROCK ETTS (595) SKANK 6114 1 0 0 7 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) LITTLE PONY 6106 0 1 0 7 OLD MCDONALD (621) ELAINE CHAO 6104 1 2 0 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) -NOTHSTEIN 5977 1 1 0 4 BREMEN SIX DAY (678) GIREFFY 6102 0 3 0 3 THE ZOO (205) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? SNARF 6093 0 4 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651 KORGE, SHEWISH GI 404 468 NONE DIDILY SQUAT 6066 4 3 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651 NANCY PELOSI 6076 467 JUST REV BLIND BOY 6042 6 4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676 MCGRORY 5976 466 OLD GOAT II 6113 0 1 0 OLD MCDONALD 621 BANDIT PRINCE 408 468 NONE OLD GOAT I 6112 0 1 0 OLD MCDONALD 621 DARK CHAMPION 407 468 NONE INARINDA 5913 8 21 1 THE ZOO 205 MAXIMUS 5966 465 VILMA 6040 3 6 0 THE ZOO 205 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050 464 NOT REVE GARDEN GNOME 6095 2 1 0 THE ZOO 205 STAEL 6071 467 PERSONAL ADS Detective Kellumbo -- So you are going to teach me a lesson for challenging Platinum for a few turns in a row? I missed the part of the newsletter where you were elected moral judge and jury for Solven. I guess I better change my evil ways now that big bad Kellumbo has set his sights on me!!!! HA!! I kept quiet here for months listening to your drivel in the personal ads every turn. "I rule Solven blah blah blah." and "My warrior is better than yours blah blah blah!!!" Well, if you wanted my attention, you certainly have it now. From this turn on I will be challenging every one of your warriors in range of mine (up or down). Listen, you don't have to worry about wasting Homeless Prince's TV challenge because after Hiss gets into range next turn you will be getting his TV challenge!!!! Get those avoids warmed up, D.K.!!!! You should be used to putting my name there since you have been ducking my challenges to H.P. for the last 5 turns or so. -- Floyd, mgr. Serpentine Inc. Wimpy -- I figured I'd respond to you as well. First, it's my personal rule to only down challenge when a warrior has nearly double my warrior's FE. I feel it's not an unfair challenge nor do I feel like I'm picking on some poor defenseless warrior. The only other reason is when someone provokes me. (See above ad to D.K.) I believe since I've played here that I have lived by that. Hiss challenging Platinum, Snake in the Grass against Turkey Joe or Biscuit. If people want to run warriors w/15-27 records they better get ready to be challenged by my younger warriors looking for skills. If they don't want to be challenged by me A> avoid me B> go to the Dark Arena C> sit that warrior out. I'm sorry if you can't understand that. I certainly don't want to be the one that makes you leave this fine arena. Especially now that it's just getting interesting. -- Floyd, mgr. Serpentine Inc Al Gore -- Nice try both turns but Monty does well against warriors of that style. Now if Robert Byrd tried me, he'd probably have better luck. I have been notoriously weak against his style. Oh yeah, before I forget, what's up with the broadsword? You aren't the only person I've seen try it but it just never seems to work. -- Floyd Al Gore -- You are right! The last time I saw someone on there back so much was when I stopped into your mama's job.... -- Skeemer Wimpy -- It is too bad you are leaving. You forget that when we joined Solven, we had no idea of what an Andorian arena was, or anything like that. We were simply assigned to this arena. I am sorry you feel so strongly about down challenging, but we do not feel the same way. If you do decide to leave, best of luck to you where you venture. You know that the Kids' are here waiting for you. No hard feelings. -- Detective Kellumbo How--Lite -- Well, when you don't teach me anything, I guess that is a good way to make sure you don't get challenged again. -- Prince Pishtush -- I hate you. I hate you so much.... -- Maximus Platinum -- What gives? Are you trying to lose? -- Blind Girl Nerf -- Yes, yes you are...but not enough. -- Ilsa She-Wolf...hooowwwlllll!!!! Al Gore -- Yeah, we get it. Quit challenging for a bit and see if the favor is returned. -- DK Solven -- Looks like I'm leaving without even making Duelmaster. Oh well, that's life, I suppose. For those interested: 15-8-13-13(1)-15-10-11; Adv Expert: Ini, Atk, Dec; Weapon: MA; Normal Encumbrance/Endurance; Great Dmg; HP: 25 or so (can't take a lot); Learn Ini, No tactics; High OE, Medium AL. -- Judith P.S. Don't know if I'll fight on the Isle. If I do, I'll see you in the Free Blades Arena, where my stable mates are. Ilsa She-Wolf -- I thought I could hit fairly hard. I guess not. -- Nerf Barb -- Sorry I couldn't give you a little better fight. I did enjoy the skills however. -- Snarf Maximus -- Matched up again. I didn't think I could take you unless I was ready for you. As it was all I could hit you with was my medium shield. I won, but I hurt all over. -- Pishtush Robert Byrd -- Just like a backstabbing Democrat to stab me right in the body/back? -- Darkle Nancy Pelosi -- You just had to do Didily Squat didn't you. Typical of one of your political persuasion. RIP -- Wimpy A Virginal Concubine! I got all excited, but it was an empty boast. Er, more or less. You know. -- Turkey Joe the embarrassed Rumsfield -- (recoiling) All those skills, I hardly know what to say about it. I'm astonished. -- Kangaroo Kate Shux -- Oh. I thought you were a breakfast cereal. My mistake, eh? -- Zelora Stael -- A classic style mismatch. But I can safely say that you will never learn that much from the Gnome again. -- Leeta Darrell Issa -- Next time, I'll bring a can opener. -- Gireffy Snarf -- Well, you can out-jump me now. -- Ghost of Garden Gnome Maximus -- I set to the Happy Hunting Grounds. -- Biscuit Justice -- Nice fight but no learn to help. -- Two plus Two Schwarzeneggar -- Get a smaller name. It takes too long to hit you. -- Marribs Kellumbo -- Bork was easy. You should be more concerned with Messe. -- Al Gore Saint -- Reminding you about a list of manager names. -- Al Gore Right, thanks for the reminder! Here's what I have. As per usual, this list is only teams listed in last turn's newsletter and if I've gotten anyone's name wrong, just let me know and I'll fix it. -- The Saint, keeper of lists 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS Nuln SAVAGE HEARTS Silverstroke ANDORIAN WIMPS Wimpy SERPENTINE INC. Floyd BLOOD OF THE RAT DeGotti SWEET MARINES General Snookums BREMEN SIX DAY Dr. Mabuse THE DEMOCRATS Al Gore CONSPIRACY INC. ? THE REPUBLICANS The Judge DUNCES UNITED Rude Buddha THE ZOO Leeta KELLUMBO'S KIDS Detective Kellubmo WAY OF THE SWORD C5 Vhagar OLD MCDONALD Elderberry WOMEN OF REALITY THawk ROCK ETTS Pie-Rite G-Bay -- OUCH! That rematch sucked. See you next time. -- BM Darkle -- Wow! Thanks for all those skills! -- Al Gore Monty -- Good fight. -- Al Gore Morgan -- Condit shall be avoiding you from now on. -- Al Gore Ghost of Didily Squat -- Sorry about that. But that is what happens when you vote Republican. I welcome your honor-bound bloodfeud. -- N. Pelosi 31 October 2003 Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari! The Third Annual Turf War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns.... C'mon and get your team some experience, and get declared! More info available in North Fork's newsletter. Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS SNARF was barely slain by KORGE, SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. OLD GOAT II was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee. OLD GOAT I was assassinated by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel. PISHTUSH devastated NANCY PELOSI in a exciting 3 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight. JUSTICE devastated HOW--LITE in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl. ROBERT BYRD was devastated by HOMELESS PRINCE in a 1 minute Challenge Title match. HISS handily defeated TWO PLUS TWO in a 2 minute gruesome uneven Challenge fight. LEE lost to SNAKE IN THE GRASS in a popular 2 minute gruesome expert's Challenge duel. GARY CONDIT vanquished TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. MAXIMUS was savagely defeated by GUANTANAMO BAY in a 3 minute Challenge melee. DARKLE was demolished by BEAR MARKET in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition. BLIND GIRL devastated PLATINUM in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge battle. RUMSFELD was bested by KANGAROO KATE in a 2 minute Challenge bout. NERF overcame BARB in a popular 4 minute gruesome Challenge conflict. ILSA SHE-WOLF overpowered GIREFFY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle. WOF-A-MIT handily defeated EDWIN MEESE in a 1 minute mismatched bout. MONTY PYTHON devastated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute brutal one-sided brawl. MORGAN demolished JFK in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout. GEORGE BUSH savagely defeated MACRIBSI in a crowd pleasing 6 minute bloody conflict. SKEEMER was beaten by FLAT TAX in a 2 minute expert's fight. RATTLER was subdued by SCHWARZENEGGER in a 1 minute beginner vs. expert bout. VENOM handily defeated ZELORA in a 1 minute one-sided contest. ANTHONY SCALIA subdued MERIAM in a action packed 2 minute brutal novice's fight. ELAINE CHAO was luckily beaten by SKANK in a 3 minute novice's duel. DARRELL ISSA narrowly defeated LITTLE PONY in a 4 minute brutal beginner's match. GIDEON won victory over POLITE BEGGAR in a 2 minute gruesome novice's fray. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 11 STRIKING ATTACK 44 - 22 - 1 67 | |STRIKING ATTACK 7 TOTAL PARRY 44 - 28 - 2 61 | |TOTAL PARRY 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 14 - 11 - 0 56 | |PARRY-LUNGE 5 WALL OF STEEL 18 - 18 - 0 50 | |WALL OF STEEL 5 PARRY-LUNGE 30 - 31 - 3 49 | |BASHING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 13 - 14 - 1 48 | |SLASHING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 44 - 51 - 4 46 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 38 - 2 34 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 5 - 10 - 0 33 | |AIMED BLOW 1 SLASHING ATTACK 10 - 20 - 0 33 | Turn 468 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: AIMED BLOW 1 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 3 - 4 3 STRIKING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 4 - 1 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 2 SLASHING ATTACK WALL OF STEEL 4 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 8 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 1 PARRY-LUNGE 1 WALL OF STEEL 1 TOTAL PARRY TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK HOMELESS PRINCE 6012 17 2 0 182 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) PARRY-RIPOSTE MONTY PYTHON 5939 18 6 0 135 SERPENTINE INC. (85) PARRY-LUNGE WOF-A-MIT 5639 21 17 0 124 ROCK ETTS (595) WALL OF STEEL JUSTICE 5949 16 8 0 108 THE REPUBLICANS (103) SLASHING ATTACK HOW--LITE 5635 21 18 1 104 ROCK ETTS (595) LUNGING ATTACK EDWIN MEESE 828 23 17 4 102 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY PISHTUSH 5651 17 3 0 99 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915. The most popular warrior this turn was GUANTANAMO BAY 5826. The ten other most popular fighters were NANCY PELOSI 6076, SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952, BARB 6060, MERIAM 3305, GEORGE BUSH 1708, FLAT TAX 5998, LITTLE PONY 6106, GIDEON 3308, JUSTICE 5949, and HISS 6017. The least popular fighter this week was MACRIBSI 6024. The other ten least popular fighters were PLATINUM 5677, ZELORA 6068, SKEEMER 5965, EDWIN MEESE 828, GIREFFY 6102, BLIND GIRL 6041, DARKLE 5709, TURKEY JOE 5825, ROBERT BYRD 6039, and OLD GOAT I 6112. The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn: GUANTANAMO BAY (22-5826) THE REPUBLICANS (103) PISHTUSH (22-5651) ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: JUDITH (22-5832) WOMEN OF REALITY (669) TOURNEY FREEZE CHANGE -- ADVANCE NOTICE Beginning at the Winter Face-to-Face in Tempe (January 2004), we will implement several changes affecting tournaments. The tournament announcement for the upcoming FTF and future tourneys will reflect these changes. First, we will eliminate the tourney freeze for all regular DM warrior classes. Regular DM warriors will not be classed ahead of the tournament, but instead will fight according to their FE on the date of the tourney. There will still be a freeze for the ADM classes, occurring on the same timeline as before, approximately 6 weeks before the tournament. In addition to the above change, the warrior classes will be slightly altered. The new tourney classes will be as follows: DM Tourney Classes ADM Tourney Classes ====================== ====================== 0 FE: Rookies Freshmen 1-4 FE: Apprentices ADM 5-10 FE: Initiates Eligibles 11-20 FE: Adepts ---induction--- 21-30 FE: Champions Contenders 31+ FE: Challengers Primus All regular DM tourney classes will remain solely FE based. All ADM classes will now be based on warrior characteristics (i.e., the ADM split algorithm), including the Freshmen class. The Gateway and Primus arenas will be merging before the FTF to form one top arena. These warriors will be split into two tournament classes, the Contenders and the Primus classes, again based upon their characteristics. More information on this will be published in the newsletters for those arenas. If you have any questions about the above changes, please contact Customer Service. Good luck in your games. -- Green Eyes and the RSI staff