DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 11/19/2003    Duedate: 12/02/2003

SOLVEN ARENA

DM-22    TURN-469

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

HOMELESS PRINCE
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-6012) [18-2-0,198]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HOMELESS PRINCE                GIDEON
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          BIBLE BELTERS (364)
(22-6012) [18-2-0,198]         (22-3308) [2-0-0,29]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MORGAN                         FLAT TAX
WOMEN OF REALITY (669)         THE REPUBLICANS (103)
(22-5915) [16-13-1,114]        (22-5998) [9-12-0,52]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       62
2. THE ZOO (205)               44      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. BIBLE BELTERS (364)         38      Unchartered Team
4. WOMEN OF REALITY (669)      24
5. THE REPUBLICANS (103)       15      LOONEY (693)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   3   0  0  100   1/ 2 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    10  5 2
 2/ 0*LOONEY (693)               1   0  0  100   2/ 3 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    10  5 0
 3- 2*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)       6   2  1 75.0   3/ 1 SERPENTINE INC. (85)      9  6 0
 4/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     72  41  3 63.7   4/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     9  6 0
 5/ 4 ROCK ETTS (595)          400 278  7 59.0   5/ 5 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    7  5 0
 6/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    113  79  8 58.9   6/ 6 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      6  9 0
 7/ 6 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     128  99  6 56.4   7/ 7 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       5 10 1
 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   104  91  2 53.3   8/ 8 ROCK ETTS (595)           4  5 0
 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    306 281 23 52.1   9/13*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       3  3 0
10/ 0 MIRROR IMAGE (72)         25  23  3 52.1  10/ 9 THE ZOO (205)             3 11 0
11/12*BIBLE BELTERS (364)        3   3  0 50.0  11-12*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)  1  0 1
12-11*WAY OF THE SWORD C (688)   1   1  1 50.0  12/ 0*LOONEY (693)              1  0 0
13/10 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       98  99  8 49.7  13-11*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  1  0 0
14-14 OLD MCDONALD (621)       254 271 13 48.4  14-10*BREMEN SIX DAY (678)      1  0 0
15/13 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      49  53  1 48.0  15-15 OLD MCDONALD (621)        1  8 0
16/15 THE ZOO (205)            322 420  4 43.4  16/ 0 MIRROR IMAGE (72)         0  1 0
17-16*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)     0   2  0  0.0  17-16*BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)    0  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #19 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Skaithvarn:

     The Lord Dankilvan had given them temporary quarters in his mansion.  A suite
among the servants, but that was okay, the decor was less overpowering.
     Berdan looked around at the nearly plain hangings that covered the walls of the
central room in the suite and scowled.  "I don't like this," the ex-assassin growled.
"Sequestering us!  This Dankilvan is up to something."
     Raoul shrugged, took off his hat and looked at it, then put it back again.  The
gesture didn't mean anything, but it gave him time to think about his answer without
being rude.  And he was really tempted to be rude.  Berdan was repeating himself.
And the gladiator was getting tired of repeating his answer.  But one more time...
maybe it would get through this time.  "Lord Dankilvan is trying to keep Skaithvarn
out of Alastarian politics.  Can't blame him for that!  We don't want that
entanglement, either."
     "He's sending a Delarquan spy with us--"
     "A Delarquan gladiator who may or may not be a spy.  So?"
     "She'll be a spy.  Everything we do will be reported to this--"
     "Are you planning to do something you want to hide?" Jeri Northwind asked.
     Berdan jumped a little, having forgotten that she was there.  "No, but--"
     "Then it isn't a problem.  In fact," she exchanged a glance with Raoul, who
nodded slightly, "in fact, it's a good thing.  It means the S'varni won't have to
worry about what we might be up to, because they'll know what we ARE up to."
     "Right, doll.  And besides, better the spy we know and can see than one we
don't.  Surely you realize that, Berdan?"
     The ex-assassin sighed and shrugged.  "I suppose so."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene turned out to be an elf.  A southern elf, a dark-skinned Shagornan
elf, an elf of the kind deeply distrusted by the northern elves who figured in the
ancestry of all Fratsfan nobles.
     Berdan refused to have anything to do with her.  "And how Dankilvan, himself of
the High Blood, could actually employ her, trust her--!"  He stormed around their
sitting room, not quite throwing things but looking as though he wanted to.
     Hallie O'Dene watched quietly, showing no offense, nor any other reaction except
mild interest.  Leaning just a little toward Jeri, she asked, "Does he have a strong
heart?  Because he's a prime candidate for apoplexy right now."
     Jeri put a hand over her mouth to hold back a snort of laughter.  "I don't know
him that well," she admitted, "but fortunately, we can do this without him if we have
to."
     The Delarquan's eyebrows rose.  "You think he might abandon the mission just to
avoid working with me?"
     "He might, doll," Raoul said, coming to sit between the two of them on the
room's long couch as Berdan continued to rage up and down the room, cursing Hallie,
Raoul and Jeri, Peranis, Dankilvan, and other people they'd never heard of
comprehensively and bitterly.  "That doesn't worry me so much as that he might quit
us and try to go on without us--go into competition with us over it.  How much can we
trust him?  The man used to be a spy and an assassin, after all."
     "Well, it's as good as a play," Hallie said, "but Lord Dankilvan wants us to get
ON with things.  Maybe we should try to stop him?"
     Raoul shook his head.  "He's got to get through it, doll.  But maybe we should
get on with it ourselves.  Jeri and I are ready to go--we didn't unpack when we got
here."
     "Leave Berdan to follow when he calms down?" Jeri asked.
     "Or go back to Andor, if that's what he wants to do."  Raoul shrugged.  He
glanced at Jeri, who jumped up and grabbed a backpack.
     "I'm ready," she said.  As soon as Raoul and Hallie had picked up their packs,
she added, "What's the matter with this Leemith place that Lord Dankilvan mentioned?
He didn't seem to like them at all."
     Hallie led the way out the door.  "I've got horses waiting for us," she said.
"The Leemin, well, they're all vampires.  Generally good neighbors, but still, you
just don't trust a town full of vampires, do you?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): SAPPER of SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): DUMB, DUMB of RED DOG GANG (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): BANANA JR of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): UNDERGROUND BEAT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
                   (turn 474): SECRET of YOUNG JUSTICE (Rillion, mgr.)
                               NEVILLE of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 467): JUDITH of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): RAZORTOOTHROTEY of TOMATO ENFORCER (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hail warriors of Solven, it is I, Homeless Prince, your humble Duelmaster back
for our weekly fireside chat.  Good to see most of you made it out of the tourney
alive.  I was hoping to find out by now who the dead are, but we will just have to
wait a bit to find out.  All I know is that all of Kellumbo's Kids from this arena
made it out okay.
     If you are curious, I went 0-2, with a round one loss to Pishtush, and a round
two loss to a slasher who got the jump on me.  Things could have been worse I
suppose, as I am just happy to walk out of it alive.  On a side note, Skeemer appears
to have saved himself a trip to the Dark Arena by posting a 7-3 tourney, and picking
up some impressive skills along the way.  We will see if that new strategy will hold
up in the arena.
     Ahhh, Hiss.  I see we have a date this week.  As promised, you get both of my
challenges, TV and regular.  I hope you are doing the same.  I have a feeling it will
be the best fight I have seen in this arena since my last loss (thanks Pishtush, good
to see you leaving).  I figured I'd chance the bit of a loss in exchange for going
for the kill, so we'll see if it pays off or if you get the upset win.  
     Avoids are same as usual.  Pishtush beats me, and hey there little rattler, I'd
like to fight on my terms, not yours, so you get the other avoid.  Speaking of
avoids, why Morgan, why?  I had the fight all set up for us.  Speed vs. speed.  And
you avoid?  What gives?  I thought you'd want a shot at the title.  Guess not.
     As for Floyd.  It is good to see you are finally writing in this arena.  We'll
see if you get the chance to write the Duelmaster's Column next time or if you will
be stuck with the personal ads.  For what it is worth, it is good to see you actively
in this arena, even if you don't care for the Kids.
     On a final note, I am pretty sure that as long as I am alive when you are
reading this, that I will get my invite to the ADM.  That means with a little luck
vs. that little rattler, I only will have one column left in which to chat with you
all ( and who knows?  Perhaps this will be the last!).  So, I would like to take just
a minute of your time to let you all know how much I enjoy fighting in this arena.
Every one of you make this a heart pounding experience once every two weeks, and I
thank you all from the bottom of my heart for it.  Solven is a great arena because of
all of you.  I bow my head to you (except you there little rattler, cause you'd cut
it off.  I've got my eye on you, even if I am bowing to the others.  That's right!
Shoo, go away little snake!).
     Your humble Duelmaster,

                  Homeless Prince

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Say good-bye 
to SERPENTINE INC., as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the 
CONSPIRACY INC. stable.  It was a tough week for BREMEN SIX DAY, to drop 4 places in 
the rankings.  Coming up with a solid 2-2-0 outing, BIBLE BELTERS has advanced 4 
places in the rankings.  It looks like the guys(?) at CONSPIRACY INC. had a good week 
as they went 4-1-2 to put them in 1st place.  I guess steroids help!  Hey everybody, 
watch out for KANGAROO KATE, who flew up 28 points in the rankings after mashing 
PISHTUSH like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay 
to walk out on the sands.  MONTY PYTHON was defeated by GARY CONDIT and drops 53 
points.  Well here's a duelmaster that doesn't sit back and say 'Challenge me'!  
HOMELESS PRINCE made a TV challenge against HISS this week.  Our battling duelmaster 
HOMELESS PRINCE has managed to hold the title, fending off HISS' none too subtle 
advances.  Better luck next time, SERPENTINE INC..  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed 
protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that KELLUMBO'S KIDS was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of KELLUMBO'S KIDS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not 
be funny, but catch THE DEMOCRATS' act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be 
fairly deft at running from KELLUMBO'S KIDS.  Well just about everybody wants a piece 
of MERIAM, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Was it guts or an overtaxed 
mental capacity that had ROBERT BYRD challenge up 32 points in the rankings to take 
on WOF-A-MIT?  A Carrion Bird Sellout:  ROBERT BYRD 8-6-0 fights WOF-A-MIT 22-17-0.  
(BYOB) Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was TURKEY JOE, who was 
successfully challenged by SNAKE IN THE GRASS who had a mere 16 points more than 
TURKEY JOE.  Definition of petty:  SNAKE IN THE GRASS bested TURKEY JOE, a mismatch 
of 16 points.  ILSA SHE-WOLF of KELLUMBO'S KIDS had better have a good reason for 
challenging down 14 points in a challenge which she lost.  I thought ILSA SHE-WOLF 
showed great skill and promise when she was beat by GIREFFY.  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Carrion Bird Cinematic Humor:  JFK II:  THE 
REMATCH.  Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time is a very 
important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  Good luck in 
next week's fights.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick 
your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOMELESS PRINCE 6012         18   2  0   198       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOF-A-MIT 5639               22  17  0   129       ROCK ETTS (595)
 EDWIN MEESE 828              24  17  5   127       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 MORGAN 5915                  16  13  1   114       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 JUSTICE 5949                 17   8  0   110       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             15  17  1   110       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 HOW--LITE 5635               21  19  1   105       ROCK ETTS (595)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           16  24  1   101       THE ZOO (205)
 SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952      17   5  0   100       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 BEAR MARKET 6010              9  11  1    91       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 ROBERT BYRD 6039              8   6  0    91       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HISS 6017                    14   2  0    89       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             10   4  0    85       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 MONTY PYTHON 5939            18   7  0    82       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              16  31  0    79       THE ZOO (205)
 LEE 5831                     14  26  0    76       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              12   1  0    74       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 SKEEMER 5965                 13  10  0    71       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 16   6  3    70       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  11  1    70       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 DARKLE 5709                  11   5  0    69       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MCGRORY 5976                  5   1  1    65       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
 PLATINUM 5677                10  23  1    60       ROCK ETTS (595)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RUMSFELD 6032                 5  10  0    53       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 FLAT TAX 5998                 9  12  0    52       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           6   6  1    49       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-TWIN 562                      6   3  3    44       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
-MACRIBSI 6024                 7   5  0    40       OLD MCDONALD (621)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             4   3  1    33       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 VENOM 6059                    4   5  0    33       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
-SHUX 5788                     3   0  0    32       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
 GIDEON 3308                   2   0  0    29       BIBLE BELTERS (364)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STAEL 6071                    1   1  1    25       WAY OF THE SWORD C5 (688)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           4   0  0    23       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 DROOLMASTER 660               6   2  0    22       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             3   0  1    21       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-BARB 6060                     4   4  0    20       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 MERIAM 3305                   1   1  0    19       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
-SHATTER 561                   3   7  0    16       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 GIREFFY 6102                  1   3  0    16       THE ZOO (205)
 RATTLER 6075                  3   3  1    13       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 NERF 6105                     1   3  0    13       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
-REFLECTIONS 702               1   3  0    13       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 BROTHER JUSTIN 6127           1   0  0    11       LOONEY (693)
 SKANK 6114                    2   0  0    10       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 MARIE 6128                    1   0  0    10       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
-BORENSEN 6091                 0   2  0    10       BLOOD OF THE RAT (690)
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            2   1  0     7       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-LITTLE PONY 6106              0   1  0     7       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 ELAINE CHAO 6104              1   3  0     6       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-NOTHSTEIN 5977                1   1  0     4       BREMEN SIX DAY (678)
 LEE II 6129                   0   1  0     1       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 DA BAIT 6122                  0   1  0     1       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                0   1  0     1       THE ZOO (205)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DIDILY SQUAT 6066      4  3 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651    NANCY PELOSI 6076     467 JUST REV
SLUG III 3307          0  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     BANDIT PRINCE 408     469 NONE    
SLUG II 3306           0  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     DARK CHAMPION 407     469 NONE    
JFK 1660              18 21 1 THE DEMOCRATS 202     EDWIN MEESE 828       469         
BLIND BOY 6042         6  4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   MCGRORY 5976          466         
ZELORA 6068            3  5 0 THE ZOO 205           DARRELL ISSA 6108     469         
INARINDA 5913          8 21 1 THE ZOO 205           MAXIMUS 5966          465 NOT REVE
GARDEN GNOME 6095      2  1 0 THE ZOO 205           STAEL 6071            467         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

I am SOOOO tired of fighting Wof-a-Mit!  Does anyone else want to fight ? -- Meese

Macribsi -- I sure didn't expect that outcome when you broke my sword three swings
into the fight.  Who would think I could even scratch you with a dagger vs. plate ?
-- George

Floyd -- As much as I appreciate the sweet talk, calling me big bad Kellumbo and all,
I think you may be seeing things a little differently than they really are.  I do not
think I rule the arena, nor have I set my sights on you.  I think the person you want
to settle things with is our arena's Duelmaster, Homeless Prince.
     If you take the time to look back over the last couple months of personal ads,
you will not see anywhere ME bad-talking YOU.  For what it is worth, of course,
Prince has called out Hiss, so teach Prince a lesson.  I certainly don't blame you
one bit for that, if you can do it.
     I personally whole-heartedly agree with you philosophy of challenging in this
arena.  Too many people get caught up in the whole recognition point thing, and don't
pay attention to what you had to say regarding challenging.  You are 100% right about
people running 15-27 warriors, they deserve to be challenged and beaten on by the
younger pups in the arena, just like you said.
     As far as your "personal rule" of challenging "when a warrior has nearly double
my warrior's FE", which you think you have lived by, I invite you to check out turn
#450 where your Snake in the Grass (3-2 11 rec points) challenged and beat my Big
Bertha (1-2 8 rec points).  Uhhhh, no double the FE there.  So much for your
"personal rule" on when it is OK to downchallenge.  You will notice that before this
I did not have much to say about it as I think downchallenging is a perfectly fine
part of the game.  But, if you are going to talk about how righteous you are when you
do it, at least don't lie about it.
     Anyway, this is getting a little long.  I am willing to let this go at this
point.  However, if you wish to pursue this more, I will be forced to fill in those
tiny little wish to avoid boxes with Serpentine Inc. #85 for a while.  I know how
much it weighed on me this week.  Hope you understand.  Hugs and kisses, big boy. --
Detective Kellumbo

Robert Byrd -- Well done!  Excellent example of a young pup gunning for the top.
Good luck in getting this seat soon. -- Homeless Prince

Pishtush -- I guess it is a good thing I have been avoiding, huh? -- Prince

Flat Tax -- Congrats on the rating.  Very impressive. -- Kellumbo

Judge -- Congrats on graduating GB.  Nice win over Maximus also.  Too bad we won't
get the chance to settle best 2 out of 3. -- Detective Kellumbo

Gireffy -- Nothing personal, but I need this stat train, then I will leave you alone.
-- Ilsa She-Wolf, hooowwwwlllll!

Pishtush -- Yeah, it just breaks my heart to see you go.... -- Maximus

Bear Market -- I have never seen a bear move that fast. -- Darkle

Barb -- Not a good match up for you.  Let's do it again. -- Nerf

Nancy Pelosi -- Have you learned your lesson?  Do not kill Wimps.  No?  Well then,
look for Darkle this turn. -- Pishtush

Homeless Price -- I haven't challenged you here in the arena because I know you have
been avoiding me.  Now that I have beaten your socks off in the mail in tournament, I
think I will challenge you here in Solven.  This is my last fight here as I have been
called up.  Are you man (prince) enough to fight me?  I guess not. -- Pishtush

Elaine Chao -- I think that pointy thing was just a little to long for you to handle.
I'm glad you learned nothing. -- Skank

Floyd -- I understand your using the FE for the basis of your challenges.  I used to
do this myself.  I figured that if you had more fights than I did, it was a fair
challenge.  Then I found out that the rec points included the FE gained from
tournaments.  I challenged a guy with more fights than I had in the arena, but I was
bonked because I had fought many fights in the tournaments and the guy I challenged
had no tournament fights.  My down challenge was not really fair cause I had a lot
more FE that didn't show on the arena standings.  So now I use rec points unless
there is just a fight our two difference.  I can see that you are an honorable
manager, unlike your friend the defective.  If I decide to leave it is because I am
spread too thin across many arenas.  I don't think I can continue to run in all of
them.  I may go back to 105 and have to cut some basic arenas to make up for it.
Good luck. -- Wimpy

D.K. -- Four challenges against you and not one match up!!!  AARRGGHH!!  Oh well.
I'll be coming at you again this turn.  How are those challenges against Platinum
coming?  Such easy wins and skills too?  Must make it hard to stop challenging him!!
-- Floyd

Two Plus Two -- Sorry you had to get a challenge but you were my second choice and I
was running an anti-TP strat so my choices were limited. -- Hiss

Lee -- A valiant effort!! -- S.I.T.G

Gary Condit -- I should know better than to get mixed up with politicians. -- Turkey
Joe

Rumsfeld -- But come on over to our place and I'll give you a hot rum toddy.  That
should help make up for things, don't you think? -- Kangaroo Kate
P.S.  Not that anything NEEDS making up for, as it was your challenge, but just
because I'm feeling NICE.

Ilsa She-Wolf -- I never want to get too close to she-wolves!  Dangerous people, she-
wolves. -- Gireffy

Venom -- (staggers around ululating and collapses dramatically)  I've been poisoned!
-- Zelora

Floyd -- (startled look)  Have I complained? -- Turkey Joe
P.S.  More than a warrior normally complains, I mean.

All -- For those who pay attention to such things, Guantanamo Bay actually graduated.
I am a little bitter that he never held Solven's throne, and was forced to languish
in the Challenger Champions while Homeless Prince downchallenged lesser warriors, and
avoided GB's challenges.  Homeless Prince has brought great dishonor to our arena.
The Duelmaster should welcome all challenges.  GB is my first striker to graduate
from Solven, and at all.  I have now graduated 8 styles.  Only parry-riposte and
parry-striker remain.  GB's stats, for those who are interested, are 11(1)-4-13-17-
15-13(1)-13, Master in Decise, Ad. Exp. Attack, Experts in Riposte, Initiative and
Defense.  Favorite weapon is the Maul, MO/HI, learns Defense.  GB will hopefully
enjoy retirement. -- Judge

Floyd -- I have been using the broadsword to squeeze a few extra skills out of my
tards.  To varying results.  We should set up a match between Byrd and Monty.  Take
care. -- Al Gore

Skeemer -- Pretty sad that you have to pay for it.  I never had a problem getting a
date. -- Al Gore

Pishtush -- Nice bloodfeud.  Some 21 swings and not one hit. -- Al Gore

Homeless Prince -- I guess I overstepped myself.  A man has got to know his
limitations. -- Robert Byrd
P.S.  Thanks for the skills.

Darkle -- Nice fight.  You don't teach well though. -- Bear Market

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003

All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SLUG III was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SLUG II was slaughtered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
DARKLE subdued NANCY PELOSI in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
HOMELESS PRINCE vanquished HISS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title brawl.
ROBERT BYRD was subdued by WOF-A-MIT in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
MORGAN devastated HOW--LITE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SNAKE IN THE GRASS devastated TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
BLIND GIRL outwaited LEE in a dull 16 minute Challenge fight.
JFK was slaughtered by EDWIN MEESE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
SKEEMER vanquished RUMSFELD in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight.
FLAT TAX slimly lost to PLATINUM in a exciting 3 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
DARRELL ISSA narrowly killed ZELORA in a exciting 6 minute brutal Challenge fight.
ANTHONY SCALIA slimly won victory over NERF in a 5 minute Challenge conflict.
ILSA SHE-WOLF was subdued by GIREFFY in a 2 minute novice's Challenge brawl.
ELAINE CHAO was handily defeated by MERIAM in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
JUSTICE vanquished NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
MONTY PYTHON was vanquished by GARY CONDIT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BEAR MARKET was devastated by GUANTANAMO BAY in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
PISHTUSH was savagely defeated by KANGAROO KATE in a popular 7 minute veteran's bout.
MAXIMUS was bested by GEORGE BUSH in a 2 minute gory contest.
SCHWARZENEGGER savagely defeated THE HONEST MERCHANT in a exciting 4 minute gory duel.
RATTLER was handily defeated by GIDEON in a 1 minute uneven duel.
DROOLMASTER was bested by VENOM in a 1 minute bout.
SKANK subdued LEE II in a 2 minute novice's fight.
KALAMAZOO was vanquished by MARIE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DA BAIT was vanquished by BROTHER JUSTIN in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         STRIKING ATTACK   45 -  20 -  1      69  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  31 -  2      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  17 -  1      55  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         PARRY-LUNGE       31 -  28 -  3      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         AIMED BLOW        13 -  14 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         LUNGING ATTACK    45 -  54 -  5      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  15 -  0      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  10 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  34 -  1      33  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  22 -  0      29  |

Turn 469 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  1     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  4         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  HOMELESS PRINCE 6012       18   2  0  198 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
PARRY-LUNGE      WOF-A-MIT 5639             22  17  0  129 ROCK ETTS (595)
LUNGING ATTACK   EDWIN MEESE 828            24  17  5  127 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               17   8  0  110 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
SLASHING ATTACK  HOW--LITE 5635             21  19  1  105 ROCK ETTS (595)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 5939          18   7  0   82 SERPENTINE INC. (85)
TOTAL PARRY      BLIND GIRL 6041            12   1  0   74 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
FLAT TAX 5998.  The ten other most popular fighters were ZELORA 6068, KANGAROO KATE 
5900, SCHWARZENEGGER 6050, GEORGE BUSH 1708, HOMELESS PRINCE 6012, ROBERT BYRD 6039, 
PLATINUM 5677, DARRELL ISSA 6108, ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107, and RUMSFELD 6032.

The least popular fighter this week was LEE 5831.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BLIND GIRL 6041, DA BAIT 6122, KALAMAZOO 6116, RATTLER 6075, ELAINE 
CHAO 6104, JFK 1660, TURKEY JOE 5825, HOW--LITE 5635, HISS 6017, and SLUG II 3306.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

HOMELESS PRINCE (22-6012) KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
EDWIN MEESE (22-828) CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
HOW--LITE (22-5635) ROCK ETTS (595)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

PISHTUSH (22-5651) ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
GUANTANAMO BAY (22-5826) THE REPUBLICANS (103)