Date   : 12/03/2003    Duedate: 12/16/2003


DM-22    TURN-470

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-5639) [23-17-0,142]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

WOF-A-MIT                      SHUX
ROCK ETTS (595)                4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
(22-5639) [23-17-0,142]        (22-5788) [3-1-0,30]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MORGAN                         HISS
(22-5915) [17-13-1,125]        (22-6017) [14-3-0,82]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BAD INVENTIONS (683)        48
2. THE POISON CLAN (692)       46      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. WOMEN OF REALITY (669)      35      Unchartered Team
4. ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)        34
5. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       26      THE POISON CLAN (692)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*THE POISON CLAN (692)      5   0  0  100   1/ 2 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    10  4 0
 2/ 0*VAPOUR (684)               1   0  0  100   2/ 1 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     9  6 2
 3/ 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   3   1  0 75.0   3/ 3 SERPENTINE INC. (85)      9  6 0
 4/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     74  44  3 62.7   4/ 6 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      8  6 0
 5/ 5 ROCK ETTS (595)          401 279  7 59.0   5/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     8  7 0
 6/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    115  82  8 58.4   6/ 5 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    7  5 0
 7/ 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     131 101  6 56.5   7/ 0*THE POISON CLAN (692)     5  0 0
 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   108  92  2 54.0   8/ 7 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       5 10 0
 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    309 282 23 52.3   9/ 8 ROCK ETTS (595)           4  4 0
10-10 MIRROR IMAGE (72)         25  23  3 52.1  10/ 9*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       3  5 0
11/ 2*LOONEY (693)               1   1  0 50.0  11/10 THE ZOO (205)             3 11 0
12/13 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      100 102  8 49.5  12/ 0*BAD INVENTIONS (683)      2  3 0
13/15 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      52  54  1 49.1  13/ 0*VAPOUR (684)              1  0 0
14/14 OLD MCDONALD (621)       255 274 13 48.2  14/12*LOONEY (693)              1  1 0
15/16 THE ZOO (205)            322 425  4 43.1  15/15 OLD MCDONALD (621)        1  8 0
16/ 0*BAD INVENTIONS (683)       2   3  0 40.0  16-16 MIRROR IMAGE (72)         0  1 0
17/11*BIBLE BELTERS (364)        3   5  0 37.5  17/13*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  0  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #20 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Raoul glanced over his shoulder, but Dankilvan's mansion was already out of
sight around one of the street's numerous curves.  He wasn't sure Berdan had even
noticed their departure yet; at least, the Fratsfan wasn't coming along behind them.
He shrugged and turned forward again.  As he'd told Hallie, they could do this
mission without Berdan if they had to, and looked like that was the way it was going
to be.  He looked at the Delarquan.  "Tell us more about these vampires in Leemith,
doll.  Are they going to be a problem to deal with?  Do they attack chance
     "Well...not instantly, anyway."  Hallie pulled a couple of pocket-sized leather
folders from a belt pouch, handing one to each gladiator.  "These are passes signed
by Lord Dankilvan and naming you as being on business for Istoreth.  If you get a
chance to show the pass, that should give you some protection.  Of course, if we meet
someone who's working for, oh, Sharvan or Pantiello, or even Ulm, maybe, then the
passes will get us INTO trouble...."
     "Those being other city-states here, I take it?"
     "Yep.  The Ulmers are probably okay, they've got some kind of trade treaty with
Convincia.  But if the Leemin don't want whatever it is your Peranis is selling, I
bet the Sharvanese will."
     "These Sharvanese have Delarquan ties?" Jeri asked.
     "No, ISTORETH has Delarquan ties," Hallie corrected her.  "Sharvan isn't a
player in Trier politics.  Yet.  But they want to be."
     "And Peranis' book of names and blackmail material would give them their ticket
to the party," Raoul finished.  "Damn."  He scowled at the crowded street and the
city gate ahead of them without seeing any of it.  "What's the political stance of
this Leemith place?"
     "Mostly they just want to be left alone," Hallie answered promptly.  "If they
buy the list of names, it would be some lord doing it for personal profit, I would
guess.  Nobody's ever suggested they want to be a power in the Trier."
     Raoul nodded, his attention returning to his companions.  "So Peranis might be
able to sell it in Leemith if he's in a hurry, but he'd probably get more money, and
cause more trouble for Andorian, if he takes it to Sharvan?"
     "Yes.  That'd be how I see it."  Hallie glanced at Raoul.  "Whose names are on
this list?"
     "According to Berdan, noblemen, politicians, merchants, even some arena
managers--people who make a big noise in Andorian politics and the Andorian economy."
     "People with secrets they'd pay a lot--or do a lot--to keep hidden."
     "Hmm."  Hallie showed her own pass at the city's gate and indicated her
companions with a gesture.  "They're with me."  She led the way through the gate and
onto the open road.
     "We might've asked how long ago Peranis went through," Jeri said, urging her
mount up beside Hallie's.
     "I already did.  Two days.  It's one day from here to Leemith, another day to
Ulm, a third to Sharvan, moving at a normal traveling pace.  Peranis may already have
made his deal in Leemith, if he found a purchaser there."
     Raoul glanced at the sky.  It was midmorning, clear and crisp.  Maybe eight
hours of daylight left, he judged.  "Let's pick up our pace a little, then, so we can
make inquiries in Leemith this evening."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     The road hugged the coast, sometimes running along the narrow, stony beach,
sometimes veering inland to cross small, steep-sided valleys, occasionally clinging
to a cliff above the water.  They met no one coming from the south, and were
overtaken by no coming from behind them.  There were no villages or inns along the
road.  A dense pine forest covered most of the land near the road.
     "You could BELIEVE in vampires in a place like this," Jeri muttered, twisting to
reach the cloak tied behind her saddle.  The temperature had dropped steadily all
morning, and now, looking north, she saw why.  A bank of clouds filled the northern
sky with shades of slate and charcoal.
     "Of course.  What's to disbelieve?  I never argue with the facts, doll," Raoul
said.  He glanced over at her--they were riding all three abreast--and followed her
gaze northward.  "Damn.  Any place along here where we could take shelter?"
     "Not that I know of," Hallie admitted, squinting at the clouds uneasily.  "We
might come across something, I suppose, but would YOU trust any shelter you found
along here under these circumstances?  Bound to be a disaster waiting to happen."
     "We don't have much choice," Jeri argued.  "If we can find ANYTHING, a house, a
ruin, a CAVE, even, I'm for it!"  She kicked her horse into a better pace.  "We know
there's no shelter behind us, almost all the way back to Istoreth, so--"  The horse
seemed to share her dislike of storms and willingly shifted into a pounding gallop
down the hill into the next little valley.
     Almost hidden among the trees was the curved stone wall of a stubby tower.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): MONKEY WRENCH of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): BARNEE of THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): ANASTASIA of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): BLACK CAT of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): GORDIAN of WHY KNOT (Clove-Hitch, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): I'M WITH STUPID (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): HUSHPUPPY of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                   (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
                           EDWIN MEESE of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
                           HOW--LITE of ROCK ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.)
               (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
                            SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            PYROTECHNICIAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): THE LIMELIGHT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     They say saying good-bye is the hardest thing....  Dearest warriors of Solven,
greatest arena in all the lands of Alastari, I bring you greetings.  It is I,
Homeless Prince, your Duelmaster with a final offering to you, great warriors of
Solven.  As the cold winter winds start to blow, and the snow and ice begin to settle
upon our great land, it is with heavy heart that I say farewell.  It has been an
honor and a privilege fighting beside you these last 20 turns long.
     I must say, last turn got my heart pounding like never before.  Win vs. Hiss,
and I get my invite, find out my favorites, and most likely leave on a nice winning
streak upon the Duelmasters throne.  A loss, and shame, oh shame.  But Lady Luck
shone down upon me two weeks prior.  I wonder what would happen if Hiss and I fought
ten times with the same strategy.  Would the outcome be the same again?  I wonder.
Hitting my attack location each time but once, and nary a parry or dodge on the
rattler's part.  I will take what I get.  Well done Hiss, for reaching so high so
soon.  I am sure you will take your place as Duelmaster of Solven soon.
     Speaking of taking the throne, it seems like just yesterday I beat an aimed-blow
to take the throne.  I find it only fitting I should leave the same way.  Kangaroo
Kate, the challenge is yours.  If I win, great, if not, I can think of no team more
deserving of the throne than Leeta and The Zoo.  Fighting all warriors each turn.  No
dark arena fights.  Personal ads each turn.  You are a fantastic part of the arena.
     Judge on the other hand, has spoken out of his ass once again.  Saying that I
have brought great dishonor to the arena;  You must be out of your mind.  Just
because your precious .500 fighter did not get challenged for the throne, you whine
like a little girl.  Saying the Duelmaster should welcome all challenges, and not
avoid, is plain stupid.  Tell us Judge, go ahead, fill us in on all of your other
rules to this fighting business that you think we should all adhere to.
     Perhaps to ban TP's in the arena.  While you're at it, outlaw Plate Armor.  Get
rid of downchallenging and avoids too.  Tell us oh wise one, what other rules do we
need to know so you will not complain?  Who knows, if you had *asked* for a shot, you
may have gotten one.  As it was, you seemed pretty happy to have GB rack up half of
your wins each turn.  (That's right, half of 2 is 1).
     So to you Judge, I say this.  I never missed a turn in the arena.  I fought in
all tourneys I could.  I wrote a column each turn.  I tried to make this arena more
fun.  That is something you obviously have no concept of.  Good luck graduating those
last two styles.  Maybe then you and your 52% record will feel as if you accomplished
something.  It was nice having you more or less shut up the last few months (hard to
run your mouth when you are losing, isn't it?).  I am sure this will bring it to an
end.  I will be in arena 105, so send your best.
     To the rest of the arena, fight well, and uphold the great arena that Solven is.
It has been my privilege.  I thank you all.

-- Homeless Prince

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Say good-bye to CONSPIRACY INC., as they are 
pushed from the coveted top team spot by the THE REPUBLICANS stable.  A stormcloud is 
brewing over the 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS guildhouse.  Rumor says any more weeks like 
this ones 0-1-0 may send the team to the Dark Arena.  WOMEN OF REALITY is no joke as 
it posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 5th place to 6th place.  Call it luck at the 
right time or bribes in the right hands, but the new team THE POISON CLAN scored a 
5-0-0 record this week.  BAD INVENTIONS:  Not great, but not bad.  Keep up the work 
and look forward to having better success as your warriors become more seasoned.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  GARY CONDIT lost to MORGAN 
and drops 19 points.  Unlike most arenas, HOMELESS PRINCE managed to get his 
challenge off against the 16-24-1 KANGAROO KATE.  Well, everybody's pal HOMELESS 
PRINCE moved his record to 19-2-0 by defeating KANGAROO KATE in the Duelmaster's 
Title Bout and gaining 8 recognition points.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect 
the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the SOLVEN arena.  Here's a 
song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad SERPENTINE INC.?   Big bad SERPENTINE 
INC..  Big bad SERPENTINE INC..  SOLVEN's afraid of the big bad SERPENTINE INC..  Tra 
la la la la!  For those of you who like math, try this one:  SERPENTINE INC. + 
Weapons That go Boom = KELLUMBO'S KIDS + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants 
a piece of NANCY PELOSI, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Was it guts or 
an overtaxed mental capacity that had ROBERT BYRD challenge up 36 points in the 
rankings to take on EDWIN MEESE?  I don't know about you, but when I saw ROBERT BYRD 
step out on the sands with EDWIN MEESE, I though it was over before it started.  Good 
upset ROBERT BYRD!  Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was ILSA SHE-WOLF, 
who was successfully challenged by VENOM who had a mere 26 points more than ILSA 
SHE-WOLF.  Definition of petty:  VENOM overcame ILSA SHE-WOLF, a mismatch of 26 
points.  In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, GIDEON went after 
SCHWARZENEGGER, who was higher by 20 points.  Well, when the dust settled, GIDEON 
lost to SCHWARZENEGGER.  HISS of SERPENTINE INC. had better have a good reason for 
challenging down 15 points in a TV challenge which it lost.  I thought HISS showed 
great skill and promise when it was overcame by BLIND GIRL.  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, EDWIN MEESE was 
mashed by ROBERT BYRD, who let EDWIN MEESE know that killing members of THE DEMOCRATS 
is a no-no.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly 
buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  And remember, you can pick your 
friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOF-A-MIT 5639               23  17  0   142       ROCK ETTS (595)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MORGAN 5915                  17  13  1   125       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 ROBERT BYRD 6039              9   6  0   110       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952      18   5  0   105       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           16  25  1    99       THE ZOO (205)
 JUSTICE 5949                 17   9  0    98       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 BEAR MARKET 6010             10  11  1    97       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              13   1  0    93       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             11   4  0    92       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             15  18  1    91       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MONTY PYTHON 5939            19   7  0    88       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 HISS 6017                    14   3  0    82       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 LEE 5831                     15  26  0    81       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TURKEY JOE 5825              16  32  0    80       THE ZOO (205)
 DARKLE 5709                  12   5  0    77       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 16   7  3    71       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  12  1    71       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 SKEEMER 5965                 13  11  0    67       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PLATINUM 5677                10  24  1    59       ROCK ETTS (595)
 RUMSFELD 6032                 6  10  0    58       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 FLAT TAX 5998                10  12  0    57       THE REPUBLICANS (103)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           7   6  1    55       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MACRIBSI 6024                 8   5  0    44       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-TWIN 562                      6   3  3    44       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 VENOM 6059                    5   5  0    35       SERPENTINE INC. (85)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BARB 6060                     5   4  0    31       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 SHUX 5788                     3   1  0    30       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
 SKANK 6114                    3   0  0    28       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           5   0  0    27       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 GIDEON 3308                   2   1  0    24       BIBLE BELTERS (364)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             4   4  1    23       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-DROOLMASTER 660               6   2  0    22       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 NERF 6105                     2   3  0    20       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             3   1  1    17       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 MARIE 6128                    2   0  0    17       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 MERIAM 3305                   1   2  0    17       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 FRESH LIMBERGER 6018          1   0  0    17       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
-SHATTER 561                   3   7  0    16       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 ICE TOASTER 6020              1   0  0    14       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 THE TOAD 6121                 1   0  0    14       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-REFLECTIONS 702               1   3  0    13       MIRROR IMAGE (72)
 THE SCORPION 6117             1   0  0    12       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 THE SNAKE 6119                1   0  0    11       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            2   2  0     9       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 GIREFFY 6102                  1   4  0     9       THE ZOO (205)
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
 LITTLE PONY 6106              0   2  0     8       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 TWIST TIE 6019                0   1  0     7       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 THE LIZARD 6120               1   0  0     6       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 CHIA PET 6022                 0   1  0     5       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 BROTHER JUSTIN 6127           1   1  0     4       LOONEY (693)
 THE CENTIPEDE 6118            1   0  0     3       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 DARK HEAVEN 6037              1   0  0     3       VAPOUR (684)
 LEE II 6129                   0   2  0     2       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                0   2  0     2       THE ZOO (205)
 ZOOIE 6152                    0   1  0     1       THE ZOO (205)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           0   1  0     1       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DA BAIT 6122           0  2 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651    MOUNTAIN TROLL 401    470 NONE    
DIDILY SQUAT 6066      4  3 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651    NANCY PELOSI 6076     467 JUST REV
PET ROCK 6023          0  1 0 BAD INVENTIONS 683    BANDIT PRINCE 408     470 NONE    
ELAINE CHAO 6104       1  4 0 CONSPIRACY INC. 100   STONE GOLEM 409       470 NONE    
JFK 1660              18 21 1 THE DEMOCRATS 202     EDWIN MEESE 828       469 JUST REV
BLIND BOY 6042         6  4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   MCGRORY 5976          466 NOT REVE
BLONK 6143             0  1 0 OLD MCDONALD 621      SPYMASTER 405         470 NONE    

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
RATTLER 6075           3  4 1 SERPENTINE INC. 85    SPYMASTER 405         470 NONE    
ZELORA 6068            3  5 0 THE ZOO 205           DARRELL ISSA 6108     469         
GARDEN GNOME 6095      2  1 0 THE ZOO 205           STAEL 6071            467         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Nancy Pelosi -- Again we must remind you, it is not a good idea to kill Wimps. --

Anthony Scalia -- Thank you for your challenge.  I am ready anytime.  I don't like
the loss, but I love the 5 skills. -- Nerf

Kangaroo Kate -- I had hoped to be able to sneak a challenge through to the DM, but
since it didn't go through due to his avoid, you were the match up.  I hated to go
out with a loss, but against you there was no choice. -- Pishtush

Lee II -- Get real.  You need to invest in some endurance.  Try again sometime. --

Brother Justin -- As you might guess I was not planning on fighting you, or anyone
other than the Dark Arena.  Something got fouled up.  I hope you enjoyed the win. --
DA Bait

Al Gore -- Wow!  Did anyone else catch the irony of your JFK dying last Saturday when
the newsletter was posted?  Weird.... -- Detective Kellumbo

Judge -- I am guessing you are pretty pleased with the outcome of the Rumsfeld vs.
Skeemer fight, even if you did not win that one.  Things should get much better for
him.  Good luck. -- DK
P.S.  Did you notice it was an upchallenge also???  Wow, only 11 months to go to
break even.

Lee -- You know, it was a pretty boring fight until you stopped to listen to what
Blind Girl was saying to you the whole fight.  Then it was pretty funny.  Oh, even I
didn't see those skills coming for Blind Girl.  Do you teach rocket science in your
spare time?  Wow! -- DK

George Bush -- Just how much tourney experience do you have anyway? -- Maximus, the
humbled cancer of the arena etc...

Gireffy -- That'll teach me to open my big She-Wolf mouth....Howl....er...
howwwllll....er...forget it.

Floyd -- Those challenges with Platinum are coming fine when I can get them and you
can't.  How did Judge manage to lose to Platinum last turn?  Heck, I think she is
trying to lose.  Terrible fighter, just terrible. -- Kellumbo

Pishtush -- Of course I won't fight you.  That would be stupid. -- Prince

Al Gore -- You are right.  It is sad I had to pay for it.  Sadder still that it was
your mom, wouldn't you say? -- Skeemer

D.K. -- I probably went a little overboard with my personal ad to you the other turn
but sometimes I get a little hotheaded!!  As for my downchallenge on you on turn #450
that you mentioned, all I can say is oops!  I am not perfect, sometimes one nasty
challenge sneaks through now and then.  I will keep challenging you though.  I need
to tag a few losses on you if for no other reason than you are ranked ahead of me in
the team rankings. -- Floyd

Al Gore -- Never mind about my broadsword comments!!!!! -- Monty Python

Wimpy -- Sorry to see you leave but I'll cross swords with you over in Aradi.  I'll
be reactivating there in the next few turns to prep for the Face. -- Floyd

Mirror Image -- Welcome back!!  I used to co-manage a team here in the early 80's
called Mage's Minions before I started Serpentine Inc.  I believe your warrior Twin
killed 3 of my warriors on 3 consecutive turns!!  I'm glad to see you are back but I
hope you are much less bloodthirsty than before!! -- Floyd

Homeless Prince -- WOW!!  That was very embarrassing!  You completely dominated me.
That was the first fight I have had where I did not even dodge or parry once!!  For
now you are the better warrior.  My hat is off to you.  Perhaps we can have a rematch
in a few turns on the Isle!! -- Hiss

Elaine Chao -- M'lady, you must not put yourself in those "decidedly precarious
positions"! -- Meriam

Rattler -- Thou doth rattle easily.  *grin* -- Gideon

All -- Greetings, friends and foes alike.  I have returned to the gladiator ring
after many seasons away.  Now that this young team has ground the rust from their
blades, let us welcome your challenges. -- Woelfe, mgr. Bible Belters

Snake in the Grass -- You...you bit me!  On the toe! -- Turkey Joe, the stunned and

Darrell Issa -- I warn you now, I will NEVER again teach you that many skills! --
Ghost of Zelora
P.S.  And if I think of a really juicy curse, you're FOR it.

Ilsa She-Wolf -- Bad manners, and not at all lady-like, but I have to say I enjoyed
that fight. -- Gireffy
P.S.  What has fighting me to do with stat trains?  Surely you don't subscribe to
that ancient myth that it's easier to train a stat on a loss?

Pishtush -- Classic, was it not? -- Kangaroo Kate

Marie -- (bitterly)  I try to be polite, and what do you do?  You bury me in the
sand.  Gods, the inscrutability of women! -- Kalamazoo

Hiss -- We run into some good fights and win and some we lost. -- Elderberry

Ouch!  Bad turn for me.  At least it can't get worse. -- Al Gore

Wimpy -- I learned. -- Nancy Pelosi

Monty -- Thanks for all those skills. -- G. Condit

G-Bay -- Good riddance. -- Bear Market

Wof-A-Mit -- You're lucky Byrd didn't pull his dagger.  If he did, you would have
lost.  I'm looking forward to a rematch. -- Al Gore

Darkle -- Nice comeback.  Thanks for the skills. -- Al Gore

Edwin Meese -- I would be upset about JFK.  But timing is everything.  Talk about
freaky coincidences.  I was hoping somebody would kill him for me, that is why he ran
without armor.  Thanks for saving me the trouble of running a mediocre fighter.
We'll see if I feel like BF'ing or not. -- Al Gore

All -- I hope everybody had a good holiday. -- Al Gore

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003
All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

2 December 2003
ZalCon2, ZalCon Reloaded
Where:  Jhelum, DM 4
When:  February 9th or 23rd, 2003 (TBA when Mail In date set)
How Long:  20 Turns

Restrictions:  Zero FE at start of contest.  Must announce warrior styles by second
arena fight to receive points.  No prize modified warriors.  No entry to July Face,
No TV Challenges.  All prizes to be used exclusively on warriors from the contest
team only.

     First Initiate Duelmaster (FID):  First warrior announced in the contest to
          reach the throne.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, increasing damage for 1 warrior by one rating to
          max for ST/SZ.
     Warrior MVP:  Top warrior based on MVP points accrued in the contest.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge for any warrior on team, +1
          to bonus in any skill area up to max for style for 1 warrior on team, 2
          nights stay at Winter FTF Hotel.
     Team MVP:  Top Team based on MVP points accrued in contest by all the teams
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge, +1 to Bonus, 6 Months Free
          Play, 20 Rollups.
     Warrior MVP Top 11:  Next 10 warriors on MVP list at the end of the contest.
     Prize:  +1 to Bonus
     Style Master:  Top warrior in each style based on Style Master points accrued in
          the contest.
     Prize:  Favorites Knowledge of any warrior on team.
     Iron Manager Award:  Minimum 95 fights in contest by any team.
     Prize:  Choice of free entry for team to 2005 Winter Face or +1 to Bonus for one

MVP Point System:  +1 for Win, Fight, Kill, Recognition Leader (after Round 3), -1
Death, +2 Duelmaster, +2 each 3 Consecutive turns as DM, +1 Quality Win (any win over
opponent with 5 or more Rec), +1 for each 10 Rec points over 5 in win (+1 for 5-14
above, +2 for 15-24 above, +3 for 25-34 above).
Style Master Point System:  +2 Style Master, +1 Win vs. Same Style Opponent, +1 Win
vs. Same Style Master, +1 for 3 Consecutive Turns as Style Master (rolling).

     Please direct any question about rules or clarifications to me, Robert
Occhipinti, via Diplo to DM74, 1988 Dodgers or email to zalgor@hotmail.com.  All
rules decisions made by me are final and binding within the confines of this contest.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RATTLER was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
ELAINE CHAO was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
DA BAIT was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
PET ROCK was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
BLONK was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
SKANK unbelievably bested NANCY PELOSI in a 3 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
HOMELESS PRINCE savagely defeated KANGAROO KATE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
HISS was outwaited by BLIND GIRL in a action packed 7 minute expert's Challenge duel.
ROBERT BYRD vanquished EDWIN MEESE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
GARY CONDIT was overpowered by MORGAN in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
DARKLE defeated SKEEMER in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge match.
TWO PLUS TWO was bested by MONTY PYTHON in a 4 minute master's Challenge conflict.
VENOM subdued ILSA SHE-WOLF in a popular 2 minute Challenge brawl.
GIDEON was handily defeated by SCHWARZENEGGER in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
DARRELL ISSA was savagely defeated by BARB in a 3 minute Challenge struggle.
MERIAM was luckily beaten by ANTHONY SCALIA in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
NERF slimly won victory over GIREFFY in a 3 minute brutal novice's Challenge brawl.
SNAKE IN THE GRASS demolished TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
JUSTICE was savagely defeated by WOF-A-MIT in a 4 minute master's Title fight.
BEAR MARKET overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MAXIMUS was subdued by GEORGE BUSH in a 1 minute bout.
LEE handily defeated PLATINUM in a unpopular 6 minute gory uneven duel.
FLAT TAX subdued CIVILIZED CRIMINAL in a 1 minute gory fight.
MACRIBSI viciously subdued SHUX in a slow 13 minute gruesome match.
RUMSFELD savagely defeated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a exciting 1 minute gruesome bout.
BROTHER JUSTIN was beaten by THE SCORPION in a 1 minute beginner's duel.
MARIE overpowered CHIA PET in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LEE II was overcome by THE LIZARD in a 1 minute novice's duel.
LITTLE PONY was overpowered by ICE TOASTER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
KALAMAZOO was handily defeated by THE SNAKE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
FRESH LIMBERGER subdued ZOOIE in a 4 minute fight.
TWIST TIE was luckily beaten by DARK HEAVEN in a tiring 13 minute novice's bout.
THE TOAD subdued TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 6 minute beginner's contest.
THE CENTIPEDE defeated CAROL M. BRAUN in a tiresome 6 minute novice's struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         STRIKING ATTACK   46 -  23 -  1      67  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         TOTAL PARRY       42 -  32 -  2      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 10         WALL OF STEEL     22 -  19 -  1      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         PARRY-LUNGE       30 -  29 -  2      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         LUNGING ATTACK    50 -  54 -  5      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         AIMED BLOW        12 -  15 -  1      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     13 -  17 -  0      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    14 -  32 -  0      30  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  22 -  0      29  |

Turn 470 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        7 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  5     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      WOF-A-MIT 5639             23  17  0  142 ROCK ETTS (595)
STRIKING ATTACK  MORGAN 5915                17  13  1  125 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   ROBERT BYRD 6039            9   6  0  110 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               17   9  0   98 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
TOTAL PARRY      BLIND GIRL 6041            13   1  0   93 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 5939          19   7  0   88 SERPENTINE INC. (85)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
HISS 6017.  The ten other most popular fighters were MONTY PYTHON 5939, BARB 6060, 
MERIAM 3305, JUSTICE 5949, and MORGAN 5915.

The least popular fighter this week was DARK HEAVEN 6037.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were TWIST TIE 6019, THE CENTIPEDE 6118, MACRIBSI 6024, LEE 5831, 
6106, and CHIA PET 6022.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

WOF-A-MIT (22-5639) ROCK ETTS (595)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

HOW--LITE (22-5635) ROCK ETTS (595)