DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER Date : 12/03/2003 Duedate: 12/16/2003 SOLVEN ARENA DM-22 TURN-470 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS WOF-A-MIT ROCK ETTS (595) (22-5639) [23-17-0,142] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader WOF-A-MIT SHUX ROCK ETTS (595) 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663) (22-5639) [23-17-0,142] (22-5788) [3-1-0,30] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite MORGAN HISS WOMEN OF REALITY (669) SERPENTINE INC. (85) (22-5915) [17-13-1,125] (22-6017) [14-3-0,82] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM THE REPUBLICANS (103) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. BAD INVENTIONS (683) 48 2. THE POISON CLAN (692) 46 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 3. WOMEN OF REALITY (669) 35 Unchartered Team 4. ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 34 5. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 26 THE POISON CLAN (692) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*THE POISON CLAN (692) 5 0 0 100 1/ 2 THE REPUBLICANS (103) 10 4 0 2/ 0*VAPOUR (684) 1 0 0 100 2/ 1 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) 9 6 2 3/ 1*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663) 3 1 0 75.0 3/ 3 SERPENTINE INC. (85) 9 6 0 4/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 74 44 3 62.7 4/ 6 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 8 6 0 5/ 5 ROCK ETTS (595) 401 279 7 59.0 5/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) 8 7 0 6/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) 115 82 8 58.4 6/ 5 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) 7 5 0 7/ 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85) 131 101 6 56.5 7/ 0*THE POISON CLAN (692) 5 0 0 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) 108 92 2 54.0 8/ 7 THE DEMOCRATS (202) 5 10 0 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103) 309 282 23 52.3 9/ 8 ROCK ETTS (595) 4 4 0 10-10 MIRROR IMAGE (72) 25 23 3 52.1 10/ 9*BIBLE BELTERS (364) 3 5 0 11/ 2*LOONEY (693) 1 1 0 50.0 11/10 THE ZOO (205) 3 11 0 12/13 THE DEMOCRATS (202) 100 102 8 49.5 12/ 0*BAD INVENTIONS (683) 2 3 0 13/15 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) 52 54 1 49.1 13/ 0*VAPOUR (684) 1 0 0 14/14 OLD MCDONALD (621) 255 274 13 48.2 14/12*LOONEY (693) 1 1 0 15/16 THE ZOO (205) 322 425 4 43.1 15/15 OLD MCDONALD (621) 1 8 0 16/ 0*BAD INVENTIONS (683) 2 3 0 40.0 16-16 MIRROR IMAGE (72) 0 1 0 17/11*BIBLE BELTERS (364) 3 5 0 37.5 17/13*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663) 0 1 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #20 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + Skaithvarn: Raoul glanced over his shoulder, but Dankilvan's mansion was already out of sight around one of the street's numerous curves. He wasn't sure Berdan had even noticed their departure yet; at least, the Fratsfan wasn't coming along behind them. He shrugged and turned forward again. As he'd told Hallie, they could do this mission without Berdan if they had to, and looked like that was the way it was going to be. He looked at the Delarquan. "Tell us more about these vampires in Leemith, doll. Are they going to be a problem to deal with? Do they attack chance travelers?" "Well...not instantly, anyway." Hallie pulled a couple of pocket-sized leather folders from a belt pouch, handing one to each gladiator. "These are passes signed by Lord Dankilvan and naming you as being on business for Istoreth. If you get a chance to show the pass, that should give you some protection. Of course, if we meet someone who's working for, oh, Sharvan or Pantiello, or even Ulm, maybe, then the passes will get us INTO trouble...." "Those being other city-states here, I take it?" "Yep. The Ulmers are probably okay, they've got some kind of trade treaty with Convincia. But if the Leemin don't want whatever it is your Peranis is selling, I bet the Sharvanese will." "These Sharvanese have Delarquan ties?" Jeri asked. "No, ISTORETH has Delarquan ties," Hallie corrected her. "Sharvan isn't a player in Trier politics. Yet. But they want to be." "And Peranis' book of names and blackmail material would give them their ticket to the party," Raoul finished. "Damn." He scowled at the crowded street and the city gate ahead of them without seeing any of it. "What's the political stance of this Leemith place?" "Mostly they just want to be left alone," Hallie answered promptly. "If they buy the list of names, it would be some lord doing it for personal profit, I would guess. Nobody's ever suggested they want to be a power in the Trier." Raoul nodded, his attention returning to his companions. "So Peranis might be able to sell it in Leemith if he's in a hurry, but he'd probably get more money, and cause more trouble for Andorian, if he takes it to Sharvan?" "Yes. That'd be how I see it." Hallie glanced at Raoul. "Whose names are on this list?" "According to Berdan, noblemen, politicians, merchants, even some arena managers--people who make a big noise in Andorian politics and the Andorian economy." "People with secrets they'd pay a lot--or do a lot--to keep hidden." "Right." "Hmm." Hallie showed her own pass at the city's gate and indicated her companions with a gesture. "They're with me." She led the way through the gate and onto the open road. "We might've asked how long ago Peranis went through," Jeri said, urging her mount up beside Hallie's. "I already did. Two days. It's one day from here to Leemith, another day to Ulm, a third to Sharvan, moving at a normal traveling pace. Peranis may already have made his deal in Leemith, if he found a purchaser there." Raoul glanced at the sky. It was midmorning, clear and crisp. Maybe eight hours of daylight left, he judged. "Let's pick up our pace a little, then, so we can make inquiries in Leemith this evening." *** ***** *** ***** *** The road hugged the coast, sometimes running along the narrow, stony beach, sometimes veering inland to cross small, steep-sided valleys, occasionally clinging to a cliff above the water. They met no one coming from the south, and were overtaken by no coming from behind them. There were no villages or inns along the road. A dense pine forest covered most of the land near the road. "You could BELIEVE in vampires in a place like this," Jeri muttered, twisting to reach the cloak tied behind her saddle. The temperature had dropped steadily all morning, and now, looking north, she saw why. A bank of clouds filled the northern sky with shades of slate and charcoal. "Of course. What's to disbelieve? I never argue with the facts, doll," Raoul said. He glanced over at her--they were riding all three abreast--and followed her gaze northward. "Damn. Any place along here where we could take shelter?" "Not that I know of," Hallie admitted, squinting at the clouds uneasily. "We might come across something, I suppose, but would YOU trust any shelter you found along here under these circumstances? Bound to be a disaster waiting to happen." "We don't have much choice," Jeri argued. "If we can find ANYTHING, a house, a ruin, a CAVE, even, I'm for it!" She kicked her horse into a better pace. "We know there's no shelter behind us, almost all the way back to Istoreth, so--" The horse seemed to share her dislike of storms and willingly shifted into a pounding gallop down the hill into the next little valley. Almost hidden among the trees was the curved stone wall of a stubby tower. * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.) DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): POSITION IS EMPTY DM 14 TOBIR (turn 476): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo) DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): MONKEY WRENCH of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.) DM 26 CALEAM (turn 466): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.) DM 30 IAYE (turn 462): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.) DM 40 ZENSU (turn 427): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): BARNEE of THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.) DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): ANASTASIA of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 60 ARADI (turn 325): BLACK CAT of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.) DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): GORDIAN of WHY KNOT (Clove-Hitch, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.) ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele) Top Teams --------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.) DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.) DM 14 TOBIR (turn 476): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 469): CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.) DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.) DM 26 CALEAM (turn 466): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.) DM 30 IAYE (turn 462): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.) DM 40 ZENSU (turn 427): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.) DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.) DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 185): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.) DM 60 ARADI (turn 325): I'M WITH STUPID (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.) DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.) ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.) Recent Graduates ---------------- DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): HUSHPUPPY of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.) (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.) DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo) EDWIN MEESE of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.) HOW--LITE of ROCK ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.) (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.) PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.) DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.) DM 26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.) PYROTECHNICIAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco) DM 60 ARADI (turn 325): THE LIMELIGHT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.) DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. They say saying good-bye is the hardest thing.... Dearest warriors of Solven, greatest arena in all the lands of Alastari, I bring you greetings. It is I, Homeless Prince, your Duelmaster with a final offering to you, great warriors of Solven. As the cold winter winds start to blow, and the snow and ice begin to settle upon our great land, it is with heavy heart that I say farewell. It has been an honor and a privilege fighting beside you these last 20 turns long. I must say, last turn got my heart pounding like never before. Win vs. Hiss, and I get my invite, find out my favorites, and most likely leave on a nice winning streak upon the Duelmasters throne. A loss, and shame, oh shame. But Lady Luck shone down upon me two weeks prior. I wonder what would happen if Hiss and I fought ten times with the same strategy. Would the outcome be the same again? I wonder. Hitting my attack location each time but once, and nary a parry or dodge on the rattler's part. I will take what I get. Well done Hiss, for reaching so high so soon. I am sure you will take your place as Duelmaster of Solven soon. Speaking of taking the throne, it seems like just yesterday I beat an aimed-blow to take the throne. I find it only fitting I should leave the same way. Kangaroo Kate, the challenge is yours. If I win, great, if not, I can think of no team more deserving of the throne than Leeta and The Zoo. Fighting all warriors each turn. No dark arena fights. Personal ads each turn. You are a fantastic part of the arena. Judge on the other hand, has spoken out of his ass once again. Saying that I have brought great dishonor to the arena; You must be out of your mind. Just because your precious .500 fighter did not get challenged for the throne, you whine like a little girl. Saying the Duelmaster should welcome all challenges, and not avoid, is plain stupid. Tell us Judge, go ahead, fill us in on all of your other rules to this fighting business that you think we should all adhere to. Perhaps to ban TP's in the arena. While you're at it, outlaw Plate Armor. Get rid of downchallenging and avoids too. Tell us oh wise one, what other rules do we need to know so you will not complain? Who knows, if you had *asked* for a shot, you may have gotten one. As it was, you seemed pretty happy to have GB rack up half of your wins each turn. (That's right, half of 2 is 1). So to you Judge, I say this. I never missed a turn in the arena. I fought in all tourneys I could. I wrote a column each turn. I tried to make this arena more fun. That is something you obviously have no concept of. Good luck graduating those last two styles. Maybe then you and your 52% record will feel as if you accomplished something. It was nice having you more or less shut up the last few months (hard to run your mouth when you are losing, isn't it?). I am sure this will bring it to an end. I will be in arena 105, so send your best. To the rest of the arena, fight well, and uphold the great arena that Solven is. It has been my privilege. I thank you all. -- Homeless Prince SPY REPORT So why do I have this bag over my head? Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and I'm going to give you a spy report!. Say good-bye to CONSPIRACY INC., as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the THE REPUBLICANS stable. A stormcloud is brewing over the 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS guildhouse. Rumor says any more weeks like this ones 0-1-0 may send the team to the Dark Arena. WOMEN OF REALITY is no joke as it posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 5th place to 6th place. Call it luck at the right time or bribes in the right hands, but the new team THE POISON CLAN scored a 5-0-0 record this week. BAD INVENTIONS: Not great, but not bad. Keep up the work and look forward to having better success as your warriors become more seasoned. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. GARY CONDIT lost to MORGAN and drops 19 points. Unlike most arenas, HOMELESS PRINCE managed to get his challenge off against the 16-24-1 KANGAROO KATE. Well, everybody's pal HOMELESS PRINCE moved his record to 19-2-0 by defeating KANGAROO KATE in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 8 recognition points. 4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location. Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the SOLVEN arena. Here's a song for you: Who's afraid of the big, bad SERPENTINE INC.? Big bad SERPENTINE INC.. Big bad SERPENTINE INC.. SOLVEN's afraid of the big bad SERPENTINE INC.. Tra la la la la! For those of you who like math, try this one: SERPENTINE INC. + Weapons That go Boom = KELLUMBO'S KIDS + Avoid City. Well just about everybody wants a piece of NANCY PELOSI, who was this week's most challenged warrior. Was it guts or an overtaxed mental capacity that had ROBERT BYRD challenge up 36 points in the rankings to take on EDWIN MEESE? I don't know about you, but when I saw ROBERT BYRD step out on the sands with EDWIN MEESE, I though it was over before it started. Good upset ROBERT BYRD! Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was ILSA SHE-WOLF, who was successfully challenged by VENOM who had a mere 26 points more than ILSA SHE-WOLF. Definition of petty: VENOM overcame ILSA SHE-WOLF, a mismatch of 26 points. In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, GIDEON went after SCHWARZENEGGER, who was higher by 20 points. Well, when the dust settled, GIDEON lost to SCHWARZENEGGER. HISS of SERPENTINE INC. had better have a good reason for challenging down 15 points in a TV challenge which it lost. I thought HISS showed great skill and promise when it was overcame by BLIND GIRL. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the most interesting, though! In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, EDWIN MEESE was mashed by ROBERT BYRD, who let EDWIN MEESE know that killing members of THE DEMOCRATS is a no-no. Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no. Silly buggers, eh? I think I had better cut this one short. It's been nice chatting to those of you whom I have not offended yet. Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors. And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WOF-A-MIT 5639 23 17 0 142 ROCK ETTS (595) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MORGAN 5915 17 13 1 125 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) ROBERT BYRD 6039 9 6 0 110 THE DEMOCRATS (202) SNAKE IN THE GRASS 5952 18 5 0 105 SERPENTINE INC. (85) KANGAROO KATE 5900 16 25 1 99 THE ZOO (205) JUSTICE 5949 17 9 0 98 THE REPUBLICANS (103) BEAR MARKET 6010 10 11 1 97 THE DEMOCRATS (202) BLIND GIRL 6041 13 1 0 93 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) GEORGE BUSH 1708 11 4 0 92 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) GARY CONDIT 5914 15 18 1 91 THE DEMOCRATS (202) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MONTY PYTHON 5939 19 7 0 88 SERPENTINE INC. (85) HISS 6017 14 3 0 82 SERPENTINE INC. (85) LEE 5831 15 26 0 81 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME TURKEY JOE 5825 16 32 0 80 THE ZOO (205) DARKLE 5709 12 5 0 77 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) MAXIMUS 5966 16 7 3 71 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) TWO PLUS TWO 5910 13 12 1 71 OLD MCDONALD (621) SKEEMER 5965 13 11 0 67 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PLATINUM 5677 10 24 1 59 ROCK ETTS (595) RUMSFELD 6032 6 10 0 58 THE REPUBLICANS (103) FLAT TAX 5998 10 12 0 57 THE REPUBLICANS (103) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SCHWARZENEGGER 6050 7 6 1 55 THE REPUBLICANS (103) MACRIBSI 6024 8 5 0 44 OLD MCDONALD (621) -TWIN 562 6 3 3 44 MIRROR IMAGE (72) VENOM 6059 5 5 0 35 SERPENTINE INC. (85) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BARB 6060 5 4 0 31 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) SHUX 5788 3 1 0 30 4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663) SKANK 6114 3 0 0 28 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) ANTHONY SCALIA 6103 5 0 0 27 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) GIDEON 3308 2 1 0 24 BIBLE BELTERS (364) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME NANCY PELOSI 6076 4 4 1 23 THE DEMOCRATS (202) -DROOLMASTER 660 6 2 0 22 MIRROR IMAGE (72) NERF 6105 2 3 0 20 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651) DARRELL ISSA 6108 3 1 1 17 CONSPIRACY INC. (100) MARIE 6128 2 0 0 17 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) MERIAM 3305 1 2 0 17 BIBLE BELTERS (364) FRESH LIMBERGER 6018 1 0 0 17 BAD INVENTIONS (683) -SHATTER 561 3 7 0 16 MIRROR IMAGE (72) ICE TOASTER 6020 1 0 0 14 BAD INVENTIONS (683) THE TOAD 6121 1 0 0 14 THE POISON CLAN (692) -REFLECTIONS 702 1 3 0 13 MIRROR IMAGE (72) THE SCORPION 6117 1 0 0 12 THE POISON CLAN (692) THE SNAKE 6119 1 0 0 11 THE POISON CLAN (692) ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107 2 2 0 9 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) GIREFFY 6102 1 4 0 9 THE ZOO (205) -SANDSTONE 6056 2 1 0 8 ROCK ETTS (595) LITTLE PONY 6106 0 2 0 8 OLD MCDONALD (621) TWIST TIE 6019 0 1 0 7 BAD INVENTIONS (683) THE LIZARD 6120 1 0 0 6 THE POISON CLAN (692) CHIA PET 6022 0 1 0 5 BAD INVENTIONS (683) BROTHER JUSTIN 6127 1 1 0 4 LOONEY (693) THE CENTIPEDE 6118 1 0 0 3 THE POISON CLAN (692) DARK HEAVEN 6037 1 0 0 3 VAPOUR (684) LEE II 6129 0 2 0 2 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) KALAMAZOO 6116 0 2 0 2 THE ZOO (205) ZOOIE 6152 0 1 0 1 THE ZOO (205) CAROL M. BRAUN 6146 0 1 0 1 THE DEMOCRATS (202) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? DA BAIT 6122 0 2 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651 MOUNTAIN TROLL 401 470 NONE DIDILY SQUAT 6066 4 3 0 ANDORIAN WIMPS 651 NANCY PELOSI 6076 467 JUST REV PET ROCK 6023 0 1 0 BAD INVENTIONS 683 BANDIT PRINCE 408 470 NONE ELAINE CHAO 6104 1 4 0 CONSPIRACY INC. 100 STONE GOLEM 409 470 NONE JFK 1660 18 21 1 THE DEMOCRATS 202 EDWIN MEESE 828 469 JUST REV BLIND BOY 6042 6 4 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676 MCGRORY 5976 466 NOT REVE BLONK 6143 0 1 0 OLD MCDONALD 621 SPYMASTER 405 470 NONE THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? RATTLER 6075 3 4 1 SERPENTINE INC. 85 SPYMASTER 405 470 NONE ZELORA 6068 3 5 0 THE ZOO 205 DARRELL ISSA 6108 469 GARDEN GNOME 6095 2 1 0 THE ZOO 205 STAEL 6071 467 PERSONAL ADS Nancy Pelosi -- Again we must remind you, it is not a good idea to kill Wimps. -- Darkle Anthony Scalia -- Thank you for your challenge. I am ready anytime. I don't like the loss, but I love the 5 skills. -- Nerf Kangaroo Kate -- I had hoped to be able to sneak a challenge through to the DM, but since it didn't go through due to his avoid, you were the match up. I hated to go out with a loss, but against you there was no choice. -- Pishtush Lee II -- Get real. You need to invest in some endurance. Try again sometime. -- Skank Brother Justin -- As you might guess I was not planning on fighting you, or anyone other than the Dark Arena. Something got fouled up. I hope you enjoyed the win. -- DA Bait Al Gore -- Wow! Did anyone else catch the irony of your JFK dying last Saturday when the newsletter was posted? Weird.... -- Detective Kellumbo Judge -- I am guessing you are pretty pleased with the outcome of the Rumsfeld vs. Skeemer fight, even if you did not win that one. Things should get much better for him. Good luck. -- DK P.S. Did you notice it was an upchallenge also??? Wow, only 11 months to go to break even. Lee -- You know, it was a pretty boring fight until you stopped to listen to what Blind Girl was saying to you the whole fight. Then it was pretty funny. Oh, even I didn't see those skills coming for Blind Girl. Do you teach rocket science in your spare time? Wow! -- DK George Bush -- Just how much tourney experience do you have anyway? -- Maximus, the humbled cancer of the arena etc... Gireffy -- That'll teach me to open my big She-Wolf mouth....Howl....er... howwwllll....er...forget it. Floyd -- Those challenges with Platinum are coming fine when I can get them and you can't. How did Judge manage to lose to Platinum last turn? Heck, I think she is trying to lose. Terrible fighter, just terrible. -- Kellumbo Pishtush -- Of course I won't fight you. That would be stupid. -- Prince Al Gore -- You are right. It is sad I had to pay for it. Sadder still that it was your mom, wouldn't you say? -- Skeemer D.K. -- I probably went a little overboard with my personal ad to you the other turn but sometimes I get a little hotheaded!! As for my downchallenge on you on turn #450 that you mentioned, all I can say is oops! I am not perfect, sometimes one nasty challenge sneaks through now and then. I will keep challenging you though. I need to tag a few losses on you if for no other reason than you are ranked ahead of me in the team rankings. -- Floyd Al Gore -- Never mind about my broadsword comments!!!!! -- Monty Python Wimpy -- Sorry to see you leave but I'll cross swords with you over in Aradi. I'll be reactivating there in the next few turns to prep for the Face. -- Floyd Mirror Image -- Welcome back!! I used to co-manage a team here in the early 80's called Mage's Minions before I started Serpentine Inc. I believe your warrior Twin killed 3 of my warriors on 3 consecutive turns!! I'm glad to see you are back but I hope you are much less bloodthirsty than before!! -- Floyd Homeless Prince -- WOW!! That was very embarrassing! You completely dominated me. That was the first fight I have had where I did not even dodge or parry once!! For now you are the better warrior. My hat is off to you. Perhaps we can have a rematch in a few turns on the Isle!! -- Hiss Elaine Chao -- M'lady, you must not put yourself in those "decidedly precarious positions"! -- Meriam Rattler -- Thou doth rattle easily. *grin* -- Gideon All -- Greetings, friends and foes alike. I have returned to the gladiator ring after many seasons away. Now that this young team has ground the rust from their blades, let us welcome your challenges. -- Woelfe, mgr. Bible Belters Snake in the Grass -- You...you bit me! On the toe! -- Turkey Joe, the stunned and incredulous Darrell Issa -- I warn you now, I will NEVER again teach you that many skills! -- Ghost of Zelora P.S. And if I think of a really juicy curse, you're FOR it. Ilsa She-Wolf -- Bad manners, and not at all lady-like, but I have to say I enjoyed that fight. -- Gireffy P.S. What has fighting me to do with stat trains? Surely you don't subscribe to that ancient myth that it's easier to train a stat on a loss? Pishtush -- Classic, was it not? -- Kangaroo Kate Marie -- (bitterly) I try to be polite, and what do you do? You bury me in the sand. Gods, the inscrutability of women! -- Kalamazoo Hiss -- We run into some good fights and win and some we lost. -- Elderberry Ouch! Bad turn for me. At least it can't get worse. -- Al Gore Wimpy -- I learned. -- Nancy Pelosi Monty -- Thanks for all those skills. -- G. Condit G-Bay -- Good riddance. -- Bear Market Wof-A-Mit -- You're lucky Byrd didn't pull his dagger. If he did, you would have lost. I'm looking forward to a rematch. -- Al Gore Darkle -- Nice comeback. Thanks for the skills. -- Al Gore Edwin Meese -- I would be upset about JFK. But timing is everything. Talk about freaky coincidences. I was hoping somebody would kill him for me, that is why he ran without armor. Thanks for saving me the trouble of running a mediocre fighter. We'll see if I feel like BF'ing or not. -- Al Gore All -- I hope everybody had a good holiday. -- Al Gore 13 November 2003 Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad. I named this fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don! Sorry TUM didn't get me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager 13 November 2003 All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance. I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends. Their company will be missed, but they will endure. I wish them well. -- Apex 2 December 2003 ZalCon2, ZalCon Reloaded Where: Jhelum, DM 4 When: February 9th or 23rd, 2003 (TBA when Mail In date set) How Long: 20 Turns Restrictions: Zero FE at start of contest. Must announce warrior styles by second arena fight to receive points. No prize modified warriors. No entry to July Face, No TV Challenges. All prizes to be used exclusively on warriors from the contest team only. Awards: First Initiate Duelmaster (FID): First warrior announced in the contest to reach the throne. Prize: Limited Damage Potion, increasing damage for 1 warrior by one rating to max for ST/SZ. Warrior MVP: Top warrior based on MVP points accrued in the contest. Prize: Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge for any warrior on team, +1 to bonus in any skill area up to max for style for 1 warrior on team, 2 nights stay at Winter FTF Hotel. Team MVP: Top Team based on MVP points accrued in contest by all the teams warriors. Prize: Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge, +1 to Bonus, 6 Months Free Play, 20 Rollups. Warrior MVP Top 11: Next 10 warriors on MVP list at the end of the contest. Prize: +1 to Bonus Style Master: Top warrior in each style based on Style Master points accrued in the contest. Prize: Favorites Knowledge of any warrior on team. Iron Manager Award: Minimum 95 fights in contest by any team. Prize: Choice of free entry for team to 2005 Winter Face or +1 to Bonus for one warrior. MVP Point System: +1 for Win, Fight, Kill, Recognition Leader (after Round 3), -1 Death, +2 Duelmaster, +2 each 3 Consecutive turns as DM, +1 Quality Win (any win over opponent with 5 or more Rec), +1 for each 10 Rec points over 5 in win (+1 for 5-14 above, +2 for 15-24 above, +3 for 25-34 above). Style Master Point System: +2 Style Master, +1 Win vs. Same Style Opponent, +1 Win vs. Same Style Master, +1 for 3 Consecutive Turns as Style Master (rolling). Please direct any question about rules or clarifications to me, Robert Occhipinti, via Diplo to DM74, 1988 Dodgers or email to zalgor@hotmail.com. All rules decisions made by me are final and binding within the confines of this contest. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS RATTLER was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. ELAINE CHAO was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle. DA BAIT was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight. PET ROCK was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena contest. BLONK was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match. SKANK unbelievably bested NANCY PELOSI in a 3 minute Bloodfeud brawl. HOMELESS PRINCE savagely defeated KANGAROO KATE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl. HISS was outwaited by BLIND GIRL in a action packed 7 minute expert's Challenge duel. ROBERT BYRD vanquished EDWIN MEESE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. GARY CONDIT was overpowered by MORGAN in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge match. DARKLE defeated SKEEMER in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge match. TWO PLUS TWO was bested by MONTY PYTHON in a 4 minute master's Challenge conflict. VENOM subdued ILSA SHE-WOLF in a popular 2 minute Challenge brawl. GIDEON was handily defeated by SCHWARZENEGGER in a 1 minute Challenge conflict. DARRELL ISSA was savagely defeated by BARB in a 3 minute Challenge struggle. MERIAM was luckily beaten by ANTHONY SCALIA in a 3 minute Challenge brawl. NERF slimly won victory over GIREFFY in a 3 minute brutal novice's Challenge brawl. SNAKE IN THE GRASS demolished TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute one-sided bout. JUSTICE was savagely defeated by WOF-A-MIT in a 4 minute master's Title fight. BEAR MARKET overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute uneven fight. MAXIMUS was subdued by GEORGE BUSH in a 1 minute bout. LEE handily defeated PLATINUM in a unpopular 6 minute gory uneven duel. FLAT TAX subdued CIVILIZED CRIMINAL in a 1 minute gory fight. MACRIBSI viciously subdued SHUX in a slow 13 minute gruesome match. RUMSFELD savagely defeated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a exciting 1 minute gruesome bout. BROTHER JUSTIN was beaten by THE SCORPION in a 1 minute beginner's duel. MARIE overpowered CHIA PET in a 1 minute one-sided fray. LEE II was overcome by THE LIZARD in a 1 minute novice's duel. LITTLE PONY was overpowered by ICE TOASTER in a 1 minute uneven fight. KALAMAZOO was handily defeated by THE SNAKE in a 1 minute one-sided fight. FRESH LIMBERGER subdued ZOOIE in a 4 minute fight. TWIST TIE was luckily beaten by DARK HEAVEN in a tiring 13 minute novice's bout. THE TOAD subdued TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 6 minute beginner's contest. THE CENTIPEDE defeated CAROL M. BRAUN in a tiresome 6 minute novice's struggle. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |TOTAL PARRY 11 STRIKING ATTACK 46 - 23 - 1 67 | |LUNGING ATTACK 11 TOTAL PARRY 42 - 32 - 2 57 | |STRIKING ATTACK 10 WALL OF STEEL 22 - 19 - 1 54 | |PARRY-LUNGE 6 PARRY-LUNGE 30 - 29 - 2 51 | |WALL OF STEEL 6 LUNGING ATTACK 50 - 54 - 5 48 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 AIMED BLOW 12 - 15 - 1 44 | |SLASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 13 - 17 - 0 43 | |BASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 10 - 0 38 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 BASHING ATTACK 14 - 32 - 0 30 | |AIMED BLOW 2 SLASHING ATTACK 9 - 22 - 0 29 | Turn 470 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: TOTAL PARRY 7 - 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 3 2 PARRY-LUNGE STRIKING ATTACK 6 - 4 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 2 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 5 AIMED BLOW 0 - 2 1 STRIKING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 3 - 3 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 3 1 AIMED BLOW PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 1 WALL OF STEEL WALL OF STEEL 3 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME PARRY-LUNGE WOF-A-MIT 5639 23 17 0 142 ROCK ETTS (595) STRIKING ATTACK MORGAN 5915 17 13 1 125 WOMEN OF REALITY (669) FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK ROBERT BYRD 6039 9 6 0 110 THE DEMOCRATS (202) WALL OF STEEL JUSTICE 5949 17 9 0 98 THE REPUBLICANS (103) TOTAL PARRY BLIND GIRL 6041 13 1 0 93 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676) PARRY-RIPOSTE MONTY PYTHON 5939 19 7 0 88 SERPENTINE INC. (85) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is MORGAN 5915. The most popular warrior this turn was HISS 6017. The ten other most popular fighters were MONTY PYTHON 5939, BARB 6060, WOF-A-MIT 5639, VENOM 6059, RUMSFELD 6032, NANCY PELOSI 6076, ELAINE CHAO 6104, MERIAM 3305, JUSTICE 5949, and MORGAN 5915. The least popular fighter this week was DARK HEAVEN 6037. The other ten least popular fighters were TWIST TIE 6019, THE CENTIPEDE 6118, MACRIBSI 6024, LEE 5831, CAROL M. BRAUN 6146, THE TOAD 6121, FRESH LIMBERGER 6018, KALAMAZOO 6116, LITTLE PONY 6106, and CHIA PET 6022. The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn: WOF-A-MIT (22-5639) ROCK ETTS (595) SNAKE IN THE GRASS (22-5952) SERPENTINE INC. (85) The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: EDWIN MEESE (22-828) CONSPIRACY INC. (100) HOW--LITE (22-5635) ROCK ETTS (595) HOMELESS PRINCE (22-6012) KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)