DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/31/2003    Duedate: 01/13/2004

SOLVEN ARENA

DM-22    TURN-472

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MAXIMUS
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-5966) [18-7-3,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JUSTICE                        GIDEON
THE REPUBLICANS (103)          BIBLE BELTERS (364)
(22-5949) [18-10-0,111]        (22-3308) [3-2-0,25]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MONTY PYTHON                   ROBERT BYRD
SERPENTINE INC. (85)           THE DEMOCRATS (202)
(22-5939) [21-7-0,105]         (22-6039) [10-7-0,91]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE POISON CLAN (692)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       46
2. THE POISON CLAN (692)       28      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. THE REPUBLICANS (103)       25      Unchartered Team
4. THE ZOO (205)               20
5. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       15      THE POISON CLAN (692)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*VAPOUR (684)               1   0  0  100   1/ 3*THE POISON CLAN (692)    13  2 1
 2/ 2*THE POISON CLAN (692)     13   2  1 86.7   2/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    10  5 1
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     82  46  4 64.1   3/ 4 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     9  5 0
 4- 4*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   3   2  0 60.0   4/ 2 SERPENTINE INC. (85)      9  6 0
 5/ 5 ROCK ETTS (595)          403 280  7 59.0   5/ 7 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    8  7 1
 6/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    121  86  8 58.5   6/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     8  7 0
 7/ 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     137 105  6 56.6   7/10 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       6  9 0
 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   112  98  3 53.3   8- 6 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      5  3 0
 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    315 286 23 52.4   9/ 9*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       4  6 0
10-13 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      54  56  1 49.1  10/11 THE ZOO (205)             4 11 0
11/12 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      104 108  8 49.1  11/ 8 ROCK ETTS (595)           3  2 0
12-14 OLD MCDONALD (621)       257 276 13 48.2  12-12 OLD MCDONALD (621)        3  5 0
13/11*BIBLE BELTERS (364)        7   9  0 43.8  13-13*BAD INVENTIONS (683)      2  3 0
14/15 THE ZOO (205)            326 431  4 43.1  14-14*VAPOUR (684)              1  0 0
15-16*BAD INVENTIONS (683)       2   3  0 40.0  15/ 0*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     0  5 0
16-17*LOONEY (693)               1   2  0 33.3  16/16*OXYMORONS (698)           0  4 0
17/ 0*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)      0   5  0  0.0  17-17*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  0  2 0
18/18*OXYMORONS (698)            0   4  0  0.0  18-15*LOONEY (693)              0  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 238): LUMBERING WAIF of HAPLESS WAIF (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 479): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 478): 10% VIGORISH of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 471): GARY CONDIT of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 468): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 467): NOLAN ORGEL of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 468): MR. GRINCH of HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 464): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 430): CMOT DIBBLER of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 423): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 416): ANASTASIA of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 186): RED EYE of ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 327): LLOSMIC LLAMMER of LUROCIANS VI (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 317): SPEEDBUMP of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 141): TOMB of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 364): ZEPHYR of ELEMENTAL FORCE from FRATSFA (Poison Ivy, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 238): Z GLADIATORZ (Mr. Zee, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 479): THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 478): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 471): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 468): THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 467): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 468): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 464): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 430): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 423): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 416): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 186): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 327): I'M WITH STUPID (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 317): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 141): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 363): SUNNYDALE, etc. (LHI, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 478): HARRY POTTER of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Godric Gryffindor)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 477): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 471): MORGAN of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
               (turn 470): WOF-A-MIT of ROCK ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.)
                           SNAKE IN THE GRASS of SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 468): CONE SHELL of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
                (turn 467): SLIM SHADY of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
                            SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            PYROTECHNICIAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 327): TOO ICKY of BLOOD RELATED (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
                          LUMMOX of RED DOG GANG (Spot, mgr.)
              (turn 326): BLACK CAT of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 317): SPEEDBUMP of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
                 (turn 316): GORDIAN of WHY KNOT (Clove-Hitch, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 140): GHOULSHINE of MONSTER RANCHER (Hombre, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail, Solven!

     How did I get up here?  Now everybody will Challenge me.  I would challenge
but everybody has already beaten me.  I need to graduate quickly.  Why couldn't
Kangaroo Kate have won?  Does she suck that much to lose to a lowly basher?
Well, my manager told me to be brave and think positive.  Since Kellumbo isn't
up here to insult everybody I will, the Democrats rule and you will find out
this November when we sweep the Republicans and the other Nazis out of office.
Down Challenging is for cowards.  Master Tazo is about to get some whoopass
opened on him.  What are you master of anyway?  Judge, where you at?  Hiding?
We still doing the "No Avoids" deal?  Oh well, got to go, I found somebody to
challenge, Monty Python.  I've beaten you before and will do it again.
     Until next time, my fellow Solvenite's, good luck and see you on the sands.

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in SOLVEN!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Like, KELLUMBO'S KIDS had to be 
so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by THE POISON CLAN!  Way to go THE 
POISON CLAN!  THE DEMOCRATS like really fought hard to move up to 7th from 10th.  Way 
to go!  One team deserves special mention 'cause they moved up 2 after going 5-0-1.  
Keep it up, THE POISON CLAN!  All you experienced warriors can look at SAVAGE HEARTS 
2's 0-5-0 and laugh.  But with some more experience, they'll be the ones laughing!  
MVP award for GEORGE BUSH?  CONSPIRACY INC.'s proud of him after beating BLIND GIRL 
and getting 25 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  BLIND GIRL got smashed by 
GEORGE BUSH, and lost 13 points!  Was that a tear I saw in MAXIMUS' eye, as it took 
over Duelmastership?  And wasn't GARY CONDIT fit to be tied!  Is the Duelmaster 
really being a real snob to his teammates?  Don't ask me!   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  ANDORIAN 
WIMPS was SOLVEN's most avoided team.  Is there some award for that?  Hhmph!  What 
kind of warriors are SERPENTINE INC.?  ANDORIAN WIMPS, an easy team to beat if I ever 
saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Like, is NANCY PELOSI popular, or 
what?  She was challenged the most in all of SOLVEN!  She's got a 5-5-1, is that 
good?  People were asking me did D.O.A. DOMINANCE REALLY challenge BARB?  (all right, 
maybe they didn't, but it sounded good!) It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, 
but BARB wants me to write about it since she beat D.O.A. DOMINANCE.  Satisfied?  
ILSA SHE-WOLF must not be a good enough fighter to get in fair fights.  She 
challenged MARIJUANA INITIATIVE.  14 is a big difference.  (Well, that's what they 
tell me.) I thought ILSA SHE-WOLF showed great skill and promise when she killed 
MARIJUANA INITIATIVE.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All SOLVEN ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear 
from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it 
quits.  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAXIMUS 5966                 18   7  3   107       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUSTICE 5949                 18  10  0   111       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              18  32  0   106       THE ZOO (205)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MONTY PYTHON 5939            21   7  0   105       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             12   5  0   101       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-DARKLE 5709                  13   5  0   100       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 BEAR MARKET 6010             11  12  1    96       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 ROBERT BYRD 6039             10   7  0    91       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GARY CONDIT 5914             16  19  1    90       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           16  27  1    82       THE ZOO (205)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              14   2  0    82       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 LEE 5831                     15  28  0    81       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 HISS 6017                    15   4  0    78       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 SKEEMER 5965                 14  12  0    75       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           9   6  1    71       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  13  1    68       OLD MCDONALD (621)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PLATINUM 5677                11  25  1    63       ROCK ETTS (595)
 RUMSFELD 6032                 7  11  0    58       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 FLAT TAX 5998                11  13  0    57       THE REPUBLICANS (103)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MACRIBSI 6024                 9   5  0    52       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 VENOM 6059                    6   6  0    41       SERPENTINE INC. (85)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           6   1  0    33       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             4   2  1    31       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 MARIE 6128                    4   0  1    29       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
-NERF 6105                     3   3  0    29       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 BARB 6060                     6   5  0    27       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             5   5  1    27       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 GIDEON 3308                   3   2  0    25       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
-SKANK 6114                    3   1  0    24       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            4   2  1    22       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 THE TOAD 6121                 3   0  0    22       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 THE SCORPION 6117             3   0  0    21       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 THE SNAKE 6119                3   0  0    21       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-SHUX 5788                     3   2  0    21       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
 THE LIZARD 6120               2   1  1    19       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-FRESH LIMBERGER 6018          1   0  0    17       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 GIREFFY 6102                  2   5  0    15       THE ZOO (205)
 SNAKE CHARMER 6169            2   0  0    14       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-ICE TOASTER 6020              1   0  0    14       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 ANN COULTER 6168              2   0  0     9       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                1   3  0     9       THE ZOO (205)
-LITTLE PONY 6106              0   3  0     9       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
 THE CENTIPEDE 6118            2   1  0     7       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 CHENEY 6153                   1   1  0     7       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-TWIST TIE 6019                0   1  0     7       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 LEE II 6170                   1   0  0     6       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 CRANKY SNAKE 6171             1   0  0     6       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167            1   1  0     6       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-BROTHER JUSTIN 6127           1   2  0     5       LOONEY (693)
-OINK 6142                     1   0  0     5       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-CHIA PET 6022                 0   1  0     5       BAD INVENTIONS (683)
 HANNAH 6144                   1   1  0     4       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
-DARK HEAVEN 6037              1   0  0     3       VAPOUR (684)
 ZOOIE 6152                    0   3  0     3       THE ZOO (205)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           0   3  0     3       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162         0   2  0     2       OXYMORONS (698)
 POINTY TEETH 6165             0   2  0     2       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 KORN 6154                     0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 KUJOE 6157                    0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 ALIEN 6156                    0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
-BIG FAT HEN 6166              0   1  0     1       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 SAVAGE DRAGON 6155            0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 TERMINATOR 6158               0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
NICODEMUS 6145         1  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     MARIE 6128            472         
MERIAM 3305            2  3 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     THE LIZARD 6120       472         
JFK 1660              18 21 1 THE DEMOCRATS 202     EDWIN MEESE 828       469 REVENGED
MARIJUANA INITIA 6164  0  2 0 OXYMORONS 698         ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107    472         
ZELORA 6068            3  5 0 THE ZOO 205           DARRELL ISSA 6108     469         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kalamazoo -- The only one you will ever need to know. -- The Snake

Gireffy -- An exciting match.  I would have had you, if not for that lucky blow to
the ribs. -- The Lizard

Meriam -- No fair!  I was not ready.  I was still buckling on my armor and WAM a
longsword right in the face.  How much did your manager have to pay the arena master
for that little trick? -- The Centipede

Kellumbo -- Thank you for your warn welcome, but be assured I have been forewarned of
the "warm welcomes" you are known to give. -- Master Tazo

Big Fat Hen -- Ummm chicken. -- The Scorpion

Gary Condit -- A murderer and philanderer for our Duelmaster.  A fine example you set
for our arena. -- The Republicans

Wimpy -- I am very sorry to see you go, but I understand.  Thank you for your efforts
here.  I will continue to enjoy our partnership in Aradi in the TOGS IV. -- Judge

Morgan -- Congrats on graduating.  I am going to try to get a challenge through with
Justice for your last fight.  Hopefully, you are not avoiding. -- Judge

Snake in the Grass -- Darn it.  That was not the matchup I was looking for.  Congrats
on your victory, and your graduation. -- Justice

Master Tazo -- Welcome to Solven.  Please let us know what team you run here (Poison
Clan?). -- Judge, mgr. of The Republicans

Conspiracy, Inc. -- We seem to have similar themes in warrior names, but for
different reasons.  Would your team be more appropriately named "Right Wing
Conspiracy, Inc," or "I love Hillary Clinton," the queen of the alleged right wing
conspiracy?  Sounds like your team and Al Gore's team should get along just fine.  By
the way, how is Ann Coulter part of a "conspiracy"? -- Judge, mgr. of The Republicans
P.S.  Who is your manager?

Skeemer -- That was a good victory for you, and a bad matchup for me.  Congrats. --
Rumsfield

Judge -- Great dishonor with all the avoids???  Your guys are not good enough to
avoid anymore.  When my team was young, I needed to avoid you to stop what I thought

would be lopsided fights.  Now I realize you are just flat out not that good of a
manager, and I save my avoids for people who actually have warriors I worry about. --
Kellumbo

Leeta -- Thanks!  1-1 at the Isle so far.  We'll see what the future holds for me. --
Prince

Rumsfeld -- Talk about laughing out loud.  I guess bribing the weapon smith to have
your weapons break was worth the few gold I paid.  Serves you right for being one of
Judge's boys. -- Kellumbo

Darkle -- I noticed.  It's not like my team *never* challenges up...geesh, do you
want a medal? -- Skeemer

Wimpy -- Man, are you still here?  You've been spouting off about leaving forever
now.  Get on with it, will ya.  You're like the whiney little kid who never goes
away. -- Kellumbo (the lowlife)

Floyd -- I do believe Wimpy called you and me the two lowlifes of the arena.  I think
I am in pretty good company in that case, how about you? -- Kellumbo

Al Gore -- Touche on your mother.  I think I'll drop it here.  This could get real
ugly, and I don't really want to go there.  Drop a flower on her grave for me next
time your there. -- Skeemer

Little Pony -- Giddy up there, girl!  I'm goin' for a ride! -- Ilsa She-Wolf
hooowwwwllllllll!!!!

Robert Byrd -- After that fight, I think I have your number.  Better start filling in
that wish to avoid section. -- Maximus 

Kung-Fu Master -- That's right!  It's called a karate chop!  Hiyah! -- Blind Girl

DOA Dominance -- Hey, you're no snake!  Where's Floyd's kids?  Ah well, I guess you
did the job. -- Snake Charmer

Hiss -- What's the matter?  Run out of Kids to challenge who you could beat?  Oh
yeah.... -- DK

Two Plus Two -- Didn't you learn anything when Turkey Joe destroyed me in short
order?  Stay away from him, he eats TP's for lunch! -- Maximus

Judge -- How was that for insulting this week?  You asked for it...dolt.... -- DK

Tazo -- Such bold talk.  If you gonna talk the talk, you better walk the walk.  I
think I can arrange a few downchallenges to put you in your spot. -- Al Gore

Barb -- Thanks for the skills and easy win. -- Al Gore

Maximus -- Good matchup.  You caught me napping.  It won't happen again. -- R. Byrd

Monty Python -- That sucked. -- Al Gore

Oink -- Thanks for the skills. -- Al Gore

Wimpy -- I hope you reconsider and stay on.  Solven needs good managers. -- Al Gore

All -- Sorry I missed this turn. I didn't get my turn until late Monday 12/29.  I'm
not sure if I will be back.  I'll just wait and see what happens. -- Wimpy

Geroge Bush -- I saw where you told Maximus that you have a great favorite weapon.
When you fought me you may have had it with you, but you forgot that you have to use
it if you expect any benefits. -- Darkle

Venom -- Wimpy told me I wasn't up to fighting any of you snake guys.  He was right.
-- Skank

Gideon -- Would you like me to suggest chapter and verse for you to read/study? --
Nerf

Gary Condit -- (sigh)  Tell me you're leaving soon.  I don't care if it's a lie, I
promise to believe you. -- Kangaroo Kate

Two Plus Two -- Twenty-two!  I know the answer to that one. -- Turkey Joe

The Lizard -- I don't really like lizards, you know.  They're small and slithery and
hard to spot.  I wouldn't have granted you mercy even if you HAD asked for it. --
Gireffy

The Toad -- There's obviously no jewel in YOUR head.  Or I would have hit you more
times, looking for it.  I have an instinct for these things, you see. -- Kalamazoo

Nicodemus -- I didn't know you could use a belt for a weapon.  No one mentioned THAT
during my training. -- Zooie

Darrell -- Let that be a lesson to you, then.  EVERYONE from my team trains well.
It's in our contracts.  Of course, some people don't LEARN well from us, but that's
THEIR problem. -- Ghost of Zelora

Homeless Prince -- Well...that's as good an explanation as any, I guess!  Good luck
to you on the Isle. -- Kangaroo Kate

Nerf -- ARRRGGH!!  I've been nerfed!! -- Gideon

Centipede -- Forgive my aggression, but there is something about insects that gives
me the creeps!  -- Meriam

Leeta & Det. Kellumbo -- Many thanks for the welcome.  Thus far I have found Solven
to be both lively and challenging.  And, I see that the age old feud of "Andorian"
fighting rules has not died. <shakes head>. -- Woelfe

2 December 2003
ZalCon2, ZalCon Reloaded
Where:  Jhelum, DM 4
When:  February 9th or 23rd, 2003 (TBA when Mail In date set)
How Long:  20 Turns

Restrictions:  Zero FE at start of contest.  Must announce warrior styles by second
arena fight to receive points.  No prize modified warriors.  No entry to July Face,
No TV Challenges.  All prizes to be used exclusively on warriors from the contest
team only.

Awards:
     First Initiate Duelmaster (FID):  First warrior announced in the contest to
          reach the throne.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, increasing damage for 1 warrior by one rating to
          max for ST/SZ.
     Warrior MVP:  Top warrior based on MVP points accrued in the contest.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge for any warrior on team, +1
          to bonus in any skill area up to max for style for 1 warrior on team, 2
          nights stay at Winter FTF Hotel.
     Team MVP:  Top Team based on MVP points accrued in contest by all the teams
          warriors.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge, +1 to Bonus, 6 Months Free
          Play, 20 Rollups.
     Warrior MVP Top 11:  Next 10 warriors on MVP list at the end of the contest.
     Prize:  +1 to Bonus
     Style Master:  Top warrior in each style based on Style Master points accrued in
          the contest.
     Prize:  Favorites Knowledge of any warrior on team.
     Iron Manager Award:  Minimum 95 fights in contest by any team.
     Prize:  Choice of free entry for team to 2005 Winter Face or +1 to Bonus for one
          warrior.

MVP Point System:  +1 for Win, Fight, Kill, Recognition Leader (after Round 3), -1
Death, +2 Duelmaster, +2 each 3 Consecutive turns as DM, +1 Quality Win (any win over
opponent with 5 or more Rec), +1 for each 10 Rec points over 5 in win (+1 for 5-14
above, +2 for 15-24 above, +3 for 25-34 above).
Style Master Point System:  +2 Style Master, +1 Win vs. Same Style Opponent, +1 Win
vs. Same Style Master, +1 for 3 Consecutive Turns as Style Master (rolling).

     Please direct any question about rules or clarifications to me, Robert
Occhipinti, via Diplo to DM74, 1988 Dodgers or email to zalgor@hotmail.com.  All
rules decisions made by me are final and binding within the confines of this contest.

8 December 2003
Greetings!  I would like to invite everyone to Jhans (DM 36) for the first annual kLk
St. Valentine's Day Massacre (kill contest).  We will start the contest off with the
ceremonial burning of the Andorian flag on turn 450.  (Six turns away.  Roughly mid-
February.)  The contest will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461, 3 separate victors will
be announced.  Team with the most kills, warrior with the most kills, and alliance
with the most kills.  Prizes will be awarded to the manager of the team with the most
kills and to the manager of the warrior with the most kills.  The prizes will
probably be team roll-ups.  The number of roll-ups has yet to be determined.  The
contest is sponsored by Jhans' newest, (but by the time the contest starts) largest
alliance, the kLk (pronounced "klick"). -- Polarius, mgr. of Blitzkrieg DM 36

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JUSTICE devastated MORGAN in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
LEE was overcome by ROBERT BYRD in a action packed 4 minute one-sided Challenge match.
GEORGE BUSH viciously subdued BLIND GIRL in a popular 3 minute gory Challenge contest.
VENOM was subdued by RUMSFELD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge competition.
ILSA SHE-WOLF assassinated MARIJUANA INITIATIVE in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
ANTHONY SCALIA slimly won victory over NANCY PELOSI in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
RUSH LIMBAUGH outwaited HANNAH in a crowd boring 14 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
THE TOAD luckily beat GIREFFY in a action packed 7 minute gory Challenge duel.
D.O.A. DOMINANCE was defeated by BARB in a 2 minute Challenge match.
ANN COULTER defeated CAROL M. BRAUN in a 1 minute novice's Challenge match.
SNAKE CHARMER unbelievably bested CHENEY in a 9 minute amateur's Challenge conflict.
NICODEMUS was butchered by MARIE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
GARY CONDIT was handily defeated by MAXIMUS in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
MONTY PYTHON overpowered KANGAROO KATE in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
BEAR MARKET viciously subdued SKEEMER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute master's bout.
HISS was overpowered by TURKEY JOE in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
PLATINUM was savagely defeated by SCHWARZENEGGER in a 5 minute mismatched fight.
FLAT TAX savagely defeated DARRELL ISSA in a action packed 2 minute brutal fight.
GIDEON overpowered POINTY TEETH in a 1 minute uneven fray.
MERIAM was put to death by THE LIZARD in a 2 minute contest.
THE CENTIPEDE luckily beat TERMINATOR in a slow 12 minute gruesome novice's match.
THE SNAKE beat KUJOE in a 1 minute beginner's fight.
THE SCORPION savagely defeated KORN in a 2 minute gruesome novice's bout.
KALAMAZOO savagely defeated ALIEN in a 3 minute gory beginner's duel.
ZOOIE was overcome by CRANKY SNAKE in a 1 minute gruesome amateur's bout.
SAVAGE DRAGON was savagely defeated by LEE II in a 1 minute novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         STRIKING ATTACK   50 -  24 -  3      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         PARRY-LUNGE       33 -  24 -  2      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         TOTAL PARRY       42 -  34 -  1      55  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  22 -  1      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         LUNGING ATTACK    47 -  60 -  5      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  20 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  21 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -  13 -  0      35  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         BASHING ATTACK    14 -  28 -  0      33  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         AIMED BLOW         8 -  17 -  1      32  |

Turn 472 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  6         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MAXIMUS 5966               18   7  3  107 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               18  10  0  111 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 5939          21   7  0  105 SERPENTINE INC. (85)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEORGE BUSH 1708           12   5  0  101 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
LUNGING ATTACK   ROBERT BYRD 6039           10   7  0   91 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MONTY PYTHON 5939.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was ROBERT BYRD 6039.  The ten other most popular fighters were GIREFFY 6102, 
SCHWARZENEGGER 6050, CHENEY 6153, FLAT TAX 5998, GEORGE BUSH 1708, NANCY PELOSI 6076, 
BEAR MARKET 6010, BARB 6060, LEE II 6170, and RUMSFELD 6032.

The least popular fighter this week was RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were THE CENTIPEDE 6118, HANNAH 6144, TERMINATOR 6158, SNAKE CHARMER 
6169, SAVAGE DRAGON 6155, ZOOIE 6152, ALIEN 6156, POINTY TEETH 6165, DARRELL ISSA 
6108, and KANGAROO KATE 5900.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

MONTY PYTHON (22-5939) SERPENTINE INC. (85)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

MORGAN (22-5915) WOMEN OF REALITY (669)

                       TOURNEY FREEZE CHANGE -- ADVANCE NOTICE

     Beginning at the Winter Face-to-Face in Tempe (January 2004), we will implement 
several changes affecting tournaments.  The tournament announcement for the upcoming 
FTF and future tourneys will reflect these changes.
     First, we will eliminate the tourney freeze for all regular DM warrior classes.  
Regular DM warriors will not be classed ahead of the tournament, but instead will 
fight according to their FE on the date of the tourney.  There will still be a freeze 
for the ADM classes, occurring on the same timeline as before, approximately 6 weeks 
before the tournament.
     In addition to the above change, the warrior classes will be slightly altered.  
The new tourney classes will be as follows:

                DM Tourney Classes                 ADM Tourney Classes
              ======================              ======================
                  0 FE:  Rookies                        Freshmen
                1-4 FE:  Apprentices                    ADM
               5-10 FE:  Initiates                      Eligibles
              11-20 FE:  Adepts                      ---induction---
              21-30 FE:  Champions                      Contenders
                31+ FE:  Challengers                    Primus

     All regular DM tourney classes will remain solely FE based.  All ADM classes will 
now be based on warrior characteristics (i.e., the ADM split algorithm), including the 
Freshmen class.
     The Gateway and Primus arenas will be merging before the FTF to form one top 
arena.  These warriors will be split into two tournament classes, the Contenders and 
the Primus classes, again based upon their characteristics.  More information on this 
will be published in the newsletters for those arenas.
     If you have any questions about the above changes, please contact Customer 
Service.  Good luck in your games.

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI staff