DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/14/2004    Duedate: 01/27/2004

SOLVEN ARENA

DM-22    TURN-473

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ROBERT BYRD
THE DEMOCRATS (202)
(22-6039) [11-7-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JUSTICE                        GIDEON
THE REPUBLICANS (103)          BIBLE BELTERS (364)
(22-5949) [19-10-0,120]        (22-3308) [4-2-0,40]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JUSTICE                        FLAT TAX
THE REPUBLICANS (103)          THE REPUBLICANS (103)
(22-5949) [19-10-0,120]        (22-5998) [11-14-0,64]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. JUST CHILLIN (699)          51
2. SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)       41      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. THE DEMOCRATS (202)         32      Unchartered Team
4. THE REPUBLICANS (103)       32
5. BIBLE BELTERS (364)         30      JUST CHILLIN (699)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 2*THE POISON CLAN (692)     13   2  1 86.7   1/ 2 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    12  3 1
 2/ 0*JUST CHILLIN (699)         4   1  0 80.0   2/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     9  6 0
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     86  47  4 64.7   3- 1*THE POISON CLAN (692)     8  2 1
 4- 4*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)   3   2  0 60.0   4/ 3 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     8  7 0
 5/ 5 ROCK ETTS (595)          404 280  7 59.1   5/ 9*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       7  6 0
 6/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    124  88  8 58.5   6/ 7 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       7  8 0
 7- 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     137 105  6 56.6   7- 4 SERPENTINE INC. (85)      6  4 0
 8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   114 101  3 53.0   8/ 5 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    6  9 1
 9/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    317 289 23 52.3   9/10 THE ZOO (205)             5 10 0
10/ 0 LOST SOULS 1 (300)        40  37  3 51.9  10/ 0*JUST CHILLIN (699)        4  1 0
11/11 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      107 110  8 49.3  11/11 ROCK ETTS (595)           3  1 0
12-10 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      54  56  1 49.1  12-12 OLD MCDONALD (621)        2  2 0
13-12 OLD MCDONALD (621)       257 276 13 48.2  13- 8 ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)      2  2 0
14/13*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       10  11  0 47.6  14/15*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     2  8 0
15/14 THE ZOO (205)            327 435  4 42.9  15/ 0 LOST SOULS 1 (300)        1  2 0
16-16*LOONEY (693)               1   2  0 33.3  16/16*OXYMORONS (698)           0  6 0
17/17*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)      2   8  0 20.0  17-17*4-LETTER CURSE WOR (663)  0  1 0
18/18*OXYMORONS (698)            0   6  0  0.0  18-18*LOONEY (693)              0  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #22 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Skaithvarn:

     Raoul didn't much like this Kaldrehn, or trust him at all, but there was nothing
he could do right then.  And many people, especially wizards, were arrogant and self-
centered without necessarily being bad citizens.  Well, amend that to "most wizards
were arrogant and self-centered, and SOME of them were not bad citizens...."
     "So having escaped the destruction of Krael, you're going to settle down to a
meditative life in Skaithvarn?" Hallie O'Dene asked.
     The Kraelian laughed with genuine amusement.  "Do I look like a man for the
meditative life?"  His gaze went around the inside of the tower, and his lip curled
in scorn.  "This is a way station, nothing more.  As I was the adviser and kingmaker
in Krael, so shall I be in the world that now is."
     "Krael is drowned--" Jeri began.
     The wizard shrugged.  "There are other kingdoms.  The current one in that area
is now called Andoria, is it not?"  He looked toward a shadowy stretch of wall where
a crude table stood; there was a thick black book on it.  "I shall rule Andoria in
all but name...."
     Raoul looked at the book, too, and groaned inwardly.  That would be the one
Peranis had stolen, the infamous Black Book in which the never-to-be-sufficiently-
damned Assassins' Guild had recorded all the secrets it could find that would allow
powerful Andorians, nobles and rich merchants and military figures, to be blackmailed
or coerced.  With that book, a clever man COULD rule Andoria...at least for a while.
They would have to get it away from Kaldrehn and destroy it.
     But on the positive side, it would no longer be necessary to visit the vampire
city of Leemith.  And there was only one of Kaldrehn, whereas Hallie had told them
there were thousands of vampires in Leemith.
     "Not every powerful man in Andoria is corrupt!" Jeri burst out.  "That's just a
small fraction of--"
     "There will be enough," Kaldrehn said calmly.  "You would be surprised how few
points of pressure it takes to control a kingdom!  And I am well skilled in that
art."  The wizard crossed to the doorway and looked out.
     Raoul's hand twitched toward his sword, then was still.  He didn't like to stab
a man in the back, even one who deserved it as much as the Kaldrehn seemed to.  But
he wasn't fool enough even to try against a wizard powerful enough to have moved
through time.  The man probably had eyes in the back of his head, and short way with
would-be assassins.  At least it seemed likely that Peranis had got all that was
coming to him.
     "As soon as this storm ends," Kaldrehn said, "I will cross to Andoria.  You
three will be my guides and servants.  For now.  But soon I must form my own coterie
of agents....  That should not be difficult, there are always, in EVERY land, those
who desire a measure of power and wealth, or revenge on the mighty, or simply someone
to lead them."
     Raoul's face tightened.  That was true, he knew.  Not all greedy men were
Delarquan, just as there were honorable men who were not Andorian.  He would get word
to King Mickeal as quickly as he could.  And then he would form his own coterie to
contend against the Kraelians.

Call for volunteers, good guys and bad.  A personal to Scribe or an email to
Livia@reality.com will do the trick.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hail and well met, brave warriors of Solven.  I have taken my rightful place
upon the throne of this mighty arena.  Imagine the timing.  This turn marks the one
year anniversary of Kellumbo's Kids stepping foot in Solven.  Seeing as how this is a
landmark day, let's have a little history lesson and see just how we have stacked up
against many of these other fine teams.
     Our worst record is against Conspiracy Inc. with an 0-4 record.  With 3 of those
losses coming from George Bush, we'll have to try and change that soon.
     Next worse for us is against that honor bound Wimps team.  We sit at 5 wins and
7 losses vs. Wimpy's crew.  Too bad he is leaving just as...what's that, Kellumbo? 
Not too bad you say?  I guess you are right.  Good riddance we say.
     After them come those rotten snakes, Serpentine Inc.  3 to the good side, and 4
to the bad.  Almost .500, not too shabby.  Interesting that all 3 have come vs. Hiss.
Maybe Floyd should think about DAing that "crummy" warrior.  He is holding you back!
     Ahhh, finally onto the teams we have a winning record against:  9-8 vs. Al
Gore's team, The Democrats.  Very even.  It seems as if our two teams have an
"understanding" currently.  Kinda nice.
     I suppose Old McDonald plays enough to be mentioned.  2-1 vs. them.  Too bad
they don't play every turn.
     Next up is The Zoo.  A very respectful record of 13-5.  I am sure that if they
avoided or challenged that it would not be anywhere that lopsided.  Take note of this
new teams, use those challenges and avoids wisely!
     What's this I see?  We have finally arrived at Judge's boys.  Nahh...with as
much fighting as our two teams have done, he deserves the finale, so we'll just hold
off on them.
     Looks like we have very solid records vs. these next two teams.  6-1 vs.
Rocketts, and 6-0 vs. Women of Reality.  Looks like they need a reality check.
     And lastly, we have The Republicans.  What do you think?  About even, maybe a
bit worse on their side as we downchallenge from time to time and they don't?  I
couldn't tell you the exact number of times, but I am sure Judge could mention it
next turn.  So, what is our record vs. that mighty fighting machine of a team that
Judge manages?  I'll tell ya.
                        ************** 15-5! ****************
     That's right boys and girls, 15-5.  That's 75%, 3 out of every 4, 0.75, or
translated into everyday terms that even Judge will understand....a complete butt
whippin'.  Sure has been a fun year.  Looking forward to year number two.  Happy New
Year all!
      -- Maximus

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for SOLVEN.  Like, THE POISON CLAN had to be 
so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by KELLUMBO'S KIDS!  Way to go 
KELLUMBO'S KIDS!  Uncool, ANDORIAN WIMPS.  I mean 0-0-0 is bad.  Will they will be 
allowed to fight?  I say use 'em for training practice!  CONSPIRACY INC. like really 
fought hard to move up to 2nd from 6th.  Way to go!  I just can't say enough good 
things about JUST CHILLIN.  They went 4-1-0 their first time, don't slouch, and 
they've got good oral hygiene!  MVP award for GARY CONDIT?  THE DEMOCRATS' proud of 
him after beating TURKEY JOE and getting 15 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  
TURKEY JOE got smashed by GARY CONDIT, and lost 19 points!  Oh, wow, like the 
Duelmaster must be the most popular beast in all SOLVEN.  It got the most challenges. 
(But what about proposals?) Like, ROBERT BYRD must be pretty gutsy!  He challenged 
the Duelmaster from KELLUMBO'S KIDS.  Does this guy have a death wish or what!  And I 
was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome ROBERT 
BYRD.  Aren't THE DEMOCRATS proud.  (Oh, my.) I hear the top team insists all their 
warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  The warriors of CONSPIRACY INC. 
must be getting lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something 
that I don't?  Is there some deep dark secret why KELLUMBO'S KIDS' been avoiding 
CONSPIRACY INC. so much?  Or is it just that they're too scared?  Ooh!  Did ALIEN 
really know what she was doing when she challenged DARRELL ISSA?  A 1-1-0 speaks 
volumes.  (Zontoni said that.  I don't know what it means.) Do you think ALIEN knew 
something before she challenged DARRELL ISSA?  She got a win and 18 points.  What 
will the gal do next?  People were asking me did RUMSFELD REALLY challenge KANGAROO 
KATE?  (all right, maybe they didn't, but it sounded good!) It wasn't a spectacular 
fight, or anything, but KANGAROO KATE wants me to write about it since she was 
defeated by RUMSFELD.  Satisfied?  SNAKE CHARMER must not be a good enough fighter to 
get in fair fights.  He challenged TERMINATOR.  13 is a big difference.  (Well, 
that's what they tell me.) I thought SNAKE CHARMER showed great skill and promise 
when he bested TERMINATOR.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  GIDEON really fought hard against MARIE.  That'll teach WOMEN OF REALITY 
not to go and kill any of BIBLE BELTERS' guys again, huh!  What if they had a fight 
and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  I had 
a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROBERT BYRD 6039             11   7  0   108       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUSTICE 5949                 19  10  0   120       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             17  19  1   105       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             13   5  0   103       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-DARKLE 5709                  13   5  0   100       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 18   8  3    91       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEAR MARKET 6010             11  13  1    89       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-DARKSIDE 2714                10   6  0    88       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              18  33  0    87       THE ZOO (205)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              15   2  0    84       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 LEE 5831                     15  29  0    83       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 SKEEMER 5965                 15  12  0    82       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-HISS 6017                    15   4  0    78       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 RUMSFELD 6032                 8  11  0    78       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           16  28  1    77       THE ZOO (205)
 PLATINUM 5677                12  25  1    77       ROCK ETTS (595)
 BLOOD MOON 3270               8   5  2    71       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050           9   7  1    69       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  13  1    68       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 FALLING STAR 3260             8   6  1    67       LOST SOULS 1 (300)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAT TAX 5998                11  14  0    64       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-ECLIPSE 3258                  7   3  0    60       LOST SOULS 1 (300)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MACRIBSI 6024                 9   5  0    52       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-VENOM 6059                    6   6  0    41       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 GIDEON 3308                   4   2  0    40       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 BARB 6060                     7   5  0    38       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           7   1  0    37       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRIGHT STAR 2715              6   9  0    31       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
-NERF 6105                     3   3  0    29       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             5   6  1    28       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            5   2  1    28       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SKANK 6114                    3   1  0    24       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             4   3  1    22       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-THE TOAD 6121                 3   0  0    22       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-THE SCORPION 6117             3   0  0    21       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-SHUX 5788                     3   2  0    21       4-LETTER CURSE WORDS (663)
-THE SNAKE 6119                3   0  0    21       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 LEE II 6170                   2   0  0    21       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
-THE LIZARD 6120               2   1  1    19       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 ALIEN 6156                    1   1  0    19       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 MARIE 6128                    4   1  1    18       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 SNAKE CHARMER 6169            3   0  0    16       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 MAYBE LATER 6176              1   0  0    15       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                2   3  0    14       THE ZOO (205)
 ANN COULTER 6168              3   0  0    13       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ICE COLD 6175                 1   0  0    13       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 GIREFFY 6102                  2   6  0    12       THE ZOO (205)
 WHAT UP 6172                  1   0  0    11       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 NO HURRY 6174                 1   0  0    11       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           1   3  0     9       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-LITTLE PONY 6106              0   3  0     9       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
 HANNAH 6144                   2   1  0     8       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
-THE CENTIPEDE 6118            2   1  0     7       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 SAVAGE DRAGON 6155            1   1  0     7       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
-CRANKY SNAKE 6171             1   0  0     6       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 CHENEY 6153                   1   2  0     5       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-BROTHER JUSTIN 6127           1   2  0     5       LOONEY (693)
-OINK 6142                     1   0  0     5       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 SLUG I 3304                   1   0  0     5       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167            1   2  0     5       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ZOOIE 6152                    0   4  0     4       THE ZOO (205)
 D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162         0   3  0     3       OXYMORONS (698)
-POINTY TEETH 6165             0   2  0     2       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 KORN 6154                     0   2  0     2       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 TERMINATOR 6158               0   2  0     2       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 EASY BREEZE 6173              0   1  0     1       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 KELLUMBOZO'S DADS 6181        0   1  0     1       OXYMORONS (698)
 JUDITH 2 6183                 0   1  0     1       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
-BIG FAT HEN 6166              0   1  0     1       ANDORIAN WIMPS (651)
 RUFUS 6180                    0   1  0     1       BIBLE BELTERS (364)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
SCUM I 6179            0  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     DARK CHAMPION 407     473 NONE    
MERIAM 3305            2  3 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     THE LIZARD 6120       472         
NICODEMUS 6145         1  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     MARIE 6128            472 JUST REV
JFK 1660              18 21 1 THE DEMOCRATS 202     EDWIN MEESE 828       469 REVENGED
MARIJUANA INITIA 6164  0  2 0 OXYMORONS 698         ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107    472         
KUJOE 6157             0  2 0 SAVAGE HEARTS 2 697   MASTER KAYR VAILL 406 473 NONE    
ZELORA 6068            3  5 0 THE ZOO 205           DARRELL ISSA 6108     469 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kellumbo -- Wow, you really are a punk, aren't you?  I had heard some banter back and
forth about Solven, but I didn't know that you were actually a no-class loser.  Hmm,
live and learn.  Save your breath justifying yourself, I know all I need to know
about you. -- The Sentinel, mgr. Oxymorons

Al Gore -- Imagine my surprise when I read the Duelmaster's column and then the
personal ads.  The only time our warriors have met was when the Centipede fought
Ambassador Braun, and this was an excellent, well matched contest.  My apologies if
the beating she received embarrassed you or The Democracks.  If I have offended you
or your Democraps, I humbly beg a thousand pardons.  The Dumpycrats are a famous team
feared by all, and you, Al Goat as their manager are known far and wide, to be a
genius.  Perhaps you should Ignore Gary Condit's opinion that down challenging is for
cowards, and down challenge my young ones.  I fear that this is the only way that you
might hope to defeat one of them.  Please, just make sure that you have at least a 10
FE and 20 recognition point advantage.  I would hate for the glorious warriors of The
Doppycracks to embarrass themselves or you Mr. Bore. -- Your humble admirer, Master
Tazo, Mgr. The Poison Clan

Judge -- Please accept my apologies for failing to properly introduce myself.  I am
most fortunate in being able to play a small part in the day to day workings of The
Poison Clan. -- Master Tazo, Mgr. The Poison Clan

Bible Belters -- Please accept our condolences on the death of your most worthy
fighter, Meriam.  Perhaps if she had just a little more experience....  It is a moot
point.  I will assume that we can put this behind us and continue our friendly
association. -- Master Tazo, Mgr. The Poison Clan

Bible Belters -- See what picking on the slow guy gets you.  I have a scar on my face
now, you know.  Did I mention that I was not ready. -- The Centipede

Judge -- I save the Democratic names for my 0-1-0 Dark Arena fodder.  You must have
missed Tipper Gore marching off to face the Black Orc.  Does that help you place me?
Sorry if I am purloining good names.  Ann Coulter seemed a great match for Rush
Limbaugh since I had two new warriors and I am sure she is of a conpiratory nature.
-- Damion, mgr. Conspiracy Inc.

Al Gore -- Couldn't resist the Ann Coulter vs. Carol M. Braun matchup.  Sorry 'bout
the down challenge. -- Damion

Maximus -- I've put you on my dance card.  I'm betting you're avoiding me.  C'mon,
third time's the charm. -- George Bush Sr.

Hannah -- That, my dear, was one of the ugliest fights I have ever experienced.  I
don't think I'll challenge you again. -- Rush

Flat Tax -- Arrgh!  A matchup against someone with 19 more fights than me and I don't
learn a single thing???  There ain't no justice! -- Darrell

Savage Hearts -- Welcome to the arena and watch out for Ilsa She-Wolf.  She has a
thing for warriors with 1 recognition point. -- Damion, mgr. Conspiracy Inc.

The Toad -- You even have the PERSONALITY of a toad, and I didn't think toads had
much personality to begin with.  I mean, you just sit there under toadstools, because
of being too fat to get on top, and generate warts and catch flies with your tongue.
That's nothing to thrill anybody. -- Gireffy

Monty Python -- I hate snakes.  They give me the cold creeps. -- Kangaroo Kate

Hiss -- Thinth you thurrendered, I WILL thpare your worthleth life.  Tho there! --
Turkey Joe

Alien -- You have a savage heart?  Odd.  If you were really alien, you know, you
probably wouldn't have a heart at all. -- Kalamazoo

Cranky Snake -- That'll be the arthritis, I suppose.  It must be hard to be a snake
and not supple. -- Zooie

Lizard -- (indignantly)  That wasn't luck!  That was...er, luck, yeah, that's what it
was. -- Gireffy

Maximus and Two Plus Two -- Alas, I am now on a diet.  A surfeit of Total Parries
made me bilious. -- Turkey Joe

George Bush -- I knew if you could beat Maximus, that I didn't have a chance.  Stay
away from a cute little innocent Blind Girl for a bit, will ya.  I'll have to contact
child protection services if you keep this up! -- Blind Girl

Chalk up kill number one for Ilsa She-Wolf!  Hoooowwwwlllllllllll!!!!!!

Cheney -- Hey, you're not a snake either!  Unless you count low down dirty rotten
snake as a snake, that is. -- Snake Charmer

Bear Market -- If only I could have parried one or two more blows, I would have been
in the clear.  Congrats, and thanks for the skills.  It dulls the hurt a bit. --
Skeemer

Gary Condit -- Such a nice surprise.  Looks like my challenge got through after all.
-- Maximus

Master Taco -- If I had wanted to give you that kind of "warm welcome", you would
have known it. -- Kellumbo

Woelfe -- You are right, some people still uphold that silly Andorian thing.  Go
figure. -- DK

Monty -- Congrats on the invite.  Good job for a "bad" style warrior I must admit. --
Kellumbo

All -- Now that is what I call a welcome back to the arena.  That was like, here take
this maul upside the head welcome to Solven m##@###@#!  Heheh, I like it.  I like it.
Thank you, sir, may I have another.  :)  I going to like this arena; I like a good
challenge.  I look forward to meeting you all on the hot sands for some fierce
competition. -- Silver Stroke, mgr. Savage Hearts

Lee -- Now that was a savage arse whipping, heheh. -- Savage Dragon

Centipede -- I'll be back. -- Terminator

Woelfe -- Sniff....  Sniff....  I knew I smelled a wet dog in this arena.  :)  Hail,
old friend. -- Silver Stroke

Marie -- Poor Nico.  What was he thinking challenging you?  Perhaps I will fare
better. -- Gideon

The Lizard -- Don't get fidgety, your turn's coming. -- Gideon

Al Gore -- Sure, we have a "no avoids" pact.  Bring on your challenges. -- Judge

Al Gore -- I did not appreciate your comparison of Republicans to "Nazis" in your DM
column.  That was beyond the line.  We will make sure to send a few extra challenges
your way.

Morgan -- Thanks for giving me the shot.  It was fun. -- Justice

Lee -- HA!  Two broken weapons and I still win.  I bet you didn't think this old coot
could punch so hard.  Now where is that other scum at. -- R. Byrd

Anthony Scalie -- Good close fight.  Your armor must be magical. -- Al Gore

Ann Coulter -- What is such a pretty white woman doing picking on a little ol
Democrat.  Go smoke another cigarette and get cancer, you blonde trollop. -- C.M.
Braun

Maximus -- Lucky matchup for you.  Condit doesn't like the scum very much.  He
prefers turkeys. -- Al Gore

Skeemer -- Ha!  Thanks for the easy win and skills. -- Bear Market

Kangaroo Kate -- I'm graduating next turn.  Don't you enjoy our fights?  I sure do.
-- G. Condit

Judge -- Would you rather have one of Kellumbo's Kids as Duelmaster? -- Al Gore

Solven -- Happy New Year, all!! --THawk

Solven -- Well, it's been fun. I'm off to the Isle to join my stable mates.  For
those interested:  11-12-12-17-9-12-11; Poor Endurance, Good Damage, Normal
Encumbrance/Hit Points; Master Decise, Adv Expert Ini and Atk; Expert Def. Faves:
VL/H, Learns Def, Fave Tactic: Dec. Weapon -- War Flail (UGH!) -- Morgan
P.S.  Maybe that new shade of purple will look good on my war flail....

10 January 2004
ZalCon2 Updates (1/9/04)

     The contest will be starting on the turn due February 23rd, 2004 and run for 20
turns.
     Only one team will be allowed for each manager in the contest, regardless of
whether additional teams are announced as contest entries.  No exceptions for any
reason.
     The Style Master points should read that there is +1 point for beating a member
of your own style even if the warrior is not registered for the contest.
     Rolling points for consecutive turns as Style Master means that your warrior
gets the extra point every turn after the first 3 that he continues to hold the
title.
     The points for Quality Wins should be clarified to read the winning warrior is
ranked below by the number of recognition points needed for each bonus point at the
start of the fight.  For example, Warrior A (3-2-0, 17) beats Warrior B (4-1-0, 35)
and receives 2 bonus points under Quality Win for the 18 point difference in the
ranking.
     I believe that is all the clarifications for the moment, please feel free to
email, diplo, call or write me with any other questions or concerns about the
contest.
          Robert Occhipinti aka Zalgor Prigg

10 January 2004
                *     *     *  Third Annual Turf War  *     *      *

     Come one and all to DM 47 (North Fork) for the Third Annual Turf War!  Rules of
the contest will be posted in Turn #208's newsletter (due date Feb. 23).  The contest
will begin on Turn #209 (due date March 22).
     So, get a team there and register!  To register, you must send me a donation of
one (1) rollup CERTIFICATE.  Then, declare your alliance and team in the North Fork
personals.  You may also declare a warrior as champion, and that warrior will earn
(or lose!) double points in the contest!
     Roll-up certs will be *ALL* awarded as prizes, in addition to:

*** Highest Scoring Alliance -- Gets to Rename DM 47 for 6 months!
*** Most returns from DA (Alliance) -- Rename DA monsters for 6 months!
*** Most listings as "Style Masters" (Alliance) -- Pick arena to host the April "05
    Grand Tournament!
*** Warrior with the most awards -- Arenamaster named after him for 6 months!
*** Alliance with the most awards -- Pick the slow arena for TW 4!
*** Team with most "Style Master" listings -- Discover favorites of one warrior on
    team!
*** Warrior with most "Style Master" listings -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns!
    (I'll transfer $7.50 to the manager's account)
*** Alliance with the most kills -- Rename the stand-ins for 6 months!
*** Highest scoring Warrior -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns.  (I'll transfer
    $7.50 to their manager's account.)

     The contest will run for 10 turns, with the winners announced on turn #220.  See
the Turn #208 North Fork newsletter for complete rules and scoring system!  Direct
"declarations" to:  A.D. in the personals, and prize pot entry donations to:
                      Jason Mazuch HSP H-2
                      P.O. Box 339 #924385
                      Sparta, GA  31087-0339
     By snail mail or diplo through RSI.
               Bloody Sands!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KUJOE was butchered by MASTER KAYR VAILL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SCUM I was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
GIDEON handily defeated MARIE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
D.O.A. DOMINANCE was vanquished by ILSA SHE-WOLF in a 1 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
ROBERT BYRD subdued MAXIMUS in a 2 minute master's Challenge Title competition.
BEAR MARKET was vanquished by JUSTICE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
GARY CONDIT overpowered TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
LEE was defeated by GEORGE BUSH in a 6 minute gruesome uneven Challenge melee.
RUMSFELD won victory over KANGAROO KATE in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
NANCY PELOSI was vanquished by BARB in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SNAKE CHARMER luckily beat TERMINATOR in a 12 minute novice's Challenge fight.
CAROL M. BRAUN viciously subdued ZOOIE in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge conflict.
CHENEY was subdued by KALAMAZOO in a 2 minute bloody novice's Challenge brawl.
ALIEN outwaited DARRELL ISSA in a crowd boring 10 minute Challenge fight.
LEE II overpowered GIREFFY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
BLIND GIRL unbelievably bested FLAT TAX in a crowd pleasing 4 minute master's bout.
SKEEMER defeated SCHWARZENEGGER in a 3 minute bout.
FALLING STAR was luckily beaten by PLATINUM in a exciting 4 minute veteran's bout.
BLOOD MOON savagely defeated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
ANTHONY SCALIA narrowly defeated BRIGHT STAR in a 4 minute brutal duel.
HANNAH luckily beat EASY BREEZE in a 2 minute gruesome beginner's fray.
KORN was viciously subdued by ANN COULTER in a 2 minute gory novice's bout.
SAVAGE DRAGON savagely defeated RUFUS in a 2 minute gory novice's duel.
RUSH LIMBAUGH was outwaited by SLUG I in a tiresome 19 minute novice's fight.
WHAT UP vanquished KELLUMBOZO'S DADS in a 1 minute gruesome uneven bout.
NO HURRY overpowered JUDITH 2 in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
ICE COLD handily defeated FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MAYBE LATER overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         STRIKING ATTACK   54 -  24 -  3      69  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         PARRY-LUNGE       34 -  21 -  2      62  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     26 -  23 -  1      53  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  38 -  1      51  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  19 -  1      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  60 -  5      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    15 -  27 -  0      36  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  22 -  0      33  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         AIMED BLOW         8 -  17 -  1      32  |

Turn 473 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  4         3  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   ROBERT BYRD 6039           11   7  0  108 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               19  10  0  120 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEORGE BUSH 1708           13   5  0  103 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
TOTAL PARRY      MAXIMUS 5966               18   8  3   91 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
BASHING ATTACK   BLOOD MOON 3270             8   5  2   71 LOST SOULS 1 (300)
STRIKING ATTACK  GIDEON 3308                 4   2  0   40 BIBLE BELTERS (364)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JUSTICE 5949.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was FLAT TAX 5998.  The ten other most popular fighters were FALLING STAR 3260, 
RUMSFELD 6032, GEORGE BUSH 1708, SKEEMER 5965, BLOOD MOON 3270, BRIGHT STAR 2715, 
ROBERT BYRD 6039, BARB 6060, KALAMAZOO 6116, and SCHWARZENEGGER 6050.

The least popular fighter this week was SLUG I 3304.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167, SNAKE CHARMER 6169, ALIEN 6156, DARRELL ISSA 6108, 
TERMINATOR 6158, JUDITH 2 6183, KELLUMBOZO'S DADS 6181, RUFUS 6180, KORN 6154, and 
GIREFFY 6102.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

MONTY PYTHON (22-5939) SERPENTINE INC. (85)