Date   : 01/28/2004    Duedate: 02/10/2004


DM-22    TURN-474

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6039) [12-7-0,119]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DARKSIDE                       THE LIZARD
LOST SOULS 1 (300)             THE POISON CLAN (692)
(22-2714) [11-6-0,137]         (22-6120) [3-1-1,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JUSTICE                        ROBERT BYRD
(22-5949) [19-11-0,88]         (22-6039) [12-7-0,119]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LOST SOULS 1 (300)          85
2. CHINESE CONNECTION (700)    36      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. THE DEMOCRATS (202)         31      Unchartered Team
4. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       28
5. THE POISON CLAN (692)       18      THE POISON CLAN (692)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*THE POISON CLAN (692)     16   4  1 80.0   1/ 2 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    11  4 0
 2/ 2*JUST CHILLIN (699)         7   3  0 70.0   2/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     9  6 1
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     88  50  4 63.8   3/ 4 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     9  6 0
 4/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    128  89  8 59.0   4/ 6 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       9  6 0
 5/ 5 ROCK ETTS (595)          404 281  7 59.0   5/ 3*THE POISON CLAN (692)     8  2 1
 6- 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)     137 105  6 56.6   6/10*JUST CHILLIN (699)        7  3 0
 7/10 LOST SOULS 1 (300)        43  37  3 53.8   7/ 5*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       6  7 0
 8/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    320 291 23 52.4   8/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)    5  9 1
 9/ 8 WOMEN OF REALITY (669)   114 105  3 52.1   9/ 9 THE ZOO (205)             5 10 0
10/11 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      111 111  8 50.0  10/15 LOST SOULS 1 (300)        4  2 0
11/ 0*CHINESE CONNECTION (700)   2   2  0 50.0  11/14*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     3 12 0
12/14*BIBLE BELTERS (364)       12  13  0 48.0  12/ 0*CHINESE CONNECTION (700)  2  2 0
13/13 OLD MCDONALD (621)       257 280 13 47.9  13- 7 SERPENTINE INC. (85)      2  3 0
14/15 THE ZOO (205)            329 438  4 42.9  14/11 ROCK ETTS (595)           1  2 0
15/17*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)      3  12  0 20.0  15/16*OXYMORONS (698)           0  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
16/18*OXYMORONS (698)            0   8  0  0.0  16/12 OLD MCDONALD (621)        0  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                   The Poison Clan

     There we were, it was fight day and we were preparing to depart for the arena.
The Toad was lounging beside the pool soaking up the sun.  The Lizard was climbing
the walls of our palatial mansion, in anticipation the day's fights.  The Scorpion
and Snake were bickering over who looked the best in their new armor.  The Centipede
was, as usual, sleeping off a hangover on the couch.  The beautiful Fok sisters were
sleeping on either side of him, and I, Tazo the master of the Poison Clan, made a few
last minute checks of who would be at the arena fighting today.  Looking for
favorable match-ups for my young ones.
     As we gathered in the great hall, I had a sense that this was not going to be a
good day.  Nothing I could put a finger on, just a feeling.  We ventured out of the
mansion and made our way to the carriage house.  Chun-Lo, our driver, was frantic.
It seems that someone had stolen the Carriage.  So, we were forced to make the long
trek to the arena by foot.
     After walking for a few miles we heard a vehicle coming up behind us.  As the
short yellow bus approached we saw that it had "DEMOCRATS" painted on the side.  Was
this the legendary "Short Bus" of the Democrats?  Our answer came quickly as Al Gore
himself stuck his head out the window to jeer at us.  The Snake immediately started
to laugh at the sight of the Democrats' warriors all strapped into their seats,
drooling on themselves.  I had to admonish him to keep quiet.  It was not polite to
laugh at the unfortunate souls.  I asked Mr. Gore if he would please give us a ride
to the arena, but he said, "Sorry Tazo, but I just can not figure out how to open up
this darn wheel chair ramp.  We have to have someone help us open it at the arena,
and besides Carol Mosley Braun is still a little sore about that whipping your man
gave her."  The Centipede chuckled at that and winked at her through the bus window.
I can't say for sure but I thought she started to smile and winked back.  Maybe the
rumors are true that she likes it rough.  Her record would certainly support that.
Al Gore continued on, saying, "It's lucky for you Tazo that I can't get out of here
because I have a whole can of whoopass in here for you."  Now I could see into the
bus and the only thing I saw that resembled a can of "whoopass" were the drool
buckets hanging from his fighters' necks.  I just nodded and smiled.  It is always
best to humor the mentally ill.  As the Democrats drove off, I was a little relieved
that they did not give us a ride.  It would have been embarrassing to say the least
to arrive with them at the arena.
     We continued on the road to the arena.  It was getting late and there was a good
chance we would not make it to register for the day's events.  As we passed the
warrior's cemetery on the outskirts of town, we noticed that there was a large new
expansion to the west.  It was filled with Woelfe's Bible Belters.  Seems they have
had a run of bad luck of late.  We paid our respects to the proud gladiators and
continued on our way.  As a side note, it was all I could do to keep The Centipede
from dancing on Meriam's grave.  He kept mumbling something about not being ready and
rubbing the fresh scar on his face.  The Lizard on the other hand seemed very nervous
and kept looking over his shoulder as if he expected someone to ambush him.
     Our worst fears materialized when we arrived at the gate of the arena and were
told that the fights were all filled.  It was disappointing to say the least.  All we
could do was file into the stands and watch the fights.  The fights were spectacular
and the warriors of Solven again proved their mettle.
     When we left we saw yet another of Woelfe's fighters going to the cemetery.  His
fighters must be really afraid of him if they choose to die rather than accept
defeat.  As we passed the Democrat's bus, we saw Al Gore strapping his warriors in
for the long ride back to the asylum.  It was at this time that I realized how much I
love this arena.  I resolved that we will never again miss a chance to fight for
glory in Solven.  Our strategies will be formulated and submitted to the commission
even earlier.  We will fight and make a name for The Poison Clan in Solven.

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #23 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Off the coast of Andoria:

     Towers rising out of the misty dawn.  They had sailed due east from Skaithvarn,
so that had to be the coast of Andoria, but Raoul couldn't remember any coastal city
with such slender, pearl-colored spires.  Those looked more like the skyline of a
dream than practical stonework.  They caught the growing light and glowed.  They were
beautiful, but unearthly.  Unreal.  Not residences for practical folk.  Raoul thought
it a fitting destination for the boat Khaldren had made with his magic, though.  The
boat was, in its way, as dreamlike as the city ahead;  The hull was mother of pearl,
the sails were webs of cloud.  Magic, of course.  Powerful magic.  Raoul wondered
uneasily what Khaldren had done to assemble that power.
     The exiled Kraelian had already demonstrated that he was ruthless in pursuit of
his goals.  Raoul shifted slightly, uneasily aware of the waves of magic that seethed
throughout the uncanny vessel.  Khaldren had not hesitated to cast a spell on the
three gladiators when they entered his tower in Skaithvarn.  A binding of loyalty and
obedience, the Lord Protector guessed.  He had not resisted at the time.  In truth,
he had been taken completely by surprise.  But he sensed that the spell had not
gripped him so thoroughly as the wizard intended.  He was fairly sure he could break
it, and very sure that he wanted to be further away from Khaldren when he did that--
THIS spell, he could break, but what if the wizard immediately countered with
something stronger?  And the fate of the two women with him was unknown; they might
be as lightly held as he was, or belong to Khaldren body and soul.
     "That is Zorpunt," Jeri Northwind said.  Her voice was calm, emotionless.  Very
     Zorpunt?  Raoul blinked and controlled his impulse to question that statement.
True, there were towers in the coastal city, but nothing like those slender spires of
glass!  Without turning his head, Raoul looked sideways at the wizard.
     Khaldren's face was set in lines of effort, sheened with sweat.  Using his magic
to turn the work-a-day port city into this dream?  Wasteful of energy...unless he had
some inexhaustible source at hand.  And why?  "Krael shall be reborn," he muttered
through clenched teeth, "and Celestinvael, and Orgillat in the south.  But this shall
be my seat of power in the new world that will be...."
     The ship of pearl glided to a stop beside a dock that had been transformed
into...agate, Raoul decided.  Or something like that.  It was the kind of thing the
Chaos contamination might have done in the recent past.  Maybe that was part of
Khaldren's power, that he could harness the residual Chaos energy?  Not a comfortable
thought, although the gladiator supposed it was better than using lives to fuel
magic.  So long as it didn't get loose.
     There was no one on the dock, no one moving anywhere in sight.  Khaldren stepped
ashore as an emperor might step ashore in conquered province.  The gladiators
followed, and the ship dissolved into mist behind them.
     The Assassins' Guild's Black Book appeared in the wizard's hands, and he smiled
at it coldly.  "I note that 'Arenamaster Kai' has a secret he would not like
advertised," Khaldren murmured.  "For a price, I will keep his secret between these
covers.  Bring him to me."  He didn't look at the gladiators at any point while he
     Raoul felt the magic sliding around him, urging him forward, and he was willing
to go.  Once out of the wizard's sight, he would test the binding, but not here.  He
and the two women walked quietly into the city.  Jeri, a native of Zorpunt, was
slightly ahead of the older gladiators.
     The streets were filled with mist even though the sun must now be up.  The
buildings, even the street underfoot, showed the effects of transforming magic.  They
were ethereal, idealized.  Unreal.  Nothing and no one moved that Raoul could see.
     Jeri turned a corner.  Looking up the cross street, Raoul saw what he guessed
was the arena, although no arena of his experience had ever had those delicate arches
of gold-veined marble.
     Raoul stopped, setting his feet firmly when the magic tried to force him onward.
It scrabbled at his mind, feeling like a handful of energetic bugs.  But he wasn't a
puppet.  He would not BE a puppet, especially not for a man who should have been dead
centuries ago!  He served his manager Generalissimo Puerco, King Mickeal of Andoria,
and Sheila Greywand.  The oath he had taken when he first reached the Isle shimmered
in his mind.  Khaldren's magic shrieked against it, fingernails on a slate, then fell
away.  The wizard would--must--know that he'd broken free.  Raoul turned set off at a
run down the first street he saw.  A real street, this one, with cracked paving
stones, and rubbish piled against the curbs.
     Someone was running and panting beside him.  He risked a glance.  Hallie O'Dene,
the Delarquan Lady Protector.  But not Jeri.
     They ran for several minutes, but at the first sign of people ahead, living
people, they dropped to a walk without needing to discuss it.  Running people are
conspicuous.  Neither of them spoke of their problem, either.  Time enough for that
when they were out of the city.  Zorpunt was a narrow city, stretched along its
river; and they were crossing its axis.  There was a bridge ahead, which would put
them on the south bank and that much farther from the arena and the dock where they
had left Khaldren..  That much closer to the countryside.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene leaned back against one of the trees at the edge of the road.  She
was breathing hard.  "Do you think we're far enough away?"
     Raoul dropped onto the grass beside her and glanced back toward Zorpunt.  The
city's skyline, barely visible in the distance, shimmered slightly but otherwise
looked normal.  "I think so, doll," he answered.  "I hope so!"
     After a minute, Hallie sat up straighter.  "I wish we could have brought Jeri
away, too!  I didn't realize until it was too late that she wasn't with us."
     "I don't think we could've done it, doll," Raoul said quietly.  He took off his
hat and stared at the dusty crown for a moment, then put it back on.  "I think it's
Lady Greywand's magic that saved us--the oath we took when we got to the Isle.  Jeri
might be a Lady Protector, but she never went to the Isle.  She had no defense
against...his spell."  He found himself reluctant to speak the wizard's name here, as
though it might draw the man's attention.
     "People have to be warned--"
     "And there's only us to do it," Raoul agreed.  "I'm heading for Andor by the
fastest road."
     "And I for Delarq Tor.  We are menaced, too.  Celestinvael and Orgillat!  Gods
protect us.  If they're anything like the histories say...."  She shook her head.
     "I've heard of Celestinvael," Raoul said slowly.  "It was between Ardivent and
the Federation, and it existed at about the same time as Krael.  But Orgillat?"
     "Near the mouth of the Selwin river," Hallie said.  "It was of the same time.
We remember it--when we must--as a place of power and fear.  If...that man would
recreate the Empire of Skorlos, he must be stopped!  By any means that we can."
     Raoul nodded.  "The legends of Krael are dark legends, too.  I should be able to
reach King Mickael with the warning.  Who would be equivalent in the Delarquan
     "No one has complete power," Hallie said, frowning.  "Princess Chrysanth, maybe,
but...."  She sighed and shrugged.  "It's a place to start."  She got to her feet and
held out her hand as Raoul rose also.  "Good luck."
     "To both of us, we'll need it," Raoul agreed, standing.  He grasped her hand
warmly for a moment.  "May all your gods go with you."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Arenamaster Kai of Zorpunt glared at the stranger, hands twitching with the urge
to reach for his sword.  But the damned wizard had already demonstrated that he could
get a spell off faster than even an arenamaster could attack.  At least, Kai supposed
it was a spell, even if it was like nothing he'd ever seen before.  And nothing he
ever wanted to experience again.  "What do you want?" he croaked.
     "Your obedience.  This 'arena'--it will now be run for me, instead of Sheila of
the Grey Wand.  The blood will be spilled in my name, not hers, the power from that
blood will come to me, not to her.  This will be the beginning of a new Alastari, and
I will rule it!"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 239): LUMBERING WAIF of HAPLESS WAIF (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 481): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 480): 10% VIGORISH of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 473): ROBERT BYRD of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 470): TAZZY TIGER of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 469): SIAMESE SPY of KITTY KONSPIRACY (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 470): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Klondike Kate, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 466): MAD MAX of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 432): CMOT DIBBLER of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 425): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 418): BANANA JR of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 187): RED EYE of ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 329): LIGHTNING IX of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 319): ELENA of SITTIN' ON ACES (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 142): TOMB of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 366): JE SUIS BIEN of HEADBANGERS from CALEAM (Sablon-O-Vlad)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 239): Z GLADIATORZ (Mr. Zee, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 481): THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 480): TOTEM (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 473): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 470): AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 469): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 470): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 466): I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 432): BEYOND THE PALE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 425): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 418): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 187): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 329): 4000 BLOWS (Nuln, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 319): SAFE HAVEN (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 142): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 366): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 239): ABYSS of PHANTOM FORCES 2 (The Catalyst, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 481): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                   (turn 480): RICK DERRIS of VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 472): MONTY PYTHON of SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 470): CURTIS JOSEPH of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 469): MR. GRINCH of HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 425): SKOWIE of SPRINGFIELD XIII (Snotman, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 418): BANANA JR of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 329): ACHONDROPLASIA of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                          LLLENGEANCE of LUROCIANS VI (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
              (turn 328): LLOSMIC LLAMMER of LUROCIANS VI (The Greek Guy, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail Solven,

Robert Byrd here to tell you kids what is up.  Is that the right lingo the kids use
today?  Instead of telling ya'll why Democrats rule and Republicans suck, I will tell
you what are my plans for this turn.  I will, of course, be challenging down to find
some easy win and a few skills before I graduate in a few turns.  Maximus was quick
to claim to have my number, but I think you misdialed, so expect another challenge
your way just to make my point clear.  I think I challenged G'Dubya.  I can't
remember.  Al Gore takes care of that stuff for me.  Maybe it was Justice....  Oh
well, it don't matter, I will take on whomever.  Like a tick on a Coon Dog's behind,
Master Taco will get some of that special attention his boasting deserves.  Judge, we
have to respect your skills and we always look forward to our battles.  Kellumbo, you
have earned our respect.  Wimpy, you will be missed when you leave.  Damion, it is
good to see you again.  Sentinel, good to meet you, your reputation precedes you.
Silver Stroke, welcome to Solven.  THawk, you never talk, you're to quiet, but you do
good work.  Leeta, good to see you active here.  Sorry if I missed anybody, I got
diagnosed with CRS, Can't Remember Sh*t . Well, I got to go now, Al Gore is telling
me to shut up.  I must be babbling again.  I don't know  why he gets so upset about
the little things.  You just have to sit back and relax sometimes and check out the
scenery.  Wow, check out that tree, oh that is a maul.  Okay, okay, see you all on
the sands.  Go Democrats.

-- Robert Byrd

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in SOLVEN!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Like, KELLUMBO'S KIDS had to be 
so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by CONSPIRACY INC.!  Way to go 
CONSPIRACY INC.!  I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings or anything, but SERPENTINE 
INC. really goofed with their 0-0-0.  LOST SOULS 1 like really fought hard to move up 
to 10th from 15th.  Way to go!  What was the name of that team who got 4-1-0 this 
turn for a total 111-111-8 you ask?  (Sure)  THE DEMOCRATS' their name, and 
fighting's their game!  MVP award for DARKSIDE?  LOST SOULS 1's proud of him after 
beating SKEEMER and getting 49 points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  BLIND GIRL's 
match with BLOOD MOON cost her a loss of 16 points!  MAXIMUS thinks its 18-9-3 and 
studly character is good enough to face up to the Duelmaster.  Any bets?  This 
Duelmaster is like something else!  ROBERT BYRD stopped MAXIMUS dead in its tracks!  
I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want 
photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  The warriors of BIBLE BELTERS must be getting lonely.  They were 
the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I don't?  Hhmph!  What kind 
of warriors are THE POISON CLAN?  BIBLE BELTERS, an easy team to beat if I ever saw 
one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Like, is ILSA SHE-WOLF popular, or 
what?  She was challenged the most in all of SOLVEN!  She's got a 6-2-1, is that 
good?  Ooh!  Did ANTHONY SCALIA really know what he was doing when he challenged FLAT 
TAX?  A 8-1-0 speaks volumes.  (Zontoni said that.  I don't know what it means.) 
ANTHONY SCALIA was so studly out there in the sands!  Beating FLAT TAX and getting 20 
points.  CONSPIRACY INC. must be proud, for sure!  SNAKE CHARMER must not be a good 
enough fighter to get in fair fights.  He challenged JUDITH 2.  15 is a big 
difference.  (Well, that's what they tell me.) I thought SNAKE CHARMER showed great 
skill and promise when he beat JUDITH 2.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big 
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All SOLVEN ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear 
from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Remember 
you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROBERT BYRD 6039             12   7  0   119       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARKSIDE 2714                11   6  0   137       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
 GARY CONDIT 5914             18  19  1   119       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              19  33  0    96       THE ZOO (205)
 BLOOD MOON 3270               9   5  2    96       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
 BEAR MARKET 6010             12  13  1    92       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             13   6  0    90       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 18   9  3    89       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 RUMSFELD 6032                 9  11  0    89       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 JUSTICE 5949                 19  11  0    88       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 LEE 5831                     15  30  0    83       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050          10   7  1    81       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           16  29  1    78       THE ZOO (205)
-HISS 6017                    15   4  0    78       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 SKEEMER 5965                 15  13  0    75       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 PLATINUM 5677                12  26  1    69       ROCK ETTS (595)
 BLIND GIRL 6041              15   3  0    68       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 TWO PLUS TWO 5910            13  14  1    68       OLD MCDONALD (621)
-FALLING STAR 3260             8   6  1    67       LOST SOULS 1 (300)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ECLIPSE 3258                  7   3  0    60       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103           8   1  0    57       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAT TAX 5998                11  15  0    52       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MACRIBSI 6024                 9   6  0    45       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 BRIGHT STAR 2715              7   9  0    42       LOST SOULS 1 (300)
-VENOM 6059                    6   6  0    41       SERPENTINE INC. (85)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NANCY PELOSI 6076             6   6  1    33       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 THE LIZARD 6120               3   1  1    33       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 BARB 6060                     7   6  0    32       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107            6   2  1    30       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 GIDEON 3308                   4   3  0    28       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 THE SCORPION 6117             4   0  0    27       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 THE TOAD 6121                 4   0  0    27       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             5   3  1    25       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ANN COULTER 6168              4   0  0    25       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNAKE CHARMER 6169            4   0  0    22       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 ICE COLD 6175                 2   0  0    22       JUST CHILLIN (699)
-LEE II 6170                   2   0  0    21       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                3   3  0    20       THE ZOO (205)
 LIA' KIAN 6185                1   0  0    19       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 MARIE 6128                    4   2  1    16       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 WHAT UP 6172                  2   0  0    16       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 PING' LEE 6188                1   0  0    15       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 THE SNAKE 6119                3   1  0    13       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 HANNAH 6144                   3   1  0    13       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 GIREFFY 6102                  2   7  0    13       THE ZOO (205)
 ALIEN 6156                    1   2  0    12       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 CHENEY 6153                   2   2  0    11       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167            2   2  0    11       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 TERMINATOR 6158               1   2  0    11       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 EASY BREEZE 6173              1   1  0    10       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162         0   4  0    10       OXYMORONS (698)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SANDSTONE 6056                2   1  0     8       ROCK ETTS (595)
 THE CENTIPEDE 6118            2   2  0     8       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 NO HURRY 6174                 1   1  0     7       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           1   4  0     7       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-CRANKY SNAKE 6171             1   0  0     6       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 RUFUS 6180                    1   1  0     6       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 SAVAGE DRAGON 6155            1   2  0     5       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 ZOOIE 6152                    0   5  0     5       THE ZOO (205)
 MAYBE LATER 6176              1   1  0     4       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 OINK 6142                     1   1  0     4       OLD MCDONALD (621)
 SLUG I 3304                   1   1  0     4       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 KELLUMBOZO'S DADS 6181        0   2  0     2       OXYMORONS (698)
-POINTY TEETH 6165             0   2  0     2       SERPENTINE INC. (85)
 JUDITH 2 6183                 0   2  0     2       WOMEN OF REALITY (669)
 LING' LON 6187                0   1  0     1       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 KUJOE 6194                    0   1  0     1       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 CHUNG' FOW 6184               0   1  0     1       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MERIAM 3305            2  3 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     THE LIZARD 6120       472         
NICODEMUS 6145         1  1 0 BIBLE BELTERS 364     MARIE 6128            472 REVENGED
LITTLE PONY 6106       0  4 0 OLD MCDONALD 621      BLACK ORC 403         474 NONE    
MARIJUANA INITIA 6164  0  2 0 OXYMORONS 698         ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107    472         
KORN 6154              0  3 0 SAVAGE HEARTS 2 697   MOUNTAIN TROLL 401    474 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Gireffy -- Did you call me FAT!?  I'm not....  You really think I'm fat?  I'm not
that fat; I'll admit I'm big boned, but fat?!  I knew I should have picked a darker
color armor and stayed away from the vertical stripes. -- The Toad
P.S.  You really think I'm fat?
P.P.S.  I'm not fat!  You're FAT!  Pfffttt!

Detective Kelldumbo -- I think you might want to have your secretary check your
spelling before you submit your personal ads.  It's "Tazo" not "Taco".  I'm sure this
was an oversight on your secretary's part, so no offense taken.  Just thought I
should point it out for future reference. -- Master Tazo, mgr. The Poison Clan

Sentinel -- Aw shucks...cut out the sweet talk, big guy.  That's no way to get a
first date. -- Detective Kellumbo (well, I am single, now that I think about it)

Robert Byrd -- Congrats on the throne!  You are a worthy Duelmaster!  Excellent use
of the challenge strategy.  I'll try and make it best 2 out of 3 this turn if your
not avoiding.  Again, congrats. -- Maximus and Kellumbo

Terminator -- Let me guess, you'll be back?  Dang, you're not a snake either.... --
Snake Charmer

Flat Tax -- Hey now!  That hurt!  Leave an innocent little crippled girl to herself,
will ya, you bully! -- Blind Girl

Schwarzenegger -- Excellent fight.  Easily the best of the five last cycle for me.
Looking forward to round two. -- Skeemer and Kellumbo

Judge -- I must say, impressive wins you had with Justice and Rumsfeld last turn.
Congrats. -- Kellumbo

George Bush -- Of course I was avoiding you.  You've beat me down twice already.  You
know that old saying:  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me! --

P.S.  What was Lee thinking?  Didn't she see you whup on all those other TP's?

Silver Stroke -- There you go, one smack upside the head.  Hey, you asked for it....
-- DK

Woelfe -- Good job on the winning turn.  Keep it up! -- DK

Al Gore -- I would. :) -- DK

Just Chillin -- Impressive entrance.  What's up with these new teams coming in with
strong showings?  Not to mention not even a word or who manages the team.... --

Robert Byrd -- I hope you keep your end of the no avoids pact.  Let's see if you can
defend your throne. -- Justice

Bear Market -- Nice try.  Even with your style advantage, you could not beat me.
Challenge me anytime. -- Justice

Kellumbo -- Actually, I have not been keeping precise statistics on win-loss records
versus managers.  However, I am confident that at least half of your wins against my
warriors are based upon massive downchallenges.  Congratulations. -- Judge

Damian -- Interesting.  I still think that Hillary Clinton and her Whitewater friends
make better members of a "conspiracy." -- Judge, mgr. of The Republicans

Master Taco -- Thanks for the invite.  Too bad you didn't fight this turn for me to
take advantage of it.  Nancy Pelosi was looking forward to an easy win.  Maybe next
turn. -- Al Gore

Damion -- No worries about the downchallenge.  It reminds me of the old days. -- Al

To all the new teams -- Welcome and good luck. -- Al Gore

Judge -- Bring it. -- Al Gore

Thank -- Thanks and some to you. -- Al Gore

Maximus -- Now who has whose number. -- Al Gore

Justice -- Ouch.  Good fight though. -- Al Gore

Barb -- C'mon now, you're supposed to lose again.  Ah well, see you next time. -- N.

Zooie -- Thanks for the easy win and skills. -- C.M. Braun

Turkey Joe -- Thanks for showing up.  I can always count on you to give good learns.
-- G. Condit

Kellumbozo -- Considering what a fatherless child you are about how you challenge,
it's a little embarrassing that your winning percentage isn't higher than it is.  You
should head over and talk to the Delarquan big boys and they should be able to give
you some pointers on how to be a donkey's orifice.  Shoot for 70% you punk, quit
being such a sissy.  Considering our team record so far in Solven, we feel uniquely
qualified to comment on how much of a loser you are.  Fear us. -- The 0-6 Oxymorons

Ilsa She-Wolf -- Against my better judgement, I will continue to send a warrior of
quality and character to avenge our dead.  May you die with a snarl on your lips. --
The Sentinel

All -- Kellumbo's Nads was such an Oxymoron that the name was censored by the
Commission.  And the name Kellumbo's Dads is equally as funny and Oxymoronic, because
we all know that Kellumbo didn't have a dad, despite his mother's many partners.
Kudos to the Gladiatorial Commission for a fine sense of humor. -- Morons of Oxy

Ilsa -- Good win, you had me worried there for a moment.  I am shocked (nay, SHOCKED
with capital letters) that you appeared to be trying to get a two-for-one on your
kills.  Care for another try? -- D.O.A. Dominance

Gary Condit -- PLEASE graduate why don't you? -- Turkey Joe
P.S.  I would myself, but I can't get high enough for the political points yet.

Rumsfeld -- Oh, cheese, did you get enough skills out of that? -- Kangaroo Kate

Carol M. Braun -- That was rank favoritism!  Genderism!  I protest. -- Zooie

Cheney -- Hey, thanks!  I'm really going to enjoy a couple weeks as the only winner
on the team. -- Kalamazoo

Lee II -- (tremble, cower) -- Gireffy

Silver Stroke, Savage Hearts -- And here you are AGAIN!  Welcome. -- Leeta, The Zoo
(I go by Nick in the Delarquan arenas)

10 January 2004
ZalCon2 Updates (1/9/04)

     The contest will be starting on the turn due February 23rd, 2004 and run for 20
     Only one team will be allowed for each manager in the contest, regardless of
whether additional teams are announced as contest entries.  No exceptions for any
     The Style Master points should read that there is +1 point for beating a member
of your own style even if the warrior is not registered for the contest.
     Rolling points for consecutive turns as Style Master means that your warrior
gets the extra point every turn after the first 3 that he continues to hold the
     The points for Quality Wins should be clarified to read the winning warrior is
ranked below by the number of recognition points needed for each bonus point at the
start of the fight.  For example, Warrior A (3-2-0, 17) beats Warrior B (4-1-0, 35)
and receives 2 bonus points under Quality Win for the 18 point difference in the
     I believe that is all the clarifications for the moment, please feel free to
email, diplo, call or write me with any other questions or concerns about the
          Robert Occhipinti aka Zalgor Prigg

10 January 2004
                *     *     *  Third Annual Turf War  *     *      *

     Come one and all to DM 47 (North Fork) for the Third Annual Turf War!  Rules of
the contest will be posted in Turn #208's newsletter (due date Feb. 23).  The contest
will begin on Turn #209 (due date March 22).
     So, get a team there and register!  To register, you must send me a donation of
one (1) rollup CERTIFICATE.  Then, declare your alliance and team in the North Fork

personals.  You may also declare a warrior as champion, and that warrior will earn
(or lose!) double points in the contest!
     Roll-up certs will be *ALL* awarded as prizes, in addition to:

*** Highest Scoring Alliance -- Gets to Rename DM 47 for 6 months!
*** Most returns from DA (Alliance) -- Rename DA monsters for 6 months!
*** Most listings as "Style Masters" (Alliance) -- Pick arena to host the April "05
    Grand Tournament!
*** Warrior with the most awards -- Arenamaster named after him for 6 months!
*** Alliance with the most awards -- Pick the slow arena for TW 4!
*** Team with most "Style Master" listings -- Discover favorites of one warrior on
*** Warrior with most "Style Master" listings -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns!
    (I'll transfer $7.50 to the manager's account)
*** Alliance with the most kills -- Rename the stand-ins for 6 months!
*** Highest scoring Warrior -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns.  (I'll transfer
    $7.50 to their manager's account.)

     The contest will run for 10 turns, with the winners announced on turn #220.  See
the Turn #208 North Fork newsletter for complete rules and scoring system!  Direct
"declarations" to:  A.D. in the personals, and prize pot entry donations to:
                      Jason Mazuch HSP H-2
                      P.O. Box 339 #924385
                      Sparta, GA  31087-0339
     By snail mail or diplo through RSI.
               Bloody Sands!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB

16 January 2004
                                    CHAOTIC WINDS
     Once, long ago, the four Winds of Time descended upon Alastari like a TEMPEST of
epic proportions, they slew everything within their all-encompassing reach.  They
left nothing.  In their wake lay smoldering ruins.
     In their haste they sped towards the center of this great land like a colossal
giant would step across an ocean.  The four storms picked up momentum on their way
towards each other.  A collision was eminent.
     The first storm wind, the oldest and wisest of the four was named APEXALUS.  The
second, FLAGGSTAFF, was the quickest and loudest entity ever created.  The third Wind
of Time was MATRIATIN, neither old or young, quick or slow, but fierce and feisty all
the same.  The forth wind, ASSAMITHIUS, the youngest yet most creative in its means
of destruction.
     When finally they merged at the center of ALASTARI, an incredible destructive
explosion occurred.  And when the smoke and debris cleared they were one.  CHAOS was
     And Chaos spread across the diminished lands reeking havoc and doom with its
passing, and destroying allover again that which already lay in ruin.

F E A R    C H A O S    I N C.

28 January 2004
All -- I send out this invitation to all teams and managers.  A new Alliance has been
formed.  The Living Essences Alliance is being formed to join forces in an effort to
eliminate common foes and to help the joined warriors grow and learn to the best of
their abilities by offering suggestions and advice.  It doesn't matter what arena
you're in, or if you're in another alliance already, as of today.  This Alliance is
open to one and all!  If you are interested in joining, please DIPLO me, or send a
personal ad to DM 93's newsletter.  If you wish to join beyond March 2004, send a PA
to DM 82.  Come join the fun! -- Dagan LifeGiver, mgr. Shadow Warriors (DM 93)

28 January 2004

This notice is to formally introduce our young alliance, CHAOS INC.  We consist of
APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and now RUDE BUDDHA.  If we aren't already there, we
WILL be coming to an arena near you soon!  Hope to see you all at the ZALCON II.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LITTLE PONY was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
KORN was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a exciting 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
GIDEON was subdued by THE LIZARD in a 5 minute Bloodfeud fight.
D.O.A. DOMINANCE was narrowly defeated by ILSA SHE-WOLF in a 3 minute Bloodfeud fight.
GEORGE BUSH was devastated by GARY CONDIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MAXIMUS was viciously subdued by ROBERT BYRD in a 3 minute Challenge Title match.
SCHWARZENEGGER viciously subdued PLATINUM in a action packed 4 minute Challenge melee.
LEE was vanquished by TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
RUMSFELD vanquished KANGAROO KATE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BLOOD MOON overpowered BLIND GIRL in a 2 minute gory one-sided Challenge melee.
DARKSIDE demolished SKEEMER in a 2 minute bloody mismatched Challenge match.
ANTHONY SCALIA unbelievably bested FLAT TAX in a exciting 2 minute Challenge battle.
RUFUS beat KELLUMBOZO'S DADS in a popular 4 minute amateur's Challenge conflict.
THE CENTIPEDE was viciously subdued by HANNAH in a 8 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
ICE COLD beat ALIEN in a 2 minute bloody amateur's Challenge brawl.
OINK was defeated by CHENEY in a 1 minute novice's Challenge bout.
EASY BREEZE beat SLUG I in a 2 minute novice's Challenge bout.
SNAKE CHARMER overpowered JUDITH 2 in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
RUSH LIMBAUGH luckily beat SAVAGE DRAGON in a 4 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
CAROL M. BRAUN was beaten by WHAT UP in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge fray.
JUSTICE slimly lost to KHALHUMS DWARF in a 3 minute brutal veteran's contest.
BEAR MARKET defeated TWO PLUS TWO in a exciting 2 minute expert's fight.
MACRIBSI was narrowly defeated by CIVILIZED CRIMINAL in a 7 minute gory duel.
BARB was narrowly defeated by BRIGHT STAR in a action packed 2 minute brutal match.
NANCY PELOSI won victory over MARIE in a popular 1 minute fray.
KALAMAZOO overcame NO HURRY in a 2 minute bout.
DARRELL ISSA overcame GIREFFY in a 2 minute duel.
THE TOAD overpowered ZOOIE in a action packed 4 minute one-sided fight.
THE SNAKE was overcome by ANN COULTER in a 2 minute novice's fight.
TERMINATOR demolished CHUNG' FOW in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
THE SCORPION overpowered KUJOE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MAYBE LATER was handily defeated by LIA' KIAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
LING' LON lost to POLITE BEGGAR in a 3 minute amateur's fight.
PING' LEE subdued TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 2 minute amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         STRIKING ATTACK   55 -  28 -  2      66  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         PARRY-LUNGE       32 -  23 -  0      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  25 -  1      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         TOTAL PARRY       43 -  42 -  1      51  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  19 -  1      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  15 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         LUNGING ATTACK    42 -  60 -  4      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  26 -  0      40  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  21 -  0      36  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         8 -  16 -  1      33  |

Turn 474 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  6         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  4     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  7         2  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   ROBERT BYRD 6039           12   7  0  119 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
BASHING ATTACK   BLOOD MOON 3270             9   5  2   96 LOST SOULS 1 (300)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEORGE BUSH 1708           13   6  0   90 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
TOTAL PARRY      MAXIMUS 5966               18   9  3   89 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
WALL OF STEEL    JUSTICE 5949               19  11  0   88 THE REPUBLICANS (103)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JUSTICE 5949.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ROBERT BYRD 6039.  The ten other most popular fighters were SCHWARZENEGGER 6050, 
D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162, ZOOIE 6152, ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107, and WHAT UP 6172.

The least popular fighter this week was THE CENTIPEDE 6118.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MACRIBSI 6024, HANNAH 6144, MAYBE LATER 6176, KUJOE 6194, 
CHUNG' FOW 6184, THE TOAD 6121, CAROL M. BRAUN 6146, RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167, SLUG I 3304, 
and OINK 6142.