Date   : 04/07/2004    Duedate: 04/20/2004


DM-22    TURN-479

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-5965) [19-13-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SKEEMER                        THE TOAD
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          THE POISON CLAN (692)
(22-5965) [19-13-0,111]        (22-6121) [9-0-0,53]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

RUMSFELD                       GIDEON
(22-6032) [12-13-0,96]         (22-3308) [6-6-0,47]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE DEMOCRATS (202)         40
2. SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)       31      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. THE POISON CLAN (692)       24      Unchartered Team
4. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       23
5. JUST CHILLIN (699)          19      THE POISON CLAN (692)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*HOT WHEELS (686)           1   0  0  100   1/ 2*THE POISON CLAN (692)    11  4 0
 2/ 2*THE POISON CLAN (692)     32  13  1 71.1   2/ 1 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      10  5 0
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    105  57  4 64.8   3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    10  5 0
 4/ 4*JUST CHILLIN (699)        21  14  1 60.0   4/ 9*JUST CHILLIN (699)        9  6 0
 5/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    140 102  9 57.9   5/ 4*CHINESE CONNECTION (700)  7  7 0
 6/ 7 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    332 304 23 52.2   6/ 5 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     7  8 1
 7/ 8 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      127 120  8 51.4   7/ 8 THE ZOO (205)             6  9 0
 8/ 9 BIBLE BELTERS (364)       24  25  1 49.0   8/ 7 BIBLE BELTERS (364)       5  9 1
 9/10*CHINESE CONNECTION (700)  12  16  0 42.9   9/ 6 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     5 10 0
10/11 THE ZOO (205)            338 454  4 42.7  10/10*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     5 10 0
11/12*SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     10  30  1 25.0  11-12*HOT WHEELS (686)          1  0 0
12-13*OXYMORONS (698)            0  10  0  0.0  12-13*OXYMORONS (698)           0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #4 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Near Fratsfa:

     Gladiators sailed up the river from Kati-Tei through Andor, Fratsfa, and Zensu
to the Isle of the Eye.  Some came as tourists, some as newly-graduated warriors,
some to attend and participate in the Spring Tourney.  This was a steady source of
income for boatmen, and many of them made the trip two or three times a month; the
river and its shores were well known to them.
     "I don't remember a castle on that hill," one sailor muttered, squinting at the
shore.  "And I was along here just last week...."
     "There was no castle there," Lady Fern, manager of the Flower Girls in Fratsfa
confirmed.  "And a week is certainly not long enough to build one!"
     "There was one...eight hundred years ago," a voice murmured behind her.
     The statuesque manager glanced back at her gladiatress, Nasty Nasturtium.  The
woman was an Araoi, and elf of the purest blood, and Lady Fern supposed it was
possible that Nasturtium actually REMEMBERED a castle there, but she hoped not.  The
thought of having a warrior that old was unsettling.  "You're sure, Nasty?"
     The elfin blonde nodded firmly.  "Yes, my mother told me about it--one of her
brothers helped to bring the castle down.  The Castle of Storms, that was its name, a
place of the darkest arts.  It was the stronghold of Prince Illrienherthinil
Silverthorn, who was called the Ill Rain."
     Lady Fern glanced at the sky automatically.  It WAS getting cloudy, but that
was, must be, coincidence.  After all, changeable weather was common at this time of
     "That wasn't on Khaldren's list."  The short, stocky man removed his bowler and
extended a hand to Lady Fern.  "Raoul, Lord Protector In Gerfel We Trust."
     "Kennelworth has spoken of you," Lady Fern admitted.  "But what do you know of
this Castle of Storms?"
     "Not a thing, doll.  But I'm wondering if Khaldren's magic isn't raising more
ruins than he planned on--anyplace with enough of the wrong kind of magic
concentrated in it."
     "This Khaldren is...?" Nasturtium asked.
     "A wizard who escaped the sinking of Krael," Raoul explained.  "He wants to
bring Krael forward in time, or back from the dead, or something.  And other places
he knows about from that era."
     "That would take a great magic," Nasturtium protested.  "With the Arcanum in the
current low state, it should not be possible."
     "Adie in Aruak City says he could be using blood magic based on the arena
deaths, doll.  She seems to think that'd do it for him."
     The elf recoiled.  "It would!" she whispered, "and that would call to all sites
where dark magic has sunk deep.  This must be stopped!"
     "Well, I'm taking the warning to Lady Sheila--"
     "She can do nothing, even if she would," Nasturtium snapped.  "She dares not
touch blood magic, even to fight it, except in the most indirect fashion, and
indirection will not serve!  Not soon enough, anyway."
     "Adie will think of some way to fight Khaldren," Raoul said, a little uneasily.
He took a deep breath and put his hat back on.  "And until he's stopped, we will
fight everything he brings up from the past."
     "If we have to fight the Ill Rain," Nasty Nasturtium predicted, "it won't be


     Lord Protector Ka D'Argo, on a brief trip to his home on Kolact, had planned to
take ship at Valamantis.  But the port city was not as he had expected.  There was
always bustle, but now...it reminded him of a disturbed anthill.  And where had those
towers on the landward side come from?  They weren't something that could have been
built in a day, or even a year, and he'd been through here four months ago.
     "It's Old Valamantis," Arenamistress Sitalva said grimly.  "We've had word of
some kind of magic afoot aimed at ruined cities, and with all the blood spilled in
the recent Bloodgames, it would have been more surprising if something had NOT
happened there.  But understanding why doesn't help us now.  The oldest levels of Old
Valamantis," she said grimly, "were Folstrom.  NOBODY wants to see the Folstrom loose
in the world again."
     "Bringing the ruins back is one thing," the tall gladiator argued, "but the
people...?  Surely Ahringol won't release their souls because of a spell and some
     Sitalva watched the slight wavering of the resurrected towers and shivered,
though the day was already warm.  "We'll find out, when the city stabilizes.  The
Silver Mage says sometime in the next week and a half or two weeks.  But we can see
people moving around in there.  And even if they're zombies, it isn't going to be


     The fishing boats that had fled Iaye when the earthquakes began crept back one
by one as the Trier grew calm again.  Most of them followed the coast down toward
Point, not because they needed the guidance but to see for themselves if drowned
Krael had truly risen from the waves.
     It had.
     Lord Protector Goff, assistant manager of the Red Dog Gang, stood on the gently
rocking deck of his boat and stared through a spyglass at the rampart of buildings
that blocked what had been the strait between Iaye and Point.  He wasn't sure what he
had expected, but not this.
     Krael stood above the water, but not as it must once have looked.  Many of the
taller buildings showed broken tops, and all was slimed with mud and weed.  Here and
there, decaying wrecks lay in the streets or even on the roofs of houses.  The smell
of dead fish was obvious even from a mile away.  Krael LOOKED like a city that had
spent centuries under water.  The people who moved among those ruins didn't.  There
weren't enough of them to represent the entire population of the city at the time of
its disaster, he guessed at no more than two hundred.  But they looked...normal.
Alive.  And their activity--they seemed to be trying to clear one section of the city
of its mud and debris--were just what you'd expect.
     And they seemed to take the whole situation for granted.  They must KNOW, from
the state of Krael now, what had happened, but they just calmly went about cleaning
     That was the most unnerving thing of all.


     There were no ruins around Xochithlan to rise up at the wizard's call, because
the modern city was the old city, continuously lived in for longer than most
Alastarian cities had existed.  There was, perhaps, a tendency for certain long-
buried residents to stir in their graves, but if any came out to walk the streets, it
was not immediately obvious.
     What was obvious was the forest.
     There had been a forest around Xochithlan for a long time, but it had been
burned away during the Rirorni War.  Replanting efforts had been ongoing for the last
eight years, but eight years is not long enough to bring back a major forest.  And
what surrounded the city now, pressing in against the walls and disturbing the newer
suburbs, was a major forest.
     Not, however, a forest such as the Xochithlani remembered.
     This was a Forest Primeval.
     This was a forest that might hide...anything.
     And according to the scholars of ancient texts consulted by King Feyen of
Xochithlan, it probably did.


     Zuwayza was as old as Xochithlan, and there were as many dark secrets buried
under its streets.  The foundation of the city, Vekhirn knew, went back to the days
before the first humans.  There were Folstrom traces, but there was also something
older.  Maybe more than one something.  And they were all stirring.  Too much blood
had been spilled here, especially in the years since the invasion--during the
invasion itself, and in the slow beating back of the Eastern forces.
     And in other ways, or for other causes, as well.  The court wizard had sensed a
new feeling in the people of the old city.  Harder.  Crueler, perhaps.  Less patient,
less tolerant--and the Glorious Empire had never been noted for tolerance.  The woman
Jayde, who claimed to be the daughter of Kjarran, her death and her mysterious
apotheosis, had that been the start of this dark bitterness that gripped the people?
He shrugged that off.  Whatever the cause for the change of heart, blood had been
spilled.  And somewhere, someone had called on spilled blood to raise old evils, and
spilled blood everywhere had answered.

Aruak City:

     Adeolar stared into the gilt-framed mirror, frowning and twisting a lock of hair
between nervous fingers.  Nothing she was Seeing was good.  Not that the mirror was
the best way to See, but it was the only scrying device she had that was still
working.  There was a bloody film over the glass that could not be washed off, and
that, she suspected, was a sign of just how bad things were.  Blood magic, used to
excess, tainted everything.  There was no doubt that the wizard in Zorpunt was strong
and ruthless, but what he had started seemed to be taking on a life of its own.  And
no one, so far, seemed able to stop him.
     She would have to take steps herself.

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #5 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Dal Shang:

     From the top tier of the arena, you could see a long way out to sea, because the
arena was built on a cliff above the harbor.  So was a lot of the rest of Dal Shang,
but except for the governor's palace, it mostly wasn't as high as the arena.
     Lord Protector Wais, who had come home to Dal Shang in a vague effort to boost
that beleaguered arena, was sitting on the top tier brooding.  The arena was
shrinking faster than a pool of water in the desert.  Promising warriors who were
looking for a career in the arena were not looking in THIS arena.  Fourteen active
warriors last time, and two of them had been retiring by way of a Dark Arena
appearance.  His own team, even, had gone inactive!  Something had to be done, but he
had no idea what.  Even the fans had deserted Dal Shang arena.
     With a sigh, he turned away from the empty arena to look out to sea.  And so he
saw the waters of the lake heave as though they were boiling, and a new--or very
old--island rise like a black reef no more than five miles off shore.  Five miles is
too far away to see the details, but there was something disturbingly regular about
the broken ridgeline of that island.  Like buildings....

A note for the people of the Free Cities and Lirith Kai:

     Some people say that if you get rid of magic, the world will be much simpler.
Some people say that the destabilization of the Arcanum will get rid of magic.  Ha!
High Magic, the stuff that highly educated wizards do, falters as the Arcanum
weakens.  But there are other kinds of magic.  Older.  Cruder.  Less vulnerable.
There's Blood Magic.  Spilling blood releases power.  The more blood, the more power.
     And a very powerful wizard of several centuries ago, Khaldren of Krael, who
decided that he didn't want to die when the city around him was dying, has come to
the present.  He's made a spell to bring Krael back from ruins, and he's tied it to
Blood Magic.
     But there's more blood being spilled around Alastari than he realized, and a lot
of Lost Cities that want to live again.  If you have some old ruins near your house,
and there's an arena where people are bleeding and dying, you've got trouble coming.
This is now your story, too.

     It's all a plot, and probably a dark one.  Where is Daylight Savings time when
you need it?

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 242): CLOSED MIND of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 485): STEEL MONKEY of VELVET GREEN (Manray, Marquis
                               d'Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 485): HYDE of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 478): KANGAROO KATE of THE ZOO (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 474): CANE TOAD of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 474): ABSOLUCIOUN of CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 475): WOOLLY LOCO of POISONOUS PUGILISTS (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 470): GAZELLE HOUND of DOG DAY AFTERNOON (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 436): CMOT DIBBLER of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 429): MARS of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 422): PURPLE SASH of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 189): SALVATION of PIECES OF EIGHT (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 334): GUMMI GHOUL of THE UPSTARTS III (Anti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 323): ELENA of SITTIN' ON ACES (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 144): LOKI of ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
                            (JRK, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 242): LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 485): MORAL FIBER (Nunzio Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 485): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 478): THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 474): AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 474): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 475): WARCKERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 470): RED DOG GANG (Goff, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 436): WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 429): none
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 422): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 189): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 334): FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 323): SAFE HAVEN (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 144): CASTLE BLACK (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 370): TOTEM, etc. (The Sentinel, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 242): CLOSED MIND of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
               (turn 241): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 485): CONNOR MACLEOD of SCARLET KNIGHTS II (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 477): BEAR MARKET of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
                           ROBERT BYRD of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 474): CANE TOAD of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
                (turn 473): TRISHA WINGFOOT of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 473): NOLAN ORGEL of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 428): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 422): OLLIE FUNT of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 188): RED EYE of ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 334): LIGHTNING IX of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
              (turn 333): BLACKBURST of FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
                          THUNDRA of FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
                          SIR ZESTALOT of 4000 BLOWS (Nuln, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 144): LOKI of ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
                 (turn 143): PIYA of THAI INQUISITION (?, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     It was a classic match of its kind, Maximus, and I salute you for a worthy
effort.  Especially for a worthy effort that I was able to overcome--those are the
FINEST kind.  Good luck on working your way back up here.

                                    Kangaroo Kate

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
SOLVEN brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, THE DEMOCRATS, since THE 
POISON CLAN took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  JUST CHILLIN 
turned their 3-2-0 turn into a 4th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better 
than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Now let's all watch THE POISON CLAN's heads 
swell from their 4-1-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big shots, big talk, big deal.  
Tsk, tsk, CHUNG' FOW beat EASY BREEZE and EASY BREEZE lost 8 points.  You're breakin' 
my heart.  SKEEMER challenged SOLVEN's Duelmaster for a shot at the throne.  And it's 
out with the old, in with the new, as SKEEMER takes the Title and last week's bar tab 
from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how 
else do you think some of these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  SOLVEN, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  
THE POISON CLAN the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And 
it looks like SAVAGE HEARTS 2 avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would 
be losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  CHUNG' FOW was challenged more times this turn than 
the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  Now here's guts and 
stupidity all rolled into one, HANNAH challenged up 26 to take on NANCY PELOSI of THE 
DEMOCRATS.  Not that I'm surprised or anything, but HANNAH was overcame by NANCY 
PELOSI, leaving the latter lower for recognition points.  I notice NO HURRY 
challenging down 16 points to fight ALIEN, JUST CHILLIN doubtless has some rotten 
excuse for such an insult to honor.  Question now is, will SOLVEN accept this sort of 
tacky behavior?  NO HURRY beating ALIEN.  The insult, the....yech!  I guess I can 
give a little credit to RUMSFELD of THE REPUBLICANS for challenging up by 20 to 
TURKEY JOE.  RUMSFELD won to get 96 points of recognition.  And we have WHAT UP in a 
challenge, going down 8 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought WHAT UP showed 
great skill and promise when he defeated ZOOIE.  All right, so I slept through it!  
Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines 
through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     What does the SOLVEN arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see 
the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKEEMER 5965                 19  13  0   111       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLIND GIRL 6041              18   5  0   102       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 TURKEY JOE 5825              20  37  0    97       THE ZOO (205)
 GEORGE BUSH 1708             16   8  0    96       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 RUMSFELD 6032                12  13  0    96       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 MAXIMUS 5966                 21  11  3    92       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KANGAROO KATE 5900           18  32  1    91       THE ZOO (205)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6050          12  10  1    86       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107           10   3  1    70       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAT TAX 5998                13  18  0    61       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 NANCY PELOSI 6076            11   6  1    59       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARRELL ISSA 6108             9   4  2    56       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 THE TOAD 6121                 9   0  0    53       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 CHUNG' FOW 6184               4   2  0    50       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103          11   3  0    48       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 GIDEON 3308                   6   6  0    47       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 CHENEY 6153                   6   3  0    46       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 RUFUS 6180                    6   1  0    42       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 GIREFFY 6102                  4  10  0    42       THE ZOO (205)
 THE SCORPION 6117             7   2  0    35       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 MAYBE LATER 6176              4   3  0    35       JUST CHILLIN (699)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE LIZARD 6120               5   4  1    33       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 SNAKE CHARMER 6169            7   2  0    31       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 WHAT UP 6172                  6   1  0    31       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 EASY BREEZE 6173              4   3  1    27       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 THE LOTUS 6208                4   0  0    27       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 HANNAH 6144                   5   4  0    26       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 TERMINATOR 6158               3   5  0    26       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 NO HURRY 6174                 4   3  0    25       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 IRON MONKEY 6186              2   3  0    25       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANN COULTER 6168              6   3  0    21       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 CHARLES RANGEL 6229           1   0  0    20       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 KALAMAZOO 6116                4   7  0    19       THE ZOO (205)
 PING' LEE 6188                3   2  0    19       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 JEHORAM 6209                  1   3  1    18       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 ZOOIE 6152                    3   7  0    16       THE ZOO (205)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           3   7  0    16       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 ROE V WADE 6226               2   0  0    16       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 LIA' KIAN 6185                2   4  0    15       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 ICE COLD 6175                 3   4  0    13       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 SAVAGE DRAGON 6155            2   6  1    13       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 SAMURIA SAM 6200              2   3  0    13       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
-D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162         0   5  0    11       OXYMORONS (698)
-365 GTB4 6054                 1   0  0    10       HOT WHEELS (686)
-JOSIAH 6201                   2   2  0     9       BIBLE BELTERS (364)
 LING' LON 6187                1   5  0     8       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 ATILLA 6228                   1   0  0     7       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 THE PHOENIX 6227              1   1  0     5       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-KELLUMBOZO'S DADS 6181        0   3  0     3       OXYMORONS (698)
 ALIEN 6218                    0   3  0     3       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 2ND AMENDMENT 6211            0   3  0     3       THE REPUBLICANS (103)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
VISITING ORC 391       0  1 0   1                   DARRELL ISSA 6108     479 NONE    
HANS BLIX 6225         0  2 0 CONSPIRACY INC. 100   WURM KIN 410          479 NONE    
RUSH LIMBAUGH 6167     2  3 0 CONSPIRACY INC. 100   EASY BREEZE 6173      475 REVENGED
WESLEY CLARK 6210      0  2 0 CONSPIRACY INC. 100   JEHORAM 6209          477 REVENGED

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
WEAPON INSPECTOR 6230  0  1 0 THE DEMOCRATS 202     SPYMASTER 405         479 NONE    
THE SNAKE 6119         3  2 0 THE POISON CLAN 692   SAVAGE DRAGON 6155    475 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kangaroo Kate -- My, my, you seem to have my number.  Let's see how my pal Skeemer
does against you. -- Maximus

Al Gore -- Fun rematch with Robert and Blind Girl.  Hopefully you will have some fun
with him in ADM.  Either way, congrats on the two graduates.  Well done. -- Detective

Schwarzenegger -- Is that your plan to get us to stop fighting?  Don't teach me a
thing!  You dog. -- Skeemer

Flat Tax -- Yup, flat on your back buddy. -- Ilsa She-Wooooolllllllllllllfffffffffff!

Cheney -- Dang boy!  You looked like a big mean cobra heading my way.  Very
impressive! -- Snake Charmer

Judge -- Awwww, 1-4 last turn.  Did I help out with that?  *snicker, snicker* -- DK

Silver Stroke -- From the looks of you record, maybe your gladiators *are* using
those pointy things to butter muffins. -- Detective Kellumbo

Silver Stroke -- So get ruffled and do something about it.  By the way, it's only
9.25 each week for me as top team gets a free fight.  I guess you don't need to worry
about that any time soon, huh? -- DK
P.S.  "I give what I get."  ???  Didn't I overhear you and Judge discussing that over
in the dark alley?

Schwarzenneger -- If you call getting beat in two minutes each time scumming, you are
not as smart as I thought. -- Skeemer

Master Taco -- Another 5-0 turn!?  Who do you bribe in the commission for that? (and
can I have their number?) -- Detective Kellumbo

Lost Souls -- Awwww, what a shame to get Darkside pulled up to ADM.  Hope you had
high expectations out of him in the challengers. -- DK

Kangaroo Kate -- Congrats on the top spot.  Better you than one of Judges' boys, any
day. -- DK

Maximus -- They are not "Excuses", they are "Reasons". -- Master Tazo

Silver Stroke -- You know, you're right.  What was I thinking, getting all worked up
over the Dragon killing my fighter.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Ok, after
this turn I won't bloodfeud the Dragon any more.  Thanks for pointing that out. --
Master Tazo

Ping' Lee -- Thanks for the dumplings. -- The Lizard

Mr. Taco -- Well, you had three tries to kill Savage Dragon.  Let's see if you can
get it right on the fourth try.  Good use of challenges, I must say, but let's see what happens when the bloodfeud is lifted and I can get some of my challenges off
again. -- Silver Stroke

DK -- I wonder what mindless drivel you will be spouting this turn? -- Silver Stroke
(drinking a glass of wine reading a novel, "How To Deal With Overweight Incompetent

Toad -- I see after the last fight you didn't want play no more, eh. -- Savage Dragon

Scorpion -- Come get some.  I'm not done yet. -- Savage Dragon

Lizard -- Not much I can do with you.  Expect to get Guido and the boys after you. --

Phoenix -- There was a bright light...that was unsportsmanlike. -- Samuria Sam

All -- I will beat someone eventually. -- Alien

Mr. Taco -- You seem to be good at running those modified hybrid scums.  Now you
forced me to run a scum killer. -- Silver Stroke

Master Wong Fei Hung' -- You are welcome, friend.  I'll be writing another spotlight
in a few turns.  Too busy this turn with the tourney and all.  You seem to be a fine
addition to the arena but with people like DK and Mr. Taco floating around, that
probably isn't saying too much.  I hope to see you on the sands. -- Silver Stroke

Woelfe -- Here boy...here boy...I got a treat  for you.  (kicks him hard in the tail as the Woelfe runs off yelping)  How do you like them apples? -- Silver Stroke

2nd Amendment -- I think you should be against the right to bear arms.  Then how
could you lose as long as you stayed away from ABs? -- Lia' Kain

The Lotus -- I see you have studied the ancient ways.  Indeed your technique in
smoking the black lotus in my face clouded my thoughts; next time I will have to wear
a wet cloth over my face. -- Ling'lon

No Hurry -- For I guy that isn't in a hurry, you seemed to leave out of the arena in
a hurry.  But then again, a six foot tooth pick seems to have that effect on people.
(wicked grin) -- Chung' Fow

Easy Breeze -- Close one.  It was a honorable fight; till next we meet.  (bows) --
Ping' Lee

Zooie -- Aye, you had to be shown humility.  Respect our culture. -- Master Wong Fei

Zooie -- 'Twas a good fight.  (gives him some healing herbs)  Take this Chinese
medicine; is the best. -- Iron Monkey
P.S.  My kung fu was too much for you.

All -- Anyone seen Master Wong?  (rubbing his sore head from last time)  Hey!  Who
stole my tooth pick!! -- Chung' Fow

Chung' Fei -- Hehehe....  Now let's see if master lets you fight.  I told you I get
you back, you fat puloca.  (running wildly through the streets cackling like a mad
hyena) -- Ping' Lee

Ping' Lee -- Damn you, Lee....  Come back here with my tooth pick!  (chasing Ping
through the streets) -- Chung' Fow

GW -- *cough-cough*  Is that all you got old man....  <pukes>  By the way, could you
lay off the pelvis blows?  Thanks. -- Jehoram

Silver Stroke -- You use your sword to butter your muffins?  <boggle>  I suppose one
might find it useful for greasing the blade to cut through.  And with your vampiric
tastes you might liken it as a condiment to your next meal. -- Woelfe

Savage Dragon -- Send both Rufus and Josiah?  You wanna fight them both at once, do
you?  I'm not sure the commission would allow it, but even I must admit it is pretty
bold for one as un-endowed as you.  Rufus has had a nagging pain behind his eye since
the last time he faced off with you.  Perhaps Josiah will be willing to play with
you.  Currently he's primping in the mirror muttering something about looking his
best before the tourney.  I don't know about that boy. -- Woelfe

Master Wong -- You despicable dress wearing scummy bootlickers!!!  There, you feeling
a little more loved now?  If not, we could always arrange a demonstration of sword
play, at your warriors' expense, of course.  <grin> -- Woelfe

All -- Ok, whoever passed that 1-4 turn on to me can have it back!! -- Woelfe

Silver Stroke -- If running with my tail between my legs equates to my warriors
rising in the ranks, then we plan to run day and night!  I wouldn't be too quick to
judge the new Woelfe while you're chasing the Morons for last place. <wink> -- Woelfe

The Toad -- Oh, you scummy little Toad, you!!  Next time why don't we get a couple of
rounds of chess in while we're standing about, eh? -- Hannah

Carol -- I hope you enjoyed your brief privilege of experiencing Rufus the Great!
Have you ever considered perhaps a new last name? -- Rufus

Kellumbo -- I am greatly relieved, nay, impressed, that you were able to count my
win-loss record for last turn.  Considering your kindergarten education, I marvel at
your ability to count all the way to five.  Let me be the first to congratulate you.
Keep up the good work.  Perhaps this week you can work on the number '6'.  Yes, let's
all hear it--Solven, brought to you by Kellumbo and the number '6'.  It certainly has
the right ring to it. -- Damion, brought to you by the number '666'

I think I now know where the weapons of mass destruction have been hiding! -- Hans

Bear Market -- Well, I didn't want to lose, but at least I didn't DIE of it.  Good
work, and congratulations on graduating.  Have fun on the Isle and all. -- Turkey Joe
P.S.  And watch OUT for people recruiting for adventures.  Adventures are DANGEROUS.

Anthony Scalia -- Cheese, I thought you were an opera or something!  It was all
Kate's fault, giving me false information.  If I'd been PROPERLY prepared, I could've
made you work a whole nother ten seconds for that win. -- Gireffy

Ice Cold -- You know the saying, "Cold hands, warm heart"?  Does this mean you have a
really warm heart? -- Kalamzoo

Iron Monkey -- And you found that a SURPRISE?  Everyone knows I don't belong here. --
P.S.  Except Leeta, and she may just know and not care, dammit.

Blind Girl -- You aren't the only one who wishes I would graduate!  Or even die.
Sometimes that is not so bad, especially if you can get the Infirmary crew to fake
the death certificate.  I keep hoping. -- Turkey Joe

Maximus -- I don't see why you need ANYBODY to make excuses for you.  You have a
winning record, after all! -- Kangaroo Kate

Master Tazo -- Criterion for Duelmaster:
     Beat the incumbent,
     Or, if that is not an option (such as, someone loses to the incumbent, who
leaves immediately), be the active warrior with the highest recognition.  In the case
of ties, there is no Duelmaster.
     Criterion for Top Team:
     Have the most wins, in the case of ties for wins, have the fewest losses, if
still tied, have the most kills.  If STILL tied, there is no Top Team.

Master Wong Fei Hung -- Why not?  Everybody else does.  Zoos are LIKE that.  And then
we sell it for fertilizer and make a bundle. -- Zooie

Rumsfield -- Like I'm going to "talk turkey" to you?  AS if! -- Turkey Joe

R. Byrd -- Well it wasn't any of US that killed the Canary!  It was Beloski. --
Kangaroo Kate, kissing cousins to Sword Opera
P.S.  What were we talking about?

Rufus -- What spotlight?  I don't, you know, do spotlights.  Just spy reports. --
Debby Tonte
P.S.  Besides, it was the golem.

Kellumbo -- Nice 11 point downchallenge of Cheney with Snake Charmer.  Snake Charmer
got the beating he deserved.  Too bad he did not die. -- Judge

Detective -- I had nobody else to challenge.  That's the reason.  I wasn't trying to
open old wounds.  At least the Blind Girl and Robert Byrd rematch happened as we
talked.  Maybe in ADM I'll be able to take her.  Longsword was my fav.  I got very
lucky. -- R. Byrd

Detective -- I treat Judge with the respect he's earned.  Taco, none of my three
turns worth of challenges have gone through.  Taco!  Stop avoiding! -- Al Gore

Judge -- Thanks!  That makes:  1 Striker, 1 Basher, 1 Lunger, 1 Slasher that I
graduated from the team here in Solven. -- Al Gore

Turkey Joe -- We had some fun times together.  Remember that time Condit beat you?
That other time?  Remember the great learns you gave?  I'm sure gonna miss you. (sob)
-- Bear Market

Ann Coulter -- Take that, you trollop! -- N. Pelosi

Hans Blix -- You're just another weak knee'd euro trash. -- R. V. Wade

Rufus -- Not nice to hit a lady. -- C.M. Braun

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM
36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HANS BLIX was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
WEAPON INSPECTOR was viciously butchered by SPYMASTER in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
THE SCORPION overpowered SAVAGE DRAGON in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
SKEEMER devastated KANGAROO KATE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title fight.
RUMSFELD devastated TURKEY JOE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
SCHWARZENEGGER was defeated by GEORGE BUSH in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge struggle.
ILSA SHE-WOLF handily defeated FLAT TAX in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
CHUNG' FOW vanquished EASY BREEZE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
THE TOAD unbelievably bested CHENEY in a action packed 9 minute Challenge fight.
HANNAH was overpowered by NANCY PELOSI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ANN COULTER was handily defeated by GIREFFY in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
MAYBE LATER demolished KALAMAZOO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
IRON MONKEY was bested by RUFUS in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
TERMINATOR demolished CAROL M. BRAUN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
LING' LON was overcome by SAMURIA SAM in a popular 1 minute Challenge conflict.
LIA' KIAN lost to THE LIZARD in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
WHAT UP devastated ZOOIE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
NO HURRY overpowered ALIEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
THE LOTUS defeated JEHORAM in a 2 minute novice's Challenge bout.
ROE V WADE savagely defeated THE PHOENIX in a 3 minute gory novice's Challenge bout.
BLIND GIRL outwaited VETERAN MERCENARY in a crowd pleasing 7 minute competition.
MAXIMUS overpowered NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute uneven fight.
ANTHONY SCALIA subdued THE HONEST MERCHANT in a action packed 1 minute bout.
DARRELL ISSA viciously butchered VISITING ORC in a 3 minute master vs. novice fray.
SNAKE CHARMER was savagely defeated by GIDEON in a action packed 3 minute fight.
ICE COLD was defeated by PING' LEE in a 4 minute duel.
2ND AMENDMENT was narrowly defeated by ATILLA in a 4 minute gruesome novice's bout.
CHARLES RANGEL overpowered TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         STRIKING ATTACK   53 -  33 -  2      62  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         WALL OF STEEL     32 -  22 -  1      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         TOTAL PARRY       48 -  36 -  0      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         PARRY-LUNGE       22 -  21 -  0      51  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -  18 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -  17 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  26 -  1      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         LUNGING ATTACK    39 -  53 -  2      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  31 -  1      34  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         2 -  12 -  0      14  |

Turn 479 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      5 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  6         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    SKEEMER 5965               19  13  0  111 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
TOTAL PARRY      BLIND GIRL 6041            18   5  0  102 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEORGE BUSH 1708           16   8  0   96 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
STRIKING ATTACK  ILSA SHE-WOLF 6107         10   3  1   70 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
LUNGING ATTACK   NANCY PELOSI 6076          11   6  1   59 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAYBE LATER 6176            4   3  0   35 JUST CHILLIN (699)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is RUMSFELD 6032.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GIDEON 3308.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHENEY 6153, GEORGE BUSH 
6186, DARRELL ISSA 6108, SCHWARZENEGGER 6050, and CHUNG' FOW 6184.

The least popular fighter this week was THE TOAD 6121.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PING' LEE 6188, BLIND GIRL 6041, THE PHOENIX 6227, ZOOIE 6152, CAROL M. 
JOE 5825.


     For those of you who keep track of such things, 14 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament:

                           ABE SIMPSON (9-4453) SPRINGFIELD 
                            PB-LEAD (23-4385) ROCK-ETTS IV 
                      RATTLESNAKE SHAKE (60-4242) METAL MELTDOWN 
                            CHIP (60-4413) RESCUE RANGERS 
                           SLAKE (82-12993) WORD OF THE DAY 
                          DIS-COMBOBULATE (63-2222) DIS-TEAM 
                        RETARD (68-7501) POLITICALLYINCORRECT 
                           DARKSIDE (22-2714) LOST SOULS 1 
                      ZHARRA TYL MEDAN (40-2586) SUPERIOR FORCES 
                         SMOOGIE (82-2247) STREET PIZZAD III 
                             ARATHEA (13-3318) THE ELITE 
                          PX (82-14364) SUPERIOR FORCES 1203 
                       MIKE, POWERFUL (82-7051) MIKE THE HUNTER 
                          DIS-FUNCTIONAL (63-2223) DIS-TEAM 

                                          -- Green Eyes