DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/25/2004    Duedate: 09/07/2004

SOLVEN ARENA

DM-22    TURN-489

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

NO HURRY
JUST CHILLIN (699)
(22-6174) [12-5-0,94]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

NO HURRY                       GIL STAYNE
JUST CHILLIN (699)             K FORCE (706)
(22-6174) [12-5-0,94]          (22-6234) [4-5-0,37]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FLAT TAX                       GIL STAYNE
THE REPUBLICANS (103)          K FORCE (706)
(22-5998) [19-22-0,87]         (22-6234) [4-5-0,37]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       44
2. TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)         24      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. DROP THE LEASH (701)        23      Unchartered Team
4. THE POISON CLAN (692)       19
5. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       14      K FORCE (706)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*MEGA CHAOS (713)           5   0  0  100   1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    12  3 0
 2/ 2 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    144  67  4 68.2   2/ 4 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    10  5 1
 3- 3*THE 7TH DAY (702)          5   3  0 62.5   3/ 3 THE POISON CLAN (692)     9  6 0
 4/ 5 THE POISON CLAN (692)     56  39  1 58.9   4/ 2 JUST CHILLIN (699)        7  7 0
 5/ 4 JUST CHILLIN (699)        48  36  4 57.1   5/ 9 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     6  9 0
 6/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    154 121 11 56.0   6- 7*MEGA CHAOS (713)          5  0 0
 7/ 0 PROTECTORS (695)          28  23  2 54.9   7/ 6 THE ZOO (205)             5 10 1
 8/ 0 FROM DOWN UNDER (154)    223 205  5 52.1   8-10 SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     3  2 0
 9/ 7 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    351 335 23 51.2   9- 8 CHINESE CONNECTION (700)  3  2 0
10/ 8 THE DEMOCRATS (202)      146 146 10 50.0  10/14*DROP THE LEASH (701)      3  2 0
11-10*WHITE WOLF (707)          13  15  1 46.4  11/15 THE DEMOCRATS (202)       3  7 0
12/ 9*K FORCE (706)             19  25  3 43.2  12/ 0*TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)       2  3 0
13/11 THE ZOO (205)            356 486  6 42.3  13/ 0*RECORD PADDERS (715)      2  3 0
14/14*DROP THE LEASH (701)       4   6  0 40.0  14-12*WHITE WOLF (707)          2  7 0
15/ 0*TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)        2   3  0 40.0  15/ 5*K FORCE (706)             2 12 0
16/ 0*RECORD PADDERS (715)       2   3  0 40.0  16/ 0 FROM DOWN UNDER (154)     1  0 0
17-12 CHINESE CONNECTION (700)  26  42  1 38.2  17/ 0 PROTECTORS (695)          1  1 0
18-13 SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)     30  50  2 37.5  18-11*THE 7TH DAY (702)         1  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 247): GOLDENEYE of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 495): T-BONE WALKER of THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 495): ZERO THE HERO of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 488): NO HURRY of JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 484): WARTORTLE of WATER DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 484): FELAWESHIPE of CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 485): SPLINTER of HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 479): THE ROCK of WRESTLMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 446): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 439): PORTERHOUSE ARREST of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 433): FLOYD B. RICK of FLOYDS FAN CLUB (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 194): MUTILATE of ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 LOOPHOLES (turn 344): AVIENDHA of FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 333): LOCKHEART of SAFE HAVEN (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 149): CHEROKEE of CHIEFS' ELITE (Matrix, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 381): HELIO of ULTIMATE ACCELERATION from ARVAT (LHI, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 247): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 495): THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 495): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 488): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 484): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 484): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 485): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 479): RED DOG GANG (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 446): BEYOND THE PALE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 439): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 433): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 194): none
 DM  60 LOOPHOLES (turn 344): RED DOG GANG (Spot, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 333): SAFE HAVEN (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 149): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 381): BOXES (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 495): T-BONE WALKER of THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
                   (turn 494): CHERRY CHEETAH of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 487): ILSA SHE-WOLF of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
                           GEORGE BUSH of CONSPIRACY INC. (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 484): NICKEL of ERRATUM (JE, mgr.)
                           TAOS of HERE TO PHOENIX (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 445): LEADFOOT of TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 438): MARS of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 LOOPHOLES (turn 344): AVIENDHA of FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
                  (turn 343): WON TOO MANY of SAAB STORY (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 332): ERICKA BEARICKA of MONSTER CHILD (Papaiz, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Wow, now what?  This writing stuff is sort of new so I'm not sure what to say.  Back
when I first started in this arena I wrote a few things but when Mr. Freeze found out
he about blew his lid.  He kept yelling about "low profile, keep a low profile" and
he wouldn't let us write anymore.  Well, it's too late for a low profile now.  There
are some people I would like to thank on this occasion.  First I say thank you to
Terminator, you sure know when to take a night off.  I'd also like to thank
Kellumbo's kids and the Poison Clan for offering good advice when I started on this
path.  Now that I am in this position the old man says I need to show some leadership
on the team so I guess it is my turn to bloodfeud Arls, so the rest of you
challengers will just need to wait a little while to get your shot, but after all
there's NO HURRY!!!

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
SOLVEN brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  THE REPUBLICANS turned their 2-3-0 
turn into a 5th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you 
get put on hit lists.  Now let's all watch THE POISON CLAN's heads swell from their 
4-1-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big shots, big talk, big deal.  Of course, we're all 
terribly impressed to see ICE PICK win a fight and gain 16 points, terribly.  Tsk, 
tsk, TRADER JACK beat CLINT EASTWOOD and CLINT EASTWOOD lost 16 points.  You're 
breakin' my heart.  Going for broke or broken, our Duelmaster ARLS Bloodfeuded this 
turn.  And if variety is the spice of life, SOLVEN may be getting bland, as NO HURRY 
stays top dog in the city.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling 
you this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, SOLVEN?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  What's the big D?  THE DEMOCRATS was the most avoided 
team?  Bunch of lily livered... grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in 
this mass act of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was THE POISON CLAN.  
Ha ha ha ha!  FLAT TAX was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now 
was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to 
MAYBE LATER of JUST CHILLIN for challenging up by 21 to ANTHONY SCALIA.  MAYBE LATER 
lost to get 42 points of recognition.  And we have THE TOAD in a challenge, going 
down 9 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought THE TOAD showed great skill and 
promise when he beat DARRELL ISSA.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  It's about time EASY BREEZE got beat for 
picking on warriors like FLAT TAX.  Bravo, THE REPUBLICANS.  See you at The Victory 
Tavern.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing 
these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Just wait 'till next time I show up 
here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide 
Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NO HURRY 6174                12   5  0    94       JUST CHILLIN (699)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TERMINATOR 6158              10   6  1   111       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 THE TOAD 6121                15   4  0    92       THE POISON CLAN (692)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAT TAX 5998                19  22  0    87       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 NANCY PELOSI 6076            16  10  2    83       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 SNAKE CHARMER 6169           16   3  0    78       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103          15   6  0    72       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DARRELL ISSA 6108            12   8  2    68       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SAVAGE DRAGON 6155            7   9  1    66       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
-SAMURIA SAM 6200              7   6  0    66       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 WHAT UP 6172                 13   4  1    65       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 DYSON 6137                    7   4  0    63       PROTECTORS (695)
 JESSICA 6287                  6   0  0    59       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 KALAMAZOO 6116               12   9  0    58       THE ZOO (205)
 THE SCORPION 6117            11   8  0    58       THE POISON CLAN (692)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JACK JACANA 2441             11   8  0    56       FROM DOWN UNDER (154)
 EASY BREEZE 6173              9   8  2    55       JUST CHILLIN (699)
-BRUJAH 6237                   4   2  0    54       WHITE WOLF (707)
 LYEKKA 6140                   6   4  0    52       PROTECTORS (695)
-LIA' KIAN 6185                7   7  0    51       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 THE LOTUS 6208                7   7  0    47       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 MAYBE LATER 6176              9   8  1    42       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 THE PHOENIX 6227              7   5  0    42       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 ROE V WADE 6226               6   5  0    40       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
 CAROL M. BRAUN 6146           7  12  0    38       THE DEMOCRATS (202)
-CHUNG' FOW 6184               7   7  0    37       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
 GIL STAYNE 6234               4   5  0    37       K FORCE (706)
 CHARLES RANGEL 6229           5   5  1    34       THE DEMOCRATS (202)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARLS 6233                     3   6  1    33       K FORCE (706)
 TRADER JACK 6189              3   0  0    33       DROP THE LEASH (701)
-CADE 6138                     3   4  1    32       PROTECTORS (695)
-ATSA NOOLBENGER 2660          3   4  0    32       FROM DOWN UNDER (154)
 ZOOIE 6152                    5  15  1    31       THE ZOO (205)
-BONG HITS 4 JESUS 6197        2   1  0    29       THE 7TH DAY (702)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6265           5   2  0    28       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 SHADE 6232                    5   4  0    26       K FORCE (706)
-LUBIA' MEI' 6258              2   4  0    26       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
-ACHILLES 6296                 1   2  0    26       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
 JER BER 6235                  4   5  2    25       K FORCE (706)
 NAME DROPPER 6306             2   1  0    24       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-IRON MONKEY 6186              4   9  1    22       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
-SURE SHOT 6302                1   0  0    20       MEGA CHAOS (713)
-ATILLA 6228                   3   6  0    19       SAVAGE HEARTS 2 (697)
-ASSAMITE 6239                 3   3  0    18       WHITE WOLF (707)
 TAX DEDUCTION 6269            3   4  0    18       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-LING' LON 6187                2  12  0    18       CHINESE CONNECTION (700)
-HAPPY FUN DAY 6199            2   0  0    18       THE 7TH DAY (702)
-TAKILLYA SUNRISE 6300         1   0  0    18       MEGA CHAOS (713)
 CLINT EASTWOOD 6286           4   2  0    17       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-MARY MALLEFELLOW 2630         4   5  0    17       FROM DOWN UNDER (154)
 ICE PICK 6335                 1   1  0    17       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 ARISHTARTE 6257               3   6  1    16       THE ZOO (205)
 THE BASILISK 6307             2   1  0    16       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 BIG TREE 6338                 1   0  0    16       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
-BUDDHA 6304                   1   0  0    15       MEGA CHAOS (713)
 PEARL ROSELLA 2686            2   3  0    14       FROM DOWN UNDER (154)
-GANGREL 6238                  2   3  0    13       WHITE WOLF (707)
-MASTER FOOL 6303              1   0  0    13       MEGA CHAOS (713)
 JAMMER 6261                   1   1  0    11       DROP THE LEASH (701)
-VENTRUE 6273                  1   3  0    10       WHITE WOLF (707)
 SUPPLY SIDE 6358              1   0  0    10       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-ASSAMITE 6301                 1   0  0    10       MEGA CHAOS (713)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TONY BLAIR 6334               2   0  0     9       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-QUOKKA 2726                   1   1  0     9       FROM DOWN UNDER (154)
 ELDRIDGE PHANT 6280           1   6  0     9       THE ZOO (205)
 KIWIRA 6305                   2   2  0     8       THE ZOO (205)
-BONG 1 KIRK 0 6198            1   1  0     8       THE 7TH DAY (702)
 JOHN O'NEILL 6362             1   0  1     7       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ALMOST USEFUL 6315            1   0  0     5       RECORD PADDERS (715)
 WANNABEAST 6336               1   0  0     5       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 STOOPID 6319                  1   0  0     4       RECORD PADDERS (715)
-RATTLESNAKE ANNIE 6136        0   3  0     3       PROTECTORS (695)
 LUCIAS CLAY 6359              0   1  0     2       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 BULL MARKET 6331              0   2  0     2       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 ROOT 6340                     0   1  0     1       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 LARRY THURLOW 6363            0   1  0     1       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 LITTLE BRANCH 6337            0   1  0     1       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 STUMP 6339                    0   1  0     1       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 OFF STYLE 6318                0   1  0     1       RECORD PADDERS (715)
 BAD BURNER 6317               0   1  0     1       RECORD PADDERS (715)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
THIS SUCKS 6361        0  1 0 THE DEMOCRATS 202     STONE GOLEM 409       489 NONE    
NEXT TIME 6274         1  3 0 JUST CHILLIN 699      ARLS 6233             486 JUST REV
BOSCOE 6231            3  5 0 K FORCE 706           ZOOIE 6152            488         
BIG WIMP 6316          0  1 0 RECORD PADDERS 715    JOHN O'NEILL 6362     489         
2ND AMENDMENT 6211     3  7 0 THE REPUBLICANS 103   EASY BREEZE 6173      486 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kell(downchallenge)dumbo -- I do believe my CHAOS team just went 5-0-0....  Is that
quiet??  LOL. -- Matrix

Mr. Freeze -- Congrats on your first Duelmaster.  Looks like he was in a hurry after
all. -- Kellumbo

Bong Hits -- That's what you get for trying to outsmart a big girl! -- Jessica

Ventrue -- Lucky for me.  Who knows what will happen in a few turns once you learn a
bit more attack.  But for now, good for me that you sucked. -- Schwarzenegger

Happy Fun Day -- Things won't be so happy for you a few turns from now.  Enjoy your
brief existence in the arena.  I have it on good authority from Doc Legrande that you
won't be around long. -- Name Dropper

Nancy Pelosi -- Sorry about that nail there, girl. -- Ilsa

The Scorpion -- Looks like your bark is worse than your bi...sting. -- Snake Charmer
P.S.  At least you had a stinger, kinda like a snake....

Conspiracy -- Welcome back.  Why don't you stick around for a bit? -- Detective
Kellumbo

Judge -- Question:  What did the TP's manager say to the TP after he got hit in the
head with a halberd?
Answer:  Oooohhh!!!!  That's gotta hurt!
2-3 again huh, big guy.  Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. -- Detective Kellumbo

Yoo hoo, Silver Stroker????  You've been awfully quiet lately.  Not going to let a
few losses shut you up, are you? -- Kellumbo

Zooie -- Way to kill off those crummy chaos warriors! -- DK

The 7th Day -- Awfully presumptuous of you to go by the manager name of God.  Seeing
as he is the only one that will be able to save you in this arena.... -- DK

Mega Chaos -- Nice start.  Let's see how things go when you don't have tourney FE to
help you out now. -- DK
P.S.  No better than 3-3 in the tourney doesn't bode well for your team here.

Flat Tax -- Have you even won since you spouted off about how much attack you have?
-- DK

Al Gore -- 0-10?!  What's going on? -- DK

Kellumbo's Kids is proud to announce its newest warrior, Lucias Clay.  Straight from
the Wooley Swamp he came.  He never did much harm, but he never did much good either.
You don't want to be one of those young fellers doing the screaming do you?  Wish to
avoid Kellumobo's Kids #676 is all it takes to keep you safe!

     These three ads were misfiled and should probably have run last turn. -- Ed.

Kellumbo -- You are sorely mistaken.  There are a lot of managers here in Solven who
do not appreciate your massive downchallenges. -- Judge

White Wolf -- Nice downchallenge.  You must be a Kellumbo disciple.  Next time you
downchallenge, you might try making a challenge you can win. -- Judge

Eldridge Phant -- You did make my day, Punk.  That is why I am challenging you again
this turn. -- Clint Eastwood

Chaos Boys -- So, besides giving us easy challenges and wins, why were you here
again?  You seemed to run your mouths a lot before you got here, but I haven't heard
a thing from any of you since.  I hope you're not letting your actions speak for you
because all you're saying to me is, "I wanna be your whipping boy". -- Master Tazo

George Bush -- I'm lodging a complaint with the commission.  Secret service agents
should not be allowed to interfere with a fight.  That's all I'm sayin. -- The Toad

Ilsa -- I told you before, they are not excuses, they're reasons.  The only "REASON"
you beat the Toad was he had an extra 200lbs of weight strapped to his back because
of a bet I had with someone on the commission.  Otherwise he would have kicked your
butt easily.  If you don't believe me let's try it again.  Oh, that's right, you
graduated....  Guess we'll never know for sure. -- Master Tazo

Charles Rangel -- I know, don't tell me, another mistake was made.  Why else would a
famous warrior like yourself get beaten into submission by a sub-standard fighter
like me.  Oh, I know, because you suck...chyaaa. -- The Phoenix

Boscoe -- Oh, shoot.  Shuckins.  Spit on a griddle.  I was going to make a slighting
comment or two, purely in jest and good fellowship, but I got to the bottom of the
page and you were dead!  Not a joking matter.  I regret your death. -- Zooie
P.S.  But to challenge a basher, wearing nothing on your head but a leather cap, was
not the act of a sensible man.

Clint Eastwood -- But what if I didn't want to make your day? -- Eldridge Phant

Shade -- Now, THAT was amazing.  I kept expecting to drop from exhaustion and leave
you standing there grinning.  I'm glad it didn't turn out that way. -- Kalamazoo

Trader Jack -- I wouldn't have MINDED if you could have gotten me a really good deal
on--  Oh, that's your brother Joe?  Damn.  I had this CRAVING for a really sharp
cheddar.... -- Arishtarte, wistfully

Jammer -- As the spy reporter might say, this is paying your dues.  Welcome to the
world of the arena.  It is not a nice place. -- Kiwira

Jessica -- Why should I be embarrassed at losing to a woman?  I'm a woman myself. --
Arishtarte

Schwarzeneggar -- You know, you use up too many letters in your name.  We never,
well, hardly ever, challenge, so do your own "staying away," little man. -- Eldridge
Phant

Name Dropper -- What would have happened is you'd have tripped over a dropped name.
-- Kiwira

Bong Hits -- That's, er, effective-ist. -- Arishtarte
P.S.  If they don't test for ALL drugs, it's discrimination, pure and simple.

Kellumbo -- Congrats on She Wolf. -- Al Gore

At the rate my guys lose, I'll be torching the whole team. -- Al Gore

Assamite -- LOL!  Maybe this turn. -- Al Gore

30 July 2004
The total number of fights calculated was reported as 250 fights.  This is a
misprint.  It should have read "over 2,500 fights." -- Baphomet

24 August 2004
                            Invitation to Newbie Managers
                                 by Hammer

     As a Captain of the Vendetta Cartel, Hammer has recently dissolved the Vendetta
Cartel Crimson Ascension Family.  Lady Martilyo and Rook are NO LONGER members of the
Vendetta Cartel.
     The Vendetta Cartel is divided into "Families" under the leadership of Captains;
who have been appointed by the VC God Father known throughout the dueling land as
Master Darque.
     Hammer is now the Captain of the Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe and the veteran
manager extends an invitation for prospective membership as a Probate [ONLY 2 Probate
positions are available in the VC Tarantula Tribe at the present time!] to any Newbie
Manager who qualifies under the following conditions:
     1. Newbie Manager MUST have Online Access for Email communications!  [Hammer is
presently living in Qatar and Lieutenants Maximillian and Firehawk are living in
Canada; so Email Communication is a MUST for consideration!]
     2. Newbie Manager MUST have the time and funds to create 2 new stables to be
placed in 2 separate Slow Arenas [the cost of running 1 stable in a Regular Arena!]
to actively participate on a monthly basis with the other 3 T-Tribe members of the
Vendetta Cartel!
     3. Newbie Manager MUST have the DESIRE to be an Active Member of the Vendetta
Cartel as a Tarantula Tribe trainee aka Probate; developing his/her managerial skills
under the mentorship of Hammer and the other VC members; thus proving themselves
worthy to become Vendetta Cartel Lieutenants in the Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe!
     The Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe lives by the Feud; thereby prospective
Probates are forewarned that membership guarantees instant Friends and instant
Enemies!
     Any prospective Probates who 1.) seek to improve their managerial
insights/abilities under the counsel of Hammer and other Vendetta Cartel members 2.)
desire to be active members of an Active Alliance that WILL NOT Dissolve in a Few
Months; building lasting friendships while enjoying Feuding with Common Enemies 3.)
who enjoy sending their gladiators to Tournaments and would strive to see their
manager name listed among the TV and TC winners in the Mailer Tourney Newsletters as
a member of the Vendetta Cartel MUST DO THE FOLLOWING:
     Send an Email to HammerDM@fastermail.com to introduce yourself and provide
Hammer with a short Bio of your managerial successes/failures and favorite/least
favorite fighting styles; with a listing of your active stable/stables for Hammer to
verify in the online newsletters.
     Hammer will choose the 2 prospective Probates for membership in the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe on the basis of who he decides will be most suited [to
Hammer's purposes as the T-Tribe Captain!] from among those responding to this All
Arena Ad on a first response/first acceptance or rejection basis!
     -- Hammer; Vendetta Cartel Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THIS SUCKS was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a unpopular 4 minute Dark Arena fight.
NO HURRY demolished ARLS in a 1 minute gory one-sided Bloodfeud Title melee.
THE TOAD vanquished DARRELL ISSA in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
EASY BREEZE was overpowered by FLAT TAX in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
THE LOTUS was bested by KALAMAZOO in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
JESSICA overpowered ROE V WADE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
MAYBE LATER was devastated by ANTHONY SCALIA in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
CAROL M. BRAUN viciously subdued ZOOIE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee.
NAME DROPPER vanquished ARISHTARTE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SCHWARZENEGGER won victory over TAX DEDUCTION in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
ICE PICK overpowered KIWIRA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
BULL MARKET was overpowered by JAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
NANCY PELOSI subdued DYSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute competition.
SNAKE CHARMER bested WHAT UP in a crowd pleasing 2 minute veteran's battle.
THE SCORPION overpowered SHADE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
LYEKKA overpowered JER BER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
THE PHOENIX outwaited GIL STAYNE in a action packed 7 minute duel.
CLINT EASTWOOD was overpowered by TRADER JACK in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
CHARLES RANGEL devastated ELDRIDGE PHANT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
PEARL ROSELLA overpowered STUMP in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
THE BASILISK defeated LUCIAS CLAY in a crowd pleasing 5 minute amateur's conflict.
TONY BLAIR luckily beat ROOT in a exciting 5 minute beginner's fight.
STOOPID beat LITTLE BRANCH in a 4 minute beginner's fray.
OFF STYLE was handily defeated by SUPPLY SIDE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BAD BURNER was outlasted by WANNABEAST in a 7 minute gruesome novice's fight.
BIG WIMP was savagely slain by JOHN O'NEILL in a 2 minute gory beginner's fight.
BIG TREE defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a exciting 1 minute beginner's match.
ALMOST USEFUL won victory over LARRY THURLOW in a 1 minute novice's fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         TOTAL PARRY       57 -  33 -  0      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -   6 -  2      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         STRIKING ATTACK   74 -  63 -  5      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  18 -  0      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    42 -  47 -  3      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         SLASHING ATTACK   17 -  24 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  30 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  35 -  2      39  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -  14 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW        11 -  23 -  1      32  |

Turn 489 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  5         3  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  6         2  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  5                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  NO HURRY 6174              12   5  0   94 JUST CHILLIN (699)
TOTAL PARRY      THE TOAD 6121              15   4  0   92 THE POISON CLAN (692)
LUNGING ATTACK   NANCY PELOSI 6076          16  10  2   83 THE DEMOCRATS (202)
WALL OF STEEL    ANTHONY SCALIA 6103        15   6  0   72 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    KALAMAZOO 6116             12   9  0   58 THE ZOO (205)
BASHING ATTACK   EASY BREEZE 6173            9   8  2   55 JUST CHILLIN (699)
PARRY-STRIKE     LYEKKA 6140                 6   4  0   52 PROTECTORS (695)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAYBE LATER 6176            9   8  1   42 JUST CHILLIN (699)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FLAT TAX 5998.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GIL STAYNE 6234.  The ten other most popular fighters were LUCIAS CLAY 6359, ROOT 
6340, WHAT UP 6172, DARRELL ISSA 6108, KALAMAZOO 6116, NANCY PELOSI 6076, JOHN 
O'NEILL 6362, FLAT TAX 5998, CAROL M. BRAUN 6146, and ICE PICK 6335.

The least popular fighter this week was THIS SUCKS 6361.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BAD BURNER 6317, THE PHOENIX 6227, STOOPID 6319, TAX DEDUCTION 6269, 
SCHWARZENEGGER 6265, OFF STYLE 6318, THE BASILISK 6307, STUMP 6339, CLINT EASTWOOD 
6286, and JER BER 6235.