Date   : 03/09/2005    Duedate: 03/22/2005


DM-22    TURN-503

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6103) [24-9-0,131]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MAYBE LATER                    HARD LUCK WOMAN
JUST CHILLIN (699)             KISS ME (726)
(22-6176) [22-9-1,137]         (22-6448) [3-0-0,21]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

NO HURRY                       NAME DROPPER
JUST CHILLIN (699)             KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-6174) [16-15-0,86]         (22-6306) [8-8-0,63]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE REPUBLICANS (103)       25
2. JUST CHILLIN (699)          25      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)         25      Unchartered Team
4. CONSPIRACY INC. (100)       22
5. ROCK ETTS (595)             13      KISS ME (726)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*DON'T ASK SANDY (716)     16   3  0 84.2   1/ 1 THE POISON CLAN (692)     9  6 0
 2/ 2 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    190  89  4 68.1   2/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     8  7 0
 3/ 3 THE POISON CLAN (692)    100  65  1 60.6   3/ 3 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)     7  7 1
 4/ 4 ROCK ETTS (595)          406 289  7 58.4   4/ 7 THE REPUBLICANS (103)     7  8 1
 5/ 6 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)    183 148 13 55.3   5/ 5 JUST CHILLIN (699)        7  8 0
 6/ 7 JUST CHILLIN (699)        84  70  7 54.5   6/11 TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)       6  9 0
 7/ 5*KISS ME (726)              8   7  1 53.3   7/ 9 THE ZOO (205)             5  5 0
 8/ 8 THE REPUBLICANS (103)    380 376 25 50.3   8/ 2*KISS ME (726)             5  5 0
 9- 9*LEGIO ITALICA (724)       14  14  0 50.0   9- 8 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)      4  6 0
10-11 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)      56  63  5 47.1  10-10 ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)      3  2 0
11-13 ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)      51  62  3 45.1  11- 6*LEGIO ITALICA (724)       2  1 0
12/14 THE ZOO (205)            368 509  6 42.0  12/15 ROCK ETTS (595)           2  7 0
13/16 TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)       16  30  1 34.8  13-14*DON'T ASK SANDY (716)     1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Wolf at the Door #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Ilsa She-Wolf had called Eldridge a fuss-budget to his face, but to herself she 
admitted that his insistence on a little preparation was probably a good idea.  A 
change of clothes and a packed lunch wouldn't do any harm, and they might be glad of 
them.  Not that she really believed that when they climbed into the Hurinwood they'd 
be in a whole new world.  She believed that the Shew believed it, but... a whole new 
world, just sitting there waiting for them to walk in?  She adjusted her knapsack 
more comfortably on her shoulder and wondered what Eldridge had in his much larger 
pack.  Well, a Shew needed bigger clothes and probably a bigger lunch, too.  But that 
much bigger?  He could have a soup kettle in a pack that big.  With half a sack of 
potatoes, a bunch of carrots, a couple of onions, and two pounds of stew meat.  With 
maybe a loaf of bread and a crock of butter on the side.  Well, if he wanted to carry 
a big pack, that was his business.
     She squinted across the river.  The Hurinwood was still in shadow with the sun 
rising behind it, and the approaches were veiled with river mist.  That made it a 
Mysterious Destination.  What could be better?
     Ilsa adjusted her knapsack again.  "Well?  Let's go!"
     Eldridge glanced won at her, shrugged a little, and stepped onto the bridge.
     Ilsa fell into step beside him.  "Go ahead and give me the lecture," she said.
     It was hard to be sure, but she thought the big man looked startled.  "What 
     "Either one.  You know, the one about prudence and not upsetting strangers or 
taking stupid risks, or the one about a different world having different customs, and 
stuff I should avoid saying or doing.  Get it over with."
     "I wasn't planning on lecturing you."  His mouth twitched as he suppressed a 
smile, but she could hear it in his voice as he went on, "I don't see any point in 
advising prudence.  To you?  Waste of time.  And you're looking for new-and-
different, so there's no point in warning you about it.  You expect it.  You want 
     "What about language?" she asked, pausing half way across the bridge.  She 
hadn't given that a moment's thought till now, but what if she couldn't talk to 
     "You'll find the accent strange, and there will be words you don't know, but 
mostly it'll be understandable.  They won't CALL it Andorian or Fratsfan, but it'll 
sound like that to you."
     "Oh.  Good.  I guess."  She resumed walking, stepping carefully from one 
flagstone to the next like a child playing a game.  "Some kind of magic?"
     "No.  The language actually is similar.  Part of it is, well, there's some 
travel between Alastari and," he gestured ahead of them, "over there, so people share 
words or, I don't know how to say it, just... the languages don't drift too far 
apart.  And a traveler once told me that the languages have roots in common."  He 
held up a hand the size of a small shield.  "Don't ask me how!  I'm not a scholar."
     The shallow arch of the roadbed angled downward as Ilsa considered this.  There 
was no denying that it would be convenient, but it sounded so peculiar.  She stepped 
off the end of the bridge.  On the Hurinwood side, the paving continued for a few 
yards, but nobody kept the stones clear, and they disappeared under blown dust and 
leaves.  How much farther did the road go under the surface of dirt and weeds?  "So 
why did they build the bridge and the road, if nobody comes over here?"
     Eldridge shrugged.  "People used to come here.  The gate used to be shut, you 
see, and this was just a normal... well, fairly normal wooded highland.  People lived 
up here."
     "So what happened?"  Ilsa punched him lightly on the arm.  "Don't make me drag 
all this out of you, El!  I may need to know.  So tell me."
     "You'd find it boring."
     They were wading through the mist now, chest high on her, waist high on the 
Shew.  It was a cold mist, and beads of moisture formed on her clothes.  They might 
as well have swum the river!  But Eldridge had insisted that they go as soon as it 
was light, instead of waiting till the mist was gone.  Sometimes the mist didn't ever 
go away completely, so this was probably for the best, but still.
     "Tell me enough so I don't do something stupid.  I don't WANT to do something 
stupid, you know."
     This time Eldridge did smile, in fact, he laughed.  "Good!  I wouldn't want you 
to do something stupid.  Especially with me along!  Okay."  He frowned at the dark 
rise of the Hurinwood beyond the mist.  "Okay, the Hurinwood has always been a place 
where the two worlds touch.  But usually the gate has been closed.  Closed and 
locked.  The 'touching' of the worlds wasn't very strong.  People could ignore it, 
and there's a fine view and a good breeze up on the edge of the high ground, and good 
hunting and pasturing farther in, so people just... used the land.  I guess it seemed 
like a normal, reasonable thing to do."
     Ilsa nodded encouragement and stumbled over something hidden by the mist.  She 
would have fallen if Eldridge hadn't caught her.  Which would have been embarrassing.  
She needed to be more careful until she could see where she was stepping.  "What 
about on the other side?"
     "The same, I suppose.  But then things got more, well, more tricky I guess you 
could say.  The barrier between the worlds started... leaking.  So people moved away, 
a few at a time, but the fewer were left, the faster they went.  And now it's 
     "That's IT?  People just felt uneasy and left, nothing dramatic, nothing...."  
She groped for a word.
     "That's it," Eldridge said.  "In the shell of a small nut, anyway.  Sometimes 
people came back for a while, and then left again.  Sometimes there WERE monsters, or 
near enough.  But, no, nothing really dramatic."
     "Well, that's disappointing.  I was hoping for monsters.  Monsters would be 
     "Exciting!"  The Shew stopped, forcing her to stop and face him.  "Ilsa, I 
thought you had more sense!  You'll get us both killed if you go looking for 
     "No, I won't!  We can handle a monster or two.  Don't be such a fuss-budget!"  
She stamped her foot on the unseen road and ignored the cold shiver that passed over 
     Eldridge looked around quickly.  Ilsa did, too, but she couldn't see much.  
Sometimes she envied him that extra two feet of height.  But right now... his 
expression was scaring her, because he suddenly had no expression at all.  Just... 
     "What is it?" Ilsa asked in a small voice.
     "We aren't in Alastari any more, Ilsa."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Ilsa sank onto the rock beside the road and felt for her water bottle.  "Is it 
my imagination, or is it hotter here?"
     "Hotter.  I think we're farther south."
     "Farther south than what?"  She took a swallow of tepid water.  They hadn't 
crossed any streams, so she was trying to conserve it, but it was a hot, bright day, 
and she was thirsty.  "Do you have any idea where we are?"
     "Northwestern Alnora, I think.  Does that mean anything to you?"
     "Nope.  You could be lying, and I'd never know.  At least, never until we meet 
somebody.  If we ever meet somebody.  What's Alnora?"
     Eldridge shrugged and sat down beside her after a final scan of their 
surroundings.  Ilsa was trying to avoid looking at the surroundings, herself.  This 
was not what she'd pictured "another world" looking like.  It was just like the world 
she'd left, but with fewer people and a lot more hot, dusty miles.  Miles behind 
them, was a high, wooded valley that was the other side of the Hurinwood.  They'd 
come through some rough hills; that had been hard walking.  And now they were 
crossing a plain speckled with rocks and trees.  Where were the people?  The animals?  
There could have been cattle here, but there weren't even rabbits.  What kind of land 
didn't even have rabbits?
     "I didn't really study this stuff," Eldridge said.  "This is just what I've 
picked up from hearing people talk, back home, okay?  Alnora's a peninsula, maybe as 
big as Alastari more or less.  Ocean, actual salt-water sea, on the east, south, and 
west.  I figure the land we've seen is probably typical."  He sighed.  Shews favored 
cool, misty forests.  "I'm trying to reach the coast.  People live along the rivers 
and on the coast, and we need to hook up with some local people.  For supplies if 
nothing else, but we need to know what's happening.  Because you're right, there 
should be more people around.  Somebody should be living up here, they should have 
cattle up here as long as the grass is good."  He sighed again.  "You're going to get 
your excitement, I bet."
     "Great!"  Ilsa capped her water bottle and leaped to her feet, practically 
bouncing with eagerness.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): CHAOS WARRIOR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): I WET MY BED! of I BENT MY WOOKIE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): ANTHONY SCALIA of CONSPIRACY INC. (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): STONEFISH of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): TRIMOX of OSCO INTOXICATORS (Osco, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): PINK of SEEING RED (Edge, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): ADMIRAL ISO of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): BORIS KARLOFF of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GREW SOME GRUE of OLD SCHOOL (Otto X. Frothingslosh)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): BEXLEY of OHIO (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): THE-SHOCKER of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): SELAUNAH of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): DEADPOOL of X-FORCE from TARRGIR (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): none
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): THE POISON CLAN (Master Tazo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): MADTOWN (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 253): L'ORC BLEU of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 508): STRONGBOW of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): SNAKE CHARMER of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
                           BLIND ILLUSION of MEDIEVAL CHAOS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 459): PISTON HURRICANE of AS FAR AS SIAM (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                             CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 346): PASSER BY of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             WHIPSNADE of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             DASKINOR of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly SOLVEN games.  There were bitter words at KISS ME's 
guildhouse after a 1-2-0 showing this week which dropped the stable into 8th.  Dark 
Arena anyone?  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness 
how this week TREE PEOPLE 2 went 3-2-0 to move up 5 in the rankings.  MAYBE LATER 
caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as she skillfully bested SNAKE 
CHARMER and was awarded 15 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable 
duels, KUNG-FU MASTER put down SCHWARZENEGGER, causing him to lose 12 points of 
recognition in the process.  Most watched of the fights this week, the spotlight was 
on THE SCORPION as he bore arms against the challenge of reigning Duelmaster ANTHONY 
SCALIA.  Although THE SCORPION made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to topple 
the reign of victorious ANTHONY SCALIA.  Informants "close" to the city champion have 
told me that he never fights without pantyhose on beneath his armor.  Watch out!   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In SOLVEN "art" is a word that has 
long since passed from the language!  My inside sources tell me that the team to beat 
in SOLVEN these days is CONSPIRACY INC..  At least, most blades in town are looking 
to avoid them.  If you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard pressed to 
find any of KELLUMBO'S KIDS last week.  Busy avoiding CONSPIRACY INC.?  Mighty 
fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  ZOOIE take warning!  You 
have more than a few enemies in SOLVEN.   
     Vendettas.  Bloodied blades and broken spears.  Indeed the city has seen more 
than its fair share of red in recent times.  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers 
the miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     The girls are as pretty in SOLVEN as ever I remembered them....and the fighters 
as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till we meet 
again, remember:  a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a 
lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANTHONY SCALIA 6103          24   9  0   131       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAYBE LATER 6176             22   9  1   137       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 THE SCORPION 6117            19  14  0   100       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 THE LOTUS 6208               15  13  0    92       THE POISON CLAN (692)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NO HURRY 6174                16  15  0    86       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 LUCIAS CLAY 6359             10   4  0    82       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 SCHWARZENEGGER 6265          16   5  0    78       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 EASY BREEZE 6173             15  16  3    76       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 THE PHOENIX 6227             17   9  0    73       THE POISON CLAN (692)
 PLATINUM 5677                12  30  1    71       ROCK ETTS (595)
 CLINT EASTWOOD 6286          12   8  0    68       THE REPUBLICANS (103)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TAX DEDUCTION 6269           10  11  1    66       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
-CRIMSON WONDER 6373           8   3  0    64       MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)
 NAME DROPPER 6306             8   8  0    63       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BIFF STREICHER 6375           6   9  1    54       MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)
-CAIUS 6404                    6   0  0    49       LEGIO ITALICA (724)
-WRATHCHILD 6395              11  11  0    46       ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)
 THE BASILISK 6307            11   6  0    46       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-CEPACOL 6377                  9   8  1    44       MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TONY BLAIR 6334              10   3  0    43       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 ARISHTARTE 6257               7   9  1    42       THE ZOO (205)
-SUBOTAI 6387                  7   5  1    40       ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)
 TAMMY 6407                    7   2  0    40       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 ZOOIE 6152                    6  21  1    40       THE ZOO (205)
-FREDDY BEAR 6389              9   8  0    39       ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)
 SUPPLY SIDE 6358              6   9  0    39       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 ELDRIDGE PHANT 6280           3  11  0    35       THE ZOO (205)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BROOKS AND DUNN 6398          4   8  1    33       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 WOOFAMIGH 6177                2   0  0    31       ROCK ETTS (595)
-ON A DATE 6325                3   1  0    29       DON'T ASK SANDY (716)
-I DON'T GET 87 PTS? 6323      4   0  0    28       DON'T ASK SANDY (716)
 APPLE TREE 6411               3   3  0    28       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
-AEMILIA 6402                  4   2  0    27       LEGIO ITALICA (724)
-MARIUS 6401                   3   3  0    27       LEGIO ITALICA (724)
-2 CHEAT 4 YOU 6320            4   0  0    24       DON'T ASK SANDY (716)
-WHEN'S IT DUE? 6324           4   0  0    24       DON'T ASK SANDY (716)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIWIRA 6305                   5   6  0    21       THE ZOO (205)
 PEAR TREE 6412                3   2  0    21       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 HARD LUCK WOMAN 6448          3   0  0    21       KISS ME (726)
 SANDSTONE 6056                2   4  0    18       ROCK ETTS (595)
 CHRISTINE GREGOIRE 6441       2   1  1    16       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
-RIP-A-DIP 6384                3   1  0    11       ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)
 OHIO '04 6428                 2   3  0    11       THE REPUBLICANS (103)
 SKOME TREE 6467               1   0  0    11       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 FOREVER 6422                  3   1  0    10       KISS ME (726)
 ZEBROE 6370                   2   4  0    10       THE ZOO (205)
-DESTINED TO DIE 6383          2   2  0    10       ULTRA-VIOLENCE (723)
-WHY DUEL II? 6405             1   0  0     9       DON'T ASK SANDY (716)
 FROZEN FANNY 6469             1   0  0     7       JUST CHILLIN (699)
 CALIF OAK 6450                1   1  0     7       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
-BLOSSUM 6431                  0   1  0     7       ROCK ETTS (595)
 SHOUT IT OUT LOUD 6421        1   2  1     6       KISS ME (726)
 THE MONKEY 6460               1   1  0     4       THE POISON CLAN (692)
-DETROIT ROCK CITY 6423        1   1  0     4       KISS ME (726)
-SLIM JIM 6440                 0   3  0     3       MEDIEVAL CHAOS (722)
 CORD 6432                     0   3  0     3       TREE PEOPLE 2 (718)
 DEAN LOGAN 6449               0   2  0     2       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
 KEVIN KENNEDY 6456            0   2  0     2       CONSPIRACY INC. (100)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BANNANA SPLIT 6468     0  1 0 JUST CHILLIN 699      MOUNTAIN TROLL 401    503 NONE    
ICE PICK 6335          8  6 0 JUST CHILLIN 699      BROOKS AND DUNN 6398  501 JUST REV
GOT TO CHOOSE 6419     0  2 0 KISS ME 726           CHRISTINE GREGOI 6441 501 REVENGED
CHRISTINE SIXTEE 6420  0  1 0 KISS ME 726           ULTRA FAITH 6360      500         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Crimson Wonder -- This is all Eldridge's fault, you know.  We were perfectly happy in 
retirement, and then he had to go and get into a story with Ilsa She-Wolf, which 
meant he had to go active, which meant the whole TEAM had to go active, and I'm just 
SICK about it. -- Zooie

Tony Blair -- Classic style match there.  Glad you survived it. -- Arishtarte

Sandstone -- Why, thank you, ma'am.  Given that I'm now adventuring and responsible, 
in a way, well, in most ways, *I* think, for Ilsa, a win is a good thing to have.  
Authors are so suggestible, you know. -- Eldridge Phant

Slim Jim -- Was this a bad-luck match for you, or what?  But at least you survived, 
and any fight you walk away from is by definition not a disaster. -- Kiwira

Dean Logan -- Didn't you know that it's bad luck for a short guy like you to be a 
lefty so close to the equinox? -- Zebroe

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BANNANA SPLIT was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
NO HURRY devastated BROOKS AND DUNN in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
SHOUT IT OUT LOUD was savagely defeated by CHRISTINE GREGOIRE in a 2 minute fight.
ANTHONY SCALIA bested THE SCORPION in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge Title fight.
LUCIAS CLAY savagely defeated PLATINUM in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
TAX DEDUCTION was narrowly defeated by THE PHOENIX in a 5 minute Challenge struggle.
APPLE TREE was luckily beaten by TAMMY in a 6 minute gruesome Challenge melee.
SUPPLY SIDE won victory over ZOOIE in a 1 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
PEAR TREE luckily beat ZEBROE in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
FOREVER was vanquished by ELDRIDGE PHANT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CORD was beaten by OHIO '04 in a popular 1 minute brutal novice's Challenge melee.
CALIF OAK subdued DEAN LOGAN in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge competition.
SNAKE CHARMER was viciously subdued by MAYBE LATER in a 2 minute veteran's battle.
SCHWARZENEGGER was viciously subdued by KUNG-FU MASTER in a popular 7 minute conflict.
EASY BREEZE was savagely defeated by THE LOTUS in a 2 minute expert's struggle.
CLINT EASTWOOD overpowered ARISHTARTE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
NAME DROPPER viciously subdued THE BASILISK in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
TONY BLAIR luckily beat AMBITIOUS GUARD in a exciting 4 minute bout.
KIWIRA was overpowered by WOOFAMIGH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SANDSTONE was outwaited by HARD LUCK WOMAN in a slow 18 minute bout.
KEVIN KENNEDY was viciously subdued by FROZEN FANNY in a 1 minute novice's match.
THE MONKEY was overcome by SKOME TREE in a 4 minute novice's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         PARRY-STRIKE       8 -   3 -  0      73  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       57 -  39 -  1      59  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         WALL OF STEEL     37 -  26 -  1      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  19 -  2      54  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  27 -  3      51  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         AIMED BLOW         8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   34 -  54 -  1      39  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK     4 -  10 -  1      29  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  20 -  1      23  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   5 -  0      17  |

Turn 503 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  6         3  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    ANTHONY SCALIA 6103        24   9  0  131 CONSPIRACY INC. (100)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAYBE LATER 6176           22   9  1  137 JUST CHILLIN (699)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE SCORPION 6117          19  14  0  100 THE POISON CLAN (692)
LUNGING ATTACK   LUCIAS CLAY 6359           10   4  0   82 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
TOTAL PARRY      SCHWARZENEGGER 6265        16   5  0   78 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NO HURRY 6174.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was NAME DROPPER 6306.  The ten other most popular fighters were TAX DEDUCTION 6269, 
6460, CHRISTINE GREGOIRE 6441, THE SCORPION 6117, OHIO '04 6428, and DEAN LOGAN 6449.

The least popular fighter this week was SANDSTONE 6056.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HARD LUCK WOMAN 6448, TAMMY 6407, SKOME TREE 6467, KEVIN KENNEDY 6456, 
OUT LOUD 6421.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: