Date   : 09/19/2007    Duedate: 10/02/2007


DM-22    TURN-569

This Weeks Top Honors


MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
(22-6617) [19-16-0,89]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)            
(22-6617) [19-16-0,89]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

EDGILES KAPP                   JEROME
MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)            KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-6617) [19-16-0,89]         (22-6675) [4-0-0,36]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       40
2. MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)         17      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. OXYMORONS (698)              0      Unchartered Team

                                       PBMS (524)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    405 194 12 67.6   1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    11  4 1
 2/ 3 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)       85  89  2 48.9   2/ 2 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)       6  9 0
 3- 4 OXYMORONS (698)            6  18  0 25.0   3- 3 OXYMORONS (698)           1  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 287): BURPS FIRE HAMMER of ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): MAN'S BEST FRIEND of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 575): SHOWSTOPPER of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): D.O.A. DOMINANCE of OXYMORONS (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 564): SYMPATHY of MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): LORIS KEY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 557): EARTHQUAKE EXCUSE of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 527): HAMILTON of VABOROUGHS (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 518): VALGARD of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): REAGAN of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): BOB LE CANADIEN of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): TYVEK of DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 411): CLE of UN (JE, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 461): VISION of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 287): BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 575): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 564): MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): MEDAL OF HONOR VI (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 557): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 527): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 518): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): TUFT-TASTIC! (Adie, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): FIRE INC. (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 411): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 461): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): TIEN of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): MAGENTA MAGGOT of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 575): VIOLET VULTURE of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): BELISSA HOUGH of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 567): NAFISAH of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): KERMAN JONES of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): LORIS KEY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): CARDINAL ARIZPE of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 517): WILLIAM CRAWFORD of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): REAGAN of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): BOB LE CANADIEN of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): RICKY J of THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): JESSICA RABBIT of BRAIN FOOD 36 (The Sandman, mgr.)
                 (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, SOLVEN?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed 
to see JACKSON win a fight and gain 15 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, JACKSON beat 
CHUCKER ISTTA and CHUCKER ISTTA lost 12 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Due to 
absence, and inability to defend the throne, D.O.A. DOMINANCE has lost the Title of 
Duelmaster.  Start setting that alarm earlier!  And it's out with the old, in with 
the new, as EDGILES KAPP takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The Victory Tavern, humph!  I've tasted better ale at 
mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  From SOLVEN's trash dumps?   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  SOLVEN, 
I am losing what little hope I had in you.  4-LETTER CURSE WORDS the most avoided 
team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And it looks like KELLUMBO'S KIDS 
avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  
Hmph.  Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, IO OLDEND was this turn's most challenged 
warrior.  Watch that ego swell, sports fans.  I notice JEROME challenging down 22 
points to fight IO OLDEND, KELLUMBO'S KIDS doubtless has some rotten excuse for such 
an insult to honor.  And sorry to say, JEROME defeated IO OLDEND, leaving a bad 
feeling with the crowd.  I think exploitive snob is the term I'm looking for.   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave 
team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before 
I leave the fine city of SOLVEN.  I feel much better now.  Paste this one in your 
scrapbooks, you'll need the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EDGILES KAPP 6617            19  16  0    89       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JACKSON 6649                  9   2  0    87       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-D.O.A. DOMINANCE 6162         6  10  0    82       OXYMORONS (698)
 CHUCKER ISTTA 6619           17  18  0    69       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DOLBY JOSSEL 6614            13  15  0    54       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
 JEROME 6675                   4   0  0    36       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GRIFF 6670                    3   3  0    28       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IO OLDEND 6673                2   3  1    10       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
-KELLUMBO'S COURAGE 6289       0   1  0     5       OXYMORONS (698)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BYE BYE JUDGE 6684     1  1 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   BANDIT PRINCE 408     569 NONE    
IT'S SO DARK 6685      0  1 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676   SPYMASTER 405         569 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jorja -- Thanks for the kind words to Nafisah.  Looks like for the most part it will
be just you and me in the arena for a while. -- Kellumbo

IO Oldend -- You should really pay your debts off.  People hate to be owed. -- Jerome

Dolby -- I am rooting for you to win and get up into the champs this turn!  Go get
em! -- Jackson

Chucker -- Hopefully we'll have different results than the last time we fought.  Put
em up I say, put em up! -- Jackson

Belissa -- Big time congrats.  Care to share your stats and faves if you are not
going to run in ADM?  You seemed to be a really solid warrior. -- DK

D.O.A. Dominance -- Like I care!  A golem like you probably doesn't have anything
better to hope for, but I'm going to start a milliner's shop as soon as I'm through
here in the arena.  Maybe not in Solven, though, it's too quiet here.  People don't

do the "high society" bit so much, and that's what you need to really make a go of
hats.  Maybe Fratsfa...hmm.  Well, whatever, not your concern, right?  I don't
suppose neuter golems even WEAR hats. -- Belissa Hough

Jackson -- You don't look like a kid to ME.  Damned young hotshot is what YOU are.
And no respect for a venerable old fossil like me with creaky joints.  Damn straight
I've been reconsidering this gladiator stuff.  Trouble is, the only way to get out,
for my team, is death or graduation.  (sigh)  Maybe next year.... -- Dolby Jossel

Jerome -- What a spoiled little brat you are!  I use "little" metaphorically, of
course.  Your manners are atrocious.  I suppose you were a Momma's Boy and she never
disciplined you, so you thought you should and would have everything handed to you on
a platter.  Ha.  Someone needs to jerk you up short.  But not me. -- Io Oldend

Nafisah -- And awaaaay you go! -- Edgiles Kapp
P.S.  How come I didn't learn more from a graduating warrior, by the way?  You
should've had lots to teach me, and now you won't have another chance!  Think of the
opportunity missed.

Well, of COURSE the Virginal Concubine's insurance has lapsed!  It lapsed the minute
she got thrown out of the palace.  Catch any rich-and-haughty type insuring a FORMER
concubine, eh? -- Chucker Istta

Very low/low?  I'm a striker, for pete's sake, not a SCUM.  In fact, I'm a DECISIVE
striker, which doesn't sound scummy at all to me.  Drat.  Those people at the
Commission are NUTS. -- Belissa Hough

6 September 2007
                   *****                              *******
                   ***** STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3  *******
                   *****                              *******

15 managers have announced for the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse!!!!!!  There is still 
time to join and make a name for yourself in one of Alastari's fiercest contests!  I 
must correct a mistake in the previous announcement.  I incorrectly called it the 
Slaughterhouse 2, but in reality, this will be the third installment of the 


*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn 
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up 
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates 
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

*RU certificates must be received on or before the first turn of the contest which is 
Stormcrowe Turn 263 (running approximately November 27, 2007).


Rules and Scoring information for the Slaughterhouse will be posted every turn in the 
Stormcrowe newsletter beginning with Turn 260 and in a final all arena ad in 


ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes 
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a Limited 
Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she will be 
resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize 
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three 
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating 
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time, 
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.


Rules questions and clarifications may be directed to Master Darque the contest 
coordinator.  He may be reached by email at rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or by 
diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428).

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BYE BYE JUDGE was dealt death by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
IT'S SO DARK was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
JACKSON demolished CHUCKER ISTTA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
JEROME devastated IO OLDEND in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
EDGILES KAPP demolished VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute mismatched Title competition.
BELISSA HOUGH vanquished KUNG-FU MASTER in a exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.
DOLBY JOSSEL outwaited HAPPY PEASANT in a dull 7 minute gruesome uneven fight.
GRIFF vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -   8 -  1      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         TOTAL PARRY       19 -  13 -  0      59  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW        13 -   9 -  0      59  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    10 -   8 -  3      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   9 -  1      40  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -  21 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         SLASHING ATTACK    3 -   8 -  1      27  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         WALL OF STEEL      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 569 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   EDGILES KAPP 6617          19  16  0   89 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
AIMED BLOW       JACKSON 6649                9   2  0   87 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is EDGILES KAPP 6617.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was BYE BYE JUDGE 6684.  The ten other most popular fighters were JEROME 6675, 
JACKSON 6649, EDGILES KAPP 6617, GRIFF 6670, IO OLDEND 6673, IT'S SO DARK 6685, 
CHUCKER ISTTA 6619, DOLBY JOSSEL 6614,  0, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was DOLBY JOSSEL 6614.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CHUCKER ISTTA 6619, IT'S SO DARK 6685, IO OLDEND 6673, GRIFF 
6670, EDGILES KAPP 6617, JACKSON 6649, JEROME 6675, BYE BYE JUDGE 6684,  0, and  0.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

BELISSA HOUGH (22-6620) MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)