Date   : 03/19/2008    Duedate: 04/01/2008


DM-22    TURN-582

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6694) [8-2-1,92]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DONDRIC                        POSITION IS EMPTY
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          
(22-6694) [8-2-1,92]           

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

IO OLDEND                      ANTHON
MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)            KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-6673) [11-7-1,58]          (22-6693) [6-4-1,88]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       12
2. MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)         12      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. HOT WHEELS (686)             8      Unchartered Team

                                       DARKLIGHTNING (555)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    444 213 16 67.6   1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)     8  2 1
 2/ 2 HOT WHEELS (686)          10   6  0 62.5   2/ 2 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)       7  8 0
 3/ 4 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)      113 126  3 47.3   3/ 4 HOT WHEELS (686)          2  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lenpro scanned the front page of the Andorian Star quickly and frowned.  On his
lean and hawk-like face, the expression was intimidating.  "I did not think it was a
good idea to allow that gadfly from the Star an interview," he said.
     Senator Sedalia, not one to be intimidated, shook his head.  "He struck just the
right note," the Lord Protector argued.  "Concern but not suspicion or alarm--yet.
After all, there may be a reasonable explanation for the king's failure to act.  We
have given them an opening to make that explanation."  He leaned back in his chair
and propped his heels on footstool.  Nowhere but at the Lenpro guildhouse was there a
chair so perfectly suited to him, and he intended to enjoy it while he could.  All
too soon, he would be headed back for Andor and the Royal Palace.  The rain drumming
on the roof did not make that an enticing prospect.  Memory of the shiftyeyed clerks
and minor ministers he'd met on the last trip was also depressing.
     "That insolent puppy of a reporter even quoted me!" Lenpro growled.
     Sedalia picked up his own copy of the tabloid and scanned the short article

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Star #101 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     In an interview yesterday, Senator Sedalia stated that he had gone to Andor with
the intention of requesting the King's aid for the coastal areas battered by the
dramatic and tempestuous waves resulting from the sinking of Krael.
     "I and my colleagues felt that the devastation along the coast is properly a
matter for the King's attention," the senator and lord protector said.  "We did not
go seeking a hand-out, but only a helping hand."
     A spokesman at the Royal Palace, who declined to identify himself when queried
on Sedalia's visit, said that the matter had been "taken under advisement."  No
further development of this position could be obtained in Andor.
     Senator Sedalia's manager, Lenpro of Iaye, told this reporter that, "We will
pursue this matter."
     Anyone with information that might be of assistance is invited to communicate
with the Andorian Star office.

     "There is such a thing as bad publicity," the senator acknowledged, "even though
some people claim otherwise.  But this is not it.  Concerned and firm.  All cats are
still in their bags."
     Lenpro snorted laughter.  "Have you ever tried to bag a cat and keep it there?
Word that we're up to something will be all over northwestern Alastari faster than
horses can gallop."
     "I've often thought carrier pigeons should be roasted and eaten," Sedalia
agreed.  "Besides, those rumors will work in our favor.  Anyone who even thinks they
know something will be getting in touch."
     "Tchh!"  Lenpro stood suddenly.  "Are you so much of a fool, Sedalia?  The
Assassins' Guild has been dissolved--officially.  But it has long been an arm of the
King of Andoria, and I do not believe that he--or whoever is behind him--has
dispensed with it now."
     "As a Lord Protector--" Sedalia began.
     "--You are subject to the whims of the Grey Witch," Lenpro finished.  "There is
a strong possibility that she is involved in this business.  Do you think that a Lord
Protector assassinated for prying into her business would be resurrected by her
     Sedalia shifted uncomfortably.  As a politician, conspiracy theories came
naturally to him, but to involve the premier magician in Alastari with one did
seem... risky.  "There are powerful magicians who aren't on her payroll," he said.
"Fandil of Ardivent, Lady Adeolar of Aruak City, Master Cho--plenty of them.  And,"
now Sedalia stood, as well, "I have been involved in politics for a lifetime and
survived it.  I am no easy target for an assassin."
     Lenpro was silent for several minutes, staring past his gladiator at the rain-
curtained window.  Finally he sighed.  "The time for caution and second thoughts has
passed," he admitted.  "We have already begun, and the blades will fall where they
may.  Be careful."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 293): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 588): SAFFRON SKUNK of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 588): MOLYNEUX of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 581): JEROME of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 577): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 577): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 574): CAYLON MCCANN of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 570): KLINK of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 539): PARTICLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 530): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 521): NIVIX of INFERNAL LORDS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 241): PAS DE QUARTIER of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 423): ELEPHANT DUNG of WILD KINGDOM (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 194): I OF THE KNEE DOLL of HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 473): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 293): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 588): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 588): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 551): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 577): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 577): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 574): STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 570): THE A'S -- LOSERS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 539): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 530): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 521): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 241): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 422): THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 194): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 473): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 587): 100% of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 538): SELVUN of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 529): LORIMINA of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 520): BUNKER of SONS OF TULL (Gerald Bostock, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 239): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 191): AIKEN of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, SOLVEN?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed 
to see 365 GTB4 win a fight and gain 8 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, 365 GTB4 beat IO 
OLDEND and IO OLDEND lost 4 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Due to absence, and 
inability to defend the throne, JEROME has lost the Title of Duelmaster.  Start 
setting that alarm earlier!  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as DONDRIC 
takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The 
Victory Tavern, humph!  I've tasted better ale at mortuaries.  Where do they get this 
stuff?  From SOLVEN's trash dumps?   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  KELLUMBO'S KIDS was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily 
livered... grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of 
cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was HOT WHEELS.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ooh, 
I'm frightfully impressed, DOLBY JOSSEL was this turn's most challenged warrior.  
Watch that ego swell, sports fans.  And we have ANTHON in a challenge, going down 11 
points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought ANTHON showed great skill and promise 
when he bested DOLBY JOSSEL.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines 
through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     There's got to be a better place in SOLVEN to get a drink than The Victory 
Tavern!  Any suggestions?  Just wait 'till next time I show up here, I won't be so 
nice!  So nyaaah!  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DONDRIC 6694                  8   2  1    92       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JACKSON 6649                 17   2  0   123       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
-JEROME 6675                  14   2  0   101       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 365 GTB4 6054                10   6  0    90       HOT WHEELS (686)
 ANTHON 6693                   6   4  1    88       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 CHUCKER ISTTA 6619           18  30  0    84       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
 DOLBY JOSSEL 6614            16  25  0    73       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IO OLDEND 6673               11   7  1    58       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LIPSTICK 6686                 7   5  2    50       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 CHAWLIE ISTTA 6688            7   6  1    37       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOTL MUSCHEL 6707             3   0  0    29       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GARBIN MOORIS 6700      2  3 0 MIDDLE WAY 15 747    PETITE SIRAH 6696     579   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Anthon -- If I were feeling generous, and not quite so crippled from that fight, I
think I'd give you a terminal-wye for your name.  Not that there's anything wrong
with the name you've got, but sometimes it seems to confuse Jorja.  She probably
tries to do too much. -- Dolby Jossel

Dondric -- Quick is good, I have a date tonight.  But how do you expect me to dance
with that wound?  Cheeze loueeze, learn to pull your blows a little! -- Io Oldend

Kung-Fu Master.  (sigh)  How many times do I have to tell how many people that kung-
fu is not my "thing"?  I am never, if I can possibly help it, going to attack a
kungfusian, so why am I putting in all this practice? -- Chucker Istta

Lipstick -- I just really dig the way you were all over me, you know?  And I'm not
going to wash it off, either, I want certain people to see it and know that there are
other women around who find me worth their time. -- Chawlie Istta

That Constable is so Friendly, he's indecent. -- Hotl Muschel

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ANTHON bested DOLBY JOSSEL in a action packed 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
DONDRIC overcame CHUCKER ISTTA in a action packed 2 minute one-sided Title match.
365 GTB4 devastated IO OLDEND in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CHAWLIE ISTTA demolished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
HOTL MUSCHEL vanquished POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW         5 -   0 -  0     100  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -   3 -  1      83  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   9 -  1      59  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  15 -  1      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         STRIKING ATTACK    2 -   2 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         TOTAL PARRY        5 -  17 -  0      23  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         WALL OF STEEL      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 582 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  BASHING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   DONDRIC 6694                8   2  1   92 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
BASHING ATTACK   ANTHON 6693                 6   4  1   88 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
SLASHING ATTACK  IO OLDEND 6673             11   7  1   58 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is IO OLDEND 6673.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ANTHON 6693.  The ten other most popular fighters were DONDRIC 6694, CHUCKER 
ISTTA 6619, 365 GTB4 6054, CHAWLIE ISTTA 6688, HOTL MUSCHEL 6707, DOLBY JOSSEL 6614, 
IO OLDEND 6673,  0,  0, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was IO OLDEND 6673.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were DOLBY JOSSEL 6614, HOTL MUSCHEL 6707, CHAWLIE ISTTA 6688, 365 GTB4 
6054, CHUCKER ISTTA 6619, DONDRIC 6694, ANTHON 6693,  0,  0, and  0.