Date   : 05/14/2008    Duedate: 05/27/2008


DM-22    TURN-586

This Weeks Top Honors


(22-6675) [18-2-0,137]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JEROME                         POSITION IS EMPTY
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          
(22-6675) [18-2-0,137]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JEROME                         JEROME
KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)          KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
(22-6675) [18-2-0,137]         (22-6675) [18-2-0,137]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)       19
2. MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)         13      KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
3. HOT WHEELS (686)             0      Unchartered Team


The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    456 220 17 67.5   1/ 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)    10  5 1
 2- 2 HOT WHEELS (686)          11   8  0 57.9   2/ 2 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)       6  9 0
 3/ 3 MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)      121 138  3 46.7   3- 3 HOT WHEELS (686)          0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #5 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lenpro watched the last of the gladiators leave, clearing the common room of the
Krill Cavalry guildhouse for his conference with Fandil.  They were probably decent
people, but he didn't know them, and the situation did not incline him to trust any
     "It will be fine," Fandil said.  "They won't go blabbing about our presence, and
they won't hear anything that matters, anyway."  He gestured, and a faint shimmer
sprang up, form a hemisphere in the room, enclosing the two of them.  "This will
ensure that there are no eavesdroppers."
     After a moment, Lenpro shrugged.  "Okay, it's what we've got to work with,
anyway.  Where do we start, then?"
     "With the king, I think.  No one's heard seen him in... two or three years, at
least, I think?"
     Lenpro nodded.  "At least."
     "Nor heard anything that constitutes persuasive evidence that he is still alive,
still functional, and concerned with his job."
     Lenpro nodded again, imapatiently.  "I know all that.  You know all that--"
     "Just making sure we both know that we both know," Fandil said.  "Assumptions
are the shifting sands under faulty planning.  All the information we can gather
indicates that the king has spent the past several years on the Isle, never leaving
it.  Anything official coming out of Andor is signed by Herlas d'Arenju, styling
himself 'First Minister to the King'.  He is said to be Fratsfan, but he isn't listed
in the Fratsfan Register of Noble Houses and Scions."
     "Does that matter?  That he isn't a nobleman?"
     "I don't suppose so, in itself.  But I would like to find some indication of his
background, somewhere.  At this point," Fandil said, suddenly exasperated, "I can't
even prove that he's Frastfan!"
     "Or that he's ill-intentioned," Lenpro added, scowling.  "He could just be
really stupid when it comes to running a government."
     "Or the front man for a committee," Fandil agreed.
     Lenpro nodded but brushed the issue aside.  "Same thing.  That isn't one of the
core questions.  Later, it might be important, but first," he paused to make sure he
had Fandil's full attention, "the first question is, Do we believe that the true and
proper king of Andoria is doing his proper job?"
     The two managers locked eyes over the scarred table.  "No," they said
     "Okay, second question, is there anything we can do to bring the king back to
the point of doing that job?"  He waved one hand casually.  "Setting aside the matter
of whether or not we can get at the king.  IF we can reach the king, do we believe he
can be gotten back on the job?"
     A silence.  A long silence.  The clock against the guildhouse wall ticked,
chimed, struck the hour, ticked on.  Finally Fandil sighed.  "No," he said again.
"Not according to the little I've heard."
     Lenpro nodded again.  "Third question:  Does the king have recognized heirs?"
     "No.  No one that any person has seen or heard of in years.  The rumors..." the
old mage shrugged, "they're said to have vanished from the Isle, probably into some
other dimension.  Regardless, they're gone."
     "Right, so we're talking about establishing a new royal line, or trying for some
other form of government, but at the least, we're talking a rebellion."
     "If there's effectively no king--"
     "There's a bureaucracy, inefficient and corrupt as it is, which is the
acknowledged legal channel of government," Lenpro said.  "You think they're going to
smile and say, 'Oh, what a good idea, we're behind you all the way!'?  I don't.
They'll fight."
     "No army to speak of."
     "Plenty of assassins, though."
     "I don't think one of the, ah, non-royal types of government would work in
Andoria at this time," Fandil said.  "I've seen them elsewhere, and people have to be
prepared before they can accept such an order and make it work.  But king-making...
that's tricky."
     Lenpro smiled, for the first time since the meeting had begun.  "We've got a
perfect candidate ready to hand," he said.  "The Fratsfan Emperor Alonj."

The Isle of the Eye:

     "I will never eat fish again," Senator Sedalia muttered from under the cover of
the tarp.
     "You won't need to," Gissanniah whispered back.  "You're going to have as much
trouble getting that smell out of your mustache as I will getting it of my hair."
     Sedalia's hand went automatically to his mustache, and he sighed.  It was limp
and untidy, in need of a wash, a trim, and fresh waxing.  "It's a sacrifice," he
agreed, "but a senator does what he must for his constituents."  He sighed
theatrically, teasing a smile out of his companion.  It was part of his duty, after
all, to keep her spirits up.  "How much longer will we have to lie here waiting, I
     Gissanniah raised her head just enough to peer through a crack in the side of
the cart.  "I don't see our driver anywhere," she said after a moment.  "At least, he
isn't on this side of the cart."
     Both gladiators listened for a moment to the sound of voices.  Too far away for
them to make out the words, their driver was talking to... someone.  Not guards, this
was no checkpoint, but someone.  Stung by a sudden surmise, Sedalia glanced across at
his companion.  Gissanniah was looking toward him, eyes widening with the same
     "He's betraying us," Sedalia said, certainty crystalizing as he said the words.
     "He promised he wouldn't tell any of the guards--"
     "He said nothing about not telling other people... who might carry word to the
guards.  Out, of here, now!  Your side is probably the less observed."
     "Right."  Gissanniah twitched up the tarp, peered out, then slid through the
smallest possible opening.  "Clear right now," she said.
     The senator followed.  Good so far.  The sides of the cart were so high that
whoever was talking on the other side could not see them, and it was only thirty feet
to the edge of the woods.  Sedalia didn't know why Lady Sheila had decreed that most
of the Isle was to be left wooded, but he was glad of it now.  The two of them walked
quietly on a straight line from the cart to the trees.  No one tried to stop them,
called out, no one appeared at all.
     Once they were under cover, Sedalia stopped and looked back.  "That was too
easy," he said.


     "Alonj?"  Fandil's eyebrows rose.  "I have always undestood that he is simple-
minded at best, possibly unstable."
     "You're out of touch," Lenpro said.  "Lady Fern has been back in Fratsfa for
some time now, and she's observed the government there closely.  She says that he's
'sane, steady, decent, and of at least normal intelligence'--her theory is that he
was manipulated by his regents and advisors to give the impression of incompetence."
     "And what's to stop them from being no better than the bureaucracy in Andor?"
     "His wife.  According to Lady Fern, the Empress Kitiara is... very firm, very
competent, very loyal, rather dangerous in her own right, and she's given Alonj three
children already--two sons and a daughter."


     Herlas d'Arenju frowned at the Chief Scribe.  "I don't know what you're playing
at, Hesselbod, but I don't like what I'm seeing and hearing.  A semblance of
normality--you said this yourself--is essential to maintaining order.  An increase in
taxes and an edict of conscription to double the size of the standing army is not
     The bureaucrat shrugged minimally, his face remaining blank.  "There are
increasing reports of trouble in the Karnhorn area," he said.  "That makes an
increase in the army and the taxes proper.  If we later end up using them for other
things, that's later."
     "Not very much later!"
     "The Aruaki have always been troublemakers," the scribe said.  "Allowing them to
settle here in the first place was the mistake.  I merely propose that it's time to
take corrective measures.  This five-step program should do what is needful.  First,
close the border of the Clanholds--"
     "Easy to say, hard to do," Herlas countered.  "Land and water both?  And what
     "You have described yourself as a magician," Hesselbod said.  "Prove it now.
Cage the beast-people as the first step in our campaign to exterminate them."

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  SOLVEN needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  MVP award for JILIAN 
NORMAN?  MIDDLE WAY 15's proud of her after beating TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE and getting 21 
points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  HOTL MUSCHEL's match with AMBITIOUS GUARD cost 
him a loss of 12 points!  This Duelmaster is like something else!  JEROME stopped 
DOLBY JOSSEL dead in his tracks!  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get 
nine hours sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  HOT WHEELS was SOLVEN's most 
avoided team.  Is there some award for that?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are 
KELLUMBO'S KIDS?  HOT WHEELS, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them 
to accept an invitation!   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  Like was that some Bloodfeud, or what?  
(CHUCKER ISTTA vs. LIPSTICK, that is.) What if they had a fight and nobody showed up? 
I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really 
should stop.  I had a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JEROME 6675                  18   2  0   137       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DONDRIC 6694                 11   3  1   100       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
 CHUCKER ISTTA 6619           19  33  0    97       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DOLBY JOSSEL 6614            18  27  0    90       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)
-365 GTB4 6054                11   8  0    90       HOT WHEELS (686)
 LIPSTICK 6686                10   6  3    86       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHAWLIE ISTTA 6688            9   8  1    40       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOTL MUSCHEL 6707             5   2  0    32       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JILIAN NORMAN 6711            1   0  0    21       MIDDLE WAY 15 (747)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BEAR 6709               0  1 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676  SPYMASTER             586  NONE
D RICH 6710             0  1 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 676  STONE GOLEM           586  NONE
IO OLDEND 6673         11 10 1 MIDDLE WAY 15 747    LIPSTICK 6686         585  JUST REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jackson -- I wave you farewell and turn quickly to fend off the jealous attacks of my
teammate Chucker.  Ouch!  Enjoy the Isle. -- Dolby Jossel

Dondric -- I just couldn't give you proper attention, what with being so bummed that
Jackson is leaving.  Why couldn't YOU leave, instead of her? -- Chucker Istta

Lipstick -- That was a surprise, though I'm not sure why.  You are a bloodthirsty
cat. -- Ghost of Io Oldend

A Visiting Orc?  I didn't invite him. -- Hotl Muschel

The Ambitious Guard's a joke.  (puffing up with pride)  Nowhere near as good as me.
-- Chawlie Istta

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

D RICH was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BEAR was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
JEROME savagely defeated DOLBY JOSSEL in a 2 minute expert's Title fight.
DONDRIC overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fight.
CHUCKER ISTTA unbelievably bested LIPSTICK in a exciting 3 minute mismatched fight.
CHAWLIE ISTTA was unbelievably bested by VISITING ORC in a 1 minute fight.
HOTL MUSCHEL was vanquished by AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute uneven fight.
JILIAN NORMAN vanquished TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         AIMED BLOW         3 -   0 -  0     100  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         LUNGING ATTACK    17 -   8 -  0      68  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  15 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  10 -  2      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    2 -   3 -  1      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         TOTAL PARRY        7 -  13 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   1 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 586 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   JEROME 6675                18   2  0  137 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
LUNGING ATTACK   DONDRIC 6694               11   3  1  100 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
SLASHING ATTACK  LIPSTICK 6686              10   6  3   86 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JEROME 6675.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
JEROME 6675.  The ten other most popular fighters were LIPSTICK 6686, CHAWLIE ISTTA 
6710, BEAR 6709, HOTL MUSCHEL 6707, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was HOTL MUSCHEL 6707.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BEAR 6709, D RICH 6710, JILIAN NORMAN 6711, CHUCKER ISTTA 6619, 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

JEROME (22-6675) KELLUMBO'S KIDS (676)