DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 10/16/2003    Duedate: 10/29/2003

ZORPUNT ARENA

DM-24    TURN-463

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CURTIS JOSEPH
THE MC5 (445)
(24-4384) [13-11-0,117]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CURTIS JOSEPH                  POSITION IS EMPTY
THE MC5 (445)                  
(24-4384) [13-11-0,117]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

TRISHA WINGFOOT                CONE SHELL
KRILL CAVALRY (403)            AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
(24-4330) [19-27-1,104]        (24-4422) [11-4-1,94]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BATTLEMANIA (71)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE MC5 (445)               35
2. WATER DECK (459)            30      THE MC5 (445)
3. KRILL CAVALRY (403)         16      Unchartered Team
4. BATTLEMANIA (71)            11
5. THE ASININE (272)           10      WATER DECK (459)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 4 THE MC5 (445)            100  87  9 53.5   1/ 1 BATTLEMANIA (71)          7  7 2
 2/ 2 THE ASININE (272)         89  79  8 53.0   2/ 3 THE ASININE (272)         7  8 1
 3/ 3 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      35  32  3 52.2   3/ 5 THE MC5 (445)             5  1 0
 4/ 5 BATTLEMANIA (71)         354 325 25 52.1   4/ 2 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      5  4 0
 5/ 6 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      363 355 12 50.6   5/ 4 KRILL CAVALRY (403)       4 11 1
 6/ 0*WATER DECK (459)           2   2  0 50.0   6/ 0*WATER DECK (459)          2  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "You look a lot bigger out here than you do in the arena," Penok commented,
frowning up at her companion.
     "I'm a Shew," Tellar Fleet said as though that was an explanation.  "Down this
alley."
     "What does the alley have to do with--"
     "No, the alley's where we turn.  I look as big as I am," the gladiator
explained.  "In the arena, I kind of hunch over, because the enrollment papers called
for a shorter warrior.  It's a nuisance, but it beats having no job."
     "If you say so."  She peered down the alley dubiously.  It was that kind of
alley.  "The konep's down here?"
     "Ummm...this is the way to it, anyway.  See that stable down at the end?"
     "That's a stable?  I thought it was a pile of rubble."
     "Which just shows how much bad luck a konep can be.  They're lots worse than
gremlins.  Gremlins just mess up mechanical things, wagons and windmills and stuff.
Koneps make buildings fall down, and cellars cave in, and bridges wash out, and
haystacks catch fire on their on, and all kinds of stuff like that.  Murphy--you
know, the guy that makes the Law?  He's the King of Koneps."
     Tellar turned aside before they reached the collapsed stable.  There was a
little patch of grass, a bench, a tree, and even a few flowers where the back walls
of a couple of warehouses didn't quite come together.  He laid down the basket he'd
been carrying.  The neck of a wine bottle peeked out from under the cover, and Penok
could smell fresh-baked bread.
     "Let's sit here," he suggested, and see if konep spelled backward is really
good...."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): ABYSS of PHANTOM FORCES 2 (The Catalyst, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 473): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 466): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 462): CANE TOAD of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 462): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 463): SAPPER of SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 459): GAZELLE HOUND of DOG DAY AFTERNOON (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 424): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 410): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 183): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): RAZORTOOTHROTEY of TOMATO ENFORCER (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 358): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS from ARUAK CITY
                            (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 473): THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 466): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 462): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 462): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 463): WARCKERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 459): GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 424): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 410): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 183): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): POWER BROKERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 358): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 235): ODDJOB of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
                               SUMTHING PAINFUL of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
                   (turn 472): VAJRA VALMEJAR of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 465): ROBERT BORK of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 423): KING LOVE of SUNNYLAND (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 417): FOOTSORE of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                          PUTZ'N ALONG of JOKA MASHER! (Sultan, mgr.)
                          BIGGLES of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 312): RAZORTOOTHROTEY of TOMATO ENFORCER (THawk, mgr.)
                 (turn 311): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
                             XINGARA of THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 137): SHADOW HAWK of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ZORPUNT?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Middle of the road, WATER DECK, middle 
of the road; you'll get no good words from me, until you get better, or worse.  Break 
a leg.  Tsk, tsk, DAMNATION beat TOMBO LARK and TOMBO LARK lost 8 points.  You're 
breakin' my heart.  CURTIS JOSEPH challenged ZORPUNT's Duelmaster for a shot at the 
throne.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as CURTIS JOSEPH takes the Title 
and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and bribes, 
kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their fights?  
Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
ZORPUNT, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  THE ASININE the most avoided 
team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And who led the way in this mass act 
of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was BATTLEMANIA.  Ha ha ha ha!  
Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, TELLAR FLEET was this turn's most challenged warrior. 
Watch that ego swell, sports fans.  And we have SPANKYTIME in a challenge, going down 
8 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought SPANKYTIME showed great skill and 
promise when it killed TELLAR FLEET.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Let's see, 7-3-1.  Pretty good record for 
a living warrior.  A sad one though, for a dead one.  Such is the case for 
FLESHHARROWER of THE ASININE.  Tsk.  Ya gotta go sometime, and TELLAR FLEET's time 
was this time.  Hmmm, not a bad fighter, had he lived... (what?  me pity?).  Nipped 
in the bud, you might say, was OLD MAN WINTER of BATTLEMANIA this turn.  Course, I 
wouldn't say that, so much as have a belly laugh.  Heh heh.  Titanium shields and 
bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     There's got to be a better place in ZORPUNT to get a drink than The Welcome 
Wench!  Any suggestions?  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before I leave the fine city 
of ZORPUNT.  I feel much better now.  Paste this one in your scrapbooks, you'll need 
the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CURTIS JOSEPH 4384           13  11  0   117       THE MC5 (445)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SLIM SHADY 4370              13  12  0   117       THE MC5 (445)
 KID ROCK 4340                22  15  0   105       THE MC5 (445)
 TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330         19  27  1   104       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 CONE SHELL 4422              11   4  1    94       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CANE TOAD 4425                9   6  0    91       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TAZZY TIGER 4423              8   7  0    90       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPANKYTIME 4446               8   3  2    66       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 RICH CRANIUM 4464             8   1  0    60       THE ASININE (272)
 DEHUMANIZER 4461              6   4  1    59       THE ASININE (272)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PENOK 4445                    5   6  1    33       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 ORESTES 4471                  4   3  0    33       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 DAMNATION 4492                2   0  1    27       THE ASININE (272)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JESSIE JUNE 4466              5   5  0    23       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
-EASTERN BROWN 4424            4   7  2    21       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 GEORGE CLINTON 4470           3   3  1    19       THE MC5 (445)
 TOMBO LARK 4488               3   2  0    11       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 GYRADOS 4476                  1   0  0    10       WATER DECK (459)
 CROCONAW 4475                 1   0  0    10       WATER DECK (459)
 IGGY POP 4469                 0   6  0     6       THE MC5 (445)
 PERDITION 4500                0   1  0     1       THE ASININE (272)
 HALEY STORMRIDER 4501         0   1  0     1       KRILL CAVALRY (403)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FLESHHARROWER 4462     7  3 1 THE ASININE 272       TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330  463         
AIMER 4427             7  3 0 THE ASININE 272       PENOK 4445            461 JUST REV
OLD MAN WINTER 4467    5  3 0 BATTLEMANIA 71        AMBITIOUS GUARD 401   463 NONE    
TELLAR FLEET 4415     10  6 1 KRILL CAVALRY 403     SPANKYTIME 4446       463         
TESSELA RYDER 4490     1  2 0 KRILL CAVALRY 403     DAMNATION 4492        462         
LAND LUBBER 4472       0  1 0 WATER DECK 459        HIGH ELF 411          463 NONE    
BRIDGE 4473            0  1 0 WATER DECK 459        BLACK ORC 412         463 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Fleshharrower -- Man, I almost had you, dangerously stunned and all.  Just then I
remember being distracted wondering if I'd left the candle burning by the bed and I
let my chance slip away.  Then there was that sneaky elbow shot of yours....  Sure
was a fun fight! -- Penok

Tricky Dick -- Dude, clean that longsword!  You gave me a nasty infection on my arm
that almost killed me after the fight.  Have you no decency? -- Spankytime

Tessela Ryder -- Ah, then you know of my tale.  But I must protest that my evil
mother deserved to die and it was Apollo himself who told me to kill her.  <shudder>
I must think of something else lest my madness set itself upon me once again.... --
Orestes

Tellar Fleet -- Great.  I'll be round your place as soon as those 'stupid guys', or
whatever they're called, let me loose. -- Penok

Jessie June -- Icicles sure are sharp, aren't they? -- Old Man Winter

Cone Shell -- Actually, you're rather boring.  A golem, after all, and then that
conical shape--dull.  So regular. -- Trisha Wingfoot

     Just don't step on it.  Things'll get exciting then. -- Ed.

Orestes -- (with dignity)  I may be pathetic, but I don't boink my mother. -- Tellar
Fleet

Old Man Winter -- I forgot my sweater.  Drat. -- Jessie June

Aha!  *I* get a win.  I like that. -- Tombo Lark
P.S.  So he's a convicted thief.  A win is a win.

Damnation -- I lay upon you the curse that whatever you say, no one will believe you.
I lay on you the curse that whatever you set out to do, the reverse will happen, or
your desired end will be achieved by another.  I lay on you the curse that all your
kittens will be female and they will be born pregnant.  I lay on you the curse that
whatever you are holding will always fall butter side down.  I lay on you the curse
that whatever horse you bet on will fall coming out of the gate, and that the least
likely nag in the race will win. -- Ghost of Tessela Ryder
P.S.  I'll think up some, some really GOOD ones, for next time.

Spankytime -- That's very true, and they won't say nice things, either.  Come on over
to the guildhouse and we can plot a strategy to take the eyes of Zorpunt (all five of
them) off us. -- Jessie June

Old Man Winter -- Well, gods, you didn't think I'd just stand there and let you hurt
me more when it was clear you intended to win regardless, did you? -- Tombo Lark

Orestes -- Because you are clumsy? -- Ghost of Tessela Ryder

29 September 2003
All -- Let it be known that the Firm accepts SOL into its ranks.  The Firm is:
SunGod, Dark Spirit, Youngblood, Tripwire, and SOL.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LAND LUBBER was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BRIDGE was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DEHUMANIZER subdued PENOK in a 1 minute Bloodfeud melee.
CURTIS JOSEPH demolished CANE TOAD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title fight.
FLESHHARROWER was viciously butchered by TRISHA WINGFOOT in a 2 minute fight.
RICH CRANIUM was devastated by TAZZY TIGER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
SPANKYTIME assassinated TELLAR FLEET in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
DAMNATION handily defeated TOMBO LARK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
CONE SHELL was unbelievably bested by KID ROCK in a action packed 4 minute duel.
ORESTES was outlasted by THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a dull 12 minute duel.
OLD MAN WINTER was narrowly killed by AMBITIOUS GUARD in a exciting 1 minute fight.
JESSIE JUNE viciously subdued IGGY POP in a popular 5 minute brutal bout.
GEORGE CLINTON demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
GYRADOS devastated HALEY STORMRIDER in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
CROCONAW devastated PERDITION in a 1 minute bloody mismatched bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         LUNGING ATTACK    45 -  17 -  5      73  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         TOTAL PARRY       18 -  10 -  1      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   7 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -  15 -  1      38  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         9 -  15 -  1      38  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  20 -  0      29  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  12 -  0       8  |

Turn 463 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      CURTIS JOSEPH 4384         13  11  0  117 THE MC5 (445)
LUNGING ATTACK   CONE SHELL 4422            11   4  1   94 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
STRIKING ATTACK  CANE TOAD 4425              9   6  0   91 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
SLASHING ATTACK  TAZZY TIGER 4423            8   7  0   90 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CONE SHELL 4422.  The ten other most popular fighters were JESSIE JUNE 4466, 
TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330, CURTIS JOSEPH 4384, FLESHHARROWER 4462, KID ROCK 4340, OLD MAN 
WINTER 4467, DEHUMANIZER 4461, CANE TOAD 4425, TAZZY TIGER 4423, and SPANKYTIME 4446.

The least popular fighter this week was ORESTES 4471.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PERDITION 4500, HALEY STORMRIDER 4501, TOMBO LARK 4488, TELLAR FLEET 
4415, RICH CRANIUM 4464, LAND LUBBER 4472, GEORGE CLINTON 4470, IGGY POP 4469, PENOK 
4445, and BRIDGE 4473.

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

     For those of you who keep track of such things, 18 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament:

                          CAFFEINE JUNKIE (3-6110) ADDICTED 
                        CATFISH HUNTER (5-3315) PARTY ANIMALS 
                          MATTAHOOPLE (16-4203) GIFTED GODS 
                         SWEET JANE (53-6535) THE DARK TEMPLE 
                              LIL NOIR (62-3311) ENIGMA 
                         NARCISSISTIC NUN (69-8644) ODD SQUAD 
                             LEGION '8' (71-2369) D.O.A. 
                       RAW SEX APPEAL (82-1331) WHY WE LOVE TUM 
                         ZOMBIE STOMP (82-2617) NO MORE TEARS 
                        VIOLENT VOLE (82-4565) MAMMAL MILITIA 
                         LADY OF THE MOON (82-5481) HARM NONE 
                      KAMIKAZI GNAT (82-6073) DEADLY ATTACKS II 
                      THE 13TH WARRIOR (82-6346) STOOPID MOVIES 
                              SIRTON (82-9190) I AM SUCK 
                            DUNE (82-10414) 4-LETTER EPICS 
                           FLEM (82-12614) 4-LETTER FLUIDS 
                     GREENHOUSE EFFECT (82-12996) GLOBAL WARMING 
                         UGLY (82-14501) 4-LETTER DESCRIPTION 

                                          -- Green Eyes