Date   : 11/27/2003    Duedate: 12/10/2003


DM-24    TURN-466

This Weeks Top Honors


(24-4422) [14-4-1,128]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CURTIS JOSEPH                  GYRADOS
THE MC5 (445)                  WATER DECK (459)
(24-4384) [15-11-0,134]        (24-4476) [4-0-0,46]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KRILL CAVALRY (403)            AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
(24-4330) [19-30-1,88]         (24-4422) [14-4-1,128]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BATTLEMANIA (71)            22
2. WATER DECK (459)            21      THE MC5 (445)
3. PHISH 5! (463)              18      Unchartered Team
4. KRILL CAVALRY (403)         13
5. AUSSIE KILLERS (455)         1      PHISH 5! (463)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*PHISH 5! (463)             1   0  0  100   1/ 3 BATTLEMANIA (71)          7  7 0
 2/ 2 THE MC5 (445)            106  93  9 53.3   2/ 4 KRILL CAVALRY (403)       7  8 0
 3/ 4 BATTLEMANIA (71)         361 332 25 52.1   3/ 1 THE MC5 (445)             6  6 0
 4/ 5 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      39  38  3 50.6   4/ 2*WATER DECK (459)          5  6 0
 5/ 6 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      370 363 12 50.5   5/ 5 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      4  6 0
 6/ 1*WATER DECK (459)           7   8  0 46.7   6/ 0*PHISH 5! (463)            1  0 0
 7/ 0*ADAM'S ARSENAL (457)       0   1  0  0.0   7/ 0*ADAM'S ARSENAL (457)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #19 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The Lord Dankilvan had given them temporary quarters in his mansion.  A suite
among the servants, but that was okay, the decor was less overpowering.
     Berdan looked around at the nearly plain hangings that covered the walls of the
central room in the suite and scowled.  "I don't like this," the ex-assassin growled.
"Sequestering us!  This Dankilvan is up to something."
     Raoul shrugged, took off his hat and looked at it, then put it back again.  The
gesture didn't mean anything, but it gave him time to think about his answer without
being rude.  And he was really tempted to be rude.  Berdan was repeating himself.
And the gladiator was getting tired of repeating his answer.  But one more time...
maybe it would get through this time.  "Lord Dankilvan is trying to keep Skaithvarn
out of Alastarian politics.  Can't blame him for that!  We don't want that
entanglement, either."
     "He's sending a Delarquan spy with us--"
     "A Delarquan gladiator who may or may not be a spy.  So?"
     "She'll be a spy.  Everything we do will be reported to this--"
     "Are you planning to do something you want to hide?" Jeri Northwind asked.
     Berdan jumped a little, having forgotten that she was there.  "No, but--"
     "Then it isn't a problem.  In fact," she exchanged a glance with Raoul, who
nodded slightly, "in fact, it's a good thing.  It means the S'varni won't have to
worry about what we might be up to, because they'll know what we ARE up to."
     "Right, doll.  And besides, better the spy we know and can see than one we
don't.  Surely you realize that, Berdan?"
     The ex-assassin sighed and shrugged.  "I suppose so."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene turned out to be an elf.  A southern elf, a dark-skinned Shagornan
elf, an elf of the kind deeply distrusted by the northern elves who figured in the
ancestry of all Fratsfan nobles.
     Berdan refused to have anything to do with her.  "And how Dankilvan, himself of
the High Blood, could actually employ her, trust her--!"  He stormed around their
sitting room, not quite throwing things but looking as though he wanted to.
     Hallie O'Dene watched quietly, showing no offense, nor any other reaction except
mild interest.  Leaning just a little toward Jeri, she asked, "Does he have a strong
heart?  Because he's a prime candidate for apoplexy right now."
     Jeri put a hand over her mouth to hold back a snort of laughter.  "I don't know
him that well," she admitted, "but fortunately, we can do this without him if we have
     The Delarquan's eyebrows rose.  "You think he might abandon the mission just to
avoid working with me?"
     "He might, doll," Raoul said, coming to sit between the two of them on the
room's long couch as Berdan continued to rage up and down the room, cursing Hallie,
Raoul and Jeri, Peranis, Dankilvan, and other people they'd never heard of
comprehensively and bitterly.  "That doesn't worry me so much as that he might quit
us and try to go on without us--go into competition with us over it.  How much can we
trust him?  The man used to be a spy and an assassin, after all."
     "Well, it's as good as a play," Hallie said, "but Lord Dankilvan wants us to get
ON with things.  Maybe we should try to stop him?"
     Raoul shook his head.  "He's got to get through it, doll.  But maybe we should
get on with it ourselves.  Jeri and I are ready to go--we didn't unpack when we got
     "Leave Berdan to follow when he calms down?" Jeri asked.
     "Or go back to Andor, if that's what he wants to do."  Raoul shrugged.  He
glanced at Jeri, who jumped up and grabbed a backpack.
     "I'm ready," she said.  As soon as Raoul and Hallie had picked up their packs,
she added, "What's the matter with this Leemith place that Lord Dankilvan mentioned?
He didn't seem to like them at all."
     Hallie led the way out the door.  "I've got horses waiting for us," she said.
"The Leemin, well, they're all vampires.  Generally good neighbors, but still, you
just don't trust a town full of vampires, do you?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): MONKEY WRENCH of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): BARNEE of THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): ANASTASIA of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): BLACK CAT of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): GORDIAN of WHY KNOT (Clove-Hitch, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): I'M WITH STUPID (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): HUSHPUPPY of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                   (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
                           EDWIN MEESE of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
                           HOW--LITE of ROCK ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.)
               (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
                            SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            PYROTECHNICIAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): THE LIMELIGHT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ZORPUNT?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Later days, THE MC5, since BATTLEMANIA 
took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  CONE SHELL challenged 
ZORPUNT's Duelmaster for a shot at the throne.  And it's out with the old, in with 
the new, as CONE SHELL takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you 
think some of these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  THE ASININE was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  
Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was BATTLEMANIA.  Ha ha ha ha!  CURTIS JOSEPH was 
challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or 
feared?  Heh, heh.  I suspect either a 21 will or a 21 ego on this one, but CANE TOAD 
has challenged up by 29 in an attempt against CURTIS JOSEPH.  And, oof!  CANE TOAD 
saw stars around his helmet, after losing the fight, and disappointing the crowds, I 
might add.  I guess I can give a little credit to GYRADOS of WATER DECK for 
challenging up by 22 to PENOK.  GYRADOS won to get 46 points of recognition.   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for ZORPUNT's 
morgue.  More variety.  Three down, and one turn to go for THE ASININE to call in the 
bloodfeud against TRISHA WINGFOOT, else FLESHHARROWER is but small history.  We're 
all going to die in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that 
     There's got to be a better place in ZORPUNT to get a drink than The Swinging 
Aardvark!  Any suggestions?  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before I leave the fine 
city of ZORPUNT.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONE SHELL 4422              14   4  1   128       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CURTIS JOSEPH 4384           15  11  0   134       THE MC5 (445)
 SLIM SHADY 4370              15  13  0   106       THE MC5 (445)
 KID ROCK 4340                24  16  0    98       THE MC5 (445)
 TAZZY TIGER 4423              9   9  0    95       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330         19  30  1    88       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 SPANKYTIME 4446              10   4  2    87       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 CANE TOAD 4425                9   9  0    87       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GYRADOS 4476                  4   0  0    46       WATER DECK (459)
 PENOK 4445                    7   7  1    35       BATTLEMANIA (71)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOMBO LARK 4488               5   3  0    33       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 JESSIE JUNE 4466              7   6  0    31       KRILL CAVALRY (403)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORESTES 4471                  5   5  0    20       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 PEDRO DE SADE 4499            2   1  0    20       BATTLEMANIA (71)
 CROCONAW 4475                 3   1  0    18       WATER DECK (459)
 HALEY STORMRIDER 4501         2   2  0    18       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 MOLLY MERMAID 4509            1   0  0    18       PHISH 5! (463)
 GEORGE CLINTON 4470           3   6  1    16       THE MC5 (445)
-IGGY POP 4469                 0   7  0     7       THE MC5 (445)
 TELLER FLETE 4510             1   2  0     5       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 OLD HORNINGTON 4450           0   1  0     1       ADAM'S ARSENAL (457)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DA23 4513              0  1 0 BATTLEMANIA 71        ARENAMASTER KAI 415   466 NONE    
TELLAR FLEET 4415     10  6 1 KRILL CAVALRY 403     SPANKYTIME 4446       463         
TESSELA RYDER 4490     1  2 0 KRILL CAVALRY 403     DAMNATION 4492        462 NOT REVE
TRAP MASTER 4514       0  1 0 WATER DECK 459        DARK CHAMPION 416     466 NONE    
KAKUNA 4474            0  1 0 WATER DECK 459        STONE GOLEM 418       466 NONE    
WILLY 4503             0  1 0 WATER DECK 459        SPYMASTER 414         466 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jessie June -- Huh?  I fear you have confused me with some other poor soul.  My
sister, Electra, feared dead for some time, was happily found to be living as
priestess of Artemis for the natives of Tauris. -- Orestes

Cone Shell -- I am quite stunned at your speed.  Your armor, your weapon, only 4 more
fights than me and yet I never had a chance to swing.  I was the one spanked there!
-- Spankytime

Gyrados -- You learn well and cut nicely.  I think I'm going to like you. -- PdS

Kid Rock -- Cat got your tongue? -- Spankytime

George Clinton -- Those 10 skills I learned at the tourney made it a bit easier to
beat you the second time around, didn't they?  Thanks for adding to the total! --

Haley Stormrider -- Nah, us water types don't get dizzy.  We're used to going round
and round and round -- Gyrados
P.S.  And round if need be....

Out of curiosity...do any of you know the genesis of our fighting monikers? -- Water

Slim Shady -- The CROWD was insulting?  What do you think YOU were, trying to bury me
in the sand?  You knock me down, stab me THREE times while I'm down there, and I'm
badly hurt and gravely injured BOTH, and then you try to BURY ME IN THE SAND?  This
is NOT the act of a gentleman, let me tell you that! -- Trisha Wingfoot the Very

Iggy Pop -- I love the way you pop when I jab you!  If we can get a rhythm going,
it'll be like music, won't it? -- Jessie June

Ha!  I can see the truth here!  The Beggar was so Persistent because he suspected he
was coming down with the pneumonia--always a risk at this season, of course, and
especially for beggars--and he wanted the "several days of bedrest" and the free
medical treatment.  THAT is why he was in the arena at all.  Just a fancy begging
trick is what it was. -- Tombo Lark

I feel very strongly on the subject of theft, you see.  So naturally I was harsh with
the Convicted Thief.  It was a matter of principle. -- Haley Stormrider

I really would have liked to kill the Embezzling Scribe, you know?  He's just a
white-collar kind of thief, the kind that think they can get away with anything,
because people will refuse to prosecute for fear of looking bad.  Well, HA.  Put 'em
in the arena and they'll get their just deserts. -- Teller Flete
P.S.  Besides, I liked winning.
P.P.S.  Shewish MIDGET?  I beg your pardon!  I am Shewish, right enough, but I'm no
MIDGET!  I had to hunch down to get this arena slot--had to have it so I could be
near Penok--and I'm really much taller than I look in the arena.  Not only that, I'm
young still, and I haven't gotten my full growth.

"Everyone wants a piece of me"?  I resent that!  The implications of that phrasing

are GROSSLY UNTRUE, but it will take me MONTHS to erase them from the minds of the
low-lifes who hang around the arena.  Who will join me in beating the Unknown
Spymaster within an inch of his miserable life? -- Trisha Wingfoot

Penok -- Why are you so cold to me? -- Teller Flete

Pedro De Sade -- I'm above that.  Revenge and ALL negative feelings add many lives to
one's karma, or something like that.  I don't think I've got the details completely
clear yet. -- Teller Flete

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003
All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TRAP MASTER was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DA23 was butchered by ARENAMASTER KAI in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
KAKUNA was easily killed by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute gory Dark Arena match.
WILLY was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
SLIM SHADY bested TAZZY TIGER in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
CANE TOAD was overpowered by CURTIS JOSEPH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
CONE SHELL viciously subdued KID ROCK in a popular 6 minute Challenge Title duel.
SPANKYTIME beat TRISHA WINGFOOT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl.
GYRADOS defeated PENOK in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee.
PEDRO DE SADE vanquished GEORGE CLINTON in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CROCONAW was overpowered by TOMBO LARK in a 1 minute uneven duel.
JESSIE JUNE defeated ORESTES in a 4 minute brutal fight.
HALEY STORMRIDER overcame OLD HORNINGTON in a exciting 3 minute novice's bout.
TELLER FLETE was demolished by MOLLY MERMAID in a 1 minute mismatched competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         LUNGING ATTACK    44 -  20 -  4      69  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         TOTAL PARRY       15 -   8 -  0      65  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  12 -  0      45  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK    6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  14 -  1      42  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         AIMED BLOW         8 -  12 -  1      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         WALL OF STEEL      4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  18 -  0      28  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   7 -  0      13  |

Turn 466 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  4         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   CONE SHELL 4422            14   4  1  128 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
TOTAL PARRY      CURTIS JOSEPH 4384         15  11  0  134 THE MC5 (445)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TRISHA WINGFOOT 4330.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CONE SHELL 4422.  The ten other most popular fighters were HALEY STORMRIDER 
4501, SLIM SHADY 4370, SPANKYTIME 4446, GYRADOS 4476, TOMBO LARK 4488, KAKUNA 4474, 

The least popular fighter this week was TELLER FLETE 4510.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ORESTES 4471, CROCONAW 4475, GEORGE CLINTON 4470, CANE TOAD 
4330, and CURTIS JOSEPH 4384.