Date   : 03/03/2005    Duedate: 03/16/2005


DM-24    TURN-499

This Weeks Top Honors


(24-4489) [20-9-0,89]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STONEFISH                      DALE
(24-4489) [20-9-0,89]          (24-3458) [5-1-0,30]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PINE LEAF                      TRINA LARK
KRILL CAVALRY (403)            KRILL CAVALRY (403)
(24-4580) [12-13-0,53]         (24-4615) [5-5-0,22]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LOOK OUT!! (460)            40
2. AUSSIE KILLERS (455)        32      STAR DRECK (467)
3. RESCUE RANGERS (342)         9      Unchartered Team
4. STAR DRECK (467)             2
5. DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)     0      RESCUE RANGERS (342)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 STAR DRECK (467)           9   1  0 90.0   1/ 2 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      8  3 0
 2/ 0*RESCUE RANGERS (342)       9   3  0 75.0   2/ 1 KRILL CAVALRY (403)       8  7 0
 3/ 0*LOOK OUT!! (460)           8   6  1 57.1   3/ 3 STAR DRECK (467)          3  0 0
 4/ 2 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      96  78  4 55.2   4/ 0*LOOK OUT!! (460)          3  2 1
 5/ 3 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      443 454 12 49.4   5/ 0*RESCUE RANGERS (342)      1  0 0
 6- 4*DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)   1   2  0 33.3   6- 4*DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)  1  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): CHAOS WARRIOR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): I WET MY BED! of I BENT MY WOOKIE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): ANTHONY SCALIA of CONSPIRACY INC. (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): STONEFISH of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): TRIMOX of OSCO INTOXICATORS (Osco, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): PINK of SEEING RED (Edge, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): ADMIRAL ISO of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): BORIS KARLOFF of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GREW SOME GRUE of OLD SCHOOL (Otto X. Frothingslosh)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): BEXLEY of OHIO (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): THE-SHOCKER of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): SELAUNAH of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): DEADPOOL of X-FORCE from TARRGIR (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): none
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): THE POISON CLAN (Master Tazo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): MADTOWN (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 253): L'ORC BLEU of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 508): STRONGBOW of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): SNAKE CHARMER of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
                           BLIND ILLUSION of MEDIEVAL CHAOS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 459): PISTON HURRICANE of AS FAR AS SIAM (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                             CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 346): PASSER BY of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             WHIPSNADE of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             DASKINOR of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ZORPUNT?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Later days, KRILL CAVALRY, since AUSSIE 
KILLERS took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  And if variety is 
the spice of life, ZORPUNT may be getting bland, as STONEFISH stays top dog in the 
city.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of 
these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
KRILL CAVALRY, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided 
team.  Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And it looks like STAR DRECK 
avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  
Hmph.  PINE LEAF was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was 
the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to KING 
SNAKE won to get 22 points of recognition.  And we have JAMES T. JERK in a challenge, 
going down 14 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought JAMES T. JERK showed 
great skill and promise when he defeated PINE LEAF.  All right, so I slept through 
it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave 
team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     There's got to be a better place in ZORPUNT to get a drink than The Dripping 
Blade!  Any suggestions?  Well, I've had enough of this drivel, and I'm sure you have 
too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see the crowds are getting 
restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STONEFISH 4489               20   9  0    89       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JOE POOLE 4534               15  12  0    73       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 JAMES T. JERK 4590            9   1  0    68       STAR DRECK (467)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MONTY 3455                    4   1  0    60       RESCUE RANGERS (342)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGER SHARK 4575              5   4  0    55       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 PINE LEAF 4580               12  13  0    53       KRILL CAVALRY (403)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DALE 3458                     5   1  0    30       RESCUE RANGERS (342)
 OOZING SORE 4482              3   0  1    24       LOOK OUT!! (460)
 BILL POOLE 4634               3   0  0    24       KRILL CAVALRY (403)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TRINA LARK 4615               5   5  0    22       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 KING BROWN SNAKE 4635         2   0  0    22       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 HERPES 4479                   2   1  0    17       LOOK OUT!! (460)
 BUBBA JONES 4621              4   3  0    15       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 POOP SLINGER 4478             1   2  0    15       LOOK OUT!! (460)
-NEON'S SON LAMONT 4633        1   0  0    15       DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)
 EX-GIRLFRIEND 4618            1   0  0    13       LOOK OUT!! (460)
-DOC'S ROLL-UP STACK 4632      0   1  0     7       DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)
-DOOMCORPS REUNION 4629        0   1  0     7       DIRTY LIL' SECRETS (471)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
PERSISTENT BEGGAR 396  0  1 0   1                   OOZING SORE 4482      499 NONE    
TAIPAN 4583            1  7 0 AUSSIE KILLERS 455    STONE GOLEM 418       499 NONE    
AMISH NINJA 4619       1  1 0 LOOK OUT!! 460        SPYMASTER 414         499 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

James T. Jerk -- Ah.  (nods wisely)  I see how it is.  Once a jerk, always a jerk.
Such is life. -- Pine Leaf

Taipan -- Not to sound critical or unfriendly or anything, but what is it you kill?
Paralyzed rabbits?  Your record is so bad, you should be one of us.  Can you ride a
horse? -- Bubba Jones

Convicted Assassin -- You're a Fratsfan?  I thought you guys, Fratsfans, not
assassins, were supposed to be noble, high-minded types.  So what's with the
assassination business, eh?  Not in character. -- Joe Poole

Tiger Shark -- Ah!  That's a cross between a predatory fish and a were-cat?  Makes
sense to me.  As much as anything does, anyway. -- Trina Lark

Doc's Roll-Up Stack -- There's SOME kind of dirty secret there.  That's a twenty
character name and an eighteen character team, and you don't fit our lists!  Stop
doing that! -- Bill Poole

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TAIPAN was viciously butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 4 minute Dark Arena fight.
AMISH NINJA was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
JAMES T. JERK savagely defeated PINE LEAF in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge duel.
KING BROWN SNAKE luckily beat BUBBA JONES in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
STONEFISH bested JOE POOLE in a 4 minute expert's Title brawl.
TIGER SHARK overpowered CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute bloody one-sided struggle.
TRINA LARK was overcome by DALE in a action packed 6 minute gruesome fight.
POOP SLINGER was vanquished by BILL POOLE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HERPES luckily beat EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 2 minute beginner's duel.
OOZING SORE slew PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute novice's fight.
EX-GIRLFRIEND handily defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -   3 -  1      83  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         TOTAL PARRY       14 -   7 -  0      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK    12 -   6 -  1      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   3 -  0      63  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW         4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  13 -  0      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         STRIKING ATTACK    3 -   7 -  1      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 499 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         3  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      STONEFISH 4489             20   9  0   89 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
WALL OF STEEL    JOE POOLE 4534             15  12  0   73 KRILL CAVALRY (403)
LUNGING ATTACK   JAMES T. JERK 4590          9   1  0   68 STAR DRECK (467)
BASHING ATTACK   TIGER SHARK 4575            5   4  0   55 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is PINE LEAF 4580.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TAIPAN 4583.  The ten other most popular fighters were TRINA LARK 4615, JAMES T. 

The least popular fighter this week was POOP SLINGER 4478.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were STONEFISH 4489, PINE LEAF 4580, DALE 3458, AMISH NINJA 4619, 
and BUBBA JONES 4621.