Date   : 03/31/2005    Duedate: 04/13/2005


DM-24    TURN-501

This Weeks Top Honors


(24-4489) [22-9-0,94]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STONEFISH                      DALE
(24-4489) [22-9-0,94]          (24-3458) [6-2-0,34]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PINE LEAF                      BUBBA JONES
KRILL CAVALRY (403)            KRILL CAVALRY (403)
(24-4580) [14-13-0,67]         (24-4621) [4-5-0,19]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KRILL CAVALRY (403)         12
2. RESCUE RANGERS (342)         8      STAR DRECK (467)
3. AUSSIE KILLERS (455)         6      Unchartered Team
4. STAR DRECK (467)             3
5. LOOK OUT!! (460)             0      RESCUE RANGERS (342)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 STAR DRECK (467)          11   1  0 91.7   1/ 1 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      9  5 0
 2/ 3*RESCUE RANGERS (342)      11   5  0 68.8   2- 2*LOOK OUT!! (460)          6  2 1
 3- 2*LOOK OUT!! (460)          11   6  1 64.7   3/ 3 KRILL CAVALRY (403)       4 11 0
 4/ 4 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)     102  82  4 55.4   4/ 4 STAR DRECK (467)          3  0 0
 5/ 5 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      446 461 12 49.2   5/ 5*RESCUE RANGERS (342)      3  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for PINE LEAF, who flew up 7 points in the rankings after mashing TIGER 
SHARK like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to 
walk out on the sands.  TIGER SHARK was subdued by PINE LEAF and drops 4 points.  Our 
battling duelmaster STONEFISH has managed to hold the title, fending off VETERAN 
MERCENARY's none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, ZORPUNT.  Can you 
believe they are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the ZORPUNT arena.  Did you 
hear that RESCUE RANGERS was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal 
hygiene of RESCUE RANGERS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of you who like 
math, try this one:  RESCUE RANGERS + Weapons That go Boom = STAR DRECK + Avoid City. 
Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, JOE POOLE would be president.  
Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  JAMES T. JERK of STAR DRECK had 
better have a good reason for challenging down 14 points in a challenge which he won. 
I thought JAMES T. JERK showed great skill and promise when he beat JOE POOLE.  All 
right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and 
take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  And remember, you can pick your 
friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STONEFISH 4489               22   9  0    94       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JAMES T. JERK 4590           11   1  0    84       STAR DRECK (467)
 JOE POOLE 4534               15  14  0    69       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 PINE LEAF 4580               14  13  0    67       KRILL CAVALRY (403)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MONTY 3455                    4   1  0    60       RESCUE RANGERS (342)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGER SHARK 4575              6   5  0    55       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
-OOZING SORE 4482              4   0  1    43       LOOK OUT!! (460)
 DALE 3458                     6   2  0    34       RESCUE RANGERS (342)
 KING BROWN SNAKE 4635         4   0  0    34       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TRINA LARK 4615               6   6  0    24       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
-HERPES 4479                   3   1  0    24       LOOK OUT!! (460)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POOP SLINGER 4478             2   2  0    22       LOOK OUT!! (460)
 BILL POOLE 4634               3   2  0    20       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 BUBBA JONES 4621              4   5  0    19       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
-EX-GIRLFRIEND 4618            1   0  0    13       LOOK OUT!! (460)
 ZIPPER 3459                   1   1  0     8       RESCUE RANGERS (342)
 DEATH ADDER 4582              1   1  0     8       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 BOX JELLYFISH 4641            0   2  0     2       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

James T. Jerk -- Have you considered writing personals and thus fully confirming your
right to that name? -- Joe Poole

Dale -- Your problem, I suspect, is that you have so many clones extant at this time
that it drains off some of your vitality. -- Pine Leaf

Poop Slinger -- Gods, couldn't you housetrain that beast? -- Bubba Jones

King Brown Snake -- You know why excitement spread amongst the stands, don't you?
Because the fans saw all your little namesakes spreading up there, and they freaked.
-- Trina Lark
P.S.  I would've, too.

Tiger Shark -- I can TOO kill a houseplant, even a geranium! -- Bill Poole

Talon Darkheart -- I have to admit that I find basic a lot, um, less boring?  Than
advanced. -- Leeta
P.S.  Other employees?  What other employees?

T-hawk -- I will make an effort to get an episode in here, but no promises, as I
expect to be on the road the day this arena runs.  It's clearly going to be one of
THOSE years.  Again. -- the Scribe
P.S.  But then, lately they've ALL been like this.

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

28 March 2005
Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order
to continue playing?  Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with
case law or legal advice?  The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from
us once (though I recently had that decision overturned).  I believe it's only a
matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need
be.  I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated!  I
can be contacted at:
     Danny Warren
     P.O. Box 250 
     Draper, UT  84070
     Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47

28 March 2005
Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest
contest ever to grace the arena sands!  Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got
it going on!  What is this contest?  It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!!
This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up
some of the slack.  Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?).  It's an
"alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time.
Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. --
Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances

28 March 2005
Contest Announcement
It's finally here!  ScumFest 2005!  The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are
formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest
scum in all of Alastari!

Who:  All Scum in Alastari
What:  Scum Fest 2005!
Where:  Talahya
When:  May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499

The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at
the end of the 10th round.

Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order):
- Head to Head Record
- Win/Loss Percentage
- Average Fight Length
(We'll go into overtime if they're still tied)

There are no other rules.  A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to
accomplish his goal.  Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc.
Anything goes!

To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter,
declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com

Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants.  You may enter the
competition up until Turn 494.

Prizes will be announced after the competition begins.  The point of the contest is
to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize.

Good luck and Happy Scumming!

-- Manager

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JAMES T. JERK bested JOE POOLE in a 1 minute bloody Challenge fight.
KING BROWN SNAKE slimly won victory over BILL POOLE in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
DEATH ADDER was defeated by TRINA LARK in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
STONEFISH savagely defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a monotonous 10 minute Title fight.
PINE LEAF bested TIGER SHARK in a 2 minute duel.
DALE defeated BUBBA JONES in a exciting 3 minute struggle.
ZIPPER viciously subdued BOX JELLYFISH in a 1 minute novice's competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    20 -   5 -  1      80  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         TOTAL PARRY       14 -   5 -  0      74  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         BASHING ATTACK    11 -   9 -  1      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         AIMED BLOW         3 -   3 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  13 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK    1 -   7 -  1      13  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 501 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      STONEFISH 4489             22   9  0   94 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
LUNGING ATTACK   JAMES T. JERK 4590         11   1  0   84 STAR DRECK (467)
WALL OF STEEL    JOE POOLE 4534             15  14  0   69 KRILL CAVALRY (403)
BASHING ATTACK   TIGER SHARK 4575            6   5  0   55 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is PINE LEAF 4580.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BUBBA JONES 4621.  The ten other most popular fighters were ZIPPER 3459, JAMES T. 
BILL POOLE 4634, DALE 3458, JOE POOLE 4534, and DEATH ADDER 4582.

The least popular fighter this week was STONEFISH 4489.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BOX JELLYFISH 4641, DEATH ADDER 4582, JOE POOLE 4534, DALE 3458, BILL 
and JAMES T. JERK 4590.


Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis!  
Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005.  It will be 
at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  The rooms 
are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! 
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  See you there!

Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe!
Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 
1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's 
reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your 
reservation soon before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and
several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all 
looking forward to it and that we will see you there!