Date   : 09/29/2005    Duedate: 10/12/2005


DM-24    TURN-514

This Weeks Top Honors


(24-4590) [15-3-0,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JAMES T. JERK                  INNY MEANIE
STAR DRECK (467)               MONEY PIT (475)
(24-4590) [15-3-0,114]         (24-4656) [4-1-0,31]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PINE LEAF                      PINE LEAF
KRILL CAVALRY (403)            KRILL CAVALRY (403)
(24-4580) [19-21-0,87]         (24-4580) [19-21-0,87]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KRILL CAVALRY (403)         50
2. STAR DRECK (467)            14      STAR DRECK (467)
3. MONEY PIT (475)              6      Unchartered Team
4. AUSSIE KILLERS (455)       -23
5. WATER DECK (459)           -41      MONEY PIT (475)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 STAR DRECK (467)          15   3  0 83.3   1/ 1 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      10  5 0
 2/ 1*MONEY PIT (475)            8   2  0 80.0   2/ 2*MONEY PIT (475)           4  2 0
 3/ 3 WATER DECK (459)          80  45  4 64.0   3/ 4 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)      4  5 0
 4/ 4 AUSSIE KILLERS (455)     119 113  4 51.3   4/ 5 STAR DRECK (467)          2  1 0
 5/ 5 KRILL CAVALRY (403)      483 489 13 49.7   5/ 3 WATER DECK (459)          2  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

              + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Deep Waters #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The rowboat was surrounded by the giant lakeweed, and Woodman did not like it.
Boats got trapped by weed in the normal course of life, and even that wasn't good.
But this stuff, this was sinister.  This was some kind of Plot.  However, he WAS a
Convincian Hero, than which few others are so heroic, so he stiffened his upper lip
and turned to his companion, Jessaro Dra, the Mordant Escapee (from Zorpunt, but he
had also escaped from that town when its current troubles began).  "Things are
looking a little tight," he said, striving for a calm, matter-of-fact voice.  "You
might want to make sure your knife is loose in its sheathe."
     Dra looked around wildly.  As proven by his personal history, his first impulse
in a tight situation was to escape.  There did not appear to be any ready avenue of
escape here, however.  "I suppose swimming is out?"
     "No, go right ahead."  Woodman gestured at the water around them, which was full
of giant weeds.  "You won't suffer long."  Then he sighed and shook his head.  "You
shouldn't have to ask that, Jess.  There's no escape unless you can fly."
     Dra looked right, left, behind, ahead.  As he did so, he shrank back from the
edges of the little boat, ending up huddled in the bottom of it.  "Don't let them get
me, Tom!"
     Woodman watched the ribbon-like "tentacles" weave together over their heads, and
his hand twitched toward his sword.  He could probably cut through a few of them
before they sank the boat, but so long as they weren't being overtly hostile, he
would hold off and live.
     It was a gradual but definite change in the light that alerted him to the next
     Unfortunately, it alerted Jessaro Dra, too.  "We're sinking!" he shrieked.
"It's going to DROWN us!"
     "There's an air bubble around us," Woodman pointed out.  "That'll keep us alive
for a while.  IF you relax.  When you get excited, you use up the air faster."
     Dra's eyes darted around at the boat, Woodman, the cage of lake weed, and the
pearl-colored wall of the bubble.  He bubbled a little himself, moaning in fear.
"We'll be killed.  Killed.  Drowned.  Strangled by the weed--"
     "Give over, you coward.  We're not dead yet, and anything might happen to give
us a break."
     The bubble, which had been moving smoothly, accelerated, the position of the
weeds enclosing it changed, and the boat and the two standbys were flung onto a slope
of pebbles.  Behind them was a mirror-flat sheet of water, the murky green of an
uncleaned swimming pool.  The pebbles of the beach were small as peas and perfectly
round.  When Woodman stepped out of the boat, he found them to be slippery and prone
to roll under his feet.  He looked at the boat, noting the planks which had been
cracked or broken by their forceful "landing."  This boat would not be going anywhere
ever again.
     Dra babbled something which was unintelligible by virtue of his gasps and gulps
of fear.  He pointed up the slope, which was more helpful.
     Shapes were moving there.  The light was the same flat, dull green as the water,
which concealed details.  Or maybe it was the alienness of the shapes that blurred
them.  Something very tall and pale stalked toward them.  Its body was a column
without apparent features, the top was...bushy, and dark.  Slender white cables
flicked toward them, moving with unnatural speed.
     More tentacles, Woodman decided, scowling.  This really WAS overdoing the whole
tentacle motif.  His hand flashed toward his sword--he was quick and active--but the
cables or tentacles were faster and whipped around him, binding his arms to his
sides.  Two of them coiled around his neck, choking off his warning to Dra before it
could be uttered.  So this was how it all was to end.  Not a hero's death in battle,
but he hoped he had the courage to meet it with a hero's fortitude.
     Woodman was aware, marginally, of movement in the background.  Other shapes
coming down the beach, and closer at hand, Dra pulling his (Woodman's) sword from its
sheath and hacking at the cables.
     "Sstop!  Not to sstrangle!"
     "Yes!"  The cables around Woodman's torso flexed, shaking him as a dog might
shake a bone.  "Mine!"
     "Sshe ssayss to bring alive."
     "Useless to arrgue," a deeper voice said.  "Brring them back allive."
     With a final flex, the cables released Woodman, so suddenly that he was thrown
to the ground.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 261): NYTEMAIR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 524): ANDILLIA of THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 517): CLINT EASTWOOD of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 512): TENTACRUEL of WATER DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 513): VELOND WOK of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Nolan Orgel, team
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 506): DR. ROSENZWEIG of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 475): VIRULENT of BLOOD ANGELS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 467): LURLINE GRACE of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 456): GNEISS GUY of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 208): COLLAPSED LUNG of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 373): TYPHOON XXII of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 361): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 163): SOLAR SISTER of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                            (Street Legal, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM  8 ARKERS (turn 261): LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 524): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 524): THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 517): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 512): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 513): MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 511): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 506): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 475): PHILANTHROPISTS (Aragorn, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 467): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 456): CYNICAL DELUSIONS (Eclipse, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 208): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 373): none
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 361): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 163): NIGHTHAWKS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 408): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  8 ARKERS (turn 260): JAGUARMAN of PHOENIX FIRE (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
                          KAMI of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 524): LINI DAWNWIND of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                   (turn 523): ELIZA PIGERON of TUFT TUGGERS (Tankesh Dushanbe, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 512): JOE POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 505): JET'E of IRON THRONE (Mage?, mgr.)
                         FREEDA of RED DOG GANG (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 456): GNEISS GUY of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 162): <COOKIE JONES> of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)
                             <ERASER> of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in ZORPUNT!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  MVP award for BILL POOLE?  KRILL 
CAVALRY's proud of him after beating TIGER SHARK and getting 18 points.  Talk about 
yer major upsets!  TIGER SHARK's match with BILL POOLE cost him a loss of 15 points!  
Like STAR DRECK's JAMES T. JERK is sweating since he got challenged by Duelmaster 
TENTACRUEL!  And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh 
well, welcome JAMES T. JERK.  Aren't STAR DRECK proud.  (Oh, my.) Who was the wiseguy 
that said ZORPUNT's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The Welcome Wench?  Don't 
look at me!   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  The warriors of AUSSIE KILLERS must be getting 
lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I don't?  
Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are STAR DRECK?  AUSSIE KILLERS, an easy team to beat 
if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Can STAR DRECK's JAMES T. 
JERK be more popular than me?  He was challenged the most, but is that really the 
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  Hey you guys, don't you think your 
families would like to hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I gotta leave.  ZORPUNT is like such a dump, and you guys 
smell too much!  Remember you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JAMES T. JERK 4590           15   3  0   114       STAR DRECK (467)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STONEFISH 4489               26  16  0   111       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 TENTACRUEL 4588              12   5  0    93       WATER DECK (459)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PINE LEAF 4580               19  21  0    87       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 BILL POOLE 4634              12   6  1    78       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 KING BROWN SNAKE 4635        10   7  0    74       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGER SHARK 4575              9  10  0    58       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BUBBA JONES 4621             13   9  0    56       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
 TRINA LARK 4615              13  12  0    56       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
-OMASTAR 4665                  4   0  0    43       WATER DECK (459)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 INNY MEANIE 4656              4   1  0    31       MONEY PIT (475)
-VAPOREON 4613                 3   3  0    31       WATER DECK (459)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ULTIMATE SIN 4659             4   1  0    23       MONEY PIT (475)
-TAIPAN 4667                   1   3  0    21       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
-DEATH ADDER 4582              2   6  0    16       AUSSIE KILLERS (455)
 MIKKI POOLE 4675              1   0  0    15       KRILL CAVALRY (403)
-CLOYSTER 4666                 0   1  0     7       WATER DECK (459)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Star Dreck -- When's Jean Fluke Retard going to make his appearance?  James T Jerk's
so, well, old.... -- Aussie Killers

Tiger Shark -- The stripes are weird.  Makes you look sort of like a goldfish. -- Joe

King Brown Snake -- That old "bury him in the sand" thing is getting REALLY old.
Could you think of some other way to show contempt? -- Bill Poole

Tentacruel -- Well done, as usual. -- Pine Leaf

The Userous Merchant is a wimp. -- Trina Lark and Bubba Jones

King Brown Snake -- You're the most loquacious Aussie Killer we've encountered in
months.  Keep it up! -- Bill Poole
P.S.  I'm very tasty.  It's all the garlic I eat.

Arenamaster Kai -- That's, um, very up front of you.  Let me think this over and get
back to you. -- Joe Poole, who hadn't planned on leaving

15 September 2005
                             HAMMER ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

     Be it known from the highest mountains to the darkest alleys of Alastari that
the veteran manager known far and wide as Hammer has now officially retired from
sponsoring contests as of September 15, 2005.
     What a long time ago was a fun motivated activity to help promote our common
DM/D2 gaming interest in an effort to promote the growth and competitiveness of
selected arenas has become a far from fun experience.
     In other words Hammer has had it!
     The combination of real life situations interfering with the time needed to
effectively sponsor a contest, plus the attitudes expressed during such sponsorship
interference has led to Hammer closing his personal coin coffers and retiring from
his planned sponsorship of any future contests.
     There are others in our close knit gaming community who are well able to step up
to the plate and continue sponsoring contests that make the basic game a fun
experience for all those who choose to compete and interact in such future endeavors.
     Hammer thanks all managers both active and inactive who helped to make the
Hammer sponsored contests a historical and entertaining experience well worth the
time, effort and money spent over the past several years.
     May the Cheers and the Jeers of future contests build upon the legacies of those
who have paved the way in years gone by to help make this game what it is today.
     Hammer has no regrets for the part he has played in that history.

19 September 2005
I'd like to say hello to everyone I know that is still around after my being gone for
five years.  Hope to see you all on the sands, and may your weapons strike true and
your shields protect you (except, of course, against MY warriors *grin*)!! -- Lord
Xiang, D2-101

26 September 2005
Regarding the Regional News:
     If any of y'all glance at it and find some arenas are behind, rest assured I'll
get them caught up next time around.  I was trying to unsnarl the darned thing, but
it was just getting worse, so I decided gradual and partial was better than not at
all or ever. -- The Saint, keeper of lists

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TENTACRUEL was devastated by JAMES T. JERK in a 1 minute Challenge Title fight.
KING BROWN SNAKE lost to PINE LEAF in a 2 minute gruesome battle.
TIGER SHARK was demolished by BILL POOLE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
BUBBA JONES viciously subdued AMBITIOUS GUARD in a popular 1 minute gory contest.
TRINA LARK subdued INNY MEANIE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
ULTIMATE SIN won victory over EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 4 minute bloody fight.
MIKKI POOLE narrowly defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 2 minute amateur's brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW         8 -   1 -  0      89  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -   3 -  0      73  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK    14 -   8 -  0      64  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         WALL OF STEEL     11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         TOTAL PARRY        9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         LUNGING ATTACK     9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         STRIKING ATTACK    3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 514 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         3  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   JAMES T. JERK 4590         15   3  0  114 STAR DRECK (467)
BASHING ATTACK   TENTACRUEL 4588            12   5  0   93 WATER DECK (459)
SLASHING ATTACK  BILL POOLE 4634            12   6  1   78 KRILL CAVALRY (403)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TRINA LARK 4615            13  12  0   56 KRILL CAVALRY (403)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is PINE LEAF 4580.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was PINE LEAF 4580.  The ten other most popular fighters were KING BROWN SNAKE 4635, 

The least popular fighter this week was ULTIMATE SIN 4659.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were INNY MEANIE 4656, TIGER SHARK 4575, TENTACRUEL 4588, TRINA LARK 
BROWN SNAKE 4635, and PINE LEAF 4580.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

JAMES T. JERK (24-4590) STAR DRECK (467)