Date   : 08/11/2003    Duedate: 08/23/2003


DM-25    TURN-459

This Weeks Top Honors


(25-4288) [14-6-2,143]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(25-4288) [14-6-2,143]         (25-4501) [3-1-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

GGLEEMANN                      ASHERON'S CALL
CARNIVAL (354)                 OTHER GAMES (424)
(25-4801) [15-6-0,97]          (25-4501) [3-1-0,33]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CHAUCERS WORDS (452)        13
2. OTHER GAMES (424)           11      THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)
3. CARNIVAL (354)               9      Unchartered Team
4. THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)     9
5. PRESIDENTIAL? (459)          1      OTHER GAMES (424)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2*OTHER GAMES (424)          3   1  0 75.0   1/ 2 CARNIVAL (354)            9  6 0
 2/ 4 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)  16   8  2 66.7   2/ 1 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)      6  9 0
 3/ 5 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)      39  25  1 60.9   3/ 3 PRIMATES-R-US (389)       4  2 0
 4/ 7 PRIMATES-R-US (389)       85  75  3 53.1   4- 4 SLY'S SLAYERS (432)       4  2 0
 5- 8 BARONE (215)             250 241 20 50.9   5/ 5 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)  3  0 1
 6/ 1*PRESIDENTIAL? (459)        1   1  0 50.0   6- 6 EASTERN HORDE (367)       2  0 0
 7/ 9 CARNIVAL (354)           299 328 12 47.7   7/ 9*OTHER GAMES (424)         2  0 0
 8-10 SLY'S SLAYERS (432)      112 126  5 47.1   8- 7 WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)    2  2 1
 9-11 WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)    85  96 14 47.0   9/10*PRESIDENTIAL? (459)       1  1 0
10-12 THE NATURALS (259)       108 133  7 44.8  10-11 BARONE (215)              0  5 0
11-13 EASTERN HORDE (367)       11  14  1 44.0  11-12 THE NATURALS (259)        0  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #117 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Tonga, a Lord Protector who had graduated here, stood on the top level of the
arena and looked out over the small city.  The past year or two had not been kind to
Seam.  Buildings still stood between the center of the city and the river, but the
other half of the town was in ruins.  "It wouldn't look any worse if there'd been a
war here," he muttered to his teammate, Nathaniel G.
     "If there'd been a war, there would be more bodies," Nathaniel argued.  Anything
else he might have said was drowned out by rumbling deep in the earth.
     The geyser that had broken out a few months ago burst into the air, bringing
sulfur-scented steam.  It rose in the center of the devastated area, shooting higher
than the arena walls before a wind from the west seized the top of the plume and blew
scalding mist to the east.  The circle of abandoned buildings marked the distance
that any normal wind was likely to blow the deadly steam.  Although some of the
destruction in the center had resulted from the blast that released the geyser, and
from the occasional earth-shocks afterward, most of it was due to vandalism and
     Some of the vandals, Tonga noted sadly, were gladiators whose teams hadn't found
new homes after the arena closed.  He could understand their anger and despair, but
wished they'd found a more constructive outlet.  Others were relicts of the civil war
who, for one reason or another, had nowhere else to go.
     "Point's in worse shape," Nathaniel said when the geyser finally subsided.
"Wiped out by..." he hesitated, not wanting to attribute the destruction of Point to
     "Ghosts," Tonga said.  "Might as well admit it.  Everyone says it was ghosts out
of Krael that wiped out Point and hit Iaye, too."  He glanced sideways at his
companion.  "When you were out toward Point, did you swing down to Ti?  We haven't
heard a word from there in, I dunno, weeks, months?"


     Karanjal walked into the Krill Cavalry guildhouse and flopped into a chair.  He
wasn't sure now what he had expected life to be like once he became a Lord Protector,
but he knew he hadn't expected to end up as a courier riding all over the Clanhold.
He accepted a mug of cold cider from his teammate, Flitter McGee, and drank deeply.
     Flitter waited impatiently, and when Karanjal didn't seem likely to stop
drinking, he said, "Well?"
     "No, not well," Karanjal growled.
     "You went to Ti," Flitter prompted, when no further comment was forthcoming.
     "There isn't any Ti.  Empty beach.  Not even ruins."
     "Some kind of wave, like took out Point?" Flitter guessed.
     "You're not listening!"  Karanjal slammed his mug onto the long refectory table
in sudden irritation.  "There is no Ti.  It's like there never was a Ti.  With Point,
there are ruins.  With Ti, nothing.  I searched the coast for three miles each way--
What a joke, each way from what?  I couldn't even be sure exactly which part of the
coast used to have the town on it!"  He was silent for a moment.  "There's a cliff at
the water's edge," he said finally, "some kind of purplish rock with fossils in it.
Like nothing I've seen anywhere before.  I'm guessing that's where Ti used to be,
that somehow the town got swapped for a piece of some other coast somewhere...."
     "But that's impossible!"
     "Unlikely, maybe, but what other explanation is there?"
     "Okay, okay...."  Flitter frowned.  "Okay, really big magic could maybe do it,
but really big magic is impossible right now, because of the Chaos contamination and
the Arcanum failing and all."
     Karanjal shrugged.  "I don't have to come up with answers, thank all gods!  I
just go and gather facts.  Someone else can figure out what's going on."  He heaved
himself up reluctantly.  "I suppose I'd better write out a report."

At an unknown location:

     Belana listened to the sliding rocks, but she kept her eyes moving.  Just
because she could hear someone coming from one direction, that didn't mean there
wasn't somebody coming from some other direction, too.  The man who emerged from the
trees was dark enough to be Delarquan, but if this was the wrong side of some Gate,
that didn't mean anything.  She supposed she should be glad it was human.  Or at
least looked human.  Her gaze flicked to the man and then along the edge of the
trees, back to the man and along the trees on the other side.  He looked like
Gelleran.  Not exactly, but very nearly like Gelleran.  Maybe he was trapped on this
side of the Gate, too.
     Or maybe this was somebody or some THING else that was mimicking Gelleran's
appearance to put her off guard.  There was a lot of deceit in the world--in ANY
world, after all.
     The man came down the last of the slope in a half-run that made enough noise to
cover anyone else who might be moving in the woods.  "Belana!  My seer said you would
be here--I'm so glad you're not badly hurt!"  He came up against the low wall that
marked that side of her floor, hitting it with a jolt that would knock the breath out
of anyone.  He grinned at her, panting.
     If this wasn't Gelleran, the illusion was beyond her ability to penetrate, and
she couldn't refuse help just because she didn't trust this world.  Belana put down
her rock and stood.  "I'm glad to see a familiar face," she admitted.  "But where are
     "On Kordos, of course!"  He recovered his breath and came around the wall,
obviously intending to take her into his arms.
     Belana shied back.  She knew he liked her, but they hadn't been on hugging
terms, that she recalled.  But at least they must be still in the Ghean world, still
on Alastari, even.  She grabbed for the first neutral topic that came to mind.
"Kordos...that's your island, isn't it?  Near Valamantis--"
     "It is my island, yes, of course," he said, lowering his arms and looking
disturbed.  "And yours, too, I hope.  As my betrothed and soon-to-be wife and queen,
I hope you will come to regard Kordos as your home just as it is mine.  But...I do
not know of this Valamantis you speak of."

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not in Zuwayza:

     A deep drumming sound echoed through the house.
     "That will be the Sultan's men--or the Temple Guards, even!--at the door," the
merchant muttered.  "I dare not refuse them entry."
     The merchant hurried away, and Tankesh dismissed the man from his mind.  The way
his head ached, he didn't figure on wasting his efforts on peripheral puzzles.  The
important thing was to get on his feet without falling down.  He braced one hand
against the wall and pushed himself upward.  After a moment, the room stopped
wobbling around.  He took a careful step toward the small table that held his sword,
picked it up, and slung the belt around himself.  Headache or no, he could fight if
he had to, and just having the sword at hand gave him confidence.  He looked around
the room.
     The doctor was tidying away all sign that someone had been here, straightening
the cover on the divan, scooping up a small cup and spoon, a bit of bloodstained
cloth, anything that might be out of place, and gathering it all into a small bundle
which he shoved into his doctor's bag.  Not speaking, the man gestured for Tankesh to
follow him and darted out a door that had been concealed by a hanging curtain.
     No, Tankesh corrected himself as he scrambled to keep up with the man, not
concealed.  It didn't seem to be anything like a secret door, and the curtain was
probably merely to stop drafts.  Well, whatever.  He didn't suppose that mattered.
He would probably never see these people or this place again.
     The doctor led him down a long hall; some of the doorways opening off it had
curtains for closure and others had real doors of wood.  Even in what Tankesh guessed
was a service hallway, the doors were all surrounded by tiles painted with bright-
colored floral patterns, and the floor, also of tile, had a long strip of striped
carpet down it.  The door at the far end was locked and bolted, but the doctor had a
key and let them out into an alley.
     A blank-faced building on the side made a narrow path of black shadow, but for
the rest, the sun turned the alley into an oven.  The doctor didn't pause but led him
onward at a brisk trot, around a corner, and in through another door, across a small
courtyard, into a dusty hallway, out another door, and on and on through a maze of
buildings and alleys.  Tankesh wondered what kind of practice the man had that he
knew this maze so well.  They saw few people in their rapid passage, all of them
heavily cloaked and moving away.
     They ended up in another small courtyard, this one dominated by a spreading
cypress tree and a tiled pool of water with a fountain splashing gently into it.
     "I will leave you here," the doctor said quickly.  "The sage may be able to help
you return to your own world.  Fare you well, Traveler, and may the Goddess smile
upon your going out and your returning."  Before Tankesh could respond, he vanished
back through the gateway.
     "So you are a Traveler, eh?"  The voice came from the deep shade of the cypress,
unhurried and genial.  "It's been a long time since I Traveled, though I visited many
worlds in my youth.  Come sit here by the fountain and tell me how it is with you,
young man."
     Tankesh peered into the shadow but couldn't make out more than a vague presence.
With a slight shrug, he moved closer, noting with relief that the air was distinctly
cooler under the tree.  He sank down onto the rim of the fountain and squinted into
the shadow.
     The sage was very old, a shrunken, withered figure barely visible among a nest
of shawls.  How could he stand shawls in this heat?  "What's going on?" he asked.
     The old man sighed.  "It's a time of change, young man.  I have studied many
lifetimes and do not fully understand it.  There is always the possibility of
Traveling from one world to another, but the choice of destination is ordinarily
restricted, and the passage is difficult.  For some reason beyond my slender
understanding, this is changing...at least for now.  A world of which we know
nothing, have never Visited--your world--is coming into conjunction with ours.
Travel is easy, even happening by sheerest accident.  Thus, I gather, your presence."
     "The doctor who brought me here said the same thing, more or less.  But that
still doesn't tell me why ME, what happened to my companion, and how I get home!"
     The old man laughed.  "Why you and what happened to your companion, I cannot
guess.  As to how you might get home--"  He stretched one thin leg out in front of
him, and the sunlight burned on a crimson slipper with a curled toe.  "I don't think
my shoes will fit you, but there are other ways.  Quite simple, really.  Come into my
terminal."  He hoisted himself to his feet and headed for a door that was barely
visible under a deep arcade.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): NUBIAN GOD of VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): CONAN of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): SLIM SHADY of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
                              (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): BENEFICE of THE TAKEN (The Annalist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): OL' JOE COLLIN of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): NEBBISH of SAILS OF CHARON from ARADI (The Sentinel)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): THE ASININE (Philthy Phil, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 458): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): WRESTLMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                           FOTHERINFOP of WIMPS OF PERIL (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
                           BETHUNES of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
                               JUGHEAD of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                               BART WELLENS of 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
                   (turn 468): BOOTLEG PATCHWORK of  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo
                               Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
                           SUE of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): FLITTER MCGEE of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
             (turn 453): INFERNO of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): LONGARMOFTHELAW of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
                          SLAP HAPPY of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
              (turn 316): SCUMBAG of WIMPS OF DEATH (Wimpy, mgr.)
                          WETBOX of BOXES (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): RHYTHM METHOD of SURPRISE! (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

I wish I could blame the missing Duelmaster Column on the commission last turn, for 
not a single personal ad, spotlight, or column showed up.  However, in my case, it is 
my own incompetence to be blamed.  Lucky for me, my incompetence in administration 
doesn't follow me to the sands and I easily beat Peroxide last turn, whose strategy 
seemed a little odd, but I won't complain.

The previous turn, of course, resulted in the death of Big Hurt, who took only a 
single blow to his Right Arm before being carried off the stands to the infirmary.  I 
hear that the attendent who was checking him in kept him bleeding in the waiting room 
for 30 minutes as she kept asking his name and he kept responding Big Hurt, to which 
she said she knew about his Big Hurt, but needed to know his name.  I'm not sure he 
ever got to see a doctor.

One more win and I'm outta this place.  I can only hope I don't blow it.  I will, 
once again, avoid the top contenders and hope for a favorable matchup.  Assur says 
avoids are good things, for even if your opponent is equivalently skilled, on his 
challenge, he is prepared to the max.  Should I be successful in getting my 
invitation to the Isle of the Eye, I will take my last turn in the Dark Arena, one of 
Assur's favorite customs.

 -- Went to Market

notes from Assur:
I do apologize for missing the DM Column last turn.  I've always hated when people 
don't write a column and now I went and did it!  Oh well, I suppose I should give a 
little more grace when others miss their columns.

Since I also like to reveal my warrior's vitals when they graduate and who knows 
whether I'll have this forum again, here are Went To Market's vitals: 12-5-18-21-15-
4-9 Basher.  Masters in Attack and Init, an Advanced Expert in Decise, and an Expert 
in Parry.  That comes out to 81 learns in 29 FE.  I could only wish that his tourney 
results would continue to improve, but I don't see it happening.  0-2 Novices, 5-3 
Initiates, and 7-3 Adepts.

I do wish to thank Zalgor Prigg for giving me the warrior as I've enjoyed fighting 
him.  His career is basically over, now, as I find it highly unlikely that he'll ever 
do anything of note in Darkholm.

-- Assurnasirbanipal

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly LYRATILAN games.  Former top team CHAUCERS WORDS was 
unseated this week as CARNIVAL moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot with a 
3-2-0 record for the round.  ABSOLUCIOUN caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as it skillfully bested LOOPY and was awarded 18 points in recognition.  
In one of the week's more notable duels, ABSOLUCIOUN put down LOOPY, causing him to 
lose 18 points of recognition in the process.  Not for nothing has WENT TO MARKET in 
the past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, and this week he's proven his combat 
skill yet again.  Would you believe that over half of the old women in LYRATILAN seem 
to feel that they could fight better than you gladiators?   
     But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades 
that is city LYRATILAN.  My inside sources tell me that the team to beat in LYRATILAN 
these days is BARONE.  At least, most blades in town are looking to avoid them.  If 
you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard pressed to find any of 
PRIMATES-R-US last week.  Busy avoiding BARONE?  Loose talk at the arena has reached 
my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters are after BATAILLES.  
Watch your back!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears 
arms.  One thing is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     The girls are as pretty in LYRATILAN as ever I remembered them....and the 
fighters as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  More than a sharp eye must I 
keep, indeed a stout pair of legs must I keep as well!  The endless paths of Alastari 
await me!  Till next we meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  
The wise are angered by the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WENT TO MARKET 4288          14   6  2   143       THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MONKEY DO 4152               19  18  0   127       PRIMATES-R-US (389)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GGLEEMANN 4801               15   6  0    97       CARNIVAL (354)
-MONKEY WRENCH 4442            9   1  0    95       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
-PEROXIDE 2926                12   9  2    92       THE NATURALS (259)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BUTTERMILK 4497              22  21  0    87       CARNIVAL (354)
 ABSOLUCIOUN 4872              7   7  0    82       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
-HERO 4640                    14  13  0    75       BARONE (215)
 APE WILD 4337                13   8  1    75       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
-CONFLICT 4734                12  11  0    74       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
-MISERY 4735                  15   9  0    72       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOVEREYN 4870                 9   5  0    63       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
 LOOPY 4642                   14  16  0    61       CARNIVAL (354)
 MERYE 4868                    9   5  0    60       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
-ROXXY 4753                    8   8  2    60       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DUELER 4803                   8   7  0    53       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
-THUNDERBOLT 4867              7   3  1    47       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
 SQUYER 4871                   9   5  0    46       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
-LADY ZVORKNAR 4873            4   0  0    40       EASTERN HORDE (367)
 BATAILLES 4869                5   3  1    38       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASHERON'S CALL 4501           3   1  0    33       OTHER GAMES (424)
 P'NHEAD 4909                  6   5  0    29       CARNIVAL (354)
-BIG HOUSE BOSS 4906           3   1  1    27       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
-SHE-MAN 4904                  3   1  1    26       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
-HORROR 4851                   4   7  1    24       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
-KING OF QUAM 4880             3   2  1    24       EASTERN HORDE (367)
-CAGE 4913                     3   1  1    24       BARONE (215)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SLACKER 4884                  3   2  0    23       THE NATURALS (259)
 KORN KAKES 4932               3   5  0    22       CARNIVAL (354)
-ALBINO ASSASSIN 4817          3   8  0    21       THE NATURALS (259)
-CRISP 4840                    2   6  0    20       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 JUNGLE JIM 4713               3   1  0    19       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
-SOFA KING 4874                1   2  0    17       EASTERN HORDE (367)
 GEORGE SHRUB 4945             1   1  0    14       PRESIDENTIAL? (459)
 GRAPE APE 4949                1   1  0     4       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
-DIMWIT 4941                   0   1  0     1       BARONE (215)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BIG HURT 4838          9  3 0 BARONE 215            WENT TO MARKET 4288   457         
KING KONG 4500         2  4 0 PRIMATES-R-US 389     BATAILLES 4869        456 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Ultra...er, I mean, Sylvester -- I will be entering the MOTS contest. -- SunGod

All -- I guess I'll be entering this contest a turn or two late.  I didn't even know 
it was being held until I got to Philly.  So, if you don't mind, just let me graduate 
first so that I can claim my prize, whatever the hell that may be.  Thanks and 
remember to avoid my bloodthirsty ass. -- SunGod

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

APE WILD devastated BATAILLES in a 2 minute gruesome mismatched Bloodfeud fight.
GRAPE APE was demolished by KORN KAKES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
WENT TO MARKET overpowered BUTTERMILK in a 1 minute mismatched Title duel.
LOOPY was devastated by ABSOLUCIOUN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GGLEEMANN demolished SOVEREYN in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
SQUYER was vanquished by VISITING ORC in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
MERYE overpowered VISITING ORC in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
JUNGLE JIM was savagely defeated by ASHERON'S CALL in a action packed 3 minute melee.
GEORGE SHRUB was vanquished by P'NHEAD in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        21 -  14 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  23 -  4      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   5 -  1      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  16 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       14 -  14 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  17 -  2      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   19 -  21 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -  18 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   7 -  0      30  |

Turn 459 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  3         3  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   WENT TO MARKET 4288        14   6  2  143 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)
LUNGING ATTACK   GGLEEMANN 4801             15   6  0   97 CARNIVAL (354)
TOTAL PARRY      BUTTERMILK 4497            22  21  0   87 CARNIVAL (354)
WALL OF STEEL    APE WILD 4337              13   8  1   75 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
AIMED BLOW       SOVEREYN 4870               9   5  0   63 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
SLASHING ATTACK  MERYE 4868                  9   5  0   60 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GGLEEMANN 4801.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ASHERON'S CALL 4501.  The ten other most popular fighters were WENT TO MARKET 
4288, GGLEEMANN 4801, MERYE 4868, APE WILD 4337, KORN KAKES 4932, ABSOLUCIOUN 4872, 
P'NHEAD 4909, BATAILLES 4869, GRAPE APE 4949, and BUTTERMILK 4497.

The least popular fighter this week was GEORGE SHRUB 4945.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JUNGLE JIM 4713, SQUYER 4871, SOVEREYN 4870, LOOPY 4642, 

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn: