Date   : 08/25/2003    Duedate: 09/06/2003


DM-25    TURN-460

This Weeks Top Honors


(25-2926) [13-9-2,99]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PEROXIDE                       ASHERON'S CALL
THE NATURALS (259)             OTHER GAMES (424)
(25-2926) [13-9-2,99]          (25-4501) [4-1-0,52]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SOVEREYN                       SHE-MAN
(25-4870) [10-5-0,72]          (25-4904) [3-2-1,19]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PRIMATES-R-US (389)         42
2. THE NATURALS (259)          32      THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)
3. EASTERN HORDE (367)         22      Unchartered Team
4. CHAUCERS WORDS (452)        20
5. OTHER GAMES (424)           19      OTHER GAMES (424)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*OTHER GAMES (424)          4   1  0 80.0   1/ 2 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)      7  8 0
 2/ 2 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)  16   9  2 64.0   2- 1 CARNIVAL (354)            6  4 0
 3/ 3 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)      41  28  1 59.4   3/ 6 EASTERN HORDE (367)       5  0 0
 4/ 4 PRIMATES-R-US (389)       88  75  4 54.0   4/ 3 PRIMATES-R-US (389)       4  2 1
 5- 5 BARONE (215)             250 241 20 50.9   5/ 7*OTHER GAMES (424)         3  0 0
 6/11 EASTERN HORDE (367)       14  14  1 50.0   6/ 8 WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)    3  6 1
 7- 7 CARNIVAL (354)           299 328 12 47.7   7/11 THE NATURALS (259)        3  6 0
 8- 8 SLY'S SLAYERS (432)      112 126  5 47.1   8/ 5 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (411)  2  1 0
 9/ 9 WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)    86 100 14 46.2   9- 4 SLY'S SLAYERS (432)       1  0 0
10/10 THE NATURALS (259)       111 135  7 45.1  10/ 9*PRESIDENTIAL? (459)       1  2 0
11/ 6*PRESIDENTIAL? (459)        1   2  0 33.3  11-10 BARONE (215)              0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #118 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Daisy January rose from the sand where she had knelt by the waterside and
frowned.  "The Trier is FRESH water.  It's always been fresh water."
     "It was fresh water yesterday," Karanjal from Zorpunt agreed.  "But today...."
He shrugged.  "Today there are a lot of dead fish."
     "Because they're fresh water fish, and today the water is salt.  But it doesn't
make SENSE."
     Their manager, Leeta, glanced up from the beach that she was studying.  "It's
Chaos," she said flatly.  She pointed to a line of driftwood and dead fish well up
the beach.  "It's not only salt water today, there are tides."
     "The Trier has tides!" Karanjal protested.
     "A foot at the most."  Leeta shrugged.  "The waves would never come that far up
the beach normally, not without a big storm.  And we haven't had a storm.  So...."
     After a moment's contemplation, Daisy January said, "I don't like it.  It'
     "It isn't the worst that could be happening, either," the Zorpunti pointed out.
"Look at Point...or Ti.  Or look at where Ti used to be, anyway."
     "A sudden disaster such as devastated Point and presumably removed Ti is not the
same as something more, well, subtle and insidious.  Changing the Trier from fresh
water to salt is subtle and insidious," Daisy argued.
     Leeta raised an eyebrow.  "You'd rather have a sudden disaster?"
     "Gods, woman!" Karanjal protested, "don't SAY things like that!  What if
Somebody is listening?"
     "Somebody was!" Leeta said abruptly.  "Get off the beach!"  She grabbed each of
her gladiators by an arm and headed inland at a run.
     Daisy twisted to look over her shoulder.  A wave had risen out on the surface of
the Trier.  It wasn't possible to say how tall it was, there was nothing out there to
measure it against, but it was the biggest wave she had ever seen, and it was moving
toward them.  She thought she glimpsed faces--  Her foot caught on a tangle of grass
as Leeta dragged her off the beach, and she stumbled.
     Leeta hauled her back to her feet, and Karanjal grabbed her other arm.  "Run!"
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     The destruction had been concentrated along the shore and the harbor.  Ships had
been lifted like toys and smashed against the docks.  Warehouses had their front
walls battered in, and many had collapsed.  The streets were an impassable tangle of 
     "Who could hate Tobir this much?" Daisy asked, looking around.  The mess was so
vast, it was hard to imagine where to start cleaning up.
     "It was a natural disaster, and natural disasters aren't about hate, they're
just chance." Karanjal pointed out.  He couldn't stop himself from adding, "Like you
asked for."
     "I'm not sure it was natural," she said.  "I saw faces in the wave--"
     "No, I saw them.  And it made me think about Point and Iaye."  She glanced
around uneasily.
     "The rumors are that Point and Iaye were attacked by ghosts from Krael,"
Karanjal said.  "What has Tobir done to anger Krael?  Krael was gone before Tobir was
ever founded!"  He selected a deposit of rubble on the edge of the zone of
destruction and began to pull it apart, stacking the lumber to one side.  Elsewhere
along what had been Tobir's waterfront, other people were doing the same.
     "What did Ti do to anger Krael?" Daisy asked.  She grabbed the other end of a
beam and helped him drag it clear.  "I can see linking the destruction here to Point,
because of the faces in the wave, but Ti wasn't destroyed, it was just gone."
     "You think it's likelier there are TWO forces destroying towns along this coast?
At the same time, mind you."
     "Ah...good point."  She took a small board and used it to scrape pieces of
broken glass into a pile out of the way.  "So what do we do about it?"
     "Investigate Krael, I suppose."  Karanjal squinted out across the harbor.
"Notice the smell?"
     "Notice?  How can I NOT notice?"
     "Do you notice that it's fresh water again?"
     "What?  Demnat's teeth and whiskers!  It makes me dizzy just thinking about it."
Daisy squinted at him.  "Don't change the subject, Kar.  How do we investigate Krael?
It drowned centuries ago."
     He shrugged.  "We're Lord Protectors.  We've got friends, resources, contacts we
haven't tried to use yet.  We'd better start using 'em, though.  Who knows how far
the destruction might spread?  Down to Ardivent, maybe to Osksi and beyond?  Up to
Amen-Tei?  We've got to have information, and fast, before the whole west coast of
Alastari is wiped out."

The Isle of Kordos:

     Gelleran frowned at Belana, plainly worried by her talk of places that, so far
as he knew, didn't exist.  "The witch's attack must have, um, distorted your
memories," he suggested finally.  "In truth, there is no Valamantis anywhere within
the circles of the world.  Though why the witch would take the trouble to plant such
an idea in your mind I cannot imagine."  Since she would not accept a hug from him,
he took her hand, and even that he did as though he expected to be repulsed.  "Come,
my dearest."
     Belana felt a twinge of remorse.  The Gelleran of this world, whatever world it
was, obviously had a much closer relationship with the...the Belana of this world.
It seemed hard on him, but she just couldn't push herself to act as though SHE was
the one betrothed to this man.  "Where are we going?"
     "To my palace, of course.  My court physician, Adelora Markion, may be able to
help you."  He hesitated.  "If you will permit that?"  He led her gently out of the
ruin and up toward the trees.  "She is a priestess of the Healing Light, and I
thought...you seemed quite comfortable with her."
     Belana blinked.  A priestess healer named Adelora?  Yes, she wanted very much to
meet that woman!  As they passed into the blessed shadow of the trees, she noted that
Gelleran drew his sword.  Her hand went to her waist automatically, even though she
knew her sword had vanished along with Alastari.  "Is there danger?"
     "There may be," he answered, looking alertly from side to side.  "We found a
boat drawn up on the beach around the point," a half-gesture indicated the rocky
point to the west of where Belana awakened.  "It might have been fishermen seeking
shelter from last night's storm...except that there is no one to be found around
there, and fishermen wouldn't go far from their boat.  I fear it is more likely
minions of the Gray Witch have landed on Kordos, and I will take no risks where you
are concerned!"

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #13 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Sailing to Skaithvarn:

     One of the crewmen had climbed to the very top of the mast and was examining the
horizons with a spyglass.  "Land ahead!" he reported.  "Looks like the Volarbyn
     At Raoul's questioning glance, Goff said, "Highlands just north of Istoreth."
     "Ship coming from the north," the lookout added.  "I don't recognize her
shape...."  He continued to stare northward through the spyglass.
     "And that's the flip side of the problem with getting lost from our world," Goff
said as he headed for the steering area.  "Somebody getting lost from the Other Side,
wherever that is.  Sometimes they act like pirates.  We may have a fight on our
     Raoul, who had fought in Aruak City as In Gerfel We Trust, rubbed one hand down
the scabbard of his sword and nodded.  A fight was something he understood, not like
this skipping in and out of alien dimensions.  He could handle a fight, and would.
     The two ships were close enough together now that he could see details even from
the deck.  They were seeing it head on, so there was no way to tell how long the
other ship was.  But it looked blocky, and the sail was tall and rectangular and
seemed to have horizontal ribs; there was a bearded face with staring eyes painted on
the parchment-colored sail in red and black.  Definitely not something familiar.  He
could just make out some figures near the rail, and if they were men, it meant the
ship was big, really big.
     After a moment, Goff handed him the spyglass.  "Take a look and tell me what you
make of that."
     Raoul wiped his face with his silk handkerchief, refolded it carefully, and put
it back in his pocket.  Then he accepted the telescope and squinted through it.
Details leaped into prominence.  Several people--they did appear to be men, so far as
he could tell--were scurrying around on the deck of the other ship.  He could see the
gleam of sunlight on steel, as though a couple of the men were armed with cutlasses,
but otherwise they looked like ordinary sailors.  More or less.  One man was studying
the Iayan ship through a spyglass.
     "Doesn't look like a warship," Raoul said after a moment.  "Looks like a big-
bellied merchant, in fact.  But I reckon they'll fight if they think they need to."
     Goff nodded, looking gloomy.  "Same like us, except we're not a heavy cargo
ship."  He sighed.  "Let's hope it doesn't come to fighting."
     They watched for several minutes while the strange ship drew steadily closer.
Men were working to lower the sail, or perhaps to change the angle, it was hard to be
sure, since nothing seemed to be happening.  There wasn't enough wind to make much
difference.  Goff's own crew was also working with their sails in an effort to keep
the two vessels from coming together.  As matters looked now, Raoul judged that they
wouldn't collide, but only barely.
     The merchantman glided near them.  A man by the rail waved his arms and called
out something in an unfamiliar language.
     Goff mimed confusion and shouted back, "I don't know where you want to go, but
you're in the wrong world."  He pointed to the tree-fringed headland visible to the
west.  "Skaithvarn!"
     The most elaborately dressed man on the other deck gestured confusion and turned
to one of his companions as the ships passed beyond closest approach.
     Raoul watched it drift away.  "What will happen to them?" he asked.
     "If they're lucky, they'll go through another thin spot between worlds and end
up back home.  If not..." Goff shrugged.  "If they have a good cargo, they'll sell it
wherever they can and adapt to new ways, make a new home for themselves.  There's
nothing we can do for them."
     "I suppose so."  Raoul squinted at the shore.  "I suppose what we need to be
doing is thinking about Istoreth, who we want to talk to and what we want to say."
     "It will be a delicate issue," Berdan said behind him.
     Raoul didn't jump, but if he'd had less self-control, he might have done.  The
former assassin could move as silently as a cloud when he wanted to.  "Why?"  He
figured he knew, but wanted the Fratsfan's angle.
     "We need to find Peranis and recover the Black Book without making it sound so
important that someone local decides THEY want it.  If Peranis hasn't already sold
it, of course.  And if he has sold it to one of the Lords of Istoreth--"
     "An even bigger problem," Raoul agreed.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Assur is quite pleased with what I've accomplished in my time here in Lyratilan.  I
was 6-4 at one point, yet manage to graduate at 14-6.  The commission ranks me as
favoring the greatsword, a high offensive effort, and a very low activity level.
Assur told me not to be upset, for that is better than what the commission will
typically tell a basher.

My only regret, a small one, is that I do not leave with a WAK award.  But it is a
risk every gladiator takes when entering the sands.  I certainly have never wished to
kill another, but it happens.  So, as long as I've already got a pair, I'm going for
three of a kind.

After my night fight, I will travel to Darkholm on the Isle of the Eye.  I hope to
travel in a stateroom and not a box.  I hear the resurrection process is not pretty
and quite painful.  Apparently, Assur has a warrior who has seen that process 6
times.  And when the commission feels fit to grant my naturalization status approval,
I will join Assur's growing host of bashers in Darkholm.  He says I'm not what he's
looking for, but that I have promise and will probably outperform many of his current

Finally, it looks like Carnival will assume the throne next turn.  I can think of no
better stable to relinquish it to.  Certainly, they have the top two contenders.  I'm
personally rooting for Buttermilk.  He's been a great sport fighting me turn after
turn.  Thank you, Buttermilk, for all those fights and learns.  Good luck to you and
I will be proud to stand beside you as a Lord Protector one day before Sheila

-- Went to Market
   39th Lord Protector for Assurnasirbanipal, Basher #17

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Say good-bye 
to CARNIVAL, as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the CHAUCERS WORDS 
stable.  For every winner there is a loser.  Speaking of losers, lets take a look at 
SLY'S SLAYERS, who went down to 4th from 9th.  Life is tough.  Coming up with a solid 
3-2-0 outing, THE NATURALS has advanced 4 places in the rankings.  It looks like the 
guys(?) at PRIMATES-R-US had a good week as they went 3-0-1 to put them in 4th place. 
I guess steroids help!  Hey everybody, watch out for NAUGHTY ONE, who flew up 20 
points in the rankings after mashing TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE like a melon.  Keep your eye 
on this gal.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was ROXXY, who dropped 8 
points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with SOVEREYN.  The most 
challenged warrior this week was WENT TO MARKET.  If this keeps up, our Duelmaster's 
going to need more avoids!  Unlike most arenas, WENT TO MARKET managed to get his 
challenge off against the 0-0-0 DARK CHAMPION.  The crowds were amazed this turn, as 
DARK CHAMPION killed the Duelmaster, WENT TO MARKET, leaving THIS LITTLE PRIGGY in 
mourning.  This incredible death has allowed, I might add, PEROXIDE from THE NATURALS 
to ascend to the throne of Duelmaster, and I hear DARK ARENA is not happy.  Advice to 
bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger halberd!   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that CARNIVAL was most avoided 
team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of CARNIVAL's warriors, I'm not 
surprised!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch THE NATURALS' act in the arena.  
Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from CARNIVAL.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  This round goes to PRIMATES-R-US, their 
14-8-2 warrior, APE WILD slew the 9-6-0 MERYE.  Stay tuned next week to see what 
happens.  Yesterday I talked to the BARONE's manager and WENT TO MARKET, slayer of 
BIG HURT.  The manager:  'I think I can, I think I can'.  WENT TO MARKET:  'I already 
did'.  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with 
you and see what happens.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in LYRATILAN have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Hasta la 
bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PEROXIDE 2926                13   9  2    99       THE NATURALS (259)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MONKEY DO 4152               19  18  0   127       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
-GGLEEMANN 4801               15   6  0    97       CARNIVAL (354)
-MONKEY WRENCH 4442            9   1  0    95       PRIMATES-R-US (389)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 APE WILD 4337                14   8  2    89       PRIMATES-R-US (389)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BUTTERMILK 4497              22  21  0    87       CARNIVAL (354)
 ABSOLUCIOUN 4872              7   8  0    76       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
-HERO 4640                    14  13  0    75       BARONE (215)
-CONFLICT 4734                12  11  0    74       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
-MISERY 4735                  15   9  0    72       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
 SOVEREYN 4870                10   5  0    72       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LOOPY 4642                   14  16  0    61       CARNIVAL (354)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DUELER 4803                   8   7  0    53       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
 ROXXY 4753                    8   9  2    52       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 BATAILLES 4869                6   3  1    52       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
 ASHERON'S CALL 4501           4   1  0    52       OTHER GAMES (424)
 SQUYER 4871                   9   6  0    47       CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
-THUNDERBOLT 4867              7   3  1    47       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
 LADY ZVORKNAR 4873            5   0  0    43       EASTERN HORDE (367)
 KING OF QUAM 4880             4   2  1    34       EASTERN HORDE (367)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLACKER 4884                  4   2  0    31       THE NATURALS (259)
-P'NHEAD 4909                  6   5  0    29       CARNIVAL (354)
 JUNGLE JIM 4713               4   1  0    29       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
 BIG HOUSE BOSS 4906           3   2  1    26       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 SOFA KING 4874                2   2  0    26       EASTERN HORDE (367)
-HORROR 4851                   4   7  1    24       SLY'S SLAYERS (432)
-CAGE 4913                     3   1  1    24       BARONE (215)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ALBINO ASSASSIN 4817          3   9  0    22       THE NATURALS (259)
-KORN KAKES 4932               3   5  0    22       CARNIVAL (354)
 GRAPE APE 4949                2   1  0    22       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
 NAUGHTY ONE 4964              1   0  0    20       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 SHE-MAN 4904                  3   2  1    19       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 GEORGE SHRUB 4945             1   2  0    15       PRESIDENTIAL? (459)
 CRISP 4840                    2   7  0    13       WINDY CITY WOMEN (440)
 LITE SLEEPER 4965             1   0  0    13       THE NATURALS (259)
-DIMWIT 4941                   0   1  0     1       BARONE (215)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BIG HURT 4838          9  3 0 BARONE 215            WENT TO MARKET 4288   457 NONE    
MERYE 4868             9  6 0 CHAUCERS WORDS 452    APE WILD 4337         460         
POTTY 4966             0  1 0 THE NATURALS 259      LIZARD MAN 363        460 NONE    
KING KONG 4500         2  4 0 PRIMATES-R-US 389     BATAILLES 4869        456 REVENGED
WENT TO MARKET 4288   14  7 2 THIS LITTLE PRIGG 411 DARK CHAMPION 360     460 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WENT TO MARKET was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
POTTY was slaughtered by LIZARD MAN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
BIG HOUSE BOSS was subdued by LADY ZVORKNAR in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ASHERON'S CALL vanquished SQUYER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
JUNGLE JIM luckily beat SHE-MAN in a 3 minute brutal Challenge fight.
GRAPE APE devastated CRISP in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
PEROXIDE overpowered ABSOLUCIOUN in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Title struggle.
APE WILD put to death MERYE in a action packed 1 minute expert's fight.
SOVEREYN vanquished ROXXY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BATAILLES overpowered THE HONEST MERCHANT in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
KING OF QUAM overpowered ALBINO ASSASSIN in a 1 minute uneven match.
GEORGE SHRUB was overpowered by SOFA KING in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SLACKER demolished FRATSFAN NOBLE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
LITE SLEEPER devastated FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 4 minute one-sided battle.
NAUGHTY ONE devastated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       5         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  11 -  1      61  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         AIMED BLOW        21 -  14 -  0      60  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         BASHING ATTACK    15 -  13 -  2      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       13 -  12 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    24 -  23 -  1      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   5 -  1      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -  21 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  18 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   5 -  0      29  |

Turn 460 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  2         3  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  PEROXIDE 2926              13   9  2   99 THE NATURALS (259)
WALL OF STEEL    APE WILD 4337              14   8  2   89 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
AIMED BLOW       SOVEREYN 4870              10   5  0   72 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
BASHING ATTACK   BATAILLES 4869              6   3  1   52 CHAUCERS WORDS (452)
LUNGING ATTACK   KING OF QUAM 4880           4   2  1   34 EASTERN HORDE (367)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SOVEREYN 4870.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SHE-MAN 4904.  The ten other most popular fighters were MERYE 4868, KING OF QUAM 
2926, APE WILD 4337, SOVEREYN 4870, and BATAILLES 4869.

The least popular fighter this week was LITE SLEEPER 4965.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were GEORGE SHRUB 4945, ALBINO ASSASSIN 4817, ROXXY 4753, CRISP 
4840, JUNGLE JIM 4713, SQUYER 4871, POTTY 4966, SOFA KING 4874, ABSOLUCIOUN 4872, and 

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:


                                FACE-TO-FACE XXXII

     Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday 
through Sunday, 16-18 January 2004, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S 
Rural Rd).  Room rates are $119.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy, which includes breakfast.  
The rooms are blocked.  The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with 
the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block.  Our room block will be 
released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then.
     There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.  The hotel is 
located down the freeway in Tempe.  All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra 
charge).  There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and 
restaurant inside the hotel.  And there's Denny's right across the street.  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
     The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late 
November/early December. 
     If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue.  If you have, 
you'll be back.  Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast!  See you there! 

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff