Date   : 11/03/2003    Duedate: 11/15/2003


DM-25    TURN-464

This Weeks Top Honors


(25-4337) [18-8-2,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

APE WILD                       SIAMESE SPY
PRIMATES-R-US (389)            KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)
(25-4337) [18-8-2,116]         (25-4971) [1-0-0,29]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

TAM ULLAN                      NOLAN ORGEL
THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)         THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
(25-4984) [10-8-1,58]          (25-4981) [12-6-1,98]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)      42
2. KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)      29      THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
3. KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)      0      Unchartered Team
4. PRIMATES-R-US (389)         -9
                                       KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)     1   0  0  100   1/ 1 PRIMATES-R-US (389)       9  3 0
 2/ 1 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)    58  32  4 64.4   2/ 2 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)    9  6 0
 3/ 2 PRIMATES-R-US (389)      100  78  4 56.2   3- 3*KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)   3  0 0
 4- 3*KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)    5   4  1 55.6   4/ 0*KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)    1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #18 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     They were all assembled in the throne room of the Satrap's palace:  he,
Khannarth, Kasarya, the Satrap's First Wife Jasryala, and the Satrap himself and his 
guards.  It was not crowded, even with those numbers present, and Tankesh looked
around curiously.  The style was foreign to what he was used to, of course, but he
was surprised to find it less ostentatious than he had expected.  Apparently the
Satrap didn't feel the need of external aids to boost his prestige and authority.  A
good sign, in one way, a bad one in another.  This was probably a man who would act
intelligently to deal with his problems, and in Tankesh's experience, intelligent
foes were worse, in the long run, than impulsive ones.
     One of the guards in front of him shifted, allowing Tankesh to see the Satrap of
the Glorious Empire for the first time.  Younger than the Andorian had expected, in
his thirties, maybe.  Regular features, but foreign, of course.  The swarthy skin and
slightly hooked nose characteristic of the Karnhorn people, but blue eyes.  Odd,
that, but he'd heard that previous satraps, and the sultans of Serevada, for that
matter, sometimes took "foreign" women, what they called "white barbarians" to wife.
Not that it mattered.  What mattered was that this man, this Satrap Kharanjal, looked
intelligent, decisive, and royally pissed.  Bad combination.
     The Satrap was in consultation with a plainly dressed man, possibly a minor
official, more like a spy.  Finally he nodded and waved the man off, then turned to
the people standing before him.  "I see four people before me who have had positions
of trust and who have wronged the Satrap," Kharanjal said.  "You have been brought
here together because your various treacheries are perhaps linked."  He looked them
over coldly as the guards shifted again and moved Tankesh into a line beside Kasarya,
Jasryala, and Khannarth.  "I will start with the foreigner."  His gaze settled on
Tankesh.  "What have you to say for yourself, barbarian who claims to be a King's
     "First, that I am an envoy of King Mickeal of Andoria," Tankesh answered just as
crisply.  "I was sent to find out what had become of Princess Samara's children, when
she came here to Zuwayza with her second husband--"
     "Whose name is not to be mentioned in this place," Kharanjal cut in.  "His
treasons have found him out, and his end was less unpleasant than he deserved.  The
woman and her children returned to the west."
     "So I discovered.  Eventually.  So I might have discovered sooner and without
having to sneak into your palace, if ANYONE here had been helpful."  The elf
shrugged.  "I got in, and encountered Kasarya, who was concerned about--"
     "She will tell me her concerns, at the proper time.  That you acted as seemed
best to you with regard to the children I will grant.  But what prompted you to think
it any part of an envoy's privilege to enter into a liaison with the Satrap's
concubine?  The licentiousness of elves is of course well known, but I would have
thought someone chosen for an important task would have more self control."
     Tankesh's expression hardened.  "If anyone has accused your concubine Kasarya of
improper behavior, that person lies, and I can guess why.  The lady requested my aid
in ferreting out a conspiracy, and we have been partners in that effort, but nothing
     One of Kharanjal's eyebrows rose slightly, but he made no other comment.
Turning to the younger of the two women, he said, "What conspiracy do you claim to
have 'ferreted out'?"
     Kasarya's chin came up proudly.  "I have been always loyal to you, Most Exalted.
But it came to me gradually, like the creeping of dawn, that Khannarth who was
honored to be your Vizier was not so loyal.  There were meetings with emissaries of
the Invader.  There were...gifts exchanged.  I hastened to your First Wife to report
these suspicions, as was proper, and found her intimately engaged with the very
object of my concern, Khannarth.  Seeing this, I began to doubt that any in the
Kashka could be trusted.  Came then this foreigner, and since I needs must trust
someone, I chose him who had no ties here.  If I have done wrongly, I abase myself,
but I have had only the best interests of the Glorious Empire, so far as I understood
them, of the Exalted Satrap, and of yourself, in my heart."
     Again the raised eyebrow as the Satrap looked toward his First Wife, Jasryala.
     She met his gaze with one equally cold.  "Why should I answer ridiculous charges
from that little commoner?"
     "You make no defense?"
     "I need none."
     "Then you shall meet Mighty Kjarran across His altar and answer to Him."
     It was a shock to realize that, so simply, the Satrap was proposing to sacrifice
his wife to Kjarran.  Tankesh didn't like the woman, much less trust her, but he
wondered if he should intervene here.
     Before he could say anything, Jasryala said, "I fear nothing from the Mighty
One, for He will see that it was I, not you, who was working for the good of the
Glorious Empire.  And my brother will deliver Kjarran's judgment upon you."
     "You think I fear Jhuizkhal of Kurukar?  He has forsaken Kjarran, and if any
judgment is made involving him, it will compass his destruction."  The Satrap turned
at last to Khannarth, but the Vizier remained silent.  Kharijal made a sign to the
guards, who took Khannarth and Jasryala away.
     To Tankesh, the Satrap said, "I see that whether you have made Kasarya your
leman or not, you have a regard for the wench.  Therefore I will permit you to redeem
her from the altar of Kjarran by performing a small task for the Glorious Empire.
Which task shall be yours to choose or refuse as you wish, and if you refuse, no harm
will come to you, King's Envoy, save that you will be expelled from all the lands of
the Glorious Empire forever on pain of death.  But Kasarya shall then be given to
     "What 'small task'?" Tankesh asked.
     "Remove from this plane of existence the offense which is Jhuizkhal of Kurukar."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): ABYSS of PHANTOM FORCES 2 (The Catalyst, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 467): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 463): CURTIS JOSEPH of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 463): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 464): WOOLLY LOCO of POISONOUS PUGILISTS (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 460): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 425): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 323): ACHONDROPLASIA of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 359): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 236): TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 467): none
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 463): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 463): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 464): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 460): GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 425): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 418): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 323): POWER BROKERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 138): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 359): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 235): ODDJOB of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 474): SECRET of YOUNG JUSTICE (Rillion, mgr.)
                               NEVILLE of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Rillion, mgr.)
                   (turn 473): RED HOT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
                               SUMTHING PAINFUL of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 467): JUDITH of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 417): FOOTSORE of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 322): VERISIMILITUDE of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                          PUTZ'N ALONG of JOKA MASHER! (Sultan, mgr.)
                          BIGGLES of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 137): SHADOW HAWK of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail LYRATILAN!  Warriors of the arena, prepare to be praised and blamed for 
your deeds.  And let's see, SIAMESE SPY fought POLITE BEGGAR and gained 29 points and 
contributed to KITTY KONSPIRACY's 1-0-0.  GRAPE APE has lost to BRON CHOLLU, falling 
16 points, while helping make PRIMATES-R-US a 2-2-0 turn.  The attempts to dethrone 
the Duelmaster have failed, and APE WILD remains LYRATILAN's top warrior for another 
turn.  By the way, was that our Duelmaster that I saw last night, cramped under the 
table at The Piper's Rest?   
     Oriental wise man once say, 'Hiding behind shields prevents proper sun tanning.' 
Inscrutable, but true.   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  A brave warrior does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover or 
hide when the fight is over.  Consider well.   
     Remember, blood on the purple robe does not change it from a purple robe.  Dare 
to fight bravely.  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep your 
swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until you see my quill in LYRATILAN again, 
farewell-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 APE WILD 4337                18   8  2   116       PRIMATES-R-US (389)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MONKEY DO 4152               19  18  0   127       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
 NOLAN ORGEL 4981             12   6  1    98       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 XYLZ AREE 4987               10   4  1    97       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MONKEY WRENCH 4442           10   3  0    75       PRIMATES-R-US (389)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRON CHOLLU 4988             10   4  0    59       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 TAM ULLAN 4984               10   8  1    58       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUNGLE JIM 4713               8   1  0    55       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
 GRAPE APE 4949                5   2  0    50       PRIMATES-R-US (389)
 YENTA ZEL 4986               11   4  1    42       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIAMESE SPY 4971              1   0  0    29       KITTY KONSPIRACY (462)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SIR AGRAVAINE 496             2   1  0    22       KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)
-SIR PALOMIDES 493             2   1  1    15       KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SIR LANCELOT 495              1   2  0    14       KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT (77)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MERYE 4868             9  6 0 CHAUCERS WORDS 452    APE WILD 4337         460 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Well, hecky-doo, as the saying goes, what are we doing here?  No, scratch that, it's
obvious what we're doing here.  We're mostly losing to monkeys.  But I thought we
were all settled in for a quiet year or three of doing nothing in Point.  Not that
we're FROM Point, we were from Ti, until Ti went away.  Not much fun sitting on a
vacant beach, especially in the winter.  I don't know how Debby Tonte does it.  So we
went to Point, which at least has a few sticks around pretending to be buildings, and
found us a good tavern to sit in instead.  And then, whammo, here we are in
Lyratilan.  And it looks like we're staying in this pesthole.  Uh, nothing personal.
We'll fight if we have to and talk whenever we can, so write us personals!  We love
it when people write us personals.  We can turn just about anything into a reason to
party. -- Nolan Orgel, team captain, Middle Way 4
P.S.  Leeta's our manager of record, but she hasn't paid any attention to us in a
long time, so ignore her.
P.P.S.  But if I find out that she ordered this transfer, there will be a reckoning!

Ape Wild -- And scary, too!  I haven't the least desire to play Fay Wray to your King
Kong, you know. -- Xylz Aree

Monkey Wrench -- And one back at you! -- Nolan Orgel, pleased to see a win come down
the road, because, while I was not at all pleased to find myself in an arena again,
winning is a better return than losing

Grape Ape -- Purple?  I've heard of Purple Donkeys, but a Purple Ape?  My. -- Yenta

Jungle Jim -- The acrobatics were, um, impressive, yes, I think that's the word I
want here.  One does not often see a gladiator do fancy twirls around the flagpole
between minutes. -- Bron Choleu

Honest Merchant my left big toe!  I know a chiseler when I see one! -- Tam Ullan

Damn, only five fights and there was one of us in every one.  I see now why "they"
were after us to come here. -- Nolan Orgel

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

APE WILD bested NOLAN ORGEL in a 2 minute Title fight.
MONKEY WRENCH was devastated by XYLZ AREE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GRAPE APE was overcome by BRON CHOLLU in a popular 1 minute match.
TAM ULLAN vanquished HAPPY PEASANT in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
YENTA ZEL was luckily beaten by JUNGLE JIM in a 2 minute brutal fight.
SIAMESE SPY devastated POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute uneven brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         WALL OF STEEL     16 -   7 -  1      70  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   6 -  0      65  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK     9 -   5 -  2      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         AIMED BLOW        13 -   9 -  0      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   3 -  0      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         LUNGING ATTACK    17 -  14 -  0      55  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  14 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  13 -  1      38  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 464 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    APE WILD 4337              18   8  2  116 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
SLASHING ATTACK  XYLZ AREE 4987             10   4  1   97 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
STRIKING ATTACK  MONKEY WRENCH 4442         10   3  0   75 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
PARRY-STRIKE     TAM ULLAN 4984             10   8  1   58 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
TOTAL PARRY      JUNGLE JIM 4713             8   1  0   55 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
LUNGING ATTACK   GRAPE APE 4949              5   2  0   50 PRIMATES-R-US (389)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TAM ULLAN 4984.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was NOLAN ORGEL 4981.  The ten other most popular fighters were YENTA ZEL 4986, APE 
AREE 4987, TAM ULLAN 4984, MONKEY WRENCH 4442, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was MONKEY WRENCH 4442.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were TAM ULLAN 4984, XYLZ AREE 4987, JUNGLE JIM 4713, BRON CHOLLU 
4981, and  0.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

APE WILD (25-4337) PRIMATES-R-US (389)


     Beginning at the Winter Face-to-Face in Tempe (January 2004), we will implement 
several changes affecting tournaments.  The tournament announcement for the upcoming 
FTF and future tourneys will reflect these changes.
     First, we will eliminate the tourney freeze for all regular DM warrior classes.  
Regular DM warriors will not be classed ahead of the tournament, but instead will 
fight according to their FE on the date of the tourney.  There will still be a freeze 
for the ADM classes, occurring on the same timeline as before, approximately 6 weeks 
before the tournament.
     In addition to the above change, the warrior classes will be slightly altered.  
The new tourney classes will be as follows:

                DM Tourney Classes                 ADM Tourney Classes
              ======================              ======================
                  0 FE:  Rookies                        Freshmen
                1-4 FE:  Apprentices                    ADM
               5-10 FE:  Initiates                      Eligibles
              11-20 FE:  Adepts                      ---induction---
              21-30 FE:  Champions                      Contenders
                31+ FE:  Challengers                    Primus

     All regular DM tourney classes will remain solely FE based.  All ADM classes will 
now be based on warrior characteristics (i.e., the ADM split algorithm), including the 
Freshmen class.
     The Gateway and Primus arenas will be merging before the FTF to form one top 
arena.  These warriors will be split into two tournament classes, the Contenders and 
the Primus classes, again based upon their characteristics.  More information on this 
will be published in the newsletters for those arenas.
     If you have any questions about the above changes, please contact Customer 
Service.  Good luck in your games.

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI staff