Date   : 07/07/2008    Duedate: 07/19/2008


DM-25    TURN-586

This Weeks Top Honors


(25-5257) [26-2-0,149]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KEG STAND                      POSITION IS EMPTY
BARHOPPERS (429)               
(25-5257) [26-2-0,149]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CROWN ROYAL                    MISS SCARLET
BARHOPPERS (429)               GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)
(25-5274) [14-14-0,65]         (25-5413) [10-12-0,50]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)      31
2. BARHOPPERS (429)            29      BARHOPPERS (429)
3. FUNKY FOLK (469)            18      Unchartered Team
4. GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)      14
5. BARHOPPERS II (434)         11      ROCK HEADS (316)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BARHOPPERS (429)         138 109  4 55.9   1/ 1 BARHOPPERS II (434)      12  3 2
 2/ 2 WE BEE BAD (130)          64  60  6 51.6   2/ 2 BARHOPPERS (429)         10  5 0
 3/ 3 FUNKY FOLK (469)         102  98 13 51.0   3/ 3 FUNKY FOLK (469)          7  4 0
 4/ 4 BARHOPPERS II (434)       28  27  7 50.9   4/ 4 WE BEE BAD (130)          5  6 0
 5/ 5 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)   323 358 10 47.4   5/ 5 THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)    4 11 0
 6/ 6 GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)    36  67  1 35.0   6/ 6 GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)    2 10 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #8 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the shores of a lake:

     Senator Sedalia and Gissanniah stood side by side on the shore and looked
around.  Across the water, along the shore each wah, at the woods behind them.
Mostly pine woods, where the forest on the Isle had been mostly broadleaf trees.
     "So, we're not on the Isle anymore, are we?"
     Sedalia shook his head.  "No.  Ah, do you feel that you should, perhaps, have a
small black dog at this point?"
     "What?"  She turned to stare at him.  "Why would I have a dog with me?"
     "Ah.  Well... just a passing thought," the senator said.  "But I do wonder if
we're still even in the same world as the Isle.  Well, we must be, so maybe I should
say, are we still in the same world as... Andor.  Iaye.  The places from which we
have come."
     "That might take some finding out."  Gissanniah looked around again, then
gestured to the left.  "Let's get moving and see what we can find out."
     Sedalia looked and shrugged.  Nothing to distinguish one direction from another,
so what difference did it make which way they went?  "Why not?" he said.


     Fandil stared at the man--he claimed to be an officer in a fire-control company-
-in shock and consternation.  "You didn't even TRY to put it out?"
     "Why should we?" the fireman answered.  "That 'military academy' was a hotbed of
beast-men and elves, agents of oppression of the true people of Convincia.  No skin
off OUR nose if they burned down."
     "But... fellow citizens of the Andorian League--"
     "That's a joke!"
     Lenpro put a hand on Fandil's arm.  "Leave it, my friend.  This man will have
good reasons for his position, and argument never changed anyone's mind."
     "The so-called 'Andorian League' is run by the elves and the beast-men," the
fireman said.  His tone was deadly serious.  "They set up a whole GUILD of spies and
assassins to enforce their rule and tried to persuade all us true humans that being
an assassin--that SCUM--was 'noble' and worthy of admiration!  What can you think
about people like that except that they're sick and wicked?"  He gestured at the
smoking remains of the military academy.  "So we're cleaning them out, and high
     Fandil seemed incapable of response, which Lenpro decided was just as well.  The
old mage was a exceptionally idealistic man, and he believed in the Andorian League.
Lenpro believed in the League--or some form of union--also, but he was, he hoped,
honest enough to admit its flaws and inequities.  The League had been conceived as a
counter to the Delarquan Federation, but these days he thought people forgot that it
was not THE counter, not the only possible workable response.  And in a way, this
man's grievances were valid, or at least had elements of truth in them.  The king and
many of the highest lords had elven blood, a lot of it in some cases, and the Aruaki
did seem to be, at the least, very prominent in the military, besides occupying a
large and fertile territory within the League lands.  Add to that the Assassins'
Guild, the blackest blot on the Andorian culture, and he could see how it would look
to a normal human who spent most of his time working on a farm.  And with the total
disinterest shown by the king and the central government in recent problems....  He
sighed.  "I see where you're coming from," he said to the fireman, "but I don't think
the violence of your actions is going to do you much good in the long run."  He held
up his hand to stop the man's protest.  "In the end, violence may be necessary--who
can tell UNTIL the end?  But this is the beginning, and it's a bad precedent to set.
People will see this as bloody rebellion rather than rational protest."
     "The only people we care about are--"
     "What if the Delarquans or the Karnhorns come pouring over the borders to 'quell
turmoil that might spill over into their lands'?" Lenpro asked.  "If you've destroyed
the military, who will you call on for defense?"
     "Oh."  The fireman was silent for several minutes, obviously considering the new
angle.  Eventually he said, "We don't need to worry about the Delarquans, they'd have
to come through Ardivent and the Aruaki Clanholds to reach us.  But the Karnhorns...
might be a problem.  Huh.  Maybe we'd better think about this."
     "Do," Lenpro said.  "And remember that you COULD turn on your Aruaki and elven
allies later and destroy them--an act worthy of any assassin!  But if you destroy
them first, they'll never be allies."
     "We'll think about this," the fireman said again.
     "Do."  Lenpro took Fandil's arm and drew him away before he could make any of
the protests that were visibly forming in his mind.


     Herlas cast his spell of convincing illusion on the golem-king, and it was a
good one if he said so himself.  Not that he would say it; for the first time in a
life that had contained many questionable and self-serving acts, he was deeply
ashamed of his work.  He wasn't sure why; he was not, after all, some kind of wild
patriot.  Was he?  Why had Korneth insisted on parading this fake king through the
streets of Andor?  Herlas had to be part of the parade in order to stay close to the
target for his spell, and it made him uncomfortable.  People lined the streets, but
there was no cheering.  No catcalls, either, just sober silence.  Or sullen silence.
Maybe some of them did believe they were seeing the king, but that didn't make them
happy.  The king was a stranger, hadn't been in Andor for years, and had done nothing
for 'his' country during those years.  Why should they be glad to see him?
     The golem rode in a carriage, waving occasionally but attempting nothing more.
Herlas had advised that minimalist stance; the golem just wouldn't have been
convincing if it had tried to smile.  Odd, really.  There were plenty of golems
around these days that couldn't be told from true-born people, so why hadn't Korneth
gotten one of the better ones?  Did he WANT to be found out?
     "That is not the king."  The voice was low, positive, dangerous.
     Herlas's hands twitched on the reins of the horse he was riding just behind the
carriage, but he managed (he hoped) a suitably casual air as he glanced to the side.
Damn.  Lady Protector Sir Crystal Fireblade, a royal knight.  He hadn't realized she
was in town.  Did Korneth know?  More important, what was he, Herlas, going to do?
The lady knight had a formidable reputation and had been pledged to serve the king
directly as his protector.  Hundreds of different calculations of the odds of this or
that tumbled through the mage's brain.  Finally he shrugged.  "No.  I argued against
this display, but..."
     "Where IS the king?"
     "I don't know.  I asked, early on.  Didn't get a clear answer, and... it was
made clear to me that I shouldn't ask again."
     A faint, ladylike snort.  "Probably not."  She was silent for a moment.  "I went
with the king to the Isle--some time ago.  He vanished.  Completely vanished.  I have
been hunting for him since then, on the Isle and in other places that can be reached
from there.  At first, there were rumors that he might have passed through.  Nothing
I could trace.  Then fewer rumors, then none.  Finally I came back."  Her voice was
bitter, and still dangerous.
     "I have heard some people say--whisper--that the king has sought his own
happiness in some other dimension where he can still have his princess wife with
him," Herlas offered.
     "If that should be true, I think the less of him for it," she snapped.  "It
isn't a king's business to seek his own happiness, especially at the expense of his
responsibilities to his people."
     Herlas did not say that such a sense of responsibility was hard to imagine.
Once it would have been, but lately he was beginning to wonder.  Still, if the king
truly was gone--or dead--and without heirs, what was there left?  "What do you
propose to do?" he asked.
     "It was not the king's intention to abandon Andoria, on that last trip to the
Isle," she said slowly.  "Mind you don't let your illusion slip!"
     Herlas adjusted it hastily.
     "So I think someone persuaded him--I do not know what means might have been
used, but it could have been done, I think--and whisked him away.  That person, I
will find."  Her hand clenched on the reins of her mount.  "Oh, yes, I will find him.
Or HER, if it was--"
     It was Herlas's turn to give warning.  The Grey Witch had ears everywhere.  "Do
not mention that person!"
     She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "Yes.  No names without proof."
     "And no vengeance without proof."  Gods, the irony that HE, Herlas of Zensu,
should be the one to argue prudence and fair dealing!  "And what good will it do
Andoria, when your vengeance has fallen on the deserving party?"
     "Who will be king then?  Or will the League fall apart and be subject to the
attacks of its neighbors--many of whom do not love it."
     "I hadn't thought beyond--  I don't know who will take the throne," the lady
knight said.  After a moment, she added, "We're facing a civil war, aren't we?"
     "I think so, yes.  That is why, one reason why, I have gone along with this
travesty."  He gestured at the golem.  "It buys a little time."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 297): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 596): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 596): STEWART of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 589): DONDRIC of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 585): MORLIN POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 585): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 582): IRIS of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 578): WORLD CHUMPS of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 538): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 529): GODZILLA of THE BEARS II (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 245): PAINFUL PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 431): DIMAGGIO oF 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 481): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 297): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 596): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 589): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 585): MEDAL OF HONOR F3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 585): BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 582): ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 578): RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 547): MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 538): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 529): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 245): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 431): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 481): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): HAMMURABI of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 596): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                               DELIA'S GONE of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 578): WORLD CHUMPS of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
                         WINDSONG of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 547): PARTICLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in LYRATILAN since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf Modeen 
adapts to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  What's with CHIANTI?  He 
actually beat THE MIDDLE WAY 4's FEDER JORNIS, and walked away with 19 more points 
from the fight.  Laughs were big at THE MIDDLE WAY 4 while they watched ELINDOR 
IMARDA clobber PINOT GRIGIO.  He lost 10 points and got bruised from objects thrown 
from the stands.  TRELLIN XISS was reminded on the sands why KEG STAND is Duelmaster. 
Advice to fighters with a 1 will--give up fighting!   
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges...   
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  We all knew it had to happen sooner or later.  A 
warrior can't stick around with a 5-17-1, and PINA COLADA easily took care of GUDGE.  
Here's some advice:  study your opponent, master many skills, fight dirty.   
     Who knows what the future holds for a warrior.  More fights, there's no doubt.  
All work and no play makes Olaf a dull fighter.  Work and play no fighter dull Olaf.  
Olaffighterwork and no play.  Time for my medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, 
practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KEG STAND 5257               26   2  0   149       BARHOPPERS (429)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STAN DAUFF 5323              10   3  1    93       FUNKY FOLK (469)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PHIL ANDERER 5404             7   1  0    90       FUNKY FOLK (469)
 X. ROLPH TUPP 5287           18  27  0    81       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 TRELLIN XISS 5321            17  19  0    79       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 ICE PICK 5420                 8   1  0    68       BARHOPPERS (429)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CROWN ROYAL 5274             14  14  0    65       BARHOPPERS (429)
-MASON DIXON 5363              9   2  1    65       FUNKY FOLK (469)
 ELINDOR IMARDA 5381          11  12  0    64       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 PINOT NOIR 5335               8   4  1    57       BARHOPPERS II (434)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MISS SCARLET 5413            10  12  0    50       GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)
 PINA COLADA 5434              5   1  2    50       BARHOPPERS II (434)
 CHIANTI 5441                  4   0  1    47       BARHOPPERS II (434)
 FEDER JORNIS 5360             9  19  0    46       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)
 NIGHTFALL 5414                9  13  0    40       GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)
 PINOT GRIGIO 5333             7   5  2    40       BARHOPPERS II (434)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOJITO 5421                   4   5  0    33       BARHOPPERS (429)
 COL. MUSTARD 5411             6  13  0    31       GOTTA GET A CLUE (498)
 WORKER BEE 4212               5   2  0    30       WE BEE BAD (130)
 BEE BEE KING 4211             3   4  0    30       WE BEE BAD (130)
 HOLMER KEYES 5443             2   2  0    28       THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (464)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STEVIE BEE 4213               5   2  0    18       WE BEE BAD (130)
 POLLY HANNAH 5449             1   0  0    13       FUNKY FOLK (469)
 MERLOT 5437                   2   3  0     9       BARHOPPERS II (434)
 FAMOUS GROUSE 5442            2   1  0     9       BARHOPPERS (429)
 HANNA BULL 5450               0   1  0     1       FUNKY FOLK (469)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GUDGE 5410              5 17 1 GOTTA GET A CLUE 498 PINA COLADA 5434      586   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DIRTY BEE 4210          2  4 0 WE BEE BAD 130       CHIANTI 5441          585   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Pinot Grigio -- Your bouquet is familiar, do I know you? -- Feder Jornis, having a
bad day

Famous Grouse -- Ah!  Now that's one thing I *do* know how to do.  I can carve a bird
with the best. -- Holmer Keyes

Keg Stand -- Hey, there was no need to drop your keg on me! -- Trellin Xiss
P.S.  You know, that isn't my strategy, but I kind of like it.  Maybe I'll keep it
for a while.

Stan Dauff -- Not very friendly, are you? -- X. Rolph Tupp

Nightfall -- Watch it, kid, or I'll do you in the hallway with a candlestick. --
Elindor Imarda
P.S.  Do you clank when you walk?  Way too many weapons, girl.  Not to mention the
other problems.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KEG STAND unbelievably bested TRELLIN XISS in a 14 minute master's Title fight.
PHIL ANDERER overcame X. ROLPH TUPP in a 2 minute one-sided match.
ICE PICK vanquished NIGHTFALL in a 1 minute gory mismatched brawl.
CROWN ROYAL overpowered WORKER BEE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
FEDER JORNIS was overpowered by CHIANTI in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
PINOT NOIR bested BEE BEE KING in a 2 minute competition.
ELINDOR IMARDA overpowered PINOT GRIGIO in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
MISS SCARLET vanquished STEVIE BEE in a action packed 2 minute one-sided duel.
PINA COLADA assassinated GUDGE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
COL. MUSTARD was viciously subdued by MOJITO in a 2 minute gory bout.
MERLOT was demolished by HOLMER KEYES in a 2 minute mismatched match.
FAMOUS GROUSE overcame HANNA BULL in a 3 minute novice's contest.
POLLY HANNAH demolished FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -   0 -  1     100  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         BASHING ATTACK    10 -   4 -  1      71  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  15 -  2      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         TOTAL PARRY       23 -  18 -  0      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         LUNGING ATTACK    26 -  26 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  14 -  2      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         AIMED BLOW        10 -  13 -  0      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -  15 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  15 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 586 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  3         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      KEG STAND 5257             26   2  0  149 BARHOPPERS (429)
LUNGING ATTACK   PHIL ANDERER 5404           7   1  0   90 FUNKY FOLK (469)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    PINOT NOIR 5335             8   4  1   57 BARHOPPERS II (434)
SLASHING ATTACK  PINA COLADA 5434            5   1  2   50 BARHOPPERS II (434)
BASHING ATTACK   CHIANTI 5441                4   0  1   47 BARHOPPERS II (434)
WALL OF STEEL    PINOT GRIGIO 5333           7   5  2   40 BARHOPPERS II (434)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CROWN ROYAL 5274.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was MISS SCARLET 5413.  The ten other most popular fighters were PHIL ANDERER 
5274, HOLMER KEYES 5443, FAMOUS GROUSE 5442, CHIANTI 5441, and PINOT NOIR 5335.

The least popular fighter this week was KEG STAND 5257.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TRELLIN XISS 5321, COL. MUSTARD 5411, GUDGE 5410, PINOT GRIGIO 5333,